Find your way home.

“Find your way home” doesn’t” is a process to remind  us that this is the only conscious choice  we have in this life we are living. A reminder.

Home is our truth, our reason for being. It is always there. We forget. It’s the human condition; to utilize our mind in order to survive, and at the same time struggle with the mind’s obsession to find a reason as to why it exists. It is possibly(?) the only thing it has no control over. The mind can’t know it, nor can the mind describe it.

We know it as a feeling.

The mind doesn’t feel. It thinks,  it identifies itself, its existence by what it can measure, do, quantify and qualify, judge, possess, destroy and believe. It has an insatiable need to control this existence it can’t explain.

The unknown, the ‘always-changing’ is an anathema to the mind because it cannot find an answer. That it continues to try is not it’s fault. It needs to believe it is powerful, that it will survive.

With power comes feelings of safety, elation, vitality, and dogged fear that it cannot last. Then there are all the manifestations of denying that fear of change, of death, and therein can we indulge our anger at ourselves and others. That anger is palpable.We are creating it, and we feel in control…almost. There’s always the opportunity to lose control…( our mind speaks of ‘loss of control’ in our society as if it is a bad thing and results in literally, no control. How ironic that if, in fact, we surrendered control, or rather the need to control, so much of our fear goes away – as well as the anger at ourselves for ultimately not being able to have control.)

Learning to recognize my fear of helplessness in all its manifestations; anger, depression, obsession, possession, and finding compassion for my self, forgiving my self for being helpless in the face of mortality, is a process. Not an objective to be accomplished, (herein is a whole conversation about ‘learning’ as not an acquiring of information to achieve control over an object, but a process, a stream with its leaves and flotsam floating among its riffs, ripples and backwater eddies.

I can float.



  • By hilly, February 1, 2011 @ 12:36 am

    Learning to recognize my fear of helplessness in all its manifestations; anger, depression, obsession, possession, and finding compassion for my self, forgiving my self for being helpless in the face of mortality, is a process. Not an objective to be accomplished, (herein is a whole conversation about ‘learning’ as not an acquiring of information to achieve control over an object, but a process, a stream with its leaves and flotsam floating among its riffs, ripples and backwater eddies.

    I can float.

    and therein lies the story of my life!

  • By hilly, February 1, 2011 @ 3:29 am

    except that I’m not s much floating fighting desperately not to drown

  • By Christine, February 1, 2011 @ 5:31 am

    Hi Paul, How great to have you back!. Now I just have to re-read and try to grasp your comments a bit better!. Sometimes you go way over my head but hey, it gives me something to think about.
    :) xx

    Hi Hilly, Me too. Sometimes it feels like I am holding onto a lifebelt!. You know the saying sink or swim?.

  • By Terri, February 1, 2011 @ 6:32 am

    Hi Paul, Always look forward to your words. I am always surprised how many of my thoughts are expressed in your words. Love and Happiness.

  • By hilly, February 1, 2011 @ 7:57 am

    I’m still re-reading this post. so much contemplate…and to try to understand.
    It needs more time.

  • By hilly, February 1, 2011 @ 9:05 am

    An imaginary conversation:
    {*Excuse me Mr Glaser, but is there a line or two missing here? (I know the problem only too well!)}
    Yes, doesn’t everything we do and say and (dare I open the can of beans?) believe remind us that we are seeking that final security of a home?
    Home is our truth, our reason for being. It is always there.
    Right now I feel I have totally lost my way; perhaps the idea that home is always there is what makes me feel safe in my doubt and me fear. No that isn’t a contradiction. I can feel safe in and with my fear if I can believe that I will finally find my way home. Like a child lost in the woods (or like me and Wisdom panicking in a car park wondering where we left the car?) the knowledge that there is still that safe place somewhere makes it possible to go on.
    We forget.
    And that’s when we get lost and confused, right? We forget the Ariadne’s string; the crumb trail in the woods…we lose our grip.
    It’s the human condition; to utilize our mind in order to survive, and at the same time struggle with the mind’s obsession to find a reason as to why it exists. It is possibly(?) the only thing it has no control over. The mind can’t know it, nor can the mind describe it.
    And so maybe all my arguments (my theses not fights) are my way of exercising that obsession. It’s that old fear of losing control again, isn’t it? The idea that we are not in control of our destiny (an idea I refute but I accept that others find comfort in). But wait a minute. I f the mind can not know or describe….what is imagination?
    We know it as a feeling.
    Oh, OK. A feeling – an intuition perhaps. And again can we have an intuition without some imagining of what it may be? An emotion? Ah…comforting or scary?
    The mind doesn’t feel. It thinks, it identifies itself, its existence by what it can measure, do, quantify and qualify, judge, possess, destroy and believe. It has an insatiable need to control this existence it can’t explain.
    Ah yes. That last phrase…ouch! What trouble it can get us into – me up there in the front line! But what about putting it the other way round? For some the insatiable need is to believe in an existence that is in control – and not necessarily seek to explain it. We can be empirical about it (personally I loathed science at school; wanted to explore the wide possibilities not the restrictions of x reacts with y to produce z…but philosophy classes taught me to apply empiricism to thought); we can weigh up the evidence and draw our conclusions. Be willing to acquiesce in the face of ‘faith’ or go one questioning and turning it over and over until, maybe, with luck, we reach the conclusion that feels right. We find a home for that set of paradigms and set off in search of a new theory to wander around. I am of the latter group; I can’t won’t and will never accept a simple explanation for what the ???? we are doing here. So ‘how will I even know my home when I see it again?’…I don’t know. Maybe when I see it again it won’t be the same because I am not the same. Maybe home is a new place I have yet to find.
    With power comes feelings of safety, elation, vitality, and dogged fear that it cannot last.
    The Victorian nanny voice in our heads….’you’ll pay for it in the end’ ‘pride goes before a fall’…or the one I always loved when I still lived in Britain ‘Lovely weather today Mrs. X. Oh yes, mustn’t grumble but we’ll pay for it later….” (go figure!)
    Then there are all the manifestations of denying that fear of change, of death, and therein can we indulge our anger at ourselves and others.
    That anger is palpable.
    And painful when turned n oneself.
    We are creating it, and we feel in control…almost.
    Ah yes, almost….for the time it takes to express it and ‘let it all out’ (repression is bad for the heart in all senses). For the time it takes to say ‘I know what I’m doing here’…and then?
    There’s always the opportunity to lose control…
    We explode. Why is it though that losing control (cathartic and healing as it can be) in these circumstances is ‘bad’ but losing control in the heat of a happy moment is ‘good’? Even in my worst rages I don’t break things up (except maybe me…my deep down inside me) but what about the smashing of a champagne glass?
    …( our mind speaks of ‘loss of control’ in our society as if it is a bad thing and results in literally, no control. How ironic that if, in fact, we surrendered control, or rather the need to control, so much of our fear goes away – as well as the anger at ourselves for ultimately not being able to have control.)
    Ironic indeed…ironic that this is the loss of control that I cannot accept – the loss of control of my destiny….and it is one that others yearn to achieve by their faith.
    Learning to recognize my fear of helplessness in all its manifestations; anger, depression, obsession, possession, and finding compassion for my self, forgiving my self for being helpless in the face of mortality, is a process.
    Compassion for myself…that’s not easy. I can’t have compassion for the errors that have ruined my life so far. Not yet, anyway…maybe one day… I even ask ‘why should I?’ If to have compassion involves forgiveness…I cannot forgive myself for those things. And I acknowledge that this is at the heart of all my fears and depression….
    If it is a process in the face of mortality…will it only end when mortality wins?

    Not an objective to be accomplished, (herein is a whole conversation about ‘learning’ as not an acquiring of information to achieve control over an object, but a process, a stream with its leaves and flotsam floating among its riffs, ripples and backwater eddies.
    To me learning is an ongoing and permanent state of the mind and the ‘spirit’. Objectives are the refuge of the competitive…and why compete with your own life?
    The danger of this stream is that I want to go off and take a closer look at that leaf; I fear being knocked under the surface by that branch.
    I can float.
    When did you learn to stop trying to swim with (or against the current)? I’m still splashing around here…but one day I’ll turn over and trust the water.
    Ah yes…trust….for me that’s the one word I haven’t seen here…and yet all you say invokes it and implies it and even creates it. I seek the moment when I feel I can trust myself; and then all else will be easier. When you studied your craft of acting did you ever do that exercise when you have to trust your partner to catch you when you fell…..I did it in a psychology class. I trusted and I was caught. But I’m not so sure I would be able to catch me as I fall. I have a lot to learn.

  • By Christine, February 1, 2011 @ 10:30 am

    Hi Hilly, What a great post of yours. I must say you have helped me out with a few things I didn’t quite understand!. Can you remember a while back when I said to you that I wasn’t as intellectual as some of you, and you said it could be being on the right wavelength sometimes? you were right my friend!.
    Paul’s words sink in at some point with me. Usually when I am doing something else and it will be like a light bulb going on. A kind of a ‘ping’ moment. I can almost hear you laughing there Hilly!. ;)

  • By hilly, February 1, 2011 @ 11:54 am

    believe me Christine – writing it out like that helped my to have one of those light bulb moments too.

    like we said back then in them thar hills of our youth “tune in and turn on”…….;)

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 1, 2011 @ 12:52 pm

    Hi Paul, I get very happy to listen again), because we need to have everything under control? life passes like a sigh, there are moments of powerlessness over life, but there are many, many. happy, that’s what will come. I do not know. that life surprises me, how many times we say, at some point our living. because not mi.un example, if I have to go to a car, to buy something. and tell me. I do not let me. and an accident happens and that person dies. and one wonders If I had to go. I would have to be in place, that is where we feel guilt. and we do not forgive, it was destiny. do not know. or will we have to complete a mission with our lives, our minds are countless memories, feelings, and want to say, but there are belong to us, is our very life. we remember, and draw our own conclusions. life is for the brave. to the chest and wait, what will come. I want good things to come, but come the bad. we must confront them. for me, as I always say. the important thing is love.’s forgiveness, compassion, to others. and yourself. if you do not remember our past. as we would be today? everything has to, not because the mind can do or think or believe. many things. but life is action, is to live with intensity, we remove our packs past., weigh too much. we have to be torn bags. for be putting things that happen to us, and go on falling by the wayside. enjoy this., and spends a minute. it is past. look at this the best for our being, our soul. and tomorrow will be a great surprise – Thanks Mr. Glaser I hope you understand what I mean, much love. God bless you very much. I love him very much and probably will write again. lots of kisses for you (clarification. if something is misspelled translator’s fault lol)

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 1, 2011 @ 4:30 pm

    “A warrior of light, not left to frighten, when looking for what you need. Without love, no nothing. “

  • By xtexan86, February 1, 2011 @ 11:26 pm

    “The mind doesn’t feel. It thinks,”

    If this is so, then where DO feelings originate? From the heart???

    (Medically speaking, the heart is nothing but specialized muscle cells that conduct synchronized electrical impulses. It has no cells capable of memory or any kind of thought process.)

    I know I’ve posed this question to the host in the past, but don’t recall ever getting a response. I believe our minds make us the unique individuals that we are. If I feel love or hate, good or bad, happy or sad, how is that not coming from my mind? I also feel some emotions are just innate. Why does a baby cry when it’s hungry? Why doesn’t it laugh? Other feelings may not be so inborn…jealousy, fear, boredom. These seem to require some degree of life experience to fully develop.

    Since there are at least a few people here who seem to be able to follow PMG’s line of thought, I’d be grateful if someone could help me understand this viewpoint.

    (Apologies offered in advance in case some kind soul did answer this earlier.) xt

  • By hilly, February 2, 2011 @ 1:15 am

    If this is so, then where DO feelings originate?

    As you rightly say the heart is not a source of thought. It only ‘feels’ when the nerve endings in it signal the pain associated with disease or a heart attack (and then the pain doesn’t always come from the heart itself). And yes we speak of ‘heartache’ and of ‘a broken heart’ (did any of you have to cut up a heart in bio class….a friend and I out our fingers down the blood vessels and walked ours across the table – you can’t break a heart without a good sharp knife!).

    But our mind – our power of thought and imagination attributes these emotions to that ‘senseless’ lump of muscle!

    The brain itself feels no pain either; so if the mind is inside the brain can it ‘feel’ and can it produce ‘feelings’?

    Feelings – the physical manifestations of the mind’s imaginings and inventions? Perhaps.
    When we feel tense with anger – is it the anger we feel or the tension?
    When we tremble with fear or excitement?
    When we feel ‘a lump in the throat’ – there isn’t one but our muscles have constricted; our vocal cords have tensed and our mind has sent out the ‘unhappy’ signal.
    Butterflies in the stomach? What signal is the mind sending then?

    The very word ‘feelings’ conjures up several definitions doesn’t it? The intuitive: ‘I have a feeling that….’ The emotional: anger, sadness, fear etc. And the physical: pain, or any other physical sensation.
    When the three (or 2 of them) come together we have ‘feelings’ and our mind has created them in some way.

    I don’t know if this goes any way to addressing your question. It is a point of departure perhaps.
    For me, at least!

  • By Raffy, February 2, 2011 @ 2:29 am

    Are the mind and the brain the same thing?
    I don’t think they are…. The mind is not a “physical” concept in my opinion….it is a part of our human nature, of our human condition.
    I think that “mind” has been used this way on this blog.
    So if I see things from this angle then it is clear to me that the brain’s cells rule all the many functions our body needs for our survival along with the rest of our organs, and at the same time a part of them are able to “codify” and share feelings, thoughts and emotions coming from “elsewhere”, within or outside ourselves.
    Are we sure, in fact, that when this function stops for a reason or another then that person is unable to… “feel”, only because we can’t get in touch anymore at a material level??

    On the other hand it is true for example that especially some drugs can change our way to feel and to be. And this explains further in my view the interconnection between our material reality on this plain of life and other not visible natures. Masters talk about the existence of many spiritual bodies living inside the physical body we know and that they are connected to each other. Maybe we feel incomplete if not bad when this connection mostly fails. The most of us and our reality is unknown. We see only what is apparent and many times not even it.
    I guess our strong need to gain power over our deep sense of impermanence interferes very much with our capacity to see…beyond.


  • By hilly, February 2, 2011 @ 2:35 am

    Are the mind and the brain the same thing?

    the mind, to me, is a function of the brain….and as you say Raffy a part of our human nature.

  • By Raffy, February 2, 2011 @ 4:12 am

    I think it is the mind which utilizes the brain…

  • By hilly, February 2, 2011 @ 4:22 am

    Exactly – so we have an interesting circle here.

    The brain is an organ of the body – and functions only if all the organs of the body are working with it. BUT it also controls many of the functions of those organs. The mind is a ‘higher’ function – the manifestation of ‘thought’…but it is also the instigator of thought and thought stimulates the inner workings of the brain – on a purely ‘mechanical’ level it makes the synapses and neurones fucntion.
    So the ‘mind’ needs the brain in order to function; but (in the form of thought)it also results from the mechanical functioning of that same brain.

    I smell a chicken omelet cooking …..

  • By Rachelle, February 2, 2011 @ 8:28 am

    Hi Paul

    Thanks for sharing your lovely thoughts. Hope you’re doing well!
    Home is where the heart is for me. Everyday is a new beginning and each day we get back up and try again. Some days we stumble and some days we don’t. Each day I do my best to appreciate what God has given.

    Have a wonderful day, Rach

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 2, 2011 @ 10:11 am

    find my way home… i agree, it certainly is the ‘heart’ , but that means feeling not the heart which is, i agree, a muscle. what about the brain? i don’t know. seems there is something in each of us more than the heart and brain. could that ‘something’ that makes us really feel be our soul? our spirit? our innermost core? we all have a brain yet…if we only use the brain, why should do we have different feelings about hearing a song, a poem, seeing nature or even perceiving what another says?

    yes, finding my way home is a process perhaps but isn’t the process ‘home’ in itself? isn’t that the story of everyone’s life…finding the way home only to realize that we’re already there.. we’re already there because there are moments when we feel safe, cozy and loved but this feeling is not permanent. e.g. someone in the family says something which upsets us and we suddenly feel angry or worst, we suddenly doubt if we are loved at all…but that doubt ‘passes’ because we know we are.

    finding my way home is going through phases, seasons, moods, an variety of feelings which change — but that does not mean anything because i still feel that core.. that ‘me’.

    it is probably accepting what Karl Marx said that change is inevitable (no political connotation)and everyone who is born will take that same uncertain journey … yet the journey itself is one’s ‘home’. yet, we can live gratefully , laugh and love while we are taking that same journey along with the rest of everyone in the world.

  • By Raffy, February 2, 2011 @ 11:40 am

    I believe that what we “feel” and identify as the “heart” could be just an “energy centre” we have at that level…
    We are energy I think…energy flows within us. Our body too is an expression of energy. It seems that we have several energy centres… Maybe their interconnection will make us feel one within ourselves and with the whole universe…

  • By Raffy, February 2, 2011 @ 12:41 pm

    And I think that just when we “witness”, from that place of our consciousness free from judgment, only then the energy can really flow…

  • By hilly, February 2, 2011 @ 1:14 pm

    That makes sense to me Raffy. Chinese medicine thinks so too – acupuncture concentrates on the energy centres.

  • By hilly, February 2, 2011 @ 1:17 pm

    infidelabumpkin said
    finding my way home is going through phases, seasons, moods, an variety of feelings which change — but that does not mean anything because i still feel that core.. that ‘me’.

    it is probably accepting what Karl Marx said that change is inevitable (no political connotation)and everyone who is born will take that same uncertain journey … yet the journey itself is one’s ‘home’. yet, we can live gratefully , laugh and love while we are taking that same journey along with the rest of everyone in the world.

    and I like that idea. We are all ‘SDF’ (sans domicile fixe/homeless) on our journey. Our ‘home’ is that sense of security we have when our fellow travelers share what we see and feel around us.

    does that make sense to anyone else but me?

  • By Christine, February 2, 2011 @ 2:52 pm

    Hi Paul, I’m having real trouble working this one out. Perhaps I am slow on the uptake, or maybe on the wrong wavelength but does your ‘I can float’ comment mean that whatever life my throw at you you can handle?. Or that you have learned to handle things in a calm manner?. Or even a thought just going through my mind, does it mean you take things in your stride?.
    Another thought; I could be totally wrong about it all!!. Your meaning and my understanding it may vary so much. I would like to understand, and I will try to understand…..wish me luck ;)
    With love as always,
    Christine xx

  • By ffmoras, February 2, 2011 @ 3:22 pm

    Oh! My beautiful man!! I don´t know what is it about you that makes me feel this way!! Discovering you, getting to know you, day by day, makes me feel so happy!! Not the character (although I love Starsky of course…) but the man… you!! You throughout your thoughts and your words!!! All of you!!!! You know, I´m not a very special woman but you make me shine…honestly!! since I started watching all your stuff all over again and started reading this blog a few months ago everybody says I´m as bright as a star…and I was just thinking that maybe is because you are my sun!!! You enlighten me!!! I realise I´m shining as if I were a little girl again…got that glimpse in my eyes that´s been missing a long long time ago… marveling about the things I see and feel, enjoying the joy of vivre, the joy of being…and even not to have control of such things as my own feelings and believings and I found out why you were so special to me when I was a kid!!! You -beyond your characters- are a very valuable man, a clever one, a survivor and I think you really know where your home is and you can teach all of us the way to find ours…and I know I can turn my head and find you irradiating light and peace and wisdom after all that you´ve been through in your life……because you really are a wonderful human being…and as far as i´m concern I think nobody can deny -neither you- you put your own in all of your characters and that´s why they are so special… a little piece of you scattered everywhere…
    I wanna thank you for all this and for everything to come, I wanna thank you to make me laugh, to make me appreciate the great value friendship has, to make me feel so young again and to show me the way to find my own road…Dear Paul, you got me….my beautiful man!!!
    I´m floating too! You make it happens!!

    Fernanda :D

    (I wish my english as good enough to you to understand me !!!)

  • By kroselynn, February 2, 2011 @ 4:59 pm

    Is “Home” that place we are all going to?
    Or is “Home” created in our ‘minds?’

    I personally do not at this time feel at ‘Home’ here on Earth (the way it exists at this time).

    Home to me is Heaven, or whatever name you wish to call it. When a loved one dies, I think “See you at the House.” or “See you at Home.” I think I remember a previous blog by Mr. Glaser touched on this idea of Heaven; I’ll have to go back and look for it. Whether it is here on Earth after all is said and done, or in the place we identify as ‘Heaven’ which we commonly believe is ‘in the sky’ somewhere where a person goes when they die, when the spark of life leaves them. My personal ‘belief’ coming through there, I hope I don’t offend anyone. Recognizing that ‘belief’ is not always the same as ‘truth.’

    My idea of home is where ever God resides. That place we are all going to, heading for and working so hard to obtain. It’s a common thread among almost all ‘religions.’ One would argue that ‘God is everywhere.” Yes, He is. But this Earth isn’t what he originally intended it to be, is it? So I still don’t feel at Home here.

    ***Hereafter you should read with the knowledge that I have no idea if Mr. Glaser separates the ‘mind’ and the ‘brain’ in any way or if he considers the two exactly the same. In my opinion, they are two separate things. The brain controls motor functions, solves problems, processes what we look at into pictures, etc. The mind (or heart-or spark of life) is what makes us who we are as individuals, the thing that makes us love some things and hate other things etc. Some might call it a ‘soul.’ ***

    We can’t find an answer to ‘Why am I here? What is my purpose?’ so a brain (or brains-plural) back in the day whenever the concept of “God” came about, came up with a solution; God. And along with the creation of God they decided that only God knows everything. IS that a possible solution to problem that we can’t solve? What is that problem? We are unable to solve the problem of WHY we exist. Is God a creation of the ‘mind?’ (Not the physical brain inside our skulls, that sends signals to the rest of your body so you can move, breath, see…ect) Is the creation of a God who knows everything our solution to our problem? Because a part of that solution is that WE will know everything once we get to where God is. Is it our brains way of controlling what we don’t know because we don’t want to admit we CAN’T know everything with our current level of common intelligence? And we so badly want to (or our brains so badly want to solve every problem and be able to explain and understand it all) that we create a way to obtain the knowledge of everything. Is that what Paul means by “insatiable need to control.’
    How important is it, though, to know everything? Seriously, is it that important? Is this one of the things Paul is trying to tell us without actually coming right out and saying it? That it’s not that important for us to know everything.

    To me, what is referred to as ‘mind’ or ‘heart’ is that so called ‘spark of life,’ whatever it is that makes us ‘individual’ and ‘alive’ as opposed to ‘a part of the human race’ and ‘non-existent/dead/never alive.’ Because without that ‘spark,’ there is no life. So is that spark what it is meant by ‘heart’ or ‘mind’ when we speak about those things in terms of ‘feelings.’

    We ‘feel’ with our mind and our heart (not the muscle that pumps blood, or the grey matter inside our skulls that controls homeostasis.) The way we feel about things is a culmination of our life experiences. Much like a baby who is never held will have trouble loving or trusting anyone when he or she grows up.

    If all we experience (from watching and learning from those around us) is unconditional love, we’re going to love freely. It’s natural to learn from observing others, just as it should be natural for us to observe our own selves, as in ‘watch yourself in this situation, un-judgmentally’. You learn how to ‘handle’ what life throws at you, the good and the bad.

    Our brain is a problem solver-figuring out how to move our hand and fingers just right in order to type for instance. Our brain also sends out signals to release hormones to create feelings as a form of communication or to react to a certain situation (fight or flight response for instance—or falling in love).
    Someone asked why a baby cries when it’s hungry, why doesn’t it laugh? I think it’s because hunger is uncomfortable and a so called ‘bad feeling.’ A baby cries in certain way (they have different cries to indicate different kinds of uncomfortable-ness) to communicate to the one who needs to know that he or she is uncomfortable and needs sustenance. A laugh communicates happiness. Did you ever know anyone, infant, child adult who laughs about being hungry?

    One of my struggles with Paul’s thoughts he takes the time to write down for us with his own time and energy and of which I am so grateful for, is that of connecting them all together so they ‘fit’ and makes sense….Wait! Isn’t that one of his thoughts? LOL! So my next question reflects that struggle:
    My question, not necessarily to Paul alone, is ‘How does the thoughts contained in this current posted blog relate to the idea of ‘you are in everything and everything is in you?’

  • By carol4spot, February 2, 2011 @ 5:33 pm

    Kroselnn says, ”To me, what is referred to as ‘mind’ or ‘heart’ is that so called ‘spark of life,’ whatever it is that makes us ‘individual’ and ‘alive’ as opposed to ‘a part of the human race’ and ‘non-existent/dead/never alive.’ Because without that ‘spark,’ there is no life. So is that spark what it is meant by ‘heart’ or ‘mind’ when we speak about those things in terms of ‘feelings.’”
    Hi Kroselynn, it’s good to see you back! I really liked your post. I believe that ‘spark’ is what gets the ‘engine’ (brain) started, which then powers the major organs. I am of the opinion that it is this ‘spark’ , or ‘heart’ or ‘soul’ or ‘core’ or ‘spirit’ that ‘fires’ the human engine. Without the ‘spark’ nothing runs. It’s like a car for instance, there’s a fine engine under the hood but without that ‘spark’ it will not start. It’s like when an elderly person deals with the loss of their significant other and they lose that ‘spark’ to live and their ‘engine’ dies shortly thereafter. Just my thoughts. Then again I’m not a neurosurgeon or in any fields of study regarding the brain or the mind, I just go by my simply experiencing life around me.
    Thank you Paul for your latest post and it is simply great to have you back!
    My take on the ‘home’ topic is that connection with everyone in the universe and beyond, feeling oneness…is home… it’s not material
    Hi everyone…xocarol

  • By hilly, February 3, 2011 @ 12:59 am

    welcome back from me too kroselynn

    The ‘spark of life’ …yes. I’m thinking spark plugs in the motor of my being (oh boy does that sound Newagebabble or what?!)

    someone else said that their idea of ‘home’ is ‘heaven’ – and why not? the ultimate safe haven whatever you believe in. Call it Heaven or Nirvana it’s the end of the journey – it’s home

  • By hilly, February 3, 2011 @ 2:26 am

    PS….medial imagery shows that when the brain is working there are ‘sparks’ from the neurones so the idea isn’t as far-fetched as we may think.

  • By eggnoggon, February 3, 2011 @ 2:26 pm

    If life is the direction home then how ingenious or on the tougher days how the signposts.

  • By eggnoggon, February 3, 2011 @ 2:30 pm

    Take II

    If life is the direction home then how ingenious or on the tougher days how amusing the signposts.

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 3, 2011 @ 4:25 pm

    Hi, we’re all talking about., Whence come the feelings, the mind., The heart, but all are born equal. The brain is pure. When we started trancito life, one, accumulating experiences, ways of life, we’re making our character, our way of seeing things, everyone can feel. or think, have feelings, pain, joy, is the passing of life, we will lead the way, but which way forward? That is the question, do their homework well, or regular, a feeling, when I’m in love I feel butterflies in my stomach., as this is, if in my mind, but also in my body, are a whole body . a soul, a spirit the body is the shell that covers our soul., and the spirit is as we are, happy, sad, enterprising, optimistic, pessimistic (a question) who has not sense in it, a connection with expecial someone, where does that feeling,? happens to me, it’s like my soul and my spirit is linked to that person, the mind, heart, what is it? I think it is love that prompts us to have these connections, and I’m not talking about people who are near me, are miles apart, but no distance for love? , No.rotundamente not, and in this blog for me is very important, every one, conveys his thoughts, feelings, and Mr. Glaser has., For me., A beautiful way of saying his thoughts, I greatly enriched my life so thank you very much Paul. to share part of his life, much love for you. God bless you. (sorry if my English is not understood, the fault of the translator) with love Hilda

  • By Nadine, February 3, 2011 @ 11:27 pm

    Je ne peux ” plus ” répondre aux pensées de Paul le traducteur n’est pas capable de traduire un long commentaire ! les paroles ne sont pas les mêmes ! je suis très déçue .
    Il y a aussi ces disputes sur ce blog qui ne me donnent plus envie de placer un commentaire !
    Je suis désolée Paul de ne pas comprendre votre langue , désolée de ne pas pouvoir participer sur votre blog qui me met de la joie au coeur à chaque fois que vous postez ” vos pensées “.
    Tout ce que je peux vous dire à toutes et tous es que mon coeur est triste ! triste d’avoir perdu Maria . Triste pour une de mes amies qui vient de se faire opérer d’une tumeur au cerveau , elle ne va pas bien !
    J’aime ce blog ! j’aime vous retrouver toutes et tous !
    Bisous je vous aime!!!!!

  • By hilly, February 4, 2011 @ 12:21 am

    Nadine, je t’envois une traduction des pensées par e-mail dans la journée.

    Nadine says (amongst other things) that the disputes on the blogs make her unwilling to contribute.

    So let’s try to accept what others say without throwing personal narrow definitions of ‘the truth’ in people’s faces!
    We all have the right to believe what we wish to. We all have the right to challenge and question the beliefs of others (that’s how we learn about them) but no one belief is ‘right’ and I suggest that if you can’t accept that you don’t contribute to the discussions.

  • By hilly, February 4, 2011 @ 12:33 am

    done it Pam – and updated my profile but how do I get the avatar here?

  • By Christine, February 4, 2011 @ 2:35 am

    Hi Amy aka Saskia, Thank you for getting the pic on for me no idea how these things work!!!.

    Hi Pam M, Thanks for that it looks so nice now!.

    Hi Hilly, it’s Amy here on my mam’s account, to get your pic on once you have either signed into that gavatar website or signed in using the word press thingy, pick the picture you want and it will update all your accounts, then when you want it on here, log out of the blog then log back in, using your normal username and password, then it updates!! Happy blogging :) x

  • By hilly, February 4, 2011 @ 4:06 am

    tried that. It told me that my password wasn’t good (but it’s the only one I’ve got!) So I checked if I was signed up – and of course I am; So I asked for a new password….and it still refuses to recognize me. I signed up again under another name…maybe if I try checking in here with that? here goes…BRB!

  • By hilly, February 4, 2011 @ 4:09 am


    PS sorry to all those who don’t like digressions!

  • By fee, February 4, 2011 @ 4:18 am

    GRRRRRR!!!! I got the same story. Gravatar wouldn’t let me in as Fee (too short a name!)so I reverted to my full name and had to find another password. It says the same user name and password is supposed to be the same for both sites!!! Pam!!! Help!!!! You started all this dear!

    Same as Hilly, I apologise for the digression from the topic.

  • By fee, February 4, 2011 @ 4:22 am

    I don’t believe it!!! It worked!! Slinking off thinking murderous thoughts about computers. Hopefully by tomorrow I shall have my head together enough to comment on this very interesting topic Paul. Nice to see you back.

  • By Softly, February 4, 2011 @ 5:47 am

    What the caterpillar calls the end of the world the master calls a butterfly.

    I can fly

  • By hilly, February 4, 2011 @ 7:43 am

    not for me and not for Nadine either. Pam help!

  • By hilly, February 4, 2011 @ 7:43 am

    PS…softly – I love that quote

  • By hilly, February 4, 2011 @ 12:11 pm

    I’ve done that Pam….and when they reply I’ll translate the instructions for Nadine.

    tee hee gives me time to get a new photo I suppose

  • By Kate, February 4, 2011 @ 12:26 pm

    Hello Mr Glaser,

    It’s a first time I post on this blog, and I read your previous theme that really fascinated me. That’s why I decide to participate because this topic is interesting.

    There in this particular case you put a problem “find your way home”. But in what field ? The faith, the personal life ?
    If my analysis is good, it would be here about our life choices. You said : “Home is our reason for being, our truth”. In what is it our reason for being our truth ? Do we choose the life which we lead ? We all have a destiny which draws our life line and with it we have a brain to allow us to act and a mind to think about our acts. Both which one has most power ? The brain or the mind ?
    If I go back to what you write, the mind to an insatiable need for control. But if the brain is not exists, do we still would have the mind to control all our actions ? The brain is a living organ while the mind (even if we know that it exists) is abstracted in a way.
    Nevertheless, both are indispensable.
    The mind is what ? This is not the soul ? When we die we often hear that the soul stays. Thus the mind exists well and truly !
    To return to your text, you speak about control, that the mind control everything. But after the death that happens there ? So nobody knows yet !
    And then, you often evoke in your comments the word “control”. We can always control itself even by being angry for example. When we are in the phase of anger how do we react ? We cry, we shout, we want to break everything (but it does not always) and sometimes hit somebody without really meaning to. It is the feeling of frustration that we invaded with regard to something or somebody who hurts us. Is it really the mind which guides our actions ?
    Not sure ! I think that the mind is the supplement which helps the brain in all that we make and feels.
    But, from there to say that we are powerless in front of all the manifestations mental as the depression, anger, obsession, possession, would mean that our consciousness and, or our subconcious do not play any more their role of mental safety, thus the loss of self-control !
    And there I let you imagine the rest !

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 4, 2011 @ 3:26 pm

    that have the photo in the blog., is the only picture that I am. here I am, with Hernan Piquín. an Argentine artist., after a dance class, only passing through here, to this comment , I love you

  • By carol4spot, February 4, 2011 @ 5:44 pm

    Softly, love your quote. I guess I’m official now with my avatar! Ha, creative, huh? xocarol

  • By carol4spot, February 4, 2011 @ 6:57 pm

    Why thank you! haha…maybe I’ll change it eventually but for now it’s what I want because I love animals and especially dalmations..xocarol

  • By Pam Meserve, February 4, 2011 @ 8:03 pm

    Gonna ‘change your spots’, eh! Well, that is one of the purposes grow, learn, change what you want about yourself!

  • By carol4spot, February 4, 2011 @ 9:03 pm

    How about I keep my spots, just rearrange them a little! Ha! xoxo

  • By hilly, February 5, 2011 @ 1:02 am

    love the spots Carol but I see more than 4 (tee hee)

    I translated PMG’s thought for this thread for Nadine and as I did so I realized yet again how difficult it is to render into another language those little plays on words like “my self” rather than “myself” (re-member is a real problem that IMO the translator of ‘Conversations with God’ can’t find a less than clumsy version of which is why I found it hard to get through! – but that’s beside the point).
    When I was translating ‘feelings’ I had to think in terms of 2 possibilities: sensation and sentiment. We ‘feel’ things physically and that is where much of the discussion above has gone when dealing with ‘the mind’ and whether or not it ‘feels’. but we also “feel” sentiments and/or emotions (are they exactly the same? And then there’s this one : ‘I have a feeling that…’ meaning ‘I think that….’. Neither an ‘emotion’ nor a physical thing and not really a sentiment – more an intuition.
    And all that left me mulling around it all over again.

    Then I came to the last line. Oh boy…those three words have these different translations:
    I can float in I know how to float
    I can float…as in I allow myself to float
    I can float….or not as the case may be
    I can float…I have the option of floating and take it (not quite the same as allowing myself to float)

    So can I (that’s me, Hilly) float? Ah? Well yes I can lie on my back in water and not sink. I can choose to be drifted along with the tide – but my instinct is to swim. I can relax and let the ideas flow over and around me while I observe them and decide which eddy to flow in the stream. I can do all these things but the real question is ‘am I ready to do so?’ or even ‘how willing am I to do so?’

    Kate posed a very good point when she asked do we have to know everything? No, we don’t; I’d go as far as to say we can’t. I am not a scientist. In the past I have had to study anatomy and neurology and neuro-anatomy at the basic level needed for my (at the time) chosen career. Since then in the course of my working life I’ve had the structure and basic functioning of a nuclear reactor explained to me…..believe me I wish I did not know!
    But I also seek to find the ‘answers’ to my questions about life. I want to ‘know it all’ as it affects meand my path on this journey of life. It’s like driving in a foreign country – I need to know what the symbols on the traffic signs mean.
    To me that is the “insatiable need” and by extension that need is one for control – a control over my personal route in the journey. I don’t want to take too many wrong turns (I’ve chosen the wrong path in the woods too often); I don’t want to run up against a dead end….as opposed to the end in death. I would prefer (wouldn’t we all) that the road is not too bumpy and straight enough to navigate without too many hassles. And so I have an insatiable need to control my route map.
    An insatiable need to control is , for me at least, an insatiable need to now because I believe that only I can control my destiny/fate/fill in the word you prefer. I don’t believe in a greater power deciding for me – or even putting the options in my way. I believe that I am here and that this is not my first time around (don’t know how many times I have been here and can’t know when it will be the last)and I believe that by my choices based on my learning about the world around me (spiritual and physical) I influence my journey. And so I need to know and to control through that knowledge.
    But that is my choice….others may decide to float with the current and let the stream take them without question. So I float about on the stream finding the next current to follow – paddling over to take a closer look at that leaf and maybe grabbing the odd branch to hitch a ride and learn something new; sometimes I swim, sometimes I float.

    One thing I do believe…one thing that seems to me to be obvious: however we choose to use the stream we all come to the same destination….death (and/or an afterlife or a new life) and maybe as Kroselynn said – that is what home is all about

  • By hilly, February 5, 2011 @ 1:44 am

    oops – had to wait for my anti-virus to stop scannning – I see my mast line didn’t copy paste:

    To float is not to drift

  • By Christine, February 5, 2011 @ 5:08 am

    Hi Hilly, Goodness me its hard enough to understand the meaning in English let alone French!!. There we go with translations/meanings again; but do we read it as Paul means it?. Do any of us write and are understood as we mean it?. Different individuals, different lines of thought……..get my drift? ;)

  • By Raffy, February 5, 2011 @ 8:20 am

    Hilly, I think it is always difficult to translate into another language, and even more in my opinion when a language into which we try to translate is not inside our “cells” since our birth, or even before it. Yet there are words, as it is for “feelings” that need an interpretation from the reader independently from the language. And this speaks so much about us as human beings and our similarity. Of course a translation is always a sort of interpretation, a sort of “journey”…it helps deepen the writer’s view and ours, but at the same time it requires to be humble enough in order to use words, especially in some points, that should remain in need of some interpretation by the reader of the translation, as it did the original writer himself.
    “I can float”… I “felt” here much more than a personal “I can”… I felt it referring as to “I, human being, can….”
    I like very much this …”floating” . It is a deep need… this ongoing experience of letting ourselves float, without a beginning, without an end…breathing, feeling, knowing, just “being”. All is there already, the same and never the same.
    That spiritual energy floating with us and among us all and the whole universe is there for us to breathe it… in that point where the “thought becomes matter”.
    It helps us know what love is…

    By Hilly “others may decide to float with the current and let the stream take them without question”…
    That is an interesting point… people who decide to float don’t have questions. Maybe this can be extended to people who “believe” in some… “God”. I don’t think so. Life is a work “in progress”, and so it is to believe in whatever God… faith is never the same either. To “float” is such a difficult thing because questions are mostly the obsessive pursue of our mind in need of control I think, so to float is a day by day challenge, and it does not mean in my opinion not to ask questions, but rather to come to know what ignorance is… that lack in understanding our mind’s process of attachment to impermanent things.
    The acceptance of what is happening is not a mere resignation I think, but much more, it is letting the Higher Self experience itself through us, and in that moment we become one with the unknown…and we “know” in that moment.
    By Hilly…“one thing that seems to me to be obvious: however we choose to use the stream we all come to the same destination….death”
    But… “who” dies?? In the meanwhile for sure we have to struggle with our fear and helplessness…


  • By hilly, February 5, 2011 @ 9:09 am

    Raffy: yes I totally agree about the difficulty of translating – and it cuts both ways. I often read a book in both my languages – or watch a movie/the TV. And (leaving aside the problem of lipsynching which makes for a whole world of other variations on the translation)I am often struck by how little ‘in the cells’ understanding of language some translators have. They have a good technical knowledge of the languages but no ‘feeling’ for them.

    oops there we go again ‘feeling’?!

    In other words – no matter how well the translator uses the target language and the original language, if they don’t have a deeper understanding of language itself (the linguistic process that transcends languages) and of how to use a dictionary the translation gets skewed very quickly. I have seen excellent but ‘clunky’ translations (again I’m thinking of the french version of “Conversations with God”) that in some way miss the crux of the text because of the difficulties the original presents – and re-membering/remembering is a perfect example.
    French is my 2nd language – but when I need to think around a word I understand the original well enough to find the right definition in my french dictionary and thesaurus….and that’s where some translators miss it IMO. but then there are native speakers of all languages who will latch to the first definition in a dictionary and therefore misuse a word (what I call when ‘beta reading’ an attack of bigworditis…the writer hopes that the chosen word is impressive…it would be if it were the right one! It’s that syndrome known as Haigspeak…a spade becomes a ‘digging implement’)
    An example. There is a new french translation (version?) of The Great Gatsby and it has sparked of a big row. First because it is just titled ‘Gatsby’ and not “Gatsby le Magnificent’ (the title given when it was first translated) but also because it uses expressions that are more contemporary to modern readers…is that right? I think not. Gatsby was written in 1925 so the translations should be in keeping with the vocabulary of 1925. As for the title…I’m not sure that I would have chosen the original option – to me Gatsby was ‘great’ in Nick’s eyes…and not necessarily magnificent!
    To me it is like rewriting Shakespeare
    ” -Hey Juliet what’s happening girl!
    -Romeo is that you? Why did you have to be from the wrong family for my folks?”
    Doesn’t work does it?
    come to think of it – making a movie of a book is a translation. Robert Redford was never my idea of Gatsby! Too smooth for my idea of Gatsby who was one step from a conman after all.

    ‘translation’ has a double meaning after all. the rendering of one language into another AND the transition from one situation to another. The movie Lost in Translation used that play on words – Bill Murray’s character was “lost” (in the sense of disoriented)by his transfer to another country and at the same time words and meanings got ‘lost’ as they were translated.
    All translators have to interpret (from one language to another AND get the meaning). That brings even more problems to the table!

    Raffy again : In dying am I the one who ceases or is it the world around methat ceases for me while I go on to another stage in my journey in another “world”?

    And finally – yes I agree; floating isn’t easy…you need to keep some control to stop yourself sinking. Which is why I added the qualification : to float is not to drift. Drifting is passive; it requires no control, it requires no questioning.

  • By hilly, February 5, 2011 @ 9:11 am

    sorry that got ‘lost in translation’ from Word (grrr I prefer Open Office – should have used it!) to here.
    I originally quoted Raffy’s question “who dies” before giving my interpretation of an answer.

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 5, 2011 @ 9:58 am

    eggnoggen: If life is the direction home then how ingenious or on the tougher days how amusing the signposts.

    True, but we feel and then figure out our own signposts. If we wish to come ‘home’ to heaven, for instance, we determine that by choice. Everything is our own interpretation, even our idea/ideal of home.

  • By Raffy, February 5, 2011 @ 11:02 am

    by Hilly “floating isn’t easy…you need to keep some control to stop yourself sinking”…
    I would say instead that we have to lose the “control” in order to stop sinking…and to re-connect to that body of light and love…

  • By hilly, February 5, 2011 @ 3:23 pm

    think I just got stuck in a whirpool!

    Infidelabumpkin (may I call you IB for short I know I’m going to mis-type that sometime!)…I like that thinking. The signs are there for us to see – or ignore after all. Driving home from buying wine today I came through a village with big ‘road blocked ahead’ signs. But I knew that is is Saturday and they don’t work on the roads on Saturday so I could be pretty sure that the road isn’t blocked….and it wasn’t. I chose to risk ignoring the signs and sometimes we do that in life – by accident or by design.
    “Two paths in the wood”….etc the signs are there – one well-trodden the other not….so why did I choose the one I did?

  • By kroselynn, February 5, 2011 @ 8:34 pm

    Hey guys! Thanks for all the warm welcome backs but I really didn’t go anywhere, I just haven’t had anything to say for a while….But, seriously, I appreciate the welcomes, they made me smile.

    So on to the reason for this post:
    I think I just figured something out.

    Enlightenment and Truth are the same thing as Nirvana and Heaven/Home.

    Enlightenment, Truth, Nirvana, Heaven, and Home are all the same exact thing.

    I like that thought.
    Is it true?

    And if it is, which comes first?

    By that I mean:
    Do we have to reach Home before we are Enlightened and know Truth? Or do we have to be Enlightened before we can reach Home?

    Is God a synonym for Enlightenment, Truth, Home, Nirvana and Heaven?

  • By hilly, February 6, 2011 @ 1:37 am

    Enlightenment, Truth, Nirvana, Heaven, Home…yes I think they are all the same goal.

    Do we have to reach Home before we are Enlightened and know Truth? Or do we have to be Enlightened before we can reach Home?

    I’m tempted to cook another chicken omelet here! but yes, I suspect (I feel?) that when we have found that which we are seeking in our spiritual journey we attain Enlightement/Truth/Nirvana/Heaven and therefore reach our home (or that which is home on this journey)
    AND it seems to me that the feeling of security that the concept of ‘Home’ brings is the final stage of reaching Enlightenment (et al).

    so Is God a synonym for Enlightenment, Truth, Home, Nirvana and Heaven
    Yes – the definition depends on what you believe and how you believe it. Whether we have chosen a particular manifestation of ‘God’ and a chosen form of ‘Faith’ or whether we have decided that there is no ‘God’ or whether we have decided that ‘yes I am willing to accept a concept of ‘god/gods’ but I don’t believe in any definition of ‘god/gods’; whatever we have taken as our route, when we reach the destination we are there at one with all who have attained their goal….however they got there. So yes, I think they are synonyms.

  • By Raffy, February 6, 2011 @ 3:56 am

    I think life is a process, and so conditioned by the needs of our mind and body, and we can’t ever be sure that what we feel is “enlightenment”, is “home”. There could be always something ahead, beyond. What we feel is always subjective I guess, and depending on to many relative things and emotional states. But just in that moment when we let ourselves think that we are “enlightened”, and it is a very human thing, we are stopping this process. This thirst for “enlightenment” is in my opinion one of the most important things to be recognized and from which to find some “detachment”, for it not to become another way of our mind to gain control.

    To find our way home…“the only conscious choice we have in this life”. How true it is and the only process which gives a meaning to our helplessness itself. And how true that “losing the need to control” is so directly related to our sense of belonging and peace with it. It is good that our mind can’t have control over the reason of our human condition. We can use our mind differently. Maybe it is there for us to choose that dimension beyond it. To let us see that we… are.

  • By hilly, February 6, 2011 @ 9:22 am

    There could be always something ahead, beyond.

    Is this why we have ‘hope’?

  • By hilly, February 7, 2011 @ 3:56 am

    Someone (winks at a lurker and hopes she will rejoin the exchanges here) pointed out to me offline how often some people seem to make ‘mind’ and ‘soul’ the same thing. She asked me if I saw it that way because I believe in reincarnation. Well first off, I believe in the possiblity of reincarnation and I’m pretty sure (from a personal experience) that I’ve been here before. But as I don’t think we have a recollection of it and that our mind goes into a new phase…my jury is sitting on the fence.
    So in one sense yes I think in terms of some migration of the ‘soul’. But the ‘soul’ is not the ‘mind’ in my way of seeing it. I believe that the mind is an unavoidable part of the brain’s function (our cognitive process)- it is thought, reflection and awareness. To me the ‘soul’ is a function of an optional part of our cognitive process… a product of imagination, created by those who need to believe in that inner ‘spirit’ than can migrate to another being or go ‘ahead’ to heaven (or hell?) or that manifests the meaning of existence in terms of faith.
    I don’t think I can exist without my mind…but I do think I can exist without a ‘soul’. (some of my friends can stop sniggering now; that was with a small’s'!)
    But that opens up a whole new danger of misinterpretation. The expression ‘soul-less’ is often used to mean ‘without any atmosphere (ambiance). Personally I find that ridiculous (like saying a house has ‘character’) – atmosphere is what we bring to our surroundings (a house is just a building until the person living in it stamps his her style on it.)
    Or people use it to mean ‘without feeling’..oh oh…’cold’ ‘heartless’ ‘unemotional’. But aren’t they contradicting their own terms there? If someone is described as ‘heartless’ or ‘unemotional’ isn’t the describer endowing them with a negative emotion?

    or take ‘mindless’ – usually used to mean unthinking. Well someone who indulges in a ‘mindless prank’ may be thought of as ‘the heart and soul of the party’…..

    go figure

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 7, 2011 @ 5:43 am

    kroselynn: Do we have to reach Home before we are Enlightened and know Truth? Or do we have to be Enlightened before we can reach Home?

    Is God a synonym for Enlightenment, Truth, Home, Nirvana and Heaven?

    my take is that we do not have to reach home before we are so-called ‘enlightened’ because being here and now,we have God with us/within us and if we ‘know’ this we feel that nothing really matters as great as the thought that love (God is love) is with us as we journey through this life. you may not ‘feel’ this is ‘home’ but if u can feel God who is love, then you know that you are loved… and you can take comfort in that which is ‘YOUR’ truth.

    no, i do not think God is a synonym for nirvana,enlightenment or heaven. God encompasses all those terms. God was, is and will be while we are here and now. God is love and that ‘love part’ of God is what is inside each of us. it is recognizing it that makes us feel at ‘home’ right now as we walk through our lives. some even say that God is the totality of love. i think if we love we have God in the here and now.

  • By Raffy, February 7, 2011 @ 6:20 am

    by Hilly “Is this why we have ‘hope’?”

    Yes, maybe…
    And also because of that helplessness itself we feel. We need some hope.
    There is also another kind of hope… I remember this sentence by Paul:

    “Our ability to experience the purest feeling of love gives us our understanding of faith…(that this ‘place,’ this one-ness exists), and that remembered feeling gives us patience and hope”.

    Maybe if we really experienced the reality of love, then hope would be only a result of it, helping us going through this difficult journey and whispering us that life is worth our efforts…

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 7, 2011 @ 6:36 am

    raffy: it is usually when we face helpless situations that we ‘learn to accept’ things as they are.. this state relaxes us because.. we learn to let go and accept everything. it is , i guess at that point when we find hope without looking for it and things do get better when we ‘let go’. i agree w/ you.

  • By hilly, February 7, 2011 @ 9:47 am

    I don’t think I could ‘let go’ if I were feeling helpless – I’d need to grab at the straw that is hope.
    But when we can finally let go – knowing that we’ve found the right current without a straw or a rope or a lifebelt…then we let go.
    but we do not abandon hope….not like Dante:

    Through me you pass into the city of woe:
    Through me you pass into eternal pain:
    Through me among the people lost for aye.

    Justice the founder of my fabric mov’d:
    To rear me was the task of power divine,
    Supremest wisdom, and primeval love.

    Before me things create were none, save things
    Eternal, and eternal I endure.
    All hope abandon ye who enter here.

    Such characters in colour dim I mark’d
    Over a portal’s lofty arch inscrib’d:
    Whereat I thus: Master, these words import.

  • By Christine, February 7, 2011 @ 12:06 pm

    Isn’t it ‘hope’ that gives us whatever strength we have?. The ‘hope’ that things will get better, clinging onto hope when all seems lost?. Living in hope? of whatever we yearn and quite literally hope for?.
    When all our hope is lost, when awful things happen in our lives; its that sense of one day waking up to feel alive again?. Depression? when for various reasons one feels lost, alone, and misunderstood is it not hope that is always there like an old friend waiting to boost us back up again?. Paul talks about a ‘part’ of us that doesn’t feel that bad at all at times, is this the part of us where the hope comes flooding in to help and to strengthen again?.
    Its quite interesting how resilient we are as humans. How we can at points in our lives feel we will never cope. We feel that helpless feeling of being unable to see ahead, but looking back on our lives we can and will realize we have gone through this once before, we have been at this low point and survived and hopefully this then gives us the strength and hope to continue forward.
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, February 7, 2011 @ 1:50 pm

    You know I always thought that Saul/Paul of Tarsus got it wrong when he wrote:Faith, hope and and the greatest of these is . I think the greatest is Hope. Without Hope there can be no Faith (however you define and use the word); without Hope there is no because hope is an ingredient in the desire to make things better for the world.

    Hope…definitely the greatest of the 3 IMO

  • By Raffy, February 7, 2011 @ 2:25 pm

    By Hilly “the mind is an unavoidable part of the brain’s function (our cognitive process)- it is thought, reflection and awareness. To me the ‘soul’ is a function of an optional part of our cognitive process… a product of imagination, created by those who need to believe in that inner ‘spirit’ than can migrate to another being or go ‘ahead’ to heaven (or hell?) or that manifests the meaning of existence in terms of faith.”

    As I said in a previous post, I think the mind is a part, an expression of the human nature, so in my opinion it is not the cognitive process itself, but that part of us that drives it to that sense of “separateness” we experience. The “soul” is for me what we experience once we are able little by little to see this process of our mind. We find out the “self”…it is that part of us which really “is”, and when we feel it, then we experience the insubstantiality of our ego…

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 7, 2011 @ 9:15 pm

    Hi all, Raffy, what you think, is that today you live, you have a body and mind, and when you die, you finish everything, because then, for us in this world is that we are vegging, I get up, desayuno.trabajo., I would not want to, I have anger, I have no anger, well conditioned, I think we are here, with a proposito.dando a test, find their way within, to become better people, if everyone thinks we have a body and mind, that person can perform the worst atrocities, I believe in Jesus, and he is my light, my way, and I live today. I press toward the goal for all is what I think and believe we have a soul, an energy, whatever you say, and that soul, or energy has a way, I want my soul to the light, God, our creator, Raffy, floats, flies, elevate, look in your Inside, look at your sides, and see the wonders that God gives us, for that we are., to give love, be love, God is love. be genuine, be people of integrity, not only honest, two words very different, we have to be light today and tomorrow. do not know, and if I wake up more, if God has so that is why the importance of today, leave the past, leave the things that hurt us to live without resentment, if recalling the past, we can not erase, but if, assimilate lessons learned, and above all things love, you are love., so, we float, fly, Let us rise, everything is within us and around us., I love you all, love. Hilda (Sorry, for my English,)

  • By hilly, February 7, 2011 @ 11:24 pm

    yes Raffy I see your point but I still can’t see how the soul can exist without it being ‘thought of’. If someone is brain dead do they no longer have a ‘soul’?
    you said “The “soul” is for me what we experience once we are able little by little to see this process of our mind.
    So (forgive me if I’m mis-reading you) you still think that the ‘soul’ exists only when the ‘mind’ is aware of it. In my reading that makes it a part of a cognitive process – conscious or not. In my reading (again) I would go further and say that you are defining the ‘soul’ as I would define the ‘spirit’ – a deep inner part of my me that will continue with me in another life even if I’m not aware of it being the same. Whereas it seems to me that for many the ‘soul’ is some kind of independent entity that leaves the body and goes to ‘heaven’ when the body is dead…mine is a soul/spirit that ‘lingers on’ and finds another body in order to finish its journey.

    Haven’t had breakfast – got to go for blood tests – hope that makes sense

  • By Raffy, February 8, 2011 @ 1:33 am

    I guess, Hilly, that the soul exists whether we think of it or not. In my opinion it is not a creation of our thinking. If one is brain dead the soul still exists, if I mean“soul” what you call “spirit”, however the “self” is for me not exactly a deep inner part of ourselves (that our mind could have created), but an expression of the Everything expressing itself through our being. On this earth we experience the “mind”, maybe a chance we have in order to choose our oneness with all through love (we are here to discover), coming by the release from the mind itself. I agree with Paul, and I guess that one of the best ways to help this process develop is just by watching our mind “at work”…and not to identify ourselves with it.
    After death I think that part of us will keep living in that plain of life it needs to experience, not necessarily on this earth again. I think there are many plains of life and different kinds of “body”…

    …And this “body” needs a coffee now!

  • By hilly, February 8, 2011 @ 3:49 am

    this body’s one up on yours Raffy – just finished the coffee pot!
    I see where you are coming from now and I think we have much the same thing in mind but give it a different definition. ‘in mind’…see we can’t escape it can we?
    I also agree with Paul that it is by watching the process – and learning from it too perhaps that we can move on and finally attain that state of oneness. Through love? Yes…love of ourselves (not as easy as we might think) love of those around us…but not (for me at least) a blanket love bestowed on those who would never return the compliment because they are too entrenched in their ‘truths’. Compassion for them? Perhaps – inasmuch as one can feel positively towards them – but there is a danger of tingeing that compassion with ‘pity’ – a sentiment that I find entirely empty and self-seeking in those who bestow it (but then again that’s my interpretation of it.)
    I don’t think we (as in we=humankind) can ever achieve a “oneness through love” because there are too many people who prefer to retain their personal blinkers and are incapable of reaching out to those who don’t think inside their box.
    And TBH I wouldn’t want to be one with them anyway. Not in this life and not in any other.

    Self – to my mind (my spirit?) self includes more than just that inner being. It is defined as well by the conditioning of our lives and by our physical attributes. My self is not, however, myself…and at the risk of sounding flip:
    My self is me myself personally speaking; whereas myself if is me and me alone.

    I think I’ll make another pot of coffee – it’s a good arabica Italian roast – want a cup?

  • By Raffy, February 8, 2011 @ 5:57 am

    For what I think “compassion” is not “pity” or even simple “sympathy”, they are both feelings we experience so much in our lives. And many times they are only an expression of our egoistic needs in the end.
    Compassion is a lifetime process where first we try to recognize the root of our suffering in the impermanence we experience as human beings, and then we realize how we all are struggling with it, constantly sliding into the many reactions to that sense of impermanence itself. We can come to feel that real sense of similarity with our fellow human beings (not as easy as it could appear) , and that desire to get rid of this suffering ourselves and others too. This is in my opinion the greatest way we have to really see ourselves and others beyond the barriers we build and walk towards unconditional love…
    It is not a passive situation…but a day by day sooo hard but active process. Even if we don’t see others willing to do it, the same we should try it ourselves…the energy spreads anyway.

    I had an Italian expresso just now!

  • By hilly, February 8, 2011 @ 8:09 am

    No, compassion and pity and sympathy are not the same, I quite agree. If anything ‘compassion’ is an empathic thing. In a way it is more in the vein of ‘kindness’ and sometimes the old adage of ‘you have to be cruel to be kind’ applies. In order to arrive at compassion for oneself (and by extension for others…or more to the point with others) we need to be frank with ourselves – see the bare essentials and accept them. That is when the mind has to work overtime to rise above its desires, its fantasies and accept its needs and our personal reality. And that is a long hard journey; a dual journey in some ways because until we can accept ourselves and others as we/they are and not as we/they want (them) to be we can’t overcome those desires and fantasies and arrive at some kind of unity – solidarity – oneness. We can’t love others until we learn to love ourselves….and that is not the same as giving in to our egos.
    It is a long tough journey which is why humankind has created a goal – a final haven – and called it ‘heaven’ or ‘nirvana’ or peace of mind. Peace of mind – a state in which we are secure and relaxed in the knowledge that all around us are feeling the same thing. That’s when we achieve oneness with the others.
    Well that’s my take on it for today – anyway.

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 8, 2011 @ 5:33 pm

    Hi all, compassion is feeling sorry for the wrongs of others, “and themselves., is to feel love., love your neighbor as yourself, I still think, that some of this compassion, the forgiveness, I felt pity, and feel compassion for my nines personas.que, sexually abused, to forgive, that’s love if they made it, is that they had problems, that is where one feels compassion for people, all this stay in my past, I have no rancor, it is difficult, is a process, but it helped me to forgive. was God, am a person who knows how to forgive, as I realize, when I remember what happened, and I do not feel oppression in my heart, I feel peace, peace in my heart, my soul. kisses to all, God bless, love Hilda

  • By hilly, February 9, 2011 @ 12:26 am

    maybe it was the translator’s lack of vocabulary but I don’t think ‘being sorry for’ is the right definition – that is ‘pity’…compassion is more (IMO) understanding and allowing for other people’s ‘wrongs’…if ‘wrongs is the right word. It is the awareness of where we all are in relation to one another….it is (to quote Oliver Cromwell when they painted his portrait) “warts and all”….accepting in every sense of the word.
    that’s how I see it. But I don’t believe it can be unilateral – if the other won’t accept ‘me’ with all my facets how can I accept him/her? If we can’t find that compassionate understanding we can’t be share in the untity of peace and harmony that is ‘oneness’. And until all ‘thought movements’ (religions/philosophies whatever) are ready to accept that they do not have a monopoly on ‘truth’ or ‘god’ that can never happen. That’s why I am an agnostic – I can accept the idea of a ‘god’ but not all the b/s that some want to enforce on others in ‘his’ (why not her?) name. Until we can attain that universal acceptance we can’t achieve ‘oneness’ and the world will continue to be the difficult place it is….and that raises a question in my mind – are we all, those of us on this planet at this time, at the same stage in the journey – will we all return to get another chance to move on? together? or will some move on and others find themselves in this same time and stage of the journey….I hope that those of us who are enlightened enough to see that there is more than one answer and definition…and are continually learning…will get that chance. As for the rest – well TBH if we leave them behind we’ll have more chance of getting to whatever we seek in the end

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 9, 2011 @ 12:36 pm

    Hilda said : ‘ God is love. be genuine, be people of integrity, not only honest, two words very different, we have to be light today and tomorrow. do not know, and if I wake up more, if God has so that is why the importance of today, leave the past, leave the things that hurt us to live without resentment, if recalling the past, we can not erase, but if, assimilate lessons learned, and above all things love, you are love., so, we float, fly, Let us rise, everything is within us and around us., I love you all, love. Hilda (Sorry, for my English,)’

    i think you are right. forgiving, loving, living in a whole process and every single minute is part of that process. God, indeed is love. how true that we do not know what can happen in the next minute or the next second… for instance, there were those who were in the great 2004 (?) tsunami who were simply at the beach, and then the tsunami struck. so i think what you mean is that while we are HERE , NOW is only what really matters. yes, be the ‘light’ TODAY. be good today.. this moment.. do something TODAY, this moment because we have no idea what can happen the next. thus, we can relax, and accept that we have no control over anything and if we see the sunset tomorrow, we can smile, simply because – we’re alive. please do not think that your english is ‘bad’.. go ahead and express yourself because i find your thoughts ‘good’, wise and sensible.
    to those who believe in jesus , he said something like do not worry about tomorrow (or basically relax) because worrying about it won’t add/solve anything… leave it to tomorrow to come (or not come) and take care of itself. after all, when one thinks about it, all this worrying and thinking about something that is either past or in the future only adds all the worries and tensions. we can live better lives and be better individuals (in our hearts) by throwing the past behind and squeezing the happiness and wonder we can enjoy every moment that we are on this journey. where we will go after>? i don’t know. but perhaps it is not for me to know either. we can only love now.

  • By Christine, February 9, 2011 @ 2:46 pm

    Hi infidelabumpkin, How very true. Worrying about the past, future or even now will not solve anything. Funny isn’t it how we worry to the point of making ourselves ill, when in reality it doesn’t do us any real good. I know this to be true as I come from a whole line of worriers. My mother and her mother were known for their worrying. Maybe its in the genes?. There are so many physical ailments that are caused because of stress. Logically knowing that worry solves nothing should prevent us from doing it but does it? No!. In all honesty we may try to stop it but it has a tendency to creep up on us and bang the worry starts again. Then it turns into feeling helpless and we contiue round in a complete circle. Sometimes logic just doesn’t come into things huh?.
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, February 10, 2011 @ 12:39 am

    How right you both are – there’s no point in worrying about the past and it is not a lot of point in worrying about the future either.
    But our past is part of our being – it has influenced where we are now and so, although worrying about it is useless, bearing it in mind as we make our way to the future is not a bad thing. We worry – or wonder – about our future. We draw on what we know from the past to get there and so, in some cases – and know this frequently is true for me – we allow the ‘worry’ of what we did/didn’t do in the past influence our interpretation of which path to take.
    And there’s Christine’s circle….the only logic in it is the ‘logic’ of our existence.

  • By hilly, February 10, 2011 @ 1:05 am

    PS still waiting for the courtesy of a reply from Gravatar’s so-called Customer Support service!

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 10, 2011 @ 8:32 am

    infidelabumpkin, thanks for your words, there are times that I feel., worried about something so simple, that the understand me, for my bad English, as I have to use the translator, “let us love, compassion, light, peace, God bless you all, we are beings of love light, follow this path, so beautiful, I love you, with all my heart. Hilda

  • By hilly, February 10, 2011 @ 8:37 am

    don’t worry Hilda – we understand you.

  • By JanetKCrafton, February 10, 2011 @ 2:17 pm

    Hello Paul, Pam and Everyone, I have been reading this blog for a few weeks. I can tell you all have a close relationship via the blog. Most of what is said is thought provoking, so I took time to think. I am, obviously, new to this. I hope you will allow me to be a part of your discussion and discovery. I found the blog site after following up a You Tube suggestion for entertainment. “This” is neither “entertainment” nor what I expected. It is worthy of staying and participating.

    I find myself now in a place that is changing faster than I am. So, I’m working hard to survive. What “Home” was and now is are very different. I’m getting divorced after 20 years which I didn’t plan. I am learning that “what I planned” is not what is. Who I am, is not who I thought I was. So “To Find My Way Home” is much different now. Still, the “idea” of “Home” remains. How I get there is a new and at times, scary. I agree, “The brain only thinks and does not feel”. Yet I feel so much now. At times that is a far better place than my heart or my soul and I’m not talking about the organ in my chest that pumps blood to keep me alive. To keep on moving, to stay on the journey to find “My Way Home” is hard, at times. To stay alive, is essential, so the organ in my chest needs to keep pumping. I need to become aware of the newness my lie now presents and embrace it rather than fear it. I remain with my mantra to “Never Give Up or Give In”. Yet, I find, in fact, I do “give up and give in” on ideas of myself and “Finding My Way Home”. Is not what is. It is not what I have believed in and hold dear. Now, “home” is not as safe as I believed in my mind and felt in my soul. It is scary and more alone. It questions me and I find myself questioning everything I do, say and feel. So embracing the new paths I find myself on isn’t easy. It is, however, what it is. I cannot allow my brain to over think it or I will get lost. I cannot allow myself over feel it or I will die. It remains. What I am now and ever changing, a course of its own. So the “The unknown, the ‘always-changing’ is an anathema to the mind because it cannot find an answer”. I will continue to try and survive as that is all I know, even when I must give up my previously held beliefs of whom I am and where I’m going. It is true that I need to “continue to believe”, so I will survive.

    That is all for now. I’ll be back with you later. Thanks, JanetK

  • By hilly, February 10, 2011 @ 11:44 pm

    I cannot allow my brain to over think it or I will get lost.

    Hi Janet.
    With the attitude you have you’ll come through this divorce just fine. Follow your instincts and tell your brain to take time out! That phrase is spot on…the moment we try to over rationalize things – we run into trouble.The great game is knowing where to find the balance.
    You are looking at two paths in the forest (maybe more?) right now…whichever one you take – step forward with confidence and you’ll get to where you want to be. It may only be short-term – a way-place on the longer journey – a change of train (of thought?) – but if it is where you fell right it will be where you should be.

  • By marly, February 11, 2011 @ 2:50 am

    Finding my way home…….

    What is “home?”
    How to define it?
    Where is “home?”
    The eagerness with which my mind tries to come up with interpretations and explanations!
    Should I approach this as an intellectual challenge and therefore do my utmost best to find the “right” answer(s) ?

    That’s what I would have done not too long ago but lately I am becoming more and more aware of the patterns I use over and over again to survive in this world of mine.
    Let’s try a different approach, called “honesty”.
    My approach to the(read “my”) world and towards the people around me is based on just a couple of scripts : the situations may differ but my insecurity, my fear of rejection and my fear of losing control all lead to me playing the same roles by using the same old scripts, repeating myself over and over again.
    Only recently I found the courage to look beyond those patterns of mine and face how much they influence my outlook on life and the way I relate to other people.
    Fear of rejection for example prevents me from stopping people outstretching my personal boundaries. Every time it happens I blame myself ánd the “trespassers” as well.
    Needless to say that it’s quite easy for me to feel victimized and very depressed at times.
    Now that I’m learning to become more aware, I can see more clearly where these patterns of mine originally came from.
    Can you really blame people for “taking advantage” from what you yourself are willingly offering in exchange for acceptance, respect, friendship or love?
    Was/is my anger towards those people(and indirectly towards myself) justified?
    Is my fear of rejection justified or just an worn pattern that over time has become a self fulfilling prophecy ?

    It is becoming more evident to me how past experiences have the power to color present situations in such a way that we don’t even realize that our “new” reactions stem from way back .
    So we keep on repeating these old reaction patterns and don’t understand(or deny) why we keep on running into the same concrete walls again and again.
    Thank god that we manage to come up with several quite acceptable theories!
    I got this great talent for finding all sorts of wrongs within myself in order to explain to myself why people reject me. So, surprise, surprise , I joined the society of perfectionists a long time ago and I’m also well schooled in pleasing almost everyone who crosses my path.
    I’m literally too good to be true but it takes up an enormous amount of energy and gradually, with almost no personal boundaries left, I start feeling completely drained.
    Well, I can blame myself for being such a fool and I can also complain about this cruel world which harbors so many people who are being unkind, insensitive, stupid, selfish, etc.

    It’s obvious that I’m being offered several choices:
    I can view myself as the eternal loser and accept this fate.
    I can view myself as a victim and view “the others” as the cause of my hardship( they are the enemy).
    By now I’m able to admit that I already know that these “choices” are unacceptable to me.
    Been there, tried that and it didn’t work.

    For me a different approach is in order.
    How can I ever be at home if I refuse to accept myself in the here and now?
    I can cling on to my past for all sorts of reasons but that’s denying that everything changes constantly.
    I am different from whom I was way back then and I’ll continue to change.
    I don’t need to keep on believing that I should outstretch my personal boundaries in return for acceptance (love).
    I don’t need to be afraid of “the others” now that I am starting to see that they’re just like me.
    Still my anger(fear) often prevents me from looking really close at my thoughts and at the way they manage to delude me in order to stop me from facing the real me.
    Home is already here, I only need to open my eyes.

    ‘There nothing to do, nothing to change, everything is perfect just as it is.’

    I thought I understood what Paul meant but up ‘till now I didn’t really…
    Hope I’m getting closer.
    It’s indeed a process.

    Have a good weekend,


  • By Christine, February 11, 2011 @ 7:30 am

    Hi Marly, What a very interesting post. I found myself nodding with the things you wrote. Perhaps we all get into the habit of dealing with life/people in a certain way. A well tried and tested path if you like.
    Its hard to change the way we handle things. The familiar is all so cosy and comforting, to change is to take a leap of faith and hope things work out better.
    Reading your comments just made me realize how we are all the same. We all have our own ways of getting through this life but as Paul has said we all want the same thing. Just different ways of getting there.
    I hope you have a good weekend too.
    Best wishes,

  • By Christine, February 11, 2011 @ 7:32 am

    Oh and welcome JanetK its nice to see a new blogger.
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, February 11, 2011 @ 8:25 am

    Marly so many of the things you said have been echoing around my head all day.
    How can I ever be at home if I refuse to accept myself in the here and now?
    I can cling on to my past for all sorts of reasons but that’s denying that everything changes constantly.
    I am different from whom I was way back then and I’ll continue to change.
    I don’t need to keep on believing that I should outstretch my personal boundaries in return for acceptance (love).
    I don’t need to be afraid of “the others” now that I am starting to see that they’re just like me.
    Still my anger(fear) often prevents me from looking really close at my thoughts and at the way they manage to delude me in order to stop me from facing the real me.
    Home is already here, I only need to open my eyes.

    I’m sitting here having a bad day trying to see how my life can pan out. Clinging to the past as not the way to go forward – but at the same time my past is hitting at every turn. My past is what got me where I am now – for better or worse – and it is part of what is holding me back – not by my choice but by the choice of those who can influence my future. What do I mean by that? Simple – my CV doesn’t fit’ into the narrow tramlines of the job market. I go for a job for which I’m qualified but the other careers in my past interfere with the picture. I can’t erase those years from my CV….I can’t force a recruiter to think outside the box. there’s nothing I can do about 8 irrelevant years on my CV. I used to say ‘wasted years’ but they weren’t – I learnt a lot of stuff in the studying and the practice of the wrongly chosen career so it wasn’t wasted; but it is not ‘relevent’ to the jobs I want now. Since then I’ve added other strings to my bow (another degree – ah but in History and Cultural Studies ‘no use’ in the business world – except that my mind was trained to interpret information!); a professional qualification here in France….that’s fine but now I’m up against ageism – at 55 I’m supposed to be running with my arms wide open towards a ridiculously early retirement age…I’m not, I can’t afford to and I wouldn’t want to if I could.
    And so even if I don’t want to dwell on my past it is forced on me.
    I can and do believe in my capacity to go forward – but my past(in the context of a recruiter’s view of my CV) is a dead weight that can only hold me back. Those recruiters with their narrow ideas of which diploma you should have for the job (and in France believe me if they could quibble over the typeface on the diploma some of them would!)can’t see that I am a different person from the starry-eyed idiot who thought she was going to have a career in what turned out to be a thankless dead-end suitable only for those women biding their time to find ‘Mr. Right’…I’ve learnt new skills and all kinds of stuff – but that diploma is all they see.
    And no matter how optimistic I try to be; no matter how much I know what I am capable of and what I could do with the ‘right job’ I can’t see how I can get there. And that makes my future very dark and scary.

  • By marly, February 11, 2011 @ 2:20 pm

    Dear Hilly,

    I have been reading your comment.
    I understand your fear for the future.
    (In this time and age recruiters indeed seem to think that you’re “old” when you are past your thirties!)
    So, you’re up against ageism and there’s little you can do about it.

    You wrote;” I can and do believe in my capacity to go forward – but my past(in the context of a recruiter’s view of my CV) is a dead weight that can only hold me back.”
    You can’t change the outcome of choices you’ve made in the past,.
    It’s only by looking back with the knowledge we have now that we can see the outcome of our hopes and expectations.
    It’s maybe not a matter of making the wrong choices but more a matter of expecting too much.
    We study and we’re making plans for the future and that’s okay but we tend to forget that we can’t control any of it.
    That’s very frustrating and hard to acknowledge.
    If you start thinking about this you wonder why we ,reasonable intelligent creatures, get disappointed time and time again when our hopes or expectations are being shattered by unexpected and unforeseen circumstances.

    Hilly, don’t be so immensely hard on yourself.
    See this difficult stage in your life as an opportunity to grow.
    I know that sounds as a terrible cliché but remember you can choose to become bitter and disillusioned, which is easy ,or find the courage to face yourself and this life with all your defenses down.
    It’s not an easy task……I’m trying very hard to accept myself without judging and with compassion.
    It’s often one step forward and slipping many, many steps back!

    Try to be here instead of there, in the non existing future.
    I tend to worry a lot about what lies ahead (control freaks habit)but I start to see that by doing so I often miss out on experiencing what’s right here!
    I am very lucky to work with young children because they teach me how to be here.
    They show me the beauty of things I wouldn’t have seen without their help.
    Last week in a room flooded by the midday sun one of the children suddenly cried out;”Look at that!!!” and pointed his finger towards innumerous specs of dust dancing in the air around us.
    I could hear myself saying:”Well, that’s just dust…..” but all of a sudden I saw what the children were seeing; beautiful sparkling specs…and we all stood there and watched full of wonder and delight.
    It was such a beautiful experience and I can’t even try to explain what it did for me.

    So try to be here and see what is.
    No matter how dark things may seem there’s light as well.

    I can’t make this any better for you, Hilly.
    But you can.
    Wishing you to find strength and inner wisdom.

    All my best,

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 11, 2011 @ 11:05 pm

    Hello, everyone, human beings, we are to have problems., of different kinds, these need to be taken, such as learning, are highly structured, this is so, it taught me, this comes from family, but each is a unique, leave concerns, money, work …….., where all this leads to depression, to despair, there is always a solution, if we propose. all done, we have have faith in ourselves, I believe in God, does the work, but I have to do my part, the blessings in our lives, they come, but we, we have to put in action, not stand still, the light is within us, “love” this is our home ourselves, we must be free., bitterness, anger ……… love must reign, and explain all this. you must live it, feel it, and explain the faith, to me it makes me hard, everyone has to buzcar inside, and you will see the potential we have and we do not know, we live always worried about tomorrow is today and now , tomorrow is another day, let fly, float. lifted., our being, our soul, our light, -
    affection for all, I love with all my heart, God bless -Hilda

  • By hilly, February 12, 2011 @ 12:49 am

    Marly – thanks for your words of wisdom. It is hard for me to see through the veil of blue mud that is overwhelming my life right now.

    Hilda – please excuse me of I don’t share your idea that believing in god will solve everything. But this line held my attention because of the wisdom in it – and I’ll grab it like a life raft to try to swim in the current
    we live always worried about tomorrow is today and now , tomorrow is another day, let fly, float. lifted., our being, our soul, our light,

  • By JanetKCrafton, February 12, 2011 @ 1:14 am

    Christine, thank you for welcoming me to the blog. “This, all of this” is a bit daunting. This group has been together for some time. You guys and gals have covered a great deal since you began this journey. Joining late is intimidating. Making sense to just onr person is tough but an entire group – that is another matter. So thanks.

    Hilly. Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I particularly like the “tell your brain to take a time out”. My brain runs manic as I stand here with all that lies before me. It is not “two paths” but a far too many to reasonable consider. But the very best is “step forward with confidence”. That is so great – and timely. Monday, a.k.a. Valentine’s Day is my first Hearing regarding the Divorce. There are a lot of options for me right now. Knowing on Monday I can “step forward with confidence” is a hell of lot better than the “other options” I had thinking about for Monday. So thank you.

    In one of my previous lives, I learned that “it is a process and not an event”. I have had what I thought were events, when in reality they were all part of the process. I have found that this was not just a lesson for what I was learning at that time, but it is a lesson for life. It is a “process” that hopefully will go on as long as I live. The process, to me, is the journey of life, day in and day out; year in and year out. On Monday, a.k.a. Valentine’s Day, is just another day in my life. There is no need to give that day more power than is necessary. That “event”, whatever it will be and however it turns out, is just part of the “process” of my life. I am can only do so much. The rest is left to others to decide. I cannot control any more than I could have “made my marriage work”. “My marriage” was not an individual’s responsibility, but both of ours. It is what it is. That is all. Thanks.


  • By marly, February 12, 2011 @ 2:11 am

    Hello Christine,

    Thank you for your comment.
    I would like to take the opportunity to tell you how much I enjoy your posts on this blog.
    You seem to be a very kind and gentle woman who often doesn’t seem to realize how strong she actually is.

    Yes, it’s indeed hard to change the way we handle things.
    Sometimes we’re not able to change the situation we’re in but we have the ability to consciously change the way we look at it.
    Most of the time though we’re not aware of how our interpretation of what actually happens ,colors our reaction towards that situation.
    That’s how we create our own reality and continue to fight against our own private windmills.
    I hope that being aware of this will help me to accept what is instead of wasting so much energy.

    We sure all have our own ways of getting through life and it really doesn’t matter which road we prefer to take.
    But most roads are bumpy and also have steep hills and high mountains to climb.
    Maybe we’re here on this shared thoughts blog to find ourselves helpful tools in order to make it across those bumpy roads?
    We’re all in this together, no doubt about that so let us continue to share thoughts and provide each other with possibly helpful tools.
    Our destination is the same.


  • By hilly, February 12, 2011 @ 4:21 am

    Janet you will probably have noticed by now that I need to take my own advice!
    Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I particularly like the “tell your brain to take a time out”. My brain runs manic as I stand here with all that lies before me.

    Marly said: Maybe we’re here on this shared thoughts blog to find ourselves helpful tools in order to make it across those bumpy roads?
    We’re all in this together, no doubt about that so let us continue to share thoughts and provide each other with possibly helpful tools.
    Our destination is the same.

    and I second all of that. Janet, you will see that many of us have known each other for a long time – some have met, others not but we ‘met’ on the web through other routes. Most of the contributors try to discuss (and yes OK sometimes we argue like hell but we’re human!)what has been put before us by PMG without applying personal agendas to read what was not even intended let alone written between the lines – and then we go off on our own journey’s of discovery around what is raised.
    What I’m trying to say is that – IMO and this is entirely personal – as you read the discussions that have taken place in the last year you will see that we draw support and hope from what the others say.
    Welcome to the group…

  • By hilly, February 12, 2011 @ 4:22 am

    aaargh I hate WORD I did not put that apostrophe on ‘journeys’!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That’ll teach me to cut and paste without checking!

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 12, 2011 @ 9:00 am I am, to ask, sorry, I do not expect others tengan.mis beliefs. or think, or be like me, each is a unique, here on the blog, we are learning from each other , and most importantly, the love, the belief that we have is personal., but love is. the unit., at all, here we are for something or for something, see, we can learn., shared our thoughts , feelings, as you say, Mr. Glaser. the greatest power in the human being is love, love to all, blessings, with all my heart, and love, Hilda

  • By hilly, February 12, 2011 @ 9:25 am

    Hilda I hope I’ve ‘tidied up’ the translator’s version right here:
    “I do not expect others to share my beliefs, or think, or be like me, each is unique here on the blog, we are learning from each other…the belief that we have is personal; but love is oneness…we are here for something or to see something, we can learn, share our thoughts, feelings….”

    Thank you for being willing to share.

  • By Christine, February 12, 2011 @ 2:25 pm

    Hi Marly, Thank you for your comments and kind words. The great thing about this blog is the fact that we can share and learn from one another. That feels good!. :)

    Hi JanetK, Having gone through a divorce myself I can understand to some degree; although we all have our own individual reason’s for it. It does take sometime to adjust. I’m certainly no expert, but hope all goes well for you on Monday.
    Best wishes,

  • By Christine, February 12, 2011 @ 2:32 pm

    Hi Hilda, Its nice to read your thoughts. Love is the important feeling. If there were more love and compassion in the world it would be a much better place.
    Best wishes,
    Christine. :)

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 12, 2011 @ 10:44 pm

    Hi Christine, life taught me that the most important thing is love, that hatred., and resentment, leads us into a trap, not exit, or be a hypocrite, that also binds us, we do, give an example., go to church, pray, pray, worship, if when we left, that communion with God or with ourselves, let the street and not see the love in the other, we have no compassion, all that performed to pray, pray, stay in anything we do not see the need, on the other. of our knowledge, our neighbor, so that the world, but there is always a minority, unfortunately, that is learning, to love, I hope to join many more, to love unconditionally, without thinking, I give you this, but always expecting the reward., so not give love without expecting anything in return, just love., if we made damage. forgive, so simple, do not say that it’s easy, but if you, true love., sure you do, love drives you to do, I know every one of us, lived, different or equal circumstances, is that is often painful, but we won with that, build up, pain and more pain, and growing. rancor, as hard roots that are embedded in our hearts, follow, follow, looking within, out, what that hurts us, throw it away, into the sea, to live a new life, I’ve had many, blessings in my life, but also, a lot of pain, very difficult, an example, see my parents, taking you to the night, having no food to put on the table, little food, he had was for my brother and me, these things happen, they are now, is that they, my parents were suffering because of that, working, all day, and we did not have to eat, my mother, until recently, I remembered all that, and I did understand, many things today, do not suffer more, I understood, but it took more than 35 years to understand
    many blessings to all. I love with all my heart, Hilda

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 13, 2011 @ 6:04 am

    hilda : i believe in God too and i am not apologetic about that. our belief or non-belief in God also binds us together. it is the self-searching more than what we all personally believe in common which matters. after all, what we take time to share here are different versions of our relative ‘truths’ or interpretations we hold in our hearts. i agree with you that the most important thing is love.. if there was unconditional love, people would not have to war against each other and we’d probably have a less chaotic world. yes, i agree that sometimes at church we see hypocrites much as we see hypocrites everywhere even outside church… yes, there are seasons and phases in life when we have to go through ‘difficult’times but i think that during these times, it is when we learn about ourselves more and relize how ‘strong’ we really are.. it is during these hard times that we really get to seek God and in doing so learn more of how we relate to Him/Her (God) and our immediate environment (family, friends, people and society). it is during these times that we also get to realize that we are really never alone.

    isn’t it because of these difficult times that we learn to forgive and get to be a bit more ‘broadminded’? we get to learn how to love more because we can say ‘i’ve been there and i know how that feels’ thus, we become less judgmental.

    we also become more grateful.. we wake up alive and if everything is alright (or not) we still can be grateful because whatever happens we see the beauty of nature all around us.. or a rainbow.. or even a loyal dog (or cat) and these may seem ‘small delights’ but they do make us feel that in this vast world, God has left us constant reminders that we are loved… or that he is the ultimate LOVE.

    please go on sharing your thoughts hilda.. thank you and be blessed too.

  • By hilly, February 13, 2011 @ 7:10 am

    this intrigues me:
    i believe in God too and i am not apologetic about that.

    why should anyone be apologetic about what they believe?
    If you beleive something – and that belief is genuine (which yours obviously is) why should you apologise for it?
    If what you believe isn’t offensive to others (and believing in a god/God isn’t)what is there to apologise about?

    Because as you say: after all, what we take time to share here are different versions of our relative ‘truths’ or interpretations we hold in our hearts.

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 13, 2011 @ 3:30 pm

    Escribe texto o la dirección de un sitio web o traduce un documento.
    Leer fonéticamente
    traducción del español al inglés
    I think. una.mala there what I meant, surely, as English is not my original language, I have to use the translator, I am. I do not apologize for believing in God, I mean, I can not expect that others create what I believe., everyone is free. to believe in what you want, I can not pretend that other, like-minded yo.nunca, but never would ask, sorry, for believing in God is as if he refuses, he is my light and my truth., and my life. Jesus said, I am the way, the truth and the life., and I believe it., but here we are talking about love. , not religion, we are all beings of light, love, love without thinking, to receive something in return., a pure love, we must return to being children, they are pure love, without rancor, they are pure. please if anyone knows Spanish., I could help, what I mean. This will put on my tongue, and English.’s love, God bless, love Hilda

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 13, 2011 @ 3:31 pm

    creo .que hay una.mala lo que quise decir,seguramente ,como el ingles no es mi lengua original,tengo que utilizar,el traductor ,yo .no pido perdon ,por creer, en Dios,digo ,que no puedo pretender,que otros ,crean lo que yo creo .,cada uno es libre .de creer en lo que quiera,no puedo pretender ,que otros ,piensen igual que yo.nunca,pero nunca, pediria, perdon ,por creer en Dios ,es como si lo negara ,el es mi luz,mi verdad.,y mi vida .Jesus dijo ,yo soy ,el camino ,la verdad,y la vida .,y yo lo creo .,pero aqui ,estamos hablando del amor .,no de religion,todos somos seres de luz,de amor , amar sin pensar ,en recibir algo a cambio.,un amor puro ,tenemos que volver a ser niños ,que son puro amor ,no tienen rencor,son puros .por favor ,si alguien sabe español .,me podrian ayudar ,en lo que quiero decir .esto lo pondre en mi lengua ,y en ingles .los amo ,Dios los bendiga ,con amor Hilda

  • By hilly, February 14, 2011 @ 12:44 am

    I think it was Infidelabumpkin who used the phrase Hilda.

    “I am the way the truth and the light”…I’ve seen one translation that adds the word ‘to’: I am the way to the truth and the light.
    For me that has more weight.

  • By PamT, February 14, 2011 @ 4:35 am

    Paul, thanks for sharing your thoughts again.

    I now have a note on my wall as a reminder that it’s a process, not an objective. I don’t think I can be reminded of that often enough.

    So, rather than standing vigilantly over the tiniest of green shoots which has emanated from the planted seed and bellowing impatiently ‘Come on, grow quicker!’, the focus of my intent is to allow it draw on the water and absorb the light it needs in this moment … and to be with it.

    There seems to be a whiff of spring in the air today.


  • By hilly, February 14, 2011 @ 8:52 am

    Pam help

    I can log in here with the password that I have for this blog but I can’t log into Word press or Gravatar with it. I’ve requested a reset for the password and followed their instructions – and immediately get told that the password is incorrect.

    DOes anyone know how to contact the ill-mannered incompetents who claim to be Gravatar’s CS….I e-mailed them a week ago and still haven’t had a reply

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 14, 2011 @ 10:31 am

    Hilda : Mis disculpas es tomada muy literalmente. Es más del respeto que me hizo decir lo sentimos por mis creencias. Quiero decir lo sentimos como un signo de respeto por aquellos que no pueden entender mi creencia en Dios. Creo que Jesús es el amor. Así, en cada uno de nuestros corazones, tenemos que Dios luz que nos hace capaces de amar otros. It is very simple and I am sorry too that Spanish is not my main language.

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 14, 2011 @ 11:12 am

    hilly: I think it was Infidelabumpkin who used the phrase Hilda.

    “I am the way the truth and the light”…I’ve seen one translation that adds the word ‘to’: I am the way to the truth and the light.
    For me that has more weight.

    no it was not i, but any of those two translations are alright to me. after all, literal translations are a sure way to provoke arguments so i keep away from them.

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 15, 2011 @ 9:57 pm

    Dear Paul, I know that love is very important in our lives, that love, connects us, there is a connection, when someone like you, talking about beautiful thoughts, your love, feel, is like finding the soul mate, love with love, like me, wait for your thoughts, do good to my soul, and often say, that’s what I feel, that’s my feeling, that is my love, reflected in your writing, if I love you . with that pure love, no matter if I know, never saw me or not, the connection is love, so I’m happy, because, like you, and others, we have that love, listen, that our mind. is like a mad monkey, going from here to there, from branch to branch., us with the mind, come to past, present, future, does not stand still, and I say, we’re missing today and now , not to quiet our mind, if it is, she or brain., manage our body, but the love is within us, light is in us, we are beings of light, many may think, or say that ‘re crazy, but crazy. for the good, the love, compassion, is incredible, here in Argentina are 3.00 am, always as if my mind or my feelings out, at this time. dear Paul, thank you I’m learning, more and more, every day, or are learning together, this is my humble writing, what I’m feeling today, thanks for allowing this round trip, with lots of love, Hilda

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 15, 2011 @ 10:18 pm

    I use the phrase. I am the way, the truth and the life. is the phrase that Jesus said., if say, I am the way, the truth and light, fine. for me light is Jesus, love, kisses. love. Hilda

  • By hilly, February 16, 2011 @ 12:48 am

    Hilda I don’t dispute what you believe but there is no way of knowing what he actually said – only what the translators tell us

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 16, 2011 @ 11:45 am

    hi all, the only alternative I have, is to use the translator, I am going from one page to another, copy, stick, and understand, what they write, I hope you understand me, I’ll have to learn English, God bless you with Hilda love

  • By hilly, February 16, 2011 @ 11:54 am

    LOL no Hilda – I meant the people who translated the New Testament texts from Aramaic to Greek to Latin to….all the languages that it is written in these days.Giggle – I must admit I hate to think what Babelfish and the other online translators would make of much of it!

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 17, 2011 @ 8:59 pm

    Dear friends, I think we left the bush, like crazy monkeys, we left the track. We live surrounded by people, family, friends, and under all kinds of relationships, people who interact with us only moments in the day, co-workers, those attending the shops we frequent, neighbors, and those whom we see once in life, in the street or on the bus. How can the relationship is harmonious with them? How can we not disturb their attitudes, but often harm us?
    Since we are ahead in line at the supermarket, or the head that makes difficult our day at the office, to our partner blame us, or our mother that does not stop in its purpose to teach us to live.
    How to be tolerant with each of them? How to generate love in every situation so that the person who causes discomfort or annoyance to become a soul brother?

    The first is to see the faults of its own, however insignificant they are, as huge, as if we we look very closely and not apologize for anything.
    To see ourselves as the cause of this situation which affects us both in our ego.

    The second action is to consider the faults of others by huge they are as insignificant .. We understand that person that makes us angry, just doing what it can and is learning to live like us. His appearance in our day is a test to move forward, learn, work tolerance and generate our love.

    The third requirement is to always remember God’s omnipresence, in name or form of one’s choice, God is always present in every moment of our lives, so if we remembered that, if we realize God would not go bad or offend our friends, since God is also in every one of them. (Sai Baba)

    Jesus said, “What doest it the least of my brethren, you’re doing to me”

    life is a learning process., day by day, is seeking the light., interior, (God) that I think is my feeling, God bless (Hilda)

  • By hilly, February 18, 2011 @ 12:42 pm

    I’ve been thinking about the concept of ‘home’ as a shelter for the spirit. It is neutral. It is not necessarily comfortable. It is a place where the mind can reflect distraction. Where the spirit can feel free to explore the world that imagination lays before it.

    Or is it?
    Is it, perhaps, the very place that the mind (the spirit? the soul?) imagines or invents or yearns? A place where ‘thought’ is no longer necessary. No longer necessary because the process is over. The race is run. The road has led to the place we dreamed of being.
    but don’t get me wrong; home isn’t a void; it isn’t death; it isn’t an ending….nor a beginning. Home is (to over work a phrase) where the heart is. And when the heart feels at home maybe the spirit has a chance of taking a break and enjoying the view.

    So how do we get there? And how do we know when we are there?

    And will it be a communal place, filled with friends and family and loved ones (not always the same people!). Or will it be a solitary place (not necessarily lonely – solitude and loneliness are not the same) where the soul/spirit can enjoy a little peace and quiet?

    Home is what we want it to be.
    Where we want it to be.
    With the people we want to share it with.
    Home is where we all hope to be.
    And we all define it according to the things that have shaped our consciousness/our thinking/our meditation/our prayers…..

    It is my heaven and your hell. Your heaven and my hell. My city penthouse, your country cottage. My simple cube, your beams and fireplace.
    Home is a personal thing.

  • By marly, February 19, 2011 @ 3:41 am

    “Home is a personal thing”
    But don’t we all yearn for a place where we can enjoy a little peace and quiet?
    Don’t we all long for a place where we can take a break and enjoy the view?
    When we utter these personal yearnings what are we in fact revealing about ourselves?
    That we are suffering?
    That we are unable to face what’s here and therefore create a far away destination where, one day, some day we may find what we’re so desperately long for.

    From what place does this yearning come from?
    A place far from home?
    Yes, we may define “home” according to our personal ideas/thoughts but what if we were stripped down to our very essence ?
    What if we would be able(allow ourselves) to dare looking at what’s hidden underneath all those layers that define you and me?
    “Home” may seem to be a personal thing( our mind/ego may lead us to believe this) but maybe, when we’re done peeling off all the layers, we’ll find all of us are searching for what’s been here all along.
    “Home” may be where we are right now.

    Do I know this from my own personal experience?
    Nope, not yet, a lot of it is theory, reproduced knowledge from the books I’ve been reading, from what Paul is trying to share on this blog and from what you, my fellow bloggers are sharing here.
    I’m in the process of learning and I am becoming aware of the fact that theory alone is not enough.
    It’s like trying to drive a car after reading the manual but with no driving experience at all.
    I feel the need to practice and experience the things I have been studying.
    I especially like the following quote from Buddha:

    “Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.”

    Have a nice weekend,


  • By hilly, February 19, 2011 @ 3:55 am

    Marly I like the idea of home being somewhere away from the clamour of our everyday lives.

    This has been going through my head for the past few days (maybe my mind is trying to tell me something)
    “Somewhere over the rainbow
    Skies are blue
    And the dreams that you dare to dream really do come true
    (My italics)

    Perhaps somewhere in our search for the way home we forget that if we don’t dare to dream we have no chance of getting there.
    Home is a dream away…sweet dreams

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 19, 2011 @ 8:32 pm

    Hello everyone., These days. I thought, in the following, each of us, each being, we are light, our light. It is our home, we have to our knowledge, around, house, home, computer, streets, forests , are there, because so has to be, and according to the eyes that look, the important thing, my opinion, is how to keep that light within us (with love), we fear, we must let them depart, have attachments, you have to detach, we blame, we must throw them out, we hate, love, see the neighbor, as a being of light, or not a being of light, I can tell, I am a being of light, not see the other light, many beings of light, did not realize that, there will be that, all we have to go through a process., to realize that we are light, I still think that we have, to be free everything that hurts us, hate, resentment, lack of forgiveness, and as all know, what I think I. that light is God, many do not agree, do not believe in God, I I respect that, everyone, believe what they want. and if it’s good for your being, to continue believing in me, particularly, makes me very well, I believe, no matter what religion or what we believe, what matters is found in us. the love and see love, on the other, even in the same nature, loved and adored, and why not say, friends, brothers, look, (today), the love
    Mr. Glaser thanks for this blog, so beautiful, God bless, -. Hilda

  • By heidi33, February 20, 2011 @ 1:36 am

    Just been reading Mr. Glaser’s comments above.
    Very positive ideas about the stream and going on our journey through life and learning processes. No matter what Life throws at us, the human spirit tends to fight through. It is resilient.
    As regards consciousness and our existence, perhaps we would be happier if our human minds had not evolved or developed in to such a sophisticated state.
    A hamster only lives 2 years but it seems to be content with its existence. When Death comes for it, I’m sure it would not be aware of its future.
    On the other hand, human beings with their minds worry about all sorts—love , relationships, money. Have our minds got too advanced?

    Can I just recommend a film called “The Fountain” to all of you? Beautiful photography and thought provoking storyline.When we watched it yesterday ,I have never seen anything like it. Unusual experience—floating Buddha images. Great effects.

  • By infidelabumpkin, February 21, 2011 @ 9:36 am

    heidi : the fountain is an amazing fiilm.the ending is glorious… it is not clear to me if tom goes through different life cycles looking for the same thing — the fountain of youth — but one thing that is really clear to me is how he keeps looking for three life cycles for the same thing because he first loves his soul mate too much when he was a conquistador. the storyline is open to interpretation but that part in the end near the tree (of knowledge) was the best.. when the ring returned to his finger.. obviously, he didn’t find immortality but one thing that was consistent was his love.
    i think the music and the graphics were unlike any other movie.. almost magical.

  • By heidi33, February 22, 2011 @ 3:12 am

    Hello Infidelabumpkin. Yes, “The Fountain” certainly makes you think. I admit it was too clever for me in parts–I didn’t understand everything. There were 4 of us watching it and we all had different interpretations of it at the end.

    You are right that love is strong and man’s quest for knowledge.
    Something I never understood. Why does Mankind want immortality???

    I think you should just appreciate every minute you get on this earth while we are here.

  • By hilly, February 22, 2011 @ 7:59 am

    Heidi and Infidela…
    I’m intrigued by that movie and will be trying to find it on DVD (although the trailer on YouTube didn’t inspire me – it is your comments that make me want to watch it.

    Heidi asks:Why does Mankind want immortality???
    My take on this is that “mankind” is so vain that it can’t believe that it might not be as significant in the universe (and those beyond it) as it thinks it is – therefore it wants to ‘make a mark’ and living for ever is one way of doing it.

  • By heidi33, February 23, 2011 @ 8:53 am

    Just thought that if we achieve immortality, where would we all fit on this earth? How would the farmers have enough land to feed all the populations of the world?

    Food is important for survival.

    Infidelabumpkin, you know a few weeks ago,you wrote some beautiful words on this blog here. Do you write them yourself or are they from a song? Whenever my spirits get low, I read them and it cheers me up!

    Mr. Glaser is lucky to have such talented people writing on his blog.

  • By hilly, February 23, 2011 @ 11:54 am

    Hahah Heidi I hadn’t thought of that…it’s a good argument. There isn’t enough food to go around as it is – and we waste too much of that feeding animals to feed ourselves!

    I hope this link works (this site gets a little ad hoc sometimes and I know it isn’t anyone’s fault.

    This is a group I go to a lot…it is a public group and I think you can access it if you are not a member of Multiply so here goes (It’s about Buddhism and compassion BTW)

  • By hilly, February 23, 2011 @ 12:07 pm

    these are the paragraphs that rang out to me when I read the page I’ve linked to

    An essential method to begin acting with compassion is to transform negative thoughts into positive ones. A positive attitude goes a long way to help achieve this. Jealousy, envy, hate, anger, and making snap judgments against people just because they are different from us… these are examples of some negative attitudes that must be adjusted into positive ones to promote compassion. When we quit letting ourselves be ruled so much by those negative attitudes, we not only find it easier to practice compassion, but we also find that we receive a surprising amount of compassion, as well. We all need compassion in our lives to some extent. Practicing it is a sure way to “reap what you sow.”

    No matter how difficult it may seem, we can practice compassion every day. This sublime little book gives us many hints about how to do this. I recommend this book* to all those who would like to add a little more compassion to their lives.”

    *Buddhist Acts of Compassion, by Pamela Bloom
    (I wonder if PMG had read it)

    Those are my italics…and once again in my imaginary conversation with this writer I’m saying ‘ouch’.

  • By Christine, February 23, 2011 @ 4:09 pm

    Hi Hilly, Sounds a very interesting book.

    Hi everyone, Hope all is going well for you guys.
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, February 24, 2011 @ 12:52 am

    I’ve added it to my ‘wishlist’ on a book website I go to.

    Right now ‘home’ in the physical sense is the last place I want to spend all day. The job-hunting is getting more and more demoralizing – yesterday I was made to understand by the woman at Manpower (job agency) that the only thing on my CV that meant anything to her was that I’m bilingual and once temped as a receptionist. It’s bad enough not liking the house you live in – but not being able to get out every day to escape to work is even worse believe me!

  • By heidi33, February 24, 2011 @ 1:38 am

    Somebody mentioned a documentary called “Face of our Fear”.,made for English television in 1992. I didn’t see it then in 1992 but apparently, the film maker was showing the way disabled people were treated through the ages.

    Knowing human nature, I guess that society shunned and rejected them like lepers or some were classed as freaks of nature becoming objects of ridicule.

    I sincerely hope that people’s attitudes are changing nowadays.
    I’m writing this comment here because I couldn’t manage to do it on the other part of the blog.

    Enjoy the rest of the week, everyone. Hope you manage to find a job you like, Hilly. Don’t give up–you’ll find something.

    Talking of fear, they say you should confront the thing you are afraid of and that cures you. What do the other bloggers think of this?
    If somebody is scared of spiders, does it help to confront one?

  • By hilly, February 24, 2011 @ 3:39 am

    LOL Heidi the only way I can confront a spider is to swat it! the thought of being in a room with a spider makes me feel physically sick (I used to leave the cat to deal with them but no cat means I have to) but I can deal with our local (not too venimous) scorpions (I brush them onto a dustpan and shoot them out of the door or window) and I don’t mind snakes or mice…but spiders eeeeyuk!

    I can confront most of my other fears – but right now the fear of my future is confronting me in a way I’ve never experienced before. I’ve had tough times worrying how I’m get over the hurdles but this time I’m more scared than I’ve ever been (and that includes watching a business go to the edge of bankruptcy before I could do anything to stop it).

  • By heidi33, February 24, 2011 @ 7:39 am

    Sorry I can’t help you, Hilly as regards jobs and the future. It seems as though the whole world is in recession or similar to the Depression of the 1930′s.
    During the last Depression, my father told us that he got some chickens and sold the eggs to give him a bit more income.
    Initiative. Can you not branch out into something new to you? You said you are good at making pizzas. How about selling them?People always have to eat!

    Ah, scorpions–I heard that they have them in France. Do they put dried lavender on the window sills? Will that keep them out of the house?

    Sorry, Pam I’ve gone off the subject here–I was just trying to help Hilly out.

  • By hilly, February 24, 2011 @ 7:47 am

    lavender works fine for scorpions and I grow plenty of it in the garden.

    I would never set up my own business again in France Heidi – the red tape drowns you!

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 24, 2011 @ 9:20 am

    Hi all, my dear friends, brothers, love. Today, I have a question, do we want to be when you grow up, we’re old, but want to be. that made me question myself, I replied I want to be a kid, I always say, that would be beautiful, being a child again, no problems, playing, loving unconditionally, without bitterness, without anger, pure, and I want to be, a girl, beautiful, tenderly, with love , would not it be wonderful? feel like a child, an adult, I’m seeing in my life, yesterday, died, and happened, I died. and now reborn again to continue in this life, doing things right, to love unconditionally, I love without expecting anything in return, is simply love, love you all, Paul, Pam. to all, and try not to be wrong in this day, tomorrow is another day. in order to solve or correct what us., we are., beings of light., love, today is a very nice day for me, I’m in peace, happy, enjoying every moment, and I wanted to, compartirlo.con you, a big hug to all of you My dear, my brothers in love, and God bless muchisimo.-with all the love-Hilda

  • By hilly, February 24, 2011 @ 11:56 am

    [who/what]do we want to be when you grow up

    I’m with Peter Pan – don’t want to do it!

  • By hilly, February 24, 2011 @ 1:45 pm

    on a less flippant note…what do you all make of this (gleaned from Buddhist group I visit)

    “… although you may be expressing to yourself that discounting of yourself is negative and you are attempting to not be expressing this discounting of self, your attention is focused upon you. Therefore, in that action you automatically are diverting your energy expressions and shall allow yourself to avoid many different OUTWARD expressions of conflict in relation to other individuals, for your attention is not being projected to the other individual and you are not concerning yourself with the expressions or choices or behaviors of other individuals. You are concerning yourself in paying attention to YOU, and therefore that which you view as a negative expression within you actually creates what you assess to be a positive expression outwardly.”

  • By heidi33, February 26, 2011 @ 5:41 am

    Hola Hilda,
    Pues a mi me gustaria hacerme veterinaria come me gustan los animales. Pero las matematicas no me salen en examenes asi que es un sueno imposible a no ser que alguien me da otro cerebro!!!
    y tu quieres ser nina otra vez. Bueno yo creo que la edad no es importante. Nos llevamos muy bien con mi tio. Fue una persona muy simpatica y el tuvo mas que 90 anos.!!!
    Puedes guardar tu espiritu y corazon joven, no es verdad? Be true to yourself.
    Un abrazo de Heidi.

    Hilly, the question you asked, well from my experience of life so far, negative things and conflict are no good for the human soul and can damage people. Mind you, going through Life with positive attitudes is very difficult to do as well.

    If we treat people with respect and like ourselves, does that work? Perhaps, it does, I don’t know.

    Well, I’m going back in the kitchen watching the cookies I’m baking–I don’t want to ruin them or burn them, Christine. Don’t laugh!!

  • By Sammy, February 26, 2011 @ 8:52 am

    “Home is our truth, our reason for being”

    Out of all variations, isn’t ‘home’ the place in the mind where we go to feel safe?
    The place where our dreams come true?
    The place where we see our existence and the reason we exist?
    The place where we see our true selves?
    The place where we judge ourselves?
    The place where we try to take control and realize that we cannot but feel safe anyway?

    When recently I made a trip to my ‘Past’ to the ‘House’ where I was born, a place that I don’t call a ‘home’ (in a physical sense) … but I was still feeling safe because my mind was in the ‘home’ I had created by myself.

    We live in the present but look into the past and think ‘Ah the good old days’ – Weren’t we saying the same thing when we were living in those ‘good old days’and looked into a era way before that.. Then.. again… somewhere in the future, we would refer to the present as the ‘good old days’?

    So.. why cannot we just live in the ‘now’?

    Heidi… I think I smell the cookies.. :-)

  • By hilly, February 26, 2011 @ 12:34 pm

    Ok here’s my problem.
    My ‘now’ is no place to be.
    In the past few years I have become someone I never wanted to be…someone I hardly recognize and TBH someone I find hard to like; to have compassion for and to accept.
    This person is the ‘product’ of ‘home’. Home – being a house she never wanted to live in in a village she never wanted to live in. I am urban and proud of it! The house is the antithesis of everything I like architecturally. My late stepfather was an architect – a man influenced by the Bauhaus; I grew up with and prefer the cool clean lines that I can then make my own with the decoration I want – not exposed stone and beams and gaping open fireplaces…all the crap I have to live with.
    Now the obvious response to this is: choose to move away. Or even the question: if you don’t like it why are you there?
    To the first the response is ‘I would if I could’. And the truth is that part of the reason I am stuck here is because all attempts to do so failed and made the situation worse – sprung my trap. Because the answer to the second is ‘I can’t’. I can’t because I have no longer have the choice but to stay here as long as I don’t have a job (and then one that pays more than the minimum wage). I no longer have the means to leave.
    So how did I get here? I got here because when my mother bought this house – against my advice! – I didn’t expect to stay in it more than a year at the most. I even managed to move out – until I lost the job that payed the rent. I moved back – under protest – until I could find something new…and what I found was the shop I invested all my money and my energy into…and when the economy took a bump and all I could do was save what I could from the mess. I lost a lot of money; but more important I lost my self-confidence and my self-respect.
    Even when I had the shop the overheads and the cost of employing the necessary staff made it impossible for me to pay myself as well as I paid my apprentice(!) So I was stuck here…the strategy failed.
    Since then I’ve been trying to get out and hitting a wall every time.
    I’ve become sour, bitter, angry and downright difficult to be with.
    I used to be cheerful and funny – now my humor veers to the snide and ironic.
    I used to believe in the future – now it terrifies me.
    Where once I discussed (we used to say ‘rapped’ before that became some kind of ‘music’) – now I argue and sometimes I go on the attack. I never did suffer fools gladly – now I don’t suffer them at all. (which is why I don’t spare “the sheep” who will not think for themselves)

    I used to be ready to reach out to others – I still am; but I am incapable of reaching out to myself.

    I’ve lost me!

    And the reason for this is indeed this house…home…that I want to get away from and can’t. And even if that opportunity arises; if the good job emerges..I still can’t leave this house as long as my mother insists on staying in it. she is nearly 81; this house is all stairs and she is getting less steady. Living in this house (up a steep hill from the village) and in this village – with no real shops worth using – if you can’t drive you are buried alive…mum is 81; the day she can’t drive she’d be trapped here…and that’s why my trap is sprung too.

    And so instead of going through life with a smile I cry. Instead of embracing the future (**** it, I’m only 55)I’m terrified of it.
    I had a new set of photos taken for my CV today…the sadness shines out of my eyes (and the wrinkles are horrendous too!)
    My past is no longer ‘home’ – the last time I went to London – my hometown – my past – the environment that made me, my self-identifying marker as an urbanite….I felt like a foreigner.
    My past is part of my trap.

    I try to find a meaning to my life – I search in reading and in learning; that’s why I know so much about so many religions – as I said once before I know what I don’t/can’t /won’t believe. I know what I don’t accept. Iknow that a ‘Messiah’ is of no use to me….
    The Buddha was a teacher with no claims to deity, I have more time for his teachings than for any others; my jury is still out on a god.

    I know what I don’t want….but I no longer know what I do want…or what I am capable of having.
    I no longer believe in me.
    I am to blame for my situation – how can I have compassion for myself; how can I have compassion for the person who destroyed my self confidence and self respect?
    And my ‘home’ is to blame too – because if I hadn’t been trapped in it I wouldn’t have made the bad decisions that increased the trap.
    I hate my ‘home’; my material home. I hate it with an intensity that is cathartic (and contrary to what some people tell me – hatred is a healthy emotion when it is reasoned). I said to someone today that to me all villages are ‘dead and alive holes’ – by which I meant that I feel buried alive living here.

    Anyone know where I can find a spade?

  • By Christine, February 26, 2011 @ 4:14 pm

    Hi Sammy, Hey its lovely to see you back!. I have to agree with you on the ‘good old days’ we all do it don’t we?. Or the other most used sentence to younger members of the family ‘Now when I was your age we …..’ always looking back,of course we were better behaved,(but were we really? lol) etc etc, one thing is for sure though there used to be more respect around in the good old days!!!.

    Hi Heidi, Were those cookies good?. Years ago I was always baking. Now there’s only me at home its kind of lost its appeal.

    Hi Hilly, Oh dear you sound so down. At least you had the nerve to try and make a go of things with your business Hilly. The problem is now every where has a problem with the lack of jobs, most people I know are struggling to make ends meet. Its a tough time. You say you have lost your self-confidence and self respect ………you are still the same lady Hilly, you did your best what more can anyone do?. Please try not to beat yourself up about it. Just be proud that you tried. I’m sorry you aren’t happy where you are. We never know what is around the corner, sending you good vibes my friend. :)

  • By Sammy, February 26, 2011 @ 4:52 pm

    Hilly my dear friend.. if you want to talk you know how to find me…

    You made decisions based on what was in front of you or what you saw.. don’t even try to think where you went wrong or what you would have done differently because it is simply not going to help your ‘now’. I or anyone else cannot tell you what to do or where to go from here… you sound ‘shaken’ and your confidence may not be of the same Hilly I know of but .. I am sure it is in you… so please hang in there my friend… dark periods DO NOT last for ever… This is you Hilly.. Cry if you have to and laugh when you are able to – You are your own spade! You can dig yourself out of this.

    Hi Christine.. missed you too!

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, February 26, 2011 @ 9:41 pm

    Hi all, my brothers, friends., Few problems, human beings have, they always are, will these problems, to learn something., For our lives, I’m going to be 49, I said earlier, I want to be girl again, be pure in my feelings, as feelings of a child, but with the responsibility of an adult, laugh, play, jump, dance, it makes me happy, the problems are always only have to learn how to cope these problems, finding inner peace, on Wednesday next, I have to go to the doctor, I’ll have to research myself to see if I have cancer or not, I do not change nothing, absolutely nothing, I’m peaceful, very quiet, I still my dreams, I’m here, I love to share with you, every one of us has a story to tell, so finding the light within us, some will find it today, this minute, tomorrow. within 20., do not know, how long we take, but the light is., if, in us, nothing opaque that light, or disease., and not everything that surrounds us, economic problems, lack of work, that always is a global evil, but peace, light, is ours, ourselves, full of love, and many do not realize this, love without asking anything in return., so that my dear friends, brothers, let us look within, where, we have much love and light, and is shared Paul, thanks for this wonderful blog, is a round trip, we are learning, and one others, next week I’ll tell you how I was at the doctor, with much love Hilda

  • By hilly, February 27, 2011 @ 12:30 am

    sammy – I’ve lost your contact, could you e-mail me

  • By heidi33, February 27, 2011 @ 5:31 am

    Hola Hilda!
    Que te vaya bien cuando vas al medico.Rezamos por ti y tu familia.
    Sammy and Christine–Yes, the almond biscuits seem to be okay–I have been experimenting with different recipes. Talk about King Alfred though and too much thinking!!!

    Hilly, take heart. Life is tough. We always used to say at home–”when one door shuts, another door opens”. I don’t want to sound like Mr. Micawber but something might turn up for you.

    I still think we can not change our fate–at times, we are victims of circumstance or tied up with our families. We are not alone in this world.

    A few years ago, I was heading for a lot of happiness-it would have meant so much to me then something happened within my family. There was a crisis and I was the only one aho could deal with it! As a result, it ruined my life.
    If things had been different at the time and that year——

  • By Softly, February 27, 2011 @ 7:30 am

    Fear like fishhooks in my skin.

    Who put them in and when and why,
    it does not matter anymore.
    One by one I pull them out (careful not to break the skin)

    I thank the hook for its purpose, its lesson, its pain
    Tell myself “never again” and put the hook aside on an ever growing pile.

    Some were easy to take out, some were hard to remove
    Some pinned beliefs of self onto my skin,
    Some pinned my eyes shut or kept my lips from speaking.
    Sunken in so deep new skin grew over it, and you’d hardly notice it was ever there.
    But in the silence I could hear them faintly whisper what to fear, where not to go and why.
    I hear the voice of the ones who put it there and mine as I repeat the mantra of fear.
    I listen carefully and accept their lesson, see their point, thank them for the heads up.
    But I do take the hook out and put it on the ever growing pile.

    I’ll forge a ring out of those hooks one day to remind me of the circles I broke, the lessons I learned and the freedom that I gain.

    Or not, I might just leave them behind and walk away whistling.

    forever learning and whistling Softly

  • By Sammy, February 27, 2011 @ 7:46 am

    Hilly.. Done!

    Nothing ever goes the way we plan.. but we cannot give up either.

    Heidi… I don’t know what happened …. but sometimes … what you thought to be ‘happiness’ at that time might have turned to be a ‘nightmare’ sometime later… (or might have been pure bliss too) … May not apply to what happened in your life but when something doesn’t go the way I wanted it to (come to think of it that has been the case for almost two years now).. well.. anyway.. I try to believe that not receiving what I wanted was really my ‘bit of luck’… Ahh.. there were times I locked up myself in my room and cried my heart out but… well… at the end… I tell myself ‘this is life- deal with it’ .. and I start to feel that things could have been worse…

  • By hilly, February 27, 2011 @ 12:24 pm

    gotcha Sammy!

    Softly – you always bring a note of serenity to these blogs. I’m doing my best to whistle ‘you jut put your lips together and blow’

    Met up with a friend when I was walking this morning, she told me to send her my CV to see if it needs tweaking (and she tweaked it!) and she gave me a few ideas of people to contact…it’s not always what you know but who you know that gets a job these days.
    Feeling a little better – refound a friend (waves to Sammy) and the sky is blue.

  • By Terri, February 27, 2011 @ 1:20 pm

    Hi Hilly, Those blue skies usually make things seem better, at least they do for me and some of my friends. They always comment when the sky is blue. I like when life is compared to a carousel. All we do is go up and down around and around and sometimes end up at the same place but the ride can be such joy. I hope today brought you a little joy.

  • By hilly, February 28, 2011 @ 12:05 pm

    this site has been attacked by spam – Pam when you feel better is there anything you can do about it.

  • By marly, February 28, 2011 @ 1:53 pm

    Hi Hilly (and fellow bloggers),
    Walking is such a wonderful opportunity to let go (if only for a while) of whatever is bothering us.
    If possible, set out for the woods and allow yourself to focus on whatever nature has on offer right now.
    Listen to the birds preparing themselves for the breeding season, enjoy the smell of spring, see the first spring flowers…….just be there, see, hear, smell, feel….use all your senses and realize how you, how we ,are all part of an ongoing process that goes on and on.
    There’s no constant, change is inevitable and nothing lasts forever, it’s all out there for us to see.
    If we could accept this we wouldn’t suffer as much as most of us (including yours truly) do…….

    Hilly, your fear is recognizable and understandable but don’t let it take over, don’t allow it to overshadow everything else.
    Life is far too precious .
    So, try to leave your fear as far as possible behind you when you set out for your walks, see what is right in front of you and be just there.
    Once you’re feeling more fit and energized it may be interesting to try to take a closer look at your fear and examine it from different angles.
    Don’t force yourself, when you’re ready you are ready.
    In the mean time, don’t miss out on spring!


  • By Christine, February 28, 2011 @ 3:54 pm

    Hi everyone, Funny isn’t it how its the people in your life that make up your life?. Three weeks ago my daughter left home.
    Its been 23 years since I have lived alone. When you become a parent your whole life revovles around your kids. Year’s ago I would have given anything for 5 minutes peace and quiet when I was bringing them up. As a single mother there weren’t many quiet moments… now the silence in this house is almost deafening.
    So I go around the house turning on the tv in the sitting room, the radio which is always on in the kitchen, all for background noise. Because this once loud, family filled house is now too quiet. Ironically I have worried more about her since she moved out than when she lived here!!. No! I’m not taking this good…lol.
    My reason for the past 22 years or so has been to be a mother. I used to be a ‘person’ before I was a mother. Now I am so used to thinking and breathing as a mam that its all I feel I am. Does Christine still exist somewhere?.
    Of course this leaving home is all part of growing up its natural she wants to spread her wings; I’m trying very hard to see things her way.
    Suddenly every creak of the house seems to be louder, that ticking of the clock which drives me nuts until I remove the battery!. So much for me wanting peace huh?.
    So, I was about to phone her last night just to check how she was doing, then I thought maybe I shouldn’t. Shes an adult give her the space she wants, so I left it. A few minutes later she called me, just checking that I was ok!!. So when did our roles suddenly reverse?. Must admit it made me smile. :)
    Best wishes,

  • By Christine, February 28, 2011 @ 4:00 pm

    oops that ought to be *revolves* worse thing is I actually re-read before posting! and I still missed it….. hahaha.

  • By carol4spot, February 28, 2011 @ 6:43 pm

    Hi everyone! Long time! Anyway, I hope each and every one of you who come here are doing well.
    Hilly, again, you have me worried about you. Not that you’re trying to worry me, I guess it’s just in my nature to take on plights of my fellow human beings. I feel we are all in this together. We are here to help each other. I can understand your current condition being quite stressful. Being in a trap is no fun, to say the least. I enjoyed MARLY’S advice. I thought it was right on. The stimulus of nature is truly enriching in many ways. It’s a way to refocus. Also, connecting to nature gives us purpose which in turn makes us feel special. I’ve been doing this since my extremely stressful childhood. It has helped me more than anything else I have ever tried. The woods is where I found the most connection. Nature ‘loves’ us as much as we ‘love’ it. I think once you start feeling the benefits of good healthy walks you will regain some self-confidence. Once that happens, run with it and go for the gusto! You’re self confidence will get you work and then you can regroup once the ball starts rolling. But, for heaven’s sake, please realize that you are of great value in this world and are needed as part of the ‘master plan’ !

    Christine, I hope you adjust to your new condition. It could be a good thing to have your privacy. Ofcourse, my mind is in the gutter, but hey! :)

  • By heidi33, March 1, 2011 @ 6:16 am

    Sammy. Thank-you for very much for your words. They helped me. Thank-you.
    Sometimes we don’t always understand what happens to us in life. It takes other people to put a new perspective on things.
    Sunshine is out here today after a long harsh winter. Somebody told me last week that they went to visit a farmer and he let them bottle feed some of the new born lambs. First lambs of Spring.!
    Christine, my mum felt exactly the same when I left home to study. She missed me a lot and said the house was not the same. When I was working in Spain though, she got pleasure recording my favourite music for me–I still have the music now after all the years. Perhaps you could collect some of her favourite things and photos and give them to her. You must have fine memories.

  • By hilly, March 1, 2011 @ 1:34 pm

    Christine….time to be you again I suppose.

    Carol – you’re sweet but don’t worry about me – I’ll survive I always do. the wind was too evil to go for my walk today. 70kph and bitterly cold is no joke; I hope it will be better tomorrow. The walk really helps me get things straight in my head.
    plus I spent much of yesterday afternoon and this morning taking my mum to the police and to the bank to deal with the fact that she had her Visa card stolen yesterday.
    she went to the bank ATM to check her bank balance; didn’t withdraw any money. She did this inside the bank (it’s not open on Mondays(!) but the machines are all inside) As she came out a young man went in and came out immediately. he held out a 10 euro note and said ‘you didn’t take all your money’. Of course mum should have walked away – she didn’t withdraw money so how could she have left some. But she didn’t think straight and went back into the bank. the man said ‘why don’t you do what you did before and see if it distributes money by mistake again.” So she did. And the card was ‘swallowed’ by the machine. She went to do some shopping and came home and told me what had happened. My alarm bells went off so we called the bank hotline and cancelled the card. About 2 hours later the bank called ‘have you had a problem with your card?’.
    It was a scam. the guy had some way of getting the card out and he’d seen mum’s PIN. He made 3 withdrawals of 800 in the space of 15 minutes and used the card to bet 400 euros before the card was blocked! It turned out that the police had already had 2 other reports about this so we went to make a statement. The bank had e-mailed the ATM video to the police because we gave them the details from the ticket (machine number and time). so now we wait to see if they get him. The bank refunds mum’s account (phew!)

    Oh I had to laugh….if any of you have seen french cop films you know that the cops always have cop film/TV posters on the walls in the offices. Well I hate to tell you which poster the cop had on is wall….the one some of us refer to as ‘The Imposter movie’!

  • By Sammy, March 1, 2011 @ 5:24 pm

    Hilly.. ‘The Imposter movie?’ are you referring to what I am think you are referring to? :-)

    Christine… I can relate to the sound of the ‘clock ticking’ Boy – I hate that so much that I had to get clocks that don’t make a sound- But I still have one that was a souvenir given to me and I just cannot get rid of that.. So I keep moving it from one place to another depending on where I am at that moment…

  • By JanetK, March 1, 2011 @ 7:30 pm

    Hello Everyone, I just wanted to say hello and let you know I’m still here, reading your writings. You are an impressive bunch. You are also very intimating. I feel like many who have expressed concern that your writings are “good enough” to be “accepted” by the rest. I certainly feel that. I’m concerned there is no place for me in a group who already are so close and who knows so much about each other. I will continue to read and pop in and say hello. For now, I will be hanging out waiting for a good wave to jump in and get really wet! Thank you for all that you write. You have been far more helpful than you realize. Regards, JanetK

  • By carol4spot, March 1, 2011 @ 8:02 pm

    Janet, you are just as much a part of this group as anyone. I only know these fellow bloggers from ‘hanging out’ here too. We are all in this world together and in my opinion here to help one another in this journey of life. You seem like a very kind person who is going through a tough time and I am sorry for that. Knowing people care is a huge healing factor. I do not ‘know’ you but I do really because we are all connected , and I for one do care. I am no expert and have no expert advice, but, I am reading and sending out good vibes to included!
    Sammy, hi! Good to see you back…me not like ticking clocks! Drives me insane!

  • By hilly, March 2, 2011 @ 12:53 am

    Yes Christine – the Stiller and Wilson rubbish. Personally I’ve always thought there should have been a special Oscar that year ‘best performance by original actor(s) pretending to have liked the remake during the publicity interviews’. Mr G. would have walked away with it!

    Janet you are part of a great community here.

  • By hilly, March 2, 2011 @ 12:05 pm

    I just found this….

    “But due to the fragility and perishability of human things, we should always be on the search for someone to love and by whom to be loved; indeed if affection and kindliness are lost from our life, we lose all that gives it charm…”

    Sed quoniam res humanae fragiles caducaeque sunt, semper aliqui anquirendi sunt quos diligamus et a quibus diligamur; caritate enim benevolentiaque sublata omnis est e vita sublata iucunditas.

    Cicero, Laelius de Amicitia

  • By Christine, March 2, 2011 @ 1:20 pm

    Hi Janet, I have to agree with Carol, you are as much a part of this blog as anyone of us!. The great thing about this blog for me is that we are all here because of a interest/admiration/love of Paul. Its kind of special. I hope all is going well for you. As Carol said we may not actually ‘know’ one another but here we are friends who care for one another, there ought to be more caring in this world.

    Thank you ladies for your support I’m trying to get used to living alone again. I have started writing again (just as a hobbie) to fill in some time I guess its all about adjusting to change…. everything changes.

  • By Christine, March 2, 2011 @ 1:28 pm

    Hi Hilly, I know I post a lot here (coughs nervously, waiting on the reply) but I think you will find it was our friend Sammy who mentioned the Imposter movie….. but hey thanks for the mention lol. And No I didn’t like it, just in my opinion here no one can replace those guys, to any younger members check out the original box set and you will see why!. Climbing down from my soap box now :)

  • By carol4spot, March 2, 2011 @ 2:08 pm

    this blog is under serious attack!! Set off the alarms!!!!

  • By marly, March 3, 2011 @ 12:08 pm

    Hi Janet, please feel free to share your thoughts on this blog and stop telling yourself that there’s no place for you down here.
    As far as I know this blog was never meant for just “the happy few”, so you are more than welcome down here and I’m sure that our fellow bloggers feel the same way.
    A wide variety of views/thoughts contributed by just as many different bloggers is a great opportunity for all of us to learn from each other(and subsequently learn more about ourselves).
    Just my humble thoughts.


  • By Christine, March 3, 2011 @ 3:20 pm

    Hi Pam M, Hope you are feeling better. The spam continues………so annoying!.
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, March 4, 2011 @ 2:17 am

    Hi Pam – glad to see you are better.

    Christine – whoever asked about the Imposter movie it doesn’t matter – tee hee my comment stands about the Oscar that should have been

  • By infidelabumpkin, March 4, 2011 @ 11:24 am

    thank you for that memory of you frozen by technology
    for they delight us when we need company
    thank you for that role you played exceedingly well enough
    making us kids believe that though life can be tough
    if we choose the good guys we can still enjoy that last laugh
    and we appreciate your patience when we seem quite daft.

    thank you for the talents you shared with all your love
    including your blog which keeps our faith in G-d above
    and makes us know beyond all doubt that we can be different too
    whoever you really are and whatever you really are
    or whatever perception we have of you, even from afar
    we gratefully thank you simply for just BEING you.

  • By Sarah L, March 4, 2011 @ 5:23 pm

    Paul, thank you for once again writing another stimulating post.

    In the comments section of your previous post, Pam M and I briefly discussed what ‘home’ meant to us. After reading the comments there and your recent blog post, it seems that the definition of ‘home’ varies from one person to another. In that message thread I said that ‘So for me, ‘home’ is about breaking away from being that child, standing on my own two feet, liking myself and being with people I choose to be with.’ I still feel that to be true for me. There are times when my ‘home’ will have things taken from it, or it will be changed but as long as I feel I have an inner calm, a sense of contentment, I hope ‘home’ will help me to cope with anything bad that happens.
    I’ve known people who never really settle in one place for long. They have a need to physically move around. For some that can happen because they have a desire to explore. However, for the people I am thinking about right now, it was because they weren’t happy. They weren’t happy with who they were. It was almost as if they wanted to escape from being them. I can understand that. I’ve felt like that many times in the past. But right now, I am happy being in my bricks and mortar home because I am surrounded by people I love and because I feel inner contentment.
    I feel that wherever I go both physically and emotionally, my ‘home’ will see me through and help me.

    Best Wishes,

  • By Softly, March 4, 2011 @ 5:54 pm

    Home…., don’t feel it here, nor anywhere else.
    it’s not you who’s not welcoming, nor is it me.
    Home meant alone for so long, sheltered from whatever, alone.
    Now I’m not so sure.

    Although the feeling remains: “me strange”
    and the comfort that gives is still warm,
    I do feel I’m lacking something, some way to connect….
    Is it me that drifted to far? Or is it you who can’t reach?
    Or is it neither, is it just time, just space, just….

    And we both move on, no need to wait or to hurry.
    See another in glimpses, interpreted always wrong,
    But close enough to heart and cared enough by soul.
    We each take a step, a plunge and watch the other grow.


  • By xtexan86, March 4, 2011 @ 6:44 pm

    Maybe it’s just my imagination, but I feel the course of this blog has been evolving over the last several months, away from what it appeared to be originally designed to do.

    I looked forward, in the beginning, to hearing some of PMG’s thoughts. There really did seem to be a ‘shared’ exchange of thoughts and opinions, with Paul commenting personally to a few posters.

    It seemed like there was more involvement on the blog when that was happening. Instead of just a handful of posters, like there is now, more people seemed willing to contribute. It makes me cringe now, when people come here and say they don’t feel like their opinions matter. Of course, no one is preventing them from sharing, but I’m at a loss to explain why they do feel this way.

    I’ve also seen a few people, myself included, try to pose interesting questions to the host, only to have those fall on…well, I’ll just say I haven’t seen a reply yet. But what results out of this setup is just a one-way exchange of ideas. Not really my cuppa tea.

    Could be I’m the only one with this opinion; if so, I’ll just go back to lurking. Thanks for listening, xt

  • By hilly, March 5, 2011 @ 3:36 am

    one of the things that scares me the most right now is that my present ‘home’ (the country, not the house) is the place I have been for the longest period of my life. I’ve lived here for 23 years now – and most of them in this one house! Until coming to this town in France I had never lived more than 6 full-time years (is college really hole?) and TBH I prefer life like that. I don’t want to feel I’ve taken root anywhere….and when I can’t see the door that leads to a new ‘home’ it scares me.
    I can’t and won’t ‘accept’ that I’m tied down….I need to move on.

  • By infidelabumpkin, March 6, 2011 @ 8:20 pm

    Hi! Maybe we can appreciate what he has done because PMG did write us a pretty decent blog and we can come back to his former posts if we wish to do so. I also feel that he has thoroughly explained that he can only write when he is ‘moved’ to write.. and maybe we can simply wait until the next time he is moved to do so. The hardest thing to do is to FEEL that something (like writing) is an obligation.. the moment he feels that, I don’t think he’d feel comfy anymore.. I am sure he reads his blog own blog anyway, so perhaps the best thing to do is to appreciate him whether he writes or not.

  • By infidelabumpkin, March 6, 2011 @ 8:26 pm

    we accept and love him whether he writes or not in his blog right? this is not to be misunderstood (again)as expressing an opinion contrary to anyone.

    he had made it clear that he can write only when he is ‘moved’ to write, but has also made it VERY clear that it does not mean that just because he doesn’t we should feel less valued. maybe he’s trying to teach us something for all we know..

  • By Pam Meserve, March 6, 2011 @ 8:34 pm

    I for one have been enriched by Paul’s topics as well as the great majority of posts related to his topics. You get out of it what you want or what you put into it. Keep in mind how blessed we are to have Paul share what he does when he does…it IS a gift IMHO. And most times, Paul covers a lot of questions by relating his next topic to it, a good example is his carrying forward the previous post I started on ‘Finding Your WAy Home’ and what that means to you. I found the replies interesting and full of ‘thought’ quite frankly.

    I think a lot of readers do find something useful here, and not everyone feels comfortable writing, even if it would be great for them to give themselves a chance.

    Just my thoughts…


  • By fee, March 7, 2011 @ 3:40 am

    I know I haven’t posted here for a while but I have been lurking reading all the very interesting comments, thoughts etc. Just wasn’t in the mood to reply. Suppose it is a bit like as you say Paul, one has to be moved before you can write so I can understand where you are coming from there.
    Janet, Welcome to the blog and of course your comments are as valid as anyone else’s. You sound like a strong lady and you will get through the problems that you are currently facing in your life.

    Hilly, you know I am always there for you whenever needed and you are also a very strong lady. I shall email you.

    “Home!” Well, how to define it? For me it is where I feel safe and secure with my family around. My nest, where I can retreat when the outside world is pressing in on me and I can meditate/daydream whatever you wish to call it.
    I am lucky that I love my home and the village we live in. Luckily we have a bus service which though infrequent gets us into the city whenever necessary.
    Growing up in a smallish town on the outskirts of Glasgow in the 50′s and 60′s was good back then as there was a strong sense of community but now it has all changed for the worse. We were on the edge of the countryside so had the benefits of both worlds.
    Nowadays both of us feel hemmed in if we live in suburbia or even worse the city. It is all way too crowded and noisy. We need to be able to see the fields and the trees and hear the farmyard sounds and luckily we can do so as we are on the edge of our village. Thankfully, the side that is NOT going to encroached on by the imminent threat of expansion by our nearest town, brought on by “Big Brother” in the city. Aka our State Government who seem intent in covering all available good farming land with high density housing!! Where our food and water is going to come from doesn’t seem to enter their heads!!

    As for mind, soul etc. I agree with you Paul that they are separate entities. Our mind/ego would have us deny that as it wants to control us completely and a lot of us these days have lost touch with our souls and our inner child.

    I do believe in reincarnation and that we are all a part of God/Source/Spirit or whatever name you wish to give the Energy that created everything.
    I do realise though that everyone has their own beliefs etc on that and I respect theirs as I would hope they would respect mine. We are all on the same road just using different names.
    As for “floating” I am very happily doing that these days. We don’t have all that much but we are content with what we do have, namely a roof over our heads, enough food on the table and reasonably good health.

  • By heidi33, March 8, 2011 @ 5:38 am

    Many times, I get stressed out. Last week, a friend gave me a Reiki healing compact disc. I know about Reiki head massage but can one of you please explain to me how music can heal our mind and body??? It says a Japanese doctor learnt about Reiki in Buddhism and introduced the theories.
    Well, yesterday I sat down and listened to the disc–very calming music till neighbours started slamming doors and I nearly flew out of my skin. We look for peace and quiet and external influences destroy it.

    Coming back to what Mr. Glaser wrote above “The mind doesn’t feel”. How does music or different tones affect us then?
    For example, a mother could sing a lullaby and the child is soothed and sleeps. Why??
    Nobody likes to be shouted at but if somebody talks to us in a quiet, calm manner then it is more acceptable. Why?

    Well, I’ll try this Reiki healing music again and see if it works!

    A question then, how does the brain process external sounds and translate them for us?

  • By hilly, March 8, 2011 @ 8:10 am

    “I know about Reiki head massage but can one of you please explain to me how music can heal our mind and body???”

    this is what I can tell you.

    Music therapy has been a part of the work with mentally ill people for many years. It is not intended to ‘heal’ their illnesses but it does relieve their symptoms. It helps them to relax or to focus on other things.
    I personally used music as art of a program to help stutterers. No not the Logue technique as seen in The King’s Speech (although we were still making them ‘sing it out’ in the 1970s in London) but to help get a sense of rhythm and timing. Also we used it in extensive relaxation techniques with the same stammerers.
    Music has also been used successfully (again I was working on the program in the 1970s) with “educationally challenged” (or whatever the current PC for mentally handicapped is) children. We also used it with some autistic children and other language disordered kids. Again we didn’t think music would ‘cure’ their disorders but it does help enormously in work with coordination and with concentration. And that in turn helps the “patient” to overcome the organisational and sometimes physical difficulties that are causing his/her linguistic problem.
    An anecdote. A man who had a stroke was having a lot of trouble with retrieving his language skills. He could only relate to something in his life by the music of the era. We only found this out after he flew into a seemingly irrational rage when he heard something on the radio on the hospital day room. by carefully choosing music (his wife helped a lot with this) we were able to work on his memmory

    Now of course it is a regular ‘tool’ in working with Altzheimer’s patients

  • By hilly, March 8, 2011 @ 8:18 am

    “A question then, how does the brain process external sounds and translate them for us?”

    In the case of language it sifts and filters what it is fed. A baby is born capable of learning and using every language that exists in the world. but because the language center is only stimulated by it hears around it it loses the capacity for all languages except the one(s) it hears at home and later outside the home. The infant ‘babbles’ trying all the possible sounds it can make with tongue and lips etc – but again only the feedback sticks. Baby makes a movement that comes from sucking and it sounds like ‘dadadad’ “yes s/he said daddy”…and so baby learns to say ‘daddy’
    So our brains filter out what it ‘hears’…and it then uses other information that it has acquired to decide what it likes and doesn’t like. When does that break down? The tone deaf are unable to hear a tune….the color blind get red and green confused. That’s the easy bit…the tough bit is explaining why it is some people think the sounds coming out of the speakers in the Mall are music and I wonder why the poor soul doesn’t get something to treat the chronic constipation that is causing him/her to wail like that. Why I like jazz and Monteverdi and others like Amy Winehouse. Somewhere along the line personal taste cuts in…is it conditioning? Not always – I still love to rock along with Janis Joplin, or the Stones but I “grew up” on Getz and Beethoven.

  • By hilly, March 9, 2011 @ 2:04 am

    totally off topic but I can’t help wondering who finds it so funny to inundate this website with spam….pathetic little non-minds that they are.

  • By heidi33, March 9, 2011 @ 2:40 am

    Well, you learn something new every day.
    Thanks for telling me, Hilly.–I didn’t know that music is used with patients with Alzheimers or to help people with stammers.

  • By Frances, March 9, 2011 @ 2:56 am

    Hi Folks,
    Just dipped in to say Hello and hope that 2011 is treating you all well. I was just browsing through what has been said here, and glad to see everyone is still ready to put across their opinions!! LOL.
    I hope Christine you are not too sad that your living on your own now, but you should look on this as “your” time now, after all you have raised your kids and sent your daughter off into the world with the strength and confidence to live life to the full and of course that’s some thing to be proud of so now, with a job well done relax and consider what “YOU” want to do, and most of all ENJOY!!.

    Hi to all who spend time here,
    and as always,
    Take Care.

  • By hilly, March 9, 2011 @ 5:02 am

    glad to have been of help Heidi.

    You know you actually answered your own question
    “very calming music”…when you are calm you help the healing process, emotionally, mentally and physically

    You raised another point about tone of voice; babies (like animals!) respond to the tone of voice before they understand the meaning of the words. If you say to a baby in a loving voice ‘I hate you you ugly little brat’ it will smile. If you say aggressively ‘I love you’ it will cry.

  • By hilly, March 9, 2011 @ 5:04 am

    oops…hadn’t finished…
    If you have a dog or a cat try the same thing – tell it you hate it in a cheerful voice and doggie will wag his tail and puss will stay close. Say ‘I love you ‘in an angry voice and Felix will walk off and Fido will growl at you.

    That is why we run into trouble with the written word – no-one can hear what we mean.

  • By Terri, March 9, 2011 @ 6:54 am

    Hilly, Your last sentence is part of the reason I “lurk” but rarely post. I find it enjoyable to converse one on one in person. I miss the voice tones and facial expressions that say so much. I like reading what is discussed and Paul’s words make me do a lot of thinking but I feel safer just ‘listening’. Your animal comments are so true. There is a neighbor’s bull dog that comes over everyday [she rather live here] and if I even greet her too loudly she wants to go back home. Fortunately, we are both quiet beings and can spend many happy hours together.

  • By hilly, March 9, 2011 @ 1:26 pm

    you can do it Pam!

    if you can get the avatar thingy to work that would be great too – they never replied! (I’m surprised? No I’m not surprised!)

  • By Christine, March 10, 2011 @ 1:37 pm

    Hi Frances, Its nice to hear from you. Hope all is going well. I’m ok, its taking some getting used to but life is full of changes huh?.
    Funny my idea of ‘home’ always was where me and my kids were. Our little unit, just lately this house has felt just that a house. The ‘home’ feeling just hasn’t been the same. Maybe I just don’t like change…. I know its inevitable but I’m not one for change some thrive on it, me? I tend to like the normal routine; old fashioned me? just a bit. Even starting to feel the ‘old’ now too! Anyway, hope all is well for everyone.

    Hi Pam M, glad to see the spam is sorted! :)

  • By Christine, March 10, 2011 @ 1:39 pm

    Seems to be working fine Pam. :)

  • By Saskia, March 10, 2011 @ 2:22 pm

    Testing… x

  • By Christine, March 10, 2011 @ 2:57 pm

    Oops, kind of spoke too soon there Pam! Don’t know how you did it but phew its nice to be back……testing I am back right? lol ;)

  • By hilly, March 11, 2011 @ 12:57 am


  • By hilly, March 11, 2011 @ 12:59 am

    cool – there is now a topbar giving access to edit the profile (shame I still can’t add an avatar)

    and I love the message because I forgot the secuirty question

  • By fee, March 11, 2011 @ 3:50 am

    Testing!! BTW Just heard about that awful earthquake near Japan and the associated Tsunami!!
    Hope you stay safe Paul and Pam!! With any luck it won’t hit the LA coastline!

  • By Christine, March 11, 2011 @ 1:23 pm

    Hi everyone, Terrible isn’t it Fee?. I’m sure our thoughts and prayers go out to those in Japan, and their families/friends.
    Also a take care and stay safe to Paul and Pam from me too.

  • By hilly, March 11, 2011 @ 2:28 pm

    only just got in from a long (and boring) meeting. The last I heard before going out (around 3pm Paris time) was that they thought it could hit the Mexico coast ad that Hawaii was on alert (as if they didn’t have enough with the volcano acting up!) and that the Philippines is also on alert.

    I had to laugh at the dear BBC though when the interviewer was talking to someone on Vanuatu
    “scientists tell us that people in low lying areas could be in danger”…gee willikers I wonder if it took a PhD to work that one out!
    Well you have to laugh…because the way poor Mother Earth is trying to tell us that we need to clean up our act if we don’t laugh we’ll cry…a river, an ocean…a Tsunami?

  • By hilly, March 11, 2011 @ 2:49 pm

    good grief – I’ve just seen that a minor wave hit Oregon…..looking at the ‘fallout’ map it looks like the Californian coast will be OK – but the not Mexico and Chili.

    Now I’m wondering where it is my ex-brother -in-law (and still good friend of my sister!) lives – it’s a small island off New Zealand is all I know

  • By PamT, March 13, 2011 @ 8:43 am

    OK, apologies if the following appears twice – I’m experiencing a glitch!

    Whilst I agree that we often reap what we sow in environmental terms, I don’t share the view that every jaw-dropping manifestation of nature’s infinite power comes as a direct or indirect consequence of humankind’s undoubted abuse of the natural world. There have been inter-continental plate movements leading to volcanic eruptions, earthquakes and tsunamis long before we started polluting this planet with such assiduousness (although the highly questionable decision to locate several of the Japanese nuclear plants along seismic fault lines has led to further potential for catastrophe).

    To imagine that we have the wherewithal to prevent or manipulate the kind of cataclysmic natural event which has struck Japan may be understandable but is, in my opinion, an example of humankind’s compulsion to control and assert power – the illusion that we can somehow eventually stop ‘bad things’ happening. My limited understanding is that the Japanese Shinto faith does not place humankind at the centre of the universe and therefore regards nature as something we humans should revere and accommodate ourselves around and not vice versa. I guess there’s the potential for a whole big discussion around how the production of nuclear energy sits alongside that belief system but, as I suppose the vast majority of us also do (myself included), the population demands the provision of energy in huge quantities so that heating systems, air conditioning, laptops, phones and vehicles, together with a whole raft of other power-hungry devices, will all conveniently operate at the touch of a button.

    This morning I was shocked to hear that over 10,000 people are missing, feared dead. And, as ever when there are incidents where it’s so challenging to relate to the vast numbers involved, I have to remind myself that it’s so much, much more than a statistic. These are not faceless, nameless individuals. It’s over 10,000 human beings and their loved ones. Every single one has a name; every single one has a story; every single one has hopes, fears and desires, as I do. My thoughts go out to them. And, as I was recently reminded, many animals and other living beings will have also lost their lives.

    I believe there’s a space between laughing and crying.

    Just another perspective …..


  • By hilly, March 13, 2011 @ 12:08 pm

    great points there Pam
    I don’t go along with the everything we do is what is wrong with the world theory either – although we have done a lot of damage in the past 5 or 6 thousand years!
    I don’t decry global warming but I do point to history – ice ages have come and gone – great freezes that solidified the Thames and the Seine and many other European rivers since history recorded these things etc.

    Mankind does some dumb things too – as you point our – building nuclear plants on a seismic rift is asking for trouble even if the requirements took in a 6 to 7 Richter variant in the structure (and the videos coming out of Tokyo show how well the Japanese know how to build to resist.
    Ever since ‘man’ learnt to make fire we have been pumping pollution into the atmosphere – car exhausts or coal fires – those of us who saw the last great London Smogs know as well as those who knew LA at it’s worst – the pollution is the same and does the same damage.
    So what is the solution – live without heat and power? that would be dumb! But find a way of using natural power sources…that’s another idea.
    The irony of the Tsunami is it shows what power there is to be harnessed if only we could work out how.

    In the meantime a thought for the tens of thousands still unaccounted for and for the dead and bereaved trying to clear up the mess

  • By PamT, March 14, 2011 @ 3:56 am


    With regards to the supply side, focusing upon the natural energy from sun, wind and water currents is the long-term, sustainable way forward in terms of the generation of power, I believe. However, I think it will take time, political and populist support and will require extremely significant sums in terms of investment for technology and infrastructures. The commitment of we, the ‘consumers’, cannot just exist in idealistic terms, but also needs to be demonstrated in a willingness to pay higher energy/fuel bills and taxes to fund the necessary investment. We also potentially have to be prepared to accept the sometimes intrusive appearance of wind farms and the like within our near environments.

    On the question of demand, I don’t think it’s a matter of the extreme of living without heat and power. Many of us have been born and raised in consumerist cultures, in which we have been encouraged to actively pursue the acquisition of material goods. Not only can they say something about our ‘status’, we are told, but the implication is that they will also bring us happiness and there’s a massive industry based upon these premises. So we hunger and hunger and hunger. And we consume and consume and consume (and the promotion and production of the goods which feeds all the consuming also eats up gargantuan amounts of energy). The problem is that whilst we experience pleasure and gratification once we have acquired whatever it is, the feeling gradually dissipates and we are left looking for our next hit. And so it goes on. We consume, but can’t experience lasting satiation of our appetite …. and the craving for happiness won’t go away.

    The way I see it, following other avenues to nurture a more sustainable inner state of peaceful contentment (whatever life happens to fling at us), not only has the potential to help us extricate ourselves from that vicious cycle, but also demands far less in terms of resources. Of course, changing the mind-set acquired over a lifetime doesn’t happen overnight ……. as with other aspects, it’s an ongoing work in progress.


  • By Christine, March 14, 2011 @ 5:30 am

    After the events in Japan, doesn’t it put a perspective on our lives?. Watching the news and seeing the devastation to the country is heartbreaking. Can you imagine how it must feel to lose everything?. Some will be materialistic, for others the lives of their loved ones. It brings in a reminder of just how fragile our lives really are.
    So much suffering in this world in one form or another. It kind of makes me think ‘Just what is this life all about?’.
    Thank goodness for the rescue teams that have flown in from the US and England, hopefully there will still be people out there just waiting to be saved. For instance a 60 year old man found 9 miles out to sea floating on the roof of his house. Hope has to be held onto.
    We are as humans resilient; I hope with all my heart that whatever good vibes or prayers, depending on what one believes in, reach Japan.
    Take care everyone,

  • By hilly, March 14, 2011 @ 7:29 am

    Thank goodness for the rescue teams that have flown in from the US and England,
    and from France and Germany too…

    I saw a bus load of Japanese tourists here today and couldn’t help wondering if they were putting on a brave face not knowing if everything is OK at home.

  • By hilly, March 14, 2011 @ 8:32 am

    “Thank goodness for the rescue teams that have flown in from the US and England,”

    and one of the best canine rescue teams in the world from Germany and the French ‘civil rescue’ brigade ….and probably a few more we have forgotten. They are always ready to fly out to help with these disasters.
    Real HEROES

  • By hilly, March 14, 2011 @ 12:19 pm

    weird! first my post didn’t appear then two of them came up! weird.

  • By Christine, March 14, 2011 @ 2:03 pm

    My apologies Hilly, I ought to have mentioned others too, however where ever they are from thank goodness we have them huh?. As you said real heroes.
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, March 16, 2011 @ 12:54 am

    I don’t know about others but I’ve had a lot of virus warnings and thing s recently – I wonder if the bots are trying to attack those who post here to. I advise everyone to run a good and reliable anti-virus and anti malware program. If you want free stuff use Avast and Malwarebytes. DO NOT rely on MacaFee or Norton as provided with your computer when you bought them – the versions are programmed to fail in the weeks before the renewal – and payment – date!
    I know Pam will back me up on Spyware Doctor (she out me on to it) – its isn’t free but it is excellent

  • By Kate, March 16, 2011 @ 1:11 am

    Hi Pam,

    Good job, congratulation !

  • By hilly, March 16, 2011 @ 3:16 am

    fingers crossed!

  • By hilly, March 16, 2011 @ 12:34 pm

    I know this is OT but it came up when Pam got the avatar thing going.
    I finally got a reply from Gravatar…only it isn’t a reply! I got a mail welcoming me to Gravatar and giving me an account confirmation link…and guess what. it tells me that my e-mail isn’t known – that’s right; the e-mail they sent the authentication link to.
    I’ve sent them a new message in the hope that there is one intelligent human being somewhere in their organisation!

  • By BeckyB, March 16, 2011 @ 6:13 pm

    The brain and the heart are both organs, the heart pumps blood, the brain thinks and reasons, so where does the feeling of love come from? Where do are other feelings come from? We like to say it “comes from the heart”, but really, doesn’t it come from the brain? Or, are feelings and love a separate entity? One that lives on after we die?
    One thing that keeps me afloat is my love for others, (even if they don’t always know how much I care and love them). “Home” for me is where ever my relatives are, and at times, when I have traveled, I’ve gotten very homesick, but usually only when I am not traveling with family. Other times I have a great wanderlust, an urge to just go *somewhere*, to have a spontaneous adventure. I haven’t figured out where it comes from or why I have it sometimes and not others.
    Maybe my wanting to be spontaneous is me trying to get some control over my life, when at times I feel like I have no control over my life, if I have new experiences, I am attempting to take control??

  • By hilly, March 17, 2011 @ 12:59 am

    thanks Pammeh(!) they may need a little time with a dictionary because I unleashed my full sarcasm mode!

  • By Christine, March 23, 2011 @ 2:20 pm

    Just a thought here to anyone who has ever wondered ‘Why do we dream?’. Do you ever wake up in the morning feeling more tired than you were before going to bed?. Is this because our ‘minds’ have had no chance to re-charge because the mind never stops?.
    I’m having the same dream over and over. Now believe it or not I tell myself in the dream ‘Oh here we go again!’ as if telling myself in the dream will change it. Does anyone else out there remember telling themselves they are dreaming? even as they are dreaming? sounds crazy but its true.
    What is the point to dreams?. It would seem to me that the mind still looks for answers in our sleep. You know the dream where nothing seems to fit? it jumps from thought to thought?. You wake up totally confused by the whole thing?.
    I kind of jump from periods of insomnia where I’d just love to get a good nights sleep, to nightmares when all I want to do is wake up!. That’s another thing when in your dream/nightmare your mind is telling you to wake up, and you do!. Is it like a safety valve? too much info to try to process so it brings you to your senses by waking?.
    Just a thought or two from someone who would love a good nights sleep…..

  • By hilly, March 24, 2011 @ 12:23 pm

    I was taught psychology by a man who referred to ‘Old Siggy Fraud’ so I’m not one for dream interpretation!
    I think it is more likely that dreams are the moments when our brains go back over things – or rehearse them – or just ‘chew them over’ to make sense of our lives. The events come across in symbols or in a strange form because we are also in a fantasy world when we dream – our brain wants to ‘soften the blow’….but then that wouldn’t explain horrific nightmares.

    I have insomniac phases when I don’t sleep much for days – and then crash out big time! that’s when I dream….and when I frequently spend the night knowing I’m neither really asleep nor awake – like swimming just beneath the surface. That’s when the dreams are the most unlike reality.

  • By Christine, March 24, 2011 @ 2:27 pm

    Hi Hilly, I’ve spent a few hours on various websites on dreams/nightmares. There are many so called theories on why we dream, their meaning etc. Nightmares, which I tend to have a lot of, I think either come from some memory that won’t be pushed to one side no matter how hard you try. Or maybe they come from our deepest fears, you know the things we think of in the middle of the night?. We all have our own fears and I think sometimes the more we consciously try to keep them at bay the more they come back to haunt us in our sleep!.
    You ever get the feeling that we try to run away from ourselves?. Is ‘blocking’ a thought, a memory, the same as being in denial?. Maybe being too scared to face those feelings of fear?. One of the first things we as humans tend to do is try to run from fear. Even in a nightmare we can be running from fear. Is this making sense to anyone but me? lol. Sometimes the fear of fear itself can be worse than the problem. One more thing here has anyone ever woke up briefly in the middle of a dream and fallen back to sleep and picked up on the dream again?. Like you had just pressed pause on your remote?. The mind’s a funny thing….

  • By Terri, March 24, 2011 @ 5:36 pm

    Hi Christine, Everyone that has spoke with me about dreams have said they had the dreams that stop when they wake up and start again when they fall back to sleep, me included. Sometimes they seem to go on forever. Dreaming is a favorite topic of mine. Terri

  • By hilly, March 25, 2011 @ 4:29 am

    we dream in the shallowest part of our sleep – just after going to sleep or just before waking…if you wake, turn over and go back to sleep, your brain may pick up where it left off in its own version of “stay tuned for the next exciting episode….”
    Although we think they last a long time the average dream lasts about 2 minutes (and is indicated by Rapid Eye Movement when a sleeper is observed)

  • By Christine, March 25, 2011 @ 11:06 am

    Hi Terri and Hilly, I find it interesting just how our minds still try to figure stuff out even when we are sleeping. Is there ever a time when our mind just chills? relaxes? maybe not. Our bodies can relax but how about our minds?. Peace of mind has to be the most wonderful thing if one can reach that point. Maybe the sense of ‘finding your way home’ may not be a material thing more a deep need to belong. Everyone I believe needs someone. Maybe its that knowing for sure you fit, you’re needed or wanted as another human being that gives us a stronger sense of oneself. I think in this troubled world of ours its sometimes hard to reach out to another. For fear of rejection or lack of trust. Maybe we tend to ‘overthink’ everything, and talk ourselves out of things before we’ve had a chance to try.
    Just a thought or two!. :)

  • By hilly, March 25, 2011 @ 2:57 pm

    good thinking there Christine:
    Maybe the sense of ‘finding your way home’ may not be a material thing more a deep need to belong. Everyone I believe needs someone. Maybe its that knowing for sure you fit, you’re needed or wanted as another human being that gives us a stronger sense of oneself. I think in this troubled world of ours its sometimes hard to reach out to another. For fear of rejection or lack of trust. Maybe we tend to ‘overthink’ everything, and talk ourselves out of things before we’ve had a chance to try.

    Right now (just before midnight in France and just before 4pm in LA) I hope Paul is having a great birthday and feeling at home with himself and those he chooses to spend the day with

  • By heidi33, March 26, 2011 @ 1:57 am

    From a story by Ernest Hemingway

    “Home is an idea not a place”

  • By hilly, March 26, 2011 @ 12:11 pm

    good one (even if I thin Hemingway is totally over-rated)

  • By hilly, March 29, 2011 @ 3:44 am

    eddies on a stream…
    I walked by the river today and I stopped to watch the way the water seems to turn back on itself with the currents that ripple around the remains of our famous half-ruined bridge here in Avignon. It seemed to echo the way life takes us forward and back and turns us in circles. These currents in the Rhone have always been dangerous; navigating them was a survival skill for centuries….
    and so life is like a river…we float; sometimes we have to swim against the flow; but in the end we come to our final destination.

  • By hilly, March 30, 2011 @ 8:10 am

    today I walked the full 8km (5 miles) – it took me an hour because I stopped to take a few photos.
    Every year a local association commissions installations along the canal walk. So I took photos for you all to see what a wonderful place I go to take my mind home.
    The photos aren’t in order (Photobucket got the better of me) they were taken with my HTC Smartphone (not too bad!)
    The ‘gateway to the sun’ is positioned to face the sunrise but I took the photos at a 3-day interval to show the work in progress, and I was there around 10am both times (it is the end of my walk). The ‘reed clouds’ are almost hidden between the trees, suspended on fine wires. ‘Proliferation’…I can’t choose if this is my favorite or not; sorry I couldn’t put the close up next to the long shot. The little ruined building was once a ‘cabanon’ a tiny house for the workers in the fields and vines. And finally… the one I think somehow fits this thread….’steps towards us’ a series of feet making their way along the water…it is still chill in the mornings here – are they blue with cold?

    here’s the link:

  • By Christine, April 1, 2011 @ 2:35 pm

    I was talking with a friend last night, trying to put the world to rights…lol. We got into all kinds of conversations. He’s a really nice guy kind of goes with the flow; takes a lot to get him ruffled. We got on about our reason for being here. In his opinion we spend way too much time thinking about our lives, and not enough living them. He has a point. I tend to think we are all here for a purpose; maybe its up to each individual to find the reason. We search for the answers and some find it, others don’t. Perhaps we have a whole list of things we have to accomplish.
    Its that making a difference that matters isn’t it?. Would I be missed if I wasn’t here tomorrow?. You see, I don’t think in my life I have done anything that important. I’m ordinary.
    When I look around and see the great things others have done with their lives, I think I fall short. Not for the want of trying but maybe not everyone has that ‘special’ quality.
    You know the saying ‘Life is what you make it?’ I see it another way…maybe its more a case of what others make it. For all different reasons in life things aren’t always the way they ought to be. Sometimes it feels like you are heading in the totally different direction to everyone else; kind of like in a supermarket and all the shoppers are coming at you! no going with the flow there!. If our lives are like a flowing stream, how do we know if we are heading in the right direction down or up that stream?. Is it really our choice which direction we flow in or are we spun around so much we totally lose direction?. My friend would argue that you hold onto your direction no matter what. Me? I think sometimes its just hard enough being able to float.
    Just a few thoughts.

  • By hilly, April 1, 2011 @ 11:51 pm

    You see, I don’t think in my life I have done anything that important. I’m ordinary.

    You are a mother Christine and your daughter is witness to you being a good one IMO….believe me that is ‘important’.

  • By hilly, April 1, 2011 @ 11:56 pm

    If our lives are like a flowing stream, how do we know if we are heading in the right direction down or up that stream?. Is it really our choice which direction we flow in or are we spun around so much we totally lose direction?. My friend would argue that you hold onto your direction no matter what. Me? I think sometimes its just hard enough being able to float.

    Good point….

  • By marly, April 2, 2011 @ 2:29 am

    “Me? I think sometimes its just hard enough being able to float….”

    You got me thinking, Christine!

    I don’t think that I’ve ever been able to float, on the contrary, I would say!
    It’s been like fighting in order to keep my head above the water in order to prevent myself from drowning for a long, long time……
    Right now I feel very tired and how I wish I could allow myself to float.

    “Allow myself???”
    I see myself typing this and I wonder if it really is as simple as it sounds?
    Do I have such a choice while I often feel like all I’m doing here is trying to survive?
    This insight, that I’m wasting my life away by feeling helpless, fearful, desperate and angry and above all,out of control, haunts me.
    I’m not getting any younger and I often feel like time is running out……

    Sometimes, during those rare moments of awareness I’m able to see how I’m ruled by my ego.
    How I’m very busy pleasing everyone around me in order to feel appreciated/liked/loved, etc.
    For a very long time I didn’t realize that a deep fear for rejection was/is one of my strongest motivators. Another one of my “pet” fears is lack of control.
    So, maybe I’m also such a “pleaser” because by being(or acting) pleasant I’m “provoking” other people to react accordingly towards me, in other words, I’m in control of their reactions (or at least that’s what my ego ,on a subconscious level, likes me to believe.

    Do I see you shaking your heads, saying:”Marly, it doesn’t work that way! You can’t control the way other people think about you , you can’t prevent them from criticizing you, disliking you, etc.
    Well, gradually I start to see that in spite of being reasonable intelligent and having had some life experience in lots of ways I’m still the (spoilt) child I once was.
    If I’m a good girl I’ll get whatever my little heart desires, won’t I?
    Well, it took me a very long time to see that indeed, it doesn’t work that way!
    People often disappoint me by not living up to my expectations and that hurts immense and often I find myself literally overwhelmed with an anger I can’t even begin to describe.
    I can see now how my ego presents these expectations of mine as homemade truths.
    In other words, it’s all in my mind and I react accordingly to what I believe to be real and true.

    It’s clear to me that I’m not making myself very happy.
    I acknowledge that “making myself happy” is my very own responsibility.
    It’s tempting to believe that other people are to blame for how I’m feeling and it’s so easy to point an angry finger towards my parents, friends, colleagues or my boss and view myself as an powerless victim.
    Seeing myself as a victim means giving up and denying the responsibility I have towards myself.
    Facing this means facing what I really want and go for it in spite of the risks this may involve.
    It ‘s very scary even thinking about it….. what do I really want?
    What would make me feel really happy?

    So here I am, wondering who the heck I truly am?
    Do I know this tired looking person in my mirror?
    I mean, she looks familiar but do I “know” her?
    Who is she without the need/the urge to please?
    Who is she without the fear to fail, to disappoint?
    Who is she without the fear to show her vulnerability?
    Who is she when she gives up her need for control?

    As you see I’m carrying around a heavy load and again, while I’m typing this down, it occurs to me that it’s rather obvious why ,at this point in my life any way, I am not able to float.
    It’s also obvious that whilst I’m often not able to control the direction in which my life is heading, thanks to my awareness(even though this sometimes feels like a curce!) this insight gives me the choice/opportunity to reflect(over and over again) on myself. How did I get here? Do I wish to stay here or do I prefer to move on, what’s keeping me here? What is holding me back and what can I do now, right here to make my life a bit lighter?
    It demands a great deal of soul searching and honesty of me to answer all these questions.
    I think I’m going to need a lot of compassion for myself.

    Maybe one day I’ll be able to acknowledge that indeed I can float.

    Just a lot of thoughts…..
    Have a nice spring weekend!

  • By hilly, April 2, 2011 @ 3:17 am

    there’s something strange happening here Pam….I posted earlier. I signed out and came back later but I couldn’t see the recent posts until I logged in again….

  • By Christine, April 2, 2011 @ 9:32 am

    Hi Hilly, Thanks my friend. This brain of mine does seem to work sometimes…lol.

    Hi Marly, Now its my turn to think! great comments there. I can understand your comments. None of us are getting any younger are we?. I worry about that too. Have I done everything I should?. Are we meant to be settled/content and just basically ‘sorted’ by the time we reach our 40′s and above?.
    No matter how good/reasonable we think we are we can never please everyone. I don’t think its wrong to want to please others. Some by their nature are just very caring people. I’d sooner be caring as not give a second thought to anyone.
    Don’t we all need to feel appreciated/loved?. I agree with that too. I guess we are only as important as others make us feel. Everyone strives for love don’t they?.
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, April 2, 2011 @ 11:13 am

    This insight, that I’m wasting my life away by feeling helpless, fearful, desperate and angry and above all,out of control, haunts me.
    I’m not getting any younger and I often feel like time is running out……

    Marly, I picked this to quote and then as I read through the rest of your post I found myself saying ‘me too….me too…..oh yes….’

    Hey, the fact that we are able to look at ourselves and ask these questions must mean that we are getting something right…mustn’t it?

    There’s an old saying – ‘a trouble aired is a trouble shared’….

    It’s also obvious that whilst I’m often not able to control the direction in which my life is heading, thanks to my awareness(even though this sometimes feels like a curse!) this insight gives me the choice/opportunity to reflect(over and over again) on myself. How did I get here? Do I wish to stay here or do I prefer to move on, what’s keeping me here? What is holding me back and what can I do now, right here to make my life a bit lighter?
    It demands a great deal of soul searching and honesty of me to answer all these questions.
    I think I’m going to need a lot of compassion for myself.

    I’m standing at yet another choice of paths in the woods….and I’m s*** scared that as usual I’ll choose the wrong one. But on the other hand….all the wrong paths I’ve chosen over the past 35 years have brought me towhere I am today (for better or worse and frequently both) and made me who I am today (I’m tempted to say for richer or poorer and definitely poorer…in more than one sense: I have lost money and self-confidence over the past 15 years….a lot of it in both cases). So maybe I had more control than I thought I did?
    Maybe I have more control now – I do at least learn by experience even if the lesson is ‘don’t do that again!’

    I think I’ve made my decision…I’ve decided to take the risk….
    I hope I have enough self-compassion to be able to go forward without scaring myself out of it.

  • By hilly, April 2, 2011 @ 12:40 pm

    so much for intelligent technology!

  • By hilly, April 2, 2011 @ 12:58 pm

    I know this site has been attacked – but it seems a bit daft that if by any reason Pam isn’t available to log in – other people’s comments won’t show after all quite a lot of us post frequently…or does it just go hysterical if someone posts 2 or 3 times in succession?

  • By hilly, April 3, 2011 @ 1:41 am

    take heart Pam – Live Journal is under the same attack and they are a lot less efficient at dealing with it it seems to me!

  • By marly, April 3, 2011 @ 7:44 am

    “Hey, the fact that we are able to look at ourselves and ask these questions must mean that we are getting something right…mustn’t it?”

    I guess so…It doesn’t always feels like “getting something right” whilst you’re in the middle of yet another rollercoaster of emotional turmoil but after a while, once you start feeling how much you’re exhausting yourself (not only emotionally but also physically) up to the point of having sleepless nights driving yourself crazy with “could haves’,” would haves….”, waking up with dreadful headaches and aching joints etc. you start realizing that you actually have a choice because all that anger and/or frustration about feeling powerless and having no control in the end turns itself against you if you let it…….

    In my case I should try to gain more self confidence instead of always seeking approval (acceptance, love) of others. It’s not that strange that people start using you as their personal doormat when you are practically inviting them to walk all over you is it?
    The thought that I need other people’s approval is all in my own head….this is a sad but at the same time wonderful insight, isn’t it? I mean, without this insight I could easily maintain the view of seeing myself as the eternal victim, full of anger and bitterness because people keep on disappointing me by not giving me what I so desperately need.
    This insight brings that old and destructive thought to a halt and more or less forces me to come up with a different mindset.

    Wow, how easy it seems when you put stuff in perspective and how darn difficult it becomes once you start to put all this wisdom into practice!

    Yes, Hilly…..I think we are getting something right or at least that’s how it feels sometimes!
    Whatever you are going to decide don’t let fear rule your heart.
    Trust your instincts and above all allow yourself to make “mistakes”.
    Don’t believe in “wrong paths”, we can’t control how our paths often get blocked by unexpected obstacles but we can choose how to deal with it when it happens.

    Hi Christine,
    Thanks for your comment.
    I fully agree with you that it’s not wrong to please others but if you’re doing it for the wrong reasons it becomes a rather shallow deed.
    Indeed, we can never please anyone and this reminds me of a song by the late Rick Nelson called “Garden party” in which he states:“But it’s all right now, I’ve learned my lesson well.
    You see, you can’t please everyone, so you’ve got to please yourself…….”
    We (me anyway) got to start believing in ourselves in order to love ourselves which enables us to selflessly share that love.(this sounds véry seventies, doesn’t?!Lol!).

    Have a good week!

  • By sstormc, April 3, 2011 @ 11:12 am

    Perhaps you are right, Paul, in saying that peace will come when we give up control. We need to admit that we don’t have control and accept it. Looking forward to your next burst of insight! I hope it will be soon.

  • By sstormc, April 3, 2011 @ 11:16 am

    Marly, I’ve got to ask…DO we waste our life? I’ve found myself saying the same thing…am I wasting my life by doing this or that? Are we wasting our lives daily or is there a higher purpose? If we give up our need to control, is there something else controlling us?

  • By hilly, April 3, 2011 @ 12:14 pm

    Well we’ve been around this kind of question before…control – control over our lives…choice.
    Over on another blog someone asked if we create our own destiny….and this is what I replied.

    Do we create our own destiny?
    We have choice. We can choose our path; and we can choose not to follow it.
    We have the choice to create our destiny or to choose to believe that we can not create our destiny. We can choose (as many religions expect their followers to do) to believe in an external force – usually identified as ‘God’ – who has a preordained program for the world (duh, do they mean this planet; the universe or something even greater?) and, therefore, its hapless inhabitants who must just follow ‘His plan’.

    Or – and this is my choice – we can choose to try to control our destiny.
    Hey what? Did she say ‘try’?
    Yes. You see I don’t believe in a god that pulls strings like a (frequently malicious) puppeteer. Neither do I believe in a being I often refer to as ‘Old Beardie on the Cloud’ who watches over our lives and says ‘OK pawn to knight’s right’ (or whatever a chess move is) and overrides whatever we thought we were doing.
    I do believe that we have the choice of how we want our lives to go. We have the choice to make the decisions that may or may not bring us to the goals we seek – whether they are material or spiritual.
    But…and here is the but that explains the ‘try’…there are billions of other human beings out there, living in the same world as we do, following paths that run alongside our and making their choices – trying to create their destinies.
    And this means that our paths cross. Sometimes they run in harmony, sometimes they clash. Sometimes we change our destiny – or the one we thought we had created – because we fall into step with another…that may be a ‘meaningful relationship’ or a business partnership…or take the case of 2 actors or singers. Each has set out on his career path. Made the moves to get the roles/concerts he wants. He is creating his destiny as ‘X’ the star….and along comes ‘Y’ they make a movie together/record a disc together…and become a big hit; maybe bigger than they could have been individually. And in doing so they have each acted in the creation of the other’s destiny.

    We can constantly choose the paths that bring us to the destiny we thought we wanted – and find another one that is better – or worse.
    It may be that our ultimate destiny is not in our power…but it is only by our choices that we get there – or fail to get there.
    And when you think about it….failing to get there is a destiny in itself.

  • By sstormc, April 3, 2011 @ 12:56 pm

    Interesting. Does it ever seem to you that “destiny” steps in and leads you places? Particularly when you are talking about a spiritual path. Of course, I know I could choose to ignore it. I mean, I believe in free choice. I also have come to believe that there is no one true God and no one true religion…my spiritual path has taken me there and beyond, but I am still seeking. Paul talks about meditation, and I hope he will speak more about it. My son has been interested in it and practicing it has helped him overcome some very difficult dreams he’s had since witnessing someone’s death. In his meditation, there are things he repeats over and over. Paul spoke of repeating something…or meditating on it…in one of these blogs. (I’ve read so many now, I can’t remember what it was.) I’ve also heard of making the mind blank (this is DIFFICULT to do!) and perhaps picturing walking in a garden of some sort. I would love to know more on the subject of meditation, and what is to be gleaned from it spiritually.

  • By Christine, April 3, 2011 @ 1:10 pm

    Just a thought here; it is often said we have to love ourselves before we can love others?. Right?.
    No I don’t ‘think’ this is right. I say think, as its only my opinion and view on it. I can’t say I love myself. Half the time I am striving to be a better person than I was yesterday and so on. However, I have and I do ‘love’ others. I’ve been ‘in love’ a couple of times. I have been told that I constantly see the ‘good’ in others, if there is 1% goodness in there; Oh yes, I will find it!.
    I have spent a lot of my life constantly wishing I were someone else. Someone more intelligent, and the list goes on!. Are we ever happy with ourselves?. Not in the arrogant ‘I’m it’ kind of way, but rather ask yourself how happy you are right now with yourself and the things you have achieved.
    No, I can put my hand on my heart and say, I don’t love myself. Not in the slightest. But we are born to try. Maybe you don’t love yourself until you infact feel loved; maybe its more a case of the feelings of security and being needed/wanted that in turn give you that ‘Hey I’m not so bad after all!! feeling.
    Oh and one last thing, (its getting late and I’m tired lol)I do think its possible to love oneself as in know ones value, worth etc without being in an arrogant way. Just maybe some of us do and others can’t see it.
    Take care everyone.
    Paul, please come back soon! sorry, but its been a while!. :)

  • By hilly, April 4, 2011 @ 1:00 am

    Hi ‘storm’…I’ve been reading all your comments as you’ve made your way along them and it seems that you as I are on a similar wavelength. I too have ‘gone beyond’ religion per se and seek a general spiritual path.

    Making your mind go blank…it’s tough isn’t it? All those thoughts that will insist on wandering in and disrupting your concentration on …being blank. As a chronic multi-tasker my mind says “hey hang on I’ve got another 3 things to think about here whaddya mean ‘think of nothing’?” and the very fact that I am trying to make my mind go blank means I’m thinking of something. (my friends now hear me saying ‘aw shit’!)
    I find that the nearest I can get is to concentrate on my body; I meditate walking by the river. I listen to my breathing; my footsteps, my heart…slowly I let the birdsong – and at this time of year the toads and frogs singing and croaking to each other – flow across my hearing. but I make a big effort to turn one idea over in my mind. It may be the strategy for dealing with something; it may be an idea like ‘can we create our own destiny?’ or ‘what is isness?’ (I giggled when I saw your remark about making a noun out of a verb…my immediate thought was “we’re off to see the wizard the wonderful wizard of Iz”! oops digressing – a talent of mine)
    As I turn the idea over – argue it out in my mind I am meditating in my way.
    I have a brain like a trash can – it gathers bits of information and sometimes I’m not sure if I imagined them or not….but I seem to remember a long long time ago when PMG gave a serious interview (as opposed to a ‘Starsky’ interview) he said something about no having a good sitting meditation and that even running was a mantra for him. I think this is an essence of what meditation is to each of us – some can sit cross-legged saying ‘om’ others need a bit more to ponder. Meditation is ‘concentrated’ (in every sense of the word) thinking after all.

    Christine: that is one heck of an admission ‘I don’t love myself’! It takes a clarity of judgment to be able to say that hand on heart. There are times when I don’t like myself and I can’t love someone I don’t like. but isn’t that where compassion comes in? If we can look kindly (not pityingly or condescendingly but with that true gentleness that is compassion) at ourselves then maybe we have made the first move to loving ourselves. And through that to loving others.
    Just a thought

    PS – yes Paul, please throw us another thought to chew on!

  • By Christine, April 5, 2011 @ 8:52 am

    Hi Hilly, I think its hard to forgive ourselves at times. I find it easier to forgive another person than myself. I’m not happy with the mistakes I have made in my life. No one is otherwise we would never have to apologize or make amends and move forward. The problem comes however, when one can’t put something right. There is no second chance. Its when I am faced with not being able to alter a situation that I find myself turning all the anger and pain inwards.
    We constantly ask ourselves how we went wrong. Wouldn’t it be nice if infact we could turn the clock back and put everything right?. You know like when an actor re-takes a scene that hasn’t gone so good?.
    How do we live with guilt?. I wish with all my heart I could forgive myself for quite honestly failing. Why wasn’t I a better person? maybe I lacked the sense or the ability to change anything. Its these thoughts that we run through our heads when we can’t sleep, or when the house is too quiet and we start to think things over and over. It doesn’t do any good. Yesterday is gone. So why can’t we just accept that? and not hurt?.
    I re-read Paul’s other comments and keep thinking about when we are feeling helpless how we should try to aknowledge not all of our being is feeling that way. Its true if you can ‘hold’ onto a positive thought albeit in the middle of the helpless thought it can give you that little bit of hope that things may not always be so tough.
    Sometimes Paul’s comments remain in my head and a situation will arise and its like a light bulb going on. I suppose its a case of remembering to turn on that light.
    Best wishes,
    Christine. :)

  • By sstormc, April 5, 2011 @ 9:09 am

    Hi, hilly, thanks for the response and making me welcome here. I walk every day, so perhaps I’ll try not walking with music as I usually do and meditate instead. Thinking about my breathing got me the closest to what I think was real meditation. I actually felt as though I was tingling all over and disconnecting somehow. Anyone else had a similar experience? The same son who meditates now proclaims himself Buddhist –which he says is not a religion, but a state of mind. Buddhism is something I’ve promised myself to look into.
    I wonder what Paul will speak on next?

  • By sstormc, April 5, 2011 @ 9:11 am

    Oh, and I forgot to add….in his meditation, my son repeats good wishes for different people, especially those he does not particularly like. He says that the more he does this, the better he feels toward them.

  • By Pam Meserve, April 5, 2011 @ 7:51 pm

    Sstorm:”I also have come to believe that there is no one true God and no one true religion…my spiritual path has taken me there and beyond”
    For me, I think this is an important spiritual step if we are to truly accept that we are all ‘one’ and are indeed all tied together..I personally don’t feel that you can really find your way ‘home’ comfy in you’re own skin, love yourself without this path…feeling in your heart. It’s really an awareness of everyone and everything around you, IMHO. It’s also, a spiritual path that continues to grow in you and deliver you to ‘places’ you may have never imagined for your ‘self’.

    Storm comments on making your mind ‘blank’ in meditation, and what I have been learning in my meditation practice is to just let whatever flows into your mind during this time and let it flow its natural course through you…don’t re-act to it..just notice it…see how your body re-acts to aware of that and let it ‘float’ through; and it helps too to breath in and out and be ‘aware’ of your breath and the calming effects that can have on your body..especially if the thought that enters is not a pleasant one, or a rehash of a situation or something.

    One of the great things to come with Paul’s Chrystallia that I convinced him to do is a Meditation’s going to be so refreshing and incredibly helpful to everyone.

    Christine, I understand a lot of what you’re saying about’s not easy sometimes, I know…And for everyone, if you have never tried it, please give yoga AND meditation a try without the notion that you ‘can’t do it’ because I think you find once you ‘let yourself go with the flow’ that eventually you too ‘can float’..

    Infact, even though I too have difficulties with this at present with of the greatest messages in Chrystallia is about the discovery of ‘self-love’…One of the greatest parts, the essence of our ‘being,’ is our heart and our ‘awareness’ of it. Our awareness is a way of seeing our ‘self’ and our ‘not-self,’ to uncover the heart of our very being and the truth of what ISLOVE…self love and a love for all others…

    Metabless everyone…


  • By hilly, April 5, 2011 @ 11:18 pm

    stom…I sometimes do my walk with music; well I will when I get a new MP3 player (I threw the last one into the canal in a temper tantrum when the damn thing kept going wrong…yes I know, pollution – but maybe the fish appreciate the music!?!) and after a while you will find that you can blank out with music too. If you have ever seen experiments done with ‘white noise’ to measure people’s concentration you’ll understand what I mean. The music blocks all background distractions.
    It doesn’t work for everyone though

  • By Nora, April 6, 2011 @ 6:26 am

    Hola Pam,
    Tu sabes si Paul va a editar Chrystallia en Español???, estoy esperando con mucha anciedad el libro, y quisiera porder leerlo.
    Un beso y abrazo Pam, y mis cariños a Paul
    Nora (Argentina)

  • By Christine, April 6, 2011 @ 7:45 am

    Hi Pam, A meditation cd? that sounds great!. I can almost feel the stress floating away…..brings a smile too :)

  • By sstormc, April 6, 2011 @ 8:38 am

    hilly, you know I actually have a white noise maker left over from 20 years ago when my oldest son had colic and trouble sleeping. Maybe that would help in meditation.
    and Pam…I am thrilled Paul will put out meditation CD! I have never bought one before, but I will buy his! And I can’t wait to read the book. You said, “an awareness of everyone and everything around you”…yes, I feel that. I have always been interested in American Indians because their spirituality centers around nature. I feel that. Something just popped into my mind that I hadn’t thought of in a while. My sister once told me that a psychic told her that her sister (being me) is very close to God. This was years ago, and at the time, I didn’t know what to make of it, particularly since I was so confused on the subject. But now it makes me wonder…perhaps I was close to the truth

  • By hilly, April 6, 2011 @ 11:07 am

    I have always been interested in American Indians because their spirituality centers around nature.
    So have I…their creation stories are fascinating.
    That psychic may have had a point: she either didn’t idea of a spirituality that is not anchored to a defined religion
    On the other had maybe she thought she had to put into ‘popular’ terms…by which she probably assumed that you were a Christian or a “Believer” because that is considered to be ‘the norm’ in so many of our countries.
    (I had to laugh…here in France they are getting into a big flurry over the idea of secularism. France is schizoid on the subject. The Constitution defines the state as secular….but historically France has always been ‘La Fille Ainée de l’Eglise’ (the Catholic Church’s eldest daughter – whatever that means!)
    So we have this big debate going on about whether people should flaunt their religious insignia at others…and of course certain elements immediately saw that as a specific attack on Islam. So anyway…this week there was supposed to be a big debate about secularity and the state.
    “The leaders of the 6 major religions” (they even defined themselves as such) wrote a joint letter against this debate saying it was unnecessary. OK so what 5 religions you ask.
    Islam (natch in the circumstances) Judaism, Buddhism (yes it is a major following in France – and no the French don’t know the difference between a religion and a philosophy!) So now you’re thinking OK N° 4 is Christianity but what are N° 5 &6…close but no candy apple….N°4 is Catholicism and N°5 is Protestantism!
    (I didn’t take them in any particular order BTW)…but aren’t the last two the same thing? And the 6th….well of course ‘Orthodox Christianity’…in my book that makes 2 religions and 3 variations on a 4th and a philosophical/spiritual path….
    All this to explain why I say that people don’t understand.

  • By Pam Meserve, April 10, 2011 @ 11:34 am

    Reflecting A LOT these days…that’s the wonderful blessing of the gift of Paul sharing his thoughts on himself, what he ‘studies’ and especially on his incredible journey in this life. I think everyone who reads what he posts takes into themselves or discovers something about themselves and gains inspiration, awareness.. a newfound ‘consciousness.’ or maybe you just see a new way to ‘think outside your box.’ I know I sure do. I don’t really float anymore, but my recent experiences, my current ‘journey’ can only help me rise to where I CAN float once again.

    My sincere wish for everyone is that they too will take into your heart, your consciousness whatever it is that will help you learn to float.. To love…to love all others and accept people for the Light and love each of us does have in our being, especially those individuals who keep it deep, or buried or are even ‘confused’ about ‘this stuff’ know, what true simple and pure love and giving from within IS!!

    I love the work I have been on Paul’s website, with Paul and what I have done on Chrystallia. I have enjoyed reaching out spreading his mission, his Light to everyone for over eleven years now. I have learned a lot.. about myself, about our journey, being aware of and conscious of every one and everything. You all have indeed become ‘ a part’ of me. It’s something in my life that has brought great meaning and fulfillment to me and certainly within me. Lol, I don’t think really anyone can truly understand my feelings about it, or my experiences as his liaison and webmaster.

    So just a thank you, from deep in my heart to all who have crossed into my life through my work here, to all who have become true friends, to all who read and/or post on Paul’s gift to us…His blog.

    When Chrystallia comes out…I know there will be something on her pages that each of you will discover in a unique, spiritual way for your ‘self’…

    Metabless all of you…

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, April 10, 2011 @ 7:08 pm

    Hello dear friends, hello Pam, right. what you say, is a blessing, read, the thoughts of Paul, he has an enormous capacity to love., and this is reflected in his writings, I learned a lot at this time , we all learned of all, I think the language of love, makes huge changes, love is everything, to change our way of seeing things, to have deep feelings, to become better people. (beings of light), if you love, get love, and if you do not receive intereza not because one is happy to love, I think that’s the point, give love without expecting anything in return, all the blessings to all, and since I am here , as I communicate to you Pam, thank God my medical studies come out well, I love you, Paul, to you and all who share in this blog, so wonderful. and all I’m waiting for the “book” Chrystallia I have it already, and it’s wonderful that will be it’s written with love. God bless you with love Hilda

  • By sstormc, April 11, 2011 @ 1:54 pm

    I can’t wait to read his book!

  • By Pam Meserve, April 11, 2011 @ 4:00 pm

    Ohm…and well…it maybe around Fall time like October, (would be nice for my birthday, Zoe’s or Jake’s) or so!! Re-editing and all that, however you DO want an incredible journey, right? And ye shall have it!! And it IS, afterall, a Christmas story :-)

    Not definite yet but don’t fret though, you-tube readings will be out and stuff!

    So sit and meditate on the power and love in everyone’s light!

    Metabless you all!!

  • By hilly, April 12, 2011 @ 12:41 am

    so the idiot journo in Liège wasn’t as idiot as I thought – he reported ‘Xmas’

  • By Pam Meserve, April 12, 2011 @ 7:01 am

    Yes, hilly… I said that above..its out in October..

  • By hilly, April 12, 2011 @ 2:03 pm

    yes Pam – I saw that you said October which is why I commented that the jounalist in Liège may not have got it wrong.

  • By carol4spot, April 13, 2011 @ 10:49 am

    I agree about the judgmental stuff. You need to see people with compassion. We are all flawed in some way because in our journey we are constantly learning and not one person ‘knows’ everything. I, for one, am amazed at how I learn something everyday.
    People make mistakes. We are human beings and yes, we are all here to learn together. Nobody’s perfect and we are not their judge. I have to admit and not to cause a stir, that the insult to this journalist guy, whom I have never heard of, kind of hurt my feelings for him if that makes any sense. I’m a little bit of a softy though. I felt hurt just as if it was said about me because I do believe we are all one. Even though I don’t know this journalist guy I feel connected to him. I felt bad for him that someone called him such a name. Yes, Hilly, I know you sort of retracted the statement but once words are said they are not too easily forgotten.
    I am not trying to cause commotion here..I am coming from a kind, loving place….xocarol

  • By hilly, April 13, 2011 @ 11:35 am

    you have just judged me (unfairly but who am I to say

  • By carol4spot, April 13, 2011 @ 1:01 pm

    Hilly, I’m sorry you feel that way. It was not my intention to come off judgmental. I think you may have misinterpreted my post or something. But, really, I have no bad feelings towards you whatsoever. xocarol

  • By hilly, April 15, 2011 @ 8:29 am

    no I didn’t misinterpret your post any more than you did mine. in telling me I need to see people with compassion you were judging me.

    The word that is going through my head is ‘irony’…..

  • By hilly, April 15, 2011 @ 8:35 am

    damn – hit send too soon…

    and why do you assume that I think you have ‘bad feelings’ to me? You have the right to make your judgements after all.

  • By Pam Meserve, April 16, 2011 @ 2:50 pm

    Website updated

  • By Christine, April 16, 2011 @ 3:08 pm

    Hi Pam M, Lovely update to the website. Its great being able to actually see a picture of Paul’s book. Wish I lived in the US I would have loved to have gone along to the LA times festival of books. I hope it goes well for you guys. Can’t wait to buy it!. All the best,

  • By hilly, April 16, 2011 @ 10:14 pm

    if a picture paints a thousand words…the book should be great!

    Pam – I can send you an edited version of Paul at the press conference and being interviewed (no not that reporter) if you want.

  • By hilly, April 20, 2011 @ 2:05 am

    freylekh peysekh/happy Passover

    mmmm chocoloate covered home-made macaroons…..

  • By Jo, April 20, 2011 @ 12:54 pm

    I don’t often join in with this blog, although I often browse. I am confused and sad today. I have seen the news on the internet. I hope this situation is resolved soon. I pray no-one gets hurt and that life will soon be good again for all concerned. Passing no judgement, just sending love xx

  • By sstormc, April 20, 2011 @ 2:30 pm

    I am pretty confused, but, Pam, I sure hope things get better for you. I hope all goes well for you—sending good thoughts and light your way!

  • By Fernanda, April 20, 2011 @ 2:32 pm

    OMG Dear Paul! I´ve read it at the internet too…I´m so sad and worry!! Be careful Paul!! We all love you!!! :)

  • By sknash, April 20, 2011 @ 4:01 pm

    I guess I am not surprised, but my question is, was and is this site authorized by Paul, has it been Paul blogging all along? I have been among the few who have been attacked on other sites by certain individuals two years ago and this news does not surprise me. I hope the individuals get help. Your behavior and actions reflect on all of us fans. And for that I am sad, sad for us fans and sad for Paul. He has had enough drama in his life. Not passing judgment, but have been on the receiving end of someone’s nastiness as well as several others, so I know a bit about this and can only imagine. Sorry Paul, not all of us are like that.

  • By noonespecial, April 20, 2011 @ 5:53 pm

    I think it’s safe to say, Pam…you are officially fired from doing any work for PMG whatsoever. I think it says a lot about you if you’re still passing yourself off as an administrator of his blog after he filed a freaking restraining order against you. I suggest serious counseling and disassociating yourself from all this at least until this has been settled. Continuing to post as you are certainly isn’t doing you any favors. And frankly, given the fact that he is in the public eye and has a family, he has to do what it takes to protect himself and them. If you care about the guy and his family…then back off and let well enough alone. You’re just making it worse on yourself and frightening a lot of people with your activities.

  • By noonespecial, April 20, 2011 @ 6:25 pm

    Restraining order means he wants you away from him. I don’t think it can get much clearer than that.

  • By xtexan86, April 20, 2011 @ 9:38 pm

    Interesting news…not to much to say but I tend to believe there is always two sides to every story. Maybe we’ll eventually hear them, maybe we won’t, but either way, it isn’t any of our business.
    I hope at some point in the future, if PMG wants to maintain a shared thoughts blog, that he will post a message here to that effect. Won’t hold my breath but will keep my fingers crossed. xt

  • By infidelabumpkin, April 21, 2011 @ 3:22 am

    Once upon a time there was a rather brave spunky squirrel during a time when there were no nuts. This spunky squirrel had to probably journey miles away to get to the main Mr. Squirrel who decided that it was alright to give out some nuts to Ms.Brave Squirrel so that she could share them with her other squirrel friends. It seemed that her squirrel friends loved her as long as she could provide her friends with nuts enough to gobble. She was nagged sometimes when the supply of nuts seemed to run out as her squirrel friends waited. For a long time, her squirrel friends waited for their nuts… the supply suddenly became more infrequent and her squirrel friends were getting rather nasty at her so you know, I think she decided to do something about it. Ms. Brave probably went direct to Mr. Squirrel himself and demanded some more nuts. Mr.Squirrel could have been suddenly annoyed because even squirrels have their moods. Maybe he did not understand that Ms.Brave Squirrel sounded too demanding because some of the squirrels here were practically nagging her everyday and night for MORE, MORE and MORE nuts. Maybe some of these squirrels failed to comprehend that Ms.Brave Squirrel may have tried to do everything she could for her squirrel friends who will probably leave her anyway if and when Mr. Squirrel decides that he’s over with the nut giveaway. If Mr. Squirrel is reading perhaps he should understand that there were ‘other squirrels’ who demanded too much of Ms. Brave Squirrel. It is something all squirrels should understand too I guess… we are ALL squirrels after all, and we all need nuts but we never should demand it from other squirrels. Ms. Brave Squirrel was relentlessly tormented by other squirrels demanding that she distribute nuts and it is my wish that Mr. Squirrel would find it in his heart to understand that.

  • By dogodigger, April 21, 2011 @ 5:48 am

    This isn’t a kiddie story. This is real life that has nothing centrally to do with fans demanding time. This is about an individual with a very serious issue that needs professional help. We all can love family/friends that have health issues, but denying the issues won’t get anyone better. The writing’s been on the wall for several years now. I am hoping and praying that the RO is a wake up call. It has to been bec I don’t want to think of the alternatives.

  • By dogodigger, April 21, 2011 @ 7:13 am

    Any way you cut it, it is what it is.

  • By xtexan86, April 21, 2011 @ 5:00 pm

    And what is ‘it’? To me, ‘it’ here doesn’t add up. Not knowing the facts, my biggest head scratcher is this…if the writing has been on the wall for several YEARS, then shouldn’t the matter, ie, ‘it’, have been dealt with long ago? Strange way to deal with a questionable personality, or someone you feel has an over zealous attraction to you…let them run your website, promote your book, your philosophy on life, etc, etc.
    Well, I should shut up now. It isn’t right to judge or try to assume anything without knowing all the facts and I don’t see how others can feel comfotable doing so. Sorry mess, that’s all ‘this’ is. xt

  • By noonespecial, April 21, 2011 @ 6:54 pm

    texan, there are hundreds of emails, 23 panto visits, and she’s caught around his apartment. There was enough concern that PMG went to a judge and asked for a restraining order. The judge looked at the evidence and agreed that PMG had a right to be concerned for himself and that of his family.

    When I read her comments here, I come to the conclusion that he had every right to be concerned. If he has to take this step to protect himself and his family, then so be it. Anyone in his position would do the same.

    Whether he asked her to promote his book and run her website is questionable since we have no proof either way. Everything she has said here is just her word only. PMG is not coming forth with any details other than what was filed in court which TMZ got and publisized.

    This is NOT a “he said, she said” type of argument. PMG went to a judge and got a restraining order. That doesn’t happen for no reason.

  • By hilly, April 22, 2011 @ 2:14 am

    where have my post and Marly’s post gone?

  • By hilly, April 22, 2011 @ 2:55 am

    this is very strange – posts appear and disappear. Yes I know it happened once before and there was no explanation but Marly made a good comment and it has gone. I posted immediately after her – but that went too.
    And on my sidebar the comment from pmg is
    still displayed as being a recent post – but it has gone too.

  • By hilly, April 22, 2011 @ 3:59 am

    duh sorry people but I have been having a severe attack of blondness….the posts are still there – where they should be – on the page titled ‘home’!

  • By sknash, April 22, 2011 @ 4:56 am

    Paul, thank you kindly for responding during these trying days. Would love to continue to stay up to date with Chyrstallia but concerned that anything on this site may not be truthful. Will visit the Chrystallia site to keep up to speed on your progress. Hopefully you will be doing a book signing in the Orlando area in the future. Would love to see you keep posting whenever you have the time. But take care of you first and bring the light of Chrystallia to all of us. Blessings and thanks-Susan

  • By sknash, April 22, 2011 @ 6:26 am

    Unfortunately, I have a feeling posts are being edited. Until all the dust settles. guess we just wait patiently. No more posting on this site from me for obvious reasons. For now, I will be updating Paul’s fan site which is not an official site, just a place where fellow fans can go and keep up to date. Happy Easter, Passover, whatever be your choice. Blessings-Susan

  • By sstormc, April 22, 2011 @ 9:38 am

    It bothers me that PMG posted here and it has evidently been removed. Fortunately someone copied it first, and I was able to read it.

  • By noonespecial, April 22, 2011 @ 9:44 am

    Thanks for that info, sock puppet…I mean by Logical.

  • By dogodigger, April 22, 2011 @ 4:49 pm

    Logical, from 2 personal experiences in matters relating to obtaining and enforcing an RO (one in a large US city (where requested);one in a semi rural US county (enforced upon violation), it is not “one can get it anytime if one feels that his.her life is in danger or says that to a judge.” Does not work that way–burden of proof is placed upon the person requesting the order. Proof. And that proof can come in various forms–such as, prior complaints called into law enforcement, prior record of offender to plaintiff, emails, text messages photographed and verified by law enforcement, on scene investigation by law, an the ilk. Once documented and determined there is warrant for the RO, the DA/and or law will move forward with request. Person requesting the order goes before a judge who asks lots of questions. Then decision is rendered. Courts take the matter seriously; they listen, they determine, and they enforce. And the reason why, is that too many (mostly women) have died bec it wasn’t taken seriously for so many years. It’s not that way now, bec when you fear for your safety, it is serious. From up close & personal, once an RO is granted, one does not want to piss off a judge by refusing to sign it; and one does not want to piss off a passel of sheriffs upon violation. Offenders come from all walks of life–and it’s the respected, honorable ones that’ll make your jaw drop. I’ll just leave you with this thought. My offender was a longtime US commerical pilot–and probably many of us have flown on his plane. He threatened to take the entire plane down if I continued with RO.

  • By BeckyB, April 22, 2011 @ 9:15 pm

    @dogodigger, thank you for clarifying the RO process. This is not to be taken lightly. Pam, please get help, I am worried about you.

    Yes, there are posts missing. I was able to read Paul’s post this evening. The date stamp on his post is April 21, 2011 @ 9:25 am, and now I am not seeing it. Maybe it’s something up with WordPress.

  • By dogodigger, April 22, 2011 @ 9:34 pm

    PMG’s post is under ‘home’. 4/21, 9:25am. It has not gone anywhere. why pam doesn’t clarify that, is…well it’s her choice.

    And Becky B, thank you for hearing the bottom line. When anyone comes forth to a court of law and says, “I fear for my safety”, it’s time we slow down and listen.

  • By logical, April 23, 2011 @ 1:50 am

    Okay, I agree with you there Dogodigger but apparently Pam is having a difficult time right now and thus, it can be difficult for her to think rationally about what she should type. How for everyone, again, you are all wrong. I am Chavie, and yes if I recall Pam blocked me because of my calling someone ‘innocent’. I am not taking any sides here because there is no side to take, I am trying to empathize.If some of you say that she’s sick or anything, then there is more reason to make her feel loved rather than disliked or even ‘hated’. As my FB friend I have not detected anything weird about her that doesn’t mean to say that there I do not believe in Paul Michael Glaser either. I am trying to practice that love that you people here so often preach. No one wants to be treated the way people are treating Pam right now and I hoped that it was something that Paul and Pam kept to themselves but maybe some reporter picked it up or something. I do not even think that Paul would approve of how she is being lambasted now because from what I heard he is a private person and would rather keep things to himself. But I don’t know Paul and I know Pam, and that makes all the difference in the world. I have never asked Pam for a single favor like some of you did when she was/is webmaster, but she is my FB friend and I choose to be kind. In fact, I even suggested that she give this site back to Paul, but I am only a friend and I can only do that — suggest. Who would want to be in her place right now? You google Paul Michael Glaser and you get the latest news and this stalking news is EVERYWHERE in the world, even in Spanish and Asian newspapers. If or why she did anything, I have no answers and I don’t ask her, but I am sure that none of you want to be in her place right now. Probably a year ago everyone wanted to be in her place when she had access to PMG. It was she who delivered your messages, your cards, your gifts to him and even that could have been misinterpreted. Five hundred emails in two years could have been forwarded to Paul from fans (I did my math and that is probable). Add the facts that she never told me but I read from TMZ that she was in London 23 times because she acted like some PA bringing the yoga mats and all that, and naturally, I have had my doubts and I am being as truthful about it to you all. As I said, I did advise her to let go, to forget it and have some beach holiday in some tropical island instead of brooding over the fact that she feels that the whole world hates her. I kept telling her since this started that the world does not hate her and that no one even knows how she looks like. I have tried to convince her to either give this site back to Paul or sell it and forget it. If people keep bashing her it will only confuse her more, but then again, that’s your choice too. With a bit of gentleness then maybe some sense can come out of this that will be BOTH agreeable to Pam and Paul. If there is ever a time that BOTH of them need love, it is now.

  • By logical, April 23, 2011 @ 2:03 am

    @dogodigger -we are not at odds, I want to make that clear. If there was anything I disliked about this group it’s simply those extremely long posts that I could hardly understand usually about felines, but again this is not my website either. Another thing I’d wish to clarify is that old issue when I said that Christine was the most innocent (I meant Christine was the less prone to any malice) but again, people had to complicate that, and that pissed me off. I am not Infidelabumpkin either, that happens to be another FB friend of mine. In short, this is a time to be kind to BOTH Pam and Paul.

  • By dogodigger, April 23, 2011 @ 9:35 am

    Logical, absolutely we are not at odds. And yes, help and love is definitely needed. As is making wise choices too. I wish them peace.

  • By noonespecial, April 24, 2011 @ 5:16 am

    Don’t let Pam fool you, folks. I posted yesterday about how many fans reacted to her assertions at a convention a while back. They are talking about it now because many were not surprised by PMG getting a restraining order against her.

    I also said that she needed help as well.

    It was a bit of a long post, but now it is gone. It was deleted.

    So much for Pam’s assertion about no deleted posts. I wonder how long this one will stay.

  • By logical, April 24, 2011 @ 6:45 am

    I think sknash has a site called right? it is called… can you repost it there? And Diane (Sandie) has a site called — maybe wither site would do to post what you feel was deleted. Or maybe we can just all meet at TMZ.

  • By patriciac, April 24, 2011 @ 7:05 am

    Hi noonespecial, I would be interested in seeing your post. Too bad it has disappeared.
    Someone has already said it on this blog: judges do not give restraining orders without proof that it is necessary.

  • By logical, April 24, 2011 @ 8:07 am

    Today is Easter Sunday here… anyone wants to skype it’s bugseydebugs1

  • By torinoguy, April 24, 2011 @ 8:57 am

    My post from earlier was deleted. Thanks PAM for deleting it. Maybe PMG is right and you are a psycho.

  • By logical, April 24, 2011 @ 9:55 am

    Pam, don’t do this to yourself. I just watched TMZ and this is Asia and thank God there is no mention of your name.Let go and give the guy back his website and don’t look back. People usually forget news stories after two weeks and this guy.. he may mean the ideal to you, but he’s like my dad’s age. People will call you names as long as you keep holding on to this website when you can be the hero here and GIVE it back to him. Why hold on to someone who goes to a judge because he wants you far away from him. Don’t you LOVE yourself more than that? Let IT go and I am telling you this because you’re my friend.. let’s go to some tropical beach and enjoy this life. Sure, I feel for you, but let it go.. there are other things in the world that you can really enjoy – I promise you that :)

  • By torinoguy, April 24, 2011 @ 9:59 am

    Fine, then I will repost.
    I have been reading all the traffic and messages going back and forth on here, and on FB, and especially on TMZ. I find it curious that PMG would fire Pam, or dismiss her and take legal action, especially after so many years. To me, that makes no sense. The above message, supposedly from PMG, doesn;t sound like him at all. IMHO, I think Pam M. has been duping all the fans on here and on FB with this fake site, and the fake PMG Facebook page. Ever notice that Paul never answers on FB? Probably because he doesnt know about it. Years ago I sent Pam some stuff to be signed by PMG when she was still living in Massachusetts, and a $100 donation request in the form of a money order was included to the EGPAF. I hope Pam did not pocket that money but it was worth the $100 to get a couple of pictures signed by PMG. Now I really wonder, who signed them? PMG or Pam?
    I also kinda think this is a big publicity stunt. Not many people remember PMG – you have to be of the right age to know who he is, and he flies under the radar, so maybe to generate some buzz associated with his name, his management people or marketing team came up with this stuff – and its working. LOL. I would guess that Pam is harmless, because if she really is a psycho, why did PMG take so long to get a protection order against her? Why is this website still up? You;d think he would get his lawyer(s) involved to pull it down. THere are alot of questions here, and very few answers. US fans would like the truth please.

  • By sstormc, April 24, 2011 @ 1:58 pm

    I just want to point out that there is this thread “Find your way Home” and there is a thread called “Home.” I believe the post Torinoguy was talking about is in “Home”. It is still there from approx. 5 AM. I wanted to point this out because I made the same mistake in thinking the PMG post had been deleted when it was really in the other home thread.

  • By hilly, April 24, 2011 @ 11:54 pm

    I posted this on the thread ‘home’ and I’m putting it here too:

    It isn’t fair to either Pam or PMG to go on bickering like this on this site – whoever it belongs to. It bears his name and she created it….just leave it alone.
    Those of you who want to go on slinging mud have been given plenty of other forum addresses to play on….but I suppose it won’t be as much fun as making allegations here where they hurt the most will it?

  • By hilly, April 24, 2011 @ 11:57 pm

    I would add that although the First Amendment leads to a debate about this the concept of sub judice exists in US law and could be construed to apply here:

    here’s the definition:

    Sub judice refers to a mattter before a court or a judge, under judicial consideration and not yet decided. When a matter has yet to be proved or disproved in a court case it is sub judice and unable to be discussed or stated as a fact in public. By not referring to matters that are sub judice, the rights to a fair trial are protected because it ensures that a potential jury is not influenced by misinformation or false claims.

  • By patriciac, May 6, 2011 @ 5:32 am

    Hi Pam, I’m not too sure what that comment means. Perhaps that he wanted someone to challenge him more on what he was writing? Maybe that you liked it too easily? I’m really not sure but I’m trying to understand too.

  • By patriciac, May 8, 2011 @ 1:00 pm

    Wow…serious accusations in that poem. I am speechless.

  • By logical, May 8, 2011 @ 2:57 pm

    sorry, i doubt that. he just lectured yesterday at an acting school and he is NOT that kind of man unless he is provoked to the max.

  • By Sandie, May 9, 2011 @ 10:45 am

    Pam, it’s over. You are pissing off my friend and you seem to want to start an ethnic war? warning, that friend may give it to you if you keep insisting that she’s so interested in Paul Michael Glaser. If I were you I would be nice to her.

  • By Sandie, May 9, 2011 @ 10:48 am

    My friend is not romantically inclined even if she is younger. If they do meet it is none of your business.

  • By Pandra, May 10, 2011 @ 3:04 pm

    This post reminded me of something Herman Melville wrote in Moby Dick. It was the chapter about the ropes-how the men had to be so careful not to get snagged by the ropes because they could get pulled out of the boat and to the bottom of the ocean. And how we’re not any safer in our own chair at home than we would be in that boat. Control is such a human illusion, and it’s one we cherish so much, it’s hard to let go of it. But it’s good to know our limitations.

  • By patriciac, May 10, 2011 @ 4:17 pm

    What is going on here? Threats? Intimidation? Sandie, I think you should go spew your venom somewhere else. The readers of this blog are not interested.

  • By Pam, May 10, 2011 @ 7:57 pm

    I wish this blog could have just continued in the journey it was meant to be about:
    Sharing in learning, compassion, forgiveness, courage, self-discovery/growth, understanding, listening and LOVE…

    “Our ability to Love is our truest power, our greatest power as human beings.”

  • By patriciac, May 11, 2011 @ 2:45 am

    Pam, well said. I agree with you. The blog is off course in its journey that it was meant to be about.
    “Our ability to Love is our truest power, our greatest power as human beings.”

  • By Pam, May 11, 2011 @ 8:25 pm

    I AM amazed and shocked at the level of viciousness and vindictive behavior by a certain person!
    This is not right, it is not fair or just!

  • By carol4spot, May 12, 2011 @ 4:37 am

    Something tells me, even though I do not know PMG , that he would NOT be impressed by vicious mudslinging. It is cruel. It is mean to kick someone while they are down. This is all sad and I really loved this place to visit and ‘hang out’ and I know virtually nothing of what happened nor do I want to. My philosophy is to take the high road. This is all none of our business. Pam and PMG are human beings. Mistakes can be made. We are not perfect.
    All I can say is I miss everyone here. I made a lot of friends here.

  • By Pam, May 12, 2011 @ 6:18 am

    Me too..
    I miss the ‘Shared philosophy’ of kindness, compassion, understanding and LOVE’ that was supposed to be here in this ‘place’
    Never ever would have expected hypocrisy!

  • By Christine, May 12, 2011 @ 12:25 pm

    Hi Carol, I have to agree with you my friend. I too made a lot of friends through this blog. This is all very sad. This was a place where love and compassion was spoken of alot. There are some lovely genuine people on here. I hope all are well.
    Take good care everyone,

  • By Nadine, May 12, 2011 @ 12:52 pm

    A moi aussi !

    Le blog me manque !
    Pammy me manque !
    Les ” pensees ” de Paul me manquent
    Paul me manque !
    Et vous toutes me manquez !
    Vous etiez pour moi toutes et tous comme une famille !

    Je vous aime toutes et tous !


  • By patriciac, May 12, 2011 @ 3:54 pm

    Pam, Carol, Christine, Nadine, your comments are a breath of fresh air on this blog that has been off-course for a while. Let’s keep in mind all the good things from the past and pick up the pieces from there: love, compaasion and friendship. Negative people: please abstain from posting comments.

  • By Pam, May 12, 2011 @ 11:56 pm

    I just want to be heard..I want peace, understanding and kindness. I worked hard and I do not deserve any of this..and I am not the one responsible…I deserve some compassion from Paul and I deserve and seek mediation with him…yes I do..I do not deserve al the bashing that YOU, Mr. Glaser have done to me and I do not deserve the extreme cruelity I have been subjected to by ‘some’ of your fans and from yourself as well.

    This is so not right…and it certainly is NOT what/who he proclaims himself to be through his writing and this blog..
    I am asking you, sir for proper Talk with you..and true demonstration of your ‘good’ word, not what you have been subjecting me to for far too long while in your ‘employment’ and beyond!
    Thank you!

  • By hilly, May 13, 2011 @ 12:01 am

    I’ve stayed away while the professional trolls had their fun at my expense elsewhere; it is time that this blog either returned to discussing what PMG put before us or came to a graceful end. There has been too much cruelty aimed at Pam and anyone else that these strange and twisted minds decided to attack.
    So I join Patricia in asking those who come here for their own agendas to either discuss the ‘thought’ at the top of the thread or go elsewhere.

  • By Pam, May 13, 2011 @ 12:10 am

    Thank you Hilly..Patricia
    I thoroughly enjoyed this blog with Paul. And all of was designed with him to be a unique sharing and learning journey for everyone..himself included! I am sad that things have become unbelievably misunderstood and judgmental against me. And please, don’t think for one second that I don’t understand your feelings, because no one more than me can!

    I do hope sometime we can all ‘return’ to the topic and that Paul too will return to the topic..

  • By hilly, May 13, 2011 @ 1:14 am

    I’ve been reading this : Detachment and Compassion in Early Buddhism by Elizabeth J. Harris. It is worth it.

  • By fee, May 13, 2011 @ 3:13 am

    Hear, hear!!!! I agree thoroughly with what has just been said by Patriciac, Hilly etc.
    Enough of the cruel barbs and let love, compassion and friendship be shown. Those who want to be negative, please go elsewhere.

  • By patriciac, May 13, 2011 @ 8:33 am

    I’m feeling a great sense of relief. Ever since the ‘story’ was broken by TMZ, whenever I would look at this blog, I would feel tense and upset at the nastiness and cruelty that began to appear. In reading the comments of Pam, Hilly, Christine, Nadine and Fee, I feel there is hope for us to get back the real spirit of what this blog taught us: love, compassion, understanding and friendship. Thank you all.

  • By Pam, May 13, 2011 @ 4:52 pm

    I saw this mission statement today:
    ‘”Our Mission is to find, to understand, and to fulfill the needs of another”

    I tried to do that for everyone here..for ‘him’…

    Weird how working hard and making a difference for others can sometimes be used against you!

  • By Chris, May 13, 2011 @ 9:27 pm

    Hi, this is my first time here and wanted to share my support for Paul. I don’t know if some or all of you are aware of this, but right now, his ex-wife, Tracy, is suing him for money owed to her for alimony and child support.

    Yes, I know, that TMZ is not exactly the most reputable of celebrity information sources, considering that they are a tabloid, so I’m not going to go into too much detail here or analyze it either.

    Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not here to stir up trouble. Just here to show support for Paul.

    In fact, I wrote a very passionate response just a short while ago at that article site, trying to get the haters to realize that Paul has done so much good for this world regarding Pediatric AIDS Research and I think it’s both sad and anger-inducing that when Paul’s name is mentioned, the only responses you’ll get are:

    1) “OH, right, the washed-up, dried-up, has- been from Starsky & Hutch.”

    2) “Who?” and then they’ll laugh. This pisses me off even more than the first response I mentioned above. They’d rather care about what’s going on on American Idol than what Paul is doing with his book, which I’m so looking forward to buying.

    I agree with Pam-enough of the hate and bickering back and forth and more love for Paul! :D

  • By Chris, May 14, 2011 @ 5:25 am

    Pam, please see that the last part of that post, that I agreed with you. I know that you care alot. I know that you really put your heart and soul into Paul’s website.

    The point of my post was to get the ignorant haters at TMZ – the ONES WHO DON’T EVEN KNOW WHO HE IS – to see that Paul was, is, and always will be a wonderful and decent human being. I was trying to reason with them til I was blue in the face (and I felt it, too! lol), but today, I realized there’s no getting anywhere with them.

    Hilly posted to me at Facebook and gave me some wonderful advice, that it’s best to just forget them. She’s right. They’re just going to hate, hate and hate anyway. It’s futile to try to reason with them. :-/

    Pam, We’re ALL here for Paul (you included!). Let’s focus on that and move on. :)

  • By patriciac, May 14, 2011 @ 5:33 am

    Hi Chris, I have seen the comments on TMZ and it is disgusting. TMZ attracts some strange characters.
    Hi Pam, “And what about me!!” You are right. What about you? I truly believe that you worked very hard for this blog, for Paul and for the fans. Your dedication is reflected in this blog. I don’t idolize anyone. I enjoy Paul’s work and his writing, period. You told us a bit about what happened through your poem which I see has been removed. I hope that one day you can tell your side of the story because everyone deserves to be able to be heard.

  • By hilly, May 14, 2011 @ 6:36 am

    Pam….I know you have been villified on TMZ – and so was I. I even contacted TMZ to try to get my name and website and e-mail address removed from one of the posts!I thought it had gone but then I wasn’t too sure.
    These people thrive on hurting others. They thrive on getting exactly the responses you have posted in the last few days. I’m not saying you are wrong to show how you feel – but don’t give them anything to play with.
    It is time to move on and it is time for all of us to forget that these people exist. Like all bullies they will soon get bored and go find some other victim…but as long as they see that they have hurt you they will go on getting their kicks.

    Waves to Chris in passing…and moves on to think about other things

  • By Pam, May 14, 2011 @ 1:17 pm

    I miss the good stuff 
    that used to be spoken here
    The kindness, compassion 
    and great shared thoughts
    The way it helped everyone, 
    the ‘self discoveries’ and friendships it brought.

    I miss the ‘TOB’ the ‘love’, 
    the ‘cyber’ hugs,
    Written and unwritten,
    In addition to the Author,
    It’s what brought
    People here.
    A journey to ‘one-ness’
    To seeing our ‘ties’
    I miss the good stuff
    That used to be here.

  • By patriciac, May 14, 2011 @ 4:38 pm

    Me too, Pam. Me too. I miss Paul’s words, I miss yours too. I miss the atmosphere of the blog that brought calm and serenity to my life. I don’t know what we can do to get it back. I wish I had a magic wand to fix things.

  • By Pam, May 14, 2011 @ 5:15 pm

    I wish there were such things as magic wands, ‘way-back machines’..things that cure broken hearts, broken trust and a lot more!

    I miss a lot too, Patricia..It was nice and comforting to believe in those ‘Shared Thoughts’…I still have a bit of hope that I will be able to ‘believe’ in them again..
    I hope that we can also Share in them again..
    It’s going to be a long journey for that I fear!

  • By Softly, May 15, 2011 @ 12:05 am

    i posted on “home” but they don’t show up. The are there but only when i’m logged in.
    Would you be so kind and check.

  • By Softly, May 15, 2011 @ 10:21 am

    with a long delay they did show up….

  • By hilly, May 15, 2011 @ 11:11 am

    they are there Softly – and well said!
    I have noticed this time lapse between posting and being able to see things (Fee said she couldn’t see her post but I could..’go figure’ as the kids say) I wonder if it has something to do with server time zones?
    But I have enough trouble with time zones anyway

  • By Nadine, May 27, 2011 @ 2:52 am

    Plus de commentaires depuis que Paul ne vient plus sur ce blog ! vous me manquez les filles vous aussi Paul !

    More comments since Paul no longer comes on this blog! I miss you girls you too Paul!

  • By Pam, June 13, 2011 @ 3:51 pm

    I miss the author’s topics…
    and the mindful thoughts that used to be here..

    Love…it IS the ‘purest aspiration of humankind…’it ties us all together…

    “Our ability to love is our truest power, our greatest power as human beings.’


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