I have been informed that I need to contribute more to the blog.  For those of you who feel this way, my apologies. I forget that this too is a place where I get to meditate. Interesting. Having finished my first book, I’m now looking at my other projects waiting to see which will light a fire in me. In other words, I’m not writing allot right now. It’s easy to forget that it’s a cool place to hang out.

I’m meditating on drawing right now.

I’m glad the blog has created some helpful dialogue. I don’t want to answer each one, however in reading over your conversations, I hope that some of the questions and explanations will sink in and come out coherently.

I find the simplicity of what I have learned and study to be a great comfort because it makes it easier to remember.

Someone wrote questions about ‘detached.’ Without going back through my posts, and therefore leaving my self vulnerable to the possibility of contradicting myself, I relate to the word ‘detached’ in one of two ways. Either it has an emotional/judgmental dimension, or it is pure description of a simple action. Possibly the confusion comes from the former. By plugging into our awareness, we are able to observe/witness our sensory experience of existence. ‘Sensory’ includes emotions…the things that our mind attaches to events in our formative years. In those years we  feel fear, yearning, love. Fear that we are helpless, hungry for sustenance, and, love. Those are the feelings we first know as creatures. Primitive and simple and these three colors are then used by our minds to describe to itself, to  ‘know,’ and orchestrate the many complex scenarios that comprised our remembered and forgotten childhoods.

In observing/witnesssing our sensory experience of existence, we are still experiencing it because it is happening to a part of us. If it’s a good feeling, who’s going to questions that?

Puts me in mind of a documentary I saw on Bhuddist priests in Japan meditating  for great lengths of time. Periodically someone would come up behind them and hit their shoulders really hard with bamboo sticks. The point being, there are two extremes to which our minds go when confronted with hard feelings and easy feelings. They are aversion and attachment. When things are good, we wan’t to keep them that way.( Notice, the mind is talking about ‘control’ here…”want to keep them that way…”). When things feel bad, difficult…our mind goes full tilt into aversion. Get away. Run from that feeling, and if you can’t run, hide. There are many places to hide; anger, controlling, hating, jealousy, depression, sadness…but the BEST one is DENIAL.

When the young priest cracks the meditating priests on the shoulders, they’re saying ‘be here…be now.”

See, it’s a misconception, or rather the mind’s indulgence in giving some value to meditating by saying that if one meditates, then one arrives somewhere. Gets to peace…love, God….  The problem with thinking that is that the attendant question just will not go away; Are we there yet? And if we are, when are we leaving? How long are we staying. Are  you feeling anything yet?

Our ability to be present is inclusive of everything…all feelings, sensations, thoughts. Consciousness is our unique ability to be aware. Of everything that happens inside and outside of our bodies. From that place of awareness, we can experience our pain and fear AND we can also see it as just part of a larger experience which we are getting to watch…which we are choosing…to watch and glory in the experience of our oneness with everything that exists.

Definitions. Consider this: the dictionary is an edited/published book put together by a committee mentality that decides what best defines a word in terms of its history as well as its current use.  It’s interesting that ‘detached’ was reported to mean to disassociate from one’s feelings. I find that interesting, because it honors the mind’s need to know, measure, define the word, yet ironically includes consciousness and the ego; “disassociate from one’s feelings.” In a way, that definition and product of the mind is acknowledging that there is a ‘place’ from where one can see and execute disassociating from one’s feelings by choosing to be conscious. I bet if you put the mind on trial, it would completely deny the existence of anything so unmeasurable as consciousness.

Lastly, I want to re-visit my definition of ‘patience.’ I believe I have suggested that patience is the remembered experience of love. (I had said ‘hope,’ I think, but ‘love’ seems more inclusive).

I take issue with someone’s use of the word ‘remembered.’ Not because it doesn’t suit, but because if we’re not careful, when can look to one aspect of ‘remembered,’ and miss the other. The first aspect is remembered experiences. We can call up these remembered experiences, the one where we felt love, togetherness, joy, and that is one way to remember, albeit it comes with a whole world of experiences which our bodies remember but have been ‘un’remembered, suppressed as being too difficult. How do we selectively ‘turn on’ our memories and truly prevent them from visiting all those ‘subterranean’ places our more colorful religious figures describe as ‘hell?’

The second aspect of remembering is key; By exercising our ability to be aware, by meditating on the present with the help of all these sensations and feelings and thoughts that are there to remind us that we have a conscious place, we get to feel and nurture our sense of peace, love, oneness… and return to it whenever we want…and that, that is what we ‘remember.’ Our ability to experience the purest feeling of love gives us our understanding of faith…(that this ‘place,’ this one-ness exists), and that remembered feeling  give us patience and hope.

Wishing you every bit of all of it.



  • By jools, August 12, 2010 @ 1:54 am

    Good golly Mr G, as always, so much to digest. Just to consider one part – the use and definition of words. I’m currently reading Bill Bryson’s book ‘Mother Tongue’. It’s a fascinating look into the origins and evolution of language; how the meanings of words change, sometimes over dozens of generations, sometimes only within a decade or two. To an extent I rail against the speed with which some words are accepted into dictionaries, and therefore legitimised, rather than waiting to see if they survive the course of time. But as is often pointed out to me, and I accept is natural, language is a living thing and has to move on. I think one of my concerns is that the way words are upturned so readily we begin to fail to understand what each other is saying. On some levels can lead to a potentially dangerous state of mis-communication.
    It would be a shame if our richness of language was eroded and dumbed-down into ‘text-speak’ and not much else.

    Looking forward to when your book is available, and for my own writer’s(laziness)fire to be re-stoked; but keeping some sort of creativity going by taking photos and playing around with them on photoshop.


  • By Christine, August 12, 2010 @ 1:55 am

    Hi Paul, Its really good to have you back!! Missed your ‘thoughts’. What a great post this time; not that I’m saying your other comments weren’t good too!(ever get the feeling you are digging yourself into a hole lol).
    Seriously though, I think, and I say ‘think’ as you know with me things tend to take a bit to sink in(no kidding, I hear people cry!) I finally understand the ‘detach’ word/meaning. I will re-read this blog and come back to the points, letting this slow brain get to work.
    Thinking of you,
    with love as always,
    Christine xx

  • By fee, August 12, 2010 @ 2:13 am

    Interesting comments there Paul and welcome back. Nice to hear that your book is now finished and looking forward to reading it.

    I for one understand that you have a lot on your mind at the moment so not always able to come in here.

    Yes, remembering can be a two edged sword as it is lovely to remember past happy events but then we also remember the sad and unhappy ones. I have found that a part of growing older is the tendency to revisit memories of our childhood and youth. However we can get too involved in doing that which is not a good idea. Life is too beautiful to dwell continually in the past. We have to stay present as you put it to fully live life.

    Meditation is always a good thing to strive for but not all of us are able to do this. My other half and I have just taken up Taoist Tai Chi and when we do manage to master the movements says she hopefully, it will be a meditation in itself. At this early stage we are struggling to say the least and lots of concentration is needed.
    I know that I have grown recently with trying to look at life and what I do in a different way. Trying to see how other people think and feel and caring about them. Not always easy to do when you are feeling down or mad yourself. Slowly though I am learning to live a better and fuller life and not judge others. That last bit is hard though.
    People are just so interesting with all their foibles and idiosyncrasies. Life would be very boring if we all thought the same way wouldn’t it?

    I love that last paragraph of yours and wish you and all the others the same thing

    Peace, Fee

  • By fee, August 12, 2010 @ 2:23 am

    Flipping heck Jools!! When I started to type my comment there were no comments and still you beat me to it dear!! LOL! Yes, I am still awaiting your novel to be finished for me to read!!
    Must agree too with the change in the use of the English language as I too hate to see it mangled and I so strongly agree that it is so easy to be misunderstood when communicating over the net or even by phone. Different cultures have different meanings for certain words even English- Australian- American.
    BTW Jools does do lovely photo shopping of photographs as I have been the lucky recipient of several of her works of art.


  • By hilly, August 12, 2010 @ 3:19 am

    wow – a lot to consider; not just in your contribution, Paul, but in the responses from Jools and Fee and Christine. I need time to digest the lot.
    I love your remark about a dictionary and a committee mentality…add to that the online ‘anyone can add whatever they think it means’ dictionaries and we will all be in trouble PDQ;
    Jools suggest Bill Bryson’s book – I’ll have to give it a try although i find the man very very irritating to rad.
    I’m throwing another one into the fray – one I think you and Jools will both enjoy. Jools – because she and I have had the odd (often very odd) exchange about language; and we both have the same reference points. You, Paul, because …well because ti seems to me that you have an enquiring mind that likes to explore these things.
    The Lexicographer’s Dilemma by Jack Lynch.

    Off to work and to digest…and reflect on the pritfalls (nay pratfalls) of being honest with the unemployment people…why is it that the people who know how to use the system get away with it and the innocently honest get hit every time?

  • By hilly, August 12, 2010 @ 3:20 am

    oh and I just have to throw this one in…real 19th century Nanny nonsense:
    “Patience is a virtue,
    Virtue is a grace,
    Grace is a little girl who should go and wash her face….”
    daft but fun!

  • By Terri, August 12, 2010 @ 7:17 am

    Hello Paul, Pleasent reading this morning. It felt a little more personal. I always have to read your words more than once but I feel that’s o.k. for me. I end up thinking most of the time we are on the same page. Good you are taking a little breathe. I hope you are enjoying some ‘summer’ time with your daughter. You know how fast time goes. I have one who will be off to collage next year. Seems like she just arrived! Always wishing you love and happiness. Terri

  • By Sandie, August 12, 2010 @ 10:15 am

    Hi Paul
    I know that a lot of people may read your blog so here are some of my comments. You mentioned Buddhism and Buddings monks. Sorry for not agreeing with you because most Buddhist beliefs do not help, except perhaps for meditation, which is also taught in the Jewish and Christian faiths. Buddhism “plays” into what Nietzsche calls “slave thinking” which keeps people happy no matter what the situation. It’s more of a “philosophy” that will uphold the status-quo at the expense of those who are suffering. I’ve read your blog and so often, you write things like “there is nothing to change”. Are you speaking metaphorically? I ask this because there are Buddhists in India where the caste system is “ok” because those people from the lower castes may have karmic debts to pay for, thus, suffering is “ok”.

    From what I also understand from Buddhism is that it’s a philosophy. Why is it then that so many who get involved in this ultimately venerate Buddha? I do not believe that everything should be accepted as part of the HERE much as an abused wife should not accept her lot all because of what could be her karmatic debt. I think in cases like this, for instance, people should take control of their lives and not conform to any situation. I agree with you that humans have urge to want to have to control over everything but there are times when a need for control is right and moral. I do not think Buddhism superior to Judaism or Christianity all because it has no rules, because it does.

    There was WW2 and most of the Japanese soldiers were Buddihts or Shinto believers and they committed the most atrocities during that war, while some became Kamikazi fighters. Why? Because they denied their individuality and saw themselves as one with their Emperor (Read Zen at War).

    If Lazarus had been Buddha instead of Jesus woud he have told him to accept mortality? If Magdalene met Buddha instead of Jesus would she have been assured complete forgiveness without the karma lecture? If Paul (the apostle) met Buddha would he have been forgiven and given the same chance as the original apostles after he murdered so many of them? You talk about compassion and love and yet the very best example IMHO is Jesus of Nazareth.

    Paul, have you read the New Testament? You talk of unconditional love but in our heart of hearts isn’t it true that the only one who practiced it and taught us that not to condemn ourselves is Jesus of Nazareth. Sometimes the answer is as close as your breath. What some people cannot see sometimes is what is the most obvious.

    Last night I read a blog that touched my soul. It was a very simple blog. It didn’t even make me think but it made me feel what is in my heart as you would call it. I respect all your opinions however but I wish to make my thoughts known too.


  • By hilly, August 12, 2010 @ 11:29 am

    I took my time, I read this blog carefully and in honor of that I’ve even taken the time to prepare this before posting it – to check it and to be sure that my eye didn’t miss something that my brain thought it remembered.
    I found myself nodding away as I read Paul’s blog and the contributions that followed.
    Words are so easily played with – re-used, re-membered, put together with a new emphasis on a different syllable and give new meaning, new force?
    Like Jools I feel uncomfortable when a word is legitimized too quickly for my taste by a dictionary entry and I hope I will remember to go back to the dictionary in a few years time to see what happened to them. Sometimes a meaning takes you by surprise doesn’t it? I remember the first time I saw “impacted” used as a verb instead of ‘making an impact on’…up until then that verb only applied to wisdom teeth in my vocabulary.
    Patience…such a difficult virtue sometimes. Meditation helps us to focus on our here, our now. But are we not impatient to get to ‘there’ and ‘then’? and does our quest through meditation in some way negate the very patience that is needed to take the time to reflect and consider and wonder.
    Wonder…think and question.
    Wonder…be in awe…how awesome….how awe-full we are as we see ourselves in relation to the universe.
    In our hierarchical world where there is that playground element of ‘mine’s bigger/better/prettier/richer than yours’ there are those who seem in some way to want to ‘play off’ a belief a creed a philosophy against another. Not just the crusading spirit of mine’s right and yours is wrong…but a strange incapacity to see that all belief systems inter-correlate. That one person’s ‘truth’ is another’s ‘spin off sect’…reading one or all of the ‘holy texts’ does not necessarily confer greater wisdom. If we read without striving to understand what do we really learn?
    I’m writing…I’m reading and editing someone else’s writing too. I’m in awe of the talent of a new writer that I am ‘editing’….her work makes me wonder why I bother to go on with mine. But I’ve started so I’ll finish.
    Writing is a cool place to be when you want to question and explore your own thoughts and emotions. Playing them out like an actor – using the characters to take the strain. But being careful not to project too much of ourselves on a character that someone else may have created for us.

    So now I’d better get back to the things I need to do in the here and the now to help me move forward.
    Fee,… I have a great mental picture of you doing Tai Chi (in your kilt in my mad mind!).
    Jools,…put me on the list for that book.
    Paul,…forgive me but I can’t resist this Having finished my first book, I’m now looking at my other projects waiting to see which will light a fire in me.… as far as I’m concerned your book will do the trick…”come on baby light my fire!”

  • By Nadine, August 12, 2010 @ 12:44 pm

    Me revoilà moi la pauvre petite Française incapable de répondre à vos pensées Paul ! avec un traducteur incapable de me traduire à la lettre votre texte ! je suis triste ce n’est pas évident ; Je vais donc vous demander une petite faveur : Seriez vous ” capable ” d’écrire une Pensées en Français ? je suis incapable de vous écrire en Anglais je le reconnais j’aurai dû mieux travailler mon Anglais à l’école!!!
    Merci Paul pour ce blog à notre intention je suppose que les filles sont de mon avis pour moi c’est un Honneur de pouvoir ” discuter ” avec vous ! Enfin j’espère pouvoir un peu discuter avec vous mais en Français !
    Amitié Nadine

  • By hilly, August 12, 2010 @ 1:00 pm

    Nadine wrote:

    Here I am again; poor little Frenchgirl unable to reply to your thoughts, Paul. My translator [she lean the tool not me!] can’t translate what you wrote accurately.I’m sad because it isn’t easy; so I’m going to ask you a little favor…would you be able to write a Thought in French? I can’t write to you in English, I admit I should have made more effort with English at school!
    thank you Paul for giving us this blog; I’m sure the others agree with me that it is an honour to be able to ‘chat’ with you. I’d like the chance to ‘chat’ with you a little, but in French
    All the best, Nadine

    translator’s note: ready when you are folks!

  • By hilly, August 12, 2010 @ 1:00 pm

    rats – ignore the typo “she means the tool….”

  • By Christine, August 12, 2010 @ 4:02 pm

    You know re-reading your comments Paul, you are so fascinating. Sometimes your words and those of others tend to go over the top of my head, it can take a bit for some of it to sink in but I have to say it is so worth it.
    Since you started this blog, I and I dare say others have learned a lot from you. It really is a pleasure and a privilege to be able to ‘talk’ with you this way.
    Each new blog of yours is met with a smile, and a jump of the heart!(sorry, but its true lol).
    You are so appreciated. :)
    with love as always,
    Christine xx

  • By Sue, August 12, 2010 @ 4:43 pm


    I don’t mean to sound confrontational, yet I’m afraid that I will simply through my use of words. If intent means anything to you, know I’m not intending to be confrontational.

    That said, Paul has been very open in stating that what he engages in gives him great comfort. Who are any one of us to deny that great comfort to anyone else simply because it *might* not be what gives *us* comfort?

    Paul is not Buddha, nor is he Lazarus, Christ, Mary Magdalene, nor the apostle Paul. He is a human being who has studied and sought learning and comfort, and he has stated here and now that he has found that comfort.

    Why would one, then, take the time to excoriate what gives a simple man simple comfort simply because it might not be what gives you comfort?

    Can it not be accepted that he is a man who knows his own mind and spirit, his own sense of self and what makes him comfortable and be happy that he has attained the peace he has sought after without attempting to denigrate the path he has chosen?

    If believing in a Jewish wise man from two thousand years ago gives you the comfort you seek, then isn’t that good enough for you? Why does it seem to me that you are wanting to try and talk someone else who has already found his comfort around to your way of receiving comfort? Isn’t it enough that you have that comfort, and that he has his?

    Why must one be right and the other wrong?

    I don’t understand, truly.


  • By Rachelle, August 12, 2010 @ 8:06 pm

    Hi Paul,
    Nice shared thoughts and I’m glad to hear the book is finished as I look forward to reading when it’s available!:)
    Good point about ‘remembering’. Thank you*g*…
    Have a nice upcoming weekend to you, Pam and everyone. TGIF!! Rach =)

  • By sknash, August 13, 2010 @ 2:11 am

    Good Friday Morning Paul,
    Nice to see another post from you, always makes my day!! Happy to hear your novel is completed and anxiously awaiting to get my copy. Sadly, I am not much further from finishing mine. Seems things such as work get in the way, but very grateful for work too. You, Jake and your family have been on my mind, but especially this month. HOpe you have enjoying summer some. Here in Central Florida where the temps have topped 100 degrees for nearly two months, I am ready for some cool temps and fall. Wishing you peace and with gratitude for your postings. You are one special man. Love and Blessings-Susan

  • By fee, August 13, 2010 @ 3:58 am

    “Tai Chi in my kilt” indeed, Hilly!!!! Methinks it would be a tad difficult!! You are as bad as our daughter who, when she found out last night nearly fell off her chair laughing at the thought of her parents turning “hippy” as she called it! Just as well for her that we were on Skype as she is in Sicily at moment studying Italian,well out of reach of any retribution.

    Susan,I don’t envy you those temps. Here at moment we are in winter and it’s cold!

    Some other very well put comments there folks.
    We all have our own different ways of coping with life and our own beliefs. What suits one may not suit another but as Hilly says they all inter-correlate. Just different ways and different names to the same God.

  • By Sue, August 13, 2010 @ 4:10 am

    Sez Fee:

    Well, I’d have to say that the above would depend upon how the word ‘god’ is defined. If it is simply a word used to define that comfort/peace/whathaveyou we all seek as part of our natures, I’ll agree.

    If it stands for a personification of some being, then I’ll have my peace and comfort without one, thanks.

    But just to show you how very generous I am, you can have mine.



  • By Sandie, August 13, 2010 @ 5:58 am

    Why Hello Sue

    That’s nice of you to state your views, but I wasn’t really talking to you. That question was addressed to Paul. It was because I was interested in his views. This also is a discussion blog as I understand it and since I am a single mother working for the Federal government in Michigan, I thought of venturing my opinion. I did not know that you were so sensitive when it came to matters about Jesus Christ.

    I never said that Paul was Buddha, Lazarus, or Paul the Apostle. I hope that you review my humble opinion and see that I was addressing Paul Michael Glaser. Neither do I want to stop him from sharing whatever he preaches or believes in. I was asking him some questions and sharing what I feel in my soul.

    I am a member of Hubpages and I read something about this blog and I was interested. I wanted to see what reception I would get if I expressed my own opinion and I am sorry if asking Paul direct and honest questions seem to offend you Sue.

    What is it you don’t understand about my questions to Paul? OMG, I didn’t know that expressing another faith here and asking questions would make you angry Sue. I was just curious about the crowd here. I also thought this was Paul Michael Glaser’s blog that was “open” to anyone.

    What is so offensive about Jesus Christ? Are Christians and Jews allowed to this blog? Isn’t it curious that Paul’s name is Paul?


  • By Sue, August 13, 2010 @ 7:02 am

    Hi back, Sandie!

    You state: “That’s nice of you to state your views, but I wasn’t really talking to you. That question was addressed to Paul. It was because I was interested in his views. This also is a discussion blog as I understand it and since I am a single mother working for the Federal government in Michigan, I thought of venturing my opinion. I did not know that you were so sensitive when it came to matters about Jesus Christ.”

    Sue says: “Well, Sandy, I do know that you were talking to Paul, but I felt that I could put my 2 cents in as well. Thanks so very much for allowing me to do that. You are a good person. I also thank you for being so concerned for me vis a vis my feelings about Jesus Christ. Again, that’s so very nice for you to care about me that way. I can assure you that I am not sensitive when it comes to matters of the Lord, Christ Jesus, but it pleases me to think that there are good people like you out there caring about my feelings. Again, I thank you.”

    Sandie then says: “[...]and I am sorry if asking Paul direct and honest questions seem to offend you [sic]Sue.”

    Sue then replies: “Yet again you prove what a good person you are right here by apologizing for offending someone who you have not offended. I agree, Sandie, it’s always best to make sure that someone isn’t offended, even when they say they’re not because, well, you never know! Offense can be so funny that way, don’t you think?”

    Sandie then asks: “What is it that you don’t understand about my questions to Paul?”

    Sue replies: “Why, absolutely nothing, Sandie. I thought what few questions there were were spelled well and placed within wonderful sentence structure. They were quite understandable, and I do thank you dearly for doing that for those of us less intellectually inclined! Again, your goodness just radiates from the shell of your being.”

    Sandie says: “I didn’t know that expressing another faith here and asking questions would make you angry, Sue.”

    Sue says: “Again with the wonderfulness that is you, Sandie. Making sure that even though it’s quite obvious I’m in no way angry, just going that extra touch to make absolutely sure that I’m not. My, I don’t know what I would possibly do if I did not have you here to show me the error of my ways, dear Sandie. Your are a credit to your Lord, you are, and I hope that you hold that title with pride.”

    Blessings be upon you, my daughter

  • By Christine, August 13, 2010 @ 8:50 am

    Hi Pam M, What lovely words. This is a world in my opinion that could do with more compassion and caring not only as a whole but each individual could make a difference if we all just stopped and thought; ‘how will this conversation/situation effect the other?. It really doesn’t take a lot to make a difference in someone else’s life.
    However that can work as a negative or positive, its easy sometimes to unintentionally hurt a person’s feelings by not realizing ‘their’ sore points. We all have subjects that cause us pain, we try to steer clear of them at all costs but there will always be a time when it will happen.
    We are (my personal opinion here) very lucky to be able to ‘talk’ to Paul, should that be communicate? no matter, either way, he is an inspiration and I for one am grateful for his wise words and the time he gives to us.
    With love as always,

  • By Christine, August 13, 2010 @ 8:53 am

    Oh and I can’t wait for Paul’s book either!! :)

  • By carol4spot, August 13, 2010 @ 11:04 am

    I have to confess, I really don’t understand the ‘dynamics’ of how one experiences or wants to experience these feelings of ‘oneness’ and
    ‘love’ and ‘peace’ , I just know that I do much of the time feel these feelings. Perhaps it’s as simple as mindfulness or awareness. I don’t know. It sure feels nice though. It gets complicated to try and figure it out.From an intellectual standpoint, if it just comes naturally does it make me a ‘bimbo’ for not understanding why or the dynamics of why I feel these wonderful feelings? Maybe I should just keep going with the flow…By the way, on ‘remembering’, I do in fact visit the ‘subterranean’ places which could be deemed as hell, and I ‘remember’ , I understand it, I’ve faced my demons and try to live in the present. The past cannot be changed so fretting over it seems fruitless but ‘remembering’ it and understanding all the lessons I’ve learned from it makes me who I am..Hi everyone! Congrats to Paul on the completion of your book. Can’t wait to buy it. Love rules! xocarol

  • By Frances, August 14, 2010 @ 3:34 am

    Hi Carol4sport,
    Glad to hear that someone else gets a bit lost in the intellectual assessments!. I for one will keep going with the flow and enjoying every minute, this is my “Chill Out Zone” (another “hippy” expression Fee!), but facing the subterranean is good as long as we learn from the experiences and it can help us face the future better and stronger.
    as always enjoy your posts, as we seem to be on the same wavelength.

    as always,

    Take Care.

    Hope everyone has a lovely weekend.

  • By Frances, August 14, 2010 @ 3:55 am

    Sorry for the extra R in your name,slip of the finger!!lol.

  • By carol4spot, August 14, 2010 @ 5:48 am

    Frances, thanks for ‘relating’ and I enjoy your posts as well! Also enjoy all the other posts too and am looking forward to them…Hi everyone….xocarol

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, August 14, 2010 @ 3:11 pm


  • By hilly, August 14, 2010 @ 10:49 pm

    patience and perseverance….I understood much more of Hilda’s post than I thought I would – all I had to do was take the time to read it with my french-speaking eyes and mind. Haha PMG – thanks to you I’m learning Spanish!

  • By Frances, August 15, 2010 @ 3:53 am

    Read this little verse the other day and thought you would like it.

    A teller of tails and a dreamer of dreams,
    a builder of bridges, a planner of schemes.
    Could this be one person? you think it ontrue?

  • By Frances, August 15, 2010 @ 4:04 am

    but just look again, for that person is you!
    look back on your life and take, stock of the years
    and all you accomplished through laughter and tears.
    Remember the children, how they took your hand
    remember the stories,adventures you planned?
    And how you nursed someone in sickness and pain, no thought of reward and no question of gain?
    You may not feel clever, stand out in a crowd,
    But count your achievements, be thankful and proud,
    And look to the future, there’s much to be done,
    There;s joy to be earned and love to be won,

  • By Frances, August 15, 2010 @ 4:12 am

    Keep building your bridges and planning your schemes,
    Remember that YOU are the weaver of dreams.

    This took up more than I had planned!!
    Bad eye sight was the reason it was delivered in three posts!

    Take Care.

  • By hilly, August 15, 2010 @ 4:55 am

    it didn’t make it difficult to read Frances – and it is worth re-reading IMO

  • By Christine, August 15, 2010 @ 9:39 am

    Hi Frances, What a lovely poem. Thank you for sharing. Hope you have had a good weekend.
    Best wishes,

  • By carol4spot, August 15, 2010 @ 1:04 pm

    Frances, thanks for sharing that wonderful little poem!! Sometimes things simply said mean so much…xocarol

  • By Frances, August 16, 2010 @ 2:23 am

    glad you all liked it,

    Take Care.

  • By Christine, August 16, 2010 @ 3:01 pm

    I was just sitting thinking here tonight about the effect others have on your life. Just a day or so ago I was saying how much I feel I have learned from Paul here on this blog. As I’m sure others have too.
    When I was young I was in a class at school and because I was terribly shy they moved me and a couple of friends to a smaller class; with the hope that we would gain confidence. We had this teacher who I have to say was the most patient, caring guy going. It didn’t matter to this man how many times he had to repeat and explain things he did it with a smile and never made you feel stupid. To cut a long story short, because of this man, I left school with A’s. I still look back on it and wonder how the heck I pulled it off but this man worked wonders. I often wonder how he is these days, my point is, its not always what you are being taught that’s important but the way in which its explained, the care and understanding in how its given is the important thing. My teacher at school was a lovely man, and although I’m not at all sure Paul would want to be classed as a teacher, maybe not, but the outcome is the same, I have learned alot from you Paul and I thank you. :) xx

  • By Frances, August 17, 2010 @ 2:44 am

    I have mentioned here before how difficult I find Meditation, although I still try, but find it hard to shut out all “outside” thoughts.
    I re-read Paul’s post and understood meditation for the first time, and realised that I was looking at it from a different perspective. I hope that from now on it maybe a little bit easier to practice. Here’s hoping!

    Hi Christine, I think a lot of us have a teacher that we remember from school, Mine was a Music and RE teacher and the reason I remember her was because she treated us as adults and spoke to us equals (not the done thing in our day!). I even tried looking her up on Facebook, using the name she had then, but no luck. I know it was a bit of a long shot but was fun trying.

  • By hilly, August 17, 2010 @ 3:17 am

    It is true – a good teacher makes you want to learn and fires your enthusiasm – a bad teacher ruins the subject for ever.
    My good teachers were both history teachers. The first was a nun (mother superior of the convent)…OK I’ll pause while some people ave a good laugh at the thought of me of all people being taught by a nun!
    She was an intelligent woman who made no secret of the fact that becoming a nun had allowed her to escape the ‘baby-machine’ life her mother had and be able to study; she was the one who told me that she ‘suspended’ her intelligence when it came to accepting some of the teachings of her religion. She taught and encouraged us to look question and to look for our answers and explanations. Long before it was fashionable nor less PC in Britain she taught us about all the leading religious and philosophical threads that make our society what it has become (this was at the time when the Beatles went to the Maharishi so all things ‘eastern’ were in vogue).
    The second was an iconoclastic historian despite the Establishment (with a very big E) school he taught in….he set paper titles like ‘Catherine, the great?” or “Revolutions changes nothing, discuss.” and left us to argue a yay or a nay.

    And yes PMG…you have influenced me to look at what she taught all over again. So maybe that makes 3 good teachers in my life

  • By hilly, August 17, 2010 @ 3:18 am

    the ‘she’ was the nun BTW – the second teacher was also the school’s Rugby coach; definitely not a she!

  • By Christine, August 17, 2010 @ 6:18 am

    Hi Frances, I tried to look up my teacher too on Facebook with no luck either!!. I guess we all have a favourite ‘teacher’. Funny isn’t it how certain people remain in our minds? probably the ones who have influenced us over the years.

    Hi Hilly, hehe, glad to know that rugby coach was a ‘he’ lol, not exactly a sport for young ladies or nuns :) Oh goodness you made me laugh!.

  • By carol4spot, August 17, 2010 @ 11:05 am

    Hi everyone. Just jumping in on the teacher topic…
    To me, a teacher would be meaningless if the student weren’t aware. If you are aware or mindful you can learn from everyone and everything you come across everyday. A teacher doesn’t have to be a person it could be the tree you are standing next to. If you are aware of that tree, it has alot to teach you about beauty and strength and peace and solace. A teacher could be the dog you are petting. If you are aware, the dog will teach you about unconditional love and devotion. A teacher could be the army of ants on your concrete steps. If you are aware, the ants will teach you about ‘oneness’ and good work ethic :) . Bees , ofcourse, can teach you about good work ethic and oneness too. And, ofcourse, if you are aware then every person you meet everyday can teach you something. Heck, I’ve even learned things from the meanest people. I’ve learned things from people that were horribly addicted to drugs. I Believe that the greatest teacher is life itself and being aware and open and understand that it is one big giant classroom we are in everyday.
    Hope everyone is well..xocarol

  • By hilly, August 17, 2010 @ 11:14 am

    “I Believe that the greatest teacher is life itself and being aware and open and understand that it is one big giant classroom we are in everyday”

    too true….and isn’t it sad when the world doesn’t learn from its collective mistakes!

  • By hilly, August 17, 2010 @ 11:15 am

    ;) Christine….we did try to field a mixed team but the scrum didn’t break up!

  • By Christine, August 17, 2010 @ 11:38 am

    Hi Carol, What a great post. You are so right about the learning. We do learn each and every day and sadly not all those things will be positive. Having said that, even when things are bad, sad, or even downright heartbreaking we still can and do learn from it. You have a lovely way of looking at things Carol.
    Best wishes,

  • By carol4spot, August 17, 2010 @ 11:49 am

    Hilly, I believe as well that ‘mistakes’ are excellent teachers. Unfortunately, if one’s not aware then it won’t teach.
    Pam, the third-eye is definitely something I am into. It really does enhance one’s existence. You’re right about the eye for an eye thing. Me, I wish we could all ‘unite’ and have strength and beauty as one.
    Christine, thanks! You see how much you’re learning and you didn’t go to college :) haha.. We all teach each other. That’s the beauty of life…xocarol

  • By BeckyB, August 17, 2010 @ 8:36 pm

    Hi Paul, Thank you for your terrific insights! My nephew who is working at a Phd at Columbia just returned from Bejing and Taiwan to study the differences in Bhuddism in both countries. I haven’t talked to him about it though.
    I am thinking that the word “detachment” might also mean “denial”?? You also mentioned responses to things that go bad: The more I experience, the more I learn about myself and the more I learn about myself, the more I realize that I do not always have the response that I think I would have when something bad happens. I think I am mostly detached from the things that are going on in my life right now, rather than taking out my emotions and examining them. There is just too much going on right now that I do not have time to meditate (meditating to music is my favorite pasttime). I have to remind myself that it’s best to find the compassion, kindness and love from non-family members, because too much togetherness with my sisters is starting to give me a nervous breakdown. I am just not feeling the compassion, kindness and love right now. Paul, I am curious why you haven’t written an autobiography yet. I think I read in an interview that you gave that you didn’t think you would be able to remember all of the details?? Uhm okay, well, I read Eric Clapton’s autobio and the guy spend most of his adult life either high or drunk but yet he managed to churn out a good read of his life.
    Well, it’s back to working on my Associates degree in medical billing and coding.
    Take care,

  • By hilly, August 18, 2010 @ 3:31 am

    On not doing harm….

    (crossing my that the link will work)

  • By Christine, August 18, 2010 @ 11:18 am

    Hi Pam M, Oh this sounds so exciting. I can’t wait for this book to come out but I know I will have to show ‘patience’ ( lol). Its like waiting for Christmas in August, I am so excited. :)

  • By Christine, August 18, 2010 @ 11:33 am

    Hi Hilly, Thank you for posting the link. Some interesting reading there.
    Take care,

  • By Sammy, August 18, 2010 @ 4:06 pm

    Just a thought after having a series of conversations with a friend of mine about karma and reincarnation. My friend does not believe in reincarnation while I do. So he has made it his sole purpose at this point to get me out of my beliefs.. He has not succeeded and I am sure he will not.

    He questioned: “If we had just two parents only 200,000 years ago or 50,000 years ago, how can we be now 6 billion souls? If all these 6 billion were reborn, then from where on earth did the 6 billion get reborn? Are these birds, worms, 4-legged creatures, insects… etc. reborn as human beings after karmic effects!”

    My reply was: “what about the other planes we do not see, hear or feel with our human sensory perceptions? What about other worlds that can exist? If energy cannot be created or destroyed but can only change forms, if we take the whole universe then everything in it should be a constant. Just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it does not exist, So… everything should have been here to begin with. The evidence should be lying right in front of us, we just have to see it without looking for it”

    well.. I am thinking about my own answer ..

    Hilly.. thanks for the link!

  • By PamT, August 19, 2010 @ 1:57 am

    Hello Paul

    Attachment, aversion and patience, eh? Aspects with which I have been a little preoccupied for a while now, so very timely observations for me indeed. Thank you. Sometimes I am able to find that awareness and at other times it most definitely seems to elude me completely. A book I’m currently reading (Teach Us To Sit Still: A Sceptic’s Search for Health and Healing by Tim Parks) touches on an interesting perspective; namely attachment to aversion.

    “See, it’s a misconception, or rather the mind’s indulgence in giving some value to meditating by saying that if one meditates, then one arrives somewhere. Gets to peace…love, God…. The problem with thinking that is that the attendant question just will not go away; Are we there yet? And if we are, when are we leaving? How long are we staying. Are you feeling anything yet?”

    I must admit that this is a trap that I all too readily fall into, perhaps as a result of having been raised in a work ethic-based environment, which more or less operated on the basis of ‘put ‘x’ amount of effort and diligence in and you should get ‘y’ amount of ‘reward’ out’. I have mixed (or perhaps confused) thoughts, because I believe this approach generally opens up more opportunities and, therefore, choices in life, but a side-effect has been a tendency to self-criticism and a conviction that if the desired end result is not achieved, then I have nobody to ‘blame’ but myself (which, I suppose, is no ‘better’ than trying to pin it on anybody but myself), because failure must mean that an insufficient amount of hard work has been put into the equation. And I find it difficult to truly take on board a different way of being in which the concept of a ‘desired end result’ has no place. But I can see that by focusing on a hoped-for or eagerly-anticipated outcome, the essence of ‘being’ becomes lost (and it also can become all too easy to feel a sense of discouragement and doubt). A teacher once told me that it is possible for one person to sit and find enlightenment almost instantaneously, whilst it might evade another who spends many hours sitting over a number of years. At the time, it struck me as being most unfair!

    It does all boil down to finding the ability to be truly present, I think. By continually harping back to the past or, equally, being preoccupied with the future, we miss the essence of the now and the present moment is all we really have. Yesterday has gone and tomorrow never comes, as they say. Of course, if ‘the now’ is hard for us to handle, for whatever reason, then the temptation is to seek refuge in either one of those places – perhaps donning another set of glasses (rose-tinted this time) in the process, because as you have said, the mind has to engage in some agile and skillful post-editing if it is to screen out the ‘hellish’ memories. I also think it’s a not uncommon human reaction to hang our future happiness on a convenient peg, along the lines of ‘I would be happy if only I had the perfect career/the perfect ‘soul mate’/the perfect figure/the perfect spiritual approach/the perfect expression of creativity/the perfect …’ whatever; substitute and delete, as appropriate. We live in cultures that encourage us to pursue our dreams, which I think can be very empowering, but we can also be seduced by the premise that if we want something ‘enough’, not only can we have it, but our future happiness will be secured as a result.

    The practice of the priests being hit with bamboo sticks is interesting. (Don’t some people pay good money for that kind of thing? ;-) Sorry, I couldn’t resist.) Sometimes when I’m performing a task for the umpteenth time or walking a path I have often taken before, I try to experience it as if for the first time with fresh eyes or to pick up on some previously unnoticed detail, because my mind always seems to naturally be more attentive to the new than to the familiar. It’s almost as if we have to play tricks on it. I wonder whether those who seek the thrill of extreme sports, sub-consciously do so not only for the adrenaline rush and the sensation of ‘being truly alive’, but also because the experiences force them to experience the moment, having no option but to focus on the here and now. And as I sit focused upon typing this, the sound of a neighbourhood house-alarm permeates through and I have a vague realisation that it has been clamouring for attention for a while now. So much for my efforts to be present!

    Finally, you make a valid point about the definition of ‘detached’, but isn’t every word an attempt by an assortment of minds to define and quantify? Because words (although not necessarily the things they label) exist only as constructs of the mind. When it comes to the changing definitions of words or the creation of new ones, I actually see it as a democratic ‘roots up’ process (and I love the vitality, fluidity and dynamism of language) – people’s use of language changes on the ground and dictionaries eventually reflect those changes, more or less accordingly. I think difficulties can arise when we wish to communicate concepts which do not historically emanate from within our own culture and the associated foreign words lose some of their subtlety and depth of meaning in the translation. I understand that this applies to Pali, amongst many other languages.

    Thanks again. I find that your words often prompt me to see things from a different perspective and, like others, I look forward to having the opportunity of reading Chrystallia and the Source of Light.


  • By Nadine, August 19, 2010 @ 10:32 am


  • By Nee, August 19, 2010 @ 11:56 am

    Nadine, I hope your daughter had a great birthday!

  • By Christine, August 21, 2010 @ 4:05 am

    Hi Paul and Pam, Wow, your Chrystallia & the Source of Light website is wonderful!!. Only trouble being I can’t wait for this book. Its fantastic to read a story that you know has been written by you Paul. Thank you for the preview I’m going back there now. :) xx

  • By Terri, August 21, 2010 @ 4:37 am

    Hello Paul, You and Pam have created an exciting website. More than expected. Now it’s even harder to wait for your book! Wishing you love, happiness, and Great success, Terri

  • By hilly, August 21, 2010 @ 4:44 am

    that looks really exciting – darn it I thought those illustrations were Paul’s until I saw the credits….and does anyone else thing that Uncle Billy looks like Dick Van Dyke?

    Back to why I logged in. I’ve just read this :
    “what’s mind? no matter. what’s matter? never mind”.
    Now there’s something to wrap your brain round on a hot summer’s day (34°C in the shade and rising here!)

  • By hilly, August 21, 2010 @ 4:46 am

    “The Wizard of Iz”….
    I have a pretty good idea who he is…tee hee!

  • By fee, August 21, 2010 @ 5:10 am

    Wow!! Just been to the new website and it looks very interesting. So, if you wish to order a copy of the book d
    What also looks very intriguing is all the associated games, etc on offer!

    Hilly!!! I don’t wish to know about 34 deg in the shade when it is freezing cold here thank you very much dear!!

  • By Rachelle, August 21, 2010 @ 5:57 am

    Hi Paul and Pam

    I agree Wow! Awesome website! Way to go! Looks great! :) It’s going straight to my favorites! *g* The work that has gone into both the book and the website is very much appreciated!
    I’m also glad to see you’ll have fan pages on FB and Twitter – that’s a great idea!
    Happy Saturday and weekend all!

  • By hilly, August 21, 2010 @ 11:08 am

    this witch iz waiting as patiently as she can (hear my foot tapping…..) don’t worry I’m a good witch I won’t turn anyone into frogs or tomatoes ;) !

  • By Christine, August 21, 2010 @ 1:22 pm

    Hi Paul, Just been back onto your new website, Uncle Billy sounds great! I bet hes a great character. Love the new photo of you by the way, just had to mention it! ;)
    All the very best with everything xx

  • By sknash, August 21, 2010 @ 3:14 pm

    Paul, been to the new site and it is just beautiful!!! Very exciting and cannot wait to read more about the characters and your story. You obviously have put a great deal of yourself into this and it shows. I am very anxious to read your novel. Your picture is great, you look happy, content and peaceful and I hope that is true. No one deserves it more than you. Anxiously awaiting all else that Chrystallia brings us!! And it is coming in my favorite time of year, Fall! Love and blessings and thanks again! Susan

  • By Christine, August 23, 2010 @ 11:47 am

    Hi Paul, As normal with me I have been re-reading your comments and mulling them over. Your comments on aversion and attachment. Its interesting to me just how we almost hide behind our anger, or sometimes sadness, as if these two emotions are more acceptable than the ‘fear’ word. I must admit that I am probably at my most angry when I can’t seem to do anything in any given situation. My best friend often tells me that there isn’t always answers sometimes you have to just let things go, which usually if I were totally honest makes me then angry at him!. In my mind there has to be an answer its just the finding it.
    I think its hard for us to sometimes accept that there aren’t always reasons. Finding a reason is very very comforting, its the constant not knowing that can drive a person to the brink.
    Then again, one can find happiness, but some where in the back of the mind you are wondering how long this is going to last? if I admit things are great will it then fall apart?.
    I am starting to understand just why you live in the now. Looking back well, I guess we all do that at times. I admit that I give myself a good talking to sometimes for that very reason. One can never tell just what the future holds so that’s the looking forward taken care of.
    As I read more of your blogs its interesting how it gradually(hey its me yknow!) sinks in. Almost like a giant jigsaw in the mind. I’m hoping that eventually I will fit all these pieces together and my goodness what a day that would be :)
    With love as always,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, August 23, 2010 @ 11:51 am

    Hi Pam M, He sure has! Can’t wait for this book. One question Pam is that new photo of Paul on the website going to be on his book by any chance? Beautiful photo :)

  • By Jesi, August 23, 2010 @ 12:42 pm


    Just discovered this and find it illuminating and confusing. My definition for the word detached is simple…disconnected. Since certain events in my life, I have chosen to live most of my life in a state of disconnection, it is a simple way to live. I find that whenever I allow myself anything else, all those things you spoke of, (fear-anger-loss), become overwhelming.

    I have touched the face of the stars, so dazzling and electric and then fallen into a whirlpool of grief when I lost him 25 years ago. Trust me, when the memory of a touch on your skin disappears into vapors over a period of years, the brain remembers the want of that.
    You are right, we all want the same thing, by whatever individual means take us there, love.

    I do allow myself to connect with my animals, though. It may sound strange but, I will spend hours combing out a horse’s tail, strand by strand. Each knot is untangled slowly with care. This is my meditation. It does not take me anywhere, but when I am done, there is a “clarity” of the hear and now. Peace is not a
    destination, it is something that settles on you when you discover that there are no answers,
    only the way we handle the questions that is important.

    Something made me think of you and I did a search. And I found you here, now. Thanks for the connection.

  • By carol4spot, August 23, 2010 @ 1:58 pm

    Jesi says,
    “Peace is not a destination, it is something that settles on you when you discover that there are no answers”

    Hi Jesi, and welcome. I don’t believe I’ve seen your name until now. I am truly sorry for your loss 25 years ago.
    Your comment is so true. I have to agree with this. Life just IS WHAT IT IS. You just can’t predict nor can you figure things out sometimes and trying to figure things out is what becomes stressful. Just know that you are a very special human being and have purpose in this life whatever it may hold in store for you. I sort of roll with the punches and boy oh boy they can certainly be some punches at times. As far as the connection to animals, this is something that has given me a tremendous amount of peace ever since I was little so I can totally relate to horse story. Thanks for your story. xocarol Hi everyone!!!

  • By Christine, August 23, 2010 @ 3:50 pm

    Hi Pam M, Oh that sounds exciting. Hey its nearly 1am here; how are we meant to sleep with all this excitement I feel like a child at Christmas lol.
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, August 23, 2010 @ 11:05 pm

    as long as there is a paper version of the book that I can hold I’m happy

  • By hilly, August 23, 2010 @ 11:08 pm

    PS Jesi….coming back to the original subject here…

    “when the memory of a touch on your skin disappears into vapors over a period of years, the brain remembers the want of that.
    You are right, we all want the same thing, by whatever individual means take us there, love.”

    that is so beautifully put that there is nothing to add.

  • By Frances, August 24, 2010 @ 3:18 am

    Hi Jesi
    was reading your post and was reminded that “we are all one”. Watched a program the other night about a man looking into “Man’s connection with the horse” and how,from the beginning of time the partnership grew, as with all relationships it begins with respect and understanding. It was fascinating as it showed him in a rehab facility in the US that showed how people with problems from low self-esteem to drug and alcohol problems learned to re-connect with themselves through making friends and understanding the horses that they met there. Fascinating stuff, and as a viewer it did my soul the power of good too!. Glad to hear that similar connections have helped you and Welcome.

    take Care.

  • By Rachelle, August 24, 2010 @ 8:10 am

    Pam – Thanks so much for the updates! I’m happy to hear there will be a YouTube video and please keep us posted on it. I’ll favorite forsure!! :)

    Welcome Jessi!

    Rach :)

  • By Nadine, August 24, 2010 @ 9:11 am

    Je viens de Parcourir le site ” Chrystallia ” magnifique ! quelle bonne idée ! je ne lirai certainement jamais vos livres Paul j’en suis désolée j’aurai tant voulu découvrir ” Paul Michael Glaser l’ Ecrivain ”
    Vous avez beaucoup de Dons Paul je ne sais pas si vous avez des défauts mais je peux vous dire que depuis que je vous ” connais ” Virtuellement je ne vous trouve que des qualités !
    La vie est parfois injuste vous le savez mieux que moi j’ai découvert grace à vous que nos problèmes en font parties il faut vivre avec eux ! Je suis très défaitiste je baisse facilement les bras je sais que je dois affronter la maladie de mon papa ! je sais que je dois m’attendre au pire ! que d’autres personnes souffrent plus que moi ! tout celà je le sais ! vous et toutes mes amies sur ce blog me soutiennent , m’encouragent !je vous en remercie encore toutes et tous ! je ne dois pas m’apitoyer sur mon sort !
    La vie est la plus belle chose qui nous est donnée nous devons en profiter ! La vie est merveilleuse lorsque j’entend les oiseaux chanter les fleurs s’épanouir les feuilles des arbres frémir quand le vent les caresse , le soleil briller , des enfants crier et rire en jouant ! je me dis que nous avons de la chance de connaitre tout celà !
    Je ne viens pas souvent sur ce blog pour poster des commentaires beaucoup d’entre vous ne connaissent pas le Français ” au moins nous avons un point commun ” mais je reconnais que je suis en monorité en ce qui concerne votre langue ! dur pour moi !
    Bien que nous n’ayons pas de réponses personnelles de votre part Paul ce qui est normal vous ne pouvez pas répondre à tout le monde , je tenais à vous dire que magré que je ne sois plus une ” petite fille Fan de son idole ” j’en ai passé l’âge , comme toutes les filles ici ! je suis fiére de pouvoir discuter avec vous , de pouvoir connaitre vos ” pensées ” d’en savoir un peu plus sur vous ! c’est une sorte de conversation entre AMIS !
    Merci pour celà Paul vous ne pouvez pas le savoir mais vous nous aidez beaucoup !

  • By hilly, August 24, 2010 @ 10:36 am

    translation of Nadine’s post will be posted as soon as I have a moment.

  • By hilly, August 24, 2010 @ 12:35 pm

    here is Nadine’s post in English…her thoughts, her sentiments and her words

    I’ve just taken a look at the ‘Chrystallia’ site; magnificent! What a great idea! I’m unlikely to ever read your books, Paul, and that’s a shame because I would have loved to discover the writer Paul Michael Glaser. You have many talents Pau, I don’t know if you have faults but I can tell you that since I have ‘known’ you I have only seen your qualities.
    Life in an unfair journey and you know that better than I do, thanks to you I have learned that our problems are part of it and we have to live with them. I am too defeatist and I give up too easily; I know that I should face up to my father’s illness; I know that I must expect the worst, that others suffer more than I do; I know all that! You and all my friends here on his blog give me support and encouragement! I thank you all! I shouldn’t feel sorry for myself.
    Life is the best thing we have ad we should make the most of it! Life is wonderful when I hear the birds singing, see flowers bloom, see the leaves on the trees in the wind, see the sun shine, hear children shouting and laughing when they play! I tell myself that we are lucky to have all that.
    I don’t come to this blog and comment very often and many of you don’t understand French, but we all have one thing in common; and I know that I am in a minority when it comes to your language; that is hard for me.
    Although you don’t reply to us personally, Paul (and that is normal because you can’t answer everyone) I want to tell you that I’m not just a little ‘fangirl’ with her idol; I’m past the age for that (like many of us). I am proud to be able to discuss things with you, to get to know your thoughts and to know a bit more about you. It’s like a conversation with friends.
    Thank you for that Paul, you don’t know it but you are a great help to me.

  • By carol4spot, August 24, 2010 @ 3:43 pm

    Hi Frances, I think I saw that same show! That was good. I think ‘knowing’ we are all one is very comforting. Being connected to eachother and with nature is extremely comforting. I think we can learn alot from animals. I don’t look down upon anything or anyone. I’ve known people ‘at the top’ and I’ve known people ‘at the bottom’ and in my opinion, my truth, we are all equal and all looking for the same thing and going to the same place..even the animals! Sometimes I think animals know more than us! xocarol

  • By Frances, August 25, 2010 @ 1:55 am

    “in my opinion, my truth, we are all equal and all looking for the same thing and going to the same place, even the animals! Sometimes I think animals know more than us! xocarol”

    Couldn’t agree more Carol

    Take Care.

  • By hilly, August 25, 2010 @ 3:43 am

    they certainly do. anyone who has ridden a horse knows how quickly they sense if the rider is confident or not.
    My cat is far wiser than some humans I know (and better company than some others LOL). Animals have a sixth sense that so few of us know how to use any more (although we all have it waiting to be exploited) and they use it emotionally far more than many people believe (or are prepared to believe)There are some (predominantly Catholic) countries it is still maintained that animals do not have souls – but the Catholic Church was not willing to accept that women have souls until well into our modern era. (Although some argue that this is a myth it isn’t – it took Aquinas to get the idea that the possibility that women were as human as men was valid!. It is a myth designed by the ‘mythters’ to try to justify their misogyny (tee hee!) and it continued to be ther ‘reasoning’ (if any) behind the RC shurch’s stand against a woman’s right to control her fertility….
    Oops sorry – ranting again…but some truths need to be repeated. Old men in dresses have no right to tell young women in jeans what to do with their bodies and even less right to lie about the efficacity of a condom in the fight against HIV.

  • By Christine, August 25, 2010 @ 12:34 pm

    Hi Carol, What a lovely way you have of looking at life. On the subject of animals they love unconditionally don’t they?. I have two cats, they follow me around my house like puppies!! I’m sure they think they are dogs lol. They come when they are called, and can ‘sense’ when things aren’t right. They give so much love, and all that they ask in return is that you care and look after them. Not much to ask is it?. Sorry I know this is way off topic!! ;) xx

  • By carol4spot, August 25, 2010 @ 1:39 pm

    Christine, I have to disagree about the comment about being off topic..Animals are very theraputic to many. I can totally meditate (that’s not off topic :) ) while petting an animal or brushing an animal or even ‘communicating’ with an animal. Hilly was right in saying they have a sixth sense ( that’s not off topic either :) ). So, in my opinion, I can learn from animals in many ways. First off, they live in the ‘now’ always. That’s not off topic! They show you unconditional love once the respect is developed and the last time I looked ‘love’ is definitely ON topic here! Hey, the list goes on..Like I said, I think sometimes that animals know more than us…Hi everyone! xocarol

  • By Christine, August 25, 2010 @ 1:46 pm

    Hi Carol, Hey no offence meant here :) I get a lot of pleasure from my two cats antics too. Especially when I have just decorated and they scratch the new wallpaper, now if that’s not unconditional love towards them I don’t know what is lol. :)

  • By hilly, August 25, 2010 @ 10:35 pm

    Pets have a relaxing and therapeutic effect for many people; there have been plenty of studies about the benefits of allowing people in retirement homes to have their pets with them.

    I think Mishka has been reading ‘Zen and the art of Moggy Maintenance’! In his old age (he’s about 14) he has suddenly calmed down; instead of fighting any cat that wanders into the garden he now totally ignores them – much to the confusion of the young cat from next door (KaWaa) who is probably his great great great nephew 3 times removed. KaWaa comes to play and wanders up to Mishka and goes nose to nose, or pounces his tail or whatever. And Mishka just walks on by or sits staring in the other direction!

  • By Nadine, August 27, 2010 @ 3:03 am

    Les vacances sont terminées ! La vie quotidienne va reprendre son cours… l’Eté va nous quitter sur la pointe des pieds , l’autome va nous montrer le bout de son nez , douce saison que l’automne , une saison que j’aime pour ses couleurs magnifiques ! l’image des feuilles qui tombent des arbres est si triste à nos yeux mais si douce à nos coeur ! la vie est un eternel recommencement pour tout ce qui vit sur notre terre .
    Je vous souhaite bon courage pour la reprise à votre travail !
    J’en profite pour souhaiter à Monsieur David Soul un ” Happy birthday ”
    Gros bisous à vous toutes et tous!!!!!

  • By Jesi, August 27, 2010 @ 8:01 am


    If you track these threads, then you may know that I am new here. And to all who have welcomed me, thank you…this sounds like a great place to visit.

    I printed all your posts, (hope this is ok to do)so that I could take them down to the pastures, when I turn the horses out. I usually will just sit and watch them enjoying being what they are…doing what they love to do…(run, roll, graze). But the past two evenings I took your
    thoughts with me to do a little “grazing” myself.

    I know you won’t answer personally, and forgive me if I am wrong or being intrusive, but I need to at least ask -

    Something’s tugging at my heart and my gut…
    Paul, what is it you’re looking for?

    Wishing you well,

  • By hilly, August 27, 2010 @ 2:03 pm

    Something’s tugging at my heart and my gut…
    (—-), what is it you’re looking for?

    that is a question I think we all ask ourselves and I wonder whether any of us really knows the ultimate answer…”seek and ye shall find”…but what? where? how? and, maybe, who?
    And if we find it will we be satisfied or continue to seek not knowing that we are ‘there’.
    My journey takes me to places I never imagined; to places I wish I had never gone; and to places I didn’t want to leave. I hope it will take me to new a wonderful places – and if I have to go there via other less happy ones so be it.
    this is how I see this big journey – this adventure, this ride’ that is life.
    A little voice in my head says ‘and when I find ‘it’ I may not be alive (in this life) to enjoy it….and then will I start the search again in a new life? Am I already where I sought to be in a former life?
    The circles in my mind…

  • By Christine, August 27, 2010 @ 2:52 pm

    Hi Hilly, You know its funny sometimes how I log on here only to find that what I have been talking about with friends is also on topic here. It really is a small world sometimes isn’t it?.
    Are we all more or less on a search for whatever we assume will make us happy?. I was talking to a friend of mine about dreams, goals, you know the kind of things we would like but maybe will never happen? and it was interesting how most of us wish for things constantly. We could spend our whole lives chasing the dream and never getting there. Or maybe….. one day if you hope, and wish enough huh?. I asked my friend if he thought that sometimes we need that illusion of happiness just to get us through the bad days. Or do we go through life searching for the impossible?. My friends answer was to hold onto your dreams, until you know for sure it can’t happen.
    Is the getting ‘there’ the best part of the dream? once you are ‘there’ so to speak is it all you thought it would be? or as humans do we then look for something else?. Is it destructive to want something/someone?. I guess it depends; maybe wanting/needing could cause pain, ironically causing the complete opposite to that desired happiness. Is ‘happiness’ or ‘love’ something to be arrived at?, so you wake up one day and it all falls into place?. Isn’t it curious how we all keep on searching?
    Best wishes,

  • By hilly, August 27, 2010 @ 3:21 pm

    I have a friend staying here at the moment; she is here with her daughter who loves playing guessing games. Last night we ended up singing songs from movies…”When you wish upon a star” seemed to blend in my head with “Somewhere over the Rainbow”…funny how the idea of the attainable unattainable runs through so many of those classics.

  • By valerie, August 29, 2010 @ 2:35 am

    Hi Paul,
    It’s great to read you again. You missed us.
    Thanks for your wish.
    You have a big heart and you are very generous. I am delighted that you finished the writing of your book. I hope I can find it in France. May be with a dedicace (lol)and I look forward to discovering it.
    Thanks a lot for this blog Paul, here many of us share what you write.
    Take care of you Paul.
    see you soon. Kisses from France

  • By eggnoggon, August 30, 2010 @ 4:36 pm

    And for the briefest of moments I was blue, not the feeling but rather the colour!?! And then when I thought about it, it was gone.

  • By Christine, August 31, 2010 @ 12:40 pm

    Hi Paul, On the subject of remembering, when I was young my parents had a house about 30 miles from where I now live. For weeks now I have dreamed about this house and all the memories it held good/bad etc. So I decided to go back to the area just to see the house, the library that was directly opposite our house, to see if it would make me feel any better.
    Well 34 years has taken its toll on this once beautiful area. Most of the stores were boarded up, our old house now has paint falling off it, and I didn’t run into one person I knew all those years ago. I’m not exactly sure just what it was I was looking for, maybe just to feel some of the feelings I felt when my mother was still here, but the whole visit fell flat.
    My point is, my memories are far more beautiful than the reality. Going back just proved that everything changes constantly, and about the only thing that will remain unchanged, will be those memories. Funny though how we try to ‘skip’ the bad and hold on tight to the good eh?.
    With love as always,
    Christine xx

  • By hilly, August 31, 2010 @ 12:48 pm

    Christine, I learnt a long time ago not to go back to houses I used to live in!

  • By hilly, August 31, 2010 @ 12:52 pm

    Paul, I wonder if you have read Jill Bolte Taylor’s book “My Stroke of Insight”?
    I was watching a documentary last night about spirituality and how the mind approaches it and ‘discovered’ her theories. There was also a lot about research being done in a Paris hospital involving IRM imaging of a Buddhist monk’s brain while he was meditating. It was amazing how he seemed to “switch off” part of his brain’s activity to allow his mind to meditate. Maybe that is true detachment?

  • By Christine, September 1, 2010 @ 9:00 am

    Hi Pam M, Yes I was just thinking the same thing!!. Where is everyone lately?. Maybe most people are waiting for our blog host to write something new? :)
    With love as always,
    Christine. xx

  • By Terri, September 1, 2010 @ 9:04 am

    Hello Paul, Just sitting and enjoying a very wonderful summer. They are calling this the summer that won’t end (in this area) and that’s fine with me. It’s 90 degrees+ this week.LOVE it. Anyway, it gives me time to think about family, friends etc. I went back to the Chrystallia site and my thoughts went to the realization of how wonderful it is when you have a dream come true. I’m so very happy for you. Thank you for sharing your imagination and creativity. Nice thoughts for me on this great summer day. Wishing you love and happiness, Terri

  • By hilly, September 1, 2010 @ 11:01 am

    It is often quiet at this time of the year; most of Europe is coming to the end of the summer holiday season (The Brits had a public holiday on Monday; the French are going back to work/getting the kids ready for the new school year that officially starts tomorrow etc)
    Don’t know about others but I have had a very busy time at work (and with a guest here for a week – a busy time without work too!)
    So I suppose that explains the relative lull here….and of course a little bated breath waiting for the book!

  • By hilly, September 1, 2010 @ 11:02 am

    PS: Terri it’s hot here too and it looks like the summer is going to go Indian on us!
    My garden would like a little rain though.

  • By Jesi, September 1, 2010 @ 12:40 pm

    To all:

    Just a thought – as I seem to read a repeating issue on the depth of our host’s themes. I judge writing competitions along with being my writers group’s favorite (?) editor/critique partner. May I suggest the following system:

    The first read through of anything should be at face value – how you would normally read anything.

    Wait at least an hour, then read the content with emphasis on the writer’s input of punctuation. Get a feel of the rhythm and flow of the writer…s sense of the “writer’s voice”.

    I would then suggest to wait a day, then go back to the text and take a cleansing breath. Start reading, but this time, read aloud as if you were reading a page from YOUR OWN journal to a friend.

    This has helped many of my writer friends get a clearer picture of even their own works. I would like some feedback if this helps any of you.

    I have read through many of the posts and it appears I have some cathing up to do. I hope all of you are well. Will check in when I have a bit more time.

  • By Jesi, September 1, 2010 @ 12:45 pm

    Oops, too late to edit my own spelling. Sorry.

  • By Terri, September 1, 2010 @ 4:22 pm

    Hilly, we could use rain here too but a good rain usually turns the next day too cool. Terri

  • By Rachelle, September 1, 2010 @ 5:31 pm

    Hi Pam,
    Thanks so much for keeping us posted on “Chrystallia”. I’m looking forward to reading and buying a couple more as Christmas gifts.*g*
    I’ve been busy with work and back to school shopping.
    Looking forward to the long weekend coming up!!

  • By Christine, September 2, 2010 @ 3:46 am

    Hi Paul, I re-read your comments a lot. Depending on whatever is going through my head at the time seems to either make it harder or easier to take it in.
    Is learning to stay in the here and now, helpful to not overthinking?. I’m typing here now and have to say being on this blog I am totally focused on it. Give me a few minutes and so many thoughts will be rushing through my head that its hardly surprising we end up drained.
    So, for today I am at least trying to be totally in the now. Will I feel better for it? who knows but my mind needs a rest I think!. You see even thinking of staying in the now I am ahead of myself wondering if it will help? Goodness me Paul I have so much to learn!!. Hope all is well with you, take care.
    With love as always,
    Christine. xx :)

  • By hilly, September 2, 2010 @ 10:48 am

    Jesi – I usually check things through when I have the time…but there is (to mangle Shakespeare yet again) many a slip twixt brain and screen!

  • By Frances, September 3, 2010 @ 2:50 am

    Hi Folks,
    I have spent the last couple of weeks doing a bit of overdue “Spring Cleaning” (told you it was overdue!). I have lived in this house, coming up to 10 yrs in December, and finally had to bite the bullet and clear out the rubbish I have gathered over the years. If you are anything like me it’s something I was dreading, but although it was slow going to begin with, I re-discovered a lot of photographs and letters that were taken and written over the years that I had completely forgotten about, and by discovering them it unleashed tons of memories that made me laugh out loud and some made a tear come to my eye. It was a job I was dreading but I have to say that it made me think that life goes by so quick, and as well intentioned as we are, and how hard we all try to stay “in the moment” we forget so much. I ended up filling seven albums and making a promise that they will be looked at and memories remembered at least ONCE a year. It was a task that I was dreading as I said, but I have to say that I ended up thinking a lot about what my life was and is and realised that there is so much that we let slip through our fingers, and only for my photographs memories would be lost for ever. It just enforces the thought that we all should live in the moment.

    Take Care.

  • By Christine, September 3, 2010 @ 3:22 am

    Hi Frances, You know the saying ‘great minds think alike?’. I too have been sorting out recently, mainly because I have been decorating. I like finding old letters, photo’s too it can trigger off some wonderful memories. I have to say though I tend to keep old birthday/Christmas cards and boy this sounds sad but even the envelopes the letters came in! Sentimental value is a great thing in my opinion. Staying in the now? I try but the mind does tend to wander just a bit eh? Your post was great, well have to go and do yet more painting……
    Take care,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, September 3, 2010 @ 3:36 pm

    Hi Paul, Missing your thoughts on here. Please come back soon. :) xx

  • By carol4spot, September 3, 2010 @ 4:11 pm

    PMG says,” Our ability to experience the purest feeling of love gives us our understanding of faith…(that this ‘place,’ this “one-ness exists), and that remembered feeling give us patience and hope.”

    I just love this comment. Seriously, feeling this even for one second demonstrates a ‘perfect’ sense of being. I don’t understand totally how I achieve this feeling. It happens alot when running. On my early morning run this morning, I happened across a momma deer and her two fawns. Very cute, I might add. The mother
    was startled by me and ran like a bat out of hell into the woods on one side of the
    street while the two babies jumped into the other side of the street. Now, part of
    my mission on my runs is to patrol the streets and keep wildlife safe from cars. So, I see this SUV coming down the hill, I know the babies want to cross over the street to mommy’s side and I go into complete LOVE, PROTECTION mode,’oneness’ mode, which I could tell the woman could see, and ever so calmly warned this woman who
    completely heeded my signs and when I turned around to watch her go by the spot in
    question she was ever so cautious and saw the babies coming out to the road to cross and she stopped for them..She was in complete love and compassion mode too!!! It was just a wonderful experience. Being connected to nature. Loving every bit of life. Treating all life equally. Sending out good vibes to other people to join in the ‘oneness’. Spreading the love to all life. Gosh, it sure does feel good. I know
    I focus alot on animals but, I love humans just the same, believe me. It’s just that as some of you may know, animals and nature were the most healing experience for me as a child and it never left me. I appreciate what connecting myself to nature did for my all around well-being and I want to protect all the little
    creatures of the world. Hi everyone…xocarol
    Hi Frances, good to see you back. It must have been tough for you to plow through all those memories. You are totally right in that we need to live in the present and feeling connected to everything follows that. They go hand in hand..When you live in the now you understand We are all one and it gives me warm fuzzies to believe that. xocarol

  • By hilly, September 4, 2010 @ 8:23 am

    Not so much clearing things out but for some of us the time is approaching when we take stock of the past year and reflect on our place int eh world.

  • By Nadine, September 4, 2010 @ 10:56 am

    Ma petite Patricia que j’ai connu grace ” AU CERCLE DES AMIS DE PAUL ” s’est mariée aujourd’hui je suis très très heureuse pour elle enfin elle a trouvé le bonheur!!!


  • By hilly, September 4, 2010 @ 11:03 am

    and that is great news…Patricia (some of you know her through the Circle of Friends) got married today. I have met her (with Nadine) and she is a wonderful young woman. Big hugs to you Patricia ma puce!

  • By fee, September 4, 2010 @ 10:54 pm

    That is fantastic news Hilly and Nadine. Patricia has gone through so much in her life and been so courageous, that it is lovely to hear that she has found happiness. Big hugs from me also.

  • By hilly, September 5, 2010 @ 12:08 am

    I know that people who don’t know Patricia will think we have gone right off topic – but posting her news here is the best way for us to get it to some others who know her.
    Patricia has been through a lot of tough times in her (still) young life and her story is an example of how hope and being positive prevail.

  • By carol4spot, September 5, 2010 @ 10:08 am

    I don’t know Patricia but ofcourse we are all ‘one’ and I totally wish her well and congrats to her!!! xxoocarol Love Rules!!!

  • By Frances, September 6, 2010 @ 2:16 am

    Hi All
    I might not know her but all best wishes to Patricia, sounds like she’s a lovely person, Congratulations to you and your new hubby!!

    Hi Christine,
    Yes great minds think alike, I can be a bit on the sentimental side too when it comes to cards,but have turned over a new leaf and have to be VERY strict on the ones I have to keep!!, but have to say that I feel much better now that I have got rid of 10 years of junk, it really clears the mind and I am so pleased that I finally managed to do it! it really does lighten your mood!!

    Hi Carol
    have lovely pictures in my mind of you looking after the animals in the area were you live,
    spinning about on your bike, like a mobile Dr Doolittle, keep up the good work!

    Take Care.

  • By Frances, September 6, 2010 @ 2:28 am

    Hi Carol.
    Just re-read your post and realised that you were running and not cycling!!(sorry) but love your posts, so as I said keep up the good work!

    Take Care.

  • By Christine, September 6, 2010 @ 1:08 pm

    Hi everyone, We talk a lot on here about staying in the now. I tend to agree that living for the moment is a good thing; a positive approach to this life of ours, yet I don’t know about anyone else but sometimes its so hard to do. Or maybe it isn’t, maybe the problem is I haven’t fully learned to do it.
    As I was saying to Frances on here I have been sorting out recently due to decorating.
    I still have my late son’s backpack. When he died he was at college doing a plumbing course. In this backpack is his still brand new plumbing book which I can remember him being shocked at just how much this book actually cost, certainly more than a night out to him lol. Anyway there is this book his notebook and his pen still sitting in my house almost as if he was about to come in and sling it over his shoulder again.
    Separate these items they seem trivial, but together they are a part of Matthew, and I just can’t bring myself to throw these out.
    My question is, am I wrong here? am I holding onto the past?. Personally, I think throwing out the things will cause more pain than keeping them.
    I guess the past is gone, and I truly do try to be in the now, but every once in a while isn’t it nice just to look back?. Sometimes I think I need my memories to carry on forward. Remembering doesn’t fill us with the love we miss, but its a pretty close second, just in my opinion.
    Take care,

  • By carol4spot, September 6, 2010 @ 3:31 pm

    Hi Christine, I am certainly no expert on living in the now and I can only imagine
    your grief and how that must never go away. Jeez, I had no idea you had such a bad
    time of it. How can anyone tell you how to live in the now? All I can say is, perhaps your son would have wanted you to be happy and live in the now if you would have asked him. So, maybe for him, his memory, you could bring that into the present and keep his memory alive in the now. Like I believe, my opinion, is that all the bad things that happened are never forgotten, they are remembered in the ‘now’ as reminders of how I became who I am ‘now’. My dalmation’s memory is with me in the now always. I remember all the beautiful times with her. All the kisses she gave me. I can still feel her wet cold nose on my face. The thought of her makes me happy.I am grateful for the 14 years she blessed me with her being. I was lucky to have been the one who took care of her. To me, her memory keeps her alive in the ‘now’. She’ll always be with me. Love never dies. It is eternal.

    Frances, haha, now I’m envisioning myself as a Dr. Doolittle patrolling my 6 mile route!! It’s funny that I often have referred to myself as that many times!! Same wavelength! I won’t get into my early morning worm recovery! Hey, they seem to wander into the road while it’s still dewey and then they can’t make it back to the
    dirt in time before they dry up..once I save one, I have to save the rest! I have
    no compassion is with me always…xocarol Hi everyone!!!

  • By hilly, September 7, 2010 @ 3:38 am

    Christine how terrible that must have been for you to lose Matthew; those things that are left behind can be such painful reminders but at the same time they are (literally) something to hold on to to keep the good memories alive.

  • By hilly, September 7, 2010 @ 3:39 am

    PS Shana Tova in advance to those of you who share this holiday.
    שנה טובה ומבורכת

  • By Christine, September 7, 2010 @ 2:56 pm

    Hi Carol, Thank you for your kind words. I agree with you that love is eternal, we never forget our loved ones, and that in itself is a blessing. I don’t think the pain of losing Matthew will ever go, its probably going to be there for the rest of my life, but finding ways to cope is about the best option. Your dalmation sounded lovely by the way. I’m pleased you have such lovely memories.
    Take care,

    Hi Hilly, It can be a catch 22 sometimes. The things that remind us also upset us, but we need our memories to function. Can you imagine waking up and all memory had gone? Our lives would never be the same again.
    Take care,

  • By Nadine, September 8, 2010 @ 7:27 am

    Il n’est pas juste de perdre son enfant ! Il est logique que nous les parents partions avant eux ! Je ne sais pas ce que c’est de perdre un enfant , et j’espère ne jamais le connaitre ! Je donnerai ma vie pour les miens , c’est le plus beau cadeau que la vie ai pu me donner je suis donc prête à la sacrifir pour ces deux êtres merveilleux que j’aime plus que tout au monde !
    Ton chagrin est immense Christine ! Comme je te comprend je ne me permettrai pas de te donner des conseils , j’en suis même incapable ! ils est vrai que de là où il est ton fils te regarde et veille sur toi c’est un rôle que tu avais de son vivant , il en a prit le relais ! il sait que lorsque le moment viendra tu le rejoindras , il est toujours près de toi !
    Pour répondre à ta Question : Tu ne dois pas oublier le passé , le passé est une partie de notre vie plein de joie ou de chagrin ! le passé que tu as vécu avec Matthieu ne peut être que de merveilleux moments que vous avez vécu ensemble ! je ne crois pas que l’on puisse oublier ! Garde les souvenirs dans sa chambre celà ne peut te faire que du bien ne t’en sépare pas ton enfant est dans ta mémoire ces objets eux sont là où ils étaient avant son ” départ ” !
    Tu es dans mes pensées Christine ! Je t’embrasse très fort!!!!

  • By valerie, September 8, 2010 @ 10:44 am

    Take care of you christine.
    je vous embrasse très fort

  • By valerie, September 8, 2010 @ 10:48 am

    Please come back soon.
    It is always a pleasure to read you

  • By hilly, September 8, 2010 @ 11:11 am

    Nadine’s post:

    Losing a child isn’t fair. It is logical that the parents go first. I don’t know what it is like to lose a child and I hope I never have to. I’d give my life for my children, they are the best gift life has given me, I am ready to sacrifice my life for the two wonderful people that I love more than anything else in the world.
    Christine, yours is a great tragedy. I understand and so I wouldn’t dare to give you advice, I’m not even capable of doing so. It is true that your son is watching over you from where he is. It is the role you had when he was alive, now he has taken over. He knows that when the time comes you will join him, he is always close to you
    To answer your question: You should not forget the past; the past is a part of our new life full of joy and sorrow. Your past with Matthew can only be wonderful moments that you shared; I don’t think you can forget that. Keeping the mementoes in his room can only be a good thing and allows you to
    Keep him in your memory; those things are where they were before he left you.
    I’m thinking of you Christine. All my love.

  • By Christine, September 8, 2010 @ 12:31 pm

    Hi Valerie, Thank you, hope all is well with you.

    Hi Hilly, Thank you my friend for translating Nadine’s post. I have just spent the last hour trying to string a few sentences together in French using an on line translating page!. Oh my goodness none of it seemed to make sense so I would be very grateful if you could pass on my thanks to Nadine.

    Hi Nadine, Merci. xx

    Thank you to all of you who gave advice. I first came onto this blog because Paul inspired me. His positive attitude was what stood out.
    He was/is if you like my example of how to get it right. I do believe it is a great idea to live in the ‘now’ if you can. So thank you for your support, Matthew’s things are staying just where they have always been. Its not that I’m living in the past, rather hes still in the now, because he never left my heart. :)
    Take care,
    With love as always,
    Christine. xx

  • By Terri, September 8, 2010 @ 1:30 pm

    Hi Christine, I’m always moved when you “speak” of Matthew. Even if we don’t live through this as a parent we relate. A young couple who’s parents are good friends of mine just lost their beautiful little girl right before her fifth birthday in July. She was born with a rare illness. They didn’t even have any research going on anywhere to help or give hope. We are not alone even when suffering a tragedy. My heart hurts for them all. I understand very little French but I could tell Nadine was being encouraging or understanding. That was so sweet. Take care, Terri

  • By Christine, September 8, 2010 @ 2:07 pm

    Hi Terri, I’m so sorry for the young couple’s loss. Life seems so unfair at times it makes it hard to figure out, there is so much heartbreak in the world. I’m sure it must be tough on you too as friends try to be supportive while hurting too.

    As for my mentioning Matthew,
    To be honest, I didn’t know if it was acceptable to talk about him even if on topic, but felt I needed some advice. I am lucky I have loyal friends but, I have never been able to talk about Matthew to them, apart from the odd conversation as it is hard for them, to talk about him. They either don’t know what to say or still almost 4 years on are afraid it will upset me. So, hes rarely mentioned which ironically upsets me more. Death is a subject that is avoided especially if someone finds it was a young person. We are not taught to deal with death, just to avoid the subject altogether. Maybe its a ‘fear’ too that others will think we can’t cope and need to talk, it can be seen as a weakness, but sometimes on here the topic will kind of make it ‘acceptable’ to talk about Matthew.
    My apologises if this has gone off topic a touch, no offence meant, just me trying to sort my thoughts out!!. Thank you Terri for your kind words.
    Take care,
    Christine. xx

  • By carol4spot, September 8, 2010 @ 2:37 pm

    Hi Christine, I’m still trying to figure out what is considered off-topic. I rarely see this site going off-topic. Death, life, love, nature, oneness, connection,fears, detachment,etc. This is a broad base to work with. I kind of wish there was more ‘filler’ stuff because it keeps the conversaton moving into many directions and opens things up for more conversation. I see lots of blogs out there that have lots of good banter going on with those who comment. I think replying to comments is good. It keeps the flow. I come on the blog and hope that there’s new posts regardless of how ‘on-topic’ they are. Based on the discussions of PMG I find it hard to believe we’ve strayed off-topic. He leaves it WIDE open in my opinion. Ofcourse we’re not gonna start chatting it up on what the Yankees are doing, or the fact that Starsky got our hormones engaged prematurely! Ha! That’s off topic for sure. But, really, I don’t think talking about your grief and your son as being off-topic. It totally fits into the theme here in trying to ‘detach’ or find peace and light and love…I hope I don’t get flack for this post! We are adults here…xocarol Hi everyone!!

  • By Christine, September 8, 2010 @ 2:52 pm

    Hi Carol, Thank you, you have helped me not worry so much!.
    I usually try to keep on topic, as in somehow trying to bring in Paul’s comments and how they fit into our lives. I don’t always manage it though lol.
    Take care,

  • By Christine, September 8, 2010 @ 2:56 pm

    Oh and by the way, Starsky? if he were real I’d have loved that guy!! my goodness, ;) xx

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, September 8, 2010 @ 8:49 pm

    Querido Paul : Usted tiene una riqueza espiritual muy hermosa ,me encanta como escribe sus conocimientos ,sentimientos ,su amor , respeto ,tolerancia ,su alma ,es un conjunto de sentimientos y sensaciones ,usted muestra en su exterior lo que tiene dentro suyo ,tiene amor, muestra amor ,creo que esto es la base de todo” El amor” .si no tenemos amor no se puede hacer absolutamente nada ,porque el amor es benigno .Se que es un camino muy difícil de transitar ,pero es el mejor ,si queremos ser mejores seres tenemos que aprender a amar ,lo que somos , y amar al prójimo ,donde todos tendríamos respeto ,amarnos , no habría juicio ,juzgar a los otros ,estaríamos en armonía todos ,parece una quimera ,pero no imposible de realizar, es poner un poco de voluntad ,desechar lo malo ,lo que nos hace daño a nuestro corazón a nuestra alma ,desechar el odio , el rencor ,la violencia ,hay tantas cosas que nos hace mal y ese mal lo transmitimos a otras personas se forma un circulo sin fin ,si uno grita el otro grita ,pero quepasaría si uno sonríe a otra persona ? algunos utilizan el juicio .¡¡ este debe estar loco ¡¡¡ otros nos dan una sonrisa .si decimos cosas bonitas pasa exactamente lo mismo .ser amable , tolerante ,respetuoso ,hay tantas cosas buenas dentro de nuestro interior que muchas veces no utilizamos ,por los tiempos que vivimos ,donde son tiempos dificiles en este mundo ,siempre ocupados ,apurados ,y no paramos y miramos a nuestro alrededor ,tenemos que mirar nuestro interior que es lo que queremos para nosotros mismos ,¿y que queremos para nosotros .todo lo bueno ,lo mejor ? y eso es lo que tenemos que dar ,si ,dar ,para recibir ,si doy cariño recibiré cariño .es un ida y vuelta ,pero hay que dar sin pensar que vamos a recibir algo a cambio ,realizarlo de corazón ,pensar ,corazón mmmmmmmm yo me muevo atraves de mi corazón de mis sentimientos ,ya se ,puede usted decir ,si pero ,nuestra mente nos lleva a realizar todas esas cosas o sentimientos ,ya me estoy atascando con todo esto .mente ,corazón .es todo un conjunto somos seres únicos ,irrepetibles .donde tenemos un cuerpo un alma un espíritu .cuanto podemos hacer y no lo realizamos .trato en mi vida hacer lo mejor con mis equivocaciones con mis logros ,con todo lo que implica vivir ,de dar gracias todos los días por un día mas ,para poder aprender y transmitir mis sentimientos .aprender de la vida misma, todo nuestro pasaje en esta vida es un aprendizaje cada día se aprende algo nuevo o diferente .Solo se trata de vivir .vivir la vida -Gracias señor Glaser Dios lo bendiga grandemente (ya estoy esperando otra reflexion suya )
    ♥♥♥ ♫♫♫ ♥♥♥ Hilda Liporace

  • By hilly, September 9, 2010 @ 8:56 am

    Carol – 3 cheers for you! I agree – even when we seem to go wandering off on a sidetrack on these blogs we are actually exploring new paths that lead from the original post. (and if that bit of meandering made sense I’m more awake than I thought I was!)
    I haven’t had to deal with a loss like Christine’s but I do know someone who has and she spends every day of her life wondering what she could have done to stop it happening. She spent every day… because after years of feeling guilty and questioning herself she finally accepted that her daughter had made her own decision and that no-one could have stopped her. She followed her own path…and the day my friend came to accept that she was able to follow her path to mourning and grieving and finally moving forward…but her daughter’s things are still present in the house and always will be.
    I read a wonderful piece today – it was written by the actress Marianne Leone (who was in The Sopranos). Her son died some time ago and she wrote about mourning. She had read somewhere that some (IMO totally idiot and unfeeling)psychology ‘expert’ on grief had decided that 2 weeks is all you need! She. I recommend it – it was in the International Herald Tribune today Thursday 9 September so it is probably available online somewhere.
    Soem religions have set ‘rituals’ for mourning – Judaism has ‘Shiva’ – these give a framework for the ‘public’ grief; and maybe even a timescale before the bereaved go back to work etc…but how anyone can coldly state that 2 weeks is long enough to mourn is beyond me!

    Christine…your comment about that fictional cop that probably brought us all to where we are here and now….well, gee wizz, who could blame you!

  • By Christine, September 9, 2010 @ 9:29 am

    Hi Hilly, What an interesting post. Personally speaking, I don’t think it is at all possible to put a time scale on grief. However, as time constantly moves on we all cope in different ways, each to their own. I don’t think the actual ‘pain’ or maybe that ought to be yearning for the lost loved one ever leaves you. How can it?. There’s always going to be that feeling of ‘I wish he had seen/heard/done that, we are all human and there will be bad days. Sometimes I become a real pain and go off somewhere just to be alone. I only come back home when I shake off the mood and I am worth talking to lol. Amy often comments on how SHE is meant to be the moody teenager, haha terrible isn’t it? when you can see yourself being stroppy!!.
    Take care,
    Christine xx

  • By hilly, September 9, 2010 @ 10:57 am

    I’m crossing my fingers that this link will work…the article was originally in the Boston Globe.

    I’ll send it to you by e-mail Christine.

  • By hilly, September 9, 2010 @ 10:43 pm

    well that’s weird – the link I posted to that article has disappeared…if anyone wishes to read it I’ll post the link on the message board of this website.

  • By Frances, September 10, 2010 @ 3:02 am

    Hi Christine,
    I was so sorry to hear about your son Matthew, and I totally understand your need for keeping things that belong to him, In my opinion it’s only natural that you would want to do this, and as grief effects everyone differently, we all have our own ways of dealing with it, and as John Lennon once sang,”what ever gets you through the night.”, you do whatever you need to do. I just hope that my talking about feeling better for getting rid of my Rubbish, did not sound too flippant.

    Hi Carol,
    or should I say Doc!, had to laugh when you mentioned the worms, because it reminded me of the time when I used to work the night shift and i would walk home early in the Morning, and see snails slip-sliding across the pavement, and there was I, trying my best not to step on any!! Couldn’t quite go as far as picking them up but I did my best not to squash them!!

    Anyway you two as always,

    Take Care.

    and hope everyone else has a good Weekend.

  • By Christine, September 10, 2010 @ 3:44 am

    Hi Frances, No really not flippant at all, we all need a good sort out sometimes, although I have to say I tend to keep as much as I throw away lol.
    To be honest Frances, this subject all came up because I decided to decorate. My house hasn’t changed much since Matthew died which will be 4 years in November. I think it was a sub conscious kind of thing to keep things as they were. So I have gone right through the house got more paint on myself than the walls, and if I say it myself its looking good.
    I have turned his bedroom into my study. There are photo’s of Matthew and Amy on the walls.
    With this computer in and loads of books and buddha ornaments, a beautiful photo of Paul above my desk (well he had to be there somewhere yknow!) plus Matthews things etc. Its a really ‘positive’ room, a room to go and sit and remember Matthew and have time to myself.
    At first I thought I was maybe holding onto the ‘past’ by keeping his things, you know everyone has their own views on it, but thanks to you guys on here I have come to realize that its ok to feel that way. Dear me, where would I be without this blog?
    Take care,
    Christine xx

  • By Frances, September 10, 2010 @ 7:50 am

    You seem to be doing just fine, and glad to hear that you have a Study that you can relax in, it sounds lovely, I know what you mean when you talk about having this blog to come to, it’s a little oasis of calm to share with like minded people, I’ll
    raise a glass of wine to you and your Study over the weekend….. ENJOY!.

    Take Care.

  • By Sammy, September 13, 2010 @ 9:40 am

    It has been a while since I have been here – and I have missed it so much.

    Life throws curve balls at us everyday.. every minute… heck.. every second.. .. When you dodge one there is another and when you jump aside lo and behold there is a bigger one on the other side.. I am just thankful that I have friends I can lean on at moments like that.. but sometimes no matter how many people are around you, telling you that everything will be OK, deep inside you know things are going from better to worse and that you are all alone – you have to take a decision and follow it all by yourself..

    Christine.. I have known you for some time now and I know a little bit of what you have gone through in your life.. People sometimes don’t talk to us about certain things thinking that they are shielding us from a pain. They try to protect us from a pain they think will do us harm than good- But Oh boy.. don’t we know about that huh?

    I lost my father 10 years ago- He was the love of my life and with him I know a part of me died- The hard thing is I couldn’t even attend the funeral- I was a thousand miles away from home (overseas for studies) and no one ever told me how sick he had been a couple of months ago- I would call home every week when I was away and every time I called he was at home- We talked for hours and he joked about everything as usual.. but he or my mother or my brother or any of the relatives never told me that he had his first heart attack and was hospitalized for four days. For me the home front was as happy as it could be until oneday when I called home my mother was crying and telling me that my father had got sick – again- and taken to the hospital two hours ago- I was shocked to hear that it was his Second attack when I never knew about a first one- I have still not got over it- Then within the next hour I heard that he passed away at the hospital- The last time I saw him was seven months before he was at the airport waving at me .. Saying Good Bye.. I never thought that was the last… I never had a chance to see him before he was cremated.. the next flight that I could get in to go home was two weeks after the cremation- I didn’t want to go to an empty home anymore- For me.. when I still call home, 10 years after.. in the back of my mind I feel that he will come to the phone and talk to me. His death is something that I still have not accepted 100% because I was never ready for it.

    People hide things thinking they are saving us from heartbreak but if I had known he had a heart attack, I would have time to prepare myself for the inevitable- I would have gone home taking leave from my studies, I would have been able to stay with him during his last moments.. But well… my friends, my relatives wanted to keep me away from all the pain because they thought it would disrupt my studies- I know they did it out of love and I can understand their reasons. I don’t blame them. They did what they thought was best for me… But there hasn’t been a single day in my life since he died I wish things were different and I had a chance to be with him. This pain I feel inside has never lessened and I know it never will. It is a mix of regret, sadness, helplessness, and hopelessness all entwined together. No matter how much tears has been shed, this pain is so tight but I have learnt to live with it knowing that I will never get rid of it until the day I die..

    But it taught me a lesson and I promised myself I will never let this happen to anyone else in my life- Right now my mother is living with me and there came the next curve ball- She got sick out of the blue.. At one time I thought she was not going to make it. However.. now she is much better but physically she is not as strong as before. I see her getting weak everyday.. Like I promised to myself, I informed my brother right away about her condition and my relatives who were concerned about her.. I know she will be with us for another long time but I didn’t want to hide anything from anyone knowing how much I suffered and how much I am suffering because what happened to me.

    If one has to suffer.. there is no way to stop it- It will happen one way or the other.

    So like Hilly said.. and like Christine agreed.. there is no time scale on grief.. We just learn to live with it. If we can forget it.. great! .. If we can learn to live with it, I think it is still great! Painful but great!

  • By Christine, September 13, 2010 @ 11:10 am

    Hi Sammy, Welcome back! Its really nice to hear from you my friend.
    I’m sorry to hear about your father. What is crystal clear though is the love you feel/felt for him and that is the most important thing, just in my opinion. I’m so glad that your mom is getting better, although I do know that sometimes we are not as strong as we were before. The love you feel for your family is really quite moving, they are so lucky to have you in their lives. You are a special lady. I’m sure your father would have known in his heart just how much you cared for him. In my opinion (for what its worth lol), I don’t think we are ever ready to lose our loved ones. But the positive thing is that they always remain exactly where they ought to in our hearts, and memories. Funny you should comment tonight, I went shopping for something for dinner tonight, and a mother and son passed me up and down the aisles he was a typical teenager running behind the shopping trolley and jumping on it to get a ride you know the kind of thing? his mother laughed and rolled her eyes saying ‘Teenage sons’ to me, and I had to smile at this teenager a few years ago that would have been Matthew, doing the same thing to bug me. The point is there are reminders every where, little things that spark a memory, I have to say it left me with a lump in my throat but smiling too. Some where your dad, my son, and all our loved ones will know they are loved and missed I’m sure of it.
    Take care Sammy,
    Christine xx

  • By Frances, September 13, 2010 @ 1:44 pm

    Hi Sammy,
    Just want to say that for what it’s worth you are in my thoughts.

    Take Care.

  • By hilly, September 14, 2010 @ 3:29 am

    welcome back Sammy.

    Someone I know professionally told me today that he is a medium…he said that the moment he met me he sensed something. When he went on to talk about it he was spot on. this was not one of those vague ‘you’ve dealt with something tough in your life’ kites that so many so-called seers fly – he hit the nail fair and square on the head (without knowing it and without me telling him what it was).
    It made me wonder to what point we carry our baggage more visibly than we realise. I get a sixth sense about some people (unfortunately not all and usually only if I meet them in person) and I am sure that some of us have been in the same place in another time.

  • By Christine, September 14, 2010 @ 4:12 am

    Hi Hilly, I have to agree with you on this one. No, I haven’t lost the plot…..well at least not yet lol but seriously though there are just too many things we can’t explain in this sometimes strange life of ours.
    I watched Paul in the Great Houdini a couple of weeks ago, goodness it took me ages to load the whole film bit by bit I never realised Houdini was such a troubled man. I have been told by various friends to see a medium, their views on it seem to be I will find the answer’s I’m looking for. I don’t know Hilly, there may be some genuine people out there, but the thing is once one ‘gets a message’ what does it do to the mind? Is there ever real peace of mind to be found?. Some of my friends went to see a medium and came back with various stories, and messages for me but to be honest I try not to dwell on it as you could drive yourself mad. To each his/her own huh? Whatever gets a person through the day.
    Best wishes,

  • By Christine, September 14, 2010 @ 4:22 am

    Oh and if anyone hasn’t seen it Paul is wonderful in ‘The Great Houdini’ I was only 11 when it first came out, I have finally seen it lol.
    Sorry way off topic!! :)

  • By Sammy, September 14, 2010 @ 7:14 pm

    Hi Frances.. Means a lot to hear such kind words. Thanks a bunch!

    Christine.. You have always been such a good friend. It always amazes me of your ability and sensitiveness to reach and show such kindness. You are the one who is special.. Extra special!

    Hi Hilly.. about the ‘medium’ and about how sometimes we feel what is going on- I think with people we know or spend time together, we are attuned into them and tend to pick any change in them; we feel their pain, joy, desperation, and what not. I know I feel my friends when they are happy or sad or when there is something troubling them. If you have that sixth sense Hilly it is a blessing- There is no need for your friends to tell you what is going on but you can feel them and you can say something or do something to help them.. It is always better when you can do something to help before you have been asked to.. don’t you think?

    But when it comes to strangers or someone you met for the first time, if one still knows/feels what is going on.. wow.. that is something; isn’t it? It is a little bit scary to think that someone can creep inside your mind without you knowing any of it- Still haven’t decided whether that is a good thing or a bad thing..

  • By Softly, September 15, 2010 @ 2:20 am

    To strip Love.

    Love is never lost they say, I wondered about that. Love never dies is another cliché used, but is it true?

    When I was thirteen I fell in love with someone, head over heels and totally. Puppy love they would call it, but for me it was so much more than a mere infatuation. It was no doubt the deepest love I had ever felt up to that point.

    I went back to that love today to test the premises mentioned above.

    Although the feelings I then called love were real, the object of my love was not. The image I loved was a character on the TV. The love I felt for this character grew with every weekly episode and so did the flock of butterflies in my stomach. It fueled my fabricated belief that somehow he could be real. During the week I had conversations with him inside my head and I clung to the feeling of safety those conversations gave me.

    I don’t have to watch the reruns of the series to visit that overwhelming feeling that the flock of butterflies caused, it is right here, right now. I can stand right in the midst of this cloud of colored wings or choose watch them dance from a distance.

    Watching from a distance I can see clearly that not all butterflies are love, some of them are a different colored feeling all together.

    There is the butterfly of hope for instance, hope of something better than this prepubescent life.

    There is the butterfly to cure of the indescribable loneliness I felt at that time; at least now, in my head, I belonged somewhere with someone and that someone did not think me strange. A someone that would listen to my point of view and ask the right questions. In my head I did not get ignored by the someone that I loved so deeply.

    Then there was the butterfly that gave me the illusion of safety, it gave room to spread my wings with fearlessness and be free. The folly of reassurances that when push would come to shove I would be saved by this picture perfect person, but push never came to shove enough to find his red Torino in front of our house and me being whisked away. The illusion did however give me enough strength and stability to face what even injustice I thought I saw.

    There also was fairness and the wings of rebellion I felt justifiable righteous in when at night, just before I went to sleep, I told of my day to the poster on the wall. The voice that came from my illustrious love went far beyond the words given to him by writers unknown. He would stroke my hair when I told of my intentions to do right but how it fell apart anyway, and in his eyes I could see pain and sadness when I told of the “right” I did for all the wrong reasons.

    I so desperately longed to feel save in his arms and to do right in his eyes that it guided me through the formative years of my life and it made me find my rebellions feet in relative safety.

    I knew that it was all an act and that my hero an illusion but even so I clung to it with all my might. I never tough saw the need or understood the need of others to scrutinize the private live of the actor who gave form to my hero, to me act and actor were never the same.

    It is only in the reruns I realize that you can only play the reality of deep friendship when you have know the reality of such deep friendship and the actor must play a deeper part in the act than I then thought.

    But still, it is in my never aging, never changing hero that I had rested my hopes upon and I had him scrutinized my private live. This cocoon of feelings and illusions made me feel save and they helped me grow.

    And now when I strip the butterflies of hope and sense of security away from the love, shed the wings of righteousness and I found a place for the revelations of my rebellion, I see the love for what It really was and always will be; an un measurable and unwavering source of energy that is there for all to dip into.

    When I strip this love away from the illusion it is not love for the act or the actor, nor is it the love for where or who I once was or where it has brought me. It is the energy of love that fed me then and feeds me now, it is love that stroked my hair and it was the lack of love that I saw as pain in his eyes.

    Love has no form but it will take any, it has no purpose, it is the purpose. Love gives no safety but it is safety, it has no hope to give but it is full of hope. Love is not mine to give, but it is given to me freely. It was undying then as it is now and it is never lost but always right here to be found and it is yours for the taking.

    In gratitude I’ll remain forever learning, …

  • By Sammy, September 15, 2010 @ 5:06 am

    Softly.. This is just beautiful!

    I still have tears in my eyes.. I was reading my own thoughts and my own life in your words.. then realized our worlds were the same… this is what have brought most of us here together today. The same feeling, same experience.. I am glad that I am not alone.

  • By hilly, September 15, 2010 @ 8:37 am

    Softly, Sammy…me too.
    And I think it might have saved my life.

  • By hilly, September 15, 2010 @ 8:39 am

    It was the ‘refuge’ that the character provided by the way (the actor had attracted my attention long before).
    Thank you Mr. G for making that wild young cop someone I felt safe with when the storms blew at full force in my life

  • By Christine, September 15, 2010 @ 12:07 pm

    Hi Sammy, Thank you for your kind words. Hope all is well with you.

    Hi Softly, What a beautiful post!. You really hit the nail on the head there, thank you for posting.

    Hi Paul, Hope all is going well for you.
    With love as always,
    Christine xx

  • By carol4spot, September 15, 2010 @ 4:10 pm

    Softly says, “It is the energy of love that fed me then and feeds me now, it is love that stroked my hair and it was the lack of love that I saw as pain in his eyes.
    Love has no form but it will take any, it has no purpose, it is the purpose. Love gives no safety but it is safety, it has no hope to give but it is full of hope. Love is not mine to give, but it is given to me freely. It was undying then as it is now and it is never lost but always right here to be found and it is yours for the taking.”

    Softly, I like your interpretation of love. I have to agree about love, it really has no defintion. There isn’t anyway to ‘describe’ love as it is more of a feeling. Does love have to be a relationship with someone? Does it have to be sexual connection? Does it have to be getting married and having a family? I’m of the opinion that love is all around us. It doesn’t have to be the perfect connection with the man of your dreams. It is the meaning and purpose of life. I find love in everything. I for sure found love in Starsky. I mean, who didn’t. His character was the most real I have ever seen on screen. I believe, my opinion, that his character in the series was alot of who he is for real. Hey, I could be wrong. I believe that he had alot of compassion and that is what I felt for sure. And, given my horrible childhood, he did in fact give me hope, and compassion. It was beautiful. I think he should be very proud of who he is to have given many of us the world over his beauty and compassion. Does he have enough to spread around? I think so. Let’s all ‘dip’ in!! Thanks for your post! PMG really is a truly wonderful spirit and I totally allow it to flow into my soul. It is great energy. I wonder if he gets tired after his runs with me? Haha..Hi everyone…xocarol

  • By sknash, September 16, 2010 @ 1:26 am

    Paul, I don’t know if it is appropriate to wish you Happy Holidays but I do know Yom Kippur has passed and Rosh Hoshanah is coming up and if you commemorate these holy days, I wish you many blessings and peace. But then, I always wish you many blessings and peace. Thanks for your light in my life and anxiously awaiting word when Chrystallia can be purchased.
    Love, peace and blessings! Susan

  • By Christine, September 16, 2010 @ 9:15 am

    Hi everyone, Love? there are so many meanings to the word. I love this blog, my daughter is my world, as are my friends, we feel love everyday for someone.
    I believe and this is just a personal opinion here, never be afraid to tell someone how much you care; for the simple reason it is better to
    tell them than live with the regret of never doing it. Who knows what tomorrow brings?. I have wished so many times in my life for the chance just to tell someone how much they really meant to me, then that person is gone and all the things that should have been said never were. Life is too short not to tell the really important people just how important they are to you. Just my opinion…..
    With love,
    Christine xx

  • By Nora, September 17, 2010 @ 10:36 am

    Hola Paul,
    Te envio todo mi cariño en estas fechas… que sea de esperanza, solidaridad en entre todos los seres de este mundo… y paz…
    desde mi corazon
    Nora (Argentina) :)

  • By Frances, September 18, 2010 @ 4:01 am

    I have just read your posts and could not agree more, I have spent the last week really thinking about the relationships that I have in my family and how I react to them, and really at the end of the day what kind of life are we living if we don’t show the people we love and appreciate how we feel?, when we are still here together. How much pain is caused by putting off something that should be said here and now, people mourn a passing not realising how much they themselves were thought of. Life is for living people!…..please don’t put of till tomorrow what can be said today. (Just my opinion!!,) and just think how much better you’ll feel too, after all it’s what makes the world go ’round!!

    Take Care.

  • By carol4spot, September 18, 2010 @ 4:21 am

    Hi Nora, just did a google translate on your post and wanted to say thanks and to send you back the same peace and love!

    Frances, it is so very important to spread the love to everyone around us. I mean, I feel it takes alot less energy to be nice than it does to be mean. It’s easier, if you will. It also brings good things back to you. Love just creates love. Giving love makes others feel good and in effect makes you feel good. And yeah, if someone you care about dies, there is nothing more awful than living with guilt of the would’ves, could’ves and should’ves. Treat people right in the ‘now’. Hi everyone!! xocarol

  • By hilly, September 19, 2010 @ 12:27 am

    amen to that Pam.

  • By moncanzuba, September 19, 2010 @ 5:50 am

    Hello everyone,

    What a ride to come here time to time is, and “watch” the development of this site. The generosity of the hosts and members at sharing and discussing life experiences enriches me every time I come here seeking for knowledge. I may not be a frecuent poster but I am a regular “reader” and I for myself am very grateful with you all for your kindness. May the peace of mind be with you all.

    Monica (from Argentina)

  • By valerie, September 19, 2010 @ 11:58 am

    Thanks Pam..

  • By hilly, September 22, 2010 @ 11:14 am

    there is an oft quoted ‘moment’ from the TV series that brought so many of us to where we are today (here). One says to the other ‘who do we trust’ and the other says ‘me and thee’ (edited version)
    that isn’t a bad philosophy for the way so many of us are interacting on these blogs – sparked off by the words and thoughts offered to us by PMG.
    Many have come here to share fears and personal difficulties – or the strategies by which to deal with them. I think it is safe to say (in the absence of those who came here to cause trouble and seem to have given up) many have found friendship.
    One person (apart from Mr Glaser) has worked hard to achieve this – so spare a thought for Pam who is recovering from a spider bite! This ‘me’ is thinking of ‘thee’ Pam. Get better soon….and stay away from the spiders

  • By Christine, September 22, 2010 @ 1:49 pm

    Hi Hilly, Good post there.
    Can I please wish Pam a speedy recovery, oh those spiders sound dreadful!!.
    I never knew you got poisonous spiders in California!! Take care Pam.

  • By Sammy, September 24, 2010 @ 5:13 am

    Hilly: Thanks for the post about Pam..

    Pam.. Sending you bright and warm wishes in the hope that you bloom into good health..
    Get well soon!

  • By Nadine, September 24, 2010 @ 6:15 am

    Pas de nouvelles de Paul sur ce blog ! Et notre Pammy à L’hopital ! c’est trop dur!!!!
    Courage ma Pammy pleins de gros bisous!!!!!!!

  • By Rachelle, September 24, 2010 @ 6:58 am

    Hilly nice post about Pam

    Pam – I’m sending you many get well wishes and prayers for you!!

    Happy Friday everyone, Rach :)

  • By marly, September 26, 2010 @ 6:54 am

    Dear Pam,

    The kids and I got a couple of “pet “spiders in our class room.
    Thank god they’re just a bit creepy but totally harmless…

    All my best to you, Pam and a speedy recovery!!!


  • By Marie, September 27, 2010 @ 2:49 pm

    Dear PMG Ce’ad Mile Fa’ilte

    I live in a small coastal town on the South West coast of Scotland more famed for its golf than debates about philosophy or metaphysics.I came upon this site by complete accident as I am known more for my indifference to my laptop and the internet but your writings make me feel compelled to share in a way I have never and would not in the social culture in which I live. Somehow it is easier to speak into the ether of the net not knowing who this will reach,if anyone.This is my first ever blog!

    I think it was John Henry Newman who wrote that: Heart speaks unto Heart and from what I have read on this site your heart has most definitely spoken to other hearts and for the good.
    And so I find that my heart would like to speak. Having acquired a set of wheels – I don’t mean of the Tomato kind – the subsequent enforced recreation has taught me things about myself that I never would have discovered had this not happened to me. My Gran always said I was an amalgamation of Scottish and Irish ancestry, that mixture of Fire,Ice and Steel the Celts are known for-with hearts of warriors tempered by souls of poets. I have needed all of these to survive this without bitterness or regrets. The paralysis came like a thief in the night with no warning, I went to bed whole in my comfortable world and awakened to a different existence. My consolation that the doctors managed to stop the paralysis before it took my lungs as it crept ever higher up my spinl cord. In my hospital room I lay there flat on my back with no option but to wait for the anger,fear,depression,stages of grieving that I was told I would experience-I think my carers could not think of anything else to say but had to tell me something! So I waited but,even to my surprise,I did not freak out and I did not get down. Instead, I felt only a quiet acceptance – I do not know how to explain this perhaps these are the wrong words to describe the quietness,stillness and patience of soul which I felt then and continue to feel. I wonder is this the inner patience of which you speak?
    Neither did I feel at any time that I should give in or give up. Described as the most determined person the doctors and physiotherapists had met (I am sure this was to disguise the real adjectives they would like to have used but could not!)and I guess I owe this too, to my ancestry and in this I am fortunate as I watched so many people just give up during physical rehabilitation. During this period my memories and remembrances played a really important part in coping. I found my mind which had no physical restrictions wandered to forgotten places and experiences both pleasant and unpleasant and opened up to completely new possibilities and belief systems, ways of thinking,feeling and being. I was fortunate to have travelled on this beautiful planet and to recognise the sentience in other beings and it was to this that my mind leapt. In my travels I had looked into the eye of a wild whale or rather it had looked into me and to my astonishment I had met with an ancient and curious soul that seemed to reach straight into me; I had looked into the eye of an elephant and recognised a soul of immense gentleness and compassion staring straight into my very being, a compassion which I wish I could see in many more of my fellow human beings. I had been raised with a respect for all life and what I thought of as a healthy appreciation for nature but through this I have learned to really see the inner beauty and humanity which is so often masked in others and I really do see now the beauty in nature and through my studies in T’ai Ch’i I meditate and relax in this beauty. I have finally found a peace and contentment of soul that I think may not have been possible had this not happened to me.

    I am not saying that I am thrilled by the situation I am in but perhaps this quiet acceptance and inner patience is worth the price of learning it! I miss dreadfully being able to waltz, a long slow dance, the feeling of sand on my toes and paddling on the shore, the feeling of a horse underneath me and the power as we take a fallen log in the forest and being held in a hug by a man with all the emotions this simple gesture of contact evokes that means so much human to human. Yet I understand that there is so much more internally now. My world if I am honest was mostly an external one with all its gratifications but the internal one of heart, soul and spirit is so much more rewarding if we just know where to look – into ourselves and others. it is a much richer world of compassion, humanity, warmth and yes, hope. Things/possessions don’t mean much to me now but the abilities to dream, think, feel warmth, love, compassion and fun do, we cannot put a price on these they cannot be bought. I do not live in an “I want” world now but rather I ask do I “need it” and then again do I “really need it” and I look at what I do have which is so much more than others less fortunate than myself. Although I might never have someone to share my life with then I can live with that as this inner patience is worth so much more to me and my appreciation for the things that really matter has developed in a way I think it never could, should I not have been ill. In essence the positives in my life far outweigh the negatives.

    No matter how far I have travelled in my personal journey I recognise that searching and yes, suffering too is part of our human condition but misery is optional. I most certainly do not have all the answers. I continue to be a work in progress. For example, there are certain of my Celtic traits that are more manageable than others but when I fail and I do and I will, I recognise that this is a valuable part of me too – a valuable learning experience especially when they require a bit more patience and understanding than might readily be available to me from both I and others!

    Thank you PMG for sharing your artistry of your craft and the insights of your experiences. I find you inspirational – something I need to help me get through as a better human being. I realise now what is really closest to my heart: the love of family and friends; the beauty of nature and a quiet reverence for everyday miracles. I affirm the things that are truly important in my life: faith, hope, optimism and joy – precious gifts that can be ours when we open our hearts and believe.

    I hope that my sharing has not been inappropriate and I thank you for affording me this space to allow my heart to speak.

    I hope that your Heart continues to speak unto other Hearts.



  • By Sarah L, September 27, 2010 @ 3:41 pm


    I hope you don’t mind me commenting on your post. I haven’t posted on the blog for some time. However, your post made me feel that I wanted to do so. It is so beautifully written and truly inspiring. You have such a refreshing outlook on life. I’ve recently started Tai Chi and I pretty much suck at it right now. I hope that with persistence, I too can feel ‘peace and contentment of soul’.

    In this particular blog, Paul said that. ‘By exercising our ability to be aware, by meditating on the present with the help of all these sensations and feelings and thoughts that are there to remind us that we have a conscious place’. So many of us aren’t aware of the ‘now’. We are too busy thinking ahead to something we need to do later or to something we have forgotten to do. Sometimes, it takes a life changing event or illness to make us appreciate the ‘now’ and the importance of non material things.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I enjoyed reading them immensely.

    Best Wishes,

  • By Terri, September 27, 2010 @ 4:31 pm

    Marie, I feel the same as Sarah. Your post is so beautifully written. It caused me to feel so much as I read. I wish you all the strength you’ll ever need as you continue your journey. You are a inspiration. Thank you for your words. Terri

  • By hilly, September 27, 2010 @ 10:47 pm

    I am so impressed by my first quick reading of your post that I have printed it out to read with as much care as you obviously gave to writing it. Before I comment any more. Thank you for this wonderful start to the morning

  • By PamT, September 28, 2010 @ 1:57 am

    Marie: Your extraordinary post touched me deeply and came as such a breath of pure, fresh air. I don’t want to dissect or comment in too much detail and thereby distract from your words, especially as they were addressed to PMG. But I hope you won’t mind if I simply say that your sharing of the discovery of the most precious of life’s riches is, as others have said, truly inspirational and you have beautifully conveyed the most essential of truths. You are obviously a remarkable lady and I wish you all the very, very best.


  • By hilly, September 28, 2010 @ 3:21 am

    I’ve had the time to re-read Marie’s post. No dissecting or commenting…just a big smile of appreciation for the way her mind works.

  • By Sammy, September 28, 2010 @ 10:38 am

    The ability for you to find peace and contentment and to show such compassion and share your beautiful self with us is truly inspirational. I was moved by your post.

    You have so much to offer Marie. Please do comeback and write. This is a wonderful place to share your thoughts. Wishing you strength and comfort of all elements!


  • By carol4spot, September 28, 2010 @ 11:40 am

    Marie,I have to say, I too was moved by your story. Thank you for sharing. I have found in my experiences with human beings, it is the ones who have had such tough times that have learned so much and can teach you so much. You are another example of that. You turned a negative into a positive. Connection with nature is also
    something I can relate to. When you say you saw gentleness and compassion in the eye of the whale and the elephant I completely related. It is something that also taught me, as it did you , to see those things in human beings. Nature’s a good place to start for healing. I wish you the best in everything. Thanks again..xocarol

    PamM, yikes on the spider bite. I sure do hope you heal fast! those darn spiders can leave some wound site.. speedy recovery..

  • By infidelabumpkin, January 24, 2011 @ 10:48 am

    Softly –

    The best posting I can appreciate is your last one about your 13 year old love affair with a TV character.
    Tell me, others may call your love for this character ‘infatuation’ but you called it love and I think that is so true. Did the character teach you good things and make you feel good? YES. I think the character may is still real because it’s still there, you still love it. It brought you peace, joy and love. It taught you HOW powerful love can be. It didn’t do anything.. it was just THERE.. it inspired/brought out the best mood and affection from your heart.

    Your posting reminds me of an onion. You peel it and you peel it and it still is an onion – i think the purest love is like onion. I think this character did really exist in some plane, like your heart. You still love that character and perhaps the person who played the character. Do you analyze the difference between the person and the character – no, perhaps. Maybe you do, I don’t know and I don’t wish to judge.

    All I know is that you love this character. Maybe not analyzing is the purest kind off love because you JUST love. Oh yes, the character may be an imaginary TV character, but who is to say that Saint-Exupery for instance, didn’t really talk, meet and love his ‘little prince’?

    does love make the person/character real or does the character/person make the love real and pure? i think it goes both ways… who says that you can’t hold on to a lovely rainbow if you can feel its beauty and magic in your heart? maybe that’s like love and.. onions.

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