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It strikes me that one of the difficult things about swimming in satsang, ( the reciprocal and simultaneous experience of teaching/learning/teaching/learning), is that what I meditate and write about might not be understandable to others either because I can’t write it or they can’t hear/understand it. Or both. I say it is ‘difficult,’ when I really mean is an opportunity for me to accept both alternatives and not have to be burdened with which is right and which is wrong, true or false.
And maybe the notion of a world without right or wrong is offensive, even threatening to some, however, I believe that anything that we can identify as being beyond our comprehension is where we really want to go.That’s the place we speak of most often; heaven, eden, paradise, eternal peace, unending love. That’s the place that our minds can’t know and can only try to describe with words in an effort to quantify and qualify the experience of feeling.
The mind doesn’t feel.
It thinks.
That’s how it experiences itself. By doing. Its existence is entirely comprised of doing, judging, evaluating, ordering, controlling….not being.
And because it cannot feel, the mind creates with its definitions of sensation/feeling words, scenarios that defend and enrage, sadden and yearn in their complex stories of what happened or didn’t happen in the course of our conditioning in this journey of life.
The experience of feeling, experiencing the senses is an unknown to the mind. It is the unknown.
If the mind can’t ‘know’ something, (it being one of its favorite ways of ‘Doing’ in order to support its pursuit of immortality…or at least the illusion of immortality), it has a vast supply of weapons to deal with the unknown. At any time it can see it as horrible and dark and deathfull, exotic and mysterious, sometimes benevolent, and an ethereal spirituality to be adorned with all the gilt of honor, tradition, belief, philosophy and magic. It can defend against it with rage; rage at one’s self (read: ‘helplessness’: most commonly experienced as depression), hate,anger, killing, owning, controlling, obsessing, forgetting, DENYING any experience of the fear that always creeps in from the unknown.
Yet, we don’t experience life with our minds. We see it, measure it, etc, however we experience life through our senses. Our physical and by extension, emotional feelings. We experience, know—its existence and ours by feeling them.
Our minds can editorialize and spin the story any which way, but hold the presses: how did it/being/life feel?
So here’s a question; If there’s something that we feel that our minds can’t understand or control, (and we’re only using what small percentage of our brains(?), then what’s the point of having a brain? I mean besides the cars and medicines and exquisite war machines, (can’t say ‘nice music, good food, good sex…’ they’re feelings/sensations), the rule of law and the dollar, and the edifices of belief; the cathedrals, temples, and shrines,…good pizza…
It’s what we use the mind to focus on. We honor our senses within and without, as we honor our brains.
We enjoy our ability to exercise the muscle of thinking.
However when confronted with our inability to affect the outcome of something, like our lives, when that degree of helplessness paralyzes you or simply tickles you with some indigestion or rage, while our minds may be able to create a bandaid to deny that horrible feeling of helplessness… the fact is that our minds fear that they can’t help us out. How do we know this? With our feelings. Listen to them. That’s what they’ll tell you.
What we can do, is to focus our minds on things that reaffirm and bring us to a more peacefull place. The more we do it, the better we remember to do it the next time. How do we focus the mind?
We ask it questions.
Questions such as; ‘what do you hear? what do you see? what do you smell? what do you feel on your skin,what are you thinking? RIGHT NOW. HERE in the Present? Which is ALL you can ever really know…
Can you see yourself thinking , feeling, smelling…? Can you see yourself sitting there reading this?
Get cooled out, you know, relaxed.
Be in a comfortable place.
Close your eyes so that it is just your space..
Ask these questions and simply watch. Watch yourself asking the questions and watch yourself as you are feeling all your sensations, watch your mind think its thoughts…
As you watch, you are plugging into the great ethernet of existence of which…(just contemplate this…don’t feel like you have to judge your feelings about this experience…) of which everything is thought, knowing.
Consider this experience of being with everything that exists, has ever existed, will continue to exist….forever, eternally, immortally…
You are experiencing the true meaning of ‘knowing; ‘ Being one with. Belonging. Feeling a part of. Feeling as if when you leave this body behind, a part of you keeps going…forever, (of course your mind wants to believe that it has a ‘structure’ to it, like the Big Boss, and laws, and underlings, and people that deserve to be there and don’t.)
You don’t have to give it a name, because you already know it. It’s where you came from, it’s where you are going to, it’s where you are, right now, as you read this.
This is your truth.
You are everything that feels good and that doesn’t.
You are all of it.
You don’t have to judge it or identify it…that will not help control it or deny it.
Our experience of life is replete will all that we experience in pain and in pleasure. We can choose to honor our consciousness, to honor this enormous and, yes sacred gift: our ability to be see ourselves exist, our awareness that allows us to honor that gift, for this is truly the only thing thing we want…to climb to our higher being, to find the chalice, the fountain of youth, true love, God. You can call it what you will. This is home.
Just a thought..
J ust a thought.
On Blogging and Shared Thoughts | Paul M. Glaser | 
May 17, 2010 11:07 pm
By hilly, May 17, 2010 @ 11:44 pm
“…what I meditate and write about might not be understandable to others either because I can’t write it or they can’t hear/understand it
The ultimate ‘stream of consciousness’ writing it seems to me. Yes sometimes it seems that you are writing things down as they formulate in your mind.
I ramble so I can follow; but I can understand how others get lost in the maze!
many many years ago I’m sure I saw you quoted as referring to meditation as ‘a shelter for my mind’. Welcome home!
By jools, May 18, 2010 @ 12:37 am
First thoughts, knowing that I will come back to read and re-read the above and maybe understand a little bit more each time.
Trying to take in all you wrote; some out of reach of my comprehension (for the moment at least); perhaps on first read not agreeing with something, but then brain cells spiking with an ‘ahh’ as something else makes sense to me ~ however elusive, but definitely being there in that fleeting moment. Fleeting because at the back of my mind (!) I’m aware I cannot stay to digest for too long as I have to be somewhere else this morning.
But thanks for giving us all more to consider. I shall look forward to revisiting when I have more time to relax, ponder and do all those meditative suggestions to see if I can find ‘my space’.
Cheers
Jools
By Christine, May 18, 2010 @ 6:03 am
Hi Paul, Hey its great to see you back!!! really missed your thoughts. I now have a smile on my face. Going to go and re-read a few times mull it over in this brain of mine and I’ll be back! Arnie? no just me lol.
With love as always,
Christine xx
By Terri, May 18, 2010 @ 6:17 am
Hello Paul, I agree with Christine. Glad your back. I also have to read your words a few times before my thoughts let me try to comment. (I don’t seem to have the ability to express well ‘on paper’) what I’m thinking but love reading your thoughts. Understanding you. Love, Terri
By hilly, May 18, 2010 @ 8:16 am
me to Jools – I ended up printing it out so I can see where I was when my mind wandered off to ponder and got lost on the way back
By Rachelle, May 18, 2010 @ 8:58 am
Hi Paul,
Welcome back and always good to hear from you! You’re a very good teacher – Lovely thought of “Home”.
I think to just be in calm space and “to just be” sounds very relaxing wherever we are at the moment. Life is such a busy place at times!
Enjoy your day, Rach
By Nadine, May 18, 2010 @ 11:17 am
Merci Paul de vos merveilleuses pensées ! Ce n’est pas évident pour moi de bien comprendre je me fais un peu aider par mon mari et pour ce qui est de vous répondre impossible pour moi , je dois donc attendre la traduction par Hilly si elle en a le temps !
C’est un honneur et un grand plaisir pour nous de vous lire tout les mois ce contact entre vous et nous est un privilège je ne connais pas d’autres ” acteurs ou chanteurs ” faire comme vous !
Personnellement vous me redonnez un peu de ” Baume ” au coeur ! vous Pam et les filles m’aidez à supporter la maladie de mon papa , merci et encore merci Paul !
Etes vous capables de lire ce commentaire sans le traduire en Anglais ? Faites le moi savoir si vous y êtes arrivé !
Amitié ! Nadine
By hilly, May 18, 2010 @ 11:38 am
(I always have time for you, Nadine, My friend…)
Paul, thank you for your wonderful thoughts. It isn’t easy for me to understand and I get my husband to help me but it is too difficult for me to reply to you so I’ll wait for Hilly to translate if she has time
It is an honor and a pleasure for us to read your posts every month and this contact between you and us is a privilege, I don’t know of any others (‘actors’ or ‘singers’) who do what you do. Personally you bring a little ‘hearts ease’; you, Pam and the others have helped me handle my father’s illness; thank you over again, Paul.
Can you read this comment without an English translation? Let me know if you manage!
All the best,
Nadine
By hilly, May 18, 2010 @ 11:41 am
and now on my own behalf…I’ve printed it out and I’m scribbling notes all over the place. My mind is screaming for shelter and time out at the moment – I think this will do it some good
By xtexan86, May 18, 2010 @ 5:07 pm
Okay, if 'the mind doesn't feel. It thinks,' then are you implying that feelings like love, hate, joy, pain don't originate in the mind? If so, then where do they come from? It seems that the mind can do everything else, compare, judge, reason, decide, but not feel? Why can't the mind feel?
So, once again, I'd like to pose a previous question. Do feelings come from the heart or the mind? My guess is on the mind, since people who've had heart transplants don't appear to take on the 'feelings' of their donors. Also, I just can't see any other organ in the body, liver, kidneys, stomach, pancreas endowed with that responsibility.
Except, perhaps, the brain. When you refer to the 'mind', do you also mean the 'brain'?
xt – willing to wait for as long as it takes
By hilly, May 19, 2010 @ 7:07 am
xt that very very good questions!
the heart s merely a muscle; a pump it has no capacity for formulating emotions or anything else BUT we give it credit in our popular mythology for ‘ruling’ our emotions – especially that old con-man: Love. Right up until the end of the 18th century the medical world believed that we were governed by our organs. Someone who was bad tempered was said to be “splenetic’ and having an excess of the spleen. We still refer to people as being ‘sanguine’ – (from the french for blood – sang) not hot-blooded but more pragmatic. (I have a Premiere Magazine article about Paul directing The Air up There – the journalist described him as ‘sanguine’….. Hysteria was said to be a uniquely feminine emotion (and guess where that comes from). So your remark wasn’t far off the point.
Does the mind think or feel? Isn’t the mind that function of the brain that we are conscious of in our reflections and thoughts? It is a visualisation (or a personification?) of our intellectual porcessing – as opposed the brain’s other functions which are purely ‘management’ and ‘administration’. The brain – as an organ of the body- feels no pain. A headache or the pain from a brain tumor is ‘felt’ i the head but it isn’t the brain that feels it…it just interprets the pain signals from the nerves. Surgeons can test reflexes by stimulating the brain directly while the patient is conscious – they can even operate on brain tumors knowing that the brain won’t feel a things. but if the patient is not relaxed s/he will perceive ‘pain’ because the mind said ‘hey shouldn’t that hurt when,the doc does that?”
And that to me is the crux of some of Paul’s more recent thoughts – how do we know when our minds are formulating a new idea or when they are merely processing the information of an experience (a pain for example) in terms of information that has gone before? In thinking the mind decides how it feels – usually on the emotional or abstract level, but also on the concrete level.
I would say that the ‘mind’ is a function of the brain.
By Raffy, May 19, 2010 @ 9:12 am
I too think that the mind doesn’t feel. Maybe it can perceive through the walls what comes from our senses, which connect us to this plain of life and make us able to relate to it, and to the higher self, to all that is inside every “shape”. Then the mind starts thinking…and thinking…and most times this thinking is something useless and illusory, a way to escape that fear we constantly perceive. It is able to create “feelings” and situations. But we are even beyond them, in that pure space of consciousness.
I guess we can only experience that the mind doesn’t feel, it is a personal experience within ourselves. If I try not to think, or when I rarely get in touch with the silence between my thoughts, then it seems to me that the mind, my capacity to think, is there for me to use it for something different from to just feel. We can make a good use or a bad use of it, we can choose. But there is something else inside us which feels. And my supposed “I”, my mind’s creation, that I am unable to catch though…where is it? in reality it doesn’t really exist in the way we fantasize on it, we are something continuously changing, and my attachment, and the attempt of my mind to stop this flow, to define it, is for me a source of suffering.
What we see is very little if compared with what we don’t “see”. I think we have more than this physical body. When I try to feel it I am able in that moment to feel the distinction between it and that “energy” flowing through it…this is another body, a sort of spiritual body. And many more could be there, inside and outside the material body. But I think this one, the visible one, has the best “structure” in order to resist the impact of what is negative and tries to penetrate us.
Our “bodies” should be connected, or they try to be connected, but it is very difficult I think. The energy doesn’t flow well and we feel sometimes so bad at many levels. I guess the energy, or a lack of energy, concentrate in particular places, maybe at the heart level, or in the brain… there are places where we experience this massive presence of energy, both when we feel good or bad.
I guess we are very complex… meditation for sure helps being present, our only infinite moment of life, and listen to ourselves, go beyond our thoughts, in a space of consciousness where we don’t need them in order to “define” who we are…
It must be so peaceful to feel always at home….
Thanks, Paul, for your always insightful, brightening words…
Namaste, Raffy
By hilly, May 19, 2010 @ 11:41 am
I’ve been focussing on this passage:
we don’t experience life with our minds. We see it, measure it etc. however we experience life through our senses. Our physical and, by extension, emotional feelings. We experience, know—its existence and ours by feeling them.
This is how I read it…of course someone else may read it another way and Paul may not have meant it the way I read it but here we go:
We see and measure life through our senses and it is our mind that is the coordinator. The administrator that pulls in the info and the contributions and makes sense of them.
Sense? in what sense am I using the word sense?
Sense…the 5 senses: touch, hearing, smell, taste, sight.
The ‘sixth sense’….some think it is a paranormal capacity to see/hear what others don’t. But isn’t it just intuition?
Sense…as opposed to nonsense…that which is understandable/credible/”right”
Whatever we mean by ‘sense’ the mind has its role to play. It is the mechanism by which we can process and try to understand (make sense of) the input from our eyes, ears, nose, tongue, fingers, skin…good sex and a good pizza? And what made that good sex…did it feel right or did it ‘feel’ right? And the pizza? Good because it tasted right/smelt good/looked pretty….
oh boy what a mess I could get into here.
All these senses give us a framework for how we measure our existence. If we doubt – maybe it isn’t there. Remember the bible tale of “doubting Thomas” – he had to put his fingers in the holes to believe. Trouble is there were no cameras there for the big ‘proof’ photo-op so what if the rest of us still aren’t convinced….
And if we doubt…how can we be sure that we are here?
We know we are here because…we see and smell and hear and taste and touch the world around us. Or we perceive the input of those sense as giving us proof of the world around us.
So we have to believe…at least believe in the information our senses feed us…or feed our mind.
We have to trust that mind to give us the right information and to reassure us that we belong.
We experience life because we know we are alive because our minds tell us that the evidence proves it.
Unless of course our mind is reading a script written by the kind of journalist who makes up the ‘sources close to….’ in order to convince the reader. The spin is the thing!
And if our minds ‘editorialize’….then we need to look again at our memory of events in our lives.
And that is a whole new exercise for the mind and the senses.
By Christine, May 19, 2010 @ 1:28 pm
Hi Hilly, The pizza line got me too lol. Paul kind of went from serious to pizza? made me smile and laugh I have to say, very cute. What topping? I like a bit of bolognese myself lol. Seriously though, your comments are great to read Hilly.
By Terri, May 19, 2010 @ 1:53 pm
xt,Thank you for expressing your questions so well. I’ve been thinking the same thing. My I join you in waiting for an answer or clearer reasoning from Paul. I’m always confused in the beginning. Terri
By Christine, May 19, 2010 @ 2:31 pm
Hi Paul, Well where to start?. I guess our brain/mind is our most valuable tool. For the creative person that tool can be the key to success, to a worrier it can so easily push you to the edge, depending on how you use your mind to focus. You know over the years you hear the term used ‘mind over matter’ and yes I guess in some cases you can actually ‘think’ yourself through a situation by positive thinking. The thing is we don’t always ‘think’ the same as we are feeling. Your mind can be telling you one thing and your emotions are screaming something totally different. Our minds store our information and details like a diary, it simply takes a ‘trigger’ to remember someone, somewhere, or something, then the emotions kick in and its like your back at the place you yearn to be or are trying to run away from. The mind is a funny thing, you can be the most intelligent man/woman and yet have no common sense!! (I actually knew a professor he was a brilliantly talented man but he had no common sense it was hilarious sometimes!!) he also had the greatest sense of humour going. Anyway, I agree with you Paul that we try to run from any threat of helplessness, that’s probably when I personally am at my most angry when I can’t figure a way to do or help in a situation. I have tried your sitting with eyes closed and trying to cool down, hey it does work! even for me and that’s saying something lol.
With love as always,
Christine. xx
By HILDA LIPRACE, May 19, 2010 @ 3:57 pm
Querido Pablo: gracias por estar nuevamente aquí .sobre lo que escribió voy a tratar de entender un poco mas .pero aquí va un poco de lo que mi cerebro pudo rescatar .mi reflexión es la siguiente .el cerebro es el centro nervioso de nuestro cuerpo ,el es el que da la información si me duele un dedo para dar un ejemplo.somo como esponjas ,siempre queremos saber mas y mas entender y entender seguramente a lo mas intendible ,es nuestro ego lo que nos lleva a querer mas (ego ¿un sentimiento ?) yo hablo o escribo lo que siento en este momento después de leer su reflexión .yo separo el cerebro de las emociones o sentimientos .puedo pensar que quiero una determinada cosa como ejemplo una pizza con morrones ,quiero esa pizza .pero cuando voy a comprar a la pizzeria no hay ,ya lo que pensé se esfumo tuve que comprar otra pizza de otro gusto .así es la vida pensamos y pensamos y no aprovechamos el momento el hoy las oportunidades que nos da cada día y muchas veses perdemos el tren y ese tren pasa una ves .voy a dar un ejemplo yo conozco niños con síndrome de down y ellos son puros no tienen pensamientos maliciosos son puro sentimientos el amor puro por excelencia aquí la mente no maquina cosa feas maliciosas .creo que ese es nuestro problema .nos juzgamos a nosotros mismos y a los demás ,estoy tratando cada día de mis sentimientos no en mi mente .la paz interior en mi caso la busco en oración en comunión con Dios y como es eso ,hablar con el y estar a solas con el es ahí donde siento el amor el calor hasta diría que siento que estoy en un torbellino de paz ,muchos pueden decir también la meditacion .el ser humano tiene muchas experiencias vividas en el transcurso de la misma .hay que sacar de ello lo mejor ,si tropiezo con una piedra tratare en otra oportunidad de no tropezar nuevamente siempre hay que sacar la enseñanza de las cosas vividas ,quien no tiene o tuvo un problema creo que todos es la manera de afrontar la vida ,yo opte de afrontarla de la mano de Dios el que guia mi vida el que decide todo absolutamente todo ,hasta si tengo que comer esa pizza de morrones .no es que yo no decida pero meditando u orando tomo las decisiones en mi vida .por que si decido así a la ligera me puedo equivocar ,pasa .si que pasa por ser impulsiva ,bueno señor glaser seguiré leyendo mas de su escrito para poder entender y poder desmenuzar para poder comprenderlo mejor hasta ahora esto es lo que pienso o siento .o las dos cosas -un abrazo cordial Dios lo bendiga-
HILDA
By MoriaDole, May 19, 2010 @ 4:44 pm
Hm…
“I learned a great meditation: ‘There nothing to do, nothing to change, everything is perfect just as it is.’”
That sounds like a variation of a line of Perchik’s in Fiddler on the Roof. But I do not agree with it.
By xtexan86, May 19, 2010 @ 8:18 pm
Just another angle/thought on the topic of ‘where do feelings originate?’
A small infant, one who is barely old enough to recognize a face or its mother’s voice, feels hungry/tired/scared and cries out. How does it know how to do this? What prompts this display of emotion, ie., feeling? Obviously, one so young hasn’t had the experiences of a mature adult, as tends to be the target audience of this blog.
This is why I don’t understand when you say that the ‘mind’ doesn’t feel. If not the mind, then what else?
xt
By Sue, May 20, 2010 @ 3:29 am
xtexan:
I *think* it might be that the “mind” is a sort of translator. It gathers up all of the feelings and chemical processes going on throughout the brain and the body and translates that into something that it can understand and vocalize.
It’s sort of like a newborn. The newborn is wet and uncomfortable and as a sort of reflex, it cries out. When it does that, a parent comes and comforts it. The infant’s MIND quickly puts together “crying = comforting” and then repeats the action in all sorts of situations, knowing that action A will produce response B.
So the “mind” doesn’t feel. The “body/brain” feels, and the “mind” translates those feelings into something that it, and others, can understand.
Alone, it has no capacity to feel. It only has the capacity to calculate, to come up with words that try to explain that feeling. In some ways, it’s very good at doing that, but in some ways, it’s very bad.
Sue
By hilly, May 20, 2010 @ 4:01 am
Sue,I’ve left you a note on the fan forum.
By chavie, May 20, 2010 @ 9:24 am
Mr Glaser…. at a time like this, thank you for NOT doubting our capacity for self-reformation. I read your blog and it makes me see things in another light — thank you for giving so much of your thoughts and TIME like telling us you have not yet given up on the human race
With people like you, how can we ever lose hope… I have read it and will re-read and let it “settle” in my mind/soul . Yes, music is something that is felt… so are most creative endeavors… You seem a genuinely nice person. Thank you again
By xtexan86, May 20, 2010 @ 9:29 am
Sue -
I *think* you might be right. I can see the mind being like a go-between. To me, though, it still begs the question of how? For example, if you program a computer to take 1 and add it to 1 to get 2, it will do it. But how does it know to do that?
Forever confused, but in a good way…xt
By zephie, May 20, 2010 @ 10:13 am
Mr. Glaser,
Why is it that intellect and reasoning are treated as separate from emotion or spiritual experience? The mind is a receptor for our emotions, consciousness, unconsciousness, and experiencing all the things around us, right? So what, then, is so wrong with thought? Or needing to learn from or apply all the good and bad things we live or feel or experience? It doesn’t make a lot of sense to me to focus on “thought” as some sort of impediment to spiritual or emotional experience.
Also, I really hope that by saying there is no “right and wrong” the meaning was there is no “correct and incorrect.”
For some reason, the most recent post are troubling to me. And empty somehow. I can’t quite put my finger on the exact why of it all, but it is making me reevaluate so many of my opinions (Perceptions, maybe) of what I have read and heard here in these things I’m reading. It’s disappointing.
By hilly, May 20, 2010 @ 11:21 am
empty? No wonder you are disappointed! Maybe you should read some of the contributions again?
Start with xt’s last contribution:
I can see the mind being like a go-between. To me, though, it still begs the question of how? For example, if you program a computer to take 1 and add it to 1 to get 2, it will do it. But how does it know to do that?
Forever confused, but in a good way
No, there is nothing wrong with thought – far from it, it is the unthinking and the thoughtless (not to say those incapable of thought) who do damage in this world. Three very different things. the unthinking are careless in their thoughts – they do not ‘look before they leap’ but they are not necessarily uncaring! The thoughtless tend to be casual about what they do and say – without taking into account the reactions they may leave behind.
But both these ‘faults’/'weaknesses’ do not mean that the person has not thought about what s.he is saying/doing – they just don’t see beyond the act to the consequences. Great thinkers – philosophers and others – can make thoughtless remarks when formulating their ideas.
Those incapable of thought are just…well, not too bright. thoughtlessness and unthinkingingness (horrible word but I can’t think of a better one) are as likely to be the faults of the highly intelligent as the ‘intellectually challenged’.
Right and wrong/correct and incorrect….these are abstract ideas that have been given concrete meanings by our society’s ‘rules’. What is right for me may not be right for you – in terms of beneficial/ healthy for example.
What is incorrect is not necessarily wrong. ‘Wrong’ has ‘moral’ implications that ‘incorrect’ does not…at least in English. In French ‘correct’ may also mean ‘appropriate’.
(the link that has appeared above my post is neither correct not appropriate – it is the thoughtless and unthinking result of a spammer’s lack of brains!)
By hilly, May 20, 2010 @ 11:23 am
no that spam post is not above my post – it is still there, below it….I wonder how long it will stay?
By , May 20, 2010 @ 11:59 am
wow…I found you again, here, today…yippee, and I see/read that you wrote this piece on my 67th birthday, May 17th….whoopie…a GIFT, so I say Thank You Paul ! …and smile a giggle or two….remembering your funny face from the 4th, 5th or 6th grade…who knows?….Satsong is what I called it way back in the late 60′s, early 70′s.. .Just plain ” moving the energy ! “. We can do that whenever we like.
Love, Linda
By Sue, May 20, 2010 @ 1:06 pm
Hilly:
I’m not sure what or where the fan forum is?
By Sue, May 20, 2010 @ 1:16 pm
Never mind Found it.
By Sue, May 20, 2010 @ 1:21 pm
xt:
I am *so* not a computer coder, so I’m going to make an arse out of myself here, but…
When you put “1″ into the computer and then put “+” and then “1″, you *see* “2″, but that’s not what the computer comes up with. It comes up with its own computer binary language, I think. Like 1010101101011 or whatever.
WYSIWYG is like the “mind” of the computer, translating the computer’s binary code into something that you, as the end user without coding experience, can understand.
WYSIWYG doesn’t actually do the adding. It just takes the computer’s sum of the two numbers you entered and translates it into something that you can understand.
I think.
Maybe.
Sue
By Christine, May 21, 2010 @ 4:06 am
What’s with the spam? honestly some people!!!! For those of us who don’t know a great deal about computer’s ……Pam is there any way you can get these off here?
Thanks,
Christine.
By Sarah Levy, May 21, 2010 @ 4:16 am
Sue, I really liked your following paragraph;
‘I *think* it might be that the “mind” is a sort of translator. It gathers up all of the feelings and chemical processes going on throughout the brain and the body and translates that into something that it can understand and vocalize. ‘
That is such a great way of explaining it.
Sarah x
By Rachelle, May 21, 2010 @ 6:10 am
Christine and Hilly – I thought the pizza reference was cute too. I prefer Hawaiian myself.*g* That sounds like a good dinner tonight as it’s my youngest son’s birthday.
Happy Friday Paul, Pam and everyone! I hope the weekend is lovely for all!
Rach
By hilly, May 21, 2010 @ 6:19 am
I make a mean pizza!
By PamT, May 21, 2010 @ 10:26 am
Many thanks, Paul, for once again taking the time and trouble to articulate your thoughts. In common with others, for me they invariably act as such catalysts – so I sincerely hope that you are able to receive something positive from the experience as well. The equanimity you seem to have found with regard to the whole process caused me to stop and take stock of some of my own dealings in life. And I shall try your meditation …. interesting how often we say that home is where the heart is.
On the discussions concerning the origination of sensations/feelings/emotions and the role of the mind, here’s where my thoughts turned …. if I haven’t eaten for some time, my stomach and a section of my brain will instinctively work in tandem (perhaps through a kind of biological pre-programming?) to express a ‘sensation’ of hunger and I will become aware that I need to fuel up for energy. Put a pizza in front of me and not only will it assuage the pangs of hunger, I will also feel the taste sensation in the ‘pleasure’ section of my brain … or perhaps in the ‘displeasure’ section if I omit to ‘hold the pepperoni’ (yeah – I’m pleased at this point that I chose to explore the pizza scenario, rather than the sex one
). But rather than being given a pizza, suppose I’m presented with a dish which is not immediately identifiable, but which I’m told comprises slowly-casseroled dog. Logically, it will also supply the nutrition that my body needs, but I’ll ‘think’ of this as being intrinsically ‘wrong’ and even feel disgusted at the prospect. My reaction will mainly be a consequence of my ingrained social conditioning and ‘morality’ (I’ve been raised to form bonds of affection with dogs and even regard them as part of my family). Is eating dog intrinsically ‘wrong’? Wrong to me for sure, but in abstract terms surely no better or worse than killing and eating any other sentient being. A Korean diner, who has absorbed completely different social conditioning, might well have very different ideas and regard it as a perfectly legitimate, even potentially delicious, meal. My revulsion (and accompanying judgment of ‘unacceptability’) isn’t instigated by the intrinsic smell or appearance of the dish, but by my mind’s subjective interpretation of the event and so comes from a different place to the one that simply and more impartially ‘experiences’ sensations such as pleasant/unpleasant, sweet/bitter etc etc.
Personally, I’m convinced that dogs (and in all likelihood other animals also, but it’s the species I connect to most closely) feel and display emotions of love, hate, fear, jealousy, joy, humour, boredom, patience, impatience, enthusiasm, lethargy & more and that they are also profoundly influenced by their social conditioning (incidentally, they seem to me to be far better as staying present than we generally are). I can ‘see’ that, as humans, one of the things that sets us apart is our ability to be aware of how our mind is working, together with the ‘tricks’ it can inadvertently play on us, and to opt to gradually focus it in a direction that rings true for us. This is indeed where we can have a choice. As PMG has said concerning the journey to consciousness: ‘It’s a process, a callisthenic for the mind so that we have the opportunity to utilize the true power of the mind and not be a victim of our mind’s insatiable need for power’ and, in terms of the focusing: The more we do it, the better we remember to do it the next time’. I find that guidance very useful.
“And maybe the notion of a world without right or wrong is offensive, even threatening to some, however, I believe that anything that we can identify as being beyond our comprehension is where we really want to go.”
Now there sits one massive subject in itself, but morality – the assertion of what is right or wrong – is, in my opinion, a human-constructed subjective concept. And one that fluctuates in accordance with the culture, the times or the circumstances in which we find ourselves living. Take the subject of the biggest moral judgment of them all – the taking of human life. There is no way that can be ‘right’, surely? Except that it is sometimes deemed acceptable, for example, in times of war, within cultures which engage in capital punishment or in other circumstances. So in some societies, we seem to say ‘It’s wrong, but it can also be right’. And then we can go down the lines of ‘Your sense of morality is wrong and mine is right’. If we avoid intentionally harming others, is it because it’s ‘not right’ and against the ‘rules’? For many of us, I don’t believe so. The answer lies somewhere else …..
Wishing all well.
Pam T
By Sue, May 21, 2010 @ 1:28 pm
Sarah: Thanks!
By marly, May 22, 2010 @ 3:04 am
Thank you Paul for your inspiration on this intriguing journey.
As always your blog challenges me to wonder off in search for possible explanations and possible answers to questions that arise after reading your words.
On the internet I travel all around the world in my quest to find out what ” the mind” actually is and on these travels I get to meet many teachers(including my fellow bloggers over here) and just as many different opinions and explanations…….At times I get confused, bewildered, annoyed, disappointed, unsure, scared, tired and I hear myself thinking:”I’ll never ,ever get to the bottom of this cause it’s way too complicated”, but after a short while I find myself back on the track….(anyway,it’s all about the journey and not about reaching goals).
Last night,whilst traveling, I “met” Krishnamurti and I want to share this meeting with you, shared thought bloggers.
Just sharing.
This man’s teachings appeal to me and I am planning to read more of his talks, books, etc.
“What is the mind? When I put that question, please don’t wait for a reply from me. Look at your own mind; observe the ways of your own thought. What I describe is only an indication; it is not the reality. The reality you must experience for yourself. The word, the description, the symbol, is not the actual thing. The word door is obviously not the door. The word love is not the feeling, the extraordinary quality that the word indicates. So do not let us confuse the word, the name, the symbol, with the fact. If you merely remain on the verbal level and discuss what the mind is, you are lost, for then you will never feel the quality of this astonishing thing called the mind.
So, what is the mind? Obviously, the mind is our total awareness or consciousness; it is the total way of our existence, the whole process of our thinking. The mind is the result of the brain. The brain produces the mind. Without the brain there is no mind, but the mind is separate from the brain. It is the child of the brain. If the brain is limited, damaged, the mind is also damaged. The brain, which records every sensation, every feeling of pleasure or pain, the brain with all its tissues, with all its responses, creates what we call the mind, although the mind is independent of the brain. You don’t have to accept this. You can experiment with it and see for yourself.”
extract from: Talks by Krishnamurti in India 1959 (Verbatim Reports) New Delhi, Madras
Third Talk in New Delhi, 1959
Link: http://www.jkrishnamurti.com/krishnamurti-teachings/view-text.php?tid=613&chid=4932&w=Third+Talk+in+New+Delhi%2C+1959&s=Text
Gradually I get to see that I’m carrying way too much luggage on this journey.
Learning to let go of excess ballast seems to be useful (for me) in order to create more freedom of movement.
You know something?
The more I read and learn the more humble I feel.
Marly
By carol leatherman, May 22, 2010 @ 4:06 am
It is truely wonderful to read your blogs. You really know how to get me to think.. Not just think but to look inward to see who I really am. I thank God everyday for individuals like you, who keep us honest to ourselves. Thank you..Carol
By Sarah Levy, May 22, 2010 @ 5:45 am
Pam T,
I thoroughly enjoyed your comments.
You are right about the food scenario. In the western world, we would instantly be revolted at the sight or thought of eating a dog, despite the fact that when you think about it, it’s meat. I’ve often discussed this very thing with people who have questioned why I don’t eat meat. I’ve asked them how they can happily eat a lamb or a pig but would never eat a cat or a dog. The reply usually is, “but cats and dogs are pets”. I do feel that conditioning plays a part in what most people feel is acceptable to eat. (I’m in no way preaching here. I only point this out to people when they comment on my meat free diet.)
Another point you made that I found myself nodding my head to was;
‘Personally, I’m convinced that dogs (and in all likelihood other animals also, but it’s the species I connect to most closely) feel and display emotions of love, hate, fear, jealousy, joy, humour, boredom, patience, impatience, enthusiasm, lethargy & more and that they are also profoundly influenced by their social conditioning ‘
Having seven cats in our family, I would say that is most definitely true. Some breeds of cats are prone to being laid back, such as the two British Shorthairs we have. However, conditioning also plays a huge part in their personalities. One of our cats had been ill treated before coming to us. At first, he hissed, growled and lashed out at me. With time, he learnt to trust me. He is happy to sit with us and be petted but still, if he’s startled, he’ll growl. Compare him to some of our other cats who had good starts in life. If they are startled, they’ll either look around as if to say, “what the hells going on here?”, or they’ll run but no growling because they’ve never been in a situation where they’ve had to look after and defend themselves.
I’d say you’re spot on with the emotions you mentioned that animals feel. Some of them are attributed to the kind of breed they are but most definitely, conditioning plays a huge part.
Oh…and thanks for not going with the sex part…sliced Pepperoni…ouch!
Best Wishes,
Sarah
By Sarah Levy, May 22, 2010 @ 5:47 am
Sue, you’re welcome. You explained your point in such a clear and eloquent way.
Sarah x
By hilly, May 22, 2010 @ 6:53 am
Believe me my cat thinks; pouts, sulks and usually gets the better of everyone else (four and two-legged
I’m sure he gets headaches and right now he has amazing hay fever – atishooos louder than I do:
By Sue, May 22, 2010 @ 11:05 am
Pam:
I think I’m going to have to disagree with you on the animals issue. Please don’t think it’s because I’m not an animal lover, because I am. In fact, my life insurance and estate are all bequeathed to the ASPCA. I’ve owned dogs all my life, including currently having two furkids, a chihuahua named Gremlin and a 135 pound Rottweiler puppy (yes, he’s still a puppy!) whose name I won’t mention, but whose name would be extremely familiar to everyone here (hint: it begins with an S).
And I think that attributing human emotions to animals, anthropomorphizing, isn’t just incorrect (in my humble opinion), but also can be dangerous.
S doesn’t love me as I, a human, understand love. He respects me. He respects me because I am the leader of his pack, and as such, must be protected at all costs. He will give his life for mine without thought, but that’s not love. That’s survival instinct. The pack leader MUST be protected, even if he has to die doing it.
But make no mistake. If I fell down on the job of being pack leader, he would take over from me in a second. That’s how dogs are. The entire focus of their being is for the health and safety of the pack. And every pack must have a leader. And if I can’t be that leader, HE will, and he won’t have any difficulty letting me know that, either. And, since he’s heavier, a hundred times stronger, and has the strongest bite force of any domesticated canine in the world (even above the pit bull), I would NOT come out of that very well, believe me.
While animals can and do express emotions, they’re not what we, as humans, spin them out to be. They are full and worthy unto themselves, with their own ways of being, their own emotions, and their own ways of expressing those emotions that are meant to be understood by those of their kind.
I think that (and I’m not accusing, believe me) anthropomorphizing can be vain and selfish, as if animals must somehow live up to OUR ways of expression and living. We’re only currently at the top of the food chain because of our big brains. Without them, we’d be what we really are…prey animals for carnivores.
IMHO, of course, and no offense meant to anyone who thinks differently.
Sue
By hilly, May 22, 2010 @ 11:12 am
To clarify – I think that when Mishka “emotes”‘ it is on a feline level and not a “human” one. He is sneaky though. A couple of weeks ago I was dealing with shrimp…Mishka likes shrimp; he thinks he should be given ALL of it. We have 2 doors to the kitchen – one to the dining room and one to the terrace. I shut them both (it was raining) and left him protesting and doing ‘poor little pussy’ routines in the dining room. then things went quiet and he was gone. Two minutes later he appeared at the terrace door – he had figured it out. Go down and out of his cat flap and appear at the kitchen door in the rain so I would just have to let him in!
If I go away for a couple of days (he is not alone when I do, my mum is there) he sulks when I come back. I get a nice view of his tail for 24 hours!
As one article in the International Herald Tribune put it a couple of years ago: the domestic cat is the most perfectly evolved of all the felines; it has found a way to have humans do everything to make its life as comfortable as possible.
PS Sue; don’t worry about the dog’s name; way back ‘then’ my man had 2 cats…you guessed!
By Sarah Levy, May 22, 2010 @ 11:30 am
Sue,
I cannot speak for Pam. Only she knows what she meant when writing her post. However, my take on it was that animals can display several emotions. It doesn’t follow that those emotions are exactly the same as the ones we have. For instance, one of my cats displays jealousy towards my other cats. I use the word ‘jealousy’ because that is the best description I can give that behaviour . Casper does not like it if my other cats are getting attention from me. He will use various tactics to get that cat away from me so that he has me all to himself. His reasons for doing this may be different from those of a human who is jealous of another human, but to me, they are both displays of jealousy.
You are right that we have to be careful when attributing human emotions to animals. Animals need to be free to act as animals. However, we are all animals really. Just as different species will share similar or the same behaviour, it’s not too far fetched to believe that some animals and the human species can do the same.
Best Wishes,
Sarah.
By PamT, May 22, 2010 @ 11:45 am
Sue: that’s absolutely fine and believe me, no offence taken whatsoever. I completely accept what you say concerning the leader of the pack element (although my hound is a complete wuss and being pack leader is probably the last thing on his mind). I wasn’t actually thinking of any love he may or may not have for me – rather to what I have perceived to be his love for another dog. There doesn’t appear to be in any rivalry as to who is top dog. They simply seem to be never happier when in each other’s company. A great friendship – which incorporates love, to my mind. I don’t see myself as a fan of anthropomorphism either (although I think there are worse crimes and classing it as dangerous may be over-egging it a tad) – rather, my perception is that many characteristics we class as ‘human-nature’ are more like ‘animal-nature’. There are aspects that I don’t consider to be present in animals. For example: regret (unless caught in the act), embarrassment, sentimentality and probably a whole lot more which don’t immediately spring to mind. And, of course, the cognitive ability to perhaps examine why we think the way that we do. BTW, I love Rotties.
Sarah: many thanks for your earlier response. Glad you enjoyed!
Wishing all well.
PamT
By Sue, May 22, 2010 @ 11:51 am
Sarah:
I agree with what you’re saying, especially vis a vis us all being animals. We have many commonalities, and as many differences as each species of animal has from each other.
What we’ve done, however, is taken an instinctual reaction (eg. the protection of the young) and put a name to it. Our name. And then we, in turn, put names to those instinctual reactions in other animals.
This is where the difference lies. Our mind makes up names to give the things that our brain and body feel, but because we are human, we tend to make more of those things that are instinctual than they really are, and then apply that “more” to the other animals surrounding us.
Most animals have an inborn instinct to protect their young. Just watch two mockingbirds divebombing the local tom when it gets too near their nest (too near being within a hundred miles, I think. LOL!) to see what I mean.
And we go “Aww, isn’t that sweet. They love their babies so much that they don’t want them to die.”
BUt I doubt it’s love as we label it. If that protection instinct wasn’t there, they’d abandon the nest in times of danger, and the fledglings would die, thus decreasing the population and eventually causing the extinction of the species as a whole.
We, most of us, do the same thing. But instead of calling a spade a spade, we call it “love”. And because WE call it “love”, we automatically label any other animals displaying the same behavior as “showing love”.
That’s not to say that there aren’t instances every day where animals display what we call “affection”. But because we’re not those animals, we can’t really say why they do it, or what they feel when they’re doing it. We only know why WE do it. To implant our emotions and ways of thinking onto them does them a grave injustice.
Again, in my opinion.
Sue
By Sue, May 22, 2010 @ 12:05 pm
Pam:
The reason I say that anthropomorphism can be dangerous is that because sometimes it is. Take, for example, the life left to that brave, wonderful, horribly disfigured woman who had the misfortune to try and help the woman who had raised her chimpanzee as a human being. That was anthropomorphism to a T, and it cost the victim nearly everything but her life and her courageous spirit.
So many animal attacks come from the fact that humans think that they can tell what an animal is thinking or feeling based on how they look, or how the human would think or feel in the same situation.
Honestly, I wouldn’t use the word dangerous if I didn’t absolutely believe it was true.
Sue
By Sarah Levy, May 22, 2010 @ 12:13 pm
Sue,
I do agree with parts of what you have said, especially regarding the birds protecting their young. They will do this out of instinct and many people will look upon it as an act of love. However, if one of the chicks is not going to make it and the mother bird boots it out of the nest, those same people cannot understand it. They feel it’s a callous act, when in fact the bird is doing what it needs to do to ensure the survival of the remaining young.
Having said this, I do believe that animals feel sorrow, jealousy, love. Maybe not in the same way that we do but I feel they experience a form of it. Some animals pine for ages when their owner has died, even if others are feeding the animal and making sure it has it’s home comforts. If it didn’t feel love or sorrow, why would it need to behave in that way?
I really dislike it when people try to humanise their animals. Putting them in outfits, wheeling them around in baby prams are just two of my pet hates. (No pun intended) Animals are not humans, but I do believe it is possible for us to share some emotions, however, it is also important to try and understand them and not just put them into human categories.
Best Wishes,
Sarah
By Sarah Levy, May 22, 2010 @ 12:22 pm
Sue,
I absolutely agree with you regarding the chimpanzee incident. The way I see it is that Chimps are wild animals and should never be kept as pets or treated as children. Also, when a lion tamer gets mauled, I never feel sorry for that person. He/she has taken a wild animal and forced them to live a life that is unnatural for them, causing untold mental damage.
Domestic animals are slightly different because most of them have adapted and been bred to enjoy the domestic life. That is not to say that as responsible owners, we should not always be aware that there is still some of the wild in that animal and we should also let them be animals and not substitute babies.
I suppose what I am trying to say is this…I do believe that some (not all) animals can have a few similar emotions to humans. However, they are animals first. Any mutual bond we form with them is a bonus.
Sarah
By PamT, May 22, 2010 @ 12:38 pm
Hi Sue
I can relate to some of your thoughts. It’s always struck me how many people view bird-song as a sound that is so evocative of peace and the joy of life, whereas many birds are probably simply warning rivals off their territory or making vigorous efforts to attract a mate.
I don’t have children, so I don’t feel qualified to comment on the love and protection instinct of a parent for offspring. I find it interesting however, that some humans and animals alike appear to be able to deny their instincts and effectively abandon their young. I have absolutely no hard evidence to back this up, but I have a sneaking suspicion that it occurs more frequently amongst humans than in the animal kingdom. I’m not familiar with the tragic case you quote regarding the chimpanzee attack, so can’t really comment on that either. My limited experience is that many attacks on humans by dogs originate from a sense of fear.
I accept some of what you write about the labeling of emotions across the species, but equally who’s to say that if you and I talk of love that we are referring to exactly the same thing? We can only relate these concepts to our own experiences, which may vary enormously.
PamT
PS. Sarah: Your words on animal outfits have compelled me to reluctantly consign my dog’s ‘Elvis’ outfit to the bin. Just kidding!
By Sue, May 22, 2010 @ 1:27 pm
Pam:
*Exactly*! So if we can’t truthfully interpret another HUMAN’S idea of love, how in the world can we interpret an animal of an entirely different species??
As for the chimp attack, you probably do know what I’m talking about as it was broadcast worldwide (I listen to BBC radio and other non American radio news stations every night as I go to sleep and remember well it being broadcast because it was such a horrid thing.)
Anyway, this woman raised a chimp as her son, and some say more than a son, to be truthful. Like a lover. SLept in the same bed, etc. This chimp was I think almost two hundred pounds. One day, it got loose and the woman called her friend, who knew the chimp, to help her lure it back to the house. They say that because the friend had just cut her hair, she must have looked different to the chimp, and it went nuts, literally ripping her entire face off as well as her hands. The owner called the police, begging them to come and shoot it because it was killing her friend.
Eventually, the chimp was shot and the woman was just recently released from the hospital without a face, no eyes, and only thumbs on what were her hands. She keeps a veiled hat on her head so no one will be scared of her appearance.
By PamT, May 22, 2010 @ 2:28 pm
Hi Sue
It sounds to me as if we are BOTH attempting to interpret an animal of another species, but coming at it from different angles. Interesting how we each have our varying perceptions of the ‘truth’. Perhaps it’s an opportunity for us to accept to possibility of both alternatives (right and wrong) as per PMG’s blog entry? The ‘truth’ is that animals are as they are – it’s our interpretations that differ …..
Many thanks for filling in the background on the chimp attack. I can’t think how I missed it, but I did.
PamT
By Sue, May 22, 2010 @ 4:16 pm
Pam:
I’m not arguing with you. Just disagreeing. I’m not interpreting an animal’s behavior based on my experience as a human being (i.e. trying to force my emotions on him or her) by stating that dogs give their all for their pack leaders, or will take over if the pack leader grows weak. It’s what is shown in nature. A pack leader grows weak, another takes over. I’m not putting their emotions on display…I have no idea what they’re thinking. All I know is what they’re *doing*.
As far as the chimp goes, I have absolutely no idea why he ripped the woman’s face off. I said “they say” that the haircut is why he did it. For all I know, it could have been for another reason entirely or no reason at all. I don’t have a chimp’s mind. I have a human mind.
I don’t think PMG said anything about the ability to disagree, so let’s do that, yes?
Sue
By Sarah Levy, May 22, 2010 @ 5:19 pm
I wonder if somewhere in the world, a group of dogs are sitting around, discussing whether humans are capable of the same feelings they have?
By HILDA LIPRACE, May 22, 2010 @ 6:04 pm
QUERIDO PAUL : ESTOY LEYENDO SOBRE EL BUDISMO .NO HAY DIFERENCIA AL ESTAR BIEN CON DIOS Y CON EL PROJIMO ENCONTRE ESTE ESCRITO Y QUIERO COMPARTILO ,YA SABE USTED MUY BIEN SI A LEIDO MI REFLEXIONES QUE MI VIDA ESTA ENTREGADA INTEGRAMENTE A DIOS ,Y DIOS ME ENSEÑA A ESTAR BIEN CONMIGO MISMA CON SU PAZ CON LA PAZ DE DIOS ,SI YO TENGO ESA PAZ ESTOY BIEN CON MI PROJIMO .ASI QUE ESTE ES EL ESCRITO
Libertad
El budismo tibetano sugiere que existen cuatro puertas que conducen a la libertad. La primera puerta tiene un cartel que dice: “Olvida el pasado”. No te aferres a aquello que te ocurrió anteriormente porque podrías perderte todo lo que la vida tiene para ofrecerte. Considera el pasado como una ciudad que has dejado atrás y atraviesa la primera puerta sin arrepentimiento. El cartel en la segunda puerta dice: “Participa en todo lo que ocurre en este momento, no te retengas”. La llave que encaja en la cerradura de esta puerta es la participación plena. Cada vez que te entregues con el alma y el corazón se abrirá la segunda puerta. Cuando no estés obsesionado con el pasado y te halles totalmente inmerso en el presente –en tu trabajo y en tu amor por la vida y por otros seres– naturalmente llegas a la tercera puerta, cuyo cartel dice: “Abandona todo sentido del yo”. En lugar de detenerte en preocupaciones egoístas centrándote en todo lo bueno que pueden procurarte tus actos –como lograr fama y fortuna–, te centras en ser y en hacer con pasión: en experiencia y vida desligada del yo. Ahora, de la manera menos pensada, te hallas frente a la cuarta y última puerta: “Despójate de toda idea de futuro”. Cuando tu mente deje de divagar por el futuro, por aquello que serás o harás más adelante, te quedarás con el ahora, y la última puerta se abrirá de par en par. Sin pasado, totalmente comprometido, liberado del yo y sin expectativas, serás libre.
GRACIAS SEÑOR GLASER DIOS LO BENDIGA GRANDEMENTE
By hilly, May 23, 2010 @ 2:06 am
hahaha Sarah I don’t know about dogs but your last remark made me think of the scene in the Hitch-hiker’s Guide To the Universe when it is revealed that the universe is really just an experiment run by white mice!
By Sue, May 23, 2010 @ 6:44 am
LOL, Sarah! Maybe they are!
I know I just like ‘debating’ or ‘disagreeing’ as much as agreeing, maybe more. Agreeing doesn’t really teach me anything. Disagreeing does.
By hilly, May 23, 2010 @ 8:07 am
I just like ‘debating’ or ‘disagreeing’ as much as agreeing, maybe more. Agreeing doesn’t really teach me anything. Disagreeing does.
Debate is the best way to explore and learn from other people’s ideas.
Agreeing to disagree is an important part of understanding the difference between debate and arguing… on the other hand event he best of friends and/or lovers have ‘fights’ – that is a normal part of developing a relationship – even an online one.
By PamT, May 23, 2010 @ 9:37 am
Sue: I wasn’t actually under the impression that we were arguing! Still, I take your point. I do completely put my hand up to making some human interpretation of my dog’s emotions according to his behaviour (although how that equates to ‘forcing’, I don’t quite understand). At the most basic level, I interpret that he is experiencing fear if he clamps his tail between his legs and adopts a semi-crouched position with his rear end tucked under. Of course, I can’t know whether his emotion of fear ‘feels’ exactly the same as the fear which I may sometimes experience. It may do; it may not. But my subjective feeling is that it’s nevertheless close enough to apply that label of ‘fear’ ….. for me. (If I drew an analogy to fruit, I’d perhaps be thinking along the lines of two different types of apple, rather than an apple and a banana.) So, I make an interpretation that an emotion with significant similarities to that which humans experience is involved and, if I understand you correctly, by disagreeing, you make an interpretation that it is not.
Anyway, I could bore for Britain on this subject for ever and a day, but I’m more than happy to accept that we each hold differing views. I’ve enjoyed the exchange of opinions.
Sarah: What a bizarre, but intriguing, thought! Would Scooby Doo, Deputy Dawg, Gromit, Pluto and Lassie perhaps be members of that canine think-tank?
All the best.
PamT
By hilly, May 23, 2010 @ 11:10 am
Mishka(my cat), Mao(a local cadger whose owner named him that because of his yowl!) ab Kawa (the neighbour’s cat) are now sitting on my terrace. I suspect they are planning something…
but seriously….animals do, of course, have ways of signaling what we could term emotions (fear, aggression, for instance) as PamT has so eloquently described. Anyone who know horses know to get out of range of the hind legs when the ears go back. A cat swishes its tail when angry or worried (unless it’s Mishka – whose tail never stops even when he’s asleep!).
By Sue, May 23, 2010 @ 1:12 pm
Pam, I’d be more of the apple/banana type. Both are plants of different species, just as we are animals of different species.
I’m not exactly speaking of not being able to correctly read an animal’s signals, for that would be dumb. I know that when a dog lifts his lip and growls, he’s not asking me to be his bestest friend. I know when a cat arches and spits, I don’t want to reach out and pet her.
I’m talking about less tangible “emotions” such as love and happiness and things like that.
I’ll use a RL example here. An online friend of mine was under the misinterpretation that when a cat purrs, it means that it’s happy. She found this cat half mauled in the fanbelt of her car. When she extracted it, because it was purring in her arms, she didn’t think that she should take it to the vet, because it was obviously happy.
Aside from being incredibly naive, it was also dangerous and almost cost the cat its life. Lucky enough people derided her to get her to take the cat to the vet and save its life.
Another RL example with me. S is very headshy with strangers, like many Rotties tend to be. I’m taking him to training to see if I can get this corrected or if it is just a basic part of his personality. When I take him to dog parks, he seems so friendly, trotting up to people and wagging his stub, but when someone he doesn’t know reaches out to pat his huge head, he darts away. They’re erroneously reading into him feelings that he doesn’t have, and if he wasn’t trained as he is, he would have snapped at and bit those people.
So all I”m saying is that anthropomorphism can be and is dangerous at times. BUt that’s different than reading obvious signals of distress or anger.
Sue
By Sarah Levy, May 23, 2010 @ 1:42 pm
Hi Sue,
Sorry that this message is short but I’m off to bed in a while.
With regard to the cat situation your friend had… I would say that your friend believing the only time a cat purrs is when it’s happy, is because she doesn’t know enough about them. Yes, cats do purr when they are content, blissfully happy. However, they also purr when they are in pain. This is actually something that most people who live with cats would know. So, to conclude, I would say that the reason your friend misinterpreted the signals/emotions the cat was giving out, was more a case of her not knowing enough about them in the first place. Hopefully, most pet owners would be knowledgeable about the type of animal they are bringing into their home and it’s behaviour. Once you get to know your pet, it is usually easy to spot what their behaviour is indicating.
Night all. Hope everyone has a good one.
By Christine, May 23, 2010 @ 3:03 pm
Hi Paul. Feeling a part of. Feeling as if when you leave this body behind, a part of you keeps going…forever, Re-reading this through its true we do leave a part of us. Depending on just what you have done in your life, we have all made a difference in some way to a lesser or greater degree. I often wonder if I have done enough in my life, is there a certain amount of things you should do in a lifetime to prove your worth?. Sometimes its finding the reason behind the question ‘why am I here?’ you could find your way so to speak early in life and never look back or you may always feel that you haven’t found your purpose in life.
I think most of us would like to think that we made a difference. Memories, the part of the brain that stores the thousands of memories we build up over a lifetime. Interesting how I can forget what I did yesterday and yet certain things from 20 years ago are are still there fresh and clear. Its like the mind holds onto those special things forever so that you can almost replay it over and over when needed. If you think about it everything will become a memory, a few minutes from now typing this will be in the past, wouldn’t it be nice if you could sometimes ‘pause’ life or maybe rewind to the good parts again. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but the problem with it is that it takes you year’s to work out all the important stuff in our lives, then when you work it out its too late to be of any real good. You can try to pass on your learning experience to your kids and they will nod, maybe even agree a little and then decide to do it their way…… you try to save them all those years of problems just like our older generation did with us, but no one listens. Only when you can look back on it do you learn, why is this? Why do we always think we know better?. Anyway enough of my ramblings hope all is well with you Paul.
Goodnight,
with love as always,
Christine xx
By Sue, May 23, 2010 @ 7:51 pm
Yup, Sarah, I agree with what you’ve said. She just went on with what she heard about cats. Luckily, she told us and we were able to get her to take it to the vet.
By hilly, May 24, 2010 @ 1:43 am
cats purr when they are happy and when they are in pain or angry the purr frequently changes frequency – but not every one has the ear to detect that.
By hilly, May 24, 2010 @ 3:04 am
hen confronted with our inability to affect the outcome of something, like our lives, when that degree of helplessness paralyzes you or simply tickles you with some indigestion or rage, while our minds may be able to create a bandaid to deny that horrible feeling of helplessness… the fact is that our minds fear that they can’t help us out.
that horrible feeling of helplessness….. So what do we do when faced with it and all the strategies like listening to our feelings fail is?
Here I am again at that damn crossroads in the woods wondering which path to take and no longer willing to trust my judgment. No longer willing to have faith in myself. Depression does that: it transmutes itself into fear and fear drags you down and wrings you out and leaves you struggling to remember that you can trust yourself; that you can believe in yourself…as long as you have faith in yourself that is. And when you doubt even that? If I can’t have faith in myself how can I possibly have faith in anything (anyone?) else…because if I don’t have faith in myself I can’t trust myself to take the right path.
By chavie, May 24, 2010 @ 10:47 am
@Hilly, please check email.
By heidi, May 25, 2010 @ 1:37 am
Been thinking recently. It is so sad that a lot of children and teenagers do not know right from wrong and show no respect for other human beings. Times have changed.
Yesterday, I was watching the first series of “Star trek”—was impressed to see everybody working together–young,old–people of all races and colours. I realized what an effect such American programmes had on us when we growing up. Times seemed happier then and people had no cars or modern things but were satisfied with their lives.
Whenever I talked to a good friend of mine who was nearly 100 years old, she was sad to see how things had changed in the present day society. People were more loving and caring in her day!!!
Now everybody is scared to say “Hello” to their fellow man or neighbour. We were taught that it was good manners to say “Good Morning” to someone and pleasant. If I do that now in England, people don’t answer because everybody is scared of everybody else… SO sad.
By heidi, May 25, 2010 @ 1:53 am
Just another thought. It is no good to have fear in Life. It is best to keep plodding on.
We can not stop time from marching on and can not change our destinies.. Severe tragedy happened in my life but I was helpless to change the outcome of things..A higher being determines our lives and destinies– I firmly believe this.
By Rachelle, May 25, 2010 @ 6:11 am
Hi Heidi – it’s very true people don’t say “Hello” anymore in this society. It’s sad! Although where I work it’s in a smaller community and most people do still say hello! I must admit I was a little surprised when I went for walks and all the people walking by would greet me, but now I say hello too and it’s nice!
It’s a smaller community and I think that still matters to them. I live in a bigger city and it’s more rushed forsure!
Have a great day everyone, Rach
By hilly, May 25, 2010 @ 7:47 am
In France people do say ‘hello’ even to total strangers. When you are out for a walk and you pass someone it is normal to say ‘bonjour’. When you walk into a store 99% of the time you will be greeted with ‘bonjour madame/monsieur”
When I owned my store I had to explain to my staff that the tourists who didn’t respond weren’t being bed mannered but that it was not in their ‘culture’….this came as a big surprise to them. I had to explain that whereas in French and German and Spanish and Italian it is easy to say ‘hello’ and even add an acknowledgment of whether the person is male or female than it is in English. If you don’t know the person’s name in English it is hard to say “hello +….”
In fact I noticed that when a Brit came into the shop and was greeted s/he often looked embarrassed ‘is she talking to me…now what do I do?’ but the Americans always replied either with a cheery ‘bonjour’ or if they didn’t feel up to the french ‘hello.’
Of course there is a BIG exception….you can still hear polite Americans (kids and adults) use the English equivalent of ‘madame/monsieur’…sir/ma’am.
but the Brits would be confused by that! I used ‘sir’ once or twice over 25 years ago when I was temping on a switchboard at a luxury car company – I was asked if I was being ‘sarcky’ (sarcastic)
Small community/big community – the same applies – some people are polite some aren’t. I live in a village and believe me someone is more likely to make way for you on a crowded street in the city than on the narrow roads round here.
Oh, and when you leave a shop here they say ‘goodbye’ and don’t just chant ‘have a nice day’ without giving a tinker’s **** if you do or not!
By hilly, May 25, 2010 @ 8:08 am
Heidi…do you really think there was ever a time when everyone knew ‘right’ from ‘wrong’….!
If they did there would never have been wars; pogroms, lies and deceit, cruelty and inhumanity.
Kids only know what they are taught after all. and we get back to the question ‘who defines ‘right ‘ and ‘wrong’….
Some of you may have seen the video posted by EGPAF of Jake Glaser talking to the EGPAF staff in Washington…that’s a young man who understands right and wrong….unlike some self-appointed arbiters of morality who still lie about the use of condoms against AIDS.
You know what – I’d rather a dozen boisterous “ill-mannered kids” than one German liar in Rome
By hilly, May 25, 2010 @ 8:29 am
sorry that last remark was sour (not uncalled for – just sour!) I’ve just spent time with someone who had to sit and watch her daughter die slowly and in great pain because she (the daughter) had been totally taken over by her local priest who convinced her that to die with dignity was ‘immoral’! I can’t and won’t forgive that kind of callous cruelty
By Christine, May 25, 2010 @ 12:03 pm
Hi Heidi, Rach, and Hilly, I agree with you all on the courtesy thing. I don’t think it really matters where you are; its the individual that either decides to speak or not. Like Hilly said small/big community it depends on how polite that person is. Your comment Hilly, about the Sir/ma’am thing, years ago I worked on reception and had been trained to use those words, the American people always liked that, I even sometimes got a smile for the effort lol but the British? remembering I am British, they either tutted or complained. Maybe the geordie accent didn’t help either lol. Thankfully I wasn’t in the job for too long, I had a terrible habit of cutting the wrong person off on the switchboard! Way too many flashing bulbs, very confusing. Anyway wouldn’t it be nice if everyone thought along the same lines? It might just be a happier place to be.
Best wishes,
Christine.
By Christine, May 25, 2010 @ 12:30 pm
Just a thought, going back to my very first job, my boss had been trying to contact a man in America most of the day, so he walks into the office looks at the 3 of us and asks ‘which one of you is Chris?’ finally i thought I was on my way up the social ladder of this office so I smiled and said ‘me’ to which he replied ‘so you’re the idiot who keeps cutting my calls? Something tells me he could have been a little more polite lol.
By chavie, May 25, 2010 @ 3:08 pm
@Hilly… YOU are so right (see email).. Holy Mollllyy!!! This guy is REAL. Reviewed the uploads and re-read some stuff… I now TOTALLY believe in this guy!
By HILDA LIPRACE, May 25, 2010 @ 5:23 pm
QUERIDO PAUL:UNA PERSONA TIENE QUE TENER UN CAMBIO DE CONCIENCIA ,SE OBTIENE MEDIANTE LA ATENCIÓN Y OBSERVACIÓN DE NUESTROS ACTOS .SI MIRAMOS O PRESTAMOS ATENCIÓN A NUESTRO ALREDEDOR VEREMOS QUE OCURREN SUCESOS QUE ALERTAN AL SER HUMANO UN CAMBIO DE CONCIENCIA .EL MUNDO SE ESTA TRANSFORMANDO CADA VES MAS EVIDENTE ENTRE EL BIEN Y EL MAL.GENERADO POR LAS INTENCIONES DE LOS ACTOS DEL SER HUMANO .¿CUAL DE LOS DOS ESTA DOMINANDO ? CADA UNO TIENE UNA COMPRENSION DE ESTOS ASPECTOS,,POR UN LADO LAS INJUSTICIAS ,AMBICIÓN DE PODER,SOBERBIA,ENGAÑO.CORRUPCIÓN ,DOLOR.CARENCIA DE VALORES ESPIRITUALES ,DESINTERÉS POR LA PROPIA NATURALEZA Y HASTA EL PRÓJIMO.Y ESTÁN LOS OTROS QUE VALORAN LA VIDA ,SE FORMAN CON VALORES HUMANOS PARA EL BIEN COMÚN.CON NUESTROS MALOS ACTOS GENERAMOS UNA VIBRACION HOSTIL QUE AFECTA SOBREMANERA ,DICERNIMOS EL BIEN Y EL MAL POR MEDIO DE LA CONCIENCIA ,ES NUESTRA VOS INTERIOR LA QUE NOS AVISA DE NUESTRO PROCEDER.TENEMOS EL LIBRE ALBEDRÍO PARA HACER EL BIEN O EL MAL ,SI ACTUAMOS BIEN .LA VIDA NOS RESPONDERÁ ACERTADAMENTE..HAGAMOS UN CAMBIO EN NOSOTROS .NOTAR LA DIFERENCIA ,ESTE MUNDO QUIERE PAZ Y ENGLOBA TODO LO EXISTENTE .EL RESULTADO DEPENDE DE LO QUE HAGAMOSAQUÍ Y AHORA Y SERA PARA SIEMPRE .APRENDAMOS A OÍR NUESTRA CONCIENCIA ,QUE DE ELLA SALDRÁ BUENOS SENTIMIENTOS ,SI ESCUCHAMOS LA DEL BIEN ,SI ESCUCHAMOS LA OTRA SERA TODO UN CAOS .ES POR ESO QUE TENEMOS QUE ELEGIR EL BIEN .GRACIAS SEÑOR GLASER DIOS LO BENDIGA
HILDA
By heidi, May 26, 2010 @ 1:10 am
Hello fellow bloggers!! Thanks for your comments–you make me think too!
Rachelle, I liked your smiling face on your message. Living near Liverpool, we loved listening to the Beatles’ songs of love and peace when we were children. Pity wars are made in history—I agree with Mr. glaser about the war machines. People make money out of hurting others in wartime to line their own pockets.
Why can’t we all live in peace and love each other???Strange that everybody who speaks out for peace gets killed like the Kennedys, Martin luther King, John Lennon and Princess Diana who spoke out against manufacturers of land mines.
Would be nice to live in an ideal world where everybody got on well together!!!
As regards right and wrong for children to learn, well nowadays, I keep hearing cases of very young children hurting each other. When we were children, we would never have dreamt of hurting another child or human being!!! Our teachers and television influenced our morals.
In Westerns, we looked up to the heroes like gary Cooper or audie MUrphy and we learnt who the good guys or bad guys were.
On television now, we haven’t got such good serials anymore promoting love of family or fellow human beings.
Greetings to Hilly and Christine and everyone reading this comment!!
By heidi, May 26, 2010 @ 1:31 am
Does anybody remember a T.V serial called “THe MOnroes”? We loved watching that. It showed how children and teenagers helped each other in the wilderness after losing their parents and a Native american helped them. Ron Soble played that part.
By hilly, May 26, 2010 @ 1:34 am
I go with that last long comment Heidi except for one thing…if you think Diana Princess of Wales did anything that wasn’t designed to get attention to herself you were as fooled as 80% of the rest of the world! On the other hand the ‘collateral good’ that came from her fan
following had some value.
hahaha yes I remember the Monroes – I’d forgotten them until you mentioned them..
By chavie, May 26, 2010 @ 6:01 am
“if you think Diana Princess of Wales did anything that wasn’t designed to get attention to herself you were as fooled as 80% of the rest of the world!”
I agree with you Hilly (as usual)
By Rachelle, May 26, 2010 @ 6:10 am
Hi Heidi
Very nicely said. It would be lovely if we could all live in peace no matter our differences – that we can all accept one another and forgive one another. One of my favorite sayings is ‘be the change you want to see in this world’. It takes work daily! Ps glad you liked the smile.
Christine – I agree with you. A smile and a greeting could be the difference in someone’s day. Uh sorry to hear about your first boss by the way. lol
Hilly – That’s good that in France people still greet each other. In Canada it’s a very friendly nation, but it’s rushed at times.
Happy Wed, Rach
By Rachelle, May 26, 2010 @ 6:16 am
Ps as for T.V. a couple of my favorite family shows are ‘Little House’ and ‘The Andy Griffith Show’. I know they’re not today’s fast paced TV shows, but were wonderful family programs. I would have my family watch them today.
By Christine, May 26, 2010 @ 8:41 am
Hi Rach, Was that ‘little house on the prairie?’ by any chance?. If it was my goodness we are going back a bit. It was shown here in England on a Sunday morning and you could almost guarantee that you would be crying into your Sunday lunch. Michael Landon always seemed to be crying in that show, he was very good at it. Funny thing is everyone used to say it was a depressing show and yet people always came back for more. I am now waayyyyyyyyy off topic, sorry, hey Rach we are getting old lol.
Best wishes,
Christine. xx
By Christine, May 26, 2010 @ 8:58 am
Oh one last thing on tv shows remember ‘Highway to heaven?. Michael Landon was in that too and guess what? nine times out of ten that made us cry too!. Thank goodness ‘Starsky and Hutch’ came along to brighten up our lives. From now on I will try to stick to the topic…… honest!
Christine xx
By Rachelle, May 26, 2010 @ 9:44 am
Hi Christine – you’re so right I’m referring to ‘Little House On The Prairie’. I thought that show was so excellent in showing the importance of family and friendship. Plus faith.*g* All my favorite programs are from the 70′s (okay a couple from 1950/1960 as well). I do remember ‘Highway to Heaven’. In regards to S&H I’m sure you agree that ‘Starsky and Hutch’ was well acted with the storylines given…..Well back on topic we go.*g* LOL!! They’re used to us by now.*g*
Back to work I go from break, Rach
By Sarah Levy, May 26, 2010 @ 10:23 am
Paul,
Your first paragraph made me think. It can be frustrating to put forward ideas, and beliefs, knowing that not everyone will understand them completely. However, something that has struck me about this blog is this…sometimes the readers of it will totally get what you are saying, some don’t but will absorb what you’ve said, mull it over and then understand. There are also some who will never ‘get it’ but even when that happens, it’s still got them thinking, discussing, and maybe going off on a tangent. However, those tangents can sometimes lead to other interesting ideas, so I believe it’s all good. The blog gets people thinking about things they may not have done if they hadn’t read it.
Kind Regards,
Sarah.
By Sarah Levy, May 26, 2010 @ 10:51 am
Christine,
I laughed at your post regarding the boss asking who Chris was. That was so funny.
Sarah
By Christine, May 26, 2010 @ 11:53 am
Hi Sarah, I agree with you, Paul’s blog does get us all talking; even if sometimes its so off topic!!. I love to read what Paul has to say and yes, I’m one of those who has to mull it over lol. I don’t always fully understand the comments first time round, re-reading is great because sooner or later the penny will drop. Or even sometimes I will be out shopping still thinking about the blog and it will fit into place, only problem with that is I then forget what I needed in the supermarket.
As for my first boss, years later I ran into him and he still said I was the worst office junior he’d ever had, what can I say? the man was full of charm lol.
By Terri, May 26, 2010 @ 5:59 pm
Hi Christine,Your boss story made me smile. He may think you were the worst but apparently the most memorable. I think that counts for something. Terri
By heidi, May 27, 2010 @ 1:18 am
It is true that we do not use the brain to its full extent. It is such a complicated thing–part of the mysteries of the universe–we don’t understand it fully nor do the doctors.
People in comas can hear what goes on round them. Why?
It has always been a wonder to me how our bodies shut down at night and we sleep and then wake up in the mornings or people cat nap during the daytime. How does that work? Why do we have dreams or nightmares?
One famous Spanish writer once wrote
” La vida es sueno
y los suenos suenos son”
translated roughly as
“Life is a dream
and dreams are only illusions”
So what is the truth and what is reality??
Makes you think ,doesn’t it?
By heidi, May 27, 2010 @ 1:30 am
One last thing about Princess Diana–we liked her. Think her heart was in the right place. I saw how children and all types of people went to her and she accepted them. We always said that children and animals can sense whether a person is kind or not so she passed the test.
By Christine, May 27, 2010 @ 2:29 am
Hi Heidi, It is true that when you are in a coma, you do still hear what is going on around you. This happened to me, I was in a diabetic coma for just over two weeks. I think at first depending how deeply you are in the coma,it takes a while for the brain to start to ‘look out’ for familiar sounds etc. I know for sure that there were a few days just before I came out of it that I could hear those around me, the music that they were playing to try to stimulate that part of the brain that recognises a favourite song/tune. Problem was I could hear them but was totally unable to let them know, my mind was working if not pretty foggy (some would say as normal lol)before my body could open my eyes or raise a hand to say ‘hey I’m still here!’. They often say that the hearing is the last to go and I would agree with that. Its an interesting experience being in a coma; but not one I would like to repeat lol.
Best Wishes,
Christine.
By Christine, May 27, 2010 @ 2:39 am
Hi Terri, Memorable yes, but for all the wrong reasons lol, funny I really got on well with all the office staff; just I was so bad at the job!!.
Best wishes, Christine.
By hilly, May 27, 2010 @ 3:53 am
sorry to disappoint you Heidi but I knew someone who knew Diana long before she got what she wanted (Charles – she said so at an early age) she was always selfish and self-centred but the UK press needed to create a fairy tale….and she was dim enough to believe her own publicity
I don’t decry that good was done because of her activities but as I said it was ‘collateral good’…not of her own volition.
I know millions thought she was wonderful; it’s just that I don’t and now you know why
By hilly, May 27, 2010 @ 3:54 am
PS Hitler was good with kids an animals too…which kind of undermines your last point
By hilly, May 27, 2010 @ 3:57 am
Coming back to the point of this blog….I’m reading a marvellous book at the moment. ‘Night Train to Lisbon’ there are passages that remind me of some of the ways Paul seems to be thinking. I recommend it. I can’t quote exactly (haven’t got the book with me) but one passage says something along the lines of “Life is what our mind thinks it is”…I played that idea over and over in my mind…and my mind decided to think that life is a very complicated concept. Off to ponder the real questions not whether or not an idol has clay feet or not
By PamT, May 27, 2010 @ 8:50 am
“If the mind can’t ‘know’ something, (it being one of its favorite ways of ‘Doing’ in order to support its pursuit of immortality…or at least the illusion of immortality), it has a vast supply of weapons to deal with the unknown. At any time it can see it as horrible and dark and deathful, exotic and mysterious, sometimes benevolent, and an ethereal spirituality to be adorned with all the gilt of honor, tradition, belief, philosophy and magic. It can defend against it with rage; rage at one’s self (read: ‘helplessness’: most commonly experienced as depression), hate, anger, killing, owning, controlling, obsessing, forgetting, DENYING any experience of the fear that always creeps in from the unknown.
Doesn’t it just! Re-reading this paragraph today, it hit home with renewed force. Over the years, although perhaps a little less so in the present, I have vacillated between some of these states of mind and strategies …. with the exception of killing, I hasten to add!
Sarah: Well said. Speaking from experience, even writing about relatively bland and trivial topics for a mass target audience can sometimes be tricky enough, let alone communicating the concepts with which Paul gets to grips. In my view, these concepts do offer up an alternative, enlightened way of ‘being’, but they are not necessarily the easiest to convey and can sit outside someone’s accustomed way of thinking or already-established belief system. On an entirely different level, I’m also involved in qualitative market research from time to time, where the in-depth opinions of small focus groups are sought on various business initiatives. More than a few interesting group dynamics arise, but one particularly noticeable aspect is how differently respondents can react when presented with the same proposition – from the degrees of comprehension to the attitudes expressed. One person might cotton on to a concept immediately, whereas another doesn’t; one perceives some copy to be over-familiar, another sees it as friendly and approachable; one tunes in to an advertising campaign, whereas it leaves another cold. I’m by no means drawing any sort of direct comparison between what PMG has to share and the subjects of commercially-driven research. What interests me is the significant extent to which people’s perceptions and reactions can vary when presented with the very same concept. It’s a truly Herculean task to please all of the people, all of the time.
Christine: Your office story raised a smile for me too. Perhaps look at it this way, your ability to get on with people may well have served you far better over the years than being a whizz on a switchboard! Your coma experience sounds incredibly scary.
On the subject of Diana, she was actively involved in many charitable causes – something of an established tradition within the Royal Family, so you might be forgiven for saying “So what?” What I view as being particularly telling were her choices of charities (and I think that she would have primarily decided upon those herself). More specifically, in the late 80s she was one of the first (if not the absolute first) UK high-profile ‘celebrity’ to be publicly photographed making deliberate physical contact with a person suffering from AIDS. To put this into context, this was at a time when the fires of stigmatization and prejudice were fully ablaze and being further fuelled by the media. So her decision had the potential to be highly controversial. I happen to think her action was very much of her own volition and I’d suggest that she deserves a fair amount of credit for this alone. (Incidentally, Harry has subsequently set up Sentebale, which operates in Lesotho.) I’m extremely loathe to judge and categorise Diana as either a heroine or a villain. She was a human being, complete with failings – as we all are. And just for the record, I don’t consider myself to be either a Royalist or naïve (in fact, probably verging towards the opposite in both cases). Anyway, most definitely off-topic, so this will be my one and only comment on this particular subject-matter.
Wishing all well.
PamT
By heidi, May 28, 2010 @ 1:32 am
Enjoyed reading all your comments. Thanks Christine for sharing your experience. When my dad was unconscious, he could hear what I was saying too.
Good that we are all different and can express our views here. Still think that meditation works in contemplation of nature.
What do you all think about the saying “Home is where the heart is”?
By hilly, May 28, 2010 @ 8:06 am
What do you all think about the saying “Home is where the heart is”?
….is happy.
LOL I have moved house so often I once said that home was were my underwear in the same drawer for more than 6 months!
Home… is it a concept or a ‘fact’. I have never felt comfortable with people using the word to describe a building. “a luxury home for sale” etc. What’s wrong with ‘house’/'apartment’ etc. (and I loathe ‘facility’ instead of “hospital/residential home”….ah that’s one usage where ‘home’ seems appropriate to me!)
And what about those two icky (and in most senses totally impossible) expressions ‘housewife’….when did you ever meet a woman who married a house?! and ‘home-maker’…do they mean ‘mom’ or the builder?
Home is a place to come back to…we all have computers, we all use a ‘homepage’ somewhere! Home is a place of refuge. At least in an ideal world; but is no place of safety for the abused.
Home is somewhere to withdraw to; where you can protect your privacy and draw your breath before confronting the day-to-day obstacles of life.
Home is where the heart is comfortable, happy, content, secure.
Home just might be a state of mind.
Here we go again.
By Christine, May 28, 2010 @ 11:06 am
Hi Heidi, Home is where the heart is?. I would agree with that, although I think the actual ‘home’ from a millionaire’s mansion to a council tenant really makes no odds; home is where you feel or should feel safe and secure. Where the love of your life is (if you have one!). Home can also be that place in the mind where we escape to when things get rough. I know sometimes when I stress out I tend to go there just for a bit of peace. Don’t you think that in life we tend to dwell too much on the things we don’t have rather than be grateful for what we do have. Its seems to be that we always want more, a bigger house, expensive car etc when there are people all over the world who would be happy just being us. You know what they say….. the grass is always greener!. It doesn’t matter where you go on holiday there is never a better feeling than going to sleep back in your own bed, home sweet home.
Best Wishes,
Christine.
By Christine, May 28, 2010 @ 11:15 am
Or maybe ‘home’ is where your heart wants to be? It just hasn’t worked out the right direction to go in? just a thought, nice one though.
By PamT, May 28, 2010 @ 11:18 am
For me, home is not necessarily a physical location. It’s wherever you feel you belong. It’s where you are both the giver and receiver of love.
Meditating on nature is interesting. My feeling is that the contemplation of nature is one of the states where we can more easily feel our connection to the universe; to all that is. And the absence of man-made distractions can make it easier.
“If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.”
Having said that, around my way this time of year sometimes sees the unexpected and massive presence of a hot-air balloon looming into close view from behind some trees. Quite a sight in itself, but one which scares the **** out of the dog, who immediately legs it. It kind of interrupts the moment …..
Wishing all well.
PamT
By Christine, May 28, 2010 @ 11:31 am
Hi Pam T, Funnily enough I never felt scared when I was in the coma. Maybe the fogginess of the brain kept the ‘fear’ at bay or the fact that they had me on so much medication.
The not being able to ask for a cuppa tea for a while now that really bugged me!! I was dreaming about cold drinks at the finish, and teapots, but its pretty hard to drink when you are attached to a ventilator just to keep the breaths coming lol.
Best wishes,
Christine
By Rachelle, May 28, 2010 @ 11:39 am
Hi Heidi – I like the saying “Home is where the heart is”. For me it’s a memory or place where unconditional love is. It’s not a building, although my childhood home was a lovely rancher.*g* I’m just sayin’…. I have many good memories of friends and family during my childhood so that’s one place I associate the saying with. Plus of course my memories I have with family now, too.
Nicely said Pam T by the way!
Happy Friday Paul, Pam and everyone. Woo hoo TGIF! Oh my hearts with Friday too.
By MoriaDole, May 28, 2010 @ 12:34 pm
Pmg,
Isn’t thought (the mind) another manifestation of the infinity of being? Thought is endless. So is the energy behind it. Without thoughts or the brain, emotions and feelings don’t exist. That is why I have trouble understanding statements or lines of rationale which advocate the suspension of thinking in order to feel, to know, or to absorb the sensations that define us. It seems a real contradiction to me. It would be nice if you could explain it. Other people tend to jump in to answer questions addressed to you, but I’m specifically asking for your explanation and nobody else’s, if you would be so kind.
By T, May 28, 2010 @ 1:44 pm
The last paragraph was profoundly beautiful to me. Thank you, Paul.
By zephie, May 28, 2010 @ 10:19 pm
I also find it hard to wrap my mind around the idea of separating thought from sensuality in my daily experiences. It’s like, the triggers for sensual enjoyment are linked to the mind. When you eat good pizza or hear that one song that evokes sadness or happiness, nostalgia or that warm tingle of something you once felt or lived but can’t quite pull out of your subconscious, those reactions come from the mind. The idea of something inside you so much a part of you that you don’t need to explain or name it pops into being, and it’s as real to you as if you were reliving it or “re-attaching” to that moment. Or place. Or feeling. Only you are able to do that because your mind links the subconscious thoughts or energy to the conscious feelings of pleasure or pain or fear. Trying to overthink or over analyze the process is what makes things confusing. When you spend so much time and effort trying to make sense of it all, what you’re experiencing at that moment, instead of just letting it all wash over you without any need to categorize things or make them fit into neat little boxes always seemed to be the “trick” of it. When you’re so caught up in figuring out why the scent of, say, jasamine reminds you of lazy Sunday afternoons or fresh-mowed grass being four years old eating an ice-cream cone on the veranda, you miss out on the moment of well-being and happiness that moment offers. But on the other hand, if you have a bad cold or allergies to the extent that you can’t smell the new-mown grass, but you hear the lawnmower, your mind can remind you that you should be able to smell the scent of it even when your senses fail you, and you can still experience those remembered sensations as if you actually did catch a whiff of that fragrance. They work together, I thought. The senses trigger the mind and the mind trigger the senses until the sum total of existing is learning to allow the two to work together or enhance each other without trying to separate them or tell yourself one is more significant than the other.
By MoriaDole, May 29, 2010 @ 12:19 am
Mind/body/soul: keeping that circle strong and unbroken is the only way I–personally–can achieve the balance necessary to maintain peace, serenity, and enjoyment of all aspects of the world around me…all itks facets, all it has to offer.
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 12:32 am
I’ve got to admit, when ever I try to either stop thinking so much to go with my feelings or think things out so precisely that I don’t consider my emotions or senses, life seems so much more complicated and overwhelming. Everything seems off, out of kilter.
By heidi, May 29, 2010 @ 12:37 am
My word, I was really impressed by all the beautiful words and thoughts of all of you. You could all be poets!!!
Home for me is where I grew up–If I go home,looking over the valley and lakes and moors gives me such a sense of peace and well-being inside me. But it brings some sadness as well because I think of loved ones and good friends who have passed away.
Some people get bored in the country and miss city life but the nature and Mother Earth are always changing showing us the heartbeat of life itself.
Yesterday, I admired the beautiful blossoms on the cherry trees –lovely colours set against a bright, blue sky however they don’t last long–the wind blows all the petals away in a few days. Good to see all the flowers and bushes in bloom for Spring.!
Years ago, when I was teaching in Spain, I was surprised to see that people in my class thought that doctors or politicians had the most important jobs in our society. Of course, they play their parts in our lives but here is a big thank-you to all the farmers and people who work on the land… They put the food on our tables and keep us alive. Don’t think we always appreciate their work but they are important for our survival!!!
Now that is food for thought.
By MoriaDole, May 29, 2010 @ 12:42 am
Exactly! “Home” for me is that “place” where I feel I’m being most true to myself emotionally, spiritually, mentally, intellectually, and psychologically. You know. That point of being who you are as you are without feeling that you must somehow change yourself in order to fit the so-called mold.
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 12:50 am
Which can be especially hard in our current times, when the rule-of-thumb is so often go-with-the-flow and don’t-rock-the-boat!
By MoriaDole, May 29, 2010 @ 12:56 am
…And no matter what, don’t even think of using the brains God gave you!
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 1:03 am
*GASP!* Heaven forbid! You wanna bring on the apocalypse or something!?
By noia29, May 29, 2010 @ 1:10 am
LOL!!!!
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 1:26 am
NOIA! Omigod! Is that really you? Where have you been? How have you been? I’ve thought about you so many times!
By noia29, May 29, 2010 @ 2:05 am
Zephie,
I am fine, thank you for asking: back in the good ol’ U.S., visiting my home state for the first time in over a decade. How strange it is to again find myself here amid the mosquitoes and alligators, fighting the plumes of constant heat as the drama/nightmare of this Gulf oil spill unfolds. To see the damage ensuing, all the while dreading the degree of destruction that could still feasibly take place is humbling. It brings to mind, unfortunately, images of Katrina, even though I couldn’t then bring myself to venture “home” to face that horror. It is all unspeakably awful for those family members who first endured that upheaval, many of them only to fall victim to the Chinese drywall fiasco (which added further misery and distress to the brave ones who opted to return and rebuild) only to face the destruction of so much of our coastlands. In any event, I found myself logging on from sheer curiosity after an enlightening conversation with one of my relatives (who has, incidently, continued to battle for her life due to those medical issues I detailed in our last email….) Actually, is your address the one I used previously? I would love to talk in more detail–perhaps catch up. I have learned of many fascinating events recently. Quite fascinating, in fact, if not outright unbelievable!
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 2:13 am
Since I’ve changed jobs (I got that promotion, by the way) I never use the hotmail account. It’s been so long since I bothered with it that it may be closed by now! Why don’t I just log off here and contact you from my work account?
By noia29, May 29, 2010 @ 2:25 am
That sounds like an absolutely marvelous plan, Zephie. I am, therefore, signing off here and logging on to the “live.com” site. I look forward to “catching up” with you there.
N.
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 2:45 am
Oh!
Good night/good morning to you, Moria. I enjoyed your comments and observations. They were reassuring in many ways. Also I hope you get the answers to the questions you asked before. I’d be intereste to hear what Mr. Glaser might have to say on that topic as well.
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 2:56 am
Oh (again!) It’s funny. I thought the same thing you did about that (Perchik’s) line from Fiddler on the Roof, Moria, but I didn’t have the courage to say it for fear of sounding stupid, so I’m really glad you said something about it! (I thought I was remembering it wrongly.)
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 5:11 am
Moira,
I just finished an eye-opening conversation and it led me to think more specifically about the questions you’ve raised and the observations you offered. I’ve actually got to admit my mind is racing with a whole new set of questions of my own, a new way of considering the ideas I encountered in this last post (“Home.”)
To what extent could the notion of the mind or thinking as an anathema to feeling (or experiencing) life evolve from denial or the need to hide from certain unpleasant realizations about yourself or the way you process the daily challenges of life? I mean, does the need to separate the workings of the mind from the act of feeling emotion or appreciating sensations stem from a subconscious longing to absolve yourself from or avoid the sting of guilt? Often the notion of denial comes up in these discussions. Isn’t placing the importance of the senses above or far away from the value of thinking or intellect a way of detaching from a really vital part of human existence? Not facing certain aspects of yourself or your character that make you uneasy? Leave you feeling inadequate or confused? Can compartmentalizing the two as opposing forces, concepts, become a kind of self-protection against having to accept certain motives? Recognize specific fears? Like running from a situation or personal connection when a fear of getting hurt or being somehow betrayed or exposed by trust or friendship or love or vulnerability well up from some internal spring of past experience, disillusionment? Or abandoning someone suffering or in need because to stick by them, get involved with them would mean facing unaddressed fears or unattended pain? Is it easier to just tell yourself “don’t think, don’t question, just feel” as a means of self-preservation or avoiding unpleasantness? Or your past? Or even your deepest insecurities or fears?
Sometimes, if there’s something we feel that the mind can’t understand or control, doesn’t that “something” represent a part of ourselves or our characters that we can’t yet (or are as yet unwilling to) face? Might it be a part of some internal conflict brought about when the subconscious recognizes some thing, some reaction, some behavior that the conscious just can’t or doesn’t want to accept? Feelings that lead to the recognition of monsters or demons inside your own heart or mind or soul that frighten or repulse you? That you are afraid to acknowledge, identify, name?
Wouldn’t it, couldn’t it (accepting that your mind “can’t feel” or somehow stands as an obstacle between yourself and the ability to experience life) become a slippery slope into distancing yourself from important, necessary human experiences like compassion, understanding, personal growth?
A recent discussion now has me wondering. Especially about identifying or existing beside, in harmony or peace with, the concept of “your truth.” In light of what I’ve learned/heard, what I’ve just had cause to examine, I can’t help but delve deeper into the notion of personal and individual motivations in living, feeling, thinking, and existing. And as I do, I find myself going back over points you brought up, seeing them in a completely different light, and hoping that you will be given answers to the specific questions you raised.
I would be very interested to hear those responses.
Zephie
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 5:16 am
Moria,
I apologize. Above I accidentally misspelled your name!
Z.
By MoriaDole, May 29, 2010 @ 6:15 am
Zephie…,
Intriguing.
Most intruguing!
I must admit, my interest is well and truly piqued.
(“Curiouser and curiouser!” as Alice once so aptly observed.)
~Moriandra
By hilly, May 29, 2010 @ 9:13 am
Sometimes, if there’s something we feel that the mind can’t understand or control, doesn’t that “something” represent a part of ourselves or our characters that we can’t yet (or are as yet unwilling to) face?
yes, I’m sure it does. And our toughest task may be not only to recognise its existence but to identify it, face it and confront it.
I’d love to have been a fly on the wall of the conversation that led you to this Zephie…or in the light of Moriandra’s perfect quote…a caterpillar on a mushroom!
We are, in some way, each our individual truth. Our “authenticity” lies in our capacity to read our own minds. “If you could read my mind, what a tale my thoughts would tell.” We exist in our imagination, our concept of who we are and where we fit in. We learn to adapt our concepts of that in order to ‘fit’ the rest of the world, the paradigms that others have set for us – generation that went before invented for us. And as we come to question their values (for better for worse)…and I believe we should question them constantly, challenge them and rewrite them for our evolving society…then we have to rethink ourselves.
We move forward: “I never imagined I would be….”
“but I ended up (fill in the word you read into ” that ellipsis) and now I have to rethink myself in the situation in question.
perhaps that is how we can sense of our lives; confront those bugaboos (fear/taboo/disappointment etc) and formulate our tactic for moving on – imagine out next move.
By Christine, May 29, 2010 @ 10:24 am
Hi Paul and fellow bloggers, I have spent the last couple of days with two friends of mine, we’ve discussed all kinds of things and the really interesting thing is just how much time we spend as humans worrying and reaching back into our past to want to change/wipe out the bad parts. Ok we have established that the ‘mind’ doesn’t feel, having said that without the brains ability to hold onto the memories we have we wouldn’t ‘feel’ those feelings. You know it would appear that no matter what your attitude to life there will always be someone who disagree’s with you. Try to ‘focus’ on the here and now and people accuse you of blocking out your past in order to be so positive. Why?. Why can’t a person deal with their past and then say ‘ok enough we need to focus on a new start’. What tends to be forgotten is that we are all individuals and we will all react, think, and live by what is ‘true’ to ourselves. If you can go to bed at night with a clear conscience, knowing you have tried to be a decent human being it really doesn’t get much better. The problem is this world is turning more and more selfish and many people see themselves as first, second and third on the list of importance.
What we can do, is to focus our minds on things that reaffirm and bring us to a more peacefull place. The more we do it, the better we remember to do it the next time. by Pmg
This paragraph was really quite beautiful. ‘Thank you’ Paul for the words are so true I am trying to learn to maybe ‘focus’ more. You know try to let go of all the stuff that floats around our heads and just try to be.
My friends often say to me that there is only one of me I can’t possibly be/do everything all the time, and yet all of us rush around and cram as much into a day as we can and then we wonder why we feel so tired!!.
Just one more thing, a few people have mentioned Princess Diana. I have to say I liked her. Not that I knew her personally but I do think that she was a good person. The thing was she had that much media attention on her, maybe sometimes she used it to her advantage, but she did do a lot of good. As with other public figures/celebrities there was so much said and written about her that I often used to wonder just how happy she really was, a priviledged life? yes, but was it a happy life?.
With love as always,
Christine xx
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 10:42 am
Moriandra,
Trust me, my head is still reeling! Unbelievable! Last night a jaw-dropping series of emailed revelations has me pouring over the subjects of this blogs, contemplating what I read in a whole new light altogether. It’s changed the way I see things, view individuals (and the agendas that can lurk inside those we think we understand) for ever. Oy! Although it isn’t my “story” to tell, it is a both a troubling and revealing one but I am glad to have had the conversation. Everyday heroes really do exist all around us. People who live those miracles we read about or hear about long after-the-fact, survive, and manage to keep going in spite of it all. Also (existing) are stark reminders that appearances can be frighteningly deceptive. It really highlights the heights and depths of the human psyche. And the degrees to which we flawed human beings go to hide from our failings and ourselves, whether we recognize that’s what we’re actually doing or not..
Unbelievable.
Talk about stunned. I never would have imagined! Not in a billion years. Determination and the triumph of the human spirit, even in the face of death and suffering are remarkable, maybe even beautiful examples of the glory and magic of this thing, Life, we all share.
Z.
By hilly, May 29, 2010 @ 11:26 am
‘the agendas that lurk…’
most of them are imagined by the reader/observer/listener!
We read into the words/actions of others because we use our own agendas – our reference points of the mind – to interpret what we see.
Religious upbringing (indoctrination?); literary tastes; favourite colours…whatever. All of them influence how we see them. One person sees ‘the Last Supper’ with a group of men (and one much maligned woman) sitting at a table….
Take ‘The Last Supper’…some of you see Jesus predicting his death and creating the ritual that will be the basis christian ceremony.
Others among us see a group of young Jews celebrating a traditional Shabes meal…and most likely the Passover Seder. How you see it is a reflection of the ‘cultural conditioning’ that set your agenda…but only ichelangelo knew what his agenda was when he painted it (probably the money he would get when he finished it)
If you have read ‘Ways of Seeing’ you know what I mean.
By MoriaDole, May 29, 2010 @ 11:28 am
Hmmmm, Zephie. We have here what appear to be elements of a bona fide mystery. Sounds enthralling, to say the least….
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 11:37 am
Oh, totally, Moriandra. Totally!
By MoriaDole, May 29, 2010 @ 11:48 am
I repeat, Zephie: “Curiouser and curiouser!” Then curiouser still!
By MoriaDole, May 29, 2010 @ 12:01 pm
I must, however, add (if I am reading you accurately, Zephie) your point is a valid (and sobering) one. So much of our “soul searching” does prove itself self-serving in the end. We enter into discussions, fully convinced within ourselves we recognize our own motives and objectives–as well as those of others–just to find ourselves later admitting “truths” which prove pretty startling: be they about ourselves or others. And quite frequently the catalysts for those discoveries are explorations into the “heroic” stories of those facing (even overcoming) that which we ourselves would find unfathomable. Insurmountable, even.
By zephie, May 29, 2010 @ 12:56 pm
In this particular case, the “hero” of the saga is trying hard to get down the rough draft of her life story before it is too late. And what a life it’s been. It’s been so unbelievable (I keep using that word because I can’t think, right now, of another) that it has to be broken down into five or six different volumes. Chronicles of a life. I’ve only been told about the unfolding story, am reading part of the rough draft of the manuscript. I absolutely have to meet this lady. And I’m hoping she’ll be able to finish her work in spite of the situations pressed in on her!
By hilly, May 30, 2010 @ 1:49 am
but of course it is “self” serving;how else can we explore our ideas and our relationship with others if we don’t discuss? In serving our ‘self’ we are serving our existence. The truly ‘selfish’ thing to do is to assume that we don’t need to interact with others in order to work ourselves out.
Zeph….I want to know more too!
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 6:06 am
Great post, Christine.
One paragraph I picked up on, because it’s about a subject I have struggled with many times, is the following one;
‘My friends often say to me that there is only one of me I can’t possibly be/do everything all the time, and yet all of us rush around and cram as much into a day as we can and then we wonder why we feel so tired!!.’
It is very hard to stand by and not help others in need, or to not give to every that asks for it. I used to feel so very guilty for not being able to do so. However, I’ve come to the conclusion that it is far better to decide to help a few good causes (maybe just one if that is all you are able to do) and help them well, than spread yourself thinly or run yourself ragged, to the point where you are unable to help anyone. Once you accept that you cannot help everyone, it is a huge relief and allows you to concentrate your energies on doing a good job when helping chosen charities or good causes.
Of course, it is inevitable that there will be times when a close friend or a family member suddenly needs you. That is different. BUT…we are human. Not ‘superhuman’, so please don’t beat yourself up about not being able to be there for everyone.
Best Wishes,
Sarah
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 6:11 am
Some really great posts about ‘where home is’. There are places I go to, some physically and some in my mind, where I feel that I am ‘at home’. When I’m at those places, I feel myself breathe a huge sigh of relief and suddenly feel that all is right with life.
By hilly, May 30, 2010 @ 6:14 am
….I’ve come to the conclusion that it is far better to decide to help a few good causes (maybe just one if that is all you are able to do) and help them well, than spread yourself thinly or run yourself ragged, to the point where you are unable to help anyone. Once you accept that you cannot help everyone, it is a huge relief and allows you to concentrate your energies on doing a good job when helping chosen charities or good causes.
too true. I would add that I only give to charities that I know 2 things about: 1 that the money collected is not wasted on unnecessary spending (of course they need paid staff and premises…but not chauffeur driven cars!) 2: the work is done because it needs to be done; because it brings relief (physical; financial depending on the cause) not because those running it think that they are going to get to heaven.
I also exclude showy and meaningless political gestures…boycotts may hurt the target but they do nothing to help the victims!
By Christine, May 30, 2010 @ 9:03 am
Hi Sarah, Thank you. As for causes I think most of us do what we can to help depending on our finances and the amount of actual free time people have these days. I always think wouldn’t it be better if we all could give a little and the pounds/dollars would begin to mount up. I think the only thing I personally find hard to cope with is the people who knock on your door and you find yourself having to explain why you can’t give x amount a month to their cause. Please understand I know they do a great job, but its like what you were saying you can’t help everyone no matter how much you would like to.
It doesn’t stop you feeling bad about it though.
As for time spent with friends/family the interesting thing about that is that no matter how busy you happen to be there is always that feeling of ‘I should be able to make time for him/her/them’. Its really hard for us to say ‘no’ isn’t it?. Having said that I am so fortunate to have some great friends who lead such busy lives yet always make time for me so I guess we all just do the best we can. I suppose its a case of just being grateful for the people you have around you in your life.
Best wishes,
Christine xx
By MoriaDole, May 30, 2010 @ 11:08 am
Zephie,
I really and sincerely hope the writer is successful in reaching the goal in the time allotted. History, as we define it, is an odd concept, isn’t it? Years–even centuries after-the-fact–history attempts to attach significance to actions and events (from a distance; in hindsight) by whittling away all but those sparse, specifically-chosen tidbits of a great life or individual. Usually based on the current attitudes, social leanings of the times even though the knowledge to be gained from the life lived transcends those factors. How strange that it’s easy to forget that those so-called great moments (or the great figures responsible for them) in history are actually real people living in the real world accomplishing extraordinary feats simply by making extraordinary decisions in the face of extraordinary circumstances. They are living, breathing people; and the opportunity to learn from or get to know them while they still exist among the living is one that is often underestimated…and, therefore, wasted. I would hope, given the possibility of a “too late,” you would be afforded some chance to meet this lady and be a part of her story or history as it’s happening. How often, after all, does a person get to connect with someone “great” while that individual is accomplishing “great” things rather than simply reading about their lives after the fact?
~Moriandra
By valerie, May 30, 2010 @ 11:19 am
Hi Paul,
It’s great to read you again.
great thanks to you to share your thoughts about meditation. I pratique meditation too and it’s difficult to share what I feel. It’s my secret garden (lol) and my haven of peace. I thank you to share this part of you with us. I think that we have to take advantage of the best moments that the life offers us and especially to take advantage of those that we love.
I’m impatient to read your book. About book, it is available ? in france too ?
Have a lovely evening
see you soon
Kisses from france
valerie
♥•.¸♥¸.•*´ ¨`*•.¸~☺☺♥♥♥♥☺♥☺♥♥♥♥
¸♥ .•*´¨`*•.♥♥♥♥♥¸.•*´ ¨`*•.¸~☺☺♥♥♥♥
By zephie, May 30, 2010 @ 12:36 pm
Moriandra,
I pray that I will too.
We (you and I) have got to figure out a way to continue this discussion off site. On the one hand, it’s ironically appropos the subject. On the other it isn’t appropriate by any means, even if this site was the vehicle that brought this whole thing to the forefront. Obviously it is impossible to say many thing here though.
These things I’m reading, hearing now have taught me so much. Especially about the difference between talk and action. Many of us talk about what we should or could do in a “pinch.”. You never let it sink in, the actual costs of not just doing it, but making the most of your life while you’re doing so. You also don’t want to think about the costs in human relationships, either. Take for granted that if you were in the kind of situation that demanded those “extraordinary” measures, the ones you love or admire or trust most would rise to the occasion. Stand by you. Specifically when so much is at stake. It’s scary to face the possibility that if you literally found yourself in the fight of your life that might not be the case. I can’t imagine what it would be like to have heard the words and ideals of somebody you believed in, trust them (and their motives) just to find out (when everything you are or have’s actually on the line) they don’t really practice what they so loudly advocate. Now I find myself honestly admitting how many times I sit around telling myself and other people what I think, I believe instead of living up to those ideas every day. You read about someone facing these kinds of unbelievable journeys and would like to visualize a world where others would rally around. Just out of basic compassion and human decency. But, when being honest, the clues around us indicate that this is more often the erxception than the rule, doesn’t it? We want to believe that the “good guys” in life are really just that. Good. Not perfect or unflawed but genuine in their motives and actions, not egotical and artificial, driven by agendas or fears they cover up rather than face. It’s a blow to face the possibility of making those typesd of discoveries just when life has thrown at you the blows that leave you in every way unable (if only for the moment) to withstand the force of their impact. It’s enough to terrify the life out of you. Then you come face-to-face with somebody who is not only living and surviving it (somebody who’s a real person you’d encounter in your own backyard under regular circumstances, cavalierly welcome into your home) but bringing something real and insightful to the table. Giving you that chance to also mature and grow. You think “if they can do all this in spite of the odds, how much could I accomplish if I tried?” It’s life-changing. Inspiring.
Still I am learning a whole lot about true character and character. “True grits,” to quote the lady herself. And about the realities of making the transition from “talking” to “doing” or “being. (Not to mention some real common sense must-knows about navigating medicine and health care in today’s world.)
Mainly, though, I’m getting a real lesson in looking past the facades to the nature of the character beneath.
Home, I’m finding, is a really simple concept. Its physical (in some cases its spiritual, philosophical, and even mental) location isn’t what really matters. It is the place, the space, or the dimension where a person looks honestly at who and what they are (not what they’ve decided they “should” be, “should” do or “should” believe) and live their lives accordingly, with an eye to setting free the best of themselves instead of learning to justify or excuse the worst, even if the “worst” seems to yield more advantages than that “best.” Home is that state at which one can be confident, despite her flaws or human failings, that she has made the choices which define her life as one she deems worthy and extraordinary by her own terms. And can as a result know peace, joy, within her self no matter what hell might be raging outside herself.
I know myself to be gushing about all this. But I’m really learning so much. And am honored to.
Again, I have to meet this lady.
By MoriaDole, May 30, 2010 @ 12:54 pm
No worries, “Zephyra” my friend! I have the communication dilemma well in hand!
~M
By zephie, May 30, 2010 @ 1:13 pm
Ahah! Truly innovative thought! (LOL) A girl after my own heart!
By Christine, May 30, 2010 @ 1:49 pm
Hi Paul, Its 10.45pm here in England, I hope you have had a good weekend, although I realize its only 2.46pm there. Another start to another week.
With love as always,
Christine xx
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 1:55 pm
Christine, I agree with you that it is very hard to turn away people who knock at your door, asking that you give to a or that you sign up to a monthly donation. I do feel that this is unfair. The person collecting for the has no idea what kind of financial situation the householder is in.
You sound like the kind of lady who does give her time genorously to others.
Sarah x
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 2:01 pm
Rachelle,
The following line of yours is very true for me,
‘“Home is where the heart is”. For me it’s a memory or place where unconditional love is.’
However, it’s strange that for me, ‘home’ can change from day to day. Some days it can be amongst my husband and children (and their unconditional love) other days it can be by myself with just my thoughts.
Sarah
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 2:02 pm
On the subject of . Yes, it is important to do research before giving, to ensure that donated money is going where it will be needed.
By heidi, May 30, 2010 @ 2:02 pm
Talking about finding a place, chilling out and getting to know ourselves–I noticed that Hilda is reading a book about Buddhism. Years ago, some friends took me to a Buddhist temple –I had never been to one before. Honestly,as soon as I walked in, I experienced such a feeling of serenity and peace–never felt that before.
My friends wanted to see a rock garden there. There were no flowers in it but sand that had been raked like waves of the sea meaning our journey through life and rocks–the obstacles that face everyone of us. We sat there for ages trying to see 13 rocks which would mean perfection. After a long time, we looked at each other and laughed. None of us were perfect–we are just human beings like everyone else. It was fun doing that!!
By jools, May 30, 2010 @ 2:08 pm
I agree with both of you about the requests; but there are so many ‘cold callers’ requesting help either in person or on the phone, I’m beginning to be able to say ‘no’. There are a handful of charities I will always support, and if there are people collecting when I’m out shopping, or on my way to my volunteer job (at a shop!!), I usually try and find a bit of change. Oh and of course when my friends’ kids are selling raffle tickets or need sponsorship for various projects, I have to support them…. hmmm, maybe I’m not so good at saying ‘not this time’!!
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 2:10 pm
Heidi,
Your trip to the Buddhist centre sounds lovely.
Isn’t interesting how we can set out on an adventure, or an outing somewhere, with something particular in mind, only to find that we’ve experienced something different but have still enjoyed it?
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 2:14 pm
Ha ha Jools! I’m the same. I support friends, family, and their children if they are taking part in fund raising. I do also try and give to worthwhile charities when people are legitimately collecting in towns etc. It’s the charities who call at my front door that I don’t feel OK about. Within a few minutes of opening my door, they are asking for my bank account details etc. I have learnt to say ‘no’ to those ones.
By jools, May 30, 2010 @ 2:15 pm
That’s an interesting point, Sarah. How often do we anticipate what will happen when we have an event or meeting etc, which rarely turns out to be what you expect. (Sometimes good, sometimes not so – but it all adds to the rich tapestry of life – and other cliches!)
By heidi, May 30, 2010 @ 2:16 pm
As students,we had to read lots of books on philosophy which personally I found vague at times and difficult to understand. But I liked the idea of Neoplatonism–the old Greek philosophers believed in the harmony of nature (later others mentioned the music of the spheres).
For example, noise. If somebody sings off key, we hold our ears and tell them to be quiet.
But we all feel happy inside if we hear melody and harmonious music.
The balance and harmony of nature affect us. If the balance is disrupted, we suffer.
Picture the scene in Nomans land in the First World War–trees completed dead and destroyed.
AS A result of the war, people went hungry–some only got turnips to eat every day. IT is said that due to this, people’s immune systems were weakened and millions died in The Spanish Influenza epidemic.
As someone else said. the oil leak now off Louisiana is affecting sea life and human beings.
I think though that it is hard to keep the balance of nature right–there are beautiful places on Earth but always the threat of predators, the biggest is Mankind.
By jools, May 30, 2010 @ 2:27 pm
Oh, if only more of those people who sing out of tune would stay quiet, Heidi! But I think you’re right about the balance and harmony of nature. This oil spill will probably cause untold damage to the eco-system over the next few years.
(Only as an aside: my grandmother’s sister died in the Spanish flu epidemic – on Armistice Day, of all days… I can only imagine the family’s thoughts at that time; joy that a terrible conflict was over, but personal sadness at their loss. She was only 21.)
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 2:36 pm
Heidi,
You’ve made some very good points. As individuals, we often don’t look beyond what affects us personally, when in fact, most of what we do has some kind of impact on other people or on nature.
I do apologise. I am one of those people who sings out of tune. To be fair, I try and restrict my ‘off-keyness’ to the confines of my car when I’m out driving.
By jools, May 30, 2010 @ 2:41 pm
Is THAT what I can hear some days, when the wind’s in the right direction?
By PamT, May 30, 2010 @ 2:43 pm
Heidi: I’m a little jealous! I would love to visit a Buddhist Temple. My sister and I have always said that one day we will visit Nepal and Tibet. But I can relate to what you say about how balance and harmony affects us. A while ago, I was sitting in a meditation session at a local Buddhist Centre and, as usual, peace and calm pervaded the room. In the midst of Mindfulness of Breathing practice, I was suddenly jolted out of it by the sound loud swearing within the room. A man had erupted into anger because he perceived that someone kept looking at him in a strange way. The staff there were wonderful with him and very compassionate, but I felt quite shocked at the time. Not that I haven’t encountered those kinds of outbursts before, but because it was in such stark contrast to the tranquility that had thus far prevailed. I was also caused to reflect on my reactions to it … but that’s another story.
Wishing all well.
PamT
PS. Going off at a slight tangent and revisiting the subject of past entertainment – isn’t it odd how tastes change over the generations? My father adored The Three Stooges, but personally they always left me completely cold. Or perhaps that’s just down to a different sense of humour?
By jools, May 30, 2010 @ 2:53 pm
Not what you’d expect in a place of tranquility, as you say. The man’s outburst must have seemed even ‘wilder’ in the circumstances, and taken you time to regain any sense of calm.
Funny you should mention the Three Stooges; a friend brought them up recently (serves them right for eating them – boom boom… (sorry!). I haven’t seen much of their work – but, personally, it makes me cringe. Each to their own, of course!
By Sarah Levy, May 30, 2010 @ 3:24 pm
Isn’t it interesting how our minds work?
I came into today’s conversation where Christine has posted about how difficult it can be to give as much time to everyone, and everything, as one would like. Since then, we have gone on to explore charities, where we consider our ‘home’ to be, meditation, how one anticipated experience can turn into something unexpected, the delicate balance of nature, off key singing, and The Three Stooges.
Communication is a wonderful thing when it’s put to good use.
Pam, your mention of the Three Stooges and how your father loved them but you didn’t, somehow made me think of a different topic. I suppose it is on the same kind of lines, i.e. how one person can enjoy something yet another can’t, no matter how much they try or are cajoled into liking. Many years ago, I used to swap books with a friend of mine. She lent me a book by a famous author. My friend told me it was one of the best books she had read. I really hated it. When I returned the book to her, she asked me what I thought and I told her that I hadn’t enjoyed it. She was taken back by this because she had enjoyed it so much. My friend had obviously gotten something from the writing that I hadn’t. We continued swapping books that we thought the other might like and we both seemed to enjoy them. She then lent me a book by an author I hadn’t heard of, which I read and once again, I hated. I didn’t like the style of writing and didn’t care much for the story. Once again, she asked what I had thought. Again, I was truthful and told her I really didn’t like it. She laughed and replied that both the first book and the last book I mentioned were in fact, by the same author, just different pen names. My friend had thought that because the second book was of a different genre, I would be more inclined to like it. However, both times, she had found something enjoyable in that person’s writing, while I had found it to be distasteful and boring. I suppose we are all different and no matter what, some of us will never think alike.
Sorry to have gone O/T
Best Wishes,
Sarah
By MoriaDole, May 30, 2010 @ 7:15 pm
PMG,
With respects, the notion of a world without “right” or “wrong” is not offensive so much as depressing and very, very sad. It is pointless (or “wrong,”), of course, to fling some universal, one-size-fits-all moral/ethical mantle over “society” as a whole, but that doesn’t rule out the need for each person to establish for himself or herself a notion of what is acceptable and unacceptable based on the honest dictates of his or her “heart” (that meaning personal beliefs about what we as human beings owe each other in terms of sharing this space of life without knowing causing harm or pain to others with an eye for personal gratification or gain). We all live by that standard: even when as individuals we don’t agree on specific points or issues, even though some choose to blatantly disregard those standards.. And that is as it should be, in my opinion. Once you suspend that notion of basic standards for coexisting, you throw the doors wide open for the worst human atrocities imaginable.
Or even the mindless hurt inflicted on one person by another as a result of plain old self-serving insensitivity. Or even mindful disregard for others.
…That is why I have asked you for clarification between the concept of “right and wrong” and “correct and incorrect.” It represents (at least in my mind) a very important distinction.
With All Due Respect:
~Moriandra
By zephie, May 30, 2010 @ 7:54 pm
Moria,
Uuuuuu…I’m actually the one who asked about the right-and-wrong thing. You just ranted and raged about it for over an hour in my inbox (LOL)!
Isn’t this fantastic? Two people can connect across the cyber gap and feel like they’ve known each other for a lifetime after only one or two days? On a serious note, though, I’m really grateful for this new rapport. And for having the chance to make friends with you.
So check your inbox already, missy, instead of rousing rabbles here. Noia’s cousin okayed my/our filling you in!
Z.
By hilly, May 31, 2010 @ 12:09 am
Jools, Sarah, I can handle clashing colours and even people who sing out of tune (sometimes!) but the ne thing I hate is the one off key note that ALL church bell chimes include. It grates on me every time ding dong ding dong ding ding CLANG…oh yuk!
Cold callers…whether it is for or to sell me something all get the same reply. NO. If it is for I tell them I already gave and if it is to tell me I won something(the preamble to the sales pitch) I tell her to keep it for herself and hang up. Why do they always call at lunchtime or when I’m cooking?
I don’t know if it is happening where you are but here in France they have a new trick. The buys addresses (usually the subscribers to a magazine and we get the French equivalent of Newsweek by post); they send you a letter and enclose printed labels with your name and address/pens/writing paper and envelopes (and very pretty it is too) or key rings etc. It is a kind of blackmail…we sent you this now send us something. At the end of the year it gets worse with greetings cards that I wouldn’t buy anyway (there are no card shops here and UNCEF sells cards in shopping centres, banks, the post office!) 90% of these charities are so-called faith-based and I refuse to finance their self-salvation.
By Christine, May 31, 2010 @ 6:58 am
Hi Sarah, Thank you for your kind words. On the subject of books, how I love going into a book store and just taking the time to look. I think sometimes a book can surprise you as it may not be something you would normally read and it thrills you, or the book everyone loves you can’t see what all the fuss is about!.
Its the same with dvd’s just because one person likes it we automatically think our friends will like it too.
I think the great thing about a book is we all build the characters in our minds the book kind of plays out in your mind, so each of us will get different things out of it. Just like a fine piece of art, you know some ‘get’ it other’s don’t. One person’s beautiful is anothers mediocre. Thank goodness we are all individuals otherwise this world would be so boring!. On the subject of books…… can’t wait for Paul’s books to come out!.
Best wishes,
Christine.
By Rachelle, May 31, 2010 @ 7:54 am
Hi Sarah – Yes I agree with you that we all need alone time at times, that’s forsure!
Christine – I’m looking forward to the new book as well. It sounds really good! It’ll also make for good Christmas gifts.*g*
Happy Memorial Day to all my American friends!
Rach
By hilly, May 31, 2010 @ 8:30 am
you’re right Christine, nothing beats the experience of going into a bookstore or a good library and just allowing yourself to drift among the shelves and suddenly finding a book that opens up a new adventure for your mind.
Sometimes re-reading an old favourite has the same effect.
I used to love getting side-tracked in the library when I was at University; I once sat on the floor amongst the stacks for an hour and read whole book; it had nothing to do with the paper I was researching….but it was about the same period and in the end it added to my knowledge and point of view of the subject I was writing about.
I think that people who rely on Google and Yahoo to find their information miss the opportunity for an experience like that…and that probably explains why so many people know less about more!
By hilly, May 31, 2010 @ 8:31 am
PS no way will I ever come to terms with Kindle or an Ipad in place of real paper pages and the sound they make when your turn them
And the smell of a new book – you don’t get that with the screen either
By Christine, May 31, 2010 @ 12:49 pm
Hi Hilly, I agree with you on the smell of a new book, remember when we were at school and the teacher’s would give out the new books and we would be so careful with it? or the new text book that you would so carefully write your name on so neatly because it was new?. I love going to the library the bigger the better you walk in and there is so much knowledge just waiting to be read. The internet has its good points(like here!!) but there is nothing like a good book and a cup of tea.
Hi Rach, Hope you had a good weekend my friend. It’s exciting about Paul’s books isn’t it? xx
With love,
Christine.
By hilly, May 31, 2010 @ 12:53 pm
A thought….
“The darkest hours of our lives are merely opportunities to see how brightly our Inner Light can shine. Mindfulness is the key.”
I don’t lay claim to that, I’m just passing it on
By hilly, May 31, 2010 @ 12:54 pm
yes Christine…a good book a cup of tea/coffee or a glass of wine (depending on the time of day) and the world can go and do whatever it wants to without me!
By Janise Anthony, May 31, 2010 @ 9:19 pm
Paul,
This blog has a rhythm and flow that only leaves me floating on air.
Its perfection has left me with no desire to read other posters entries here. I prefer to just enjoy its bliss rather than disect its truth with any response of my own or a ping ponging of chatter.
Thank you
Peace
Janise
By Softly, June 1, 2010 @ 1:11 am
LAST ACT – THE WIZ – NIGHT SKY
GLINDA (THE GOOD WITCH OF THE SOUTH)
Home is a place we all have to find child.
Home is not just a place where you eat or sleep.
Home is knowing.
Knowing your mind, knowing your heart, knowing your courage.
When we know ourselves, we are always home, anywhere.
CUE MUSIC
By heidi, June 1, 2010 @ 1:54 am
Sorry fellow bloggers–I’m new to computers and this is the first blog I have joined in with–the other day, I did not know that you were all discussing and some other topics.
Hello Sarah Levy!! you keep on singing–it makes you happy. No by noise, I was thinking of things that offend our ears such as pneumatic drills on the roads or motorbikes starting up whereas something like the violin can produce sounds that hit our senses on the spine and inner spirit. Some ballet music can send shivers down my spine, that’s for sure.
Jools, sorry to hear about your grandmother’s sister. My grandma died young around that time too–I never knew her.
As for the “Three Stooges” and comedy–Well, we allhave a different sense of humour, don’t we? My mum could not laugh at them —my favourite comedians were Laurel and Hardy—I liked them—wish they would show their films now on T.V.
My real favourite was Chaplin!!!! He could make me cry too–a great performer. Has anyone seen “The Kid”"?–that really touched my heartstrings. A good performer when he could make us laugh and cry.
Just to say my grandfather saw Chaplin perform in a local theatre when he was with a Lancashire clog dancing troupe before he went to Hollywood.
By hilly, June 1, 2010 @ 4:30 am
don’t worry Heidi we seem to be skilled at rambling off the original point here! I can’t even remember how we ended up on the subject of .
Chaplin was great (but I prefer Buster Keaton an Harold Loyd)
By Terri, June 1, 2010 @ 4:36 am
Hi Janise, I so agree with you. I enjoy Paul’s writings very much. I add very little though. I read and learn. Terri
By Rachelle, June 1, 2010 @ 6:41 am
Hilly – when you wrote ‘we seem to be skilled at rambling off’ I thought that was so funny. I know myself I do it well. LOL
Janise (and Terri) – Paul’s writings are enjoyable!
Christine – I know my Mom even wants his book (she’ll have to wait till Christmas.*g*) So yes very much looking forward to it!
Rach
By heidi, June 1, 2010 @ 8:05 am
Can I just ask you all about this blogging thing? Am I supposed to be commenting on what Mr. Glaser writes or your messages or both things here?
Today, I was talking to a neighbour’s young son and asked him what a blog was. He didn’t know.
By hilly, June 1, 2010 @ 8:27 am
follow the flow!
We all started off on our ramblings fro some point that Paul made in his blog…after that? Well it is ‘shared thoughts’. Paul shares his with us and off we go for better or worse.
Personally I find I learn a great deal from the posts that others offer – ramblings or not…I always find myself looking at Paul’s blog and reflecting about how we got there.
By hilly, June 1, 2010 @ 8:28 am
at least that’s how I see it….
By Christine, June 1, 2010 @ 8:37 am
Hi Heidi, From a personal point of view I try to comment on Paul’s comments but the thing is we tend to go off topic just a tiny bit sometimes lol. I have to say I always feel a bit guilty for that but hey I haven’t been barred yet!!!.
I think the important thing to bear in mind is that this is Pmg’s blog and try to be respectful to him and other’s on here. What is a blog? well to be honest I have looked the word up in my dictionary and believe it or not its not in there!
Isn’t it basically a place for everyone to meet and discuss? some blog’s actually only provide you with what the person has been up to or plans to do. I’m sure someone will correct my ramblings if I have this wrong lol.
Best wishes,
Christine.
By Christine, June 1, 2010 @ 8:47 am
Ok so I googled it a ‘blog’ is a web log which is pretty much an online diary. So they say, me personally, I think it can be pretty much about anything that interests us. xx
By Christine, June 1, 2010 @ 12:52 pm
Hi Sammy, Its been a while since you have been on here, I know you were having a rough time. Just to let you know you are in my thoughts and I wish you well. My apologies, this is the only way we contact one another, so I hope you don’t mind.
Best wishes,
Christine.
By heidi, June 2, 2010 @ 12:46 am
Thanks for explaining–I’ll remember in future.
By Christine, June 2, 2010 @ 9:39 am
Hi everyone, You know we all try as Paul says to witness without judging?. I guess there are many ways we can judge given the situation; but its half term for the schools here in England so I take my daughter out shopping. It’s a beautiful sunny day here, and Amy being Amy wants to look in every shop!!. So she calls into a shop right on the main road I wait outside and this guy pulls up his car at the lights his roof is down and he yells an insult at me which I won’t repeat but(lets just say I’m no match for Julia Roberts or any other beautiful actress you could care to mention). So I ignore the guy who then tells his girlfriend and friends and soon there is a car full of idiots laughing at me. I know they are ignorant and a few swear words that I could think of, but the fact of the matter is it still got to me. They have no idea what health problems I have yet they look at you and throw hurtful remarks. Its not the first time this has happened and I guess not the last but why can’t people just accept a person for who they are?. I personally don’t judge anyone on appearances, its just a shame that we live in a world where a lot of people are so shallow. Why do we let people get to us?.
Best wishes,
Christine.
By Rachelle, June 2, 2010 @ 11:41 am
Christine – You’re a beautiful person inside and out. It’s sad there are people out there in this world of ours that act this way but it’s not you, it’s them. They lash out or pick on others to make themselves feel better about themselves. It’s the subconscious way for them to numb what’s going on in their lives and not face their own fears. You can hold your head up and feel good that you treat others with respect. You’re a special person and friend!
I must admit when it comes to close friends getting picked on I believe there are times when one must stand up for those we love or care about.
Hugs, Rach xo
Ps if I lived closer we could go shopping.
By Christine, June 2, 2010 @ 1:43 pm
Hi Rach, Thank you my friend. Your support is appreciated. Maybe I need to ‘toughen’ up a bit and not let people get to me. I wish you lived closer to, but Canada is a little far to go shopping for us!. Hope you are having a good week.
Love,
Christine xx
By Sammy, June 2, 2010 @ 8:13 pm
Hi Christine,
Thank you for being so concerned my friend. I was reading the blog though I didn’t comment on anything this time. For once I was just observing how we jump from one topic to another and how we connect with each other on here. The experience of reading everything as an ‘outsider’ (I mean without joining the fun for once) is truly amazing. Also most of the things that came into my mind were written somewhere by someone- I was reading my own thoughts in someone else’s writing.
It is really amazing to see how similar we are in thoughts. The difference is in how we express ourselves. We use different words to express the same thing and the same words to express different things.
About your recent experience Christine, what can I say, there are monsters among humans. When you identify them you will see that there is nothing more to what they say because they are just NOT HUMAN! You don’t have to let them get to you just for that reason.
I would like to say more but like you said I don’t know how to contact you either. However on the fan forum, you can find a link to e-mail me. Do write to me.
Sammy.
By Christine, June 3, 2010 @ 2:31 am
Hi Sammy, Hey its great to hear from you. Thank you for the link I will e-mail you.
As for yesterday, well its another day isn’t it? I guess letting people get to you is a waste of energy, which could be spent on more positive things!!. Thanks for your kind words. Take care of yourself.
with love,
Christine.
By Terri, June 3, 2010 @ 5:28 am
Hi Christine, I think the reason we feel frustrated or angry when we experience situations like your recent one is we wouldn’t do or think of doing that to someone else. Their rudeness makes no sense to someone who does not think along those lines. Most of us here seem to be the do on to others AS you would like it done to you and dealing with stupidity can be hard. Sometimes even hard to understand. As you said today is another day. Hope it’s a pleasant one. Mine will be. I’m altering dance costumes and believe it or not it’s one of my favorite pass times. Take care, Terri
By Rachelle, June 3, 2010 @ 6:15 am
Christine – I’m so glad to hear you’re feeling better! Today is a new day and a new beginning.
I wish we could shop together by the way but I think shopping in London would be much more fun then shopping in Vancouver. But that’s just me!!*g*
Sammy – I hope you’re doing well and glad to hear from you! You can also pm me on Youtube if you ever need to chat.*g*
Terri – Very well said!
Rach
By Christine, June 3, 2010 @ 6:43 am
Hi Terri, Thank you, you know you are so right, most of us wouldn’t dream of going out of our way to hurt another. It is hard to understand their motives; seriously sad to see how they get their kicks eh?.
Your job? hobby? altering the dance costumes sounds fun but no doubt hard work, hope you have a great day.
Hi Rach, I think I would need to win the lottery to shop in London lol. We are a little less posh(well off) in the North East of England. Working class down to earth people are we!!! (well most of us lol). Have a good weekend.
Love,
Christine.
By hilly, June 3, 2010 @ 11:31 am
Christine….you are beautiful. The people who insulted you are ugly; in their hearts and in their minds….if they have minds, that is!
Next time I come to England your going to have to get a train down to the Bi City (because North of Watford makes me dizzy LOL)…I can show you plenty of cheap places to shop!
Back to the point…isn’t the story Christine told a marvellous example of another aspect of that great unknown ‘the mind’? When I commented ‘if they have minds’ I was being snide (of course) but they were being mindless in every sense of the word. Acting without the safety valve of the mind…being unthinking.
The opposite of mindless is ‘mindful’…but apart from the Book of Common Prayer (I think) where else do we hear that word these days. Being mindful of our words and actions means taking notice of what we are doing…minding what we are doing.
“Mind the gap”…anyone who has used the London Tube (Underground/Subway/Metro) has seen that one. A warning not to fall twixt the train and the platform. It’s a good one to keep in mind (here we go again – another usage) when we avoid that “slip ‘tween cup and lip”; or more to the point “twixt thought and word/action.”
By hilly, June 3, 2010 @ 11:31 am
oops sorry forgot to close the bold HTML….
By Christine, June 3, 2010 @ 2:10 pm
Hi Hilly, Thank you for your support. I suppose it depends on how much self-confidence someone has, on just how things get to you.
Back to Paul’s question does the mind feel?. No, but it triggers the emotions, and then you begin to question yourself, and pull yourself to pieces. The funny thing about it is, the person/people who have upset you probably have not given you a second thought. Interesting how other’s can have us beating ourselves up for ages.
Then you turn on the news and you see how much trouble there is in the world and tell yourself to get things in perspective!!. The shopping trip sounds good Hilly. Take care,
Christine. xx
By Terri, June 3, 2010 @ 5:56 pm
Hi Christine, Altering the costumes is only a hobby, just helping out a young competition group that I just love. They’re school age, try hard, do well and they are a joyful distraction for me. I’ve helped a little with other groups but this is the only one now. Terri
By hilly, June 4, 2010 @ 3:39 am
yes Christine – the mind triggers emotions; and another word we use for ‘emotions’ is…………..feelings.
So we come full circle in a way
By Rachelle, June 4, 2010 @ 5:56 am
Hi Christine – I hear ya winning the Lotto would be awesome. I must admit if I won I would be in a hot place beach side watching the waves.*g* Shopping would be fun though!
Have a great weekened everyone, Rach – T.G.I.F!!
By jade, June 4, 2010 @ 1:10 pm
Every moment is an miraculous opportunity to exhibit gratefulness and appreciation for all that is.
By Terri Nefarious, June 5, 2010 @ 8:02 am
P.M.G.,
Most of what you said above seems to contradict itself, and some cases things you’ve said with equal conviction in prior entries…which is fine in terms of making others think. I got lost in all the twists or turns but get the feeling that you might do the same, and the whole point of it all is to hit the emotional and spiritual turbulence of life and see where the currents take you–how far you are on Friday from where you started the past Monday and comparing that to the person next to you who is on basically the same route but experiencing it all completely differently.
You know, it seems for me (and maybe others) that you are someone who thinks a great deal. You want to understand things and really get into that process of not so much finding the “right” answers as learning through just asking the question and seeing where the pursuit of the answer takes you, which I thought to be really cool. Likewise, this was the reason I thought your blog would be really cool as well. That is why I’m just confused. You say so many things. Some of them I get: some I don’t. There are times when it sounds as if you put a lot of thought and care into what you’re saying: others it’s like you’re thinking I really don’t have anything to say here and just trowel in whatever bs is sort of on your mind at the time. And again, that’s cool. Isn’t that what we all do, more or less. (It’s a reminder that you’re just a normal person like the rest of us, doing what needs to be done because you need to do it. And I can respect that.) Then there are the times when it sounds like you’re saying what you think you ought to say or what you think you should believe. Again, that’s what we all do, because we are all human. Moreover, it’s part of life–maybe the most important one: sifting through what we think we ought to be to get to who and what we really are. And reading your blog used to indicate to me that we keep right on “sifting” no matter what age. That thought is comforting in a way. It’s nice to know that other people, different people do things differently and none of us ever really reach a point of having it “all together” or having all the answers, which would be extremely boring I would think, and reading your blog was a nice reminder that we are all “just passing through,” making the most of the trip in passing.
What I don’t get is why so much of this is not what you think or say but just other people chatting and so forth. I mean even though I don’t particularly want a bunch of angry rebuttals from people telling me how wrong I am to say anything that they don’t agree with, but is it disrespectful to say that I thought the purpose of a blog was hearing what the blogger has to say, not opening up a chat room. That “comments” were supposed to pertain to what the blogger said because, like, isn’t that the point?
What the blogger has to say?
I guess I get miffed because I’d often like to know more about what you have to say, respect the fact that you take the time to say it, and feel cheated when I log on to a page that’s suppose to center on that but is about everything else.
For the record, you seem like an interesting person who has a lot on his mind and a lot to contribute to real discussion. It just seems to me that what you have to say gets lost here, the way things are set up.
It just seems wrong not to say something about it.
Just a respectful observation respectfully given.
T. Nefarious
By Christine, June 5, 2010 @ 11:54 am
Hi Terri Nefarious, Speaking from a personal point of view I don’t think what Paul says ever gets lost. Depending on how we understand or should I say try to understand at times his words basically people recognize or ‘connect’ those same thoughts/feelings in our lives. I have learned a lot from reading Paul’s comments and it is a privilege to do that.
I don’t think that most of us would ever mean to be disrespectful to Pmg. Why would we? Yes, we do go off topic (I have done this quite often I admit) but this isn’t saying I don’t value or appreciate Paul’s words. Just we are human and the different comments start new comments, but you will notice that we go back to the main topic. I’m sure if this was to bug Paul or Pam they could leave a comment asking us to stick to the subject. My apologies to anyone who has been offended by going off topic. As for this….There are times when it sounds as if you put a lot of thought and care into what you’re saying: others it’s like you’re thinking I really don’t have anything to say here and just trowel in whatever bs is sort of on your mind at the time. And again, that’s cool. Isn’t that what we all do, more or less. (It’s a reminder that you’re just a normal person like the rest of us, doing what needs to be done because you need to do it. And I can respect that.) My opinion here, isn’t this disrespectful? You really think Paul would sit as his computer and write anything that he thought meant nothing?. I guess some of us may have a little more faith in him than that. With respect, yes we are all human, we have our good and bad days but I think we still care enough to consider what we write on here. One last point, Pmg does not have to write on here if he doesn’t want to its a personal choice, you almost make it sound like its a chore. Just my opinion with all respect.
Christine.
By Christine, June 5, 2010 @ 3:15 pm
Hi Chavie, I think you are right, most of us do honour Paul and respect him, just as we try to respect one another’s point of view. My personal view point is that Pmg gives us his time and ok you may not always understand/agree with his point of view, but it really makes me mad when he is picked apart for trying to be open and honest on life. No one agree’s with everyone all of the time, but respect should always come first. Don’t you think?. I’ll climb down from my soapbox now!!.
Best wishes,
Christine.
By Terri Nefarious, June 5, 2010 @ 3:27 pm
Apparently it is I who should apologize. My observations, like those of others, were merely my own personal opinions and directed at P.M.G. personally–not meant to offend anyone or compel others to correct me. Thank you all for so kindly pointing out my mistakes. I wish all a good evening and assure you I will not trouble you in the future.
By MoriaDole, June 5, 2010 @ 3:43 pm
Terri Nefarious,
If my two cents are worth anything, you have just as much right to express your opinion as anyone. Who knows how it will be taken: for all anyone of us knows, Pmg might, if he reads it, find the candor refreshing…or not. If any one person feels the right to speak his or her mind here, everyone should have that same opportunity, shouldn’t they? Without being judged, evaluated, ordered, controlled by anyone…except–possibly–the one to whom the comment/observation is addressed.
A good night to you as well.
~M. Doland
By Christine, June 5, 2010 @ 4:16 pm
Hi Chavie, Thanks for the kind words.
Best wishes,
Christine.
By Christine, June 5, 2010 @ 4:39 pm
Isn’t a ‘blog’ or as its called a ‘shared thoughts’ blog just that?. Don’t we all comment on each other’s blogs?. Its not a case of anyone wanting to order/control anyone else. Its a personal point of view which will differ from person to person. This is my understanding of a ‘blog’ perhaps I have it wrong? I’m sure someone will correct me if I’m wrong, lol.
By MoriaDole, June 5, 2010 @ 5:59 pm
Well, it would seem to me to be in very bad form to comment upon an entry or an idea addressed to one specific person and no one else. If one chooses to share his/her thoughts with the group, that is one thing, and responses are indeed appropriate. If, on the other hand, the person specifically addresses a comment to one person and one person only, it would seem rude and considerate for others to comment on and evaluate that entry. I’m sure someone would correct ME if I’m wrong…or even if I’m not.
By hilly, June 6, 2010 @ 12:39 am
I have a suggestion (and it s one that has worked for me more than once) bear with me here I’m going to ramble to explain it!
While it is IMO normal that sometimes the contributors run off the original point (and usually because of where the blog PMG has posted takes them) and then end up discussing that sidetrack at length and, who knows, provoking others – maybe even PMG himself if he reads them – to think outside that original framework. I would suggest that it is out of place to start holding what is obviously a private conversation withing the post. Now we come to my suggestion. Some people have links through their names here (but you can’t link to an e-mail only a website it seems); click on the name if it is blue and you’ll go there. For others there is a simple way of giving a contact without posting your e-mail publicly – a very unwise thing to do – and htat is to go back tot eh main page of this site and find the ‘fan forum’ page. Leave a note here for the person you want to contact and then leave another message on the fan forum with your e-mail address lined to it. That way anyone who wants to contact you – or you want to contact you – can do so. You can then chat in private.
It works – doesn’t it Sue, Sammy, Chavie to name but a few.
If I may….”just a thought”
By Christine, June 6, 2010 @ 1:57 am
Hi Hilly, Good point. The thing is we seem to be ‘off topic’ again lol. Well happy Sunday everyone!!.
Best wishes,
Christine xx
By Softly, June 6, 2010 @ 7:59 am
Dear Mr Glaser,
After 2 ½ weeks of working in the woods and cutting hazel my machete and me became good friends. It’s a very special tool, it came to me by post all the way from Brazil from a man I don’t know and never even thanked properly.
Time was running out and I knew I had to leave my safe haven soon. One morning I woke up and the sun was shining. After 2 ½ weeks of snow and hail, wind and rain thunder storms and fog she was a sight for sore eyes. My body ached from the heavy physical work and was stiff after a rough night in a cold tent. I was waiting for the coffee to come to the boil when a thought entered my mind: “I’m miserable”. I thought about that thought for a second and wondered where that thought came from.
I examined the premise of being miserable.
“Do I feel miserable?”
Well my hands are stiff and so is my back, my head hurts from a branch that nearly knocked me out yesterday. I have scratches and bruises every where from working in the woods and cutting the bramble and my throat hurts. But still, adding all that up does not make me feel miserable.
So if it’s not something physical it most be something psychological, I checked.
“Do I experience miserable?”
I look out over the mountain meadow and feel happy. I hear the birds sing their morning song and I feel safe. My skin is touched by the wind and the sun and I feel grounded. I smell the coffee in the cold morning air and I feel home. So miserable, no.
“Do I think miserable?”
I’m content about what I have achieved considering the weather, I had some inspiring new ideas, and no thoughts that spell out doom or gloom. In short no thought to classify as miserable.
Yet something in me mentioned the word miserable.
I looked at my machete stuck in a block of oak, and thought “might as well say that my machete is miserable”. I smiled. By placing it outside “me” and sticking it on an inanimate object it became ridiculous. Miserable, pfff, nonsense. I know my trusted machete friend does not experience feelings or thoughts of being miserable. I also know that the machete and the oak it is leaning into are as much a part of me as the wind, the cold, the sun and the mountain. And miserable we are not.
The balance that I became one with in that moment tells me there is no need to dissect this further, there is only need to stay one with all.
Forever Softly learning.
By hilly, June 6, 2010 @ 8:06 am
“I looked at my machete stuck in a block of oak, and thought “might as well say that my machete is miserable”. I smiled. By placing it outside “me” and sticking it on an inanimate object it became ridiculous. Miserable, pfff, nonsense. I know my trusted machete friend does not experience feelings or thoughts of being miserable. I also know that the machete and the oak it is leaning into are as much a part of me as the wind, the cold, the sun and the mountain. And miserable we are not.”
what a great technique Softly!
Every time you post I learn a new way of looking at things.
By PamT, June 6, 2010 @ 8:42 am
Some interesting and revealing posts over the past few days. As I was seeking an awareness of my reactions upon reading them, along with the contemplation of an event tomorrow which is close enough to be troubling me, my thoughts returned to PMG’s last blog entry:
“However when confronted with our inability to affect the outcome of something, like our lives, when that degree of helplessness paralyzes you or simply tickles you with some indigestion or rage, while our minds may be able to create a bandaid to deny that horrible feeling of helplessness… the fact is that our minds fear that they can’t help us out. How do we know this? With our feelings. Listen to them. That’s what they’ll tell you.
What we can do, is to focus our minds on things that reaffirm and bring us to a more peaceful place. The more we do it, the better we remember to do it the next time.”
So, I am going to exercise my choice – sit and observe my thoughts and feelings as they come and go.
PamT
PS. Softly: Good to see you posting again. I also enjoy your thoughts.
By marly, June 6, 2010 @ 1:50 pm
Be warned: this is an on topic comment and possibly a véry boring one as well for that matter…
Feel free to scroll down.
My mind is indeed a powerful asset that enables me to transform that “what is” into “that what should /could/must be.”
To tell you the truth, my conditioned mind hardly ever allows me to take a peek at “what is!”
It often talks me out of peeking all together by simply distracting me, telling me to do something “useful”, convincing me that all this spiritual mumbo jumbo is just a complete waste of time….
It whispers:”The “self” doesn’t exist, it’s only an illusion constructed by your brain, go and ask the scientists……”
My mind also warns me :”Be careful, before you know it people will say you’re such a bore and turn their backs on you!”
However, my instinct, my senses or whatever word you want/like to use to describe this yearning deep inside of me tells me to doubt my minds very own personal version of “what is.”
Gradually, by doing a lot of reading and observing , thinking, etc. I start to realize the enormous impact of my own conditioning on the way I view myself and the world around me.
No wonder that my mind tries so hard to maintain that good old status quo!
It’s safe and comfortable (and to a certain extent necessary, I guess) to hold on to what one “knows”, isn’t it?
But…..who am I really?
All those more or less firm believes, opinions, choices…….who/what am I without it?
What about “free will” for that matter, is it just another illusion?
What about “right” and “wrong”, ”good” and “bad” if due to our conditioning we treasure different values on these matters?
What about my fellow human beings, they’re trapped inside their own conditioned mind as well, aren’t they?!
Note(if you’re still there) that I am asking a lot of questions but don’t you worry, my fellow bloggers, neither one of you, including pmg ,is expected to deliver the answers on a silver platter.
As I have said before, to me the shared thoughts blog of pmg has a catalytic function.
I willingly admit that I don’t always get “it” instantly and sometimes it takes me months to process what pmg tries to share but that’s part of my personal learning process.
Pmg’s teachings are indeed a challenge but (for me personally anyway) also an stimulant to do my very own research. It urges me to read books written by other teachers, philosophers, scientists, etc. in order to try to learn more and to broaden my perspective on these matters.
At the same time, when I find the courage to observe myself, I see someone who’s mind is trying to distract her from the “here and now”, so much to do, nothing is perfect as it is……
Being an introvert who tends to spent a lot of time “inside” her brain I could easily dedicate my life to an ongoing guest outside myself while “it’s” already here for the taking……
Am I rambling?
Yes, I am!
Sorry!
It’s six months since I joined this Shared thoughts blog.
I didn´t know what to expect and I didn´t expect to learn as much as I have since I came to this place.
I sincerely hope that other bloggers share this experience and feel just as inspired as I do.
I’m not just referring to pmg’s blogs but also to everyone who, in their turn, shared their own thoughts/comments with the rest of us.
I also hope that this blog is a meaningful experience for pmg himself as well.
While reading comments of fellow bloggers I often find myself looking into a range of mirrors.
I don´t always like what I see but it makes me very aware of the fact that in spite of all our differences we´re all the same.
Let’s try to keep this in mind while we’re commenting on one another’s thoughts instead of jumping to conclusions or defending our personal rights and wrongs if someone doesn’t seem to agree with pmg or somebody else down here.
Personally I learn the most(in hindsight!) from people who aren’t too willing to agree with me.
(okay, sharpen your pencils,folks!)
Finally, I followed the discussion about running off topic and I`m very glad that Hilly came up with a possible solution.
Have a good week,
Marly
By michaela804, June 6, 2010 @ 6:11 pm
To All Concerned:
I am flabbergasted that after all that has taken place in the past, some of you still insist upon dictating to others what they may say, how they may interact with others (besides you), and how the must speak, exchange or respond. Why are only a few of you allowed to make decisions for all.
It truly bothers me that many of us are not able to enjoy this blog because a few speak as though they have been sanctioned to not only define “blog etiquette” (wrongly, I might add. on a blog, only the person who started the blog is a “blogger.” The others contribute on comment on the blog.) I long on, read, but don’t feel comfortable responding because of the inconsiderate behavior of others. If you do not like or agree with someone else’s opinion, that is fine, but why are some allowed to address Paul Michael Glaser and others not? He did not stipulate that o nly those who like him or are fans of his may log on, so what right do others have to do so. Or to arrogantly instruct others that they m ay not hold one-on-one exchanges all the while defending their own rights to do the same.
What ever happened to manners? Respect for other people? It is not fair for others to made to feel uncomfortable, then call upon those who agree with your opinions or are “acceptable” to you to corroborate your rudeness.
All hell broke loose over such behavior before. The first time truly could be contributed to human error. This is a trend.
I like to hear what others have to say. Also, others have a right to say what they wish unless, until they are corrected by Mr. Glaser. And Mr. Glaser only. Each time a new person with a compelling perspective logs on, they are instantly told (in the guise of “helpfulness) to obey certain rules or be castigated.
Please stop doing this.
We are adults here, not children. This is not a club nor a clique. And do not, please, all log on to jump on my case. I am stating (not debating) that it is upsetting to others when they do not feel free to voice those things they think or believe for certainty of harsh criticism by regulars.
MoriaDole was right, I think. If a person specifically addresses mr. Glaser personally, others should respect that, not jump in to tell that person why they are wrong, disrespectful,m etc. because they happen to have an opinion that is not your own. Mr. Glaser himself has asked others to listen without judgment, and you all harshly judged Terry Nefarious quite rudely and inappropriately.
If you have any decency, you will apologize and leave the woman (?) and others like her free to speak as freely as you take it as your right to speak.
I no longer contribute because of such behavior. Others comment then vanish after being treated in such a fashion. As I said before, such treatment of others led to unpleasantness that none of us have forgotten.
Why repeat that mistake?
Others of us have gone so far as not to offer comments at all in order to “keep the peace”. The least others can do is keep unsolicited comments to themselves for the same reason.
Don’t bother to jump in to make me feel somehow churlish for standing up and being heard on this matter. I thought it might be “safe” to log onto this site again after sufficient time had passed. Obviously I was wrong. I, too, will leave you to YOUR blogging, this time not to return; yet before I go, I am saying for the record that the behavior exhibited here by some shames us all…and corroborating the adolescent and closed-minded behavior amongst yourselves does not make it right.
Others have just as much right to be heard as you.
Further, they have just as much right as anyone to address questions to Paul Michael Glaser as anyone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
By MoriaDole, June 6, 2010 @ 8:14 pm
I would like to express my thanks to you, Michaela804 for conveying my own thoughts so thoroughly and so articulately. I am a relatively new participant in Pmg’s blog, yet during my short time affiliating with it, I have felt most uncomfortable and offended by the often condescending, often hypocritical way a few “long timers” address others. Can’t others of you grasp the concept that when someone like myself takes the time to state that we feel as if behavior is out of line, it is because of the way that behavior makes us feel? One contributing reader mentioned an incident in which she experienced thoughtless cruelty and how those actions/attitudes of others made her feel. Well, why is it hard to hear when others here on this blog say the same thing. I do not like feeling as though I can’t respond honestly or directly to Pmg without others telling me what I do and do not have to say (as has been the case with others), all the while conversing freely and with vigor as they chose. Comments made here have offended me, personally, at times; yet, I make a point of respecting others’ rights to say what they will, remind myself that as the conversations often are not addressed to me it would be rude to butt in, and simply live and let live. However, lines are being crossed here, and with all do respect to the notion of diverse opinions, having variant opinions is no excuse for thoughtless behavior towards oithers. Some of you are pmg fans: others may not have a high opinion of the man himself but still find his views interesting, and others fall between those two extremes. It is not fair to make it seem as if only those who share your (one specific individual’s) views of the man/his ideas/his writings are entitled to contribute as they see fit. What happens here smacks, at times, of discrimination, and I am disturbed by it. No one has the right to dictate what others think and feel about pmg or demand that only certain opinions be expressed. If pmg determines an individual to have gone too far–in terms of the questions they ask him or the points of view they express to him– he is capable of making that known.
I must succinctly state that I, too, often feel it less than “comfortable” contributing here. And I, too, think it unfair.
~M. Doland
By Frances, June 7, 2010 @ 3:20 am
I Agree 100% with the last three posts. At times while reading the posts I notice that some people completely miss the point that pmg is trying to make (e.g. trying not to judge) and I too find that by using the guise of being helpful they can come across as anything but!. Thanks folks for speaking up for the less articulate !! and once your comments have been taken on board and digested, lets hope peace will reign here once more.
By Christine, June 7, 2010 @ 3:38 am
Hi everyone, Firstly I would like to apologize to Paul and Pam as this is not what the blog is for as we have been told before.
Yet interestingly enough; yes I did disagree with a comment made, but I have to say that I was polite. Funnily enough I have been accused of being bad-mannered among other things, when if anything the insults are coming from your end!! Paul does indeed tell us not to judge. Sorry, but isn’t this exactly what you are doing but with added insults?
Hopefully this blog will get back to Paul’s topic. I wouldn’t normally get into arguments but believe me I am aware who has the bad manners here.
Christine.
By Saskia, June 7, 2010 @ 3:47 am
don’t you see by making these comments towards the bloggers, you are, yourselves judging them? You are pulling them to pieces. There is one person in particular who “M-Doland” is targeting and I have no idea why.
whatever thoughts Christine has had they have always been expressed with pure politeness. She is contributing her opinion to this blog. When someone classes some of Pmg’s thoughts as BS isn’t there a need to express ones opinion on the matter and say what they have commented on, what they have learned from is NOT BS.
When commenting on Paul’s blog you cannot refuse to let others form an opinion. It is a ‘shared thoughts’ blog! in my opinion if you have something to say to him that is so personal that you don’t want others commenting then, write to him personally, don’t come on a public blog and get all huffy when someone doesn’t agree with you.
you say that certain people are being picked on but what are you doing right now? Huh? You are pulling someone to pieces for forming an opinion, you are judging them as you don’t like that certain opinion.
This is a PUBLIC blog. If you don’t like what someone is saying, address it, but do not carry on picking that certain person apart, it is actually a form of bullying.
I’m pretty sure you will have an opinion about this, probably that I am arrogant and inpolite, etc..etc.. but I don’t care. I’m expressing something that I feel is right. Just as PMG does, he expresses his thoughts and feelings.
For the record, Paul, I find none of your blogs BS, they always get me thinking about life and what matters.
Peace
Saskia~
By hilly, June 7, 2010 @ 6:32 am
not boring at all Marly….well worth reading more than once.
By Sammy, June 7, 2010 @ 7:33 am
I was thinking of Marly too – I mean what Marly had written
I too have been on this blog for almost 6 months now .. and Marly I enjoy your posts because most of the time you say just the thing I wanted to say…
About ‘me’ and the mind of ‘me’ – I don’t know if any of you have experienced this but this is something that has happened so many times since I was a kid. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, maybe in the middle of a deep sleep, I don’t feel ‘me’ anymore- It is as if my mind is all empty and that I feel my physical body but I don’t feel any emotions- It is just as if ‘me’ as I know of, or ‘Sammy’ is simply just a name and that the person awake right at that point could has no association with the ‘mind’ of ‘Sammy’. I scares the hell out of me and I just lie there and think of what makes me ‘Sammy’ – Then within minutes I start to remember the feelings or emotions that is associated with ‘Sammy’ and I start feel OK- and that I am back with the living and know who I really am.
A friend of mine told me that the mind is a product of the brain but it belongs to the brain as well as our ‘culture’- This rang true to me after I thought about it for a while. He says both the brain and the mind are responsible for our emotions. I interpret it as this: when the mind thinks the brain creates emotions/feelings. When two minds think of the same thing, the thoughts that are created are different- and that difference is the influence of the ‘culture’. Now ‘culture’ can be interpreted in many ways- For me it is the collection of events as to : how I was raised, what was taught to me and what I perceive as ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, my beliefs, my environment, my friends and their influences.. in other words, all external forces that have influenced my ‘thinking’ or what I have been subjected to since I was born.
Now in the middle of the night, what I don’t remember is the influences of this ‘culture’ potion. Just as if I was born right at that point. No emotions because the mind has not been influenced yet. So is it just the brain working at that point without the mind.
Paul … Marly.. or any of my fellow bloggers- Have you had any experience similar to this? I sure would like to know your thoughts..
By hilly, June 7, 2010 @ 7:41 am
that sounds to me like you have achieved a perfect detachment Sammy. scary and exciting at the same time. It isn’t the same as ‘out of body experiences’ (been there – yep, up on the ceiling watching me try to deal with life) but a capacity to step back from your own consciousness and see things without any preconceived ideas that our nature and our nurture have programmed into that ‘mind’ of ours.
By MoriaDole, June 7, 2010 @ 7:57 am
Actually, I referred to neither a single person nor a single situation but in deliberately general terms to encompass what I perceived to be a trend. People claim this to be a public blog; yet the second an opinion is voiced which is not approved of by the “fans” that person comes under immediate fire. Is it really the words I speak which are upsetting…or the fact that I am obviously not a Paul Michael Glaser fanatic which has people up in arms? Well, if the man is the kind of person who only welcomes comments from those who think (or pretend to think) he walks on water, he would be a shallow, narcissistic person indeed.
I have said what I think just as you all have. Why can others go onto tirades about public figures, criticize, and offer any opinions they feel necessary (and by “they” I literally mean more than one individual) without censure, with respect for their opinions, but because Terry made a comment about it seeming as if pmg, like others, might just get tired or have nothing to say and just put down whatever in order to keep in the blogging habit (the operative words being “seems like”) she is treated like a leper (especially when she was addressing pmg and no one else, rendering others’ opinions on the wording of her questions intrusive and inappropriate.) Hate me, that’s fine. Say what you will. But regardless, to make those who are not avid pmg fans or who someone seems to question, challenge, oppose, or contradict another’s perception of who and what the man might be is exclusionary, prejudicial and small. As for “picking on” people, my point was that Terry Nefarious bothered no one. She rarely posted a comment, says virtually nothing about anyone else’s words or opinions, and addressed only pmg in her post. Why has she no right to speak her mind? And what right have others to diminish her (or anyone) for speaking as freely as they?
I will leave your blog, as that seems to be what my arm is being subtly twisted for me (and other who do not meet with fan approval or standards) to do. Still such treatment does reflect badly on pmg. I say that as a person who logged on recently and was immediately put off by the behavior here.
If it is, indeed, a PUBLIC blog, why such treatment? Why act as though those who do not share a specific perception or view of pmg or his words is somehow subhuman and, therfore, unworthy to speak?
It is wrong, it is wrong, IT IS ABSOLUTELY wrong.
~M. Doland
P.S.
It might be wise to consider that because you do not know the person speaking, you do not know whereof they speak…or on what they base their opinions.
By Rachelle, June 7, 2010 @ 8:05 am
Hi Sammy – I’ve never experienced this but I’m sure others have. My Mom had experienced something simliar to you as a youngster and it did scare her at the time. I always found her memory on it very interesting.
Enjoy your Monday everyone, Rach
By FrancisOnline, June 7, 2010 @ 8:44 am
With due respect to you, Pam, it is unpleasant for those of us who do not consider ourselves “fans” to feel as though we can’t contribute or comment for fear of being immediately attacked by the hardcore enthusiasts. There are probably more of us than you think who are excluded from the blog due to such behavior. And I agree: it does seem rude, immature and inconsiderate. It also left me, as a person who isn’t really a big Paul Michael Glaser fan, with a greatly diminished opinion of the man based upon the behavior of his followers.
I’ve followed this blog since January and have not felt free to contribute because of the way others behave and conduct themselves, so I agree wholeheartedly with those who are stepping up to be heard now, because there are others of us who do not feel free to contribute or interact–and thereby utilize or appreciate the blog as individuals.
That is just a reality, and I ask that something be done to allow others to make use of this forum without the harsh criticism and inevitable put-downs from the die-hard fans.
If all are welcomed, then why are so many of us feel as we do?
F.
By zephie, June 7, 2010 @ 9:15 am
F.
I totally agree.
Zephie
By Christine, June 7, 2010 @ 10:02 am
This is madness. Is this what happens when you ‘dare’ to comment on a comment? Where did it say ‘don’t comment?’ we all comment on each others ok so you put Pmg, but people do that I write ‘Hi Paul’ quite often but don’t throw a fit if someone else dares to answer me. Maybe there should be like a little sign on the comments like a hotel room ‘do not disturb’ sign we can click if we are so sensitive to other’s having an opinion. Honestly, you try to be polite and it all still backfires on you somehow.
Is it really the words I speak which are upsetting…or the fact that I am obviously not a Paul Michael Glaser fanatic which has people up in arms? Well, if the man is the kind of person who only welcomes comments from those who think (or pretend to think) he walks on water, he would be a shallow, narcissistic person indeed.
Sorry, but this is uncalled for. It is both insulting to fans and maybe to Paul himself, very sad when you can’t admire/respect someone without being pulled down for it.
My apologises to Paul/Pam and other bloggers, I know only too well that this is not what the blog is for. Makes you wonder if its worth it sometimes huh?
Christine.
By FrancisOnline, June 7, 2010 @ 10:54 am
Christine,
First of all, you are way out of line. Why can you use petty terms such as “throw a fit” or be sarcastic, then accuse others of somehow acting inappropriate because of the words they choose.
Also, it is “very sad when you can’t [choose not] to admire/respect someone [to the same degree of others] without being pulled down for it.”
Why is it “insulting to Paul…” to state that any one–celebrity or not–who would start a blog that welcomed only die-hard fans would not be a person worth admiration. No one said Paul Glaser was those things, only that to react so personally and nastily to others on his behalf automatically reflects upon him.
Other people who visit this blog are lodging a specific complaint because certain attitudes and actions are objectionable to them. You don’t have to like or accept it, just understand that what some of you may view as harmless is making other people uncomfortable.
Why can’t we just ask that you all respect that without making it seem as though only certain people with certain views are free to comment?
To Pam:
My former comment was directed at you…but not about you. If my tone or language were too harsh or came off as personal censure, I am offering you a very honest apology. It was not meant that way; however, re-reading it, I can see where it probably sounded that way.
To All:
I give you my word, I will not log on to this blog again, offer any more comments, or an any way interfere with the exchanges here again. The message you have sent out is clear: “only hard-core fans need apply!” It just seems to me that there comes a time when those who began as teenage/youthful fans need to grow up and conduct themselves like the (mature) adult admirers they claim to be.
F.
By Christine, June 7, 2010 @ 11:18 am
Ok, this is not fair on either Paul, Pam or other bloggers. You have a problem with me e-mail me but leave the personal comments off Paul’s blog. Paul I apologise for all of this, but I still stand by my opinion that people are sometimes very disrespectful to you and I will defend, you are my inspiration always have always will be if others can’t handle that its their problem but for now I will keep off your blog until this all settles down. I have the upmost respect for you too much respect to let this go on and on.
With love to you as always,
Chrisitne.xx
By michaela804, June 7, 2010 @ 11:19 am
F.
I must agree with you before I sign off.
To Everyone
For the record I have felt insulted often but kept quiet (For example, I am always dismayed by the comments made about people of Christian faith or that faith in general, by the comments about people such as Michael Jackson, Mother Theresa, Prtincess Diana, etc. because they sound acrimoniously personal…and have nothing to do with anything Paul Michael Glaser said) but understand and respect the fact that others have a right to their own thoughts. Besides, they weren’t talking to me but to each other, so what is said is really none of my business. And finally, Paul Michael Glaser never posted any stipulations against it, it is HIS blog, and if it doesn’t bother him then who am I to “throw a fit.” Still, it makes those who might be just as passionate in their admiration of those figures as others are of P. Glaser feel excluded or insulted. It is not right, then, to allow certain regulars to say anything they chose without reprisal only to be so very nasty to others.
That’s all I have to say. I’d stayed away from the site long enough to have forgotten how people here behave. How quickly the reminder came.
M804
By carol4spot, June 7, 2010 @ 11:56 am
Ok, a little nervous to jump in here..but, I have to agree with Francis..I am a newcomer so take it easy on me. I agree in a sense that one can have their own opinion on what PMG shares. What I don’t agree with , however, is to have a poor opinion of PMG based on bickering bloggers. He has nothing to do with all the nonsense. He’s wonderful enough to open this site up to us and share. That’s just cool in itself. I think he is well aware of the position his thoughts may put him in because not everyone thinks the same. He is a big boy and I am sure he needs NO ONE to ‘defend’ him. I am still ‘feeling things out’ here before I am a so called ‘regular’. I am a firm believer in people sharing their opinions whether the masses agree or not. Happy to be here!!!!!! xo
By Saskia, June 7, 2010 @ 12:03 pm
“It is not right, then, to allow certain regulars to say anything they chose without reprisal only to be so very nasty to others.”
These certain regulars you talk about have been nothing but polite!!
So many times has she apologised to PAUL yes you are right it is HIS blog, that is why she is apologising that people keep continue to argue at her, and pull her to pieces!
It makes me so angry, that this is still going on, she did nothing and I repeat nothing wrong. She just refused to let someone say that Paul’s words were BS. Frankly I would say that was rather nasty and harsh and inpolite wouldn’t you?!
This argument needs to be STOPPED now. Christine has done nothing wrong. All of you who keep on and on and on about it are doing the damage here. Take a look at yourselves before you get on your high horses.
No regulars are out to ger you, maybe you need to mature, and stop prodding and poking until another argument flares up.
No-one reply to this; and STOP picking on the ‘regualr’ it just is down right bullying.
-Saskia
By Saskia, June 7, 2010 @ 1:56 pm
Thank you Chavie. I agree with you also.
Christine also told me to thank you, but she won’t be on the blog for a while, because she is very upset at the moment.
Saskia~
By valerie, June 10, 2010 @ 10:48 am
totally agree with your posts Pam.
I am sometimes disappointed when I read certain comments but it is the life of “the blog”.
have an excellent day and a lovely evening to all
valerie
¸♥ .•*´¨`*•.♥♥♥♥♥¸.•*´ ¨`*•.¸~☺☺♥♥♥♥
By heidi, June 16, 2010 @ 12:22 am
“Home is where you are loved”
taken from a story by Alex haley.
By kroselynn, June 27, 2010 @ 8:54 pm
I know I’m a little late with my response to this blog entry, but here are my comments anyway.
And maybe the notion of a world without right or wrong is offensive, even threatening to some, however, I believe that anything that we can identify as being beyond our comprehension is where we really want to go.That’s the place we speak of most often; heaven, eden, paradise, eternal peace, unending love. That’s the place that our minds can’t know and can only try to describe with words in an effort to quantify and qualify the experience of feeling. PMG.
The concept of a world without right or wrong is threatening so some. Yes, I agree.
However, that’s the place we all want to go.
That ‘world’ you’re speaking of is Heaven, Eden, Paradise, Eternal Peace, and Unending Love.
Not this Earth or more specifically, this Earth the way it is now.
Have most of your readers misunderstood what you meant here.
Maybe I’m the one misunderstanding….
That place that we all believe exists, were evil doesn’t, or can’t exist because the light from good is too bright.
When we get there, there will be no need to be able to differentiate between what’s right and what’s wrong.
Is that where the threatening part comes into play?
It’s threatening to some because we’ve all (or a lot of us) were brought up being taught (or drilled into our heads) what was right and what was wrong, and that you should do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do, and for no other reason.
If there was no need for the distinction between those two things in Heaven, then why the Hell did our parents (grandparents, aunts, uncles, and guardians) drive it into our heads at every opportunity?
And why do we (by ‘we’ I mean those of us who try to be ‘good people’) work so hard to do the right thing? Is it to receive a reward? To be the best person we can possibly be so it will INSURE our place in “Heaven” or whatever one chooses to call it? Hmmm.
We all want that so badly that we are willing to work for it, even if we really don’t have to. Christendom, or at least my little denomination in the left hand bottom corner of Michigan in a ridiculously small town, always taught me that Heaven was a gift, and that all we had to do was accept the gift, and all the ‘good things’ that I should be would just naturally fall into place.
Do I believe that? I’m not sure.
I do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. I don’t do it because I want some kind of ultimate reward. If one believes in the Bible, Humans have failed miserable all throughout history in being ‘good.’ If you’re a Christian, that’s why Jesus had to die on the cross, because ‘we’ failed at every attempt.
What I do know, is that I’m a good person. People tell me that all the time. As a matter of fact I had a little bout of depression because I thought I was TOO good. How does that work? I don’t know, but I had to have counseling for it.
How can ‘good’ exist if there is no ‘bad?’
How can “love” exist if there is no ‘hate?’
Do we HAVE to know what one is in order to know what the other one is?
I say no.
Why does there have to be an opposite of everything?
Why can’t love just exist without there being any hate?
Why can’t good exist without there being any bad?
Why not?
Why can’t right exist without there being any wrong?
People who are threatened by that will no doubt ask this: “How will we know if something is ‘right’ if we have nothing to compare it to? Don’t threaten what I already know! I know what’s right because I know what’s wrong!”
Hmmmm. I don’t agree.
You can be in that place, Heaven or Eden or whatever word a person gives it and everything is right. Everything is as it should be. You can feel that it is right without sensing any wrong. Right does exist without there being any wrong. Love does exist without hate. Good does exist without evil.
Someone needs a few pennies at the checkout. She has a baby in her shopping trolley and is buying milk, baby food, and formula. You can see she appears to be struggling and ‘poor.’ What’s the right thing to do? Give her a nickel? Or don’t do anything because you’re AFRAID of hurting her feelings? Who is the right person to do it? The cashier? You? The person in the next isle?
What is the wrong in that situation? Doing nothing? Doing something (because it might hurt her feelings)? Letting someone else do something? Ignoring it all? Moving to another cashier? Tell her about a good soup kitchen/mission that’s across town and offer to take her there?
What if YOU are poor too, and only have enough money to buy what YOUR baby needs?
Is it still wrong to NOT give her the nickel? Because if you do, your baby won’t have the things he/she needs. Is that selfishness?
Does everything that is evil, bad, and hateful come from one place?
Does it come from selfishness.
A world without the knowledge of good and evil is threatening because the ‘good people’ spend a lot of time and energy on doing ‘good deeds’ because it’s the right thing to do, but Paul (bless his heart!) is now saying something they can’t comprehend because it’s in direct conflict, total opposite, of the way they’ve been raised to think, believe and conduct themselves. They are being told that there is no right or wrong in Heaven.
So what will their minds do when they get there?
Is it our minds that don’t like the concept of ‘no right or wrong?’
Really. Seriously. If we won’t have to differentiate between right and wrong in Heaven, then what will it do? It won’t have to think about how to build a house, it’s already built. It won’t have to think about how to make it possible to travel from one place to another, Humans won’t ever get tired of walking or running. It won’t have to think about how to make food grow, it’s already done. What will be its function if it can’t ‘think?’
Is it our minds that are AFRAID of having nothing to do in Heaven?
The experience of feeling; our minds try to make sense of it but it can only describe it.
Our minds do not know how to feel.
Some have asked where feelings come from.
You (Paul) answered that already, they are an unknown to the mind.
The mind can’t feel, it can only describe feeling the best way it knows how to, and to send signals to your body to do whatever in accordance with that feeling.
For Example: If a bat suddenly comes swooping at your head, what do you do?
You duck. You run. You protect your head with your arms and hands.
Fear.
Flight or flight response.
What is it that creates what we know as the ‘feeling’ called ‘fear?’
The mind describes ‘Uh oh! A BAT! RUN!” So we run.
But, what happens that results in that flight or fight response?
Hormones. In response to the information from our senses.
In this case, sight. You see a bat, your brain responds with the fight or flight response.
Is your brain afraid of the bat? Or is it just responding to past knowledge of what a bat represents and trying to get you the Hell out of the bats way so you don’t get your blood sucked out through your neck….
Another example is Pheromones, one senses them from another and the feeling of being aroused is triggered, then triggering the release of hormones in them. Our mind tells us (describes to us): “Oh there are those pheromones again, that means the person standing in front of me is aroused, so now I’ll release those same hormones to arouse the body I’m attached to because this is what’s supposed to happen when I receive information from the nose that sense pheromones.
Is the mind aroused? Hmmmm, don’t think so. It’s just telling the rest of your body, or rather the important parts according to the situation, that those pheromones are present by triggering the proper glands to secrete the proper pheromones so that you will act accordingly as it pertains to the situation.
The mind doesn’t feel. It thinks.
I’m just typing my thoughts as they occur to me while pondering Paul’s words. I have no idea if I’m right about any of it yet. But, this is certainly an interesting journey I’m on. I find myself thinking a lot about things. Things I thought I already knew for sure….
I just am thinking through what I already know with the new information that Paul has so generously shared with his readers. I’m thinking about things differently now.
Have you ever been away from home for a vacation, and then came home and looked at that same things, the familiar things, even the landmarks in your town, and thought to yourself, “It all looks the same but…..it’s somehow different. But I can’t explain how it’s all different…..”
That’s what I’m feeling right now with what I already know. But, I don’t feel threatened by it all.
I feel….cheated.
I am getting, more and more, the feeling that I’ve been cheated all these years of my life because I was taught the way I was. Not that it was wrong, or bad, or evil, but that I didn’t get the whole truth…..because my parents and other ‘teachers’ didn’t know the whole truth.
I’m still hungry, Paul. Please give us more.
By pmglaser, April 21, 2011 @ 9:25 am
Dear fellow bloggers,
I want to apologize for the confusion and disruption. I would have posted this, but my password has been changed and I have had to log in with a ‘comment.’
Suffice to say, I have been trying to deal with this situation for a long time. Ms. Meserve has been a dedicated fan who built the PMG website without my knowledge ten, (I’m guessing) or eleven years ago. It is her website. For a while I participated by sharing my writings, photos, etc, even for the brief period when I was first contemplating self-publishing Chrystallia. For that period of time, the site was indeed the ‘official’ website for anyone interested in what I was doing.
However, while still self-publishing, I have moved in another direction with my book in an effort to see that it gets the best chance of connecting with the public.
This blog was also Ms. Meserve’s idea which I have participated in and enjoyed sharing my thoughts with you, albeit erratically. If you don’t mind the unpredictability with which I contribute, I would like to continue either as another commentator until I find another way to ‘post.’
In the interest of propriety, I would rather not discuss Ms. Meserve or the nature of this history, though I am sure, given the porous nature of our legal system, whatever information needs to be sold to the press will be made readily available.
Suffice to say, one one level I appreciate Ms. Meserve’s zeal and dedication, though I hope that she will eventually find some peace in letting go of whatever it is I have become for her. The pmg website that she has masterfully created is no longer the ‘official’ website. What Ms Meserve chooses to do with it will be her business. We are currently getting up our ‘Chrystallia’ website up to speed and that should have the info you need.
Thank you for your understanding, and thank you all for your birthday wishes.
I hope you find that Chrystallia will be worth the wait.
Respectfully,
pmg
By marly, April 21, 2011 @ 11:36 pm
Dear all,
For all involved in this sad affair I wish you strength, wisdom and compassion.
Marly
By hilly, April 22, 2011 @ 12:36 am
I agree with Marly.
By infidelabumpkin, April 22, 2011 @ 2:09 am
Hi Mr. Glaser
On this Good Friday, I wish and everyone would simply forgive each other and move on with their lives. May I reproduce your reply at my David Soul and Paul Michael Glaser unofficial website?
May I be frank and ask some questions? I am so VERY FAR away. (If I were near David Soul I’d probably stalk him until he sings me a song or two… ) But then again, I wonder if its true that Pam is disabled and how a disabled person can threaten a life. My father is as old as you are and I cannot in all honesty beat him when we have our head banging discussions and I am not disabled. Second observation is that it seems that the ‘news’ was a press release and that was what bothered me. (I am a journalist and I know when news is REALLY news or if it comes in that pro-forma form). Now, to Pam, why’d you lock out Paul Glaser from his site? Now, Pam THAT is NOT NICE. I wish you both peace on this Easter Season and Pam, please don’t lock Paul out of his own site. But whatever you do/did Pam, I’m your friend and I am inviting you to a beach holiday when you get over all this. Then perhaps we can go to the UK because I’d really wish to stalk David Soul because he didn’t marry me when I was eight years old and that makes me very angry. Of course, David Soul may be kinda old, but I am willing to take care of him. Hey…why don’t you all loosen up? WE should love one another and have fun in our lives.. You guys live in one of the richest countries in the world and seems you have no zen at all ! Pam, please do let Paul ‘in’ his site okay? Luv yah!
By Jo, April 22, 2011 @ 2:12 am
I feel so sad for both of you. Paul you have been so generous with the amount you have given to us fans and I feel, maybe in your generosity it has led some fans to view you as “A personal friend”. Whilst I appreciate the time and dedication you have shown to us all, maybe it is time for you to step away a bit. Maybe Twitter is the way to go, hey everyone’s doing it! LOL You have a right to your privacy and “Starsky” was a long time ago. Maybe, much as we’d miss it, now is the time to regain your life away from the fans. I have been fortunate to meet you. I hope I wasn’t an intrusion. I certainly never did the stage door bit, but was lucky enough to spend time with you in LA and I shall always remember your humor, your kindness, and your genuine interest in what I had to say.
I wish you luck with your book Paul and hope it brings pleasure to those who read it.
I count Pam as my dear friend, I have to come to know her through this site and from meeting with her. I hope that this whole sorry business can be resolved soon with as little pain as possible on both sides. Deep down we’re all just people, doing what people do.
I am so sad, and so sorry for both of you that it has come to this.
With love and blessings to both of you Jo xx
By Annie, April 22, 2011 @ 2:26 am
All the best, Paul. I’m sure your heart is in the right place.
Many good wishes from a fan in Australia
By Softly, April 22, 2011 @ 3:52 am
Eloquent response by mr Glaser. I wish for all the ability to move forward and find our way home.
Moving Softly
By Fernanda, April 22, 2011 @ 4:04 am
Dear paul!! I wish you the best…I´ll follow you wherever you go… as I´m doing along the last 35 years…!!! Thanks for sharing a part of your life and thoughts with us!!! I can´t believe I´m talking to you right now… though I really can feel it!!
Wish you all the peace, love and friendship care you´re longing for -and deserving-!!!
Kisses, Fer
By Nadine, April 22, 2011 @ 4:28 am
Tres cher Paul ! cette affaire ne regarde que Pam et vous j’aime beaucoup Pam et je vous admire beaucoup ! aucune de nous ne devons mettre de commentaire en critiquant l’un ou l’autre ! tout ce que nous vous demandons est de pouvoir encore communiquer avec vous et moi je garderai l’amitie que j’ai pour Pam !
Continuez a nous faire rêver !
Amitié Nadine
By noonespecial, April 22, 2011 @ 4:59 am
Very gracious response, Mr. Glaser.
By fee, April 22, 2011 @ 6:07 am
I agree with Marly and Hilly. Love and compassion to all involved.
Fee
By lori876, April 22, 2011 @ 6:42 am
Dear Paul,
Thank you for reaching out to the people on this blog who sincerely appreciate and love you. I have been very concerned about you since the news broke. I appreciate your honesty but at the same time, I respect your privacy.
I’m looking forward to the Chrystallia book and new website. Your blog posts are always thought provoking and have helped me along the way.
I’m sending you a big hug, Lori
By hilly, April 22, 2011 @ 7:40 am
continue on your paths…we all get there in the end one way or another.
By maureen, April 22, 2011 @ 8:48 am
Paul and Pam..I wish you both peace ..no one wins in these situations
Maureen
By Sandie, April 22, 2011 @ 9:22 am
Dear Paul
Since this isn’t your official website anymore, we would wish to offer you the domain name dearpaulmichaelglaser.com I purchased it because there was a time I was annoyed by some regulars here. I can also probably ask my best friend to let you say anything you want at
her site, http://paulmichaelglaser.info which is a shared site along with David Soul but it has one of the biggest live traffic on the web. I understand that it is a peaceful site and that it is about you and David Soul. I think Pam should give you this website completely and practice what she preaches. I also own the domain podblogging.com which might be ideal and easier for you. Please contact me at if you’re interested in any of the domain names or even the other site. BTW, I live in Michigan so I won’t be around to stalk you.
Sandie
By Sammy, April 22, 2011 @ 9:55 am
Marly and Hilly.. I agree with you.
Good things never last: I had heard but didn’t want to believe it when Paul had shared his thoughts with us so generously. That was something I believed that will last forever. But then … nothing is permanent.
It is so sad to see this blog coming to an end when this was the only place I used to visit, comment and discuss.
By Sandie, April 22, 2011 @ 10:10 am
Pam, if you should choose not to post this I just wanted to let you know that I have also posted it at TMZ.
Sandie
By infidelabumpkin, April 22, 2011 @ 10:28 am
Sandie, hey! We don’t know the whole story do we? Why jump into conclusions without pertinent details? All we can do is wish Paul and Pam peace and love. You never know. Perhaps this is just a fleeting misunderstanding and we could all be sorry for making premature conclusions.
By infidelabumpkin, April 22, 2011 @ 10:31 am
I love you Sandy but you’re so wrong. Gossip isn’t fact.
By PamT, April 22, 2011 @ 10:35 am
Dear PMG
Many thanks for clarifying matters, although I regret that you have been placed in the unenviable position of having to do so. I continue to take the view that you have much of value to share and will look forward to reading more of your thoughts, be they here, another site or within the pages of Chrystallia itself.
I don’t think there is probably any one of us who cannot find a deeper awareness of our attachments and aversions, whether overwhelming/compulsive in nature or more subtle, and examining what lies beneath them. Finding that awareness is undeniably more challenging at some junctures in our lives, but I do think that it’s perhaps at these times that we have the potential to allow more light to be shed.
Pam, I suspect you will be reading this. I’m not judging you and I’m sure many have appreciated your hard work. I feel I have gained a huge amount from PMG’s blog, and prior to this some of the speeches and articles published on the website (which I came across in the midst a very difficult time for me), so I’m grateful for the part you’ve played in getting it all out and available. You know, there really are a multitude of different ways to apply your skills and ‘make a difference’ and I sincerely hope you are able to find a place where you can experience fulfilment, contentment and peace of mind.
May all be happy, may all be healthy, may all live in safety and may all live with ease.
PamT
By Sandie, April 22, 2011 @ 10:35 am
Infidelabumpkin or pumpkin or whoever you are, how much clearer does it need to be than for Paul to say it is NOT his “official site”? Gossip isn’t fact…you’re right…..but Paul living in fear for himself and his family fact. Bless you Paul.
By infidelabumpkin, April 22, 2011 @ 10:47 am
Hey Sandie, just because he’s paranoid doesn’t mean he’s right. Hey.. cool it.
By Sandie, April 22, 2011 @ 10:53 am
Pam, I noticed before that you removed Chavie from here when she and I had our disagreement. My question to you is that I thought this was a sight to express our thoughts and feelings and when we do you delete it. Jimbo used to be here also….and there was a dying girl. The “regulars” often trash others but many other posts are unfairly taken off. So where is the freedom of expression? Anyone who disagreed was removed and for some reason Hilly always won.
Sandie
By sknash, April 22, 2011 @ 12:28 pm
Paul,
Whether you know it or not, and while this might not be the best time, I did want to let you know there is a site out there dedicated to you at http://www.paulmichaelglaserfans.com. This site was launched on your birthday about two years ago. I do not know if you have ever seen it but it is there and filled with tons of clips, photos, etc. A lot of time and effort went into this site all to thank you for what you have done for me in my life and in all of us fans lives. You are welcome to have every bit of those photos, clips, etc. I will gladly give it all to you if you choose or if you would like to check the site out, please feel free. It is there for you. I stopped updating a while ago due to some family issues, but think now is the time to keep it alive. So if you desire, visit it and would love to know your thoughts. We try to keep fans updated on your progress and especially with Chrystallia coming out, keeping us appraised of that. Thank you again for the light in my life and I do apologize for the issues. Wishing you a most Blessed Easter, Passover or just plain Happy Spring. If you have any questions, you can reach me at . But like I said, it is yours for the taking if you would like it.
By infidelabumpkin, April 22, 2011 @ 12:35 pm
Sandie
For you
By Sarah L, April 22, 2011 @ 12:56 pm
I’m confused. I thought that Chavie and Infidelabumpkin were one and the same.
By Sarah L, April 22, 2011 @ 1:02 pm
Pam T,
Well said! I’ve enjoyed the blog and fansite. I’ve made some wonderful friends though both.
Pam M, I hope you find happiness in future projects.
Paul, I also wish happiness for you. I’m a very much looking forward to reading your book. I feel sure it will be something that I can enjoy with my daughter. Thank you for the interest you have shown in the comments posted throughout the blog and for sharing some of your thoughts with us. I hope that at some point you will feel able to do that again.
Kind Regards,
Sarah.
By Christine, April 22, 2011 @ 1:50 pm
Hi Paul, Thank you for your comments. From the amount of messages its clear people care about you.
This situation is so sad. Your comments are very gracious Paul. I really do hope things work out fine for you.
Pam, if you are reading this, you have indeed been great on this blog. I hope you find peace of mind. That can be such a hard thing to do.
Anyway on this rather sad note, thank you to both of you for this blog.
Paul, I hope you have great success with your book. You are still my inspiration!
Take good care everyone,
Christine. xx
By sstormc, April 22, 2011 @ 6:21 pm
Okay, please pardon my earlier comment that Paul’s post had been removed. I see that it is here in this thread. All I would like to say, Mr. Glaser, is that I have very much enjoyed reading your thoughts, and it is my hope that you will find a place to continue your blogging. I eagerly await the release of your book and wish you all the best.
By Sohoyank, April 22, 2011 @ 8:10 pm
I’ve enjoyed and respected the years of work Mr. Glaser had done within the entertainment industry. I’m also aware of his enjoyment of philosophy and poetry and wish him well with it. What I also know is that when you write things down for the purpose of others to read, it should be understandable and to the point, unless the genre calls for otherwise. I’m sorry, but, I don’t find this stuff “deep”, I find it a confusing ramble. It’s not good writing if people cannot understand what they’re reading. I don’t have the time to analyze and decipher exactly what is being said here. It’s not good writing if everyone in here has a different point of view, or has to reread this several times, or have to ask their husbands what it means.
If Mr. Glaser is reading this, I hope he understands where I’m coming from. No disrespect is intended.
By dogodigger, April 22, 2011 @ 9:21 pm
Paul,
Thank you for your aplomb and honesty.
By xtexan86, April 22, 2011 @ 11:16 pm
Just some observations coming from a tired mind-
We seem to live in a world immersed in different points of view…kinda like the “A” and “B” sides on the old 45 records.
This morning, looking out of my hotel window, I watched as the sunrise slowly lit up a snow-covered mountain on the northern boundary of Yellowstone National Park. Not far away on an open hillside, a herd of 20 elk were quietly grazing. For the first 10 miles on my way to the airport, I saw a buffalo, a mule deer and one bald eagle, each just 10-20 feet away, on the shoulder of the road. In contrast, I only saw 4 cars. Seven hours later I was crossing the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, each of its six lanes full of traffic. Montana and California can be worlds away from each other, but thankfully, both feel comfortable to me.
While on the plane, I slowly thumbed through an “US” magazine, looking at the ‘beautiful’ people. Seems like achieving Hollywood star status doesn’t take much these days, but I digress. For those people who more than one in a thousand can recognize, I’m sure celebrity-dom can be a mixed bag. I’ll admit, there are times when I wish I could walk in their shoes, but then clarity hits and I realize anonymity can be priceless.
The point I’m trying to make, albeit poorly, is that I can appreciate someone who tries to make sense of how we, as humans, view this world. SoHo – I do agree with you, many times I fail to understand the message PMG is trying to make, but others seem to catch on and through their eyes, I get a clearer picture. That he takes the time to share, is appreciated and I’ll say, reading his latest post, that the man knows a little something about integrity.
Many of those magazine ‘celebs’ I read about today don’t seem to have any real talent to speak of, other than possessing a set of perfect body genes. Unlike these yahoos, I can respect PMG’s desire to want to contribute something worthwhile in a topsy-turvy world.
Whichever website HE decides to make his home, I hope PMG continues to share his views with us. xt
By hilly, April 23, 2011 @ 3:17 am
I take part in a discussion group of ‘Buddhist Travelers’ elsewhere and we were discussing the ideas of detachment and compassion. This was what I wrote and I thought maybe we need to come back to the idea of compassion here on this blog.
The Buddhist meaning of detachment is slightly different from what the word normally means in English. Detachment in Buddhism is connected with renunciation. The word renunciation in English is also misleading, for it implies that we have to give up everything and go live in a cave. Although there are examples of people like Milarepa who did give up everything and live in a cave, what they did is referred to by a different word, not the word that is translated as “renunciation” or “detachment”. The word that has been translated as “renunciation” actually means “the determination to be free”. We have a strong determination: “I must get out of my own problems and difficulties. My mind is totally firm on that goal.” We want to give up our ego games because we are determined to be free from all the problems they cause. This does not mean that we have to give up a comfortable house or the things that we enjoy. Rather, we are trying to stop the problems that we have in relation to these objects. That leads us to detachment.
Being detached does not mean that we cannot enjoy anything or enjoy being with anyone. Rather, it refers to the fact that clinging very strongly to anything or anyone causes us problems. We become dependent on that object or person and think, “If I lose it or cannot always have it, I am going to be miserable.” Detachment means, “If I get the food I like, very nice. If I do not get it, okay. It is not the end of the world.” There is no attachment or clinging to it.
(Revised excerpt from
Berzin, Alexander and Chodron, Thubten.
Glimpse of Reality.
Singapore: Amitabha Buddhist Centre, 1999. )
This extract goes some way to enlarge on the problem of detachment and the definitions.
This is a concept of freeing oneself from the ties of conventional life…to free ourselves to observe our development – spiritually and psychologically (and the two are intertwined).
Take this statement : This does not mean that we have to give up a comfortable house or the things that we enjoy. Rather, we are trying to stop the problems that we have in relation to these objects.
In becoming detached we learn to see our possessions and our creature comforts as adjuncts to our lives – they are not essential to our existence but they ease it and therefore make it easier to attain that state in which we can easily regard where we are and where we wish/hope/strive to be. NOT, I hasten to say in terms of ‘ambition’ but in terms of spiritual comfort.
It seems to me that PMG (and I emphasize that this is my interpretation – maybe if I’m wrong he will explain) takes the ability to attain detachment as a necessary point for compassion.
I think that this is a better starting point for seeking to understand detachment and compassion than the text I have quoted above.
Another misinterpreted word. Compassion is not pity (a somewhat negative but at the same time self-gratifying emotion). It is (for the want of a better word) kindness – but again at a level away from the traditional definitions. In this context it may be that compassion is akin to ‘the comfort of strangers’…dispassionate (because disinterested – but not uninterested) concern for the well being – our own, that of others, that of the world around us and, by extension detached
In order to achieve compassion for others we need to achieve it for ourselves…and so we need to observe ourselves without the ‘extras’ /’ties’- without the emotional and physical baggage that makes us who and what we are. And in order to do this – in order to see ourselves from ‘afar’ or from the outside looking in – we also need to see the within – we need to learn to detach ourselves from that very part of our consciousness that restrains compassion.
Because we can not have compassion for ourselves unless we can learn not to allow our own emotional perception of ourselves to cloud that ‘judgment’…and in this context judgment does not mean ‘criticism’ – it means the balancing of our ‘pros’ and our ‘cons’ and an understanding of where we are….
We need to understand judgment….use our ‘better judgment’ to know when to detach…and to recognize that we are detached; and then we can look with compassion – complicity and (positive) emotion – with empathy – at ourselves.
And once we have learned to achieve the detachment that helps us to understand ourselves with compassion, we can regard those around us with compassion too.
and that is what we need here….compassion and a little detachment
By sstormc, April 23, 2011 @ 8:47 am
What attracts me to Paul’s written thoughts here on this blog is their similarity to mine. When we are on a spiritual journey and trying to make sense of things, it is wonderful to find like-minds who want to share with you. PMG’s celebrity status really has nothing to do with it, except that it gives us the comfort zone of knowing with whom we are speaking. He has no comfort zone in dealing with us, which makes his efforts all the more magnanimous, in my opinion. If you don’t understand what he is trying to say, perhaps you are simply not on the same page, so to speak, and his blog isn’t for you. I sincerely hope PMG finds a suitable venue to continue posting what he has to say, and that despite what has happened here, he will allow those of us who want to participate in the discussion to do so.
By HILDA LIPRACE, April 23, 2011 @ 6:43 pm
Thanks Paul, for his words, if you are looking for a place to write their reflections, on facebook there is a small group that llama.fan ‘s of Starky and Hutch, I am the administrator, as the person who created it, for work reasons I left him in charge, is an open place, would be an honor for us all, you write your reflections, is a humble but full of love, waiting for the opening of his blog. I respect and admire with all my heart, the only posibildad there you integrate this group is that someone is a friend of you on facebook, to invite, we are a group of people who love you and David, and over 35 years. that we, in everything you undertake, good luck and many blessings to you on tour to promote his book with respect and admiration for the group, fan’s of Starsky and Hutch, we all make this group possible, God bless you, thanks from me, for being a human being filled with light-Hilda
By HILDA LIPRACE, April 23, 2011 @ 7:29 pm
Who owns? …………………
By HILDA LIPRACE, April 23, 2011 @ 7:37 pm
I will say this, many say, thank Paul for his honesty, and many spoke very badly of Paul, I do not like, really, I do not judge, but can be more honest please, I like the truth, and is that the truth will out, ♥
By KimDeStefanis, April 23, 2011 @ 8:39 pm
Hello fellow bloggers! Some of you may remember me from many, many moons ago! I was around when AOL was just a baby, and accessing CompuServe required a numeric log-in.
I started writing to Paul in 1996. We shared many a snail-mail letters (Paul, your handwriting will always be the most “unique” I have ever witnessed), and I founded the first online fan club, “PMG Fans Online”. With Paul’s permission, at the time, I started his first official website. And I knew from the get-go he valued ONE thing above all else…his privacy.
Day after day I would deal with hundreds of people writing to me, emailing me, hounding me for recent news of PMG, or for his personal information, or his personal email or home address. I guess I became what some people would consider as “aloof”, because I would not/could not give them what they were asking (demanding) of me. Soon, what started as a labor of love, became a chore. I had to deal with back-stabbing, verbal abuse, and a myriad of other issues from over-zealous fans.
When Paul sent me his jacket and sweater from the S&H series, and I auctioned it off for a great deal of money, more rumors started. I was proud and very happy to have raised over $35,000 for The EGPAF, but soon jealous fans made it into something less….something that made me sick to my stomach.
So, as time went on, I knew what I had to do. For myself and for the man I admired so dearly. I stepped down. I cut myself off from the fans completely, and I never looked back. Until now.
I know where PMG is coming from. He has never pretended to be something he’s not, and those who truly respect him know what he’s all about. Asking or expecting anything else from him is self-serving and blatantly selfish.
I am sure that this will be taken down immediately, but for those who read it, stand behind the man you have admired all these years. He deserves nothing but the best.
Over and out!
By hilly, April 23, 2011 @ 10:41 pm
Kim I remember your site from the days of computers run by steam the size of a room LOL.
By patriciac, April 24, 2011 @ 3:51 am
Kim – thank you for your insight on your experience running Paul’s site. You truly did it as a labor of love and I can understand how you decided to step down given the problems caused by over-zealous and abusive fans.
I think that those of us who really care for Paul respect his privacy. Just because a person is a ‘celebrity’ doesn’t give anyone the right to pry into their private life.
Hilda, could you please give the exact link to your site? Thank you.
Pam, I am wondering if you should still be posting on this blog. If you have been accused of stalking Paul, is this wise? What does your lawyer think?
By Softly, April 24, 2011 @ 3:57 am
Ruminating
With resent events in the world of PMGFans two thoughts keep chasing through my mind, one is the thought about a quote by Mr Glaser.
And I quote:
“Celebrity is an odd experience in that the object of celebrity often becomes a canvas where others get to paint their needs, their fantasies. We all have a need to ‘celebritize,’ to take someone we ‘connect’ with and see our own humanity in and make them more than human, make them more powerful than us. We make them our heroes who, we fantasize, don’t have to deal with the fear of powerlessness like we do. We then want to touch them, adore them, have something of them, an autograph, a ‘hello’ a photo. We need to put them there and we resent any effort or occurrence that makes them human. It’s as if we want to have our cake and eat it too. We want our ‘gods’ and at the same time we need them to be human, so we tear them down, or sacrifice them…”
(blog: Reactions – date 15 January 2010)
No sooner than the news spread through the grapevine that a fan closest to the celebrity was no longer as close, other fans are trying to get to where they thought she once was. To me it looked a lot like a scene from a department store having a huge sale. People tumbling over one and other trying to get in first, not caring who they push over as long as they can get a hold of the priced item. Poking eyes out left and right.
Pushing the one who has been minding the store for a long time out of the way with not one once of respect. I totally understand her need to lash out and defend herself. By which I don’t say that I understand her way of minding the store, and I don’t need too, all I needed to do was to visit and enjoy and respect the store.
I fail to see the point of bitching and bullying anyone anywhere anyway but here on this blog it seems more that odd. I went over the posts by Mr. Glaser again and some of responses by others and the themes that leap out are learning to understand yourself, your fears, your love, compassion, exploring the world inside and out on an emotional, spiritual and social plain. My kind of place, a place for good, but every now and then bitching and bullying seems to creep in and disregards the good intentions of the blog.
I found a lot of joy here and a lot of learning and dare I say a glimpse of a connection with the human I choose to admire, I had my crumbs of cake and enjoyed them thoroughly and to all who made that possible I say thank you.
The second thing that runs through my mind in a song by the “Police“ (no pun intended) “If you love somebody set them free”
If we dare to call our admiration for Mr. Glaser love, why try and pin him down, fight over who gets his seal of approval or the right to stand next to him or a piece of the shirt of his back. Why not step aside and enjoy the man, his work and his shirt.
Mr Glaser told us where he stands and where he needs to move and as far as I can tell all we need to do is to “set him free”.
Giving someone freedom does not mean turning your back or judging every next step. In life we all need to let go of ideas, fears, hang-ups and crutches, and in this case some will have to let go of more than others. But the beauty of letting go is gaining freedom.
Being free to set someone you love free is to respect someone’s next step on a path you have not chosen. If the love is pure and the freedom complete all will grow and lift the world up to a higher level.
But mind you….no one said it will be easy or pain free.
Till we meet again I remain forever learning and treading Softly.
By logical, April 24, 2011 @ 6:24 am
Hi Torinoguy, so you’re telling us that it could me that everything in this website is a fake? Would you please explain this because this could be logical but it is dishonest. Are you actually telling us that Pam and PMG are together in this so-called scam?
By xtexan86, April 24, 2011 @ 10:33 am
Geez, what a circus…God, I’d truly love to win the lottery some day, but please, never, EVER, give me the curse of being a celebrity.
Softly – well put, woman.
Kim – totally see your point. Thanks for proving that some people can be trusted with confidentiality.
Torinoguy – I own one, too. I can also understand your skepticism. Who really knows why the timing for this ‘announcement’ came when it did. But I do believe, until PROVEN otherwise, that Paul’s blogs are his.
As for the people, or person, posting here under multiple names, YOU really need to look in a mirror. Same goes to those fighting over who gets to be the next ‘liason.’
Paul, set up your own website, guy. It isn’t hard, just keep it simple…and from you. That’s all a true fan wants. XT
By Christine, April 24, 2011 @ 12:41 pm
Hi Marly, Well said!. Please everyone this is really not helping the situation at all. Can we not just show some respect on here?.
Surely one of the reasons we have been posting here is that we admired/respected Paul for his work, his outlook on life?. None of that has changed. So the story is out there and look what happens?.
It seems like its a chance for some to be totally insensitive to others and at a time when we ought to be showing support.
We don’t know the facts only Paul and Pam know the score. Frankly, it is their business. But for those who are trying to pull Paul apart understand that he is cared about, and most of us are about as loyal as can be!.
Best wishes,
Christine.
By Sandie, April 24, 2011 @ 1:39 pm
I agree that it is time for Pam to give up the site, to give it to Paul. From what I know Pam was previously offered Paulmichaelglaser.info so that she would have something to do and she declined it. Pam and logical (Chavie) are friends in one facebook group called PACT. That is why logical is being as kind as possible. Personally, I am concerned that Pam could become too depressed and “go off the deep end” harming herself. I know for a fact that logical is more of a David Soul fan and they have met in person. Pam, I have never asked you for an autograph or anything else but now I am asking you for your own well being and sanity to please turn this site over to Paul. We take our friends seriously and are always there to support them, even if they should get a little crazy.
By HILDA LIPRACE, April 24, 2011 @ 4:05 pm
By patriciac, if you have facebook, I hope your friend request, there is, the group, and is also a group that is free.’s David Soul. much love ♥
my name hilda liporace
By BeckyB, April 24, 2011 @ 9:52 pm
@torinoguy, seriously? a publicity stunt? you gotta be kidding me. I do believe that Paul’s posts are his, and his most recent response is his also.
I am trying to decide whether I should post my own experiences with Paul here, but then again, maybe not. What I can say though, is that I deeply respect Paul (never having met the man), and respect his privacy. IMO, we are all just fans, and he doesn’t owe us anything.
Hey Kim, Paul does have the most incredible hand writing I have ever seen. I am thinking that’s why he went to email, haha. Paul, if you are reading this, thanks for your most recent response!
By HILDA LIPRACE, April 24, 2011 @ 9:56 pm
this mail belongs to the group who made the covenant, I disagree, I like truth and justice, I can not lie, I volunteered to be part of that group, the problems of Pam and Paul are they will have their reasons, I started to be on this blog in 2009, and then go to facebook, Paul, as he asked him, I am and learned to use the computer, for this wonderful man, and I am forever grateful for the wonderful times, meaning through the series, in my teens, and shared his thoughts now, and I will not pass a bad time, because he is the protagonist, is that we and love, he is the Mr Paul Michael Glaser …….. ♥
By BeckyB, April 24, 2011 @ 10:16 pm
There is one thing that I have learned in my 44 years on this planet, is that sometimes you have to just walk away from a bad situation, instead of waiting it out or hoping it will get better.
If I were in your shoes right now Pam, I would walk away from this web site and start over with something else, before I got in deeper do-do.
I’ve had to walk away from situations just to keep my sanity. However, rather than quiting my last job, which was making me ill, I stuck it out like an idiot until I was finally laid off with a lot of other employees and they paid me to leave (severence package). The moral is that sometimes life sucks and it isn’t all warm, fuzzy kittens and warm, shiny light and everyone loving each other. How ever much we try to love others, sometimes they just do not love you back.
By pmglaser, April 24, 2011 @ 10:19 pm
I would offer the following.
As some have commented, it is not important to know details. This is a private matter that has gone public by the very nature of me being a celebrity and having a web-site and a blog.
I chose to do something I have been avoiding for a long time. Why is not important, other than to feed the need to find some answer to yet another unknowable and put us in touch with the helplessness of not knowing, not be able to do anything.
To that end, I want to thank you for your support for Ms. Meserve.
I want to clarify that to my knowledge, she has never written something in my name, nor has she scammed anyone. She is a very bright, hard working person who took it upon herself to create the PMG Website that I became aware of 11 years ago.
‘Why’ is her business.
The blog was also her idea that I think you’ll all agree has had some benefit in terms of opening a dialogue about some things we don’t get to explore on an everyday basis.
Any fan mail/picture requests that did not get fulfilled is completely my fault and I apologize. Ms. Meserve was nothing if not persistent that I answer all requests.
Ms Meserve did not pocket any monies donated to the EGPAF. She was a valued volunteer and would never do that.
And I did not let Ms. Meserve go as a publicity stunt. Yes, I have my book coming out and it in fact would have been much easier to have the PMG website on board.
Clearly, there was a problem that I finally had to act on. The ramifications with regard to fans and the blog are unfortunate, obviously necessary, and I appreciate your sensitivity to Ms. Meserve situation and your gestures of support for her.
And no, Ms Meserve did not write this.
I will not address this again. I don’t think it’s necessary to do or say anything more, however I wanted to clarify some things I had read.
I hope to get a site and blog up when I come up for air.
Be well,
PMG
By hilly, April 24, 2011 @ 11:28 pm
well said Marly. It isn’t fair to either Pam or PMG to go on bickering like this on this site – whoever it belongs to. It bears his name and she created it….just leave it alone.
Those of you who want to go on slinging mud have been given plenty of other forum addresses to play on….but I suppose it won’t be as much fun as making allegations here where they hurt the most will it?
By hilly, April 24, 2011 @ 11:57 pm
I would add that although the First Amendment leads to a debate about this the concept of sub judice exists in US law and could be construed to apply here:
here’s the definition:
Sub judice refers to a mattter before a court or a judge, under judicial consideration and not yet decided. When a matter has yet to be proved or disproved in a court case it is sub judice and unable to be discussed or stated as a fact in public. By not referring to matters that are sub judice, the rights to a fair trial are protected because it ensures that a potential jury is not influenced by misinformation or false claims.
By torinoguy, April 25, 2011 @ 2:59 am
@Pam – it was 10 years ago Pam that I sent you one picture of Paul to get signed, with a $100 donation to the EGPAF, for which I never did get any kind of reply from them. I sent my pic, M/O and return envelope to your old Mass. address. So what did you do for me? Maybe you sent it onto him, maybe you signed it yourself. Who knows. Water under the bridge. FOr the rest of you, I guess reading English is an issue, so let’s look at this again, maybe as Starsky and Hutch would look at it. Go onto the PMG facebook page. There are hundreds, maybe thousands of comments on there from fans all over the world – does PMG ever reply? Ever? No. So that would lead me to believe he has little or no part in it, or does not care to reply to the fans. Then there is this site, which is really well done, but, is there any one single paragraph from PMG thanking Pam for her work? Any place? Is there one direct reply from Paul to any fan about a question or comment? Not that I can find. The above message by PMG could have been written by anyone. Usually in legal matters, or matters before the courts, silence is the way. This is why, after looking at things objectively, perhaps PMG has contributed some articles here, but there is no interaction from him. Further, as I stated above, PMG is almost unknown these days. So some free publicity on a major Internet magazine wouldnt hurt. I can tell you, that if it was me, and I had to issue a protection order against someone who was after me, I would keep that information confidential and not broadcast it to the world. So if you think about it, alot of people now know about PMG, and the upcoming book, and his tour etc. That news even made it over to a London England newspaper. So its literally worldwide now on paper. Its just my opinion. As with this whole big weblog, there is little fact and even less proof. Just alot of accusations going back and forth, some making PMG out to be the bad guy. And I still find it strange that PMG would dismiss PAm after so many years. To me, that’s the part that makes the least sense. So, @logical, that is my opinion. If I was in Pam’s shoes, I would be looking for a good lawyer, as something like this could follow her around for the rest of her life. ANy time she’d go for a job, or anything requiring a background check, this might come up that she is a stalker and had a restraining order against her.
So, in closing, I am not against Pam or PMG in any way. I am looking at this from the point of view as to how to get the message out that a new book is hitting the shelves soon, and I need some good and fast publicity. Well it worked, as we are all here discussing it.
Like I say, its just my opinion, I have no proof of this either one way or the other. I do hope that all turns out well. Peace and Long Life.
Stuart Q.
By logical, April 25, 2011 @ 3:52 am
@Hilda, that is Sandie’s email. What covenant are you talking about? There is nothing about Paul Michael Glaser if you mean the Facebook group PACT. Most of the videos and talks there are about people who want to share recipes, prayers and problems. PACT friendships. I don’t think Pam or Paul’s problems are being discussed there at all… in fact when I last checked the video that everyone was talking about is Manny Pac. Is that a problem? It is a closed group so that people can pray, share and exchange opinions. You like Manny Pacquio’s podcasts or Lica de Guzman music? I don’t see what you are saying.
By Disgusted, April 25, 2011 @ 5:04 am
What would Maria di Pietra say…………..?
By sstormc, April 25, 2011 @ 6:22 am
Mr. Glaser, Thank you for another reply, although it looks as if it may get lost in this mess of bickering. It truly must be difficult to be a celebrity, and I certainly wouldn’t want that status! I look forward to the day when you are ready to blog again. I wish you the best.
By Christine, April 25, 2011 @ 7:00 am
Hi Paul, Thank you once again for your wise words. Its just a shame that you have been put into this position of having to go on here and try to explain a situation that is so personal.
I do find it disappointing that something as wonderful as your blog has been turned recently into this, I hope for your sake, and Pam’s that this situation will cool down soon and people allow you to have your privacy. Take good care of yourself Paul.
With love as always,
Christine xx
By Sarah L, April 25, 2011 @ 8:37 am
Paul,
Once again, thank you for your kind and dignified response. I hope you get the peace you need to move on with your book and any other future projects.
Becky,
Yes! Sometimes it’s best to walk away. I agree with you.
Torino Guy,
To my knowledge this story came from a TMZ investigator/journalist, whatever you want to call them. I feel pretty sure that Paul did not run to journalists with it. It’s very easy to find out about papers that have been filed. That’s how a lot of these tabloid sites get their information.
I don’t know who ‘disgusted’ is but I agree with you about Maria. Yesterday I saw a site where there was a lot of bickering going on regarding the restraining order. Lots of ‘I think he said/did’ and ‘I think she said/did.’ The thought crossed my mind that Maria would have been so upset to see so many friends falling out with one another in this way. She was one of the kindest people I ever had the pleasure to meet and she taught me a lot about compassion. Can’t we all accept that what has happened has happened for a reason and move on from it?
Best Wishes,
Sarah.
By Rachelle, April 25, 2011 @ 9:28 am
Hi Paul
Thank you for your response and I wish you both peace and privacy at this time.
Take care, Rach
By Sammy, April 25, 2011 @ 9:30 am
Dear Paul; I only have to add to what Christine has already said. It is indeed a shame to be put into a situation to come back and clarify the past and the present, when obviously you do not have to. You taking time off to do just that shows what a humble, sincere and responsible person you are. I am glad I had a chance to learn from what you had to teach/share. For that I consider myself very lucky. I hope you will be able to connect and share your thoughts with us again in the near future. Please take care of yourself. The world needs people like you. We need you.
I thank Pam for creating this site and bringing as all together. If not for you we would never have been able to hear Paul’s thoughts. I have met some lovely people here. Thank you so much Pam and please take care of yourself. You are loved.
I think for all of us this is the right time to put to practice what Paul has been saying all along in his blog: Do Not Judge!
Happiness always!
Sammy.
By xtexan86, April 25, 2011 @ 9:45 am
Torinoguy – yes, everyone has an opinion and you’re entitled to yours. There have been replies from PMG to posters on this blog, albiet very early on and quite sporatic. Of course, as a fan, I would’ve loved to have experienced more ‘one-on-one’ conversations with him, but that’s just it. There’s not just ‘one’ of me.
I get annoyed when I have 50 emails to read through each morning, some that need responses to, the majority of which doesn’t. Turn that into hundreds of personal emails all wanting to ask you something, share something with you, trying to ‘connect’ with you. Honestly, could you take that ‘kind’ of attention day-in and day-out?
We, as humans, need time to ourselves, plain and simple. You’re an intelligent man, so I don’t have to spell all this out for you, I think you can understand the point that I’m trying to make. I do appreciate your input…I find it very refreshing to hear from new people on this blog, whatever their opinions are.
PMG, thanks for the update. Your well intended words during a difficult situation certainly speaks volumes. xt
By lori876, April 25, 2011 @ 9:49 am
Dear Paul,
Thank you for reaching out once again to the people on this blog who care so much about you. Your response demonstrates to me once again that you are a gentleman – a ‘mensch’ as my mother would say. I’m looking forward to “Chrystallia” and to continuing to read your insightful, enlightening blog on a different forum. I’m sending you another big hug, Lori
By sstormc, April 26, 2011 @ 12:38 pm
PMG, You may not return to this website (and who would blame you?), but just in case you do, I want to recommend a marvelous book. You listed Many Lives, Many Masters on your book list—a book I loved. If you liked that, you will love this– Journey of Souls: Case Studies of Life Between Lives by Michael Newton, PH.D. I recommend it highly to you and any others interested.
Take care!
By hilly, April 26, 2011 @ 10:49 pm
thanks for the rec Sstorm….another one for my reading list. I have a little book re-read and I think it may be available in English (if not PMG brush up the french!)
Bernard Werber : Le Livre du Voyage (The Journey [guide]Book…that’s the best title I cant think of in English – look it up by author)
By no way, April 27, 2011 @ 6:27 pm
There is no way that Hilly should be Paul’s next webmaster!!! I know of dozens of people that left other sites, no longer blog, or have just given up because of her actions! Paul would lose a LOT of fans should Hilly become his gate keeper. Her writings are very demeaning and she really talks down to people leading them to become upset and frustrated. Hilly is a smart woman, I will give her that, but they way she talks to others that she feels are not ‘on her intellectual level’ is very sad. If people have a disagreement, she is NOT fair and unbiased. She would be prejudiced towards her friends and could not view the situation from an impartial view. I know MANY, MANY people that have been chased off other blogs/groups/fan sites because they want to avoid her.
PLEASE PAUL!!! Maybe pick someone that is NOT ‘in the close circle’, pick an outside, maybe one with management experience and diplomacy, but about all….tact and a big heart to share your message with the fans.
xoxoxo
By no way, April 27, 2011 @ 6:29 pm
“pick an outside, maybe one with management experience and diplomacy, but about all….tact and a big heart to share your message with the fans.”
This was supposed to read….but ABOVE all….forgive the typographical error. Have a great day
By no way, April 28, 2011 @ 8:39 am
I think it is time to let this blog go and wait for Paul to get another one up and running where we can share his thoughts and comments. I would be willing to bet that he will have someone he actually ‘knows’ personally to run it. Someone he can trust and that he knows will hold his best interests at heart. Be well Paul. It is sad that it had to come to this, but I understand.
By torinoguy, April 28, 2011 @ 9:40 am
@no way, your idea is great, but I would doubt that Mr. Glaser has ever posted on the blog himself. The man loves his privacy, so let’s leave him alone.
By patriciac, April 28, 2011 @ 10:42 am
Very well said, no way. I agree 110%.
By Sandie, April 29, 2011 @ 2:10 pm
Pam – you really should give this site back to PMG. You should SEE that works are NOT yours but they are PMG’s. Here is a site I would like to share with everyone who visits this blog.
Sandie
By Softly, April 30, 2011 @ 6:56 am
Dear fellow blogers,
Although I appreciate the judgment of sanity that came my way, it is bitter sweet when others here are judged so harshly. I do hope we will blog again but till then let’s appreciate the good of the thing while it lasted and for now give Mr. Glaser and Ms. Meserve some room and respect and practice some patience. And while we wait may I suggest we read a good book,…. I heard one is on its way.
By Softly, April 30, 2011 @ 7:02 am
Lessons learned,
Whenever a situation occurs like this one i ask myself what can I learn from this. Here asked myself where do I still obsess over, and I came to a shocking list. Nothing I did not know before but still…. a list.
The thing I obsess the most over is security in all sort of ways, emotional, financial even spiritual And I fanatically put other people’s needs before mine as a way to feel secure in my right to exist.
I examined my obsessions again and saw the fanatic in me once more and looked at ways of toning it down a notch or two knowing life will become a happier more balanced one.
And sure enough the minute I gave myself more breathing space people around me lighten up, as soon as I felt myself lean back a bit more and relax the world around me started to move a bit more my way.
So where do you obsess over?
Thanks again for the lesson and I’ll patiently wait for a opportunity to blog again.
Till then I`ll remain Softly obsessing over how to become a more balanced me.
By wrks, April 30, 2011 @ 12:51 pm
Directly to P.M. Glaser Re: Chrystallia
Dear Pmg,
Our congratulations go to you as you enter the next phases of your book development of Chrystallia, as you partake in a promotion this weekend . Considering certain suggestions and questions we have about your venue in that we are unable to attend, this note is left here to make you aware we have sent to your marketing group a correspondence.
Looking forward to your book publication,
your dedicated fans at WRKS Consociates.
By logical, April 30, 2011 @ 1:09 pm
Pam, I understand but I’m sure that now is the right time to love yourself. NO… the light doesn’t stop burning within you all because of one person or one type of work.It doesn’t. You know, now is the right time to relinquish ‘control’ and choose to view your ‘release’ as a memorable and happy experience instead of getting angry over people or anyone. Yes you did 200 percent of your effort and perhaps, it is now time to take a rest….withdraw… and do other things that you may even find more meaningful. I know, as you have told me, that you have been on volunteering for various causes since you were 13 years old. Maybe, there is a bigger cause that needs you. You can still make a difference without having to be admi of this blog or any blog for that matter. Let go… as I said, let God lead you elsewhere – maybe some place where you really belong. This was just a phase in your life and NO, your 11 years, as you say, is not wasted because you did your best and you enjoyed and loved it. Now, you gotta let go… without blaming anything or ANYONE. Don’t look back unless you can finally say that they were beautiful memories. Perhaps, after a year or two, when everything is alright, you can write pmg a thank you letter for giving you this experience. You’ll see things better .. let a year or two pass.In the end, you may find out that whatever you think he did, might have been because it was for YOUR own good — only you never saw it until now. I will always be your friend.
By logical, April 30, 2011 @ 1:23 pm
PS: be the hero. Give him back his blog, after cleaning it. Even from far away you can still help him. Let time pass.. you’re too emotional at the moment. What you think now may just be a perception so let time pass.Never act in a highly emotional state and please be logical when you say or do anything. LOVE IS RESPECT. For the sake of your friends who still love you, give him back his blog. This too.. shall pass… as the prayer goes. I hope that soon this blog will be different. Again we do love you Pam..
By no way, April 30, 2011 @ 7:14 pm
I thought Paul had his book signings today. Did anyone go? Did they get to see him? Would LOVE too hear all about it!!
By PamT, May 1, 2011 @ 5:50 am
Softly
Yes, I agree. Situations such as this tend to lend us the opportunity to reflect. I’ve been aware for some time that my prime obsessions is ‘independence’, which also manifests itself in many parts of my life. Whilst it hadn’t occurred to me before having had the privilege of reading this blog, I can now see that my obsession is intrinsically linked with control. All the time I remain ‘independent’, nobody can control or manipulate me; thus I remain more in control ….. or rather this is the way that my ego (in the sense of mind) would like to see it …… and, although it may come to the fore from time to time, for the most part I can shove my sense of ultimate powerlessness to the back of the cupboard of consciousness.
To me, one of the trickiest things about our obsessions is that recognising them in abstract terms or with the benefit of hindsight is one matter, but finding awareness in the midst of the real time of acting them out is a whole different ball game and requires the ongoing cultivation of being present in the moment together with the willingness to examine ourselves with honesty and ‘see’ without our accustomed and well-worn blinkers. Seldom easy. For me, the challenge is also not allowing myself to ‘over-compensate’, but to focus on finding a middle way.
With regards to the future, I agree with you also. PMG has already expressed his hope of establishing another blog and site in due course. If that does happen (and, of course, I’m more than content with the prospect), doubtless he will have his own ideas as to the form it will take, how it is run and the securing of appropriate resources. To my mind, this is exactly as it should be and I feel it would be a positive if he was allowed the time and space to follow the course of action with which he feels comfortable – free from lobbying or orchestration, regardless of the intentions behind them. He has also made the point that, from his perspective, what Pam chooses to do with this site is her own affair. Can we not just leave it at that too?
May all be happy, may all be healthy, may all live in safety and may all live with ease.
PamT
By eggnoggon, May 1, 2011 @ 4:48 pm
How elusive enlightenment, amongst the swirling complexities of life, for …”what we see and what we seem is but a dream within a dream” J Lindsay.
By Felicia, May 2, 2011 @ 6:00 am
Why is it that my comment does not appear on this blog unless I’m logged in? I posted at 1:08pm and someone who posted at 4:48pm is coming through whether I’m logged in or not. I’m sure there must be a logical explanation for it.
Once again, respect YOURSELF, Pam, and everything else will fall into place.
By Felicia, May 3, 2011 @ 2:24 pm
Pam,
You say no one is “stopped” from posting, but someone has stopped my post from being seen. It’s gone. I can’t even see it when logged in anymore? Why is that?
Here it is again. If it’s not posted here, I’ll post it on TMZ, as someone here has done already, with an explanation about how you claim not to censor posts, and then do. Why are you doing that, Pam?
Second try:
Hmm, yes, respect does work both ways, and maybe when someone files a restraining order against you it’s time to respect what that means, and restrain yourself, you know, refrain from the commentary, for your own sake. How about a little self respect, Pam? If you had some, you’d understand that Paul wants you to leave him alone. You wouldn’t want anything to do with anyone who didn’t want you around. Think about that. A restraining order is a big, “please leave me alone,” and you’re ignoring that request, and saying, what? That “respect works both ways?” Respect YOURSELF Pam. First and foremost. Good luck with that, and good luck to Paul Glaser. I hope you have peace and feel safe.
By Delia, May 3, 2011 @ 4:46 pm
Okay…I have been reading this site since the story broke. Morbid curiosity had gotten the better of me I guess. I have read, and then sat on my hands to keep from commenting, I have yelled at my screen and I have laughed and I have cried a little too. I had to say a couple things and then I will be done with this.
First and foremost….this is Pam’s site. Like it or not, SHE owns it, and SHE has paid for it. For 10-11 years it has been known as the ‘Official PMG site’ however who do you really think has put in the blood, sweat and tears to this site…not to mention the money? PAM has! Even Paul said this is HER site…HE has said that perhaps he will create another site to blog on. HE doesn’t expect Pam to turn over a place she has spent 10+ years working on, improving and adding to. Why should anyone else expect her to? We are all merely guests in her home. She can choose to censor, not censor, allow posts, ban people, add to, take away from, and delete anything she wishes to…why you may ask…because it is HERS!
I am not going to pretend to know what is going on between Paul and Pam personally, frankly it is none of my business, just as it is no one else’s (as Paul has asked people to respect their privacy). People tend to enjoy kicking others when they are down, and that is a sad thing and goes against everything this site has ever stood for. People should be ashamed of their comments and their behavior here…I know I am.
I would like everyone to take a moment and think about a few things…does everyone think that Paul has gotten no benefit from this site? Do you not think that he has enjoyed being able to use this place to express his creativity ramblings, publicity, display artwork, raise money for and to connect with fans? It has served its purpose for over 10 years, so much so that he allowed it to be his OFFICIAL page! I am sure he got what he wanted/needed out of it. Perhaps he will start a new site, perhaps he and Pam will strike a deal and she will sell it to him, (does everyone not think they would want to be compensated for their out of pocket expenses and work), maybe he and Pam will work things out…WE DON’T KNOW WHAT THE FUTURE HOLDS….and for us to try to direct what path this takes makes us completely in the wrong.
I saw someone complain about their post being censored, but in the next breath try to censor Pam’s comments. A restraining order does NOT prevent someone from posting on a site THEY OWN, unless you have information to the contrary Felicia, then I suggest you stop assuming that Pam is to ‘refrain’ from posting on HER website.
I do believe that deep down inside Pam still cares about ALL the fans, (even the ones that are knocking her down to try and take her place or kick her while she is down) and she cares about Paul…she needs to start thinking about herself, her future (whatever that may be) and getting her Light back. She is in a dark, sad place right now, and I, as a HUMAN BEING, hate to see ANYONE in pain for any reason, (Paul or Pam) and I refuse to add to anyone’s pain, ESPECIALLY FOR PURELY SELFISH REASONS, like wanting to connect with a ‘celebrity’ who has ALWAYS been uncomfortable with the pedestal us fans have put him on!!
EVERYONE (myself included) needs to take a step back and place themselves in the others shoes. Are the negative comments really necessary? Does it make you feel better or are you bringing it from a truly good and pure place of love, compassion and light? If you don’t agree with Pam’s management of this site, you have free will. Go someplace else or STFU!!!
I now return you to your regularly scheduled programming.
By Delia, May 3, 2011 @ 4:51 pm
***ooops, meant creative ramblings….*** This is why one should never post when frustrated!
Peace
By Diane, May 4, 2011 @ 11:15 am
Delia
I have refrained from commenting but I have to say that you posted so eloquently and I totally agree with everything you said. I like to think that I am a good person, I am a caring person and never cruel. I certainly don’t takes side. It has nothing to do with me, it is between two very special people.
As for all the vicious, cruel comments and the people making them, as you rightly have said, free will, and I totally agree and quote “go someplace else or STFU!!!
By torinoguy, May 5, 2011 @ 11:00 am
Hey people, in all this hullabulloo, did any west coasters / LA residents go and see PMG at his book signing last weekend? I saw some article on the LA TImes website, but they spoke with Barbra Eden (I dream of Jeannie)
By Brenda, May 5, 2011 @ 6:55 pm
I was visiting LA when I found out about the book signing. Unfortunately, I had to return home on the 29th naturally!! I so wanted to go to meet Paul and to get a copy of the book! Had I only known! What a bonus it would’ve been to be able to meet Jake too! To come sooooo close! I guess it just wasn’t meant to be
. It still makes me angry that I missed it though!
By Brenda, May 5, 2011 @ 6:56 pm
Paul, on your book tour, please come to Ottawa Canada!
By Nadine, May 6, 2011 @ 4:41 am
En France aussi Paul ! Nous avons dans ma ville ” Montpellier ” toutes les annees au mois de Mai en plein Air sur la grande place du centre de la ville , un grand rendez vous des écrivains ” La Comédie du livre ” renseignez vous il y a énormément de monde c’est une tres bonne ambiance cette année ce sont les écrivains Allemands qui viennent nous présenter leur livre en version Française .
Amitié Nadine
By Nadine, May 6, 2011 @ 4:53 am
Je vous joint l’adresse Mail de La ” Comédie du Livre ”
http://www.comediedulivre.montpellier.fr
By Softly, May 14, 2011 @ 4:54 am
With my laptop battery dead and internet access hard to come by for the last few weeks had to be silent on the blog for a while. I had some major decisions I had to make and insights to follow up on.
It can be far too easy to have a light bulb moment and the turn the light back out again. Although you cannot un-known thing, you can choose to ignore.
I have been ignoring some sights I have seen in me, deeming them to hard to follow up on or just too confusing or plain to painful. I have labeled my procrastination laziness or fear and even sensible at times, but the nagging feeling remained. The feeling of me missing out, the not living up to the potential of my authentic self.
I know fulfillment does not lay in things or others, nor in places or in wealth. Fulfillment lays within not without (no pun intended here)
When you, like me, have been seeking for so long it seems quite stupid to turn a blind eye when you find. But blindness has its bright side, it is relatively safe. Opening your eyes and acting upon it can feel a lot like walking the high wire without a net.
So he ho there I go. Although I carved this road out in my head many times and I had some trial runs, the leap was always way to big or to scary and I lacked the trust. But all that prepared me for this moment, this twist in the road.
So He Ho there I go… Whish me well.
I’ll remain forever learning Sofly
By Softly, May 14, 2011 @ 4:56 am
I read Pam T’s response and her obsession with being independent and it hit me right between my eyes.
I suddenly saw clearly the salto mortale back flip I so often try to make. The contrast between being secure and being independent is a somersault that is near impossible to make, but I keep trying anyway.
I don’t ask for anything from anyone for fear of dependency, but I do so long for a soft place to fall.
I have been trying boldly to do the double twisted back flip somersault without any form of direct help or safety net. It has made me take a long time to get to where I am now and it did not get me there unscathed. You might say I took the road less traveled, but by the same token you could say I was too fearful to go where my spirit wanted to take me. Looking back it was (and still is) the fear of judgment, judgment of others and my own.
Lately this blog has been a big pounding match, judgments flying back and forth. Judgments sugarcoated as good advice and judgment as brutal knockout upper cuts deliberately hurtful, judgments a repercussions for choices people made. So instead of this being a place for self reflection in safety, a soft place to fall, this has become a place to fear.
For me it is a bit like a porcelain cup that has fallen off the shelf and broken in two, you can try to glue it back together and even do so with great result, you might even drink from it again, but the crack is there, seen or unseen.
I do sincerely hope that all find there soft place to fall and find it in their hearts to let others find theirs. If it is given I will take up the opportunity to blog again with fellow travelers. Till then I’ll travel alone for a bit, knit myself a safety net and try the double twisted back flip one more time, now armed with the knowledge that there is no such thing as security or failure in trying.
Moving on Softly
By Brenda, May 16, 2011 @ 12:20 pm
There is a great interview with Jake at
http://www.glamour.com/health-fitness/2011/05/what-i-want-you-to-know-about-aids?currentPage=1