Put on your other set of glasses.

I see there’s a bit of a battle being waged on this site. My question is; aren’t we all looking for the same thing? I mean, yes, there other different things different people are looking for at different times, but at the end of the day, (or night), aren’t we all looking for the same thing? My answer is ‘yes.’ That’s my answer. It doesn’t have to be yours. I’m not espousing some universal truth. I’m trying to describe…and it is myongoing process of learning and discovery….MY universal truth. What feels right to me. What makes me curious and awed by this phenomenon called existence. If it resonates with others, well and good. If it doesn’t, then it was fun telling and reminding myself about it.

I don’t propose to know anymore than anyone else. I only know what I know and what I’m learning. It doesn’t make me good or bad or right or wrong. It’s just another reality…my reality which I choose to share with any who want to partake.

What would be cool is if those of you finding yourselves embroiled in this flap would  take a giant step back. (Take another, they’re free.), And from this wider perspective, where you can still see the other person, can you also see yourself taking yours position? See your mind preparing all those definitions and judgments to defend against your fear.

Fear of what? I don’t know. It just occurred to me, but I’ll take a guess with the option to delete.

Fear of being wrong…of not knowing…fear of being uable to trust your heart, your senses, your experience of your existence which tells you what you KNOW with your being, not what you think/believe you know in your mind. Yes, they are seemingly two different realities constantly at war with one another.

( I was having an interesting conversation with a friend and we were trying to identify that huge part of the brain that we don’t use. I thought, maybe that’s the place where we all dream…a portal into this multi-dimensional universe in which we exist. Maybe in other incarnations…in other ‘versions’ of us in other dimensions, this is the evolved part that communes with the waft and flo of existence. Was it Shakespeare who suggested that we spend this life like squirrels scurrying after nuts to store for the winter and it is only in sleep that we experience our connection to all that is? Maybe not Shakespeare…but he was going in that direction).

So we defend against that fear by forming judgments, alliances with others with common beliefs, (it helps if they look like us in some comforting way or other), and of course, identification with those beliefs. This is the mind’s way of rationalizing its relevance to these ‘serious’ conflicts.

Well, they are serious, aren’t they? They’re about what  you believe is important, true, right, wrong….oops…there’s that ‘judgment thing’ again.

Question; Does a belief linger? Does it resonate in the senses? Having a belief definitely resonates in the senses; pride, security, loyalty, honor,…but the belief itself? Is its life entirely dependent on our minds ability to repeat, enthrone, solidify and litmus test its existence?

What about what we experience with/in our senses?  Those stay in the tissue longer. A lot longer. Muscle memory? What about that which feels so good, so true, so comforting and reassuring, even eternal: love? Do we feel love in our mind?

We feel it in/through our senses. Our mind interprets it, maybe even gets a little drunk on the endorphin rush, or suicidal from the percieved loss of, but ask your mind where to go to find it and like a good dog after a buried bone, it visits all past and recorded occasions of bliss in an attempt to feel it again.

It doesn’t work that way.

Ah! I’m opening that damn can of worms again.

This experience of our existence has absolutely nothing to do with right,wrong, good, bad. Granted, because we are such dangerous beings to one another, we need a moral cage of rules and regulations to keep us under control…and we  have invented all kinds of cages…

Our experience of our existence…maddening as it may be to our minds…is to be experienced...or in short;to be…as in felt. Not known, or catalogged, measured and weighed…but felt.

So I ask you. In your deepest sense of yourself, of your hearts, after our minds have had their day judging and defending and labeling things right or wrong, fair or unfair and whatever, after that, when we ask ourselves what we really know that we want…and in that knowledge we also know that everyone at their core wants,…it is love. To be loved, to love, to belong eternally, to know that part of ourselves that goes on long after our bodies have called it quits.

We all want the same thing, same store. You take the high road, I’ll take the low road. You take your car, I’ll hoof it through the woods. Different ways of getting to the same place.

So, I propose that we view each others different ways, beliefs, ideas with more curiosity. Not just curiosity in all the different ways, but curiosity in ourselves and our own process of holding on, attaching, afraid to let go of any or all of the beliefs that our minds would have us identify with.

I believe…yes I said it…that when, in the face of fear, we  identify with the fear, (and try to defend against it), we can also identify with  that part of us that sees us doing this and if we look closely, sees others doing it at the same time.

We all want the same thing. We all want to ‘get there.’ The journey of life is filled with so much that we bridle at the suggestion that we are already there…meaning ‘here.’ And we certainly don’t want anybody telling us how to get there. Although we never pass up the opportunity to share in the comfort of someone telling how they got there.
Sometimes.

Sometimes we settle for the distraction of anger, hate, because we’re afraid to acknolwedge the root presence of our fear (underneath our anger, impatience…etc.).for fear that the fear will destroy us. But hey, didn’t we just say we were already ‘afraid’ to go there? Where? To ‘afraid.’ We’re already there!

Where?

Here.

categories On Blogging and Shared Thoughts | | datetime June 7, 2010 10:42 pm

376 Comments

  • By jools, June 8, 2010 @ 12:11 am

    I had fought shy of adding to the previous goings-on, but had anyway written out my thoughts, just to get them off my chest. They seem to echo some of what you’ve written, so here goes nothing!

    - Our backgrounds, upbringings, education, intellects, religions, political leanings and life experiences range from one end of the spectrum to the other. I would suggest that the diversity of contributors is what makes the blog interesting.
    We are treated to heartfelt messages which make us think and extend, or perhaps open our minds to ideas/philosophies/ways-to-be that we may not have considered before; and which allows for conversation, debate, discussion. From the tone of some posts, we read between the lines. Some are wildly off topic and frivolous. What’s wrong with a bit of whimsy now and again as counterpoint to the deep, possibly intense moods of others? Anecdotes and memories are shared in order to empathise and to fit in. Everyone has something different to say, or a different way of saying the same thing. –

    Isn’t life too short to snip and snipe at each other here when there’s so much more turmoil going on in the wider world?

  • By Softly, June 8, 2010 @ 12:46 am

    Dear mr Glaser,

    We not only want the same thing… We are the same thing.

    Forever learning,
    Softly

  • By Christine, June 8, 2010 @ 12:49 am

    Hi Paul, Hey its so good to hear from you. I will re-read and try to get this slow brain to work. Your words are as always an inspiration, a positive light in a sometimes dark world. Now off I go for a cuppa and some migraine pills, maybe that’s my brains way of saying ‘hey you’ve pushed me too far’ lol.
    With love as always,
    Christine. xx :)

  • By hilly, June 8, 2010 @ 12:49 am

    remember that old Beatles song: “here there and everywhere”?
    Sometimes I feel more like I’m all over the place trying to get it all straight in my head.

    You are both right (Paul, Jools)- Life is too short – too damn short even if you know that you would well live to be over 100 (sometimes I fear my genes!).

    this life or another one…who can tell?
    Our shared experiences – our common reference points (that little quote from song or a TV show from our childhood “here’s one I made earlier…” – some of you will get that, others won’t, that’s life it’s not a ‘dig’ at the ‘outsider’ or a cliquey thing; a religious ‘teaching’/'indoctrination’ (pick your own option)…even the fact that maybe you grew up in the same town . These give us our points of reference – that innate belief perhaps.
    Constantly harping on at those you perceive to not agree with you and turning it into an insultfest hurts… who? You! You just hurt yourself with your anger – pent up or vented.

    I’ve been re-reading all of Paul’s posts & the discussions they led to (for better of worse…oops there goes another of those common reference quotes) and I’m finally learning to move on. To confront the fear that sometimes leads to anger. I don’t need the hurt – so I’m learning to walk away from it. I need the fear…to stimulate the next move.

    Still here; still wondering where.

  • By heidi, June 8, 2010 @ 1:13 am

    Hello everybody!!!
    Yes,I agree with Mr. Glaser’s comments. WE are all looking for the same thing in Life. We all want to find Love, friendship. companionship and we learn through interacting with other people and learning from their experiences too. It’s a free world to discuss whatever we want!!

    Yes, in “Hamlet”, Shakespeare explores what happens to the mind when we sleep.
    “And by a sleep to say we end
    The heart-ache and the thousand natural shocks
    that flesh is heir to–

    To die -to sleep
    For in that sleep of death what dreams may come–”

    Remarkable man to say he was writing hundreds of years ago and his mind was curious to all these things.

    People are scared of getting old and dying but is a natural process of things.
    Are we scared of fainting or going to sleep???
    We can not avoid them.

  • By heidi, June 8, 2010 @ 1:16 am

    OH, just to say I’ve put my reading glasses on and I’m enjoying this blog and everybody on it and also learning new things.

  • By heidi, June 8, 2010 @ 1:36 am

    An American friend recently told me she was proud to live in a country where there is freedom of speech and all views are respected.
    Hold true to your own beliefs and listen with respect to what others have to say.

    Peace and love to all!!!

  • By hilly, June 8, 2010 @ 3:17 am

    “We are such as dreams are made of…..” and as long as it doesn’t turn into a nightmare…but wait, isn’t a nightmare a dream fueled by our own fears? We don’t need to have our dreams analysed à la “Old Siggy Fraud” (to quote my psychology tutor way back) we just need to decide whether they are worth pondering.

    Despite the efforts of a small but very noisy element in America, Heidi’s friends is right. And it applies to the countries that (as far as I can guess) most of us are posting from. Exchange and discussion are ways of learning – that’s why we learn more in a study group than in a packed lecture hall. Slinging grapeshot at those who say something you don’t like is defensive. If I (and it was me) choose to criticise a popular idol that I knew first hand had feet of clay that doesn’t mean I’m being aggressive to someone who posts their opinion..but I have learnt one thing since I ventured into the wild wild world of internet….for some people the last person who knows what the writer of a post intended/meant is the writer him/herself.

    that is the danger of a public blog – there are people out there trailing around looking for a place to antagonize.

    Here?…here I think we can rise above them. ! and then they get bored and move on.

  • By hilly, June 8, 2010 @ 3:18 am

    oops should have checked the copy/paste:

    correction “Slinging grapeshot at those who say something you don’t like is offensive”….

  • By Christine, June 8, 2010 @ 5:54 am

    Hi Paul, Great words and outlook on life. Wish I had your wisdom, wish you could bottle it you would be worth a fortune!!.

    Hi Heidi, Your American friend has the best idea.

    Hi Hilly, Too true my friend xx

  • By Rachelle, June 8, 2010 @ 6:12 am

    Morning Paul!

    Nice post! In the heat of any moment it’s always good to step back. Emotions can run high and when things calm down perspectives usually come back to place. It’s not always easy and we all make mistakes. I’m so glad everyday is a new day, a new beginning and a fresh outlook. Live, laugh and love even in the hard times. Then life is not just lived but it’s enjoyed!

    Have an awesome day everyone, Rach

  • By Christine, June 8, 2010 @ 11:01 am

    Hi Paul, You know you are so right just how much ‘fear’ plays a part in our lives, either we acknowledge it and try our best to overcome those fears or we deny they even exist.
    We do all want to love and be loved, it sounds so simple doesn’t it?. Almost like a good book, but the problem with this life is there are so many twists and turns, ups and downs, that you find yourself dizzy just trying to keep some balance. We are brought up to know the do’s and dont’s the right/wrong the acceptable/unacceptable and inbetween all this is our life. Problem being other’s may not have been taught the same rules. I love this blog its generally the best place to come to feel positive(in my opinion). Sorry I’m rambling here this is the fourth attempt at writing this tonight just doesn’t seem up to scratch somehow. That’s about it I think…..great reading your thoughts, Paul!! :)
    With love as always,
    Christine. xx

  • By hilly, June 8, 2010 @ 11:16 am

    OK come on…hands up who hasn’t enjoyed that frisson when you know it’s wrong but it feels too good not to do/try it?

    Because that’s when fear plays a positive part in our lives – it dares us to go on….and without some of the risks we have all taken in our lives where would we be now?
    “If I hadn’t chatted him/her up…..
    “If I hadn’t said no, I don’t want to do this I want to do….
    “If I hadn’t crossed the road at just that moment….

    “If I hadn’t dared/pushed the envelope/ignored the warnings….

    I’d wager that in every case the answer is ‘I wouldn’t be where I am now and whatever the little weights on the downside of the balance, I’m glad I am…
    and
    I wouldn’t be who I am either…and I don’t want to be anyone else.

  • By Sue, June 8, 2010 @ 1:06 pm

    PMG says: >>MY universal truth. What feels right to me. What makes me curious and awed by this phenomenon called existence. If it resonates with others, well and good. If it doesn’t, then it was fun telling and reminding myself about it.

    This.

    Exactly.

    I guess that's what we all, myself included, need to do a little more of.

    Beliefs (and I'm not necessarily talking about religion here, but any beliefs, as you'll see in the examples) are something that are at one end very useful and at times life saving things, and at the opposite end of the spectrum, the things that keep us forever distanced from our fellow creatures on this planet.

    Beliefs are so tightly wound within ourselves that they're one huge mask through which we view and interact with the world, but which at the same time separates us from that world since we are not viewing it as it really is, but how we *believe* it really is.

    And because they are so much a part of who we are, we tend to expect everyone else to believe exactly as we do, because we think our beliefs are what make us human, so if you're human too, you'll believe what I do.

    A simple example to start off: When you're a child, you have no idea that fire can hurt if you stick your hand in it. You're not born knowing this. When you reach toward it and your mother smacks your hand, or yells at you, or pulls you away, or however she reacts, you may well *believe* what she is saying is true (i.e. fire burns) without testing it for yourself to make sure. Of course, there are born skeptics *G* who must test out the fire = burn theory for themselves just to make sure that it's true.

    In other words, "fire burns" might be Mom's truth, but how do you know it's YOUR truth unless you try it for yourself?

    Well, in many circumstances, taking things like this on faith is the right thing to do. Because "fire = burn" is more than a simple *belief*. It's a fact. But the way we are, as children, expected to accept it is that "mom's belief = fact".

    This can, of course, be dangerous if not all of mom's beliefs are, indeed, facts. If you treat all of her beliefs with the same weight as "fire = burn", you are never going to open your mind to the fact that there are other possibilities out there beyond what her beliefs are.

    As another example: When I was young, because I could only then, and can only now, fully experience the "isness of being" when viewed through my very own eyes, for those eyes, the medical fact of the matter was that everything beyond the length of my arm was fuzzy. Really, *really* fuzzy. When far away things got close, they got clear. But when they were far, they were fuzzy.

    Because I could only experience sight through my own eyes, I believed that every single person in this world saw that world exactly as I did. I had no idea of the meaning of "farsighted" or "nearsighted". All I knew was that the world was fuzzy until it got a certain distance away, and then it was clear.

    I BELIEVED that I wasn't alone in this. I believed this was the natural way of seeing for everyone.

    Well though the way I viewed the world was a natural fact for me, because of my vision problem, it wasn't the natural fact for others.

    That my world was fuzzy until it wasn't anymore was a fact.

    That everyone else's world was fuzzy until it wasn't anymore was a BELIEF.

    Accepting that my sight is the way it is for me is good.

    Forcing others to accept my belief that THEIR sight, ipso facto, must be exactly as mine is or they are unnatural is wrong.

    What I come to believe as my truth is fine…for ME. It is not fine for anyone else unless, by their own experiences, they share the same beliefs I do.

    But my truth of the me living inside me can never be the same truth of the you living inside you. We each see the world in a different way. We can only share the way we see that world with others. We should never force others to see it as we do, or we are forcing THEM to wear OUR mask, and I can't see any time in which that could even remotely be considered "right" or "just" or "good".

    Of course, sharing our views of the intensely personal way we experience the world around us is fraught with its own "dangers".

    If I say to myself "mmm, this tastes just like a pear", *I* know *exactly* what *I* mean.

    But think about what I just said. How could you EVER, EVER explain to a person who has never tasted a pear what a pear tastes like? The simple answer is, you can't. We simply don't have the ability to communicate to another exactly what something tastes like so that when they imagine tasting it, it will "taste" to them exactly, or even REMOTELY, as it tastes to us. It's simply impossible for us to do so.

    It's the same with so many other things that we wish to share for which our linguistic skills and abilities are simply abysmal.

    For example, let's pretend that only one other person on this blog, aside from the author himself, knows what said author looks like. Now stop laughing, I'm serious! :D :D :D

    Let's assume for this game that we have never in our lives seen him before, except for the one person who has.

    There is no way in this world that she could describe his face in a way that any one of us could see in our own minds exactly what he looks like without having ever seen him before. That's why eyewitness testimony, especially without the use of "sketch artists" or computer aids, or whatever, as so abysmally poor. Because while we can and do have words to explain certain characteristics, we do not possess the language to explain the, for lack of a better term, "isness" of that characteristic.

    The one person who knows what this blog's author looks like could say "He has dark hair". Well, there are a billion shades of "dark". Brown? No better. Dark brown? Still a bust. Same with "he has curly hair". You could say "dark curly hair" and I would hit on a ton of people I know with dark curly hair and never even come close.

    "Blue eyes"? Yeah. Good luck with that one.

    *snicker*

    Sue

  • By Terri, June 8, 2010 @ 5:46 pm

    Hello Paul, Very enjoyable post. I seem to be getting better at understanding what your saying, writing. I can really relate to taking a step back. When a situation feels too confusing, or angry, or loud, when an event in my life causes me genuine fear I have learned to step back and regroup. I try to put things in perspective and then go on. It’s not a fool proof method but it’s worked well for me more often then not. Of course I will reread your post because it is more than this mind can understand in one reading but I greatly enjoy reading your thoughts. With Love, Terri

  • By heidi, June 8, 2010 @ 11:58 pm

    This blog is making me think. Talking about brain activity, what do other bloggers think about sleepwalking??
    Here is a shared thought with you. When I was in high school, me and my friends had to do a project on the Norman Conquest of England–we had an argument about it. WEll, school finished and I thought nothing more of it.

    Next day , my mother told me she had caught me in the night walking round the house opening all the cupboards looking for a Norman town!!!
    I didn’t remember a thing!

    The frightening thing was I was at the top of the staircase–I could have fallen down.
    Yesterday, I asked myself how did my body recognise danger and stop me from falling????

    can I just say that was t

    he only time in my life that I went sleepwalking—must have been upset by my friends that day.

  • By heidi, June 9, 2010 @ 12:09 am

    A
    Are dreams always pleasant ones? perhaps, our brains react off visual stimuli and emotions we experience during the day—I’m not a doctor- I’m just guessing here.
    Years ago, people laughed at Post-traumatic stress but I believe in it. Probably, we are taught that life will always be happy etc. so when something bad happens-it is difficult for us to deal with.
    One of our friends was a firefighter. Once he had to go to a house fire where children had died. His nerves went completely after that—he could not sleep–recurring nightmares –his hands were shaking-he took up smoking again. So the mind is affected by what it sees and hears.

  • By Christine, June 9, 2010 @ 1:03 am

    Hi Heidi, From a personal point of view I agree with your comments on dreams/nightmares. I think that the more you try to push thoughts/experiences out of your daily thinking, the brain then needs an outlet for all the stuff going through our heads and when you try to get a good nights sleep, the dreams start. Sometimes the very thought of facing another night of nightmares is enough to keep yourself up and busy. Interesting thing our brains huh?. As for the sleep walking, when my children were small I would get up in the morning and find that I had made a cuppa for myself during the night…. no memory of it at all just the mug in the sink, it wasn’t until a friend of mine stayed over that she saw it with her own eyes I have to say it freaked the living daylights out of her lol. Addiction to tea? maybe!!. Seriously though they reckon sleep walking is down to stress, as are most things in our lives.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By sknash, June 9, 2010 @ 3:11 am

    Good Morning Paul,
    Thanks again for taking the time to write. I greatly appreciate it. I remember an interview you did many years ago, not sure what was going on at the time, but you were in a trailer and you had mentioned that Jake had just gotten in, anyway, long story short, your phrase that sticks out at me and had until this day “Don’t go there.” How real and how much that has meant in my life, just 3 words. So much so, that I have had it printed and framed just to remind me where not to go. Thanks for that thought. I don’t write all the time on here, but do hang in the background, little too much drama for me. But I enjoy your writings and thanks for being a light in my life. this is some very thought provoking words. I hope we all heed them, ponder them and use them in our lives. Blessings, hugs and love-Susan

  • By sknash, June 9, 2010 @ 3:13 am

    Sue, love your description of trying to figure out what the writer looks like. I have that description down to a T. But those blue eyes, I clarify that with “cobalt blue eyes”, ah, no one has cobalt blue eyes like the writer of this blog. And that is only in my opinion. But a lovely exercise just the same. Susan

  • By Sue, June 9, 2010 @ 3:20 am

    sknash:

    Thanks! I figured I’d use a person who we’ve all seen just to make us realize how little we have that can accurately explain the “isness” of him, the way his particular characteristics are put together and then animated to present what he looks like. :D

  • By Saskia, June 9, 2010 @ 3:43 am

    When we are full of fear, it is sometimes better to cover it up with anger..we are trying to push the fear away so much that maybe sometimes the anger that we cover it up with is starting to scare other people and giving them fear!

    Anger, I think, stops truth from becoming a reality. If we are angry at a situation we are not accepting it, we’re not letting it go..and it will carry on, eating away at you.

    Sometimes facing the fear head on is the right thing to do. Facing it is overcoming it. It might take a while to over come it totally, but you are not running away from it. You are accepting.

    My brain is starting to go into overdrive so I’m going to leave it there otherwise I will just ramble

    Btw, I know how much Christine loves this blog and how much you mean to her Paul, and her other fellow bloggers, and I am so happy that she is happy again :)

    -peace
    Saskia

  • By Christine, June 9, 2010 @ 4:01 am

    Hi Saskia, I think we both know a thing or two about hiding our ‘fear’ its true sometimes we spend so much time running away from it that there comes a point where you have to deal with it. Just like one can cry sheer tears of frustration, when faced with that awful helplessness. Are we ever as tough as we would have others believe? I doubt it, unless some are born without a conscience. Thank you for support :) love to you xx

  • By hilly, June 9, 2010 @ 4:01 am

    oops here we go again…those blue eyes have it don’t they?

  • By Christine, June 9, 2010 @ 6:36 am

    Have to agree Hilly, but its that smile that totally melts my heart I could go on but we will embarrass the man!!…..just a tad off topic who me? lol

  • By hilly, June 9, 2010 @ 7:11 am

    at the risk of being judged as flippant (I am sometimes!)….it’s all in the mind.

    but seriously:

    …as Sue points out (at least I hope I’m getting you right ;) ) we learn by experience…and those who don’t learn by experience will always find themselves hitting the wall. So how is it that some of us do and some don’t? Nature vs Nurture? Was I (or any of you) brought up in an environment that encouraged us to seek out and learn.

    to misquote Shakespeare “sweet are the uses of frightening people”

    It bothers me to see the ‘nanny states’ that so many countries are becoming. How will people learn to move on/to relate to one another/ to live in this world if they expect someone else to always take responsibility for their lives and don’t dare speak out?

    From talking elevators(lifts) and trains and buses to daft warnings on food (‘warning may contain nut products’…very sensible you are all saying, a bad reaction can be fatal…but it was on a packet of peanuts!) We have come to see child-molesters behind every doorway; rapists in every parking lot, terrorists in every airport line…how sad.

    This is not healthy fear – it is unhealthy fear; and there are those (not me!) who insist that it is all a plot – a strategy – by governments to keep us docile.
    others in their terror of being labeled as ‘not PC’ avoid using words correctly and live in a fog of euphemisms. there are words that have become taboo simply because of one definition. Our vocabularies are shrinking for fear of offending…using the ‘f’ word – is that fear? fat? feather… the ‘c’ word…color?(oops?) cancer?(that was a big no-no for decades) or ‘….’(male chicken).
    hehehe I’m thinking of Paul at an awards ceremony many moons ago. “they ‘ask me where the hell is David?’ oops I just sweared” He did?

    I just have to tell you this story. A couple of years ago I was flying to London. Checked in (with a low cost airline that expects you to dump your hold bag onto the belt) and put my bag onto the belt and watched it disappear. Then I realized I’d left my cellphone on the charger in my car. I went back to the check-in desk and the attendant said “you’ve got plenty of time – go and get it.” So I did; and walked straight past her replacement without being challenged and joined the line to be checked for 4 drops too many of water in the Evian bottle/ the perfume that would make a nice pressie for the attendant’s mum etc. But supposing my bag had contained a bomb times to explode while it was still in the building….just shows how totally ridiculous most of these checks are…I don’t go with the government fear plot theory; because it is obvious what the real reason is. A huge increase in sales ‘airside’ = a huge increase in the commission the airport takes from the stores who trade there…Q.E.D as we used to say!)
    But we all comply because of the fear of terrorists.(and they have no-doubt thought up new ways of killing us anyway!)

    hehehe I can think of at least one other poster on this blog who I doubt would ever agree to be ‘docile’ and is probably only PC where s/he understands the logic.

  • By Sue, June 9, 2010 @ 8:19 am

    Hilly:

    That was sorta kinda what I was talking about, but in a much more basic sense. Back to the very beginning basic sense.

    How, when we are newborns, we aren’t born knowing that fire = burn, or believing in a particular spiritual belief system, or knowing that the way we see the universe is not how everyone else sees it, or even that one day we’re going to die.

    Some facts we learn through our development from day one of personal experience. Some beliefs we learn from those same personal experience.

    A belief may be that (and of course this isn’t literally going through a newborn’s mind) if I cry, some nice smelling blurry big monster blob is going to pick me up and make me feel better.

    That’s our fact.

    Until one day we cry and no one picks us up. Then cry = comforted goes from fact to faith, to belief. When we cry, we HOPE some nice smelling big fuzzy monster blob will pick us up or feed us or change our wet bottoms, etc.

    We aren’t born believing in a supreme creator. We’re not born actively NOT believing in one, either. We simply have no knowledge or care of the existence, or non existence of one until such time as someone tells us of its existence. And because by that time, we have pretty much developed the belief system that “mom = truth”, we will automatically pretty much believe everything she says becasue the cost of not believing is too high to our well being.

    And we’re locked into that system until the cost of not believing is less detrimental to our well being. Then we may question, etc.

    And then what I said is that SHARING that belief system, whatever it may be, is on its face pretty inadequate simply by the limitation of our abilities with the language we have to explain *exactly* what an intense experience personal *only* *to* *us* means.

    Because *sharing* our beliefs is so very hard, it is all too often that those wanting so share (say for example belief in a particular religious worldview) finally give up and impose penalties on us for NOT believing. Therefore the person who wants you to believe won’t go out of his or her way to explain why you should, because that’s not possible. Instead, he or she will impose a penalty for not believing blindly that what she says is the truth. i.e. “If you don’t believe in my supreme being because *I* do, you will go straight to (insert name of a place of eternal torture here).

    This works with all sorts of belief systems. Religion is hardly the only one.

    That’s more where I was trying to go. Why my beliefs are different than yours, and why I should not expect you to believe mine, because I have no real way of explaining them to you so that you experience exactly what I did.

    Sue

  • By Sue, June 9, 2010 @ 8:32 am

    Adding to what I said above, this is the basic difference to me between a belief in a particular deity and the secularity of science.

    The Judeo-Christian creation story basically tells us that we must take everything on faith, we must believe that this creator has our best interests at heart, and if we ask for proof, we will be cast into the pit of eternal damnation.

    Science does not have eternal penalties for those who disbelieve in it. If you don’t believe in evolution, you don’t believe in it. Charles Darwin isn’t going to reanimate himself and suck your eyeballs through a straw twice a day for the rest of eternity. No, the worst that will happen is you might get laughed at, or your creation science paper won’t get peer reviewed.

    But that’s alot different from the threat of suffering the torments of hell for eternity for not believing in religion.

    Science promotes questioning because its goal is to go from a belief to a fact. Any skepticism in science is encouraged, and the failure to believe is very much finite.

    Failure to believe in something nebulous always comes with an eternal penalty because you are being asked (or told) to suspend your rational disbelief. There are many who would refuse to do that unless the penalty for NOT suspending that disbelief was something too terrible to comprehend.

    Similar thinking happens in violent dictatorships. Most people are moral beings who want to help others in desperate need. So a dictator must overcome that innate morality and does so by telling you that the punishment for acting on your moral impulses to, for example, help an enemy of the dictator because that enemy is suffering, will cause YOU far more agony than the simple guilt you would feel if you let that person simply die in the gutter.

    Sue

  • By Sue, June 9, 2010 @ 8:36 am

    Humans are born to question. The way to stop that inborn impulse is to impose such severe, eternal penalties that not questioning is simply the safer option.

    This exists for anything where you are told to take a certain thing on faith and without evidence, from religion to politics to everything in between.

    There. Done!

    Sue

  • By hilly, June 9, 2010 @ 8:51 am

    that last post is the best summing up I’ve seen for a while.

  • By Sammy, June 9, 2010 @ 10:06 am

    Right on target Sue: Question and be a target or look away and say ‘not my business’: Have done both and suffered from both! :-)

    From what Paul said: ‘taking a giant step back…..’

    This is something that has helped me a lot- Taking a step outside of ‘me’ and looking at ‘me’ neutrally. Can one do that? Yes- at least I know I can do that. A long time ago, when I was a teenager, I had a temper that I didn’t want to control- But at that point I didn’t see the part that I ‘didn’t want to’ – when a good friend of mine told me that no one would see the real me as long as I fly into temper tantrums- she said ‘that is how you will remembered – do you want that?’Needless to say even that statement made me mad and I was thinking to myself who cares as long as I know who I am – Luckily when I got home and was pondering on my thoughts the better half of me took charge and started analyzed my friend’s statement. I started to look at myself from outside and see how others see me and I was ashamed of what I saw. I wish I could say that from the very next minute I became this angel who never had any temper tantrums thereafter but I learnt something very valuable that day. I started to ‘want to’ control my temper and have done a very good job of it. My friends who never knew me as a teenager will never believe that I was once a little monster.. no kidding!

    This is how I see it or believe it: Not necessary the right or correct way. The only way is just what Paul has described- to take a step back from you and look at yourself. The reason, main reason, why one doesn’t want to do it is, of course, again as Paul says, because of the fear. Fear of not wanting to see the real you. You are afraid to see the real you. But believe me, trust me, even if I were afraid of what I may find, at the end of the journey I became a better person.

    We are not the same. All of us have different views. Are all of us looking for the same ‘thing’? I am not sure about that- maybe we are looking for the same ‘things’ not just one and the priorities we give for each of those is different- like: Ok we do look for love. But then what is expected from the love we are looking for?

    Person A: I want you to love me enough so that you will never let me go
    Person B: I want you to love me enough so that you would let me go

    Same input but different outcomes. Then we look for acceptance – sometimes this could also be another kind of love.

    Person A: I want you to accept me for who I am and let me join your club
    Person B: I want you to accept me for who I am and leave me alone.

    Only two versions of outcomes from a thousand possibilities of ‘acceptance’.

    What I learnt is to judge myself without judging others. When one has found him/herself nothing else matters. So easy to say but never easy to get there. But that is a journey one must take. Just my opinion, ofcourse! :-)

  • By hilly, June 9, 2010 @ 12:02 pm

    I was thinking about sleepwalking – chance would be a fine thing it’s more like insomnia alley for me right now! Anyway, a couple of you mentioned not being aware of having done something. That can happen when you are so tired (or stressed) that you don’t have tabs on yourself anymore. I sometimes stop and think ‘wait a minute how did I get here?’

    I had concussion many years ago (me a horse and a difference of opinion about how we were going to deal with a gate!)
    The next thing I remember is that I woke up lying on a couch in the owner’s office.
    What I missed…..I rode back to the stables, unsaddled ‘Dobbin’; groomed and fed him and started to clean the bridle when I keeled over!

    That could be the stuff that nightmares are made of; waking up and wondering ‘what did I do?”
    …or a bad trip?
    Step back from yourself and watch yourself trying to make your way through this life….it’s frequently good for a laugh, sober, conscious, stoned or drunk!
    I think it’s the Chinese who say that when someone makes plans god laughs….

    sorry I rambled off topic there….maybe I’ll get ‘to sleep, perchance to dream’ tonight.

    “Good Night all” (and that comes from a cop show before we even called them that!)

  • By Christine, June 9, 2010 @ 12:34 pm

    Hi Sammy, In all honesty I don’t lose my temper that often, sounds ironic huh? I think if you have grown up with the outcome of anothers anger it kind of teaches you not to intentionally push the wrong buttons. However at times (usually if I feel that one of my friends/daughter/someone I care about is getting hurt I try to defend. Maybe its not wise, maybe even at times the actual person would like to say ‘leave it Chris’ but me being me I go off how I ‘feel’. Again, not always a great emotion, but we are all different. Maybe I’m too emotional for my own good at times but theres a old saying, be true to yourself, it doesn’t mention the trouble it can get you into though lol. Perhaps I need to do as Paul suggests take a few steps back (he said they were free lol) and breathe…… You know you mentioned judging yourself? I think sometimes we try so hard to be everything to everyone that we end up being nothing to ourselves. Just a thought.
    Best wishes,
    Christine xx

  • By cjjo, June 9, 2010 @ 12:53 pm

    RE: …”War Being Raged”

    The reason for my post is a simple apology, which I feel must be prefaced with an explanation.

    Long ago, I was afforded a minuscule part in the creative and developmental processes of a few of Mr. Glaser’s works. Because our parting was less than amicable (and as I tended to be bossy and overbearing in one-on-one exchanges) I thought that by independently reaching out to contacts with relationships in the greater publishing world, I could be of assistance…or (if nothing else) set into motion events which simply indicated “I believe in these works” despite any residual animosity between Mr. G. and myself, even though I did not feel I, personally, could.

    Consequently, I solicited relatives, acquaintances, and past associates with access to useful contacts for quiet and informal endorsements preemptively, given their specific influences. All this was set into motion while a somewhat amiable relationship between myself and the author was in existence; furthermore, because it was inappropriate to pass on personal contact information without Mr. Glaser’s permission, I directed several individual to peruse his blog and website as a means of sampling his writing style and potential marketing base. Foolishly, I anticipated no harm in taking such action, thought no ill effects could result, and assumed only that I had found a means to lend support without intruding into Mr. Glaser’s life.

    These women, however, were not fans: instead were fellow prep school alumni, highly respected leaders of their industries, and in some cases noted social and/or political activists (unused to either perceiving personal challenges–regardless of the degree or forum–without taking up the gauntlet or backing down to anyone and whom I had approached for personal favors on the matter. In some cases, the individuals knew absolutely nothing about Mr. Glaser or his work as an actor, relying solely on the blog entries to familiarize themselves with his style and voice. Again, this seemed advantageous in that his writing style would then stand on its own.

    I simply failed to anticipate the combustible nature of the situation.

    Given the fact that I only on the very rarest of occasions log on to this blog, I had no idea of the degree to which my “well-intentioned” interference had backfired, even after being told–in no uncertain terms–that my “clever” little scenario had not unfolded as I had planned.

    Since my impulsive (unsolicited) and ill-conceived attempts to lend behind-the-scenes support may have led to the ensuing mayhem; as such I apologize to Mr. Glaser–sadly, more than accustomed to crossed boundaries and such blatant intercession–and his fans for my part in it. Make no mistake, I do not apologize for attempting to promote what I thought to be potentially significant written works, for this is my passion as well as my profession. It is my choice of vehicles through which to accomplish this covert task which was, apparently, ill-conceived; thus it is for that (and the ensuing “un”-pleasantries) alone for which I apologize to all; accordingly, it is my responsibility to bear my due portion of the blame.

    –cjjo

  • By rita, June 9, 2010 @ 1:40 pm

    paul, deep down you’re a beatle.

    Think of what you’re saying,
    you can get it wrong and still
    you think that it’s alright.
    Think of what I’m saying,
    we can work it out
    and get it straight,
    or say good night.
    We can work it out,
    we can work it out.

  • By Sue, June 9, 2010 @ 2:28 pm

    Hilly and Sammy:

    Thanks. It’s pretty obvious that things that give an eternal penalty for not suspending our natural urge to question, or for not suspending our innate sense of empathy and morality stem from a deep understanding of the human mind.

    It’s all based on taking us back to when we were helpless children, when the penalty for not believing in the parental figure was the possible loss of love, of home, of food, of clothing, of everything we needed to live.

    When we grow out of our dependency on those parental figures for our livelihoods, the belief systems that demand we take their word on simple faith because they lack the evidence to prove their finite reality take us back to childhood by once again laying down a penalty that states “If you don’t do what (the dictator, the deity, the whatever) says, you will suffer supreme punishment, either in this world (as in the case with the dictator) or in the next, eternally.

    They are using the psychological mechanisms that we developed as children again, and we oftentimes, then, allow ourselves to be treated as unruly children. We don’t question because the penalty for questioning is, to us, far, FAR worse than simply maintaining the status quo.

    That’s one of the reasons I refuse to live under a moral dictator of a soul I don’t possess. Because then, all I’m being treated as is an unruly child, who must be threatened with the penalty for disbelief in order to keep me in line.

    Well, I’m not a child. I will not be dictated to. I will not be told what I must believe. I will not be told that if I don’t believe, if I don’t use my brain for the reason it exists, TO question, TO learn, TO discover, than I am not alive. I am simply existing.

    On the other hand, I’ve heard so many people say “You have to believe what I believe becasue I have personally experienced…whatever…God/Allah/aliens/ghosts/whatever.”

    Because I’m not in your mind, seeing what you’re seeing, thinking what you’re thinking, and because none of us has the ability to get across exactly what their personal knowledge is in any way that another can understand it perfectly, there’s no way I can believe what you believe based on the fact that YOU believe it.

    I need my OWN proof, my OWN knowledge. I need to see it through my OWN eyes, in my OWN mind. And if the penalty for that is torture here on earth, or eternal torture after death, well then, here are my wrists, baby. Put me on your rack, because I’d sooner believe that pigs fly and that the crocoduck lives in a swamp in Tasmania.

    As Paul says, you can share your truths as your truths, speaking them outloud to set them in your head, speaking them out loud to perhaps put up sign posts and building blocks to a more universal understanding.

    But there is a world of difference between sharing your truths and demanding that others believe them as well, under penalty of eternal torment.

    Ya know?

    Sue

  • By hilly, June 10, 2010 @ 12:26 am

    “Well, I’m not a child. I will not be dictated to. I will not be told what I must believe. I will not be told that if I don’t believe, if I don’t use my brain for the reason it exists, TO question, TO learn, TO discover, than I am not alive. I am simply existing.”
    Great minds ;) (mutters in Sue’s ear – and that explains a lot, doesn’t it,)

    BTW you forgot the hoppopitamus and the heffalump at the bottom of the garden. Me, I’m happy to clap my hands and hope the fairies are still there when I need them.

  • By hilly, June 10, 2010 @ 12:33 am

    “At some point on your road you have to turn and start walking back towards yourself. Or the past will pursue you and bite the nape of your neck…”

    (Hilary Mantel: ‘Beyond Black’; a very good novel BTW)

    That’s an interesting thought. Paul, you often say that you shouldn’t go back; that you should move on. ‘Don’t go there’ but surely we can’t totally ignore our past; we have to learn from it and build on it to move forward (as you have done, it seems to me). So do we walk on like a bad actor/actress (you know the types : scene, park. X is walking alone. The killer is in the bushes watching…. And you can tell by the way the actor/actress is walking that s/he is anticipating the next bit of the action; s/he know what is coming and although X doesn’t – well you can see the anticipation) constantly on the alert for that bite on the nape of the neck?

    And if not – what strategies do we use to avoid it?

    just a random ramble in my brain before the migraine pills kick in….

  • By Christine, June 10, 2010 @ 3:15 am

    What is it with migraines? Sorry I know I am way off topic here but have you noticed how a migraine kind of rolls over into another day?. Still trying to get rid of mine. I hope you feel better soon Hilly. I’m seeing this typing in triple so I’m going to go for a cuppa!! Hope everyone else is doing fine xx

  • By Raffy, June 10, 2010 @ 6:13 am

    I was raised someway “Christian” , then I felt my heart beating for “Christianity”, in my own way, now I’m trying to go more and more into something which I feel wider, talking better to my soul and more meaningful to me. However at a certain point it was surprising and somehow unexpected to find myself out of my so heartfelt belief, the same I can say that I never had felt the oppression coming from that situation some people report, that is the “supreme punishment”, and the obsious reactions to it.
    I think that basically it is a wrong concept we could have about whatever religion…a misunderstanting about “revelations” from “above” on which most religions find their roots. Misunderstandings that some created just in order to gain some power over their fear and rule people more easily, especially in the past.
    A human thing, and the more people listen only to the interpretations of other human beings and the feelings this arise, the more I guess it becomes difficult to really penetrate the core of those beliefs and see if there is anything we could appreciate or even feel in our heart about them.

    But now…I think that one of the most difficult things is to recognize, to “see” our fear under our reactions…we are so used to label them for what their visible reality is or only as reactions to others’ behavior or to our own past. That sort of anguish, anxiety about the unknown is so prominent in our lives, however hidden it can be. Reactions don’t allow us to get in touch with our heart and others’ hearts. We can’t truly love…maybe we search for feelings of security, of commonality, but I think it is not unconditional love, it can live only in that place within ourselves where we already feel safe, where we can touch the fact that we already “are” and belong. Everything already is. But we don’t feel safe though, maybe just because we don’t feel, we only think and “create” just the second after we feel. I don’t think consciousness is in our mind, but we can become conscious using our minds. Otherwise the illusion of an ego emerges, and separateness with it. And where is this ego? Does it really exist? How much time do we spend in order to define it? As for me, still too much of it for sure! ;-)
    I guess our minds don’t accept that an universal energy could ever express itself through each of us, in different ways. If we could accept it for sure we would not see differences as something threatening us, but just as parts of the whole.
    Human races are many, but basically the human dna is the same…as it is what we want “at the end of the day, or night”….

    Thanks, Paul, for sharing “what feels right to you. What makes you curious and awed by this phenomenon called existence”…

    Namaste… Raffy

  • By Sammy, June 10, 2010 @ 7:59 am

    Hey Raffy…

    Just on a side note- almost 80% of the human genome contains viruses that got themselves inserted into us- So… we are not really what we think we are… I know it is not a pleasant thought :-(

  • By Raffy, June 10, 2010 @ 8:31 am

    Why not? we all share it…and after all…all things are one and the one is in each of us…

  • By xtexan86, June 10, 2010 @ 9:55 am

    Well, there’s certainly been some interesting discussion in here lately. And me being me, I have to put in my two cents…okay, maybe a nickle’s worth.

    What seems to pull my attention away from the true intent of this blog is the ‘excessive’ posting from a few people. Now, I don’t mean to imply that what these folks have to say isn’t important, but here’s how I see what’s going on….

    I’m invited to a party, with several dozen people. There’s a main group who are intelligent, funny and have interesting things to say. But over in the corner, is a larger group, with just as much to contribute, but I don’t hear them talking. Why? Perhaps for a variety of reasons, but to me, because they aren’t contributing, I don’t feel I’m experiencing the most out of the party.

    Now, the ‘host’ and ‘hostette’ see that this is happening, but for perhaps politically safe reasons, tend to only acknowledge it and go on with their own agendas. Since I realize this comment may not be fair to these people, please allow me to try and clarify.

    Pam M, I feel you are a sympathetic person who finds herself caught in the middle a little too often. For that, you have my utmost respect. But certainly you must realize that you have a relationship with PMG that NONE of us will ever have. It’s nice that you can say how much PMG has influenced you but you have the opportunity to have one-on-one discussions with him…we bloggers do not.

    PMG – I’ve always been a fan, but in the past year I do see you more of what you really are…just a person like myself trying to find his/her way home. I think that you, too, get caught in the middle of things and try your best to advance your knowledge and beliefs of how you see the world. There are times, though, when I would appreciate it if you could personally address just a question or two from the audience. But, this IS your blog and I’m just a voluntary member.

    So, my main point of this is just to encourage those ‘quieter’ lurkers to post your thoughts. I, for one, want to hear them and it really sickens me to know that a few posters who I had enjoyed reading their views, don’t feel welcome here anymore.

    Okay, fire away at me but just keep it respectful. xt

  • By hilly, June 10, 2010 @ 10:54 am

    good point xt (makes note to self to try to put it all on one post!)

  • By valerie, June 10, 2010 @ 11:01 am

    Thanks again paul for this thought.
    I’m agree. “here and now”.
    I understood your thought, but can’t always communicate in writing in your language(lol)…. but the main thing is to have access to this thought and to share it, isn’t it ?
    see you soon for a new thoughts
    .•*´¨`*•.¸.•*´ ¨`*•.¸¸ .•*´¨`*•¸.•*´

  • By Terri, June 10, 2010 @ 11:16 am

    Hi xtexan86, As one who stays more on the side lines I couldn’t help remembering being told many times (when I was young) ‘better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak and remove all doubt’. That now makes me smile but without the education and polish I so desired I do well just reading and learning. Terri

  • By Sue, June 10, 2010 @ 12:54 pm

    xt:

    I tend to post alot in one spurt in the beginning of a convo, then leave. I’d post most of my stuff in one post. However, when I want to edit, I have no ability to do so,unfortunately, and have to put more posts up to just edit what I said before.

    Sue

  • By carol4spot, June 10, 2010 @ 3:29 pm

    “So I ask you. In your deepest sense of yourself, of your hearts, after our minds have had their day judging and defending and labeling things right or wrong, fair or unfair and whatever, after that, when we ask ourselves what we really know that we want…and in that knowledge we also know that everyone at their core wants,…it is love. To be loved, to love, to belong eternally, to know that part of ourselves that goes on long after our bodies have called it quits.”

    Kind of weird how we all want love, which I do believe, but the world is filled with so much hate…When you say ‘everyone’ wants the same thing, does that mean EVERYONE, including people who kill? What are they looking for? Love?
    Love seems like such an easy thing to grasp but so hard to obtain. It seems like alot of people operate from hate..
    xocarol

  • By Frances, June 10, 2010 @ 3:59 pm

    xt
    Thanks for your kind words and for putting the situation in such a clear and concise way.
    I for one might just drop by a little more often now!
    Fran.

  • By sagacity, June 10, 2010 @ 4:08 pm

    xtexan,

    Your above post was most refreshing and appreciated. It is true, for those of us who feel unwelcomed, it often seems as though a “club” has been formed with those who first responded to the invitation (to join) being given (or having assumed) a VIP status in the absence of the president and vice president. That is not a criticism but a simple observation to be either registered or rejected as each person deems fit. Regardless, however, this is the status quo which both exists and remains unchallenged by those who created the blog–which is absolutely, positively their right, so the choice left to each of us is either to defend one’s “position” or decide to walk away Albeit I cannot speak for anyone else who feels “unwelcome,”for myself– because I respect the choice to allow this to go on as Paul Glaser’s right–I can only (as a result of that respect) act accordingly. In my case, this meant refraining from offering further comments or responses. Which disheartened me. Like you, I found myself enjoying many posts offered here until it seemed that–one by one–those whose views I looked most forward to reading disappeared.

    The experience has proven rather vexing. As was mentioned several posts above I (and apparently others) learned of this blog’s existence through a former classmate who asked me if I would do her a favor. She asked if I were willing to use my connections in the New York and D.C. library systems to introduce a selection of upcoming children’s titles she was particularly enthusiastic about. This request wasn’t unusual. Tinyea stakes her reputation on “her” writers, and I have never come away disappointed by the “star” clients she introduces. All were advance copies, but two were not actually available in manuscript or copy of any kind. She simply directed me to the author’s blog and asked me to get a feel for his writing style and voice then get back to her about including just a few promotional sound bites as a part of the future suggested reading campaigns (upon final approval of the author) sight unseen. As she’d never asked me for anything like this before, I was curious. At first, though, the name didn’t click. When the identity of the writer finally “hit” me, I was fascinated.

    Paul Glaser was one of those actors I had enjoyed but had somehow forgotten. I hadn’t expected to find Paul his views as interesting as I did (if only as a reflection of what we as people think–or believe–and why) much less be drawn into some of the discussions. But I must admit, I initially found his observations interesting though difficult to decipher and follow. And I wasn’t sure just how they would transfer to young adult themes. Even so, I admired his willingness to share his unique perspective, as most “celebrity” blogs consist of little more than superficial “fan fluff.” (If my statement offends others, that is–again–regrettable, yet it represents an honest OPINION.). I found myself joining in when I had not intented to do so.

    The responses, though, really took me by surprise, as did the fact that no intercession took place to curtail the disruptions. Even though I never, personally, received the brunt of things, this blog seemed an uncomfortable place to be. Under the circumstances, therefore…

    Let’s just say it seems best to keep “on the sidelines,” anticipating from afar responses like yours that lead me to think, question, and reexamine my own perspectives or conclusions.
    Even though the situation is probably not as upsetting to me as to others, who had more to say, developed more questions to ask, it is never pleasant to put into such a position.

    All in all, though, the whole thing struck me as a very sad state of affairs.

    S.W.S.

  • By Sue, June 10, 2010 @ 5:28 pm

    S.W.S

    I have a couple of observations that I’d like to make here. A little history: I was not involved in whatever happened last month. Indeed, I was only aware of it when the “apology” was made on this month’s comment block. I didn’t go back to read what went on, so if I’m speaking out of turn, I apologize, I am only going on what you and the person who made the apology are saying here and now.

    As I understand it, from reading the apology, the apologist was involved in some way with the blog author’s writing endeavors for a brief time, and then asked to leave because of a conflict.

    That should have been the end of it. Instead, the apologist went “behind his back”, if you will, to solicit the assistance of people he did not ask for nor desire, to read basically stream of consciousness adult views about adult topics in order to determine if he was a good writer of fictional books for children?

    That doesn’t make much sense to me. It would sort of be like me looking at how you painted the walls of your bathroom to see if you were a good portrait painter. The only thing that the two have in common is that words are printed on a paper by a particular person. A blog is not a carefully worded and edited work of fiction or allegory meant for a certain audience. It does not tell a story. It is the simple sharing of one person’s thoughts.

    Heck, I’m a writer and I thank goodness my publishers didn’t base my storytelling abilities on what I wrote on one blog or message board or another! One thing has nothing to do with another, as far as I can see.

    But, let’s assume for discussion purposes that this is a perfectly valid way of determining someone’s worth as a story writer.

    The facts that I garner from your post and the apologist’s post are that 1. you did not come to this blog to engage in philosophical discussion but rather to determine someone’s worth as a fiction writer by what he wrote on a blog that had nothing to do with fiction writing, 2. you were not asked by the blog’s author to come (and indeed, had he known about it beforehand, might have actively warned you away given that he wanted nothing further to do with the person who *did* ask you) and 3. felt uncomfortable by your treatment on a blog that you probably would not have even known existed except when you were asked to come to examine something that has nothing to do with why the blog is being written or what is in the blog itself, and finally 4. were, if not actively upset, perhaps disappointed that the author of the blog, who did not invite you to come and likely would not have had he known the reason behind your coming here, did not intercede on your behalf when you felt you were being poorly treated by those who *do* regularly blog here, by those who *are* interested in what the author has to say, not because they care if he has the potential to be a marketable author, but because he has interesting things to say.

    In a way, therefore, you were invited by someone who was asked to leave the party to crash that party, and when doing so, gained the wrath of some of the partygoers, and then wanted the party’s host to step in and smack down the other partygoers to protect you, the partycrasher for crashing the party.

    This blog is like many. People agree, they fawn, they fuss, and they fight. That has been going on from day one, had you wished to test the temperature of the water first before diving headlong into it. There *is* no intercession from the party host. It’s not that kind of blog. To demand answers from a man who has already stated (in black and white, had you cared to look) that he was not going to answer questions and this blog was for just putting his thoughts out there, and then getting upset when you didn’t receive the answers he’d already stated he wasn’t going to give you isn’t very logical, wouldn’t you agree?

    As far as I can tell, this blog doesn’t exist to make people feel comfortable. It introduces uncomfortable ideas, expounds on some, and leaves others to be interpreted as they may. It’s not a warm, fuzzy, feel good place where every post is accepted as the One True Truth. We’ve got theists vs atheists, Christians vs Pagans, all sorts of contentious stuff going on.

    Sort of, like many blogs, the Wild West of blogging. There’s no sheriff around wearing a white hat and a tin badge. You came onto this blog for your own reasons, as everyone does, though I”m imagining yours are quite unique. There are really no laws of etiquette here. If you get smacked down, as I see it you have two choices: Smack back or go home.

    But to be upset that you are being ill-treated when half the time, everyone hits up a wall of ill treatment here, be it a dissent to their ideas or an outright harsh word, makes me think that somehow you want rules specific for you that don’t apply to anyone else on this blog.

    I’m sorry you don’t feel comfortable here. Sometimes *I* don’t feel comfortable here. I doubt there is one poster on this blog who feels comfortable on here all the time. It’s not that kind of blog. I don’t think that blaming the author for rules he hasn’t placed there, or for your presence here which was under some pretense is exactly fair.

    But what is fair anyway? No one is telling you you can’t state your views. Go ahead and state them. But don’t expect everybody to keep their metaphorical mouths shut if they don’t believe your views. And don’t blame them when they don’t.

    Or do blame them. Just expect that finger to get pointed back to you. That’s the fun of blogging!

    It’s fun for me, at any rate.

    Sue

  • By xtexan86, June 10, 2010 @ 5:51 pm

    Sue, the main reason I asked PMG to consider answering a question or two was when this blog first came out, he did respond to a few posters. Evidently, in trying to be helpful, I feel PMG took on more than he wanted and since then he hasn’t offered any additional comments.

    My opinion is that occasionally, when someone is having trouble understanding a particular phrase that PMG has posted, if the author himself could step in for a moment and offer any words to help clarify, that would be great. People wouldn’t necessarily have to bounce ideas or opinions back and forth about what we THINK he meant. That’s all, but maybe that exercise in and of itself is a goal of sharing and could be what PMG doesn’t mind to see happening.

    It’s just my guess. xt

  • By Sue, June 10, 2010 @ 6:04 pm

    xt:

    I know I’ve read somewhere on here him saying directly that he wouldn’t be answering questions any more. For a new person to come on the blog and all but demand he answer questions shows me that they didn’t bother reading the “rules” before posting.

    I think it’s like he said in this month’s post. He just puts his thoughts out there, as much to see them set down on paper (that helps me with my thoughts too sometimes) as to share them with a wider audience. The best thing about philosophy is how each person interprets the particular tenet being discussed; how they absorb the words and what they think the words mean to them. I don’t think there’s an actual right or wrong to anything here. It’s like, “here’s a set of ideas. Let’s see where you go with them.”

    Reading carefully his topic posts from month to month shows me that he’s more than aware of what goes on, and he seems to adjust his topics to what he sees. I’ve had more than one question answered simply by reading the next post he makes. He sees by the comments where things go off track and tries to clarify what he’s said to see if people can understand it better this time around.

    Sometimes I do, sometimes I don’t, but it’s always fun trying to take those words and see if they make sense to my own way of thinking.

    That being said, I think each person is responsible for his or her own level of comfort here. I don’t think it’s anyone else’s responsibility to assure my comfort on this blog. Only I can do that for myself. I have the right to leave at any time I wish.

    I can leave if I’m uncomfortable, or I can stiffen my spine and wade back in. Either way is my choice. No one else should be expected to see to my comfort. Everyone here has different comfort levels. Something that would have me in tears might have you ready and raring to go. It is what it is. As adults, I think it’s incumbent upon each and every one of us to determine our own level of comfort and interact accordingly. That’s what living in a free society is all about, and judging from this blog, it’s as free a society as you can get! :D :D :D

    Take it easy, xt. I, for one, enjoy your posts a great deal, and hope to see many more of them in the future.

    SUe

  • By sagacity, June 10, 2010 @ 6:14 pm

    With all due respect, Sue, the woman was (and probably still is) dying. That is the reason she “went behind his back.” As she explained it to me, her objective was to leave a legacy by helping in whatever small way she could. I knew of no parting of the ways until I read of it above. At the time, however, she was frantic do do her part to setthings into motion for several of her prized projects by those brave souls opting to “self-publish”, this being only one of them. And the others, I might add, appreciated the efforts, especially given the circumstances.

    This has nothing to do with this blog, and I will post no more. I meant only to give background, not to call under fire a woman I have grown to admire greatly. Still it is good that you have clarified my status as “being” here “under false pretenses.”

    xt:

    As always, thanks for trying.

    S.W.S.

  • By xtexan86, June 10, 2010 @ 7:50 pm

    Saga,(and others), thanks for your posts. Sue does bring up a good point, we are all responsible for our own comfort here. No other poster, or Pam M, or PMG can do that for us. As adults, we need to pick our battles and let things slide that aren’t worth fighting about.

    In going over PMG’s post, I feel there is a very close second to ‘love’ being the one thing we all seek. That other desire is ‘purpose.’

    For some reason, I can’t understand why this particular era of my life isn’t what I’d expected. To be rich? No, not really. To have a significant other? Yeah, I kinda thought I’d accomplish that by now. To be content? Well, yes, all things considered, I am ‘content’…I have a roof over my head, some food in the fridge, a car or two that runs, and family that loves me. Purpose? Ah ha!

    And see, to me that seems to be my biggest problem. When I was in my 20′s, I had a ‘purpose’ – become an independent adult, make a little money, buy a home…you get the picture. 30′s – same thing. 40′s – accomplished a few more goals, but the body is definitely showing signs of wear. 50′s – now it’s scary. I guess this is why they call it ‘a mid-life crisis.’ I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a big field, with no idea which direction to go in.

    Love is good, but without purpose, what are we?

    I wonder if I’m just looking at life the wrong way. I had someone tell me once I spend too much time in my own head. I guess I’d have to agree with that. Also, my state of mind could be due to the massive hormone imbalance going on inside me, but I won’t ‘go there.’

    Anyway, if someone feels they could contribute some insight here, feel free to jump in. Despite this being a horrible day, (highlight? A $10,990 Emergency Room bill arrived in the mail) I’m still trying to salvage what I can of it. xt

  • By OnceNefarious, June 10, 2010 @ 8:07 pm

    It would seem to me that it’s just basic human decency (and maturity) to be considerate. It doesn’t take any character to disregard the opinions of others and selfishly defend ones own beliefs. There’s a fine line between making people comfortable and making people feel UNWELCOME, and for all the talking people do about this being a shared thoughts blog, there are some people here who seem to only want to share their OWN thoughts, not to let others share theirs. Seems very selfish and immature to me. It gets very tiring watching people leave not because they are uncomfortable with the idea of blunt honesty but simply because they did not come here to be treated as if their opinions do not matter, or as if they do not deserve any respect at all. It’s hard for me to believe sometimes that this blog is filled with adults and not children.

    I stand by xt 100%, even though my comment is not very relevant to hers. Who is Sue, or anyone else here, to try to determine whether someone deserves to be here or not, or to judge the pretense under which someone came to this blog?

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, June 10, 2010 @ 11:39 pm

    QUERIDO PAUL
    LOS SERES HUMANOS NO SOMOS PERFECTOS ,TODOS LOS DÍAS TRATAMOS DE SE MEJORES PERSONAS ,ESTAMOS SIEMPRE BAJO LOS PRECEPTOS DEL BIEN Y DEL MAL ,PORSUPUESTO QUE LOS MAS IMPORTANTE ES EL AMOR SIN AMOR NO PODEMOS HACER LAS COSAS BIEN ,QUE ES EL BIEN QUE ES EL MAL ,CREO QUE ESO LO TENEMOS MUY CLARO EN NUESTROS CORAZONES ,SABEMOS SI ESTAMOS OBRANDO BIEN O MAL ,CADA UNO PUEDE TOMAR EL CAMINO QUE QUIERA .¿ TODOS QUEREMOS EL AMOR .TODOS QUEREMOS HACER EL BIEN ? YO CREO QUE NO HAY GENTE QUE TIENE MUCHA MALDAD Y NO LE INTERESA SI OTRO SER HUMANO ,SUFRE O TIENE DETERMINADO PROBLEMA ,PERO TODO LO QUE SE SIEMBRA EN ESTA VIDA EN ALGÚN MOMENTO SE COSECHARA ,TENEMOS QUE APRENDER CADA DÍA ,CADA DÍA TIENE UN APRENDIZAJE .UNA ENSEÑANZA .SI ALGUIEN DA SU TIEMPO SU AMOR SU AYUDA HAY QUE HACERLO SIN PENSAR EN TENER UNA RESPUESTA O UNA DEMANDA POR LO QUE REALIZO YA QUE UNO SI LO HACE LO HACE DESDE EL CORAZÓN ,COMO DIJE EN ALGÚN MOMENTO EL CAMINO DE LA VIDA EL MAS DIFÍCIL ES EL DEL BIEN .EL MAS FÁCIL ES EL DEL MAL .PERO TRAE SUS CONSECUENCIAS .YO TENGO MIS CREENCIAS MIS NORMAS DE VIDA Y NO PUEDO PRETENDER QUE EL OTRO SEA IGUAL QUE YO TENGO QUE ACEPTARLO COMO ES .TENER RESPETO ,TOLERANCIA -DIFÍCIL NO ¡¡ PERO NO IMPOSIBLE .EN ESTOS DÍAS CUMPLO 48 AÑOS Y EN ESTA VIDA APRENDÍ MUCHAS COSAS EL DESAMOR ,EL AMOR LA TOLERANCIA LA INTOLERANCIA EL RACISMO EL NO RACISMO ETC ETC… PELEAMOS POR COSAS BANALES SIN IMPORTANCIA SI TODOS TENDRÍAMOS AMOR ,SERIA COMO VIVIR EN EL PARAÍSO ,PERO ESTAMOS EN ESTE MUNDO DONDE HAY INSEGURIDAD, MALDAD ,DONDE HAY MUCHA COMPETENCIA ,ENVIDIA ,QUIEN TIENE MAS PODER ,ES INNUMERABLES LAS COSAS QUE SUCEDEN EN ESTE MUNDO .LO IMPORTANTE QUE CADA UNO DE NOSOTROS QUEREMOS CAMBIAR SER MEJORE PERSONAS HACER LA DIFERENCIA ,COMO DECIR LAS PALABRAS CORRECTAS PARA NO OFENDER PARA NO HERIR SE HIERE CON NUESTRAS ACTITUDES POR QUE REALMENTE MUCHAS VECES NOS OLVIDAMOS DE NUESTROS SENTIMIENTOS ,SABEMOS QUE ESTAMOS HACIENDO LAS COSAS MAL Y NO LO QUEREMOS RECONOSER .¡¡ YO PROSIGO A LA META ¡¡ REALMENTE NO SE EN QUE VA A TERMINAR ,PERO LO INTENTO CADA DÍA DE MI VIDA ,USTED TIENE ESTE BLOG Y COMPARTE SUS REFLEXIONES Y ME PARECE MUY BIEN .HOY ESCRIBO ESTO POR QUE ES LO QUE TENGO EN MI CORAZÓN ,CADA UNO TIENE UN SUEÑO EN LA VIDA Y LOS SUEÑOS O ANHELOS SON TESOROS POR DESCUBRIR ,CADA VES QUE SE CUMPLE UN SUEÑO DE NUESTRA VIDA ES UN TESORO ENCONTRADO ,SERA QUE SOY MUY SOÑADORA O MUY SENTIMENTAL .NO LO SE ,TODAVÍA ESTOY EN EL PROCESO DE CONOCERME A MI MISMA ,QUE MARAVILLOSO ES EL AMOR PERO ESE AMOR INCONDICIONAL ¿TODOS REALMENTE QUEREMOS LO MISMO ? CREO QUE NO ,PERO ESTA PEQUEÑAPORCIÓN DE PERSONAS QUE QUEREMOS LO MISMO PODEMOS HACER LA DIFERENCIA ,GRACIAS SEÑOR PAUL M GLASER POR SUS PALABRAS Y GRACIAS A TODOS LOS QUE ESCRIBEN EN ESTE BLOG POR QUE DE CADA UNO DE ELLOS SACO UNA ENSEÑANZA .PAUL DIOS LO BENDIGA GRANDEMENTE Y MUCHAS BENDICIONES A TODOS
    HILDA LIPORACE (ARGENTINA ) ¿GANAREMOS EL MUNDIAL DE FÚTBOL ? JA JA JA JA BUENAS NOCHES

  • By heidi, June 11, 2010 @ 12:47 am

    Hilda Liporace-gracias por las bendiciones. Buena suerte en el mundial de futbol en AFRICA.

    Sometimes, I think we expect too much from LIFE. Perhaps we should settle for less and lower our expectations, I don’t know.

  • By Zara, June 11, 2010 @ 1:28 am

    Hi Paul Some of my humble and personal experiences /inspirational/ musings.etc in reply to some of your topics on your blogs this year the past ones and the present one of this month

    The Ocean of Divine Eternal Love has no Devisions/no Separations /is all Inclusive/Embracing /Liberating/Healing/ Supportive/ Restorative/Renewing/Rebirthing//Regenerative/
    this Divine Love is Empowering

    This Love takes away our Fears/our Helplessness can be Channelled into Healing each other/ Healing our problems/inhibitions/blockages/ liberates us from our fears /Anger[ which is just another fear in my humble opinion] liberates us from our judgements and brings in our acceptance of ourselves and others

    These are just my humble experiences as ive walked along lifes pathway and in my personal spiritual studies /visions and meditations

    to follow below Some quotations that have inspired me through the years that i wanted to share

    Rudyard Kipling
    ” There is Nothing to Fear but Fear itself ”

    A Bible quotation
    “Perfect Love Casteth Out Fear ”

    Not sure where this quotation below originated from

    “Fear Knocked at the Door Faith Answered it and there was Nothing there ”

    Kind regards to you Paul for sharing your spirituality and thought provoking material etc

    Love and Best wishes to everyone on these posts

    Zara

  • By Sue, June 11, 2010 @ 2:23 am

    OnceNefarious:

    Nice strawman! Well done! Only, you haven’t run into someone who will turn her back to your words. I’m not trying to determine anything. I posted exactly why the original poster (dying or not) stated you all were here, mentioned it to be sure I understood it correctly, then went on to say that you were all very welcome to post no matter why you came!

    Amazing how you cherry pick my words for those most advantageous to your cause, the cause of calling everyone “meanies” and wanting everyone to feel sorry for you, and miss the main gyst of the post that says no matter who you are, no matter why you’re here, post away, have fun, and deal with the fact that no sheriff is going to rescue you from the others here.

    I’ve gotten smacked down, xts gotten smacked down, Hilly’s gotten smacked down, Pam’s gotten smacked down. Nothing gives you any speshul snowflake status.

    We all go through what you’ve gone through. That’s the nature of this blog. Don’t demand to be treated any differently than anyone else is at one time or another.

    But keep building those straw men, however! I’d love to light a bonfire! :D

    Sue

  • By Sue, June 11, 2010 @ 2:33 am

    S.W.S

    With all due respect back to you, I am sorry your friend is dying, as we all are dying. Your tone, however, implies that I should have somehow known that in advance of my posting. As I said clearly, I could only go on what she and you had posted, and I gave a summary of those posts to make sure I had gotten it correctly.

    It would have been quite simple, and educational, for you to simply tell me where my logic, based on your posting, was incorrect so that I might be able to come to a better understanding of circumstances.

    Instead, I’m told that “for goodness sake, have some compassion, she’s *dying!*

    This doesn’t help at all. This doesn’t help me know more where I’m off on my logic of your appearance here.

    It also quite conveniently skips over the majority of my post which says that no matter why you’re here, under what pretenses, you have a right to post anything you wish. What you don’t have a right to is to be treated any differently than any other person on this blog is treated.

    I would welcome your posts. I would debate what I disagreed with, and agree with where our minds lay side by side. That’s not treating you poorly. That’s treating you exactly as a member of this blog is treated.

    Can’t see the wrong in that.

    Sue

  • By hilly, June 11, 2010 @ 2:41 am

    in every season turn turn turn
    there is a reason turn turn turn
    and a time and a place…..

  • By Christine, June 11, 2010 @ 3:25 am

    You know, when I was younger I had dreams of becoming a singer. A friend of mine is a singer, and was kind enough to say he thought I had a good voice. (I don’t think anyone can really judge for themselves). Anyway he advised me against it, saying I was way too sensitive and people would ‘eat me alive’ with any snide comments. I think he was right.
    I have the shakes walking into a room of people I barely know!!. Me sing? Infront of others?.
    My point is here (finally, I hear you cry!) Society throws all kinds of remarks, lies and insults at celebrities. Without a thought on how this makes that person ‘feel’. ‘Its part of the territory’ people cry…. isn’t this the biggest cop-out going?. So, basically it is ok to do this because they ‘chose’ to be famous? You see in the media every day some celebrity being ripped to pieces. Hardly surprising then, just how many of them turn to drink/drugs etc etc for the pressure.
    So ok, you say we all have things said against us, the difference is we don’t have it in the media or in public. If you are wise, I guess you learn to rise above it. I always try to remember when reading; this is someone’s dad, brother/sister etc, how would we feel if this were our loved one being hurt? Or someone we really care about. We are all human we all have feelings but my own personal opinion is that we almost expect our celebrities to have a suit of armour on, everyone ‘feels’. So I will be forever singing around my house!!. Just my thoughts on ‘fame’ who would want it huh?.
    With love as always,
    Christine xx

  • By OnceNefarious, June 11, 2010 @ 4:47 am

    Sue,

    First of all, you make assumptions. You don’t know who I am or why I am here.

    Second. Who are you to come on this blog as if it’s your own personal domain calling names, making catty remarks, and announcing to others why you have a right to be mean, thoughtless, and nasty under the guise of “debating.” It takes no character whatsoever to hide behind a computer screen to ridicule strangers or their ideas. And if you take such pleasure in being vicious and causing chaos and pain, why not go pull the wings from butterflies or pluck the eyes from humming birds instead.

    In responding to your childish challenge, I am probably doing no more than lying down in the filth with the swine. I’ll wash away the pestilence later. For now, it is arrogant, ego-maniacal and just undeniably malicious to declare to me or anyone that the purpose is this blog is to “slap” people “down”. The purpose is to listen to what one man has to say and possibly give an observation or two on your own. Not name calling or taking out your own childish frustrations and aggressions on other people because doing so makes you feel superior to others.

    Yes, I can officially say I am really disappointed in Paul Michael Glaser. Any one who would, as you say, create a blog for the sole purpose of stirring up backbiting and malice is no one I, personally, can admire or respect.

    Save your poison, Sue. Even though you have so graciously invited others to remain on YOUR blog so that you may take pot shots at them, this scarecrow, having no brain, doesn’t plan to stick around to be treated like trash.

  • By Christine, June 11, 2010 @ 5:48 am

    Hi Paul, This is a little off topic folks so I hope you don’t mind. My mother died 28 years ago today. 28 years is a long time, you learn to live without her being around, I now have a daughter who is as close to me as I was to my mam. The point is for various reasons which I won’t go into she didn’t have either a happy or long life.
    Pmg brought my mother so much pleasure over the years you have no idea. I can remember those happier times we had and believe me I will always treasure them. When my daughter and I went to see Paul in panto, I was talking to Amy about just what that evening would have meant to my mother.
    People remain in our minds, special people are always in our hearts too, so for all the years you made my mam happy Paul thank you. You are one of those special people.
    With love as always,
    Christine.xx

  • By heidi, June 11, 2010 @ 6:04 am

    The word “fear” crops up a lot here. Perhaps we should in the words of Oscar Hammerstein–”Whistle a happy tune whenever we get afraid–”
    Just joking,everybody!

    Perhaps there is some truth in it. My father loved whistling along to Al Jolson’s songs and Bing Crosby–they were good whistlers too.

    He also told us that music and dance got them through the Depression years and when he had to march through France and Belgium as a soldier in the Second World War—boosting morale.
    Has the art of whistling died out?? When was the last time you heard someone whistle in the streets?
    Not so many years ago, I heard people whistling at work or at bus-stops even wolf whistles to pretty girls passing in the streets so I used to think that they were happy.

    Nowadays, people are so tied up with their own lives and work that they do not appreciate the simple things in life.Sometimes, I wish the pace of life would slow down.
    Bing Crosby once sang”I’m happy doing nothing–busy the whole day long”"

  • By Saskia, June 11, 2010 @ 6:11 am

    oncenefarious – we all know who you are, and why you are spreading your malice on this blog. You are deliberatly picking fights and being a BULLY to get a reaction. Paul Michael Glaser is a lovely man, you can see this through his words and his respect for his fans; you will not distroy that outlook for me or his other loyal fans, however hard you try.

    You can come back at me with a million insults, calling me catty, horrible…unintelligent, pick a one, they are all for the taking. The thing is I do not care, your viciousness does not bother me one bit, you, should look at yourself long and hard, why is it that you come on here and cause such a riot? What do you have to gain, hmm?

    You can call me, call him, call his fans, but you will not gain anything or stop us from coming on here; we, of course will not stop you, you have free will, but it does not mean we will listen to your harsh tongue or nasty comments.

    Now, people can we go back to Paul’s words? :) I can probably guess that this will not happen because of some individuals, but lets not prevent us from discussing and being kind to eachother as we always have been – until someone or something comes along and disturbs the peace.

    peace
    -Saskia

  • By heidi, June 11, 2010 @ 6:11 am

    There are a lot of Mr. Glaser’s fans on this site. Can someone help me out here? Who wrote the music to “Fiddler on the Roof?” And where was the film made?
    Here is a memory to share with you. When I was stressed out with exams in school, my relatives took me to the local cinema to see this film. WE didn’t know what to expect but left the cinema feeling uplifted. The music and performances were fine.
    My favourite song was sung by Topol in the tavern..to LIFE.

    A few months ago, in a music group, the pianist started playing “If I were a rich man”" and it was good to hear everybody joining in and singing along!

    Just a shared memory for you all!

  • By hilly, June 11, 2010 @ 6:18 am

    some of the answers Heidi (I first saw him in Fiddler and thought he was a good actor long before he did S&H BTW – family joke: Fiddler on the Roof is our version of Roots!)

    Most of it was filmed at Pinewood Studios, England and locations in (what was still) Yugoslavia. If you can get hold of the anniversary edition the extras are fascinating….and somewhere on this site I think you will find and interview where Paul talks about that shoot.

    for more info – the Imdb website is a godsend

  • By Rachelle, June 11, 2010 @ 6:36 am

    Christine – Thinking of you today. Your Mom sounds very special to you. Hugs!

    Zara – Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Very lovely!

    Heidi – ‘Fiddler On The Roof’ is a great movie. I just bought it from Amazon a few months ago. I really like “Any Day Now”.*G*

    Happy Friday Paul, Pam and everyone!

  • By Sue, June 11, 2010 @ 8:17 am

    To tell me Naffy! Thanks so much for all the straw!!! I can have me a real barner now! So would you care to to tell me exactly where I said I owned this blog? Whazzamtta keed…can’t ya? There’s a cure for that, hon. Truth. What a concept.

    Keep on trying lil darlin. One day you’ll get it. Until then, you’ll always be mama’s speshul lil snowflake.

    Sue

  • By Sarah Levy, June 11, 2010 @ 9:10 am

    @Saskia…Well said! :-)

    @Christine…I’m so sorry to hear you have been so long without a mother. I hope that on this day, you are able to remember the happy times you shared with her.

    Since Paul began the blog, I’ve enjoyed not only his thoughts but the thoughts of many others who have posted on here. I don’t always instantly understand all of what Paul has written but nonetheless, I enjoy the whole experience. There have been occasions when I haven’t agreed with another person’s point of view, but it has been both interesting and thought provoking to discuss their ideas with them. I enjoy ‘seeing’ things from another person’s perspective. These branches of new ideas have often sprung from something Paul has written in his blog. When put to good use, the mind truly is a wonderful thing. Surely though, the key to everyone enjoying the blogging and communication experience is ‘respect’… Respect for the blogger and respect for the other people you are communicating with.

    I really hope that this blog continues because I look forward to reading Paul’s thoughts and most of the ones that people post here. Yes, even the ones I might not agree with because they are helping me to open my mind to new ideas. I am truly grateful to Paul for taking the time and effort to share his ideas and also to the people who want to discuss and share their beliefs and thoughts.

    Best Wishes,
    Sarah

  • By Sarah Levy, June 11, 2010 @ 9:43 am

    ‘So, I propose that we view each others different ways, beliefs, ideas with more curiosity. Not just curiosity in all the different ways, but curiosity in ourselves and our own process of holding on, attaching, afraid to let go of any or all of the beliefs that our minds would have us identify with.’

    Curiosity is a marvellous thing. Sometimes it can get us into hot water, other times it can help us. However, without curiosity, without that feeling that we want to learn more, know more, about ourselves and other people and things, we’d be very hollow beings. Watching a toddler who learns mostly through curiosity is incredible. The look on the child’s face when curiosity has spurred them on to learn something new is an amazing thing to witness. I think that as adults, we lose some of that natural curiosity and prefer to cling on to beliefs that feel safe to us and that’s a great shame.

    Best Wishes,
    Sarah

  • By Zara, June 11, 2010 @ 10:26 am

    Hi Paul and Everyone

    I posted earlier today on this thread .. but a few more of my humble thoughts,feelings inspirations /.experiences have come to my thoughts … and i felt i wanted to share them with you all ..so i hope you dont mind ne doing that ..

    Please forgive me as ive posted up a similar .. written work by mistake on the wrong page …and on an older thread back from February i think /.. when it as meant to be posted on this current page … so my apologies for that …and this similar piece of writing now here .

    I see things as / feel things ./ visions / meditations / studies / and my
    experiences of the Divine in my past and present as is written here .

    Like a River flows sweet surrender into the Ocean of the Timeless /The Eternal/ The Divine Love Aspect..

    This Divine love / this Benevolence of Being /This Grace/ Streams towards us / moves through us / in Union with us together in Oneness / to Assist / to Heal us / help us to grow in Maturity in Understanding and in Enlightenment …we in position as Co Creators with Divine Love /Divine Plan

    The Divine Light / Love / Compassion / Healing like the River Flowing within the thinking Mind .. acting as a bridge of connection between the Higher Plane/s and Lower Plane that we inhabit …

    The thinking Mind harnessed / self disciplined from its restless wanderings and in surrender to the Higher plane/s and Divine thoughts… thus the lower mind the thinking mind thus transformed and renewed and then in service/ in submission to the Divine Mind of God and to Humanity ……/ the Guidance . the Healing the Protection coming from the Source the Divine Universal Level of being .. we are all drinking from this River of Life ….

    The thinking Mind transformed becomes the Bridge of understanding / connecting and helping us all make sense of it all… the Mysteries of life … and al the pains and sufferings that are entailed in a Human life on Earth as a Human Being .

    The thinking Mind is not the real person .. the Soul [the feeling part , with the will / the emotions, the intellect therein ]is not the Real person either .. its the Spirit that sits in its illuminated state of Enlightenment/ Bliss / Peace / in Silence / In love / In Wisdom and Flows with Grace through ones very Being / this Inner Presence ..Radiant Rays Shining outwards …Blessing all it touches ..in all manner of ways …the Light Beams forth / us in alignment with the Divine ….then the Dark Shadows fade into the background …like a Beacon in the Night light shines down …Illuminating the Pathway ahead / Drawing to it /in Warmth / Embracing / Connecting / Self Realisation..oneness of Spirit and Being…

    A further comment /thought on Death this is just my humble opinion ..on the subject of Death being an illusion …. and just a Gateway to pass through to ones true Home above ..in which to return to when the Earth Plane work is complete .

    My Blessings to you Paul and all of your work/ including your new endeavours and the Books you are currently writing al of your work which is so meaningful and helpful to others ..

    May i also send out blessings to others on this thread that are in loss of their loved ones who have paseed over …and/ or currently in pain and or in suffering

    May some of the love that i feel within me / some of the light / somehow touch and Heal you all ..and make your pathway/s easier

    Blessings to you all / Much Love and
    [[[Healing Hugs]]] to you all Zara XXX

  • By Sarah Levy, June 11, 2010 @ 10:49 am

    Hi Zara,

    The following paragraph intrigues me;

    ‘A further comment /thought on Death this is just my humble opinion ..on the subject of Death being an illusion …. and just a Gateway to pass through to ones true Home above ..in which to return to when the Earth Plane work is complete .’

    Do you believe there is a heaven in the sense that many religions believe in it? Or do you believe we live elsewhere before returning to earth? For many years, I believed that when a person dies, that was it. However, over the past few years, I have come to believe that there is an afterlife but I do not believe in the traditional heaven and hell. I’m still not sure about reincarnation. That is something I am currently learning more about.

    Best Wishes,
    Sarah.

  • By hilly, June 11, 2010 @ 11:12 am

    over the past few years, I have come to believe that there is an afterlife but I do not believe in the traditional heaven and hell. I’m still not sure about reincarnation. That is something I am currently learning more about.

    took the words off my keyboard ;) !

    this is something to explore here maybe? have we ‘been here before’? Why is it that some of us have more experiences of ‘déjà vu’ than others – and not always explicable ones? Have you ever met someone (not necessarily ‘in person’ and been sure that you knew them somewhere else – on another plane of time/another life. Maybe not ‘all’ of them but their spirit or a part of it. A feeling that you know that there is a point of common interest that has come from another moment?

    sorry I’m ‘thinking on my feet’ here – not working it out before I type (which is what I usually do even if I don’t write it out first)

    I suppose what I’m trying to hit is a definition of that expression ‘kindred spirits’. Or, if not a definition, an exploration and an attempt to make sense of it.

    I don’t believe in ‘souls’ in the religious sense of the word – but in the sense of some kind of conscious spirit – that part of us striving to reach Nirvana.

    Good grief, I think I’ve confused myself.
    (relevant) comments needed!

  • By hilly, June 11, 2010 @ 11:14 am

    PS Zara….I think it is almost inevitable that we repost ‘similar work’ in these discussions because there are themes that Paul returns to – and so we continue exploring the ideas they set off.

  • By Christine, June 11, 2010 @ 11:17 am

    Hi Rach, and Sarah, Thank you ladies. xx

    Hi Zara, Your words are lovely, and very interesting.

    Best wishes,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, June 11, 2010 @ 11:39 am

    Hi Hilly, I think its possible to feel an instant connection with someone I actually mentioned this on here a while back. Its a very interesting ‘feeling’ not one that I have ever felt previously or since; but I was picking up on such vibes, did he feel the same as I did? I have no idea, I never had the chance or the nerve to ask lol. Who knows maybe we had been close in a previous life? I can’t explain it, but I know I felt it just like the goosebumps are starting now just thinking about it. I believe in reincarnation, there are some fascinating books on it!!. There are just so many unexplained things happen to us in life, like for instance have you ever picked up your phone to ring someone and its immediately rang and that person is ringing you?. Or you just have a feeling something is wrong and can’t put a finger on it then you get bad news? Maybe our brains are more tuned in than we think.
    Really interesting subject Hilly, please e-mail me let me know who this person was :) xx

  • By Sarah Levy, June 11, 2010 @ 11:59 am

    There has been a few occasions when I have felt an instant bond with a person and within minutes of meeting them, felt that I have always known them.

    With regard to ‘life after death’, I believe that I have had proof that there is an afterlife. However, I realise that what constitutes proof for me, won’t be proof for everyone. That is why I have used the word ‘believe’.

    With regard to reincarnation, I am still looking for answers. Maybe, one day, I will believe that I have found them, maybe I won’t. Searching for what might be, is certainly an interesting experience for me. :-)

  • By Sue, June 11, 2010 @ 1:02 pm

    With the love of my life, the first time I looked into her eyes, I knew that’d I’d known her forever. A second later, I knew that was flat-out rubbish, but my heart kept telling me that I’d known her forever.

    Up until that point, though I’d loved many and been in love with a few, this was like a nuclear explosion compared to a few fireworks sizzling on a rainy July night.

    It was like something outside of both of us, this unseen, unseeable force was encircling us with this huge bubble of “it was meant to be”, and that never, ever stopped.

    While I can’t explain it, I also don’t think it has anything to do with reincarnation or any other supernatural causal agent. Don’t know what it is, but it sure feels damn good when it happens.

    That’s another reason why others’ deeply personal experiences of the supernatural don’t affect me at all. Because I’ve had my share, and I still don’t believe anything exists outside of this life that I’m living now–as far as me having lived some other life before.

    Perhaps this feeling of ‘oneness’ comes from a brief glimpse into the fourth dimension, which does exist but which we are not equipped to perceive.

    Or maybe that’s just utter crap, and I’ll never know the answer.

    And you know what? That’s perfectly fine with me. :D

    Sue

  • By Sarah Levy, June 11, 2010 @ 1:22 pm

    Sue,

    It’s great that you have experienced that feeling with the love of your life. Many never get to. I think that sometimes, we have to try and find a reason for instant chemistry between ourself and another person. That’s just the way our minds work. There are times when it’s beautiful to just enjoy the moment and not looks for answers.

    Sarah :-)

  • By Saskia, June 11, 2010 @ 1:33 pm

    Sarah/Sue I 100% agree with this. Some people just ‘click’ together, it being romantically/friendship… the bond sometimes will just appear and never leave. It is a beautiful thing and something to really enjoy. :)

    peace
    -Saskia

  • By Christine, June 11, 2010 @ 1:56 pm

    Hi Jimbo, Your words are so beautiful, what a lovely way to write about love.

    Hi Chavie, Thank you so much for the link to that beautiful song.

  • By hilly, June 11, 2010 @ 11:49 pm

    Well Sue in my case when I heard the explosion I should have run for cover; he didn’t turn out to be the love of my life, more the disaster that colored things a dark shade of depression blue for a few years! Since then I’ve “met a stranger” and summoned up the courage to fly by side once or twice too often. Now I’ve given up and prefer the company of a few friends and a good book (and a cat).

    I hope next time I’ll come back as a beloved cat.

  • By heidi, June 12, 2010 @ 1:09 am

    Thanks for all the information on “Fiddler on the Roof”!!
    Sarah Levy, I’m just curious. What happened to make you believe in the afterlife? You don’t need to say if you don’t want to-I will understand.

    Years ago, we watched Mr. Glaser in the life story of Houdini.
    Houdini promised to give his wife a sign if he died. What was it? Was it a flower? I can’t remember. It was a nice touch in the film.

    When we die, the flesh rots but I believe there is a spirit or soul or consciousness that survives. Loved ones who have died can not speak to us but I believe they can communicate with us in other ways.

  • By hilly, June 12, 2010 @ 2:13 am

    isn’t it one of the Amerindian traditions that says that your spirit is still ‘alive’ as long as there’s someone to remember your name?

  • By Zara, June 12, 2010 @ 2:50 am

    Hi Guys and Girls ..

    Im having real daily problems logging onto the site / sometimes i cant get on at all… and its taking many attempts to do so…. also cant seem to change the password letters and numbers[ given to me when i first registered ] to something i can remember so please advise me lovely people ,if there is something i need to do to sort this problem out ?

    So please excuse if i do not reply immediately …. this is thee reason ive not replied to some of your questions about my posts as yet

    Also i live in England so there is a time difference as well …

    Hi Rachelle Thank you for your kind comments and welcome to the site ..

    Hi Hilly Thank you, to you too, for your comments regarding Mr Paul M Glasers discussions and debates / and themes explored and often returned to ….so it gives me an idea now .. of how things are discussed on the posts and threads here …

    Hi Sarah…Thank you for your reply to me … and on the questions you asked me ,on what i had written regarding .”.Heaven” etc

    Well these are just my humble beliefs and concepts for exploration on Heaven / Hell /Reincarnation etc ..

    Maybe Heaven and Hell are of our own making ,as in our own thoughts beliefs etc ….thats one viewpoint for exploring …

    After many studies/ from many varied sources s there does seem to be a heavily agreed upon comments/ experiences in this Heaven and Hell Theme .

    Some people in for instance, OBE`s[ Out of the Body Experiences.. have experienced Heaven .... whilst others Have Experienced , a so called Hell ...

    This is also spoken of and about in various Religions / some more than others, and is described also in the Bible somewhere, in the New Testament ...i think its where it speaks of the Story of Beggar and the Rich Man ... and where they both ended up when they died ....
    [ at present i forget where exactly that is as a Story in the New Testament ,so please forgive me for that ]

    Ive also read books on Emmanual Swedenberg
    [ i hope ive got the spelling of his name right ]…
    He clearly saw visions of Heaven and Hell and was taken up in experiences , a bit like Ezekial in the Old Testament Scriptures ,if i remember correctly , these very old written works exprsss these themes
    of Mr E Swedenberg .. describe what he saw….so it make for interesting Reading

    Ive had some experiences myself of OBE as many others have done in this Day and Age …

    Some i believe can do it at will ..the Wise Sages etc .. and Trained Yogi`s..etc

    Ive found my life on Earth extremely painful at times…. so im careful what i believe in.. as one quotation from the the Bible is
    ” As a Man /Woman thinketh [ as in his /her thoughts ]so its in his Heart ” and he may carry those with him in concepts ,that can manifest in certain areas for Good or Ill ..im not saying they will manifest, but could ..

    So i think the Daily walk of Spirituality is being aware and ever watchful / Mindful of what you say /or do / think etc ..taking care / taking Responsibility /being Aware / Mature etc … some call it building up Good Karma .. ….but not always easy to do especially if one has had a bad Day and people wind you up ,so to speak …. one can then feel anything but pleasant and the last thing on ones mind might be Good Karma .as alot of the Spiritual Life has to do with how self controlled one is .. so can be difficult to achieve when ones Emotions are all upset .. as in grief / anger/ etc …

    Maybe this is where the idea and concept of forgiveness comes in being kind to oneself and to others …. Forgiving Others and most of all Forgiving oneself [ the latter of which may be much harder in my humble opinion.
    I find it much easier to Forgive others ,than to Forgive myself ..

    Also this concept of Heaven ..as ive mentioned before ...my life has at timse been to me rather a painful one [ i know many others have had these ame experiences often too ,me not wishing to feel sorry for myself others exeriences are hard to when you look around/ the Man "Job "comes to mind for me again in the Bible a man i very much admire for the Pain and yet trust he Had in a God ... and he was rewarded for that faith at a later stage by God ..often it is not much fun and joy being alive , some of the lessons learned can be so very very difficult /painful to say the least ..... saying this though ,it does not take away ..the very fact that the Earth is a truely Beautiful and Wonderous place to be and which to live and it is an Honour to be here at times ..

    Personally i do believe there may well be Reincarnation [ Child Prodigies / Gifted Children and them remembering previous incarnations is one aspect of this very involved / intriguing subject ]…. but it may not be for everyone ..
    Again these are only my humble opinions /thoughts / concepts /feelings/ beliefs etc ….

    Personally i would not want to come back to Earth again.[.as in reincarnation ] so i guess i would choose not to take on board that theme ..im not saying either its wrong for others to believe that way … just maybe its not for me ….. yet i can understand it ..have read extensively about it… and see where it may .. be a very important/ and valid part of life …

    Well thank you for talking with me …im off now to get some much needed Breakfast as ive not eaten as yet …..or maybe i should say “Brunch “now[ thats what we in England call a late Breakfast as it is nearly Midday here now lol [ load of laughter]

    I hope this post finds you all well today and that it is a good day for you also

    Blessings and Love to you all
    Take Care Zara xx

  • By Zara, June 12, 2010 @ 3:17 am

    Hi Christine have just come back on site to say thank you to you for your kind comments on your post to me ,, thank you again take care
    Hope you have a really good day ahead ..
    Love and Best wishes Zara x

  • By hilly, June 12, 2010 @ 6:24 am

    Hi Zara….the time zones can make it look like we are posting in the middle of the night – can’t they (yes I’m insomniac but not to that point!)
    a tip for the password (I had a problem with it too at first) I use Mozilla Firefox (asks herself why anybody would use Explorer but then again….) and I told it to remember my password – so when I go to ‘log in’ it’s there. for me. If ever it goes wrong I’m in schtuck because it’s just dots there (!) and my memory and sieves sometimes have a lot in common!

    And after that wander off the highway……I’ll think I’ll walk with your thoughts for a while:

    So i think the Daily walk of Spirituality is being aware and ever watchful / Mindful of what you say /or do / think etc ..taking care / taking Responsibility /being Aware / Mature etc … some call it building up Good Karma .. ….but not always easy to do especially if one has had a bad Day and people wind you up ,so to speak …. one can then feel anything but pleasant and the last thing on ones mind might be Good Karma .as a lot of the Spiritual Life has to do with how self controlled one is .. so can be difficult to achieve when ones Emotions are all upset .. as in grief / anger/ etc …

  • By hilly, June 12, 2010 @ 6:27 am

    PS Heidi – I think I’ll watch Houdini again this evening…..

  • By hilly, June 12, 2010 @ 8:05 am

    definitely NOT my kind of movie….

    off topic but: is anyone else still reeling from the Pope’s claim that the abuse scandal is ‘a plot by Satan to damage the year of the priest’?????

  • By Rachelle, June 12, 2010 @ 8:22 am

    Hi Zara – Thanks so much for the nice greeting. :) I like your thoughts on good karma, and you’re right some days it’s now always easy to do. I’m thankful for the new day that starts each morning to me it’s a new beginning.

    Heidi and Hilly – I’ve seen Houdini and I really enjoyed it. Great cast and good to see Vivian Vance doing something other then Ethel. She was hilarious on it.*g* We need it on DVD!

    Enjoy your Saturday. Back to work I go from break! TGIS!*G*

  • By Rachelle, June 12, 2010 @ 8:24 am

    Ps the word was “not” not “now” above lol…… Sorry no edit button!

  • By Christine, June 12, 2010 @ 8:34 am

    isn’t it one of the Amerindian traditions that says that your spirit is still ‘alive’ as long as there’s someone to remember your name?

    Hi Hilly, What a lovely thought isn’t it?. We often hear others say that our loved ones are never truly gone as long as we love and remember them, but I had never heard of this; thank you for posting xx

  • By Christine, June 12, 2010 @ 8:38 am

    Hi Rach, Happy weekend my friend, have a good one!.
    And a good weekend to everyone else too.

  • By hilly, June 12, 2010 @ 11:02 am

    Ok so I’ll come clean. I mentioned it because it is a perfect example of that well-known dodge of invoking that ancient symbol of fear – Satan – as a defense.
    It’s the ‘work of the Devil’…it plays on that most basic of fear – an unseen ‘evil’
    And the tragedy is that even in the 21st century when mankind like to think that it has attained a level of civilization and sophistication (well technical prowess isn’t everything but….)someone who has the “power” to influence the thinking of millions can’t find a better way of dealing with a major criticism..
    The Pope is supposedly “infallible” (we ‘know’ this because Pope Pius 9 said so in the 19th century!) so of course if he says it is Satan’s doing those who believe he can not make a mistake accept what he says…..

    Interesting if you apply it to recent lies – sorry ‘economies with the truth’ ‘minor contradictions of statement’ coming out of the Vatican and the Papal airplane especially where the prevention of AIDS is concerned. So are we to expect Mr R to explain that AIDS is a Satanic plot too….?

    Feat as a tactic…its one of the oldest tricks in the book

  • By hilly, June 12, 2010 @ 11:02 am

    sorry…FEAR as a tactic……

  • By Terri, June 12, 2010 @ 5:38 pm

    Hi Zara, Really enjoyed reading your thoughts. I sort of hope someday I find reincarnation is a fact. I was considered one of those gifted children a long, long time ago. I had some very strong unexplained things happen. I like the idea of coming back, hoping it gets a little better or easier the next time around. Of course I’m still working on this life. Terri

  • By heidi, June 13, 2010 @ 1:40 am

    We are all looking for love in this life. Have always wondered why arranged marriages tend to work out in the most part??? In India,girls don’t see their husbands till their wedding days but the marriage seems to be okay.

    From a very young age, we were brought up on fairy tales by the Brothers Grimm or Hollywood films to believe in Happy ever after. When I was a child, I honestly believed that I would meet a handsome man and be married by the time I was 20 and have children.
    Found out the hard way, Life is not like that.
    No good for me to be a dreamer and idealistic.

    Instead of images, we should look more at personalities–perhaps my grandmother was right in saying that you should go out with someone who has the same interests or personality to find a lasting relationship.i.e somebody you like….It’s a fine line between love and hate so perhaps liking works better, I don’t know.

    Like Terri, I’m still working on this life.

  • By hilly, June 13, 2010 @ 8:54 am

    I can think of a few arranged marriages that worked very well.
    An old friend (in both senses of the word now; our mothers were school friends and the years have gone by)…she married in her late 30s and always says that her husband is the “sexiest best friend I ever had”….that seems right – to be friends is more important than that rush of hormones a lunacy called ‘love’.

    Footnote: am I the only person in the world who isn’t watching the World Cup…it’s very quiet here

  • By Frances, June 13, 2010 @ 9:24 am

    hilly,
    no you are not the only one avoiding the World Cup, roll on Monday 21st that’s when Wimbledon will keep me otherwise occupied! Strawberries and Cream anyone? lol

  • By PamT, June 13, 2010 @ 10:03 am

    Many thanks to Paul, for once again taking the time to post. As ever, I very much value the opportunity to be given an insight into his philosophy. That’s why I visit this place.

    “We all want the same thing. We all want to ‘get there.’ The journey of life is filled with so much that we bridle at the suggestion that we are already there…meaning ‘here.’

    This brought to mind a line from a book I read a while ago. I don’t have the exact quotation, but I think the gist of it was: “The door to that which you have been seeking has always stood open – you just haven’t seen it.” I know that I can often become focused on what I perceive to be an end destination and then I lose awareness of where I am now – on the door that is open – and there are sights, sounds and experiences that I don’t truly ‘see’, ‘hear’ or ‘feel’.

    PMG’s reflections on the dream state were very interesting and something I need to consider further. For sure, it’s a time when the conscious mind relinquishes control, albeit temporarily, but I wonder what part nightmares play in the scenario of a multi-dimensional universe? Aren’t they unfettered outpourings of the mind’s fear? The fear against which it has battened down the hatches during waking hours …. or which it has channelled into other behaviour.

    In the spirit of curiosity, I recently went to see a past life regression therapist. I had decided beforehand that it would be pointless if I entered into the process with a consciously sceptical mind and so resolved to ‘go with the flow’; to say whatever popped into my head and not to concern myself at the time whether it originated from memories, imagination or anything else. I found it to be an intriguing experience. I described two different ‘lives’ – not completely spontaneously, but mostly in response to questions posed by the therapist. When I subsequently listened to the recording of the session, it did seem to me that some of the material had come from my subconscious. For example, I became very emotional when describing the tail-end of one of the lives that appeared to have parallels with my experience concerning a close family member. In the other, I described having a malformed hand which was twisted at the wrist; the therapist was wearing a support bandage around the lower section of her hand. Perhaps this is my devious mind at work trying to rationalise the whole experience. I don’t know. So I’m still very much sitting on the fence when it comes to reincarnation. What I do struggle to understand is the concept that we repeatedly encounter the same group of souls in various lives, when surely there are innumerable ones with whom to connect in the ‘one-ness’. This particular aspect of reincarnation belief makes me uneasy, because it almost seems ‘custom-made’ to meet our human desire for a continued attachment to those who are/have been in our lives – a sort of wish fulfilment, if you like. Anyway, no disrespect intended to anyone who does hold that belief or who has experienced otherwise. It’s just the way I see it at present.

    Finally, in my opinion (and it is very much only my opinion), before it all kicked off on here Xtexan made a valid point. I feel that it would be a great shame, and perhaps even a little self-defeating, if this blog were a place where quieter lurkers felt reluctant to venture and comment, for whatever reason. For that matter, I think it would also be a pity if regular contributors felt inhibited from adding further comments as and when they occur to them (speaking for myself, I sometimes find my thoughts straying to a different aspect of PMG’s words ‘post-post’). So, I really don’t know what the answer is; or even if there is – or indeed should be – an answer. What I do know is that I genuinely appreciate reading a variety of different observations focused on the substance of what PMG has communicated and find my own reactions – according to my own acquired definitions of what is ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ – revealing and part of a valuable overall learning process for me personally.

    Like all of us, still very much learning.

    PamT

    PS. The World what? ;-)

  • By hilly, June 13, 2010 @ 11:29 am

    Pam that’s an interesting point about the regression therapist. I admit to being totally suspicious of them (especially as some of them have not qualifications and cause more trouble than they ‘help’…but that’s me.
    What I picked up on is the point about your ‘memory’ of having a deformation and then seeing the therapist’s bandage. To me that was pure suggestion…and cynic also says ‘how can you be sure you heard allof the tape (did she manage to pause when she put an idea onto your head?)

    The possibility that we finally come to a oneness with a group of souls makes sense to me. (As one or two people here know) but I’m not altogether sure how I would explain it. I don’t think we repeatedly meet the same ones – but at each stop in our journey through time I believe we add new members to our group…the circle that will be our oneness. We don’t always go on together…but eventually we unite/arrive and achieve that oneness that is (maybe) Nirvana.
    We also meet others in passing (so to speak) and either guide them to their ‘group’ or don’t; and sometimes we play a role in their lives that will help them to move on to their next stage. I hope I’m not making it sound like some kind of loony cosmic railway line but I can’t think of any other way to put it. This means that yes…sometimes we may play a part in someone’s death (knowingly or unknowingly/willingly or unwillingly); or we may help them to confront death or misfortune so that they can move on. And this either for their own mortality or that of someone in their entourage (family/friends; close or not so close). Or maybe just help them to accept that human beings are born, and they die; that death isn’t ‘unnatural’ (as our modern world sometimes seems to want us to think…we must be young forever…anti-ageing blah blah)

    In another discussion we started to explore the thought that some are ‘sent’ for a purpose. I don’t think I believe that (and I certainly don’t believe in some celestial puppet-master deciding which ‘soul’ goes where and when)but I do think that when we encounter someone or something and that encounter has an influence on the outcome of his/her life (or the event) then it was because we were in the right place at the right time. And sometimes we miss the moment…and so the event/life goes in a different way.
    You know that feeling (what we call in France ‘esprit d’escalier’…that ‘damn, what I should have said was…’ moment) well I think that happens in our existences. Sometimes we have an opportunity to get it right in another ’round’…sometimes we don’t. Sometimes our soul has learnt from the experience; sometimes it doesn’t..;we make the same mistake over and over until we meet the soul that helps us to get it right.

    this beats watching 22 men pat a ball around a field doesn’t it, {Ok so I’ll watch Rugby or (American) Football any time!)

  • By Christine, June 13, 2010 @ 12:56 pm

    You know its interesting how emotions come into our daily lives. A friend of mine posted a link on her Facebook of an Italian singer (my friend is Italian) curious I played it. This guy has the most amazing voice, I don’t speak a word of Italian yet this man sang it with such passion and emotion the actual words were not important.
    Has anyone ever just ‘felt’ a song in the sense of it gets you right in the heart so you aren’t just listening to it but ‘feeling it’. Seems like this guy is a ballad man, looks like I’ll be singing in Italian before long even if I don’t understand what I’m singing about lol.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By Christine, June 13, 2010 @ 1:05 pm

    Oh and I don’t think there is anything more sexy or attractive as a guy singing. :) xx

  • By Christine, June 13, 2010 @ 2:17 pm

    Hi Jimbo, I really appreciate and love good music, from Jazz to Classical, to Gladys Knight now there is a lady who can sing. ‘The way we were’ and ‘Neither one of us’ are great love songs but tend to bring a tear of two. Then there are il Divo who have such powerful songs any song that gives goosebumps is a winner huh?
    Depending on how passionate a person is for music personally; I would find it pretty impossible to live without music. Depending on ones mood more or less decides which cd you chose to listen to in my opinion.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By Christine, June 13, 2010 @ 3:28 pm

    You know what I find very interesting is just how many artists/groups in England are yet unheard of in America, and vice versa. Just like this guy I was talking about(hes on my facebook page if you would like to take a look). Going back to Paul’s topic about how we all want love, isn’t it funny how certain music/songs remind us of people and places from sometimes years ago. When I divorced my husband there was a song that I simply could no longer listen to because it had been ‘our song’ most couples have a song I think. Romantic? yep but its nice at the time. I’ve always said to Amy in my opinion you don’t just ‘hear’ a good song you ‘feel’ it. Sometimes I’ll ask her if she ‘felt’ that song and she’ll deadpan me. I don’t think she ‘gets me’ sometimes I wonder why lol.
    Christine x

  • By Rachelle, June 13, 2010 @ 5:09 pm

    Christine and Chavie – I like alot of the singers from the past Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, Desi Arnaz to name a few. I enjoy 50′s music and TV shows (I love Lucy, What’s My Line) and I’m from the wrong era.*g*

    Chavie – I haven’t heard the David Soul music you mentioned. I do agree he’s a great singer. Also, PMG can sing good too.*g* I like his song “Any Day Now” from Fiddler on The Roof.
    Yes Josh Groban’s music is a must and his ballads are amazing. He also sings the best Christmas songs. Well seeing Frank Sintara and Dean Martin sing ‘Marshmallow World’ together is pretty funny. :) Music can make us laugh, it can make us cry, it can make us think and it can make us remember.

    Happy Sunday, Rach

  • By carol4spot, June 13, 2010 @ 6:14 pm

    “I don’t propose to know anymore than anyone else. I only know what I know and what I’m learning. It doesn’t make me good or bad or right or wrong. It’s just another reality…my reality which I choose to share with any who want to partake.” PMG

    I like this.. We are all the same. My Grandpa used to say, very simply, “Nobody knows for sure.”

    “So we defend against that fear by forming judgments, alliances with others with common beliefs, (it helps if they look like us in some comforting way or other), and of course, identification with those beliefs. This is the mind’s way of rationalizing its relevance to these ’serious’ conflicts.” PMG

    If you truly believe in what/who you are then it doesn’t matter what anyone else thinks.
    Live with good intentions and operate from your heart..xocarol

  • By carol4spot, June 13, 2010 @ 7:26 pm

    Rachelle and christine… For very positive vibe music check out the moody blues.. Say it with love, Blue world.. Seriously, check them out..Don’t get me wrong, I can seriously get down and dirty with the likes of George Thorogood and ZZTop especially when running but the Moody Blues have a beautiful, loving message which goes with the theme here..xocarol

  • By carol4spot, June 13, 2010 @ 7:45 pm

    thanks chavie..know-it-alls don’t do it for me either..PMG is more humble and real…xocarol

  • By hilly, June 13, 2010 @ 11:01 pm

    music? me? oh boy. I haven’t heard (of) most of the ‘newer’ names above. I admit that I hit ‘I know what I like and I like what I know’ years ago! My radio is permanently tuned to France Musiques (Radio3 type thing for the Brits to get an idea) that plays everything from medieval music to modern jazz. About the only time I switch over to a CD if I have the radio on is if the play Wagner (eeeyuk! although I love opera). most of my CDs are replacements of vinyls and tapes…Jazz, lots of jazz from early 20s stuff to new experimental stuff; classical music from madrigals to John Cage and the music I loved in the 60s 70s and early 80s – West Coast rock -artists I buy new stuff from- Joni; the Eagles, Crosby Stills & co; and I’m restocking my Beatles collection. Yes Carol – The Moody Blues stuff was wonderful….and Procul Harum too….A whiter Shade of Pale and Homburg are still up there on my playlists.

    I tried (and failed) to put up a link here once so I’ll just ask you to Google the music of Aaron Meyer (my cousin’s son)…some of his stuff is haunting and excellent background music for meditation. Ultimately I’d say that if the musician is truly a musician I’ll listen and decide if I want to hear more.

    Yes, someone said how odd it is that so many artists aren’t known in the UK & US – same goes for many many writers.(too many) because the English-speaking world has produced such a plethora of artist and writers that those who produce their art in any other language are less likely to be translated/heard. It is interesting to compare how many ‘English’ writers are translated into other languages with how many others are translated into English.

    on a personal note….off for a job interview now – cross whatever you can for me because I want to make this one happen.

  • By carol4spot, June 14, 2010 @ 6:59 am

    Chavie..not offended.. they (moody blues) are a generation before me too but I was introduced to them a few years back and I think they are beautiful people..very talented..I like the music they did later more i guess. Check out the song ‘I know you’re out there somewhere’..But mostly I like real rocking music when I run :) I will look into all the suggestions above later, I need to go to work!!xocarol

  • By Christine, June 14, 2010 @ 7:43 am

    Hi Rach, You have good taste in music my friend. Can you remember Andy Williams? boy we are going back a bit, anyway he does a great version of ‘Solitaire’.

    Hi Chavie, Hey how you doing? hope that cough is under control there. Zonked on cough medicine huh? lol. Sorry I forgot to answer you on the David Soul question yesterday, I had his older Lp’s in the day they were vinyl. To be honest I didn’t realize he was still recording until recently. Hope you are well soon xx

    Hi Carol4spot, I will check out the ‘moody blues’ thanks for the tip.

    Hi Hilly, Hope you had a good interview, :)

  • By Rachelle, June 14, 2010 @ 8:03 am

    Hi Christine – Thanks my friend! I do remember Andy Williams and I really his Christmas music.*G* I also enjoy Bing Crosby and yes we’re going back quite a bit. I’m only 40 this year but I really enjoy big band music.*g* I also like some country music such as Trace Adkins (‘Muddy Water’ is a lovely song), Tim McGraw, Alan Jackson and also some classical music.*G* The Shawshank Redemption soundtrack album has amazing classical music on it! I enjoy a wide variety!

    Chavie – I hope you feel better soon! Thanks for the David Soul links. As I said he is a very good singer who sings his music very heartfelt and no need to apologize for appreciating his music.

    Carol – I do like the Moody Blues and thanks for the suggestion.

    Hilly – I also hope your interview went well.

    Happy Monday, Rach :)

  • By hilly, June 14, 2010 @ 8:54 am

    see your Andy Williams and raise you Perry Como.

    It seemed to go OK but he has to see other candidates too and he’ll decide next week?.

    I want this job enough to hope that this time I am capable of making it happen by believing in myself enough to get it.
    And TBH I need this job – not just because I can’t go on living on the lousy unemployment I get but because if I’m not working I’m likely to go nuts. He asked me ‘do you need to work’ (which is the nearest he can get legally to asking a woman if she is a sole-earner!) and I said “yes, not just financially but for my morale!” I’m bored not working…and when I’m bored my mind goes on strike.
    3 writing projects have hit the wall.

    but talking of Perry Como has given me an idea for a video…..

  • By Christine, June 14, 2010 @ 9:27 am

    You know its interesting just how ‘fear’ slips into our daily lives without even noticing it sometimes. I guess there are different degrees of fear, from that slight uneasiness we feel at times right through to pure terror. Are we ever as self assured and confident as people would like us to believe? Aren’t we all just as insecure as each other on some things? only difference being some are better at holding up a front than others. Funny how when making a decision I will usually ask a friends opinion, if its an important one its as if I don’t trust myself to make it and either want a friend to say yes, or no you are so wrong/right on this. Its almost as if we lead our lives running around in circles asking one another is this ok?
    Who sets the rules to our lives?. When in reality we ought to be able to trust our own judgement on ourselves. Problem being, what if we have it wrong? what if we don’t get that safety net in place just incase. I think sometimes its the fear of doing a thing wrong than prevents us trying at all. The what if’s and over thinking a situation can drive you nuts. Maybe we are more alike than we would like to admit at times. Problem is you get four friends in a room and two think you are right the other two say no, you are wrong, so you end up asking yourself what you are actually thinking and we end up back to square one. Maybe we need to trust our own judgements of ourselves, we are inside our own heads. Does anyone really know or understand us as we do?
    Just a thought ……. back on topic!!! :) xx

  • By hilly, June 14, 2010 @ 11:26 am

    Funny how when making a decision I will usually ask a friends opinion, if its an important one its as if I don’t trust myself to make it and either want a friend to say yes, or no you are so wrong/right on this.

    exactly…and then if at a later point in our lives we have another decision to make – can we feel confident in asking the same people – what if one of them gave the ‘wrong’ advice the last time and you followed it?

    Its almost as if we lead our lives running around in circles asking one another is this ok?

    In a sense we do do that all the time. A child seeks parental approval (even in rebellion) a worker seeks to ‘please’ the boss – an actor hopes to please the audience. Our lives are driven by this constant need to feel reassurance that we have ‘done the right thing’

    Like a kitten or a puppy chasing its tail we come running round again and again trying to ‘get it right’. If we learn by experience we can break out of the (vicious) circle – but we may just end up in another spiral…

    Who sets the rules to our lives?.

    I think it takes a certain bravery – nay bravado! – to say ‘Only I, and no-one else, set my rules …’
    It marks us a rebels; as ‘difficult’ or even aggressive. And if we are going to live in our society we have to accept certain parameters…back to those moral codes that may or may not be ‘commandments’…the common sense of ‘killing the guy who jumped the red light and nearly hit my car is wrong’ (even if I mutter ‘serves you right if you end up in a ditch’ under my breath!) etc.
    And yet …the ‘heroes’ are often those who refused to comply or to submit to the rules without questioning them. Where would the world be if no-one had stood up to dictators?

    … in reality we ought to be able to trust our own judgement on ourselves. Problem being, what if we have it wrong? what if we don’t get that safety net in place just in case. I think sometimes its the fear of doing a thing wrong than prevents us trying at all.

    And more disastrously….we take the road that has more tracks on it – to be on the safe side…and get into trouble anyway!
    Or we are too hard on ourselves; having set out ‘standard’ we won’t accept it if we don’t live up to it. Perfectionism is a good thing when it drives us on – but suicidal when it makes us strive for what is not possible.

    Does anyone really know or understand us as we do?

    Do we?

  • By Sammy, June 14, 2010 @ 11:36 am

    Looks like many of us are pondering on the same thoughts at the moment- I was questioning my own decisions and why I made them, how ‘others’ influenced them and what I should do next. I guess none of us will ever know why exactly we do what we do- At least that is my conclusion. I have been able to make my own decisions, or at least that is what I believed, and now I see that I was wrong. Decisions have always been influenced by someone else but I tend to look away from that fact, and have been telling myself that I am making my own decisions – Yeah right! I do make my own decisions but the decisions are not mine!

    This is one of those days that nothing seems to go the way you want.

  • By Christine, June 14, 2010 @ 11:56 am

    Hi Hilly, Thank you for ‘sorting my head out’ so to speak on a few things. You are right we do try to gain that all important approval not in an arrogant kind of way simply just to feel like we have done something right. People can tell a person a thousand times ‘listen to yourself, have faith in yourself’ but if you don’t feel in your heart or in your thoughts you are ‘good enough’ the well meaning compliment can lift someone for a few hours/days but as soon as something starts to worry that person; as soon as that ‘fear’ hits the person is back to questioning themselves. If a friend asks me for advice I usually try and see what to ‘them’ feels right. Advice is great it can really help out, only when it comes to taking our own advice we question. We start to fire questions at ourselves and our loyal friends ‘did I do this wrong?’ ‘maybe I could and should have been a better person’ etc etc. I have never fully understood those that say they don’t have any regrets. Surely in order to learn and grow as people we have to make mistakes and in turn must look back sometimes and think how bad a job we made of something? Just another thought, twice in one day actually ON topic! (I know I can’t believe it either lol)
    With love,
    Christine.

  • By Christine, June 14, 2010 @ 12:01 pm

    Hi Sammy, Hey girl you are a great person with a beautiful way with people (I know this is a fact I have an inbox of your uplifting e-mails). Whatever day you have had there is a new day tomorrow. Take good care of yourself Sammy. Pm me if you need to talk.
    Love,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, June 15, 2010 @ 5:35 am

    Hi Paul and Pam, I just heard there have been earthquakes over there last night, is everyone ok?. Boy, and we British complain when it rains!!.
    Christine xx

  • By Rachelle, June 15, 2010 @ 5:48 am

    Hi Christine –
    Yes I agree and I hope that Paul, Pam and everyone over there is fine…..We were watching the ball game last night with San Diego (Southern California team) vs Toronto Blue Jays and everything was shaking. The sports commentator was saying that it was strong. They actually kept playing once the biggest shakes were done. In B.C. we are on the fault line but we don’t have them very often that we can feel. We also get the rain – A little too much of that!*g*

    Sammy – Today is a new day and thankfully yesterday is history.*g* I hope your day is better today! Hugs!

    Rach :)

  • By Sammy, June 15, 2010 @ 8:26 am

    Hye Girls.. yes- today is a new day- :-)
    Thanks Christine and Rach.. you know all about Monday blues (or purples or reds or greens or yellows for that matter!)

  • By OnceNefarious, June 15, 2010 @ 9:55 am

    One of you posted this in my LiveJournal inbox.

    — amboysmoll wrote:
    > I sit silently and contemplate the ideas that Mr Glaser offers. I enjoy seeing intelligent debate of his ideas. But I never comment there.
    >
    > “Intelligent”, that’s the word I want you to hold on to.
    > You see, you and your friends seem to think that you are being very clever, you have infiltrated this blog for your own reasons and then insulted the regular contributors.
    >
    > You don’t need to comment there. You obviously are not interested in the philosophy behind the ideas. In fact I wonder if you have ever even thought about philosophy. Don’t mind me – I just have a PhD in it.
    >
    > Why do you need to continue to attack?
    > Why can’t you just respect your friend’s attempt to explain why she told you about the blog; accept that you have been insulting and inappropriate, and leave the others alone?
    >
    > Sincerely
    >
    > Elvira P Madrigal
    > PhD

    You people, in your misguided notions that you are somehow authorized to judge, control, and censure those who log on here. I signed off and left this site, per your demands. The problem seems to me that in continuing to harass and harangue someone wha has, essentially, given your way, there must be some assumption or sense of guilt on your part.

    Leave me alone.

    What right have you to harass me simply because you do not like what I have said? You assumed I am someone I am not, made false assumptions and allegations, then attempted to continue your campaign of bullying AFTER I LEFT THE SITE AS YOU DEMANDED.

    I have nothing to prove. I am sorry you feel you do; however, you have made the gross miscalculation that everyone with whom you do not agree must somehow be lumped into one category based on a statement made by one person.

    Enough already.

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, June 15, 2010 @ 10:36 am

    QUERIDO PAUL.
    BUENOS DÍAS A TODOS ,PRIMERAMENTE SOY ARGENTINA ASÍ QUE HABLO ARGENTINO NO EL ESPAÑOL PURO. ASÍ QUE SI TRADUCEN ,MUCHAS VECES SALE OTRAS PALABRAS .PERDÓN POR ESTO ES MI IDIOMA ,LEO EN EL BLOG QUE ES DEL SEÑOR PAUL M GLASER DONDE EL SE TOMA EL TRABAJO DE PONER SUS REFLEXIONES .PERO MUCHOS REALIZAN UNA DISCUSION, SI DISCUSION Y TENDRÍA QUE SER UN INTERCAMBIO DE OPINIONES ( ,REFLEXIONAR SOBRE LO QUE ESCRIBE PAUL ).ES UNA FALTA DE RESPETO HACIA EL SEÑOR PAUL M GLASER .LEO Y LEO Y MUCHAS VECES SE VAN DEL TEMA ,NUNCA NOS VAMOS A PONER DE ACUERDO, TODOS SOMOS SERES INDIVIDUALES QUE TENEMOS DISTINTOS SENTIMIENTOS Y OPINIONES ,YO DIGO, SI YO NO ESTOY DE ACUERDO CON ALGUIEN QUE ESCRIBE AQUÍ ,NO LO VOY A ENFRENTAR, SACARE DE ESE ESCRITO LO MEJOR UNA ENSEÑANZA .YO NO PUEDO DECIR QUE ES BLANCO Y QUE TODOS DIGAN ¡¡SIII ¡¡ ES BLANCO- PERO ESA ES MI OPINIÓN , QUEREMOS CAMBIAR O TRASCENDER TENER BUENOS SENTIMIENTOS Y NO APRENDIMOS A RESPETAR AL PRÓJIMO ,COMO PODEMOS HABLAR DE AMOR Y ATACO AL QUE ESCRIBIÓ ANTERIORMENTE ,CREO QUE TENEMOS QUE DEDICARNOS A RESPONDER Y VOLCAR NUESTRO CORAZÓN CON NUESTRAS REFLEXIONES SIN ATACAR AL OTRO- ES UN PENSAMIENTO O UN SENTIMIENTO- ,LEO ABSOLUTAMENTE TODO ( YO ME INCLUYO,EN LO QUE VOY A ESCRIBIR, CUANDO APRENDEREMOS A RESPETAR Y ACEPTAR A OTROS QUE NO PIENSAN O NO TIENEN LOS MISMOS SENTIMIENTOS QUE LOS QUE TENEMOS CADA UNO ,ESTAMOS AQUÍ .¿PORQUE ?POR SABER MAS DEL SEÑOR GLASER DE SUS REFLEXIONES ,PERDÓN SI ALGUIEN SE OFENDE, PERDÓN SEÑOR GLASER SI ESTOY HACIENDO MAL PERO ES LO QUE TENGO EN MI CORAZÓN ,MUCHAS GRACIAS, DIOS LOS BENDIGA ,SIGAMOS EL AMOR QUE TODO LO PUEDE ,TENGO MIS CREENCIAS AMO A JESUCRISTO PERO RESPETO A LAS PERSONAS QUE TIENEN OTRAS CREENCIAS ES SU DECISIÓN SUS SENTIMIENTOS .NO ES PARA CREAR UNA POLÉMICA POR ESTO ,SI ACEPTAR A OTRO SER HUMANO COMO ES ,ESTOY AQUÍ Y SE DE MIS SENTIMIENTOS,HAY DÍAS Y DÍAS, EN CADA MOMENTO DE NUESTRAS VIDAS REACCIONAMOS DE DISTINTAS MANERAS, TRATEMOS DE REACCIONAR BIEN SIN HERIR AL OTRO ,EN UNA PAGINA DE FACEBOOK ME DIJERON ¡¡¡ A. VOS SOS ARGENTINA ¡¡ PERO MAL LO DIJO ,SI SOY ARGENTINA Y CON MUCHO ORGULLO COMO TODOS ESTAMOS ORGULLOSOS DE NUESTRA NACIONALIDAD ,ASÍ QUE PERDÓN POR VOLCAR MIS SENTIMIENTOS QUE TENGAN UN BELLO DÍA -HILDA -NUEVAMENTE QUE DIOS LOS BENDIGA GRANDEMENTE
    GRACIAS SEÑOR GLASER POR SUS REFLEXIONES

  • By hilly, June 15, 2010 @ 10:42 am

    although my initial reaction is to simply ignore ‘nefarious’ I can only say…take your own advice and go and play with your friends making trouble somewhere else.

  • By hilly, June 15, 2010 @ 10:45 am

    It’s been chucking it down all day here…an ‘orange alert’ for storms. I’m Ok up on my hill (I hope!) but further along the coast near Cannes the floods have killed 2 and created havoc.

    Oh and we are in an earthquake zone here in Provence but the last bad one was in the early 2Oth century….but the way nature is revolting against our abuses I won’t tempt providence by saying any more!

  • By Janise Anthony, June 15, 2010 @ 11:36 am

    Paul,

    Thank you for this new Blog in regards to the back and forth disharmony of the posters. I have sensed this coming since I found your blog just a few months ago. For this reason in your last blog “HOME” I had decided to not participate with other posters and only left one comment intended solely for you. I came to this blog initially with enthusiasm and thought I found a group to relate to but what I found was different. The back and forth banter (not from me but from other posters)and topic irrelivant posts tainted my experience here. Personal emails from the site administrator telling what or whom I could and could not write was also a turn off. I now chose to take myself out of the community and the banter and just enjoy your writings and contemplate and meditate on them in my own private thoughts or share them with my friends in healthy discussion. I won’t forget about you as I will always remember to leave you a quick post of gratitude.

    Thank you Paul…:)
    Peace, hugs & love,
    Janise

  • By hilly, June 15, 2010 @ 11:40 am

    I was reading xtexan and he has a point.
    ahem…that he is a she… ;)
    aren’t you?

  • By hilly, June 15, 2010 @ 12:01 pm

    I’ll miss your contributions Janice.

    chavie: your remarks about people having their own truth is so true (especially your referral to Manson). IMO someone can sincerely believe that what they say and ‘preach’ is good but in reality they are ‘evil’

    Here’s a case to think about

    The Pope represents a belief system – a religion that many millions accept as ‘the truth’
    The Pope also says that condoms are not effective in preventing the transmission of HIV. His spokesperson denied that he said it…he said that he did say it…and the microphones at the press conference recorded him saying it…Truth?#1

    I would guess that all if not the majority of the genuine contributors to these discussion (as opposed to those who came here to make trouble) agree that condoms are an important ‘weapon’ int he fight against AIDS.

    Some of you are Catholics.

    So you if you agree that condoms are important on the fight against AIDS you accept one of the Pope’s truths but not another.

    See what I mean about filtering….I got into a row elsewhere because I qualify the Pope’s attitude to condoms as a lie and evil.
    But that’s my version of the truth.

    “the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help me God” – oh really?

  • By Christine, June 15, 2010 @ 12:22 pm

    Hi Chavie, I enjoyed the music comments, although I do always feel guilty for going off topic!. Maybe Pam would let us know if we were going on too long?.
    Sorry to hear that you no longer have a mom around too. Hey, maybe they will meet up and discuss us being friends huh?. Nice thought. I dunno Chavie, sometimes its so hard trying to work this life out. Maybe its not meant to be ‘worked out’ just lived through? is that Paul’s point here? should we just live in the moment? you know not look back/forwards just live for now? having said that how tough is it to do? don’t we all look back? nice if you can have great memories but what about the bad ones? does life confuse others as it does me?.
    Best wishes,
    Christine xx

  • By stonealbatross, June 15, 2010 @ 12:45 pm

    OK I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, but I’m an information researcher and sometimes I just need to have accurate facts to cope.

    I tried to resist posting this, but it’s been driving me nuts since I read it. (I should get help shouldn’t I?)

    Paul, in the latest blog you say:

    “I was having an interesting conversation with a friend and we were trying to identify that huge part of the brain that we don’t use. ”

    Please would you define what context you are using this idea. What comes into my head is the ‘we only use 10% of our brain’ myth, which in my linear thinking negates what follows, which is a pity because “a portal into this multi-dimensional universe in which we exist..etc. ” is a concept I am quite comfortable with.

    If it is the 10% of the Brain, then that’s fine I’ll go off and rationalise my issues, if I’ve missed something could someone lend me a road map and SatNav because I ain’t getting there on my own. :)

    And as a good little researcher – some evidence:
    For a quick accessable over view of the subject:
    Neuroscience For Kids – 10% of the Brain Myth: http://faculty.washington.edu/chudler/tenper.html
    For a general Internet search enter the terms:
    10% brain

  • By kroselynn, June 15, 2010 @ 1:39 pm

    There was a lot more to this post, but I only posted a small portion of it because it goes on for four pages (MS Word). I have so many questions and thoughts! See what you do Paul!?
    I address Paul for the most part in this post, but I’m not opposed to hearing what suggestions any of you have regarding the questions I asked him. My mind is open; Wide open.
    Paul likes to let the conversation answer the questions we put to him, and that’s ok. It’s a process and he knows that, and he lets the process continue. I agree with that, for whatever it’s worth. But please do not tell me I should not address him directly, that is uncalled for and un-necessary since it’s his choice who he answers and who he doesn’t. It’s everyone’s privilege to be able to post on his blog, and his decision to LET people post on his blog. He lets EVERYON post here. He doesn’t have to. He could at any point stop allowing comments if he wanted to. It should be at each person’s own discretion whether to address him directly or not. Don’t make it your business to make a decision for him that is not yours to make.
    Hilda, I always enjoy reading your posts even if the translator doesn’t do such a great job, I can still get the jist (I try to use my limited knowledge of Spanish to help, but…) and I appreciate your efforts. You’re a good person, you can be proud of that. I see that you share a lot of the same views I have. Too bad there is a language barrier here; I can imagine the conversations we could have!

    Paul, I’ve been reading and re-reading the thoughts you’ve decided to share with us, and even though I don’t understand it all yet, I’m trying. I know there is a book club link here, and I have looked at it, but I wonder if there is a book or publication you can recommend, if it exists. Or maybe Pam can post the information for you, a book that will discuss what it is you’re trying to teach here. I’m still not clear if this is all your thoughts and philosophy or if you have learned this from someone or an organization or religion.

    I sincerely want more. I am starting to ache for it. If there is a publication of some kind that I can go purchase and read that will give me more information about this way of being, thinking, living, and loving, I’d go get it in a heartbeat. I have found a wonderful book on Judaism (I confess even though I am a casual student of religion-I really don’t know a lot about Judaism yet) called “Judaism” by Norman Solomon. He is a Theology lecturer at the University of Oxford and a Fellow in Modern Jewish Thought at the Oxford Centre for Hebrew and Jewish studies. I’m enjoying that book and learning a lot from it, although it can be a little…..how can I say it……one-sided(?) in places. But that’s ok, I take the information for what it is and continue to read and learn.

    Does Chrystallia and The Source of Light touch on this ‘philosophy’ (if it is, in fact, a philosophy, or is it a Religion) of yours?) Is it going to give us a little bit of insight on what you’re trying to share with us here on this blog? I so can’t wait to get my hands on it!

    I have wrote and re-wrote a response to your last two blog entries but since I’m still grasping and wanting more, reading and not understanding (or rather I think I’m not understanding, although there are times when I have reacted to situations that are ‘uncharacteristic’ of me, but in a good way, so that makes me think I understand more than I ‘think’ I do) I’m hesitant to post anything, not because I fear being ‘attacked’ by expressing my views, thoughts and questions it’s their problem if they attack me, I won’t let ‘them’ make it MY problem, but because there is so very much I’ve written, it would be too long to post here, I think.

    Besides, except for you mentioning that there were a few new readers to your blog after I sent you Birthday Wishes a few months ago, my first comment after that to one of your blogs was ignored by everyone else. That’s not a complaint, nor is it an accusation, it’s just a fact. I’m not bitter, nor do I feel ‘left out’ I’m just trying to explain that that I don’t fear attack from anyone, nor do I expect it, nor would I care if someone did respond in anger or defense, since I won’t let it invade my peace anyway, I will respect their view, opinions and whatever ‘feeling’ they feel and express, if they even have one. I will acknowledge it (their response) as valid according to them, and move on to the next comment. I have, so far, not received a response from anyone but you, albeit in passing, when you acknowledged the new readers around the time of your birthday, of which I was one of.

    As I think about, and re-read what I write in response to what you have shared, and re-read what you have so generously given us from your own thoughts, I change, delete, and ask different questions and type out what I’m thinking, feeling and experiencing and the piece goes on for pages and pages and pages. And I find myself still hungry for more information, information that either doesn’t exist or that you just haven’t shared with us yet. Maybe some things I just have to realize myself at some point as part of the whole process.

    I wish I could sit across a table from you with a nice big pot of coffee and just ask you questions, letting the questions form in my brain from the answers you give me, as I have done so many other times with several people of different faiths and beliefs and philosophies in the past from Christens, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Seventh Day Adventists, Catholics to Atheists, Gnostics…..But, I think that is impossible to be able to sit down with you and just talk, (I feel a little jealous of those who are able to do that though, and sincerely hope that none of those important people in your life take that privilege for granted! I sure wouldn’t!) So I’m left to this impersonal route, and maybe I’ll satisfy this hunger I’m feeling right now this way.

    Maybe you can give me a suggestion of a person to look for in my own community, a Rabbi, perhaps? Traditional, Progressive, Modern (is that one? I don’t know)….? I don’t even know the difference between them yet. Maybe you could give me a few key words to Google that I might find more information.

    I feel like I’m begging, and maybe I am. But I just really have found something here that I seem to be really interested in. I want to learn more.

    You said in a previous Shared Thought “…and believe me, I know what I believe.”
    I would love to be able to say that myself someday. That one line, those words written by you, has occupied my brain since the first time I read them. Sometimes I can actually hear your voice in my head saying it. Is that strange? Maybe. Maybe I’m a bit jealous (I don’t know if the two times I used this word is in the correct way, I don’t know if it is jealousy or not, really, but it’s as close as I can get to what I’m feeling, but you understand that, don’t you?) of the fact that you already know something that I want to know so badly. I know it won’t be the exact thing you have, it will be mine as it develops, but I feel like you hold the key to unlock the knowledge I’m searching for.

  • By Janise Anthony, June 15, 2010 @ 1:47 pm

    Pam
    only to clarify for you and other posters here and Paul so they understand… It was not any post you had made towards me that turned me off, but the private emails you sent to my personal email account. I have felt controlled by you since day one on Shared Thoughts when I thought we had the freedom to express ourselves here, yet you deleted 2 of my posts because for some unknown reason you did not like them even when their content was insightful, helpful and respectful.. You sent emails about not directly speaking to Paul and I was told by you other posters don’t like it when someone addresses Paul with a private comment… and lastly at least 7 times you deleted my website information in my account so it wouldn’t show up linked to my name on my posts anymore. I found all these things odd and controlling unlike any other blog I have visited. And this is your right to run this blog any way you want but it is not for me… I come now only for Paul’s wisdom and stimulation… Your appologies are not necessary as I always choose and take responsibility for my experiences.

    Be well,
    Janise

  • By carol4spot, June 15, 2010 @ 2:09 pm

    From the book ‘Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff’,
    by Richard Carlson
    Search For the Grain of Truth in Others Opinions

    Almost everyone feels that their own opinions are good ones, otherwise they wouldn’t be sharing them with you. One of the destructive things that many of us do, however, is compare someone else’s opinion to our own. And, when it doesn’t fall in line with our belief, we either dismiss it or find fault with it. We feel smug, the other person feels diminished, and we learn nothing.
    Almost every opinion has some merit, especially if we are looking for merit, rather than looking for errors. The next time someone offers you an opinion, rather than judge or criticize it, see if you can find a grain of truth in what the person is saying.
    If you think about it, when you judge someone else or their opinion, it really doesn’t say ‘anything’ about the other person, but it says quite a bit about your need to be judgmental.

    This book seems so simple but it really hits on alot of things here..Hi everyone..xocarol

  • By carol4spot, June 15, 2010 @ 3:05 pm

    Pam, you seem frazzled. Take a deep breath. As long as you know in your heart where you are coming from that’s all that matters…dig deep..xocarol

  • By Christine, June 15, 2010 @ 3:06 pm

    Just to say, I love the new photo on your website Paul. :) xx

  • By Christine, June 15, 2010 @ 3:16 pm

    Hi Pam, Hey you do a great job there Pam. You are so appreciated!!. Go grab a cuppa, this blog seems so stressful right now huh? This is usually the best place to come to feel positive, and Paul and Pam bring people together, can’t we just get back to the way this was?.
    Best wishes,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, June 15, 2010 @ 3:31 pm

    Oh I just had another thought not a nice one though……. if all this bantering continues what if Paul decides not to have a blog? That would be a huge loss for those who love to read his thoughts… lets not turn this blog into a cat fighting place. Speaking from my OWN personal opinion this blog means the world to me and I’m sure to other’s, don’t let it be a case of a few spoiling it for the rest. Pam’s job seems stressful, this isn’t fair on her either. Just a personal opinion.
    Best wishes,
    Christine xx

  • By Saskia, June 15, 2010 @ 4:10 pm

    Good point Christine :)

    we don’t want to turn this into a hate page when its all about the love!

  • By Rachelle, June 15, 2010 @ 4:56 pm

    Hi Pam – You do a wonderful job and thank you for your hard work! I know that some moments can feel discouraging but please know your kindness and encouragement to others is appreciated.
    Rach
    Ps That malt shop you mentioned before does sound like a nice treat for yourself and it’s ok to treat ourselves. :)

  • By Terri, June 15, 2010 @ 4:59 pm

    Hi Christine, I’ve been having the same thoughts about losing this blog, as I read some of the posts. I feel the same way about this blog. It’s very special to me. I seem to always relate to your posts, your personal experience and feelings. Bless you Pam. I know what it’s like to try and help and keep peace and then be told when something isn’t right in someones life that it’s your fault. I’m VERY familiar with that. Terri

  • By Janise Anthony, June 15, 2010 @ 5:59 pm

    To Pam and Paul,
    I have never bantered on this blog and never intend to and what I write now is the truth/fact as I do not like being misrepresented. All I have to say in response to your denials Pam, is that I still have your emails to prove you telling me you are removing my posts on your comment saying ” I am sick to death of this” and another telling me not to address Paul personally when I said hello to him from Peg Yorkin and to write him elsewhere. You know this to be true… I also have built websites and the information disappearing on my profile homepage can only happen when manually removed. At least 7 times I had to manually reenter it before every post. And this only began to happen after I would not take you on as a client or Facebook friend. Your email tone changed dramatically for the worse after my rejections. It was not a personal rejection of you but I was swamped traveling and working the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs with my clients up until just a few days ago. I also wrote you that my FB is for close friends and family. Once you knew this the website info coincidentally stopped disappearing…

    I came back here again today to speak the truth. You are free to denie it rather than take responsiblity for it Pam. But this is what I know to be true with supporting facts/emails which cannot be disputed.

    Just wanted to clear the air.
    Peace,
    janise

  • By Janise Anthony, June 15, 2010 @ 6:17 pm

    Not sure how one can misinterpret “I am deleting your posts” and “please don’t address Paul personally, email him instead”… Pam you do know what I am talking about… I am posting here because I think Paul should know how you email people off the blog or at least me. I found some of it a turn off and inappropriate and unprofessional coming from a blog adminstrator. Your last post to me proves my point…

    “People are like oranges, when they are under pressure what is going on inside comes out”

  • By kroselynn, June 15, 2010 @ 7:44 pm

    Uh oh! I think I put my foot in my mouth.
    Pam, my comments, as I made them, were not directed at you. It seems I have vastly misunderstood what had happened.
    It’s my fault I didn’t understand and I take responsibility for it, I confess that I have ‘glossed over’ all the negative posts, and I did not know it was one person accusing you of telling her not to address Paul directly.
    I misunderstood it to be that there was a ‘group’ of ‘regulars’ who were telling newcomers that.
    If you understood my comments to be directed at you, please know that they were not, and I am humbly offering my sincere apologies if my comments have caused you any stress, it was not intended and it is a prime example of foot-in-mouth disease. I know better than that, I do. I know better than that because I run two forums/message boards and have to deal with this sort of thing all the time (although, for the most part all my members are kind, as they are here) I know how difficult it can be to just log in some days because you’re expecting the worst. But someone always reminds me that all my hard work is appreciated by the MAJORITY of them. Please do not think ill of me, as it was truly a pure mistake on my part. I really do appreciate your hard work here.

    Chavie, thank you for acknowledging my presence here, much appreciated my friend, you are the second one (first was Paul himself as I described in my last post above) who has. Hilda has mentioned seeing me here in a message to me on FB, though. I saw that you have registered on my David Soul site; I thank you for that as well. I look forward to seeing you there.

    Now, since we’ve had a storm, I lost power for a while, so I decided to go to a store where the air conditioning worked, and ended up at TJ Max, and while I was looking around, I found a beautiful book on Jewish cooking and recipes! I’m hoping to learn a little bit (or a lot!) more about Judaism in the pages of this recipe book, at least about the why’s and traditions behind some of the kinds of foods they eat, hu? I’m still hoping that Paul, or Paul through Pam will give me a suggestion on publications or websites to visit.

    Maybe it would help me to know if his teachings, thoughts, etc. come from his religion or not, and if so what denomination is he? There are denominations in Judaism, aren’t there? Not that knowing what denomination he is should matter, I mean it’s not vital to know that particular bit of information to learn from a person, but that’s the way my brain works it’s trying to fill in the blanks to the puzzle, but I refuse to let my mind just ‘make something up’ and ask me to accept it as truth based on faith. I’m not sure if that is good enough for me anymore. I’d rather know the facts and the truth about it. And I can’t just expect someone to tell me what I want to know if I don’t ask the questions. Of course telling me it’s none of my business is perfectly acceptable as well.

  • By heidi, June 16, 2010 @ 1:35 am

    Hello everybody !!
    Parts of the brain. Somebody just put a leaflet through the door. Concepts are new to me.
    The picture showed parental love at the back of the head, truth of love at the top of the head and the word “imitation” at the side of the eyes. What do they mean by imitation?

    On a lighter note, I was miles away the other day,thinking about ideas from this blog–guess what ?I didn’t put water in the kettle and nearly burnt the element out of the kettle trying to make a drink!!! Don’t laugh!
    Hi Christine–you like your cups of tea. Years ago, we went on holiday to Blackpool Well, my best friend had about 6 cups of tea every morning, we teased her about it and when she got married,we gave her a big kettle as a wedding present!

    A lot of you have pets, have you ever seen them sleep walk when they are fast asleep or is it just us human beings that do that?
    My friend’s husband told me that their little dog barks when it is asleep. I laughed.

    Enjoy your week everyone!

  • By hilly, June 16, 2010 @ 2:36 am

    Kroselynn..I could give you a whole lot of info here but that would take up a lot of space; there is a whole lot of information on the web…please don’t rely on Wikipedia! I tried to give you a link but the settings on this blog don’t always let them through (and I don’t think it has anything to do with the webmaster).

    I’ll put them on the Fan Forum page if you are interested

  • By hilly, June 16, 2010 @ 5:37 am

    :D bouncing up and down here and have to share it with those of you who have been crossing things – you can uncross them I got the job!

  • By Rachelle, June 16, 2010 @ 5:52 am

    Congrats Hilly! That is awesome news!! :)

  • By Nee, June 16, 2010 @ 6:40 am

    Congrats Hilly! I’m glad you didn’t have to wait as long as you thought you would to hear from him. Will you please post the link you offered kroselynn on the fan forum for those of us who are interested? Thanks!

  • By hilly, June 16, 2010 @ 7:14 am

    thanks…hang on while I come back down from cloud 9 then I’ll post a couple of useful links over there

  • By Christine, June 16, 2010 @ 7:16 am

    Hi Heidi, Yes, I love tea. Probably have a caffeine addiction if the truth was known lol. Seriously, I drink tea like someone has a cigarette. Good thing about it is I don’t need to stand outside to have a cuppa!!. A well meaning friend bought me some herbal tea….. not my cup of tea (if you’ll excuse the pun lol).

    Hi Hilly, Congratulations my friend! Hope you enjoy your new job.

    Hi Terri, I also think we sometimes think alike. As for the thought of Paul not having a blog?. It would be such a miss, having said that I would become tired of logging on to find constant bickering. I just hope it doesn’t happen. I honestly feel Paul helps more people through his blog than the few who try to disrupt it. Finger’s crossed huh?.
    I think my tea intake will shoot up terribly if this blog wasn’t in place!. :)
    Love
    Christine xx

  • By Sammy, June 16, 2010 @ 7:20 am

    Woohoo.. Congratulations Hilly! Awesome! Awwwwwesome! :-)
    Knew you would do it girl!

  • By Christine, June 16, 2010 @ 8:14 am

    Hi Chavie, Good point my friend. Sometimes the problem can also be that a word used in one country can have a different meaning in another. For instance, I am from the North East of England we are sometimes classed as ‘Geordies’ we have slang terms for things, as I guess every where does, but a word in America can mean something totally different in England and vice versa. That is the only thing I sometimes find troublesome with the internet; the fact that we know what we mean when we write something but it can be totally picked up the wrong way. There is probably a more educated word to explain this but hey this is me you know lol. So ‘bickering’ in the North East is a word used for arguing. Oh I’ve lost my line of thought, anyway hope you are well my friend! xx

  • By hilly, June 16, 2010 @ 11:27 am

    that’s true Christine (and we’ve had plenty of explanations of how one word means 2 things depending which side of the Atlantic you are.)
    Although plenty of people attribute this to Oscar Wilde it was George Bernard Shaw who said:
    “England and America are two countries separated by a common language.”
    Brits wear braces to stop their trousers falling down. They wear their trousers over their pants and their women wear knickers with suspenders to hold up their stockings. And American wears braces to correct bad teeth and wears suspenders to hold up his his pants over his shorts…his woman wears panties.

    and let’s not venture into the trouble wearing one of those pouches round your waist can get you into….

    oops off topic again…a little gentle bantering about language between friends.

  • By hilly, June 16, 2010 @ 11:28 am

    oh yes and an old fashioned American might still wear knickers to play golf (but a Brit would call them plus-fours)

  • By carol4spot, June 16, 2010 @ 11:58 am

    Congrats to you Hilly on your new job! xo

  • By kroselynn, June 16, 2010 @ 8:57 pm

    Pam, thank you! I feel so much better now.

    Chavie, I appreciate the suggestion, I will check it out more thoroughly now, I just didn’t know which publications dealt with the topics Paul is talking about.

    Hilly, I will check out the forums, thank you very much for taking the time to do this for me. And CONGRATULATIONS on finding a job.

  • By Nadine, June 17, 2010 @ 10:39 am

    Je ne comprend pas il y a une drôle d’ambiance ici comme le dit Paul ” Il y a de la bataille sur mon site ” .Nous avons une chance inouie de pouvoir partager nos pensées avec Paul ! VOUS surtout les filles je ne parviens pas à traduire les textes de Paul mon mari parle très bien l’Anglais mais a du mal à le lire , donc résultat je ne peux pas répondre ou rarement !
    J’aurai bien besoin de pouvoir ” discuter ” avec lui ça me remonterait le moral !
    Profitez de cette chance que vous avez ! sinon je demande à Paul d’écrire en Français!!!!! LOL…..
    BISOUS à vous toutes quand à toi Pam j’ai cru comprendre que tu étais fatiguée , REPOSE toi nous avons trop besoin de toi ! BISOUS ma Pammy !

  • By Sarah Levy, June 17, 2010 @ 10:56 am

    Nadine,
    Je suis absolument d’accord! :-)

  • By hilly, June 17, 2010 @ 10:58 am

    Très bien dit Nadine!

  • By hilly, June 17, 2010 @ 11:02 am

    High School students all over France started the Baccalaurèat exams today; the tradition is that the first exam (that they all have to take whatever the subject group they are following) is Philosophy.

    Here is one of the questions; it seems to me appropriate to throw it into our arena (and perhaps Paul would care to share his thoughts on this?)
    I’m translating the question into the most coherent English possible (as opposed to word for word)

    “Can we construct a future without the past?”

  • By Christine, June 17, 2010 @ 11:41 am

    Hi everyone, Can anyone help me out here and tell me where the radio interview podcast link is that Paul did recently (as in I can’t remember the date lol) I had it on my old comp which is annoying me because I haven’t got it on this one. You know the one where his mobile phone battery died lol. Thank you.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By cjjo, June 17, 2010 @ 4:32 pm

    My name is Chanctetinyea Ouellette. I am a Louisiana-born Cherokee-and-African American freelance writer, editor, ghostwriter (and all-around pain-in-the-butt usually) approaching forty, the mother of three (two adults, one teenager), and someone who once upon a very, very, VERY long time ago, it seems, flattered herself to be a small part of Paul Glaser’s life. I am not hiding behind “witty” repartee, snide remarks, assertions of intelligence, cleverly (or not so cleverly) disguised malice, pseudonyms, or cyber monnikers which allow me to act with as much nastiness or acrimony as I desire towards others unknown to me with the illusion of impunity (born of a form of deception, I might add.)

    What I say and do is spoken and acted openly and as honestly as basic human nature permits.

    Long ago, after I impulsively offered a brief opinion on this site, someone immediately e-mailed me…then posted a nasty entry on my blog accusing me of being “arrogant,” all the while outlining her (or his) many credentials. The e-mail was deleted unread and the comment treated with the consideration it deserved.

    None whatsoever.

    Now, it appears that others are being accosted in this craven, backhanded fashion as well. This entry is to make sure that Glaser himself is aware of it…and to face down whomever is doing it to say stop playing childishly cruel games with other people. It is not only silly and needlessly hurtful, but it is against the law in increasingly more areas of this world.

    Also, I offer this personal message to Glaser (sorry, but I don’t know what the devil to “call” you now) himself. Yes, my butting in may have added gasoline to the fire; but, stubborn boy, the fire did exist long before my misguided actions. Ignoring this all will not make it go away, leading me to fear that if things do continue to escalate, the results will be disastrous. If someone is actually hurt as a result of this insanity (any person or people who e-mail complete strangers to bully, ridicule, or intimidate them–behind a cowardly veil of anonymity– into staying away from a relative stranger’s blog are–at the very least–unstable if not, most assuredly insane) I know you well enough to know how the guilt over such an event would affect you. (Maybe I do not know as much about you as once was presumed; however, I do know that you care about others’ pain, even if you have been known to refer to your own “narcissism”. *Note, I did not spell it phonetically, by the way.) If, on the other hand, this ends in some harm befalling you–as is not at all unreasonable to fear given very clear, very chilling fates which befell entertainers passed–I could not live with myself for not having spoken up or out against it. My own conscience would never recover from its guilt were the “news” to break that someone was seriously injured or worse (be it you, P., or one of the people now being harassed) by some delusional individual acting out some irrational fantasy–as has unfortunately happened more than once, I might add.

    Crossing lines: it may be “arrogant,” but Glaser my boy, when has that stopped me before. You have been subjected to my tirades on “celebrity” and the injustice of so-called friends and admirers telling “celebrities” only what those personalities want to hear rather than saying what needs to be said. To, therefore, say nothing now–after all my stomping and snorting on the matter–would be highly hypocritical. True friends tell you honestly when they think you are headed for trouble; therefore, even though I may no longer have the right to call myself friend (if that right was ever mine in the first place) I now take full advantage of that past liberty for one reason and one reason only: anger is anger, but that does not mean one would ever wish harm upon the one with whom she is ready to bust in the head with another well-aimed tomahawk.

    So, Glaser, be mad! Be furious. Just be safe and be wise.

    You have “called me out” on more than one occasion about my “pride.” Well, dearheart, I am now calling you out for your LACK of pride. Goodness, boy! You are better than this. You DESERVE better than this. Stand up and be heard–if not for yourself, for all of those people (not fanatics) out there who would truly benefit from even a glimpse of the real you.

    To you, P., I offer the millionth tidbit of unsolicited advice. This situation will not evaporate simply because you ignore it. Neither will it merely run its course. Again: please! Be safe, be wise, and stand up for yourself. You do deserve better.

    For those who think remaining silent will somehow mollify those who make contributing uncomfortable, one truth has remined unchanged throughout the ages: those who seek to subjugate others will not cease just because they are given their way. In truth, they actually become more emboldened by the perceived power, as the history of mankind clearly delineates.

    For all you who resort to snide remarks and the cowardice of cyberbullying: do your worst. You have no real power over Glaser, the people on this site, or anyone else–no matter what you may tell yourselves to the contrary. If you are so much better, wiser, smarter, and worthy than the rest of us, you should be superior enough to sit back, shut up, and let us prove ourselves the disrespectful fools we are purported to be.

    And by the way: you give me far, FAR too much credit. I do not know (much less have influence over) every single individual who does not agree with Paul Glaser. So stop using my words as an excuse to make mayhem.

    Glaser, if this was the wrong thing to do, I accept your recrimination as my just desserts; nevertheless, something had to be done before this all gets really out of hand. If my way was the wrong way, perhaps it might at least encourage someone far wiser, with a better approach than mine, to step up and take action.

    Chanctetinyea J. J. Ouellette
    Colorado Springs, Colorado

  • By hilly, June 18, 2010 @ 1:43 am

    “can we construct a future without the past?”
    Well I’ve been thinking about it. It is all too easy to keep glancing back over your shoulder saying “I should have…”
    “why didn’t I…”
    “if only….”
    and I know I do it a lot.

    But on the other hand how can we continue forward without drawing on what lessons we have learnt in the past…and in doing so how can we avoid allowing those lessons to pull us back?

    The past is a necessary element of the future; if humanity did not learn (at least something) from the lessons of history we would still be living in houses with no glass in the windows, electricity, running water, safe sewers etc. Our world would still be ruled by the superstitious who see ‘Satan’ in every opposition and fear the new in case it doesn’t fit the old ritual textbook. (hmmm looking at the way one or two countries are run I think I’d better think about that again!).

    Our own past hurts and joys shape us. Losing a loved one hurts and never stops hurting – but it is in moving forward that we honour that person the most.
    Past foul-ups either cloud our actions or give us the basis on which to build and get it right next time.
    Old fights just make you sore again when you resurrect them….there is an old saying – let bygones be bygones.

    I see how often Paul talks of moving on; of living in the moment and I am awed by his capacity to be able to do so (at least of that ‘facet’ of himself that he shares here. Who knows how often the past haunts him – that’s his business and not ours).

    I said I go back…I do…too often. I’ve let past errors and choices embitter my approach to what my life should and could be. So I did an exercise that I haven’t done since I was a student way back in the late 70s. I made a grid based on the old thesis of transactional analysis….and I’ve seen how and where to move forward. I found some old confidence again – maybe that’s why the job interview worked; because I at long last believed in me again.

    So now I’m striving to put one foot in front of the other; to ‘boldly go where {I have never} gone before’ (although my pernickety grammatical instinct screams at the split infinitive!) BUT I can not deny history – my history; our history, and so I have to draw on those same experiences to see where I need to go.

    Life gets a little like a maze (is that why it can be amazing?)…the great thing is that the more lost I get the more I find myself in the end.

    and if that made sense I’m getting there

  • By hilly, June 18, 2010 @ 2:10 am

    and after I hit send I realised something. One of those very things that I tell myself was a ‘wrong move’ that I have felt has blighted a part of my life, a ‘waste’ of over 8 years….taught me that technique I used to bring me where I am now.

    The past is another place…be wary when you go there; but don’t fear to look back and draw on what you learnt

  • By Sue, June 18, 2010 @ 7:58 am

    cjjo:

    Pardon in advance if this is out of line, but didn’t the apocalypse you are forewarning first start when you and your friends entered the blog for the reasons you stated in your first apology?

    If so, wouldn’t the wiser course simply be to remove the catalyst from the mixture and allow it to go back to what it was before this all started?

    Say what you will of it, it was certainly less acrimonious.

    Lest you state I’m telling you and your friends to split the scene, I’m not. I’m just wondering why your warnings to this blog’s author continue to become more strident when the majority of the folks who are stirring the pot, so to speak, are ones you, yourself, invited?

    Sue

  • By Christine, June 18, 2010 @ 9:21 am

    Hi Pam, Yes, I do think this is a ‘gift’. A gift that is given with thoughtfulness, understanding, and wisdom. Doesn’t get any better than that huh?.
    Best wishes,
    Christine xx

  • By Sammy, June 18, 2010 @ 9:24 am

    I believed silence is gold.. Not anymore….

    Cjjo:

    Same as Sue, I don’t understand why you are blaming Paul for all what started by something you and your friends initiated in the first place.

    The purpose of this blog is to learn from Paul for what he has experienced in his life time and share our thoughts as we go. You yourself apologized for the outcome of your previous actions. I believe it was very decent of all other bloggers to not to dwell on the unfortunate incident and decide to move on.

    This blog is simply not the place for bickering, fighting, and blaming each other- If anyone wants that then it should be done elsewhere, Please!

    Paul is NOT responsible for the thousands and thousands of e-mails flying between others.

    Don’t you think it is time to stop blaming the one person who genuinely cares about the rest of us who are genuinely here to learn from him? Don’t you think you should take your anger somewhere else? Remember what started this mess in the first place!

    Maybe … not everyone on this blogs is a ‘fan’ of PMG for his role as an actor or a director. But 99.99% of us respect him for what and who he is. If you cannot see why he should be respected and if you cannot respect him at all, well it is your loss. Please stop blaming him.

    This blog is a safe haven for many of us. Like Pam has said, this is a gift! A very very precious gift!

  • By Christine, June 18, 2010 @ 9:47 am

    “can we construct a future without the past?”
    You know Hilly I don’t think we can. Doesn’t our past make us who we are now for better or worse?. Life is just one long learning experience, there are so many twists and turns, ups and downs there is no way of seeing around the corner; what’s going to happen. Depending on our outlook on life and how we ‘deal’ with certain aspects of it, paves a path forward. I wish sometimes I knew then, what I know now, oh how much I would like to go back and erase a few things. The interesting thing about getting older is that when you try to advise (say my daughter) they don’t listen. Because its her journey, she will and does do it her way!. Its almost as if they think we have never experienced all the things she is now.
    I too find Paul’s attitude? maybe that should be outlook, on living in the now a positive way to think, but for me personally its so much easier said than done. I tend to look back way too much, I know its a fault and I tell myself a lot not to do it but then the wheels of the mind start turning, and oh dear I’m off again. We are who we are, we can always try to be smarter, or in my case ‘smart’ but I think at the end of the day you have to be true to yourself.
    Love,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, June 18, 2010 @ 9:55 am

    Hi Sammy, Well said my friend!! nice to see you back. Looking at it objectively ( ha ha yes, this is for you Chavie my friend) you hit the nail right on the head there!. :) xx

  • By hilly, June 18, 2010 @ 1:03 pm

    well I’m still thinking along the lines of that Baccalaurèat question…and trying to ignore the nonsense.

    Yes Christine that was what I was trying to say. Our past creates us and the past (history) has molded our society (for better or worse). Each time we make a decision – we draw on our ‘inner knowledge’ and on our collective experience too. As Sue (I think it was you Sue – sorry with all the inopportune interventions that get in the way I’ve given up scrolling back to check; aha does this mean I’m not using the past?) says – a child learns that hot things burn by touching them. Our society has learnt that “eating people is wrong” because …well because! (daft example and now my mind has gone blank)…….ah yes; our collective experience has contributed to the basic rules of society – ones that we draw on consciously or not – when making some decisions. And for other decisions we use our own experience; that which we have learnt from our past.
    We are all born as blank spaces waiting to be filled in. We are all born capable of learning to speak every language in the world – we learn the one(s) we hear around us all the time (not for nothing do we talk of ‘mother tongue’). We are all born with an intellectual capacity…and here we get the nature vs nurture problem; but whatever that capacity it is our experience (and that of our parents and teachers and mentors who draw on theirs to help us to develop ours) that influences whether or not we use it to its full potential. Even a ‘profoundly handicapped’ child may develop a talent for art or music. If we don’t have the facilities that past provides we have nothing to build on to create our future.

    I said before that I realised when I was posting earlier that as much as I do still regret wasting 8 and a half years of my life on the wrong career; I still built up a wealth of experiences and knowledge that I can draw on as I go forward. Applying for a job I had to (hand)write an account of how I got to where I am and what all my professional adventures had contributed to my capacity to do the job in question….it was a very interesting exercise.
    My hand writing is lousy and I didn’t want the job anyway but the experience of writing that account contributed to my understanding that I didn’t want it and why.
    So now I’m about to start the job I did want to get. I have the relevant professional experience and I can even use my recent past to go forward in the job. One of the houses on our listings is a house that I brought into the agent I used to work for (we don’t always have exclusive listings here)…I know that house very well; maybe I can use my past to build my future and sell it!

    I don’t know what time this post is going to display but it is nearly midnight where I am and time I tried to sleep. Hope this made sense to someone

  • By Sammy, June 18, 2010 @ 1:57 pm

    My thoughts on the subject of can we construct a future without a past?

    Yes we can but the future we construct without the past and with the aid of past will be two entirely different futures.

    What I mean is, if I think of myself as of today making a decision about the next thing I am going to do today, my past experiences will help me make the decision. Now if I suddenly got amnesia and do not remember anything of my past, will the decision I make still be the same? Depends on the situation but most of the time, those will be two different decisions.

    I remember a phrase used in my country: It stated something like this “during day time, do not fall into the same pit you fell at night” I am sure there is a better phrase for this but I am trying to translate what we had to English. This simply means that you should not or would not make the same mistake twice. Then another wise guy came with this phrase, which I thought was very clever of his part. He stated “the man who walks around during day time, who is determined to avoid falling into the pit that he fell at night, will merely fall into another pit he did not fall during night”.

    So… we learn from our mistakes, avoid making the same mistake again, but will end up making other mistakes anyway… simply because we are human!

  • By Rachelle, June 18, 2010 @ 5:26 pm

    Hi Pam and Christine – Very true this blog is a gift and I appreciate it very much!!

    In regards to the past – I’m very glad that ‘yesterday was history and tomorrow is a mystery, that’s why we call today the present because it’s a gift’. That’s one of my favorite quotes!*g* I agree Pam when you write “So I say…’Change your thoughts, change your ‘awareness’, change yourself, change your world.’

    TGIF!! Rach :)

  • By carol4spot, June 18, 2010 @ 9:00 pm

    Hi Chavie, Sorry about your issues with your dad, I got them too. It is extremely difficult, for me anyway, to try and forget the horror of him and give him love now in his time of need. I more pity him because he ‘missed the boat’ , so to say, on the real meaning of life. he doesn’t have much time left because of many different ailments caused by his own bad habits. I have never told him straight up how upset I am with him for all the pain he has caused us all. I am the only sibling who talks to him. I guess my ‘gift’ to him is to NOT tell him and to show him love . I know in my heart what happened and I don’t need to cause him the same pain he caused us. What purpose would it serve? Pam, I don’t believe that love is ever wasted..It is, to me, the meaning of life…for me anyway..xocarol

  • By heidi, June 19, 2010 @ 6:33 am

    Hello everyone!!! Glad to say I haven’t burnt anything in the kitchen recently!!
    Just struck me that some of Mr. Glaser’s ideas remind me a philosophy called existentialism.
    In one of the “Starsky and Hutch” episodes, he talked about this ,,I think because we were studying this philosophy a bit at university at the time but I had put it to the back of the head because some parts of existentialism seemed a little negative for me as a person.

    In existentialism, fear and utility of life are expressed. Have you seen James Stewart in “It’s a wonderful Life”? All of us have an influence on somebody else’s life.

    I can see from this blog here that Mr. Glaser is loved and respected by many. Probably, he didn’t realise it but his work has had a beneficial effect on many round the world and that is an achievement.

  • By hilly, June 19, 2010 @ 12:21 pm

    Heidi I think you have a good point there is much in existentialism that has echoes in what Paul says sometimes. But Chavie is pointing you in a good direction with Donald Neale Walsch’s “Conversations with God.” (TBH Chavie I wouldn’t put Walsch’s rhetorical technique in the same box as the delusions of a medieval schizophrenic manipulated by the protagonists of a semi-international semi-civil war)

    I’ve finally ploughed my way through the most indigestible bit of translation I’ve ever come across…I read Conversations With God in french! (it might have helped if the translator really understood what Walsch is driving at so that he could find a translation for ‘remembering’ in the context)
    It has taken me at least 2 years to have the courage to go back and read another page or 3 at a time – under normal circumstances it would have taken me 2 hours tops!
    Normal circumstances = I’m going to get the next volumes in English

  • By Christine, June 19, 2010 @ 1:26 pm

    Hi Heidi, I agree with you that a person can influence another’s life. Even sometimes without actually being aware of it. We are connected through each and every decision we make. Yes, I did see ‘Its a wonderful life’ I must admit I cried my way through it, fantastic ending huh?. James Stewart was a great actor. Am I right in thinking he was in ‘The Glen Miller Story’ too? great older films. As for Paul being loved and respected I have to agree with you, I do on both counts!!. :)
    Glad to hear you haven’t had anymore kitchen incidents. It gets to be a habit thinking about this blog! doesn’t it?
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By Nadine, June 20, 2010 @ 12:10 am

    Ma chére Pammy , J’ai la chance et l’immense honneur d’avoir rencontré ma petite Patricia grace au ” Cercle des amis de Paul ” et nous nous voyons toujours ! et tu sais comme moi qu’elle va bien et est heureuse ! Pas de soucis pour Maria nous correspondons souvent toutes les deux ! et je continuerai c’est une adorable jeune femme que j’ai eu la joie de rencontrer à Bromley et c’est pour cette raison que j’incite moi aussi les filles à rejoindre ce ” Cercle ” Merci Pammy pour tout ce que tu fais pour nous toutes en étant le porte parole de Paul !
    Paul sera certainement de mon avis ce bolg des ” Pensées de Paul et des notres ” est dédié aujourd’hui à notre Maria à qui je pense énormément , afin de l’encourager dans son ” Combat ” et je sais que malgré sa maladie les pensées de Maria sont pour nous toutes et tous!!!!!!!

  • By hilly, June 20, 2010 @ 12:11 am

    Chavie my point was that whereas Walsch is using a technique to explore where and how he sees himself in this world Joan of Arc was a schizophrenic who heard voices – that she managed to get the drive to join and inspire an army is another matter. But I can’t compare her tale with Walsch’s work on the same level. Joan of Arc will remain a mystery in history – no-one really knows who she was or where she came from (or how she got to be a soldier although there were many other cases of women fighting disguised as men); recent evidence points to the possibility of a less ‘humble’ background’ than the later saint-makers thought appropriate, but she wasn’t a philosopher or even a ‘Thinker’. And she was a pawn in a much bigger power game than she could ever have understood…

  • By hilly, June 20, 2010 @ 2:19 am

    chavie – drop it OK. I’ve seen a lot of recent research into who she was and where she came from. I do not believe in heavenly voices – sorry I’m too rational for that.
    She was not a simple peasant girl; that’s for sure.

  • By hilly, June 20, 2010 @ 2:20 am

    and I didn’t anywhere say that ‘crazies’ as you put it are worthless…I was merely trying to point out that the two people weren’t comparable.

  • By hilly, June 20, 2010 @ 7:24 am

    Sorry Chavie that was badly worded – I expect you’ve seen my e-mail by now any way in which I explain what I have seen about J of A reccently.
    It isn’t my period of history – but it is interesting all the same

    Jimbo…I was adressing Chavie not you and I think she understands – we have a pretty good chat going offline thanks!

    I didn’t want to argue with her here about Joan of Arc that’s all.

  • By hilly, June 20, 2010 @ 8:19 am

    I just saw your e-mail. thanks for explaining.

  • By Christine, June 20, 2010 @ 8:34 am

    Hey, Existentialism?? Oh dear, you guys go way over the top of my head sometimes!!. I did look up the word in a dictionary but hey, you all could teach me a thing or two. ( Incase anyone thinks I’m being sarcastic here, please, I’m seriously not as well educated as some of my friends on here). I’m well and truly lost this time folks :) Happy Sunday Paul, and other bloggers anyway. xx :)

  • By marly, June 20, 2010 @ 11:47 am

    Last week,during our break at work ,me and my colleagues were talking about Joran van der Sloot.
    He’s a guy(age 22),who’s the prime suspect in U.S. teen Natalee Holloway’s 2005 disappearance in Aruba and now he’s confessed to killing another young woman, Stephany Flores in Lima.
    Van der Sloot is awaiting his trial in one of the world’s worst prisons, namely the Miguel Castro Castro maximum security prison in Lima.
    All of us, including yours truly, shared the general opinion that this bad guy finally gets what he deserves.
    At that very moment we all felt united and content in our shared believe that a monster like van der Sloot should suffer for his wrong doings!
    It feels rather save and reassuring to agree with each other, doesn’t it?

    But later, after a long day at work I caught myself wondering…….
    Wait a minute……..wasn’t I the one who only recently agreed with pmg (a.o.) that we all want the same thing…..love?
    Even mr. van der Sloot wants that???
    That we should find compassion in our hearts for ourselves and by extension for others?
    Even for Mr. van der Sloot???
    Wasn’t I the one who claimed, I quote:” While reading comments of fellow bloggers I often find myself looking into a range of mirrors.
    I don´t always like what I see but it makes me very aware of the fact that in spite of all our differences we´re all the same”.
    So,is looking at Mr. van der Sloot ,without all my judgments ánd fear, also like looking into that range of mirrors?
    Am I willing to admit that I am not that different from him as I (my mind) would like to believe?
    Or would you say that I shouldn’t make such a comparison.
    Mr. van der Sloot after all is a criminal and I most certainly am not, you can take my word on that!

    Reading and writing about compassion and loving kindness is easy but to go out and actually practice it is an entirely different ball game.
    I don’t know about you but personally I often experience a rather wide gap between theory and practice.
    Compassion for myself should lead to compassion for you and in extension for mr.van der Sloot.
    We’re all in this together so if I judge Mr.van der Sloot I automatically judge at least part of myself.
    But it happens to be a part that my mind prefers to put a blind eye to…we’re all Jekylls and Hydes, don’t you think so?
    True, judging Mr. van der Sloot as a real bad and wicked person feels kind of good in a way.
    It reassures me that even though I’m not a saint at least I am not that bad a person as van der Sloot seems to be.
    Do we actually need these “bad”role models in order to create an acceptable, tolerable image of ourselves? ??

    Back to Mr. van der Sloot.
    I should be able to feel compassion for him, after all he didn’t murder my daughter, sister, niece or friend, did he?
    He could have been my son, brother, friend……
    He could have been one of the young children I enjoy working with…..I look at those children and wonder whether one of them could turn into a Joran van der Sloot one day…..

    How come that some of us turn into regular “saints” while others become dangerous “sinners”?
    Most of us are just well conditioned and behave according to the general rules of our society so what went/goes wrong with the likes of Mr. van der Sloot?
    I feel my mind is eagerly awaiting it’s chance to come up with all sorts of judgments and explanations ( I bet yours is too)!
    Mr. van der Sloot could very well be a psychopath or maybe he’s had a very traumatic childhood or maybe………So many labels to use in order to put my fearful mind at ease but no matter how many labels I create it doesn’t change the simple fact that Mr. van der Sloot is a human being just like you and me.

    Pmg wrote:”…. because we are such dangerous beings to one another, we need a moral cage of rules and regulations to keep us under control…and we have invented all kinds of cages…”
    In spite of all those cages some of us manage to break loose, yesterday it happened to be mr. van der Sloot, tomorrow it might be me, day after tomorrow it may as well be you….
    Yes, people like Mr. van der Sloot are a danger to our society and we must rob them of their freedom by putting them in some sort of institution to prevent them from doing more harm.
    I don’t need to like Mr. van der Sloot but I can’t simply turn away from that mirror …….
    Why should it be so hard to feel compassion for a young man who has lost his way so completely?
    Do I really benefit from the revengeful feelings I harbor against this guy or are those feelings probably misplaced emotions which are shielding me from a painful truth?
    My moral cage of rules and regulations is still preventing me from breaking loose and hopefully it’ll continue to do so for as long as I live but never say never…….nothing human is strange to me.
    Sometimes it’s painful and very confronting to take that giant step back and see yourself taking position, judging, etc.
    Personally I need to do this over and over again in order to remain true to myself.

    Hopefully I haven’t upset anyone with what might be looked upon as a rather controversial topic.
    These are just thoughts that I sometimes need to put down into writing to clear my mind.
    Most of the time I keep them to myself because writing them down often is enough to get a better perspective on matters and, to be honest, I feel somewhat insecure about sharing these rather random thoughts with you.
    On the other hand, I do get a lot of inspiration by just reading pmg’s blogs and your comments and maybe , who knows, by sharing my own thoughts here every once in a while, I might in return, inspire you.

    Marly

  • By Sammy, June 20, 2010 @ 12:26 pm

    To Marly: Just so that you know; I have always enjoyed reading your ‘thoughts’. :-)

    When one person takes a life or another, he/she cannot be referred to as ‘human’ anymore. ‘Humans’ make mistakes, yes! But taking someone else’s life is not a mere ‘mistake’. That is inhuman. So… the punishments he get now is not the end of it. It has just started. Even if he gets out of this in someway, his bad karma will follow him where ever he go. No escape from that!

  • By Sarah Levy, June 20, 2010 @ 1:13 pm

    Paul, this evening , I have re-read what you had to say about dreams. I find the subject of dreams very interesting because I am able to remember a lot of the dreams I have. Also, the majority of my dreams are weird, to say the least! Because I wanted to learn more about dreams, what they mean, and where they come from, I did some research via the Internet. The problem with that is that your mind becomes flooded with too much information. There are just so many different schools of thought on the subject.
    One theory that appealed to me was ‘Cayce’s Theory’. I don’t know if you have heard of it? He believed that there are five levels that dreams stem from. These five levels are; The body level, subconscious level, level of consciousness, level of super conscious, and the level of the soul. He also claimed to be able to heal the sick. Some of his beliefs I find hard to agree with since I do not believe in god. However, I think it’s interesting to read about other beliefs and thoughts, even though I might not agree with them. I also find his ideas on dreams to be fascinating and have ordered a few of his books from Amazon.

    Best Wishes,
    Sarah.

  • By Jimbo, June 20, 2010 @ 1:47 pm

    Pam – Sorry to see you leaving. You are the light at this site. I also am leaving. Take care.

    Jimbo

  • By Christine, June 20, 2010 @ 1:49 pm

    Hi Pam, Really? are you leaving this blog? This is really sad news Pam. You are so appreciated. I really don’t know what to say.
    Love,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, June 20, 2010 @ 1:54 pm

    Hi Paul, I don’t know what to say tonight, I’m sure you appreciate Pam too. To be honest the thought of not having a blog to share our thoughts with you, Pam and each other would be such a huge miss. You have no idea. I now have a huge lump in my throat. Anyway I am sending you and Pam my love.
    With love as always,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, June 20, 2010 @ 1:58 pm

    Sorry, but could someone please explain what’s going on here?. Why is Pam so upset?. Some of us LOVE this blog I don’t understand.
    Love,
    Christine xx

  • By Jimbo, June 20, 2010 @ 2:19 pm

    Pam – Some of us have been trying to campaign in support of you. Unfortunately that was spoiled by someone who was “supposedly” your friend stabbing you in the back. Please see your emails in your AOL mail for proof of that. This has been going on since last week and others were posing as friends.

    Christine, I hope this explains it a little better for you. Pam does not deserve this! She is a very good and dedicated webmaster and we do not want to have a different one.

    Kindest Regards,

    Jimbo

  • By Christine, June 20, 2010 @ 2:50 pm

    Thank you Jimbo. I ‘get it’ now and have to say that this whole thing is terrible. Pam does a great job, I honestly can’t believe this, what ever happened to TRUST? I am truly wondering just who I can trust anymore?.

    As for Paul’s blog. Paul does his best to bring people together. He talks about compassion and love for one another, how can his blog be turned into this?. Please show some respect to Pam and Paul. I am so saddened by this tonight.
    Christine.

  • By Rachelle, June 20, 2010 @ 3:16 pm

    Pam – You’re a light on this website and Shared Thoughts blog. You’re appreciated and I’m sorry to hear this.

    Paul – Your Shared Thoughts is a gift as Pam has said. I appreciate the time and sharing that you and Pam have given.

    Jimbo – Thank you for the explanation.

    Christine – I agree with you. I was very surprised to come on the blog today and see Pam leaving. She does an amazing job! Paul and Pam both deserve our respect. I’m saddened forsure!

    Rach

  • By Christine, June 20, 2010 @ 3:20 pm

    Hi Paul, Sorry but this is a message to you personally as I don’t know if I will get the chance again (if this blog goes).
    Over the last few month’s it has been a pleasure and a privilege to read your thoughts and try to mull them over in my mind. However in the last week or so your compassion and caring has seemed to be pushed to one side by those out to hurt.
    I don’t understand just why anyone would want to do this to your blog. I thought I knew certain people on here as friends, problem is it turns out I was made a fool of too. There are some wonderful caring people on here. The only trouble is some of us have placed our trust in those not realising they were out to cause trouble.
    Tonight there seem to be people upset (me included) who really only ever wanted to feel closer to you Paul, and maybe get an insight into the man you are. This is just so unfair on Pam, Paul and other genuine bloggers. This is so sad tonight.
    With love as always,
    Christine.

  • By carol4spot, June 20, 2010 @ 4:02 pm

    This is just NOT RIGHT!!!! I have finally found a place that I can come, read everyones thoughts and ponder on life’s questions and actually get help in life for a change!!! I find this site better than therapy, better than any self-help program I’ve used and it’s because I feel the people here (most of them..at least 99% of them) were real people, with real human lives that are looking for others to share in life’s biggest questions. Why let a few bad eggs ruin it for everyone else???? C’mon. I am new here and would totally be upset if this place left. I have been dealing with my issues with my ailing father much better thanks to this site. I came here for help and guidance and found it and now it’s gonna go away? I have also been dealing with the loss of my dog better in case you are all wondering about the carol4spot thing. Please take ‘a few steps back’ and reconsider….don’t leave us..xoxocarol

  • By Terri, June 20, 2010 @ 4:05 pm

    Hi Christine, Didn’t we feel the other day that something like this may happen? I’ve always been able to relate to much of your thoughts and experiences. I also feel a sadness that something we came to enjoy and appreciate, all of Paul’s time and thoughts, had to change so quickly. This makes no sense to me. Terri

  • By Terri, June 20, 2010 @ 4:19 pm

    Hello Paul, As I’ve said I think I’m a lot like Christine. I really enjoy getting to know another side of you. Would hate for this to end. As a celebrity you don’t always understand why someone feels your special in their life but you know it happens for many different reasons. Too many to list here. I’m not a very confident person so it was a little difficult for me when we spoke in the U.K. (but worth it). This blog makes the contact a little easier. I hope it won’t be a thing of the past. Love, Terri

  • By Sarah Levy, June 20, 2010 @ 4:24 pm

    I am astounded that a person or persons can come to a blog such as this and be so unkind to others. The past few weeks, I have done my best to ignore some of the less savory comments and have instead tried to focus on the ones that are either related to Paul’s blog or are the thoughts of others that have in some way come from Paul’s original post. I was hopeful that eventually, the nastiness would stop and we could go back to having enjoyable exchanges of thoughts.
    However, that hasn’t been the case. So many people, myself included, enjoy coming to this blog. How very sad that a minority appear to have spoiled it for us.

  • By Christine, June 20, 2010 @ 4:27 pm

    Hi Terri, We did. You know if I could reach out and give Pam and Paul a big hug tonight I would. I think this blog has helped such a lot of people.
    So, Paul if you are reading this please don’t leave us. You are so appreciated and needed.
    Pam, this is to you too, you are appreciated!! you have done a fantastic job over the years.
    Love to you both xx

  • By Terri, June 20, 2010 @ 4:43 pm

    Pam, Please take time and rethink. You make this enjoyable for us. I see how hard you try to make things run smoothly. I know how a bad situation can break your spirit. Please don’t let it! As Sarah just said I too tried to ignore the nasty posts. That’s the reason I read but don’t post much. Am only interested in Paul’s thoughts and of those discussing them. I know in the end you have to follow your heart but take time. Terri

  • By Sue, June 20, 2010 @ 4:56 pm

    Dudes:

    If ever there was an online tutorial of exactly what PMG is talking about in all of his posts, it’s been this dramatic blow-up right here. Now, don’t go postal on my ass, please, I’m not calling names. You do have to admit that it’s dramatic, though.

    And when you get down to the root of it all, it deals with two things. Belief and fear. It’s right there in front of you and instead of taking the person’s words we’re all here to read to heart, we’re doing the exact opposite!

    If he does leave, he’ll just be showing us that his words are definitely falling on DEAF EARS.

    I know tempers have flared. I know people have been hurt. I realize this. But take a look. Everybody.

    Is there any blood? Are you scarred? Can you still walk? Talk? Type? BE?

    Yes.

    You’re dealing with people, in the main, who you wouldn’t know if you ran them over in the street. Words can hurt, yes, but only if WE let them.

    You wanna do the author of this blog a favor? How about showing him that we actually READ what he WRITES?

    How about trying to put those wise words into actual practice here, on this blog for however long it lasts, and shake off the shit? That’s the thing about shit, guys. It washes off.

    Maybe we can take his words to heart and try to apply them to our lives right here. Right now. After all, if we can’t do it to people we basically only know as names on a computer screen, how in the HELL are we ever going to do it in real life, huh?

    Peace out, y’all

    Sue

  • By carol4spot, June 20, 2010 @ 5:01 pm

    Pam,by the way, I am really sorry you had to be subjected to evil nonsense. I don’t know what happened really, but, from my short time here I have figured out that you are a very sweet, kind human being who truly does want to help. PMG also is kind and sweet to offer his thoughts that he so nicely shares with us. Thanks. You’ve helped me alot in a short period of time.Like Sarah and others I too tried to ignore those venomous posts. As of late it was kind of hard to find a post actually related to PMG’s recent thoughts which is what this should be about right? Ugh.Alot of ridiculous nonsense. If the ‘unhappy campers’ were so unhappy why didn’t they just go somewhere else? I don’t get it. You and PMG are too good for that garbage. Especially given the fact that you’ve both opened up your hearts and blog to help others. Crazy…xocarol

  • By Sammy, June 20, 2010 @ 6:00 pm

    Pam… What is going on?

    You cannot be serious- you cannot leave the blog for heaven’s sake!

    Don’t you think this is exactly the outcome the people who sent bad e-mails were hoping to achieve? You cannot give up now.

    You and Paul have brought hope to us ad you cannot just leave us now. This is not the end.
    You have to understand that whenever someone does something good for the society there will be tons and tons of attacks against it. You just cannot stop now- You cannot just give up what you and Paul are doing and have build up this far. Can you? Are you going to give up because of some stupid e-mails someone or ones have been sending you?

    Just block the e-mail addresses or simply delete the e-mails. You should know by now who your friends are and who are not. Ignore the e-mails you know you should ignore. Those are not worthy even of a nanosecond of your time.

    You should not give up. You cannot give up. Not Today, Not Tomorrow. Not Ever!

    -Sammy-

  • By kroselynn, June 20, 2010 @ 8:06 pm

    Pam,
    I’m not one to beg for anything, but I can’t help, I love this place…So I’m going to beg.

    The good things far outweigh the bad things.
    Believe me, I wanted to through in the towel so many times on the DC Message Board, but I hung in there, and have been blessed many times over for it. I’m so very glad everyday that I didn’t give up, what a wonderful bunch of people. The good ones stay, the jerks eventually leave, or I ban them if they insist on being jerks.

    There is always a difference between someone who is genuinely wanting to learn, maybe misunderstanding-getting the ‘tone’ of a particular post wrong (it’s hard to convey tone in a forum), and those who are blatantly trying to stir things up and cause trouble and discord. Those are the ones who need to be banned, and their nasty posting deleted without hesitation. Without regard to ‘hurt feelings’ because they’re playing you if they claim that. The genuine troublemakers for trouble making’s sake don’t care who they hurt, they just need that fix they get from causing this to happen on a site such as this.

    Of course, I don’t hesitate to ban, delete or otherwise squelch the troublemakers on my sites though. They all know the TOS and the rules for the forum, or if they don’t, it’s their problem, I don’t make it mine, just because they don’t read the rules doesn’t mean they don’t have to follow them. I give one or two warnings, then that’s it. I have no time for them. Troublemakers, spammers and gossip whores are not welcome, I prevent them from even being allowed to log in.

    Yes, we do get into heavy discussions, and yes there are misunderstandings, but we always seem to work through it. If any site has the ability to that same thing, it’s this one. I’ve only been a short while, but I can tell there are a good group of people here who are really trying to learn from Paul, me included. I enjoy reading Paul, he’s refreshing and a welcome change from all the stuff I’ve been spoon fed all my life.

    You must have a kind heart, Pam, so do I. The ones who are serious are the ones who make a site like this work. The troublemakers are the ones who bring it down, hence all the “I’m leaving” messages. Because the serious ones get ‘tried of it all.’ That’s when it’s time to get rid of the troublemakers. Give them a warning first, if you think it’s the right thing to do. But “leaving?” That’s playing exactly into their hands, giving them exactly what they want.

    Everyone has a right to their own opinion, but the blatant jerk troublemakers exist on sites like this to close them down, or to stir up ‘drama’ because THEY thrive on it, and will create it where it doesn’t belong if they have to. They’re like drug addicts.

    Don’t leave. Please. Stay and let this wonderful place continue. If you need help moderating, I volunteer, I have a LOT of experience.

  • By Christine, June 20, 2010 @ 9:41 pm

    Hi Sammy, I so agree with you. I was just about to answer your e-mail when you finally managed to post here. Keep your finger’s crossed Sammy!
    Take care my friend xx

  • By chavie, June 20, 2010 @ 10:02 pm

    Dear Pam,

    Since it was I who forwarded to you those “emails” from that ONE person (and see here what some people are imagining)and there was nothing that I kept from you, would you please come back? Yes, as Jim disclosed, I have gotten these emails for a week or so. I did NOT forward it to you immediately because :

    - I was afraid. I had the impression that the person who wrote those emails to me was a friend of yours. (in fact, I thought you were close).

    - In fairness, two people I knew here joined me in sending messages at BOTH You Tube and Facebook (some of you speculators may have gotten it) that briefly said : “Let’s stick w/ Pam because it will be very difficult dealing w/ a new webmaster”. Review this whole page where itjust pissed OFF and I posted ” We support Pam, that’s IT!”.

    - I decided to send you those letters from ONE person because putting myself in your place, I felt I would not be true to my own conscience, myself and YOU, if you did not know ANYTHING. I think you know that anyway.. much as some people know that when something is not right (no matter who the person is)I try and do what I can possibly can.

    - Maybe I should have forwarded those letters sooner, but I expected things would settle down. That was my fault and I take responsibility for it.

    - Yesterday, when the same ONE person privately emailed me that Jimbo (who I personally know) was a member of the “troll brigade” (quote from that person’s letter), I was pissed enough to decide to communicate with you via Facebook at first. After that I forwarded you some of this person’s email.

    - Obviously, as you may have NOTED, this ONE person is one who is “mad at the world” or is self-appointed webmaster critic. It is sad most had the impression that you were “chummy-chummy”. Or that she knew so much about you. It is also apparent that she wrote others… but I won’t go there. (maybe she wants your job?)

    - It wasn’t only the argument but the public “bossy-ness” that pushed me to the brink, aside from calling my real life friend a member of the “troll brigade”. That’s pretty obvious, my patience is LONG… until..

    - This person is a RABID and irrational “fan” of Mr. Glaser. Obviously, you know that.. from the letter. I mean who answers with a “tirade” whenmy question was simple : “What’s going on? Again I am dense?”

    - Pam, that person also did say things about David Soul fans who may being a conspiracy (or something like that) to do harm to Mr. Glaser. I think that email alone should make you realize that this is not a RATIONAL person.

    Please consider all these factors when making a decision. You have SEEN the pleas of people HERE. People are begging you to stay, and I am (even in their subconscious) going to be blamed for telling you everything I felt you needed to protect you. I didn’t leave you hanging Pam… so I hope you won’t do that to me. I did not allow you to be thrown to the wolf w/out your knowing.

    Please reconsider. Look at these people imagining that there are “troublemakers”… there aren’t, unless you know of others and I wouldn’t wonder at all if there are others too that I don’t know about nor would wish to know.

    Pam, if you don’t come back, most will “blame” me for trying to tell you that you were already being stabbed in the back. I would have done the same for anyone btw.. as some people here already know about me.

    The only person I trust in this forum is Jimbo. And THAT is why…

    Will you stay please?

  • By PamT, June 21, 2010 @ 2:09 am

    Change is constant and nothing stays the same for ever, but how sad that it looks as if this blog may be coming to an end in this particular way. What has struck me many times, whilst generally having fervently enjoyed the privilege of visiting here, has been the relentless attempts by a very few contributors to assert control and exercise power. Well, it’s an interesting phenomenon to observe from the relative safety of my PC and, thanks to PMG, I had begun to witness my mind’s instinctive reactions and, for the most part, refrained from reacting in the way that I would once have done. Time permitting, I enjoy taking part in genuine discussion and debate, but when I suspect that all may not be quite as it seems, I’ll either not engage in the first place or subsequently draw back.

    When I first read that an individual had received an off-blog malicious and anonymous communication, I was deeply dismayed. The bitter irony that some ‘unknown’ person here, who professed to appreciate the substance of PMG’s thoughts, felt driven to adopt such a seemingly ‘just desserts’/’us and them’ approach, regardless of the perceived provocation did not escape me. Paul’s words regarding ‘putting on another set of glasses’ and taking a few steps back apparently fell on deaf ears. When it then emerged that it was not an isolated incident – perhaps more of an emerging trend – I was alarmed, but chose not to comment here and add to the momentum of what appeared to be an increasingly rocky boat. Now I read that there have been more behind the scenes communications in a seeming effort to undermine PamM. It appears likely that most, if not all, of this particular set of off-blog machiavellian efforts to control has emanated from the same individual. It’s certainly not my place to judge anyone, so I’ll leave that issue there.

    It occurred to me some time ago that, because of his well-publicised life experiences and the path he has subsequently discovered, PMG may well have received many communications over the years from people who were facing, or had faced, personal tragedies of their own ….. probably far more than he could ever hope to address on an individual basis. It seemed to me that this blog was a way by which he could perhaps introduce his thoughts to anyone and everyone who wanted to listen. To people who might then be motivated to take a look into their own mirrors and perhaps find a more peaceful and enlightened place within themselves as a result. As I have written previously, I believe that his willingness to have done so thus far has come from a place of humanity, compassion and spiritual generosity.

    I’ve no idea whether Paul will continue with his blog. That’s for him, and for him alone, to decide. I think it would be a great shame if the loud and hurtful voices of a vociferous few succeeded in drowning out the quieter majority, but I will completely understand if he chooses not to. If by any chance he does see some merit in carrying on, I agree that the greatest appreciation we can give is to demonstrate that we actually read his words and try to conduct ourselves in a way which is in keeping with the spirit of this blog. As in day to day life, we cannot control what others say and do, but we are responsible for our own thoughts, words, actions and reactions – for better or worse.

    Paul: If your decision is to discontinue, I would just like to express my heart-felt thanks for all you’ve shared with us. I know I will continue to revisit your various posts and that, even if I forget on still too numerous occasions, I’ll look in my own mirror on a far more frequent basis than I have done previously.

    PamM: I’m so sorry that you have been subjected to, and been caused pain by, such unpleasantness. I wish you the very best and thank you for all your efforts.

    My best wishes to other contributors too. All this aside, there have been some interesting and insightful comments made during the lifetime of this blog.

    PamT

  • By fee, June 21, 2010 @ 3:36 am

    What the Hades is going on here?? I have been away for a few weeks and come back to all this nastiness!
    Pam M, you know I think you do a great job with this site and I know for sure that you are a very caring person and only think of other people and am so sorry that you have been hurt yet again.
    It is obvious who is being accused here and by people that have never met her. You have Pam and do you REALLY think that she would do this to you? NO WAY! She is NOT that kind of person. I have the privilege to have her as a dear friend and know her personally not just through the internet. I will stick up for her whatever. Yes, she has very strong opinions but underneath is one of the kindest hearted and nicest people that I have come across. She is NOT the kind of person that is being painted here.
    All I will say and will more than likely get blasted for saying so is that everyone knows that emails can be doctored and words taken out of context.
    I am someone who prefers a peaceful life and would not normally jump in like this but I just couldn’t stand back and say nothing as these posts have upset me so much.
    Why, oh why folk can’t you listen to Paul and take heed of what he is trying to share with us. We all have an awful lot to learn about witnessing without judging!

    Paul I am so sorry that this sort of thing is happening here and I am another who wishes to thank you for taking the time to share with us some of what you have learnt. Your posts have always been very interesting and informative even though I don’t always get what you are talking about. You certainly make me think and that is always good.
    My best wishes also to those of you who have posted some very interesting comments. There are some lovely posters on here who outnumber the others.
    In Peace,
    Fee

  • By Rachelle, June 21, 2010 @ 9:04 am

    Pam – I’m happy to see you back on the blog. Truly I am!

    Paul – I hope you had a wonderful Father’s Day!

    Heidi – This goes back a bit, but you mentioned the movie ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’. I love that movie! It was movie that did show fear, frustration, and wishing for more in this life and then seeing ultimately what would happen if one didn’t exist. But in the end he realizes through some Heavenly help that he did indeed have a ‘wonderful life’. It makes me cry and I so love the ending! The acting was superb especially Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.

    Happy Monday all, as Pam says peace to all, Rach

  • By Sarah Levy, June 21, 2010 @ 9:31 am

    Rachelle and Heidi,

    ‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ is one of mine and my husband’s favourite movies.

  • By kroselynn, June 21, 2010 @ 9:54 am

    Whew! Welcome back Pam. :o )

  • By Sammy, June 21, 2010 @ 9:59 am

    Pam;

    XOXOXO – Finally seeing a ray of sunshine! Yeah kroselynn.. I feel the same!

  • By jools, June 21, 2010 @ 10:01 am

    And mine… not least because James Stewart was such a wonderful actor.
    It goes to show how each of us impacts on so many other peoples’ lives, whether fleetingly or in a life-changing way.

    Like many of you who have written so eruditely, I hope the blog will continue… please! :-)

  • By Christine, June 21, 2010 @ 10:18 am

    Hi pam, So pleased to see you back.

    From a personal point of view, could we all try really hard to get this blog back to the way it used to be?. All this arguing, and hurting one another goes against everything Paul tries so hard to explain to us. The ironic thing about it is that you have this man who writes about compassion and love; and we spend more time arguing on his blog than anything else.
    What ever happened to respect and love?. I personally would be so lost without this blog. Reading the other comments it would seem that a lot of others feel the same way.
    This has always been a beautiful place to come to, to feel positive and learn a thing or two….or even three. Please lets show one another respect and not use Paul’s blog as a fighting arena.
    Love,
    Christine xx

  • By Christine, June 21, 2010 @ 10:33 am

    Jimbo and Chavie, just thought I would mention it, but this 44 year old is crazy about a particular 67 year old! Age is purely numbers. How many 67 year old’s have this guys charm and smile. :) :)

  • By marly, June 21, 2010 @ 10:59 am

    Folks,
    Haven’t got the faintest idea what’s going on over here and frankly I don’t want to know either.
    People discussing private matters like the content of personal emails on a public site make me feel very, very uncomfortable and I urge you to deal with it in private.
    PLEASE behave like responsible adults and stop creating such an unpleasant and extremely negative environment over here.
    If you’re simply not interested in reading and discussing Paul’s shared thoughts go ask yourself why you’re still here and consider to move on to Facebook for example.

    Paul and Pam, don’t let all of this get the best of you, it’s absolutely not worth it.
    Hang on in there and keep up the good work!

    Love,
    Marly

  • By Christine, June 21, 2010 @ 11:03 am

    Hi Chavie, I think its a wonderful thing to have a beautiful mind. True beauty comes from within……….but an amazing smile helps lol. xx

  • By Christine, June 21, 2010 @ 1:15 pm

    You know we talk about ‘love’ and how we all want/need it. I think it is a ‘need’. My daughter went to stay with her father for 3 weeks today. Every summer this happens and every time I miss her like mad. Shes been away less than 24 hours and I’m already wishing she was home lol. As parents I think we revolve our lives so much around our children that when they aren’t there (as in here with me, lol) I’m lost. I have bought so many books to read, dvd’s to watch, and yet I have spent this evening talking to her on Facebook! we don’t even talk this much when shes at home. Over protective mother? maybe, a real pain at times? definitely, but hey you can’t beat a mother’s love. :) Just a few thoughts on love.

  • By Saskia, June 21, 2010 @ 1:24 pm

    you aren’t an overprotective mother, you just love you daughter, very much. It is natural and normal to miss someone :)

    I bet she can be a pain too

  • By Christine, June 21, 2010 @ 1:26 pm

    LOL xx

  • By Sue, June 21, 2010 @ 8:23 pm

    @chavie:

    Because I missed your shout out way above, the FSM is my BFF. I’m definitely a Pastafarian. :D

    And…you do realize that David is the same age, right? :D (that’s a friendly grin, btw).

    Sue

  • By PamT, June 22, 2010 @ 10:53 am

    Looking back on PMG’s post here, my thoughts returned to the arena of dreams. I’ve generally taken the view that dreaming is our way of sifting through the mental detritus left from the previous day(s) and sometimes the mind churning over our fears/anxieties. For example, on recalling a dream many people can sometimes pick out parts that relate to a conversation or incident that has previously taken place and I suppose nightmares where the ‘monster’, in whatever form, is out to get you could be interpreted as the mind’s expression of fear concerning its inability to ward off mortality. So I still think there’s an element of that.

    But I have to admit that there is much which is not so easily relatable and I’m interested in dream content which appears to ‘come out of nowhere’. Is it simply dragging stuff out of our subconscious and memory banks; or does it work along the same lines as our imaginations. Does it reflect our belief systems? Or is it indeed something else?

    Dreams can be so incredibly vivid. I remember experiencing one as a child which appeared so ‘real’ that for a few days afterwards I was left semi-questioning: ‘Was that a dream and this is reality or is it the other way around and I’ll wake up from this dream?’ (Is it the Aboriginal indigenous population of Australia whose belief system is centred around the concept that dreams are the real world?). So the theory that we exist in multiple dimensions and connect to these dimensions in the dream state is a fascinating one.

    Rather off-topic, but I’m also interested that very elderly people sometimes appear to enter a state of ‘day-dreaming’ when long-buried memories from their childhood appear to return (while short-term memory perhaps deteriorates). A close relative of mine was able to recite reams of previously-forgotten poetry and verse taught to him at school some 70 years earlier.

    As I’ve been writing this, part of a song is playing on some loop in my mind:

    Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream;
    Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily; life is but a dream.

    PamT

  • By Christine, June 22, 2010 @ 4:02 pm

    On the subject of dreams. I can remember my mother telling me a story of how for a few years on and off she had a dream of a man in uniform, she had no idea who this man was, she had never met him and it puzzled her. So, my parents met one another, etc and still she was having this dream. A few months down the line my father’s father comes home from being away at sea. She walks into the living room and this guy turns around to meet her and she screamed. She’d only been dreaming of this man long before meeting my father. So, how do you work that out? she had described this man right down to a birthmark he had. This story used to give me shivers when I was younger. Some things in life we just can’t figure out. Maybe we aren’t meant to?. Just believe. (Yes, I was watching Paul in the Great Houdini) I love that line!!.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By PamT, June 23, 2010 @ 12:44 pm

    Hi Christine: That’s a remarkable story. From the very little I’ve read on the subject, my understanding is some people propose that multiple dimensions operate on completely different time parameters. So I suppose, if that were the case, it would explain your mother’s experience.

    PamT

  • By Christine, June 23, 2010 @ 1:45 pm

    Hi PamT, Its quite a fascinating subject I will read up on it. There are so many things that happen to us in life that we can’t fully explain. Maybe sometimes its a case of being on the same wavelength, at the same time as someone else?. Almost sounds like a film huh?. But who knows?. I tend to keep an open mind on such things when you can neither prove/disprove them.

    Hi Jimbo!! Sorry, just read your Hi!!.
    Hope you are well.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By Christine, June 23, 2010 @ 1:54 pm

    Hi Jimbo, Please speaking from a personal point of view I wouldn’t dream of ignoring Chavie. Isn’t that right Chavie? lol. However, give the other more intelligent blogger’s the chance to answer!!. I don’t fall into this group, hey I never went to University so some of this goes right over the top of my head…. sadly, but I try. Take care Jimbo.
    Good post Chavie…. what my tiny brain understood anyway :) xx

  • By Sue, June 23, 2010 @ 2:12 pm

    Jimbo:

    And this is stated with the utmost respect, but your words aren’t making sense to me. You seem to be saying that we shouldn’t be afraid of Chavie, that posters shouldn’t “ignore her”, and then in the next sentence stating that she’ll debate anyone who doesn’t “into the ground”.

    To me, that’s almost like me saying “Why are you afraid of my beautiful Rottweiler? He’s big and handsome. Oh, and he has big teeth and a huge jaw and if you try and pet him, he’ll gnaw you apart from the toes up, but c’mon! Pet him!”

    While it’s great to see you being a wonderful cheerleader for your friend, perhaps some folks feel that if they did “take her on”, they’d be up against two people instead of just one.

    That can be intimidating, wouldn’t you agree? I think it would be.

    Rest assured, if I see anything that she posts that I feel the need to debate, I’ll do so with relish. I love a good debate, been doing it for years.

    Until then, I’m content to read and respond to what calls me to respond. :D

    Peace out!

    Sue

  • By Sue, June 23, 2010 @ 2:22 pm

    Jimbo: Perhaps, but do you think that perhaps, like myself, no one has found anything within her post disagreeable enough to need to debate?

    I don’t agree with some of the things she says in her post, but nothing I disagree with lights a fire in my belly to want to pursue a debate, no matter who the author of the post was.

    In other words, it’s the content, not the author.

    If she, or anyone, writes things that I have strong feelings about, never fear, I’ll be in there kicking. :D

    Sue

  • By Sue, June 23, 2010 @ 2:28 pm

    @chavie: :D

  • By Sue, June 23, 2010 @ 2:57 pm

    I don’t go to banter elsewhere, actually. I absolutely abhor FB, and when I chat with friends, I do it IRL or in singular emails rather than in large groups. That’s just the way I am.

    Thing is, though, this blog is what it is. It’s different things to different people, and goodness knows when there’s a crowd of three, it’s only so one can disagree with the other two. :D

    I have no doubt that should this blog continue on, and I hope, personally that it does, it will settle down again. People will fawn. People will fight. Spats will break out. People will talk about relevant things, irrelevant things, whatever. It truly is “Shared Thoughts”. Those thoughts just don’t always seem to flow in the same direction all the time.

    Heh.

    Sue

  • By Christine, June 23, 2010 @ 3:05 pm

    Hi Chavie, You know, isn’t the whole point of this blog a way of learning? for want of a better word, or maybe that ought to be understanding, what Paul has to say?. Isn’t that why we all log onto this blog because we are interested in what he has to say?.
    Granted, we tend to ‘go off topic’ yes I know I do that too; but usually with the exception of ‘arguing’ we will then get back onto the topic. Which in my opinion is Paul’s topic. I think sometimes we forget that we are human. You know you could meet up with friends to discuss one subject; and someone will add something to the conversation that changes the course of it for a while. Is this meant to be ‘formal’? you see we are onto that different words in different countries again. Formal in England is really quite rigid, strong rules etc, personally, I don’t think this is the case here. But then again that’s my opinion. However, just as long as we show respect and consideration to Paul, Pam and each other isn’t that the point?. I can’t speak for anyone else here but this is a place to come and learn, to relax, to feel positive, its a huge plus in this troubled world. Come on guys isn’t the world a hard enough place without turning this blog into what’s the word? another stressful place?.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By carol4spot, June 23, 2010 @ 3:24 pm

    Hi everyone! Just to let you know, I did read chavies post and thought it was very interesting and am currently mulling it over..I really don’t care if people banter in between all the serious posts. After all, it would get kind of ‘stuffy’ in here if it was just intellectual babble. I, for one, am the kind of guest who sort of reads everything and thinks about it for a while. Sometimes a LONG while. Nothing bothers me too much. I love to here both sides. Just because I don’t respond doesn’t mean I aint payin’ attention :) . I love all the ‘deep’ stuff and I love all the lighthearted stuff. Sue, you can be pretty darn funny! Chavie, I appreciate your angle totally. Christine, try not to fret too much. I think that LOVE will prevail!!! I think PMG is WAY to good to ‘stoop’ and I’m sure he’s taking the high road. Pam, as well, will rise above all this nonsense and stick with the people who are genuinely interested in seeking to have their questions answered and to get the ‘help’ they need. They are two beautiful people and would not abandon ship and leave people hanging. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it!! xoxoxcarol

  • By Christine, June 23, 2010 @ 3:32 pm

    Hi Chavie, Ok last post from me tonight, its late and I’m almost asleep at this keyboard. I have a suggestion, lets all just try to be grateful that Pam M is back, Paul is still here, and we still actually have a blog to talk about this blog on!!. Goodnight everyone,
    :) xx

  • By Sue, June 23, 2010 @ 4:23 pm

    @chavie: IRL is “in real life” or “not on the computer” :D Or, if you knew that, Atlanta, where I don’t want to be, or sailing my little sunfish along Wequaquet Lake (Cape Cod), where I do. :D

    @carol: “Quite funny”? Quite funny? And here I thought I was all insightful ‘n stuff. :D

    Sue

  • By carol4spot, June 23, 2010 @ 4:43 pm

    @Sue,Who says funny and insightful can’t go hand in hand?
    I also wanted to say that there were some great posters here that aren’t here anymore. I would love to see them come back. As I said above, I may not respond for whatever reason, too shy maybe, I don’t know, But I DO read everything and found all contributors very interesting and each in their own way. That’s what is so great here. Different perspectives. I am making a plea for the missing posters to come back and share. I miss you all. What PMG is sharing is very important, unique, and special. It can help us all..xocarol

  • By xtexan86, June 23, 2010 @ 6:46 pm

    Geez Louise…it’s taken me over an hour and a half to catch up on posts here.

    A while back I posted asking for those quieter individuals to think about posting. After what I’ve just read, hell, I can’t blame them for packing up the silver and running as far away as possible.

    I guess one thing I found interesting is Jimbo’s comment about no one debating/discussing Chavie’s post. For goodness sakes, sometimes it takes days for people to respond and if I looked at the posting times correctly, you were expecting something within the first 2-3 hours. I’m not trying to pick on you, but these kinds of comments, although they may be well-intentioned, IMHO, are exactly why people are driven away from this blog.

    Seriously people, there are WAY too many chiefs and not enough indians here (my apologies in advance if that statement comes across as not being politiically correct).

    And as far as all this backstabbing and crap going on, I wish the same fate on the instigators as I do with spammers and thieves. If this is what you need in your life to feel good about yourself, then I do NOT want to know what the color of the sun is in your world.

    Honestly, I know most of us here are mature, well-adjusted people with various views of life and philosophy that can respect differences in opinions. Can we PLEASE just start acting like it? I can only assume that PMG and PamM would thank you tremendously for doing so.

    Thanks for allowing me to put in my two cents. xt

  • By Christine, June 24, 2010 @ 1:44 pm

    Hi Carol, Thanks for the advice!. I will try not to worry, but hey, this is me!. However, it does concern me that if people only use Paul’s blog to argue; sooner or later maybe Pam or Paul or both of them will say ‘ok enough’.
    Its awful to see Paul’s blog being used in that way. Having said that, I’m sure (about as sure as I can be) that both Paul and Pam will as you say, rise above it.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By Sue, June 24, 2010 @ 6:22 pm

    Chavie:

    Having reread your post this evening, and Paul’s as well (and I can only go by intuition that you were speaking to him in your post since you didn’t address it to anyone specifically), and I tonight, I feel moved to respond to what you’ve written.

    If I’m reading your words correctly, you are saying that you believe that fear isn’t the only reason to take a step forward, or to form alliances with like-minded persons.

    And I’ll say that I stand with Paul in believing that it is, or at least, can be. Think about what might make you take that first step, make that stand, to begin with.

    Mightn’t it be the fear that if you don’t, no one else will, and evil, however you define the concept, will reign? You mightn’t even feel fear of that “evil” (again, whatever it might be), but might you not fear for others who may suffer should you not lend your strength to whatever alliance you’re making or stand you’re taking?

    I think courage itself stems from fear. If you didn’t know fear, how could you be courageous? If you are fearless, taking on a machine-gun nest all by yourself isn’t an act of courage. It’s just an act.

    Courage is stepping forward because of that fear, and in spite of that fear, to do what is right. Again, however you define “right”.

    If you did not fear for your loved ones’ lives, why pull the trigger at an armed intruder? You have nothing to lose if they die if you don’t fear for their safety. So if you don’t fear for your loved ones, or for your possessions, or for your own person, then pulling the trigger is murder, since you are killing for no reason other than to kill.

    Taking a stand against the darkness can be because, like I said previously, you fear if you don’t do it, no one will. Or from fear that if you don’t take the stand, you will be the next under the gun (i.e. “if I don’t speak for them, who will speak for me when the enemy then comes for me?”)

    Here in America, after 9/11, we were played constantly like orchestral violins, with our fear as the bow. Ratchet up that terror level, people instantly herd together and fall in line. Not everyone, no, but many. People are willing to give up their rights, their RIGHTS, for the cursory illusion of safety.

    Today, turn on any talk radio station, or several notable television stations, and that fear is at another all-time peak. “Fear the oncoming tide of Socialism!” “Fear that your rights are being taken away from you!” “Fear that your healthcare choices are going to be taken away from you!” “Fear that your hard-earned wealth will be given to the poor, the undeserving!” (How Christian is THAT?)

    And people are drawn into that fear by the droves. The talk show hosts know the human mind and how to control it. Make them fear, and you make them slaves; slaves with the illusion that the collar is not yet around their neck, but is coming for it…when by using their fear against them, they’ve already accepted the collar, the yoke, and the whip. They just don’t know it. They’re willingly serving one Master against the stirred up and sometimes false words that a monster is hiding in the closet who will be a far worse master.

    Fear is the great motivator. It can make you do wrong things for the right reasons, right things for the wrong reasons, and everything in between, if it’s applied just so to your belief system.

    So you form alliances with those who harbor the same fears you do, whatever they may be, and take action.

    This most recent of dust-ups is just like it. People spoke up because they feared that Paul was being mocked, or they were being mocked. No one might have been mocked, but the fear was there, and they posted against it. Took their stand, if you will, joining in like minded groups. Original posters posted back out of their fear that they were, in turn, being mocked.

    And all the while, others were sitting quietly by, fearing to post at all, while still others were stirring up that fear like master chefs. Light the fuse of fear, sit back and watch it explode.

    And it does. Always.

    Whelp, them’s me thinks, for whatever they’re worth.

    Ciao,

    Sue

  • By xtexan86, June 24, 2010 @ 8:55 pm

    To Sue – although I cringe sometimes when you poke a fork into ‘religious’ concepts and those who choose to believe them, I am always struck by your unique way of examining topics on this blog. Your dissection of ‘fear’ is a prime example. You get me to think out of the box and I appreciate that. Perhaps we’ll get to meet in person one day at a con, I’ll certainly look forward to it.

    I did want to offer an opinion on your comment about some posters speaking up because they felt PMG was being mocked. I could be off base here, but I don’t think he needs anyone, unless perhaps, they’re close friends or family, to ‘defend’ him. He’s a big boy, has gone through more crap than what anyone could ever dish out on this blog, and I think, has a tremendous capacity to let things slide off his back that aren’t worth getting upset over. I don’t feel it’s other poster’s jobs to ‘patrol’ this site, that’s a job left for the webmaster and PMG. Or so, ‘them’s what me thinks.’ xt

  • By Christine, June 25, 2010 @ 2:08 am

    You know we talk about ‘fear’ and the role it plays in our lives. I guess it depends what it is you are actually afraid of. I agree with a comment made that sometimes its the ‘fear’ that no one else will stand up for what is right, that makes one act. ‘Death’ you know sometimes when I can’t sleep at night my mind looks back on the people I no longer have in my life. Death is just so horribly final. There is just no way of ever putting things right once that person dies. All the things we should have said that we didn’t, and the things we said we wish we hadn’t, theres no rewind button to erase those mistakes. I guess you learn to live each day with the hope that you get it right in the next situation. I never go to bed on an argument, because theres that awful feeling of ‘what happens if we never see one another again?’. Is it a case of the more people you lose in your life that you then build barriers up; to prevent yourself from feeling that sense of loss again?. Its almost a catch 22 as its one hell of a lonely life never letting anyone in, are we so afraid of getting hurt that we don’t go there?. I often think about the people in my life at this moment in time, and some days its like ‘how would I go forward without them if they died?’ its a depressing thought, I know but I must admit it scares me. We ‘fear’ death but sometimes its almost like we ‘fear’ living too.
    Anyway, just a few thoughts on ‘fear’.
    Hope everyone is well.
    Love, Christine xx

  • By chavie, June 25, 2010 @ 2:45 am

    “If I’m reading your words correctly, you are saying that you believe that fear isn’t the only reason to take a step forward, or to form alliances with like-minded persons.” — Yes. I even believe that there are people who do not fear anything unless they’re mind mind-programmed. e.g. First time I experienced an earthquake I was about 8 years old, everyone was panicking and I thought it was perfectly normal for the ground to shake.The fear (more of confusion) came later when people panicked. At the age of 17,I joined a revolution to kick out a dictator and I can say I did not fear because I thought it was a street party with so many people in the streetsuntil some sniper shot me above my head and missed me by an inch. Do I believe God (or my concept of G-d) saved me? YES.

    Do I fear evil? Yes and No. Sh**t happens but I won’t go analyzing what could happen. If and when it happens I fight it by simple “faith”. IN whom? In God , in myself and in other people (alliances). If I get a gun and do a Rambo when an intruder invades my home, it would be more of love that would prompt me to do so, rather than fear. This may offend some, and I am not apologizing for it, but I believe that indeed “perfect love casts out all fear because there is no fear in love”.Do I know it to be true? Yes. Would I bet my life on it? Yes. I already did so many times.

    My concept of evil is anything that dehumanizes, hurts myself, my family and my community. You may have a point there when you say that if no one does anything, then “evil” will reign and history will show us that can only be true. No one stood against Hitler, and see what happened… please google “people power february revolution 1986 ” and that will show you how a peaceful alliance of kids, teens, party-goers literally kicked out a US supported dictator. I was a kid and among others, we halted tanks with flowers, charm, prayers, and faith. Was this alliance based on fear, no. maybe we wanted to have some fun and thrill… but fear? no.Do you think that these people were afraid? Look at this and see if this alliance (most of them sexy young teenagers) were fearful when we stopped tanks :

    Yes, again what we did then was right. We were teenagers who joined our parents because we were pissed we couldn’t party and rock all night, we had curfew, oh yeah because most couldn’ watch Voltes-Five but I never in hindsight unstood why Starsky and Hutch was allowed – though I learned later that one of the dictator’s kids was a fan. Isn’t it pretty obvious that dictatorship is evil and fighting it is good? Fear was NOT considered.. as you can see, and to think those were the days before the tearing down of the Berlin wall. You think all those teens and their fathers stopping the tanks and giving the soldiers kisses, food and flowers were afraid? I know they weren’t.Did we even fear what could have happened? No.

    YesI understand what happened after 9/11 there and the “fear” of socialism all because Obama wated to give free heath care. Canada and most European states are socialist democratic states and i don’t get the point either. But another “terror attack”, I do. Why? It could happen. It has happened in Europe and other countries after 9/11. Would I shoot Osama Bin Ladin if I saw him next to me? Oh yes. I would not mediate and “ask the universe” should I/would I.. I would make a fast decision to do so. Has he harmed me. No, nothing personal, except that he murdered 3000 innocent people. Could it have been a conspiracy? No. Do I agree with everything Fox News says, of course not.

    Bottomline is that I do not agree that we operate on FEAR, we do so more on love. Same case as choosing to celebrate life rather than death… because so what if we die ? WE all know that will happen to everyone so it isn’t a biggie. My mother died in 1997; my grandmother died in 1998 and I feel my grandmother exists “somewhere” in my concept of heaven… we could talk about it before she expired and she promised that she won’t get “lost” because i know where she is and she knows where I am. We even promised each otherto “meet again”, however weird that sounds… and I believe that. And no, I disagree that fear is a “great motivator”, because I’ve always operated on faith,hope and love. No, I am not a religious fanatic, in fact I pretty much don’t like organized religion. To give fear too much emphasis only gives it more “power” over us. I’d rather ponder over something else. For those who do not believe in the Torah/Bible that’s alright too… some parts of that book I do not literally believe either, but the most repeated reminder in the whole Bible is “FEAR NOT”– it tells us that 365 times,so it must mean “something”, at least in my pov.

    I agree with xtexan that this crazy notion of Mr Glaser being mocked is not valid at all. I re-read some of those blog postings and they do have a right to disagree, and I see nothing offensive about most of them. In fact, frankly, we are missing out on things that can probably improve our “humanity” by reading some of their blogs. (Okay guys, you can attack me later). What is frankly even more disconcerting is that people are allowed to mock religions (and I agree with that) but not Mr. Glaser? c’mon.. last night I had a refreshing conversation with people who actually KEEP SCORE of who gets “smacked down” in this blog and who actually lurk to see “who’s gonna get smacked down today”. Again, if you guys don’t believe me, use “GOOGLE”.(some even bet on it if they have a paypal). Actually, a LOT of those who were “smacked down” here, I learned, communicate with each other in other blogs/chats and they’re REAL people who are exceedingly intelligent. I think we should allow them to say what they want. I do not at all think that a writer like Mr. Glaser takes things “personally” . On the other hand, I also think that Mr. Glaser can disagree with them if he has the time or some of us can.

    About Jimbo, Sue, like the analogy, but I love him — much as perhaps, some people here like Paul Glaser (though not as obsessive, and he loves me) . He’s free to say what he wishes , much as you’re all free to criticize him. Fair, right? About what’s his-name who wanted to do a smackdown over resending emails, hey, I took responsibility for that. I did what was RIGHT and totell you the truth I didn’t send the nastiest ones (not to mention the latest nastiest ones I get from probably gay little boys who love me).

    I clicked Oncenefarious site and found out that she/he had a great blog — most of them from my favorite anime themes. She was telling (and is still telling the truth guys) and she was called a troublemaker and a spammer. All ths person wanted was a reasonable explanation. Now, I am betting on myself to get “smacked down” in this unending blog drama of Mr. Glaser… and to think I simply wanted to protect your webmaster.

    Again .. remember that equation I wrote on blog traffic???

  • By Sue, June 25, 2010 @ 3:02 am

    Morning, xt! Good as always to see you!

    First off I wanted to apologize if it seems that I’m, as you say, sticking forks in people who believe particular religious tenets. That’s certainly not my intention (religion itself? Oh hell yeah, but not its adherents specifically), and I’ll read more carefully next time I post on such a topic to make sure that that is made clear. So thanks!

    Secondly, on the topic of Paul’s need to be or not be defended:

    A little history so you can see where I’m coming from. I am friends with a television producer of some note, and his (stunningly beautiful) actress wife, though more with the producer than the wife. They send *me* presents on my birthday and I’ve stayed in their home when I’ve visited them, etc.

    So I know a little about popular idols and the people who need to protect them. Not a lot, mind you, since I’m neither a television producer not an actress of any sort! Heh. But anyway…

    There was once a nefarious board of some ill repute that has since (sadly) gone by the wayside at the show’s demise in the early 2000s. It made this blog look like Sunday morning Tea with the Queen. It was horrific, and no one came out of the six year existence of that board unscathed, particularly not the actress who at the time didn’t listen to her husband and read some of what was being said on that board as a lurker. It disturbed her greatly, enough to actually make some decisions about the show that she has since come to regret.

    But she was a young actress, first time with stardom and the HUGE stone that it is around a star’s neck. Her husband, however, who was most excoriated on that board, was an old hand at that type of thing, knew what it meant and how to deal with it. Wars weren’t the exception. They were the rule, and if five separate flame wars weren’t existing on that board on the same day, something was wrong.

    You saw the same thing there as here (and anywhere where we have a public figure who has fans who enjoy and/or are enraptured with him or her). People would flame the producer, others would immediately jump in and flame back, in the guise of “protecting him”. He didn’t need the protection, indeed was amused by it at times. He, like you said, was a big boy, well versed in the ways of stardom, what it will do to people who are both stars, and the fans who adore them, and didn’t need anyone rushing forward to protect him like a White Knight coming to the aid of the Lady Fair. Indeed, he often felt bad about those who would come to his defense because he knew that they were going to get excoriated for doing it.

    I was known for stepping in and basically saying what you have said “Please, don’t rush to his defense. He can take it.” etc. etc., but in the end, I had to accept that as part of human nature.

    People will always wish to protect those who represent to them something good, something that fascinates them, something they are obsessed over, as in the case of television shows, for example, or the people involved in creating them. It’s an interesting aspect of human nature how we as a species are drawn to public personae in ways that go beyond others who we know and consider our best friends and family. Those public personae are, when it gets down to brass tacks, honestly strangers to us. We see them regularly, and they perform their craft for us, and we think that they are willingly inviting us into their lives via their acting, so we feel that we *know* them. When in reality we only know the face they choose to present to the world and not the person who, in the privacy of his own home, wipes his nose on his sleeve, or gets up at night to soothe her cranky toddler.

    We’re attracted to that face, and we are driven to protect it. We’re really protecting ourselves because when that public person is perceived to be mocked, we (even unknowingly) perceive ourselves as being mocked…since we are identifying with the person we see on that television or whatever, we have taken that mask, that character into our lives because of how he or she moves us. So we’re really protecting our own tender hearts when we do what we do. We’re treating the idol as a member of our own family when such isn’t the case at all. But, like I said, it’s human nature to do so.

    Saying “he’s a big boy and can protect himself”, while the very truth of the matter, isn’t going to stop people from wanting to protect him, because they have made him part of themselves and they are protecting their own selves as well.

    With Paul, it’s even harder, because far beyond the mask of the actor on television, he’s doing what few other public (or even private) people dare to do…sharing with us his most private of thoughts.

    Inviting us inside his head, so to speak. He’s letting us in, and that is going to make us twice as protective of him because HE is meeting US halfway, sharing his thoughts and daring us to do what we will with them, whatever that may be.

    I guess that’s just my convoluted way of saying that while I’m quite sure Paul needs absolutely no protection from any of us on this blog, we’re going to be protective anyway, because we’re human.

    And that’s what we do.

    :D

    Peace, my friend.

    Sue

  • By carol4spot, June 25, 2010 @ 1:11 pm

    PMG says “So, I propose that we view each others different ways, beliefs, ideas with more curiosity. Not just curiosity in all the different ways, but curiosity in ourselves and our own process of holding on, attaching, afraid to let go of any or all of the beliefs that our minds would have us identify with.”

    Ok, I am having a bad time dealing with this right now. My father has just gotten me upset to the point where I don’t care about his ways and am not curious about his beliefs. He spews venom at me when I am simply ‘caring’ about him and asked him how his visit went with a respitory therapist. He went on and on about how he hates questions and doesn’t understand why people ask him crap all the time. Well, ya know what, how about I don’t give a s*#t anymore. With all the baggage of the past that he has put on me and my siblings why am I caring ‘with curiosity’ about his beliefs or where he is coming from? I am so upset right now. Why doesn’t this man have ‘curiosity’ about MY beliefs and the way I am trying to rise above his BS and show love regardless of all the pain and suffering he has caused us. I am just having a hard time with this right now. He is so very cruel. I don’t like his ‘beliefs’. He hates everyone. So much for dealing with this better as I stated in an earlier post. So, basically I am asking how could I possibly view his beliefs in any positive light. He’s a creep it seems to me. Where’s the nearest bridge? i don’t operate like that. I would be grateful for anyone asking me how I was doing. Am I being judgmental? Mental? I don’t know. Having a hard time right now. xocarol ps..hope I am not sorry later for posting this

  • By T, June 25, 2010 @ 2:15 pm

    Hi Paul,
    (I hope it’s not too forward using your first name).
    I see the bullets are still zinging, so I’ve been laying low, not saying much. But I read. I read it all, and I have to say that I really like the way you think. I know I keep going back to religion, and you don’t write about religion per se, but then again, you do. You just don’t call it that. And therein lies the reason I keep coming back. I was raised in the deep south (USA)where Bible Thumping Fire and Brimstone Christianity reigns. (I’ll probably be attacked for this. Sorry to anyone offended). Attending church as a child, I remember cowering in the pew while the pastor towered over us screaming and shouting and threatening, and my only wish was for it to be over. And the other sermons, the less dramatic ones, were merely boring. I always went home feeling empty and wondering why we had to put ourselves through that if it didn’t stir any positive feelings. When I was old enough to make my own decisions, I quietly walked away from the church, but not from God, who I perceive to be a very real and benevolent being. Love personified.
    Does that make sense? Can you love God and be loved by Him without participating in the myraid rituals that each religious sect dictates is the ONLY WAY to Heaven? My Christian friends who attend Church feel it is their duty to pressure me to do the same (since I’ll go to hell if I don’t). I don’t argue with them. I just smile and say, “I’m fine. God knows where I stand and that is all that matters.”
    Every religion thinks that every other religion is wrong.
    So, how did I become a Christian? My parents were Christians and they raised me that way. It’s as simple as that. What if they had been Buddhist or Muslim or Hindu? Then I would be too, and I’d think the Christians were doomed.

    The Holy Bible is a collection of writings by authors who claim they were guided by a Divine Hand. So was the Torah and the Quran and the Book of Morman. Who is right?
    There are those who believe that Jesus Christ is the Messiah and those who don’t. Who is right?

    My point is this, Paul. I come to your site and read your work and, finally, I FEEL God. God is Love. He is not in the temples we build or the garments we wear or the Holy books that we read. He simply IS. You’re the first person who has articulated what I’ve always felt. You say it’s ok to have doubts. It’s ok to think and act independently of those around you. It’s ok. It’s ok.

    You are the voice of reassurance. I love you for that.

    Thanks,
    T.

  • By Sue, June 25, 2010 @ 2:47 pm

    Carol:

    I hope you don’t mind my stepping in. If I say something out of line, please tell me, because I don’t want to make things worse. Or feel free to ignore me, or tell me to go to Hell. I’m okay with all three.

    I think maybe it might be not so much about viewing your dad’s beliefs with curiosity so much as trying to see what’s behind them. The way you wrote, it sounds like he’s in a lot of mental pain, and always has been. It sounds like he’s pushing you away with both hands. In my admittedly limited experience, when someone becomes so bad that when they’re unhealthy and they still continue to push away those honestly trying to help, they’re not pushing those people away at all. They’re trying to destroy themselves and using proxies to do it.

    You may never know what happened or didn’t happen to cause your dad to become the man that he is, but sometimes you, yourself, have to make the choice between continuing to hang on or simply letting go.

    There’s no shame in letting go.

    But I imagine that what you and your siblings experienced all your lives is the tip of the iceberg. Trying to ablate those symptoms by arguing back or even being compassionate toward his outbursts isn’t getting at the root cause of the problem.

    But with what you write, trying to get to that cause would probably cause you much more pain than it would ever ease his own. It sounds like he’s lived with whatever is making him do this to you all of his life.

    You can’t fix what you don’t know. It’s the same with my own parents, particularly my mom. I wrote to them several months back about the fact that I’d been laid off. It wasn’t to ask for anything, even compassion. It was just to let them know. It was no big deal. I’m a nurse, and I knew I’d get another job before the money I received as part of my lay-off package ran out. And I did. It took all of a week.

    But anyway, I got back the absolute coldest letter you can ever imagine. It could have been written to a stranger. I was informed that if I wanted to prove I was an adult, I would move back home and find a respectable job (um, I’m a Nurse…that IS respectable!) but that my dogs were most definitely NOT welcomed, and so I would have to make the adult decision and have them destroyed (yes, destroyed) or I was not welcomed in their home.

    Well, I flew off the handle. My relationship with my folks, particularly my mom, has never been good, but she was turning into HER mother right before my eyes, and I wasn’t going to take that. My father wrote back telling me that HE was the one who wrote the email, covering, as he always does, for my mother.

    I flat out called him a liar and told her that I would appreciate it if we simply pretended that she did not give birth to me from here on out.

    I know what’s behind my mother’s pain, but I can’t possibly reach it, so I had to make the decision for my own sanity to just give up.

    Your decision may be different, but know that most likely it’s not *you* that he’s wanting to destroy. It’s himself.

    Sue

  • By Christine, June 25, 2010 @ 3:11 pm

    Reading the comments made about ‘defending’ a public figure/celebrity its really interesting how we all view it. Personally, I think Sue made a great point about us doing this because we are human.
    I’m sure those in the public eye learn to rise above it. However that doesn’t prevent someone reading a comment and wanting to step in and ask for a little respect to be shown. Take PMG, there are many different reasons why we admire him. Ok we may not know him personally, but it doesn’t matter, we all know just how much work he has done over the years for HIV etc, we also know that he is a genuine caring man. So my point is I realize he probably doesn’t need anyone to defend him, just as my friends/daughter probably don’t need me to defend them either, but you have to be true to yourself. If you ‘feel’ its the right thing to do believe in it. Its not just a case of wanting to ‘defend’ a celebrity its more of a case of defending someone you care about and know to be a beautiful person. Does it matter if its the man/woman down my street or Paul?. At the end of the day its what your heart tells you is right. Just my thoughts on it, I can only speak for myself.
    Best Wishes, Christine :)

  • By Christine, June 25, 2010 @ 3:22 pm

    Hi Carol, Really sorry to hear you are having a rough time. I hope things pick up for you soon. I always try to remember that sometimes when we lash out at those we love its because we know that love is unconditional. I’m sure you have tried to be a support to your father. Maybe he is using anger as a cover for ‘fear’?. When we are ill it makes us so desperate to feel like we have some control over our life. It can be very frustrating to the ill person. I wish you well.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By Sue, June 25, 2010 @ 3:36 pm

    Christine:

    Something I thought was particularly interesting about the need to protect a public personae that you particularly adore is that it appears to be genetic.

    I work at Emory University, and we just finished a study that showed that chimpanzees do the exact same thing, in a manner of speaking.

    They showed two chimpanzees how to perform the exact same task, but in two very different ways. One was the “television idol” of the group, and the other was just a “television viewer”, no one “special”.

    After we had taught the two chimpanzees to do the task, we had them do it in front of the entire group of chimps to see which way they would choose to perform the task.

    Without fail, it was the way that the “television idol” performed the task and not the way the “average viewer” did.

    Still not sure what it means, but it really seems to be part of our evolutionary nature as a member of the animal kingdom. :D

    Sue

  • By Christine, June 25, 2010 @ 3:41 pm

    Hi Paul, Pam and bloggers,
    Hope you all have a good weekend. The sun is shining yes, even over here!!.
    Love,
    Christine xx :)

  • By Christine, June 26, 2010 @ 12:27 pm

    Hi Sue, Interesting huh?. Although I must say sometimes trying to get my head around some of the comments on here, those Chimps would probably learn quicker than me lol :)

  • By Terri, June 26, 2010 @ 12:39 pm

    Hi Christine, You always make me smile. I feel a little like you with some of the comments, but thankfully we have a little advantage. The Chimps can’t read. Hopefully no one will teach them. Terri

  • By Christine, June 26, 2010 @ 1:02 pm

    Hi Terri, Thank goodness we have dictionaries huh?. Honestly, sometimes things go way over my head. Bad isn’t it?, when you need to look up a word before you can even begin commenting on it lol.
    Best wishes, Christine. :)

  • By valerie, June 26, 2010 @ 1:32 pm

    Hi Paul,
    I have nothing to add everything is said.
    I share your opinion.
    Have no judgment, even if sometimes it is not always simple….but let us try all the same.

    Christine I had a small smile when I read your comment on chimpanzees but I do not know why !!! (lol)

    have a nice day to all and a sweet evening.
    kisses from france
    valerie

  • By heidi, June 27, 2010 @ 3:59 am

    Hello everybody!

    Yes, the word “existence” and why each one of us is on Planet Earth. Many times, I wonder what my life is all about. As this is a discussion group as well, how do the rest of you think that their existence so far has influenced other people apart from their own families, that is??

    Mr. Glaser mentions standing back and looking at ourselves. You know I find that very difficult to do. Over the years, I know my friends and their good or bad qualities but so far my life has been conditioned to hard work at school and work life and to think of other people. I never had time to sit down and look at myself. Have you others done that?

    Recently, I have been thinking about my existence here.-including influence on others.
    The feedback from others, well somebody I grew up with in my small hometown told me that he was grateful to me because I had taught him to play tennis when we were children!! For me at the time, it was nothing because we playing sport in school.

    More feedback came from one of my students when I was teaching English in Spain. In those days if you were unemployed in Spain, you got no money from the state so I had seen young people go hungry in the classes.
    Well, at the end of the year, one young lady came to me and was happy that she had found a job working on the reception of a big hotel in Sevilla. She now had money for herself and her father to live on!!
    You see–I didn’t realise that my English class had helped her like that– I was just doing my job.

    Anyway, that is just me rambling on. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!

  • By Softly, June 27, 2010 @ 7:16 am

    Dear mr Glaser,

    A friend of mine recommended a book for me to read by a Bhutanese lama, filmmaker, and writer. The book is called What Makes You Not a Buddhist, the name of the author Dzongsar Jamyang Khyentse.

    It is a wonderful description of what Buddhism is and is not. While reading I kept thinking about the thoughts you share here. The thoughts you offer up here are addressed, played out and finished in this book by your fellow writer and filmmaker.

    So I just thought you might like to read his take on these shared thoughts.

    With the utmost respect,

    Softly

  • By lla, June 27, 2010 @ 3:21 pm

    Oh boy, here we go again…this is getting old.

  • By Christine, June 27, 2010 @ 3:32 pm

    Sorry but I have to disagree, sometimes I have gone way off topic then back on topic, it happens. What is true is that it gets tiring when all we seem to do is use this blog to argue on. Paul sets the topic, after all its his blog!!. Why does it seem that we constantly go back to having a go at Paul when infact its us not the man himself that argues?. Its madness, but the thing is its spoiling a chance of a lifetime for those of us who again want to hear what Paul has to say.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By carol4spot, June 27, 2010 @ 3:35 pm

    Hi Sue! You said, “In my admittedly limited experience, when someone becomes so bad that when they’re unhealthy and they still continue to push away those honestly trying to help, they’re not pushing those people away at all. They’re trying to destroy themselves and using proxies to do it.”
    Thanks for responding!
    Yeah, I get why they do what they do. The ‘dynamics’. I understand it completely. It’s just that sometimes even the most compassionate, loving souls can have a breakdown with enough abuse, ya know what I mean? He is on his way out. I am the only sibling dealing with it. He didn’t ‘turn’ nasty because he is ill, he was ALWAYS nasty and now it seems amplified. He is/was bigoted, mean-spirited, violent, etc.. The list goes on. I don’t like his beliefs because they are evil to me. He hates people just for their ethnicity. I can’t relate to him. Never could. Despite my upbringing, I love everybody. He couldn’t ‘train’ me to be like that. I just nod at everything he says to keep the peace. Inside I’m saying, “He is just NOT a nice person.” Nevertheless, I will keep my promise to give him love and compassion til the end. That is all the man has. Aint easy. My brother says he won’t have peace of mind til he’s dead and buried(gives you an indication of the level of pain he’s caused us all). This is just tough. I’m sure that these are small potatoes compared to some problems but, it’s my current goings on.
    I figure I am human and it won’t turn out flawless. I will definitely have my moments. I try to incorporate PMGs thoughts into how I am dealing and it does work most of the time..thank you for the ability to practice what you preach (Try hard anyway). It sure helps to have a shoulder over here in this blog. Also, Sue, you seem like you have your share of garbage going on with your folks. Some story. Sorry about that. I hope you find strength to deal. This is a good place for that. xo
    Christine, thanks for your kind words. You are a good person!
    xocarol

  • By Christine, June 27, 2010 @ 4:03 pm

    Hi Paul, Glad your blog is back on, just would not connect at all. Its now 1 am I am shattered, goodnight and take care.
    Love,
    Christine.xx

  • By Sue, June 27, 2010 @ 5:18 pm

    @Jimbo:

    Hey Jimbo? Did you happen to notice that Paul’s blog ALSO suddenly disappeared for a good long while? This stuff happens. I sincerely doubt that anyone is after your friend’s blog. Coming on here and giving out unfounded accusations isn’t productive at all.

    I understand your need to defend her, but this can be done in private. No one has spoken ill of her, and I did exactly what you wanted, debated her post, and still that’s not good enough.

    C’mon, dude, can you let this blog rest in some peace? If you get some conclusive proof, take it to Pam and let her know who did it.

    Please?

    Sue

  • By Christine, June 28, 2010 @ 3:03 am

    Hi Sue, I agree with you this is getting annoying now. Remember those early days on here? when everything more or less just went along great?. Did you try to connect last night too?. Don’t know what the problem was but it went on for a while. I thought Paul and Pam had said ‘enough’ and packed up and moved on lol.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By Nadine, June 28, 2010 @ 5:41 am

    Je suis de tout coeur avec toi Pammy , ce blog ne peux contenir que ” des pensées partagées ” la Paix ! l’amitié ! les insultes et les critiques ne sont pas les bienvenues !

  • By Christine, June 28, 2010 @ 10:29 am

    Going back to Paul’s blog. We all want the same thing? Love?. Ok I would certainly agree with that, but where does ‘trust’ fit in?.
    Not been the best of days today, infact i had to look in a mirror to make sure the word ‘mug’ or idiot wasn’t written across my forehead. Yesterday someone called me naive, ok there are worse things than that I guess. Today, I have found myself wondering just who in life we can actually ‘trust’. How is it that once you begin to trust you are then made a fool of? I guess it could work the other way and we build our walls so high that no one ever gets close enough to make us feel bad.
    I honestly don’t understand this world at times. Is it so terrible to be trusting?. It sure gets you hurt. So we all want love huh? question is how are we meant to love when there is just no trust?. Trust is given, but sadly its not always returned. Just a thought.
    Paul and Pam you do a great job guys. :) xx

  • By Saskia, June 28, 2010 @ 10:47 am

    i think the only way to have true love, in a friendship or relationship is if you trust them 100% also.

    good points Christine, and I promise you, you are not a ‘mug’ or will you ever be.

    :)

    Peace
    -Saskia

  • By Sarah Levy, June 28, 2010 @ 12:24 pm

    Christine,

    I am so sorry to hear you have been hurt by someone.
    You said;
    ‘How is it that once you begin to trust you are then made a fool of?’
    I believe that they are the fool if they have abused your trust.

    I hope you can move on from whatever happened. There are good people around who appreciate great friends. I’m sure that you fit into both of those groups.

    Sarah x

  • By marly, June 28, 2010 @ 1:29 pm

    Dear all,

    In an effort to analyze (read; to understand) what’s happening over here, I’ve been reading and rereading the comments on pmg’s latest blog:”Put on your other set of glasses”.

    I’ve been a member of this “Shared thoughts” blog right from the very start and for a while it appeared to be a friendly and democratic place where everyone who felt like it, could join in and share his or her thoughts on pmg’s blogs.
    I’ve never been a member of an internet blog before and I was totally unaware of the sometimes rather unpleasant side effects of sharing thoughts with one another on a public medium.
    Well you could say that by now I’m not that innocent anymore!

    For the past few months I’ve witnessed several “rows” amongst some participants of this blog.
    It’s not up to me to discuss or question the reasons or motives behind these “rows” (I leave that to the ones involved and hope they’ll solve their indifferences in private)but fact is that again and again people get hurt on a site that was originally meant for just sharing thoughts on topics that, ironically enough, deal with matters such as love, fear, anger, fear ,etc. to name but a few.
    Some of you will no doubtably object to this by stating that every member of this blog has the right to share his/her opinion whether it’s an agreeable one or not, that’s called democracy, right?!
    But democracy (a term often misused) doesn’t give anyone the right to vent about whatever comes to his/her mind and to deliberately hurt others.
    I’m very much aware of the advantages of the internet but it can’t be denied that it’s being abused by people who believe that the anonymity of this medium gives them the freedom to behave themselves in a way they would never dare to behave if they were facing the other party face to face without being able to safely hide behind their flat screens and shiny keyboards.
    When I try to read between the lines of some of these “outspoken” posters on this site I can’t help sensing their need for acknowledgement and confirmation,( mind you, that’s just my personal interpretation) and then I tell myself to practice some compassion (and a lot of patience as well!) cause it may very well be possible that behind all this unpleasantness lies a lot of fear…….you are free to figure that one out for yourselves.

    Somehow I feel that in a way we’re all responsible for what has happened during the past few weeks.
    We form bonds and choose sides, defend and protect in order to feel safe and secure, that’s what seems to be happening on every forum and blog on the internet(or so I’m told) so why not here?
    (It’s not an exclusive internet thing, it happens there where people meet and form groups).
    Can we prevent it from happening?
    Don’t think so but we can be alert and acknowledge it, be aware of the side effects and try to don’t let it hinder us in our objectivity towards each other’s opinions.
    We can object when people get deliberately hurt or made fun of by other members, in spite of our bond with either the “victim(s)” or the “attacker(s).”
    Don’t let our fear get the best of us.
    Above all, before responding to a member’s post let’s take plenty of time before pushing that “enter” button.
    You can’t undo the damage after pushing that button and you are liable to feel sorry afterwards.
    Maybe it’s wiser to keep your comments on your pc’s hard disk drive for a day or two and to reread it before sending it off, just an idea to try out if you like.
    We are free into believing that we’re right and the other one is absolutely wrong but let’s try to remain respectful and decent while convincing the others of our precious ”truths” on this blog.
    Behind each name is a real person with real feelings.

    Wouldn’t it be a deed of kindness towards ourselves if we used the (relatively) anonymity of this shared thoughts blog not as a platform to air our grievances towards each other( or as a show off for our debating skills for that matter) but as some sort of tool that enables us to see/understand a bit more about how our mind works and to help us to acknowledge that others have minds like our own.
    If we really make an effort to understand where the other one is coming from we might discover that he/she isn’t the enemy and with that insight it may be a lot easier to let our defenses down and really start sharing our thoughts.
    This approach isn’t easy, it’s hard work I think ,because it demands honesty and bravery to look ones own vulnerability and fear right in the face and to recognize it through all the facades/masks in other participants over here without preconceptions and judgments.
    Let’s try it and see what happens.
    We’re not always willing to look into those mirrors that other people hold up to us, are we?
    I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we’re only able to recognize in others what we already know(consciously or subconsciously) of ourselves.
    Looking into some mirrors may indeed be very painful sometimes but in the end it allows me(sometimes, I still need a lot of practice!) to be less judgmental en more forgiving towards myself and in extension towards others.
    You know, It’s like pmg wrote:” What would be cool is if those of you finding yourselves embroiled in this flap would take a giant step back. (Take another, they’re free.), And from this wider perspective, where you can still see the other person, can you also see yourself taking yours position? See your mind preparing all those definitions and judgments to defend against your fear”.

    By the way, it occurs to me that there seems to be some confusion about the meaning/intention of this shared thoughts blog.
    Could Pam or pmg shed some light on this matter for those who are in dire need of an explanation?

    Thank you,

    Love,
    Marly

    P.S: It’s good to see you’re back again,Pam!

  • By carol4spot, June 28, 2010 @ 4:54 pm

    @ Marly, first of all, I really enjoy reading what you have to say. You’re a good person.
    I totally agree that this place should be centerd around Paul’s thoughts. No doubt. That’s what I like about this blog. But his thoughts are something that should be applied to real life experiences. I think people discussing an ‘experience’ and figuring out how to apply Paul’s thoughts into dealing with whatever is really what it should be like here. Good, bad or ugly. Ya know? Life isn’t always nice nice. I think you may have hit on something when you said,
    “then I tell myself to practice some compassion (and a lot of patience as well!) cause it may very well be possible that behind all this unpleasantness lies a lot of fear.”
    When I read something ‘unpleasant’ I don’t get all bent out of shape. Obviously, this person needs to be heard in some way and if you filter through all the nastiness you will probably find ‘that grain of truth’. I certainly don’t agree with disrespecting someone. I have to admit, I feel hurt myself when someone is insulting to PMG or Pam. I try to have faith that PMG and Pam are ‘seasoned’ in the love department and can rise above it. After all, it is just words.

    @christine, I am sorry you were insulted by someone you trusted. Shame on them because you too are a good person.. by the way,

    Definition of naive:

    Lacking worldly experience and understanding, ….

    If it’s any consolation, I must be naive too. I haven’t traveled the world. I only speak english.
    Don’t take offense. This word can actually be a compliment..lol.. Young and innocent and impressionable.. lol
    xxoocarol

  • By Christine, June 29, 2010 @ 2:19 am

    Hi Chavie, So you have posted my private emails on multiply and Facebook?. Funny, I never thought I would be worth that much trouble, maybe I am naive after all huh? or maybe just plain stupid. Honestly nice way to start the day!.

  • By Christine, June 29, 2010 @ 2:21 am

    Oh and by the way Chavie, I won’t reply to any other posts from you. This is Paul’s blog lets just try to respect that.

  • By eggnoggon, June 29, 2010 @ 3:03 am

    What a labyrinth of rights? and remains (lefts?) Pursuits of knowing and moment. Always previledged by choice of path.

  • By kroselynn, June 29, 2010 @ 8:06 am

    Pam, that’s a good question.

    My root presence of my fear is that I somehow won’t be good enough even though I’m trying to be the best I can be, and that my family will just ‘forget’ me and leave me alone…..

    Maybe that’s my root fear. Being alone.

    How does a person work through that? Try to be better? Well I’m already doing that.

    Maybe I’m not giving those around me enough credit.

  • By xtexan86, June 29, 2010 @ 9:36 am

    You know, there’s a lot of things I enjoy about this blog, but unfortunately, they’re becoming few and far between. What used to be the main attraction, PMG’s thoughts, are now being replaced by the ‘cat fight/bitch of the day.’

    Why are people bringing their irrelevant conversations from Facebook and whatever, here? And, not only do you bring that unwanted and unwelcomed crap here, but you use it to try and prove to the rest of us, who have no idea what’s going on, that you’ve somehow either been bashed or flamed or deserve to be vindicated and thought of as an honorable person.

    Jimbo – you recently jumped on PamM and accused her of deleting one of Chavie’s posts. She’s responded twice to you, the last offering an explanation to what happened to that MISPLACED post and you can’t even be a man and admit that you probably spoke too hastily.

    And to PamM and PMG, with as much respect as I can muster, the question of the intention/meaning of this blog has been asked numerous times, yet, unless I’ve missed a post, has never really been answered by either one of you. It’s wonderful that ‘all are welcome here’ but all some of us really want to know is…what is ‘here’? At least, I do.

    Anyway, that’s all I’ve got to say. My sincere thanks to those of you who are trying their best to keep this blog as it was intended…whatever that is. xt

  • By carol4spot, June 29, 2010 @ 10:59 am

    @ Kroselyn “Maybe that’s my root fear. Being alone. ”

    It kind of has me concerned that your family would just abandon you. Do they not appreciate you? Not my business but I hope that gets better for you. I agree with Pam’s comment when you said, “Maybe I’m not giving those around me enough credit.” You do need to give yourself the credit. You are human and deserve it!

    In my opinion, that’s all it is, is that if you give love in the world unconditionally you will never be alone. To me giving love attracts love. Hey, I’m not a rocket scientist, this is pretty easy stuff. (giving love, that is). Operate from your heart. It feels nice….xocarol

  • By Christine, June 29, 2010 @ 11:27 am

    Hi Paul and Pam, You ever get a sense of deja vu? Didn’t we go through something like this recently? You know, I think people feel ‘threatened’ by someones affection/admiration/respect for another. Maybe they can’t understand it, maybe they don’t want to. I feel like I am being pushed out of this blog by those who don’t want me here.

    This is so unfair. No one comes on here to read this. I am seriously not worth the amount of fuss you guys are making here. Let it go. Respect Paul and Pam and the other bloggers, but please…..look what you are doing to Paul’s blog. Paul I love this blog, but this is getting so personal now. One last thing Chavie,
    STOP THE EMAILS!!.
    With love as always to you Paul. xx

  • By hilly, June 29, 2010 @ 12:24 pm

    “This experience of our existence has absolutely nothing to do with right, wrong, good, bad. Granted, because we are such dangerous beings to one another, we need a moral cage of rules and regulations to keep us under control…and we have invented all kinds of cages…” PMG

    Society is a series of cages. We strive to fit – to do what we were taught. Good manners; work hard, play hard. Be ‘good’. We move from one set of rules to another and learn to adapt to them – and to adapt them.
    Maybe this is the moment to say that some cages are ‘golden’ we construct them to protect ourselves.
    we need a moral cage of rules and regulations to keep us under control…and we have invented all kinds of cages…
    Golden cages protect us by making us feel safe within their bars. Steel cages protect us by preventing us from doing harm.
    So why don’t we break out of these cages? Instead of creating new ones for ourselves by defining our beliefs, values, needs …
    Our old friend, the not so magic dragon is coming out of his cavern again folks…Fear.
    Oh and look over there….coming out of another cage…Hope
    And standing between them; helping us to decide which team to join….Faith.
    Faith in ourselves and in others…and in a greater being if you wish (pasta; chocolate; guy with a beard sitting on a cloud; cat; white mouse…it’s up to you)…faith gives us the possibility to follow our instincts to the cage we want to inhabit – the society we want to live in.

  • By Saskia, June 29, 2010 @ 12:27 pm

    @chavie; stop playing games, you know what emails, you know you broke someones privacy, Christine may have been discussing something that had insulted her in an email, but that doesn’t mean it was you. That doesn’t mean you had the right to go and post all of her emails on your blog and bitch about them to your friends. It’s so immature.

    It just shows you can not be trusted and how back stabbing you actually are.

    there seems to be so much drama on here all of the time! It seems to always be aimed at Christine! This needs to stop NOW. It’s a blog for Paul, for Pam for all of his fans, not for some individuals to continue to stir and stir trouble.

    Paul, Pam, this blog is great, and I hope that because of some trouble makers it will not get shut down.

    Peace
    -Saskia

  • By Sarah Levy, June 29, 2010 @ 12:44 pm

    ‘To me giving love attracts love.’

    Carol, I do agree with that, although there are always exceptions. A minority of people find it almost impossible to love or to be kind. However, I believe that the old saying; ‘misery breeds company’ is very true.

  • By Sarah Levy, June 29, 2010 @ 12:49 pm

    Kroselyn.

    Are you afraid that if you mess up, your family will abandon you? I hope that wouldn’t be the case.

    Sometimes, we need to take a leap of faith. We might mess up, we might not. I do understand how hard it is to build up one’s confidence. For me, I have found that the more things I attempt to do, the more I achieve and the confidence then follows.

  • By Saskia, June 29, 2010 @ 1:00 pm

    @Charvie you’ve sure done enough of it recently so stop being a hypocrite and working it to your advantage :)

  • By Saskia, June 29, 2010 @ 1:08 pm

    :)

  • By carol4spot, June 29, 2010 @ 1:09 pm

    Say It With Love lyrics by the Moody Blues

    I’ve been thinking
    The way people do
    ‘Bout the things that matter
    To me and you
    I’ve decided
    To do what I can
    And to find the kind of man
    I really am
    I can see the world from here
    And it sometimes makes me
    Want to disappear
    Back to nature
    That’s where we belong
    And with just one truth I’ve found
    You can’t go wrong
    Wherever you go
    Whatever you do
    Whatever you say
    Say, say, say
    Say it with love.

    I remember
    A long time ago
    When I heard those guitars
    That I worship so
    I was captured
    I wanted to stay
    And to hear that kind of music
    Everyday
    Heard the songs
    Around the world
    Saw the smiling faces
    On the boys and girls
    I was destined
    To play come what may
    And there’s just one thing
    I knew I had to say
    Wherever you go
    Whatever you do
    Whatever you say
    Say, say, say
    Say it with love.

    Underneath
    A sea of doubt
    There’s a million voices shouting
    Let me out, let me out
    When we go
    We never return
    ‘Cos there’s just one lesson
    That we got to learn
    Wherever you go
    Whatever you do
    Whatever you say
    Say, say, say
    Say it with love
    Say it with love
    Say it with love
    Say it with love
    Say it with love.

    @sarah,
    “Carol, I do agree with that, although there are always exceptions. A minority of people find it almost impossible to love or to be kind. However, I believe that the old saying; ‘misery breeds company’ is very true.”

    Sarah, yeah, but the key word is ‘minority’.
    xoxocarol

  • By carol4spot, June 29, 2010 @ 1:25 pm

    Chavie,
    This was not politics. Was speaking about what sarah said and it was about love and kindness. No offense meant to anyone. Sorry if you misunderstood me. xocarol

  • By Sarah Levy, June 29, 2010 @ 2:01 pm

    ‘Sarah, yeah, but the key word is ‘minority’.’
    Indeed and for that I am very grateful! :-)

    Knowing that somebody loves us unconditionally is a wonderful feeling. It can give us the confidence to be who we really are.

  • By carol4spot, June 29, 2010 @ 2:29 pm

    Definition of banter
    n.
    Good-humored, playful conversation.

    Pam, maybe this is the wrong word to use. I think maybe bickering is more like it. Unless, ofcourse, you mean banter. I don’t know. Banter seems like a fun way to exchange thoughts sometimes. Bickering, definitely not fun. xocarol Just want to understand proper etiquette here. Make sure I’m ok, ya know?

  • By Christine, June 29, 2010 @ 4:36 pm

    Its 1.30 am here and yes I’m still up!!. Its a new day you know someone once told me that we can make a new start every morning, if we need to. Love?. Yes, I think we all do need love. It can be something as simple as a ‘hello’ a handshake, or your neighbour caring enough to ask how you are doing. Hope all is well over there.
    With love,
    Christine xx

  • By kroselynn, June 29, 2010 @ 9:15 pm

    ““Not being good enough’….ahh…I think that is a fear shared by many..I know it is, tbs, a root fear of mine too, despite my sincere heartfelt efforts at being all I can be for others and making a difference somehow, no matter how small! I study a lot and work on a lot about myself…and really, it’s a lifelong process, and trust me, I learn a lot about myself every day! “ PM
    Yes, I am constantly working on myself too. But it’s just a feeling inside me that I will somehow be alone if I fail at being ‘good.’ Not that I think my family is just going to up and leave me, mind. It’s just the fear that they would if I screwed up bad enough.
    My question is, how do I use that fear?
    I’m good at several things; drawing (pencil portraits), knit, crochet, customer service, medical assisting, typing, cooking (I’m a fantastic cook, I amaze myself a lot) taking care of my nieces and nephews when I’m asked to, etc. I’m a fantastic listener; people seek me out to listen to them, knowing that I won’t judge them or their feelings. I have quite a few friends but only 3 BEST friends, one of whom lives a half a world away from me.
    It takes a lot of work to keep a friendship! A lot of work! Mr. Glaser and Mr. Soul’s friendship is an inspiration for me. I love those three ladies and I always tell/show them as much as I can. Just like we get to see Paul and David do once in a blue moon especially if one surprises the other on a TV show and they haven’t seen each other in a while. I love that hug they give each other, it makes my eyes well up.
    I’ve recently started to study Spanish. Why? Well we’ve always had immigrant workers in this area during the harvest times, and being in the medical field, it’s always helpful to know another language, but I never felt it was necessary so I never made the effort until….until I heard David Soul sing Tomorrow Child in Spanish. I know the song well enough to know what he was saying, but I didn’t understand the individual words. So I made it a goal to learn Spanish. I want to listen to that song, and understand what he’s saying, not just know what he’s saying because I have it memorized in English. Is that silly? Probably. But, it’s something else I’m working on about myself.
    Sure I’ve had disappointments in my life. A lot of them. I won’t bore anyone with details but yeah, just like everyone else, I have minor and major disappointments, in myself and in others around me. Things that I’ve tried and failed at and things that I tried and succeeded at, only to fail later on. And things that are really an accomplish and it stays an accomplishment, even if that accomplishment does me no good whatsoever. Example, getting a GPA of 3.72 for my Associates of Science in Medical Assisting and my experience in several medical offices seems to mean nothing to potential employers. ???
    So even that accomplishment seems like a big disappointment for me.
    But I still get to pay the student loans. Yippee!

    “Kroselynn, you also ask “Maybe I’m not giving those around me enough credit.” and really, it’s maybe that you’re not giving yourself enough credit?” PM
    That’s interesting, something to think about: Maybe I’m not giving myself enough credit.

    “I know for me, though, I am very, very fortunate to have the most loving family..and a lot of them, lol. I can’t imagine that you’re family would ever ‘forget you’, Kroselynn! Most Family bonds are strong…” PM
    That’s good to know, Pam, that you’re family is such. It seems to be a rarity anymore when all you hear about is broken homes, divorces, and dysfunctional families.
    My family is and has always been very functional and loving and supportive. We’re there for each other, we support each other, we help each other out with different things, we spend time together, and we all get along. My friends, especially my three best, are very loving and supportive and really fun. It’s all of that that I’m afraid of losing I suppose.
    “I don’t think that this feeling..fear..is something that you choose to have or choose to be….. and even when you have a friend that you know experiences this, and you are there for them 24/7..sometimes…it is not enough for them…” PM
    Maybe it is a choice. I mean, there is no good reason why I have this fear, as I said above about my family, there is no reason why they would leave me alone. So is it a choice I make to have that fear? And do I make that choice to have that fear in order to make myself be good, best, better all the time to insure that they never will?
    It’s hard to imagine that even love isn’t enough sometimes for some individuals. But I know it’s not sometimes. Is it because that fear of being alone just won’t go away?
    I hope I never get to that point. I’d hate to put my people (read: family and friends) through that. I ask myself where I would be without them….then I think about what it would be like to actually be without them…not in death, that is a whole separate thing, but if they just didn’t want anything to do with me anymore because of something I did or didn’t do or whatever reason….then the fear comes.
    I know I’m good enough. I know I’m a valuable member of my family and community, I know I have a lot to offer, and a lot of talent to share. I know all of these things. But the fear is still there. How do I use it? I think this is one of the things Paul is trying to teach us, isn’t it.
    Pam, thank you so much for your comments. You’ve opened up a few avenues for me to start thinking about. Please if you have any more comments, I’d love to hear them.

    “Kroselyn “Maybe that’s my root fear. Being alone. It kind of has me concerned that your family would just abandon you. Do they not appreciate you?” C4S
    That isn’t what I meant; I meant that I have a fear that they would. But I appreciate the expression of concern on your part. Thank you for that.
    “…giving love attracts love.” C4S
    Yes, it does. I agree. For the most part that is the case with me. However, there are different kinds of love and one has to be careful. However, it’s sad that one has to be careful in the first place, isn’t it? There are those out there who only want to hurt others.

    Carol, again thank you for showing your concern for something I said, it makes me feel good that you would speak up about something you think is just wrong.

    “Kroselyn. Are you afraid that if you mess up, your family will abandon you? I hope that wouldn’t be the case.” SarahL
    Yes, that is my fear. And I sincerely hope that will never be the case either.
    I need to, I suppose, figure out how to use that fear. Or maybe I’m already doing it without knowing it. Is it my desire to be ‘good’ the method of using my fear? I don’t know.
    “Sometimes, we need to take a leap of faith. We might mess up, we might not. I do understand how hard it is to build up one’s confidence. For me, I have found that the more things I attempt to do, the more I achieve and the confidence then follows.” SarahL
    That’s just a good paragraph.
    As I’ve said to Pam, I do take leaps of faith once in a while. I accomplish a lot, and I fail a lot. But, Hell if I never try, that’s worse than failing. How will I ever know if I can do a thing if I never try? I know all these things, yet that fear remains. Is it supposed to be there? Is it normal to have that fear? And if so, how do I use it?

    Thank you as well Sarah for jumping in and commenting to my post. I appreciate the time you took to relay that information to me.

  • By Rachelle, June 29, 2010 @ 10:17 pm

    Christine – You’re so right and I’m so grateful that every day is a new beginning and a chance to start over or to make changes. It’s never too late! :)

    Kroselynn – Agreed friendship does take work and I’m blessed to have a wonderful best friend that I’ve known for 12 years. We’re sisters for sure!

    Pam – For myself taking life one day a time, prayer, going for walks, reading a good book, thinking positive are some ways to enjoy life more. My thoughts anyway!

    Rach

  • By Christine, June 30, 2010 @ 5:40 am

    Hi Kroselynn, You seem to be a really talented lady. I agree with you about Paul and David, their friendship is beautiful. Looking back on it its also that special chemistry they had that made ‘Starsky and Hutch’. Most people would love to have a frienship as good as they had. Like you, I have friends but only a couple of really close friends we stand by one another no matter what, but at the same time they will be the first to say if they think I’m wrong. There is a honesty between us that is never meant in a negative way, just basic honesty. You know the kind of friend who takes a look at you first thing in the morning when my hair is standing on end, and doesn’t bat an eyelid lol.
    My friends are my family. Apart from my daughter, I don’t have family so I love my friends to bits instead.
    You know you were talking about learning Spanish? so you could ‘know’ and not just remember David Soul’s song? only last week I was talking about an Italian singer I had heard, I’m actually listening to him right now, I haven’t a clue what hes singing other than the fact this man does a brilliant ballad, so I can understand where you are coming from. Silly thing is I can now sing it in Italian but don’t know what I’m singing lol. I worry about myself sometimes lol. Some songs just stay in the mind,
    like yesterday I listened to Andy williams ‘Solitaire’ so many times it was going through my mind all night.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

    Hi Rach, Thanks my friend. Nice to see you here. Hope you are well. xx

  • By kroselynn, June 30, 2010 @ 9:16 am

    Rachel and Christine,
    Those are the best kind of relationships, but those are the ones that are rare, they don’t come around enough, so we must hold on to the ones we do get.
    I know Paul and David have spoken about their relationship to a certain extent, and that’s great.
    Let me tell you, when they let us ‘in’ once in a while to their love and respect and consideration of each other, I relish every second of it. It is a beautiful thing. All those people who think there is “more” to it than that are just ignorant to what it really is….although none of us besides Paul and David know what it REALLY is. But those of us who respect them both have a pretty good idea about it, I think.
    And people have said before how much they long for a friendship such as theirs, but truthfully they had to work very hard at it! Neither one of them probably consider it work though. :)
    True they knew each other before S&H and true they became instant friends when they came together on S&H, but that’s not where it ended. During S&H it bonded and cemented their friendship, they did spend a lot of time together. All these years since, they both had to work at keeping it, even when there were long periods of time when they didn’t see or talk to each other for various reasons. One of them is in the US and one is in the UK along with each of their careers taking them in different directions. Yet, you’ll hear David say occasionally “Yes, we’re still in contact. As a matter of fact, he’s still my best friend.” And Paul has said similar things.
    So, people who long for that kind of friendship have to work on it as hard as David and Paul have.
    That’s probably part of my fear that I will lose my friendships that I’ve worked so hard at keeping.
    I just love all my People (friends and family) so much, you know? The thought of, or rather the fear of, losing what I worked so hard to gain and maintain is painful for me. Is that being selfish?

  • By Rachelle, June 30, 2010 @ 12:09 pm

    Kroselynn and Christine – I agree with you that best friendship is such a rare gift. We can be ourselves with our Bffs and they still love us.*g* That’s pretty special! I’m of course speaking from personal experience and I met my best friend when we worked together 12 years ago. I also agree that Paul and David’s best friendship is very special and it seems very private. I have to respect that. I’m sure many people would pay to see them work together again. Jack Klugman and Tony Randall were best friends who worked together on stage years after their T.V. show ended to the delight of their fans. It’s a lovely bond that is awesome to watch when it works.

    It’s not selfish to treasure relationships with our family and closest friend. It is a real fear because if they weren’t a part of us then there would be an empty place. It’s a great reminder to love those who are closest to us and really appreciate them. Life is a gift and so are the people who are in our lives. My thoughts.*g*

  • By hilly, June 30, 2010 @ 10:40 pm

    friendship – true friendship transcends all kinds of things. a couple of years ago I ‘picked up where we had left off’ with an old friend …we hadn’t seen each other since we were 15 (and that makes “old” in both senses of the word LOL). It was as if we hadn’t met up for maybe a year or so. we’ll be seeing each other at least once a year now

  • By PamT, July 1, 2010 @ 3:49 am

    “What are (is) an example of your ‘root presence of your fear’ and how are you working on it or have you over come it and used it to empower yourself?”

    PamM, that’s an interesting question. My underlying core fear for many years has been the prospect of mortality (or, rather, as reading here finally made me realise, my mind’s struggle over its powerlessness to be able to ‘fix this one’). I’m beginning to find a small but growing feeling of peaceful acceptance towards the eventual loss of what I have, thus far, been accustomed to defining as my ‘identity’. Whereas I would once have responded with a resounding ‘No!’ on the question of whether anything of ‘me’, aside from residual energy, remains after physical death, but I’m now more of a ‘I don’t know’ and I’ll see where that takes me.

    “Fear of being wrong…of not knowing…fear of being unable to trust your heart, your senses, your experience of your existence which tells you what you KNOW with your being, not what you think/believe you know in your mind.”

    I’ve not really recognised it as such before, but PMG’s above words did highlight another concern I have. Namely, that over time I might indeed have ‘un-learned’ much of my innate ability to have confidence (or faith) in my own instincts, feelings and experiences – instead perhaps taking a disproportionate refuge in what can be ‘proved’ or ‘disproved’ by our current methods of evaluation (I say ‘disproportionate’ because I am still of the opinion that a balanced sense of reasoning can be positive; essential even in certain circumstances). Then I started to wonder why this disconnection should have arisen in the first place.

    I began to think about our world when we first enter this life and whether our parents (or carers) constitute the ‘gods’ of our immediate universe. If we’re fortunate, they more or less look after our every need. As far as we’re concerned, they can ‘fix’ anything and everything. And, as we grow, sooner or later we experience the dawning realisation that they are not, in fact, in control of it all. Then, a little further down the line, we also discover that they actually aren’t infallible either. And perhaps still further on, we come to terms with the notion that their identity is not simply ‘Mum’ and/or ‘Dad’, but that they are individuals in their own rights – in other words, human beings complete with attributes and flaws to a lesser or greater extent, just as we all are – and are not actually the ‘gods’ which we might once have thought them to be (albeit that we were perhaps very young at the time). So, our first ‘trust’ in our interpretation of experience takes a knock – and don’t even get me started on Father Christmas!;-)

    Then, during our childhood and adolescent years, we read stories and watch TV/films that have little or no basis in reality, without yet having had the experience to identify them as fantasies (albeit maybe fantasies with underlying moral messages mostly pertaining to the society in which we find ourselves). I was convinced that Paddington Bear did indeed live happily somewhere in London with the Brown family. I fell hook, line and sinker for the fairy stories where the ‘bad’ were defeated, while the ‘good’ emerged triumphant to ‘live happily ever after’. Much later down the line, I believed that the subsequently discredited Erik Von Daniken had solid evidence for the premise that beings from other planetary systems had visited earth and were the basis of our ‘gods’ (and argued passionately for it at the time). And so on and so forth …. until the mind eventually says ‘You know what? Even it feels right at the time, perhaps if you don’t ‘buy into’ anything, then you won’t suffer from any disillusionment’ and the construction of walls begins. Please don’t get me wrong; I’m not suggesting that everyone experiences this process or indeed reacts in the same way. This is very much a personal reflection.

    In terms of ‘working on it’, I continue to be drawn to life philosophies which eschew dogmatism and any stipulation that you must ‘believe’. Although I doubt I will ever become a paid-up ‘member’ of a community (partially because I’m uncomfortable with ritualistic and ceremonial aspects), I find many aspects of Buddhist teachings on existence and life’s vicissitudes attractive. Why? Simply because from the most tentative and limited dipping of toe into water, I’ve felt I’ve discovered some small degree of previously elusive clarity. So for me, it’s a case of the ‘proof of the pudding being in the eating’ and my process of ongoing learning is to allow myself to ‘taste’ the experience for what it is and whatever it may be (to me).

    PamT

  • By Sarah Levy, July 1, 2010 @ 5:22 am

    Pam,

    That’s such a wonderful post. I found myself nodding in agreement with so many of the points you made. One point, which I had never thought about before, was the one about our parents. It’s so true that as we grow from a baby to an older child, we discover that our parents aren’t perfect and aren’t able to live forever. It’s scary when that fact dawns on us.

    As a parent myself, I realise that I tried to shield my children from the realities of life for as long as possible. For most of us, coping with the harshness of life is with us for a long time, so I believe that most parents want their children to enjoy living a carefree life for as long as possible.

    Best Wishes,
    Sarah

  • By Christine, July 1, 2010 @ 6:59 am

    Hi Sarah, I couldn’t agree with you more. As parents we try to protect our children. Its a tough life in the big wide world not just for our children at times. However I would do anything to protect my daughter. Over protective maybe but together with my friends they make my world. :) xx

  • By PamT, July 1, 2010 @ 10:10 am

    Hi Sarah

    Thanks for the kind words. Yes, I can see that it’s natural for loving parents to want to protect their children and give them the best childhood possible.

    PamT

  • By hilly, July 1, 2010 @ 11:25 am

    I find many aspects of Buddhist teachings on existence and life’s vicissitudes attractive. Why? Simply because from the most tentative and limited dipping of toe into water, I’ve felt I’ve discovered some small degree of previously elusive clarity.

    Pam; you have summed up what for me is the attraction of Buddhism. It does not demand rituals to prove your ‘faith’ (although it does provide rituals to help us to concentrate on our tentative steps along the path); it seeks to help us find rather than to tell us what is ; it doesn’t condemn faltering and encourages questioning. All of which helps to get a hold on that elusive clarity.

    All that went on here recently would once have elicited hot tempered and sharp responses from me…so now all my friends here, the ones who really know me…and ;) a few others who may no longer feel inclined to be my friends because of that temper! – are probably still trying to work out what’s happened to me. I guess I’ve managed to take that long- elusive next step along the path – the right path maybe – and have learnt to step back and let others destroy themselves and do me no harm. Because whatever they think they have done – if I’m not hurt it didn’t work.
    “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words can never hurt me”. I wouldn’t say that will always be the case but this time I learnt to throw the stones and stick back into the pool and watch the ripples fade away to nothingness.

    I recommend it to those others who were singled out for the attacks.

  • By Christine, July 1, 2010 @ 12:40 pm

    Hey Hilly, Nice to see you back. No offence meant here my friend but do you think we get calmer as we age? or less patient?. If you reach that calmness say when you hit your 60′s for example (I’m not saying this to you personally, Hilly lol you are younger than that)
    ;) but, roll on my 60′s if that’s the case!!!.
    Love,
    Christine.

  • By Sue, July 1, 2010 @ 2:33 pm

    Chavie:

    I didn’t respond to your response to me on the topic of fear because you edited your first response from one sentence to a long post actually addressing my response.

    I had the chance to look back over it, and I will still state that although I’m not standing in your shoes, I do believe that fear was still the motivating factor in those actions you describe–if not for you, then at least for the people who knew that this gathering was far more than a simple street party.

    You stated you stopped the tanks with love (and flowers and charm), but why stop the tanks in the first place? Because of the fear that if it wasn’t done, they would crush out life that was loved. Love might have been the method used to win the battle, but fear, good, healthy, life-sustaining fear, caused the action to start in the first place.

    If there was no fear that tanks would do “evil”, then there would be absolutely no reason in the world to stop them, unless you just felt like stopping a bunch of tanks for kicks because you didn’t have anything better to do that day.

    There’s nothing wrong with fear. It’s a good, strong, solid emotion that will often get us moving more than anything else will. Fear can paralyze, and fear can motivate. Fear can cause a complete stranger to stop his car and pull a woman out of her burning car before it explodes. Fear can also make that same stranger pass on by. It all depends on what he fears more–his own life or the life of a stranger who might die if he doesn’t put his life at risk to help.

    Love comes neatly packaged with fear. If you don’t love, you have no need to fear the masked stranger in your house. If you don’t fear for their lives, for your own, there’s no need to pull the trigger. You fear for them BECAUSE you love them and you don’t want them gone from your life if there’s anything you can do to stop it.

    You’re right that children *learn* to fear. They also learn to *love*. And they learn that with love comes fear…the fear of loss of that love. Fear is a healthy thing that gives us cause to protect those we love.

    Fear can also be overwhelming, overriding every other emotion in the book, including love. The trick is to learn to use fear as a tool and not to let it use you. That’s one of the hardest things to learn, but once it’s learned, fear can be the best friend you’ll ever have.

    As for the rest of your post, I’m lacking in knowledge, or the desire to attain it, of what’s going on outside of this blog vis a vis this blog being discussed elsewhere. And that’s perfectly fine with me.

    I may be old-ish, but I’m not dumb.

    Peace out.

    Sue

  • By Sue, July 1, 2010 @ 4:41 pm

    @Pam M:

    Thanks. It just makes logical sense. If you have nothing, then you have nothing to lose. Love is that one thing that many, maybe even most, fear to lose the most. We’re selfish that way, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Like I said, it keeps us fighting for that love, fighting to prevent its being extinguished.

    Unfortunately, it can keep us fighting well past the losing of the war. In my job as a NICU nurse, I’ve seen literally hundreds of horribly suffering newborns kept alive by artifical means when death would be the greatest kindness to bestow upon them…because of the love their parents have for them. Because of their fear of the loss of that love, among other things (like the loss of genetic immortality and the like).

    Love doesn’t conquer fear, it compliments it, like your favorite condiment compliments your burger. It pushes you to do things that you might otherwise let slide by out of disinterest.

    Sue

  • By carol4spot, July 1, 2010 @ 5:28 pm

    @Sue
    “Fear can cause a complete stranger to stop his car and pull a woman out of her burning
    car before it explodes. Fear can also make that same stranger pass on by.”

    Sue, that was a very interesting comment. So true.

    @PamT
    “My underlying core fear for many years has been the prospect of mortality (or, rather, as reading here finally made me realise, my mind’s struggle over its powerlessness to be able to ‘fix this one’).”

    First of all, I read your post this morning before I went to work and it just stayed in my head all day. Very interesting. Thank you. It was definitely thought provoking.

    When it comes to fear of dying, I would have to say that my fear isn’t so much me dying but more fear for what it would do to, let’s say, my mom. If it was just me, alone in the world with no attatchments I have to believe dying or powerlessness over dying wouldn’t be such a fearful thought.
    When it comes to someone else dying, like my father, my fear is more for the fact that he is dying miserably and he just didn’t seem to have any joy in life. It seems like it’s too late for him to get ‘enlightened’ and have some sense of joy.
    My ‘fear’ over him dying is perhaps I will have guilt that I could have done something to make him happier. Death is inescapable but I think people seem to be more ‘afraid’ of living.
    xoarol

  • By Sue, July 1, 2010 @ 6:46 pm

    @Carol

    Thanks. And I don’t mean to say that we all live our lives in fear, because I don’t think that at all. Most of the time, we go around loving, or hating, talking or arguing, doing whatever we do for whatever reasons we do it.

    But when we are motivated to do something that takes us beyond the shell of our individual selves, fear is often the motivating factor, even if it’s totally “instinctual” or instantaneous. We might not even really think about it, but it’s there, often guiding our actions.

    Many religions use it. Why is there even a Christian (for example) concept of Hell? To make us fear doing what our god tells us is wrong. It’s there for no other purpose than fear. Many Christians who evangelize to it out of fear that if they don’t reach person A, person A will go to Hell, and they don’t want that to happen. It’s a very motivating factor in all things.

    Sue

  • By carol4spot, July 1, 2010 @ 7:31 pm

    PamT: ““My underlying core fear for many years has been the prospect of mortality (or, rather, as reading here finally made me realise, my mind’s struggle over its powerlessness to be able to ‘fix this one’).”
    It’s true for me that I don’t fear me dying..I’d be gone. When I am running a long run and my endorphins are pumping through me I almost don’t care if I drop dead. It’s sort of exciting, the thought of it. Maybe because when I am running it eliminates all my fears or something. I haven’t quite figured it out yet. I do know that I feel ‘best’ all around when running. Don’t get me wrong, I do want to live ofcourse. If I could continuously run life would be ‘fearless’ and invigorating. Obviously one can’t run every minute of the day but I would certainly like to be able to duplicate the ‘perfect sensation of life’ while running without having to run. xocarol

  • By Christine, July 2, 2010 @ 3:45 pm

    I have to agree with you Pam. I also don’t fear death at least not for myself. I don’t know maybe its kind of like when you go into a coma and lose 2 weeks of your life. Obviously until you start to come around you are kind of in a state of being totally unaware of anything….maybe this is what its like at the end, we are just not aware. Or you know when you go to sleep at night and in effect lose those hours? that’s if you don’t spend the night dreaming or having nightmares of course!.

    I do however worry about losing those around me. Even sometimes wondering just how I would go on without certain people. I have to say it really scares me. On this rather depressing note, I am off to bed. Goodnight :) xx

  • By kroselynn, July 2, 2010 @ 10:47 pm

    Hmmm, I’ve been thinking about the comments about the fact that a few of you don’t fear death for yourself, but you fear the death of those you love….

    Are you scared for them?
    Or are you scared for you?

    If you’re scared for them, is it because you’re afraid they won’t be in Heaven (Or whatever name you choose to give that place)? Or that you won’t be in Heaven? (Hmmm, my questions are assuming you agree there is a Heaven, paradise, eden etc…..I don’t mind being corrected.)

    If you’re scared for you? Is it because you don’t want to feel the ‘loss?’ And if so, is that a fear of abandonment? Where someone you love ‘leaves’ (read: dies) and you are left behind to continue to pluck along here on Earth?

    I hope I don’t sound argumentative, that is not my intent. I just have these questions that will hopefully clarify more clearly what you mean.

    If you wish, and if it’ easier to type out, anyone can call me Krystal, that is my real name. I’ll still answer to both though. :o )

  • By hilly, July 2, 2010 @ 11:31 pm

    “Are you scared for them?
    Or are you scared for you?”

    that is a very good question Krystal.
    I suppose if I have to confront the thought of someone close to me dying it is my mum. (Although at 80 she is still going strong but all those little ‘old age’ things are beginning to slow her down). I would be scared for her if I thought her end was likely to be painful or unnecessarily long drawn out (we don’t really have the right to a Living Will here in France and I wouldn’t want her to be left to die of dehydration which is what happens when a hospital (anywhere in the world) applies the ‘no treatment’ request! I would hope that there was a Dr honest enough to prescribe a morphine pump that makes it possible for someone to really dies with dignity – no pain just a regular reduction of resistance to the dose until the final one does the job too many Drs are too cowardly(rapacious?) to allow openly.

    Scared for me…I’m going to have to face life without her. I’m going to have to deal with all that is left behind….and no-one looks forward to that.

    “(Or whatever name you choose to give that place)? Or that you won’t be in Heaven? (Hmmm, my questions are assuming you agree there is a Heaven, paradise, eden etc…..I don’t mind being corrected.)”
    My personal attitude: Heaven is where our soul finally comes to rest accompanied by others it feel happy with. **
    mine will be warm (maybe hot) and in the company of my friends and family. As far as I’m concerned Hell is freezing cold and people with the self righteous the dishonest and the cruel!
    TBH I’ve always had a soft spot for the Beelzebub of popular mythology – I wouldn’t mind spending eternity with him in a good mood!

    **and that raises an interesting thought. If my “heaven” turns out to include ‘x’ would ‘x’ also be in his/her personal heaven with or without me? ….hmmmmmmm

  • By marly, July 3, 2010 @ 3:27 am

    Just like the rest of us I’m trying to cope with the anger that lives inside of me.
    It takes up a lot of my energy and I’m trying to figure out how to deal with it.
    It´s not (yet) always easy to admit that my anger is not a `thing´ outside of me inflicted by others. Anger is part of myself, a part I am only able to acknowledge if I allow myself to see that it stems from a lifetime of wrong perceptions.
    It´s like Thich Nhat Hanh advises”:….go back and inspect very deeply the content, the nature of your perceptions….”
    I find this to be a very painful process, it’s a bit like trying to admit to yourself you actually do need those glasses in order to see what is, instead of continuing to bump into those perceptions and keep on hurting yourself( ánd others for that matter).
    Even though it might take a while before I’ll be able to identify my anger for what it is on a day to day bases, I’m growing more aware of its roots.

    “When you say something unkind, when you
    do something in retaliation, your anger increases.
    You make the other person suffer, and they try hard
    to say or do something back to make you suffer,
    and get relief from their suffering. That is
    how conflict escalates.”
    “Just like our organs, our anger is part of us.
    When we are angry, we have to go back to ourselves
    and take good care of our anger. We cannot say,
    ‘Go away, anger, I don’t want you.’ When you have
    a stomachache, you don’t say, ‘I don’t want you
    stomach, go away.’ No, you take care of it.
    In the same way, we have to embrace and
    take good care of our anger.”
    “When we embrace anger and take good care of
    our anger, we obtain relief. We can look deeply into
    it and gain many insights. One of the first insights
    may be that the seed of anger in us has grown too
    big, and is the main cause of our misery. As we
    begin to see this reality, we realize that the other
    person, whom our anger is directed at, is only
    a secondary cause. The other person is
    not the real cause of our anger”
    “In a time of anger or despair, even if we feel
    overwhelmed, our love is still there. Our capacity to
    communicate, to forgive, to be compassionate is
    still there. You have to believe this. We are more
    than our anger, we are more than our suffering.
    We must recognize that we do have within
    us the capacity to love, to understand,
    to be compassionate, always.”
    “When you are angry, and you suffer, please go
    back and inspect very deeply the content, the nature
    of your perceptions. If you are capable of removing
    the wrong perception, peace and happiness will
    be restored in you, and you will be able to
    love the other person again”
    From the book:”Taming The Tiger Within”, by Thich Nhat Hanh

    Just sharing,

    With love,
    Marly

  • By Frances, July 3, 2010 @ 4:38 am

    Marly,
    as always a great post,and love your quote,

    “we realize that the other
    person, whom our anger is directed at, is only
    a secondary cause. The other person is
    not the real cause of our anger”

    That is so true, a couple of years ago I was carrying around so much anger towards people in my family for what I thought were genuine legitimate reasons, until I went to confidence building classes after being diagnosed as Visually impaired in my middle 40′s. I was struggling a little bit to come to terms with it, although I am still independent, I have to say my world was turned on its head, (anyway to get back to my point!,) the subject of anger came up and as the class were discussing the topic I mentioned that no matter how hard I tried I could not come to terms with the anger that I had towards these people, but knew that I was angry on someone else’s behalf, and therefore I was powerless to express my opinion on the situation, so in a way it was almost like being tied up in a straight jacket and not being able to move foreword. Thankfully the facilitator of the course explained to me about how I had sub consciously remembered something in my past that had never been resolved, and this situation had brought all the feelings to the surface for me to confront and deal with, and I must say the remarkable thing was how soon the anger disappeared once I started dealing with the old problem,it amazed me how the brain has all these little box’s were we think we have all our resolved issues, but low and behold a few years later a completely on-related issue arises and all the old feelings come floating to the top demanding to be dealt with. I will always be great full to that person in the group for explaining things to me, as from that day on I looked at my life in a completely different way and have to say even though I do have my off days (how hasn’t?) my life has been made a lot richer and I am at last content in my little corner of the world. So thanks again Marley for reminding me how thankful I should be!

  • By Frances, July 3, 2010 @ 4:42 am

    Sorry for the spelling mistake,of course its who NOT how!!

  • By carol4spot, July 3, 2010 @ 5:47 am

    Kroselyn,

    “Hmmm, I’ve been thinking about the comments about the fact that a few of you don’t

    fear death for yourself, but you fear the death of those you love….”

    I have to say, that I don’t fear the death of those I love I more fear the ‘life’ of

    those I love. I think that if you are a fulfilled person and are truly enjoying life then you

    wouldn’t be afraid to die. I feel like the ‘life’ my father has lived was not fulfilling. I feel

    like he’s dying (young, I might add) with ‘regrets’ and that’s whats scary. My mom is

    another one. She is so worried about dying and us kids dying that she’s not enjoying

    living. She thinks I’m going to get hit by a car running. I told her if I did in fact get hit by

    a car and died that she should know that I died happy and that I enjoyed my life totally.

    Even the bad times. Everything happens for a reason.
    So, how do you tell the one’s you love to chill out and enjoy life? Embrace it

    for whatever it throws at you.
    Good, bad or ugly,it’s called ‘life’. I believe once you

    accept that life is what it is and it ain’t that perfect picture you’ve painted on what it

    ‘should’ be, then you can start ‘living’ and stop ‘fearing’ dying. xocarol

  • By carol4spot, July 3, 2010 @ 6:04 am

    @Marly,

    It’s always a pleasure to read your post…thanks

    “In a time of anger or despair, even if we feel
    overwhelmed, our love is still there. Our capacity to
    communicate, to forgive, to be compassionate is
    still there. You have to believe this. We are more
    than our anger, we are more than our suffering.
    We must recognize that we do have within
    us the capacity to love, to understand,
    to be compassionate, always.”

    This is so true. I think we all have definitely had our ‘anger’ moments. Thankfully our love and compassion are powerful enough to override them…most of the time. I’d like to check out this book. Thanks for the sample..xocarol

  • By marly, July 3, 2010 @ 6:17 am

    Hi Frances,
    Thank you so much for sharing your insightful experiences on the subject of dealing with anger!

    “..…it amazed me how the brain has all these little box’s were we think we have all our resolved issues, but low and behold a few years later a completely on-related issue arises and all the old feelings come floating to the top demanding to be dealt with.”

    That really sums it all up, doesn’t it?
    Our mind often succeeds in resolving painful issues in what seems to be an effective way at the time by projecting the cause of our anger outside ourselves: “he/she is to blame for my pain….”instead of really dealing with the underlying issues.
    But that deeply hidden pain flares up and sets fire to our anger again and again as long as we let that happen and as long as we continue to seek our refuge by repeating our old defense methods.
    If we decide to reflect on ourselves, see our anger for what it really is and deal with it, we can move on instead of letting our anger get the best of us.

    Frances, it’s good and uplifting to read your story and I thank YOU for sharing and for giving me/us a little peak into your world!

    Have a nice weekend,

    Love,
    Marly

  • By marly, July 3, 2010 @ 6:28 am

    Hi Carol,
    Thanks for your reply!

    Thich Nhat Hanh has written several books and also a lot of poetry.
    I’ve only “discovered”him recently but I find this man and his teachings really inspiring.
    Here’s a link to youtube:

    Enjoy!

    Love,
    Marly

  • By PamT, July 3, 2010 @ 10:20 am

    So many interesting posts along a few different (but interconnecting?) avenues. I’d have liked to have commented on almost every one, but I’m going to cherry-pick a little.

    Carol: feeling ‘fearless’ when you’re running sounds as if it makes sense. Don’t endorphins bring about a naturally-induced ‘high’ into the brain?

    “I think that if you are a fulfilled person and are truly enjoying life then you wouldn’t be afraid to die.”

    That’s an interesting perspective. I may not be the best person to ‘call it’, but I feel reasonably fulfilled and, like most people, enjoy many aspects of life, whilst finding others less pleasurable (depending upon what gets thrown at me). I think the ability to treat the pleasant and the not-so-pleasant with equanimity and without denial is desirable, albeit challenging in the extreme on occasion – and it is something that I work on. I’m not sure why my mind has experienced such difficulties dealing with the prospect of non-existence, whilst others apparently don’t. Perhaps it’s an indication of a sometime tendency towards introspection together with an over-robust ego! ;-)

    PamM and Christine: I find it interesting that you both seem to attribute your absence of fear to having previously experienced a state of coma or near death. A 90-year old relative recently told me that she can’t understand why anyone who has experienced a general anaesthetic should fear their own passing. I’d like to think that the advancing of years also brings an ‘automatic’ acceptance but, having witnessed something to the contrary, I know that’s not always the case.

    Sue: would it be fear that motivates a stranger to overcome their own fear and pull someone out of that burning car? Or would it be compassion? I’m not necessarily disagreeing here, just proposing an alternative.

    I agree with you that many organised religions use (or have used) fear of ‘hell’ as means of asserting control; along with the lure of ‘heaven’ – a kind of carrot and stick combo effect. I don’t think it’s limited to religion. In my opinion, the manipulation and channeling of fear by those in positions of power has always been an effective way to control the ‘masses’ by the creation, or building upon, of perceived threats – usually focused on those who are for some reason ‘different’ from the mainstream, whether it’s down to ethnicity, religion, sexual orientation, culture, ideology …. the list goes on. It’s that good old ‘us and them’ tribal thing again.

    On the subject of fear, a while ago, PMG wrote “When we can acknowledge our mind’s fear of helplessness, we can choose to see it from our conscious place and remind us of our capacity for love.” I must admit that I have struggled in fully getting to grips with the concept of how the experience of fear can open a pathway to love. I’ve recently begun to read ‘Conversations with God’ (I come to it without a belief in God, but it seems a remarkable book, nevertheless). Anyway, within it is the supposition that you are unable to ‘know’ an experience until you have felt the opposite; in other words, until there is something with which the experience can be compared. It reminded me of tales of individuals who have endured particularly harsh or deprived childhoods, but only recognised the fact retrospectively because, at the time, they knew no different. Or perhaps somebody who has always lived in consistently cold temperatures, but doesn’t recognise the feeling as ‘cold’ (rather, they just ‘are’), until they have experienced a more temperate climate and therefore have a ‘benchmark’ with which to make a comparison.

    I think a common perception is that the opposite of ‘love’ is ‘hate’. But I think PMG is onto something when he proposes, if I have understood him correctly, that fear lies at the root of hatred and anger. If we experience either of those emotions, isn’t it usually triggered by being on the receiving end of a physical/psychological assault (either by someone or simply as a result of life events); because we feel threatened – either for ourselves/on behalf of someone else; or because we feel that something on which we place value is ‘under attack’ (our ideology, our free will, our sense of justice/fair play, our perception of what’s ‘right’ and ‘wrong’, etc.)? All situations which involve fear and which are often outside our control. So perhaps we do need to experience and ‘know’ fear (in more than just a fight or flight sense) in order to be able to recognise, feel and ‘know’ its opposite; namely, love. Anyway, something I feel I need to give a more consideration to, but I thought I’d mention it as it seemed relevant to the discussion.

    Marly: Many thanks for posting that insightful extract concerning anger. I see from Amazon that Thich Nhat Hanh is quite a prolific author – I’ve just ordered one of his books.

    PamT

  • By Sue, July 3, 2010 @ 12:35 pm

    @PamT

    See, I see compassion springing out of empathy, and empathy springing out of our human ability to place ourselves in someone else’s shoes. And I say then that it does spring from fear. I may be using the word differently than others here, but I still see it springing from that.

    You see a woman in a burning car, your mind instantaneously races ahead to a possible conclusion and you fear for her life. So you weigh, again instantaneously, the fear for your life vs your fear for hers. And you decide which is more important.

    As far as fear in religions, yes, I posted several posts back about fear being used by politicians and every other group of people who want others to follow their way, and fast. Nothing gets us in line faster than fear. In any walk of our life.

  • By Frances, July 3, 2010 @ 12:36 pm

    Marly,
    Thanks for listening!

  • By carol4spot, July 3, 2010 @ 1:12 pm

    @PamT
    “I’m not sure why my mind has experienced such difficulties dealing with the prospect of non-existence, whilst others apparently don’t. Perhaps it’s an indication of a sometime tendency towards introspection together with an over-robust ego!”

    Pam, I guess my mind just thinks I am not that significant. I kind of look at it like , hey, billions of people have ‘done’ it before and it’s a natural ending…or maybe not an ending?…no one knows..but it’s natural nonetheless..

    “Remember whatever is not love is fear”… I wrote this down a while ago and forgot where it came from here. I think it was PMG in one of his shared thoughts, but if it wasn’t and it was a guest here, forgive me.

    Yeah, endorphins are a pretty good ‘drug’ and definitely take me psychologically and physically where I am most content. What’s weird and just dawned on me is when I am at that peaked runners high, and I am not afraid of dying, and I have no fears, does that mean I am truly ‘love’ ? xocarol
    @Sue,

    “You see a woman in a burning car, your mind instantaneously races ahead to a possible conclusion and you fear for her life. So you weigh, again instantaneously, the fear for your life vs your fear for hers. And you decide which is more important.”

    Sue, yeah, it separates people afraid of dying themselves from people who fear others dying like kroselyn said in a previous post. Maybe, though, they fear that perhaps the guilt of not having done/attempted a good deed to save someone else’s life would be more painful than risking their own life and having a chance of dying. I feel like I just confused myself. xocarol

  • By hilly, July 4, 2010 @ 2:25 am

    Sometimes we settle for the distraction of anger, hate, because we’re afraid to acknolwedge the root presence of our fear (underneath our anger, impatience…etc.).for fear that the fear will destroy us. But hey, didn’t we just say we were already ‘afraid’ to go there? Where? To ‘afraid.’ We’re already there! PMG

    just thought of something that this last sentence brought to mind.

    Why do we use that figure of speech ‘I’m afraid…” so often. Are we really in fear of what we are going to say? of the effect it might have? of the consequences? (and if so for whom – us or the listener?); the content of what we are going to say? the context?

    The difference between being in a state of fear – afraid – and the figure of speech of ‘I’m afraid’ can be enormous. Think of this usage.
    “Excuse me, are you the owner of this car?”
    “Yes, I’m afraid I am.”
    why…..

  • By Christine, July 4, 2010 @ 6:32 am

    Hi Paul, Pam and other Americans, Happy Independence Day to you all. Hope you have a good day. xx

  • By Christine, July 4, 2010 @ 7:06 am

    Hi Hilly, I have to agree with you there. Its like when we say ‘ terribly good’ or awfully nice? do you think its a Brit thing?. Its interesting how one word can mean something so different, depending on where you happen to be at that time. That’s before we even go into the slang words lol. So Hilly, if you were to ask me if I think the English language can be confusing my Geordie reply would be… ‘Wey aye man!!’ (Yes, I agree, to all who don’t understand us lol)

  • By Christine, July 4, 2010 @ 7:12 am

    Oh and I know this is off topic, but I think one of the best accents is the American one, although I know there are different accents within it. I quite like the Boston one; me biased? lol :) xx

  • By carol4spot, July 4, 2010 @ 7:51 am

    @ Hilly says,

    “Why do we use that figure of speech ‘I’m afraid…” so often. Are we really in fear of what we are going to say? of the effect it might have? of the consequences? (and if so for whom – us or the listener?); the content of what we are going to say? the context?”

    Unfortunately, I think people are ‘afraid’ to say something for fear of ‘judgment’. It’s too bad because there’s so many different perspectives out there that all have their own truths in them and we all can combine eachothers truths and come up with an interesting , united, ‘oneness’ if you will. Instead of seeing eachother as enemies, or opposites, or whatever, we should look at everyone’s points of view as completely valid and valuable to these unanswered questions of life and existence. xocarol

    Thanks for the kind words christine!!

    God only knows
    God makes his plan
    The information’s unavailable
    to the mortal man
    We work our jobs
    collect our pay
    Believe we’re gliding down the highway
    when in fact we’re slip slidin’ away….Paul Simon

  • By Rachelle, July 4, 2010 @ 8:49 am

    Happy 4th of July Paul, Pam and all American friends. Hope your day is awesome! Good day for friends, family and barbeques. :)

  • By hilly, July 4, 2010 @ 11:11 am

    Happy Fourth of July to you all.

    I think you are right Carol. but the figure of speech is an old one too. Christine could be onto something – it is a very Brit thing; preferable said with a stiff upper lip (making clear speech difficult tee hee).
    Yes Christine…the “Bahston” accent is a winner (with North Carolina and parts of Virginia coming up a close second for me)

  • By Christine, July 4, 2010 @ 11:33 am

    Hi Hilly, Oh my goodness I actually tried to say Boston as in your ‘ Bahston’ spelling Hilly even for me it sounded good lol. This ‘Brit’ so wanted to be American, not very patriotic but hey who cares lol. The football and tennis is finished now!!.

  • By Christine, July 4, 2010 @ 11:55 am

    Correction to myself, I know the world cup is still going what I meant was England is out!!.

  • By Frances, July 4, 2010 @ 4:34 pm

    Hi Folks, I was wondering if anyone out there can advise me on how to help a dear friend who is suffering with depression. She suffered with depression after the death of her first born but managed to pull through it. But just recently she mentioned that she felt it creeping up on her again, and sadly Shortly after our chat she lost her mother. She had not been in touch for a while and I was starting to worry, but thankfully she sent me a short text this weekend to say that she wants to see me. We have been friends for more years than I can remember, but for the first time I am unsure how to deal with this, and it’s really unsettling me.
    I know that all she will be looking for is someone to listen and I am there if and when she needs it, but I would appreciate it if anyone has any advice to pass on, on how to help a friend in this situation.

    Thanks,

    Frances.

  • By Sue, July 4, 2010 @ 5:32 pm

    Frances:

    It’s been my experience (personal and otherwise) that folks suffering from depression need to know that there is someone out there to simply talk to. The more depressed a person gets, many times, the more they withdraw. They more they withdraw, the more they are left in the dark with only their depression and depressive thoughts for company.

    Anyone still willing to reach out to you is someone you can try and help by simply offering her your willing ear, your open heart, and your strong shoulder.

    Don’t go in with pat answers. We often don’t need answers as much as we just need to share. Pat answers many times tell us that the person we’re talking to isn’t really listening to us (which we need the most) but rather just waiting till we take a break so they can throw a platitude at us.

    Just listen with an open heart to all she has to say. Offer her a shoulder to cry on or to lean on. Let her unburden herself of these useless thoughts. Share that burden with her.

    Often times, you’ll find that you don’t have to say a thing. Your presence and your willing heart and open ear is all that is needed.

    Beyond that, if while you’re listening to her, you really feel that she’s a danger to self or others, act immediately, even if you know she’ll be pissed at you for doing it. CAll someone and get her the help she needs.

    But if she’s not there, simply listen. That’s the best thing anyone can do in many situations of dealing with someone who is depressed.

    Good luck.

    Sue

  • By HILDA LIPRACE, July 4, 2010 @ 7:42 pm

    ¡¡¡ FELIZ DIA DE LA INDEPENDENCIA ¡¡ FELIZ 4 DE JULIO PARA TODOS ,DIOS LOS BENDIGA
    DESDE LO MAS PROFUNDO
    DE MI CORAZON

    HILDA(DE ARGENTINA )

  • By Terri, July 4, 2010 @ 8:03 pm

    Frances, I think Sue’s advice is very good. I’m saying this because of my own experiences. You are probably wondering what to do because you’ve been through this with her before and you felt it was resolved. Depression has a sneaky way of coming back to some of us when we least expect it. I know. It’s a step back but she needs you to listen again, and with your help and understanding she could get through it again. I once had a close friend say to me ‘it’s not when you get back to being yourself it’s just that you do’. She is a very good listener.

  • By Terri, July 4, 2010 @ 8:15 pm

    Hi Christine, Accents can be fun. A lot of us here in the states like the British accent and as you said just the opposite. When I was in the U.K. I met a very nice person who realized (in a store) that I was American and she asked me several questions just so she could ‘listen to me speak’. I was enjoying our conversation just as much. Terri

  • By Sarah Levy, July 5, 2010 @ 12:29 am

    Hi Frances,

    I’m so sorry to hear about your friend. It’s great that you are there for her. I’m sure that knowing she has you is a comfort to her.

    As someone who has suffered many times with depression, I would say that Terri and Sue have given you excellent advice. I’ll add to that advice by saying that it is also important for her to have a counselor or doctor who is sympathetic, helpful and will keep an eye on her condition.

    Take Care,
    Sarah

  • By Frances, July 5, 2010 @ 1:56 am

    Dear Sue, Terri,vice offered Sarah and Pam,
    Thank you so much for your kind and swift response to my post. It is good to know that as a friend I was dealing with the situation correctly (listening when she wants to talk)and I was glad of the other advice offered. I

  • By Frances, July 5, 2010 @ 2:11 am

    Dear Dear what a mess
    Lets start again!!

    Dear Sue,Terri, Pam and Sarah,
    Thanks for your swift response to my post and it is comforting to know that what I am doing is correct (just listening when and if she wants to talk) and I appreciate the other advice given.

    Pam
    Thank you for your kind offer and may well take you up on it in the future, but I am just waiting to see how she is when we meet up this Month, as you can understand you can not assess someone’s real feelings through a text.
    Thanks again for all your kind advice and best wishes.

    Frances. XXXX.

  • By hilly, July 5, 2010 @ 3:42 am

    Frances, I can only echo what Sue said (and from the been there POV on both sides of the coin) the worst you can say is ‘I understand’…even if you think you do it won’t be right.
    Be there, listen, comfort, that’s the best a friend can do

  • By Christine, July 5, 2010 @ 4:49 am

    Hi Frances, Its good to see that your friend has a good friend in you, for wanting to reach out and help. Depression is a horrible illness, sometimes it creeps up on you, there are times when a friend will pick up on the depression before the depressed person realizes they are sliding fast. There is nothing worse than feeling so isolated, and alone.
    Sue and everyone have given great advice, I hope your friend picks up soon, hopefully your friend will realize how she is so well thought of.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By Christine, July 5, 2010 @ 4:54 am

    Hi Terri, Thanks for your reply. I have to agree with you its nice to just listen to an American talk. Like for instance, we would say ‘that’s enough’ I have heard Americans say ‘enough already’ which even as I type it makes me smile lol. :)

  • By Rachelle, July 5, 2010 @ 6:35 am

    Christine & Terri – I like English and Australian accents (I know they’re not the same :) . In Canada different provinces have different accents and even language. Quebec is French and Newfoundland has their own accent.*g*

    Happy Monday, Rach

  • By Rachelle, July 5, 2010 @ 6:37 am

    Hi Frances – You sound like a caring wonderful friend. I think that everyone’s advice to you sounds good.
    Best wishes, Rach

  • By Nadine, July 5, 2010 @ 7:38 am

    Tres Chere Frances !

    Je comprend ce que tu ressens pour ton amie , j’ai eu une dépression heureusement pour moi j’avais ma meilleure amie , j’ai moi aussi aidé quelqu’un en dépression il ne faut pas hésiter de la faire parler de son ” Malheure ” elle ne doit pas se renfermer sur elle même ce n’est pas facile pour elle d’accepter ses ” deuils ” la personne qui pouvait la rassurer était sa maman mais elle est partie elle aussi rien ne remplace une maman tout le monde le sait ! elle vient de perdre son bébé , sa maman ! si elle te demande de venir la voir c’est qu’elle a besoin de parler de se confier , tu dois l’aider tu verras en étant en face d’elle tu trouveras les mots ! les mots viennent tout seuls ! Son chagrin est immense , pour elle la vie semble injuste quels sont les pères et les mères qui acceptent la perte d’un enfant ! et comme le dit Pam beaucoup de personnes sont prêtes à l’aider fais lui connaitre “Friends of Paul: Circle of Light” sur le site de Paul écrivez nous toutes les deux et nous serons là pour l’aider et t’aider à la soutenir ! Le fait de dévoiler à d’autres personnes son chagrin la soulagera ! Je vous embrasse toutes les deux ! MES PENSEES SONT AVEC TON AMIE !!!!!

  • By carol4spot, July 5, 2010 @ 7:52 am

    Dear Frances,

    I am really sorry for what has happened to your friend. I have said many prayers for her today and for you as well in dealing with her. It is a very difficult thing for her and you I’m sure. She is very lucky to have a friend in you. You are doing the right thing and I completely agree with everyone’s advice. xocarol

  • By hilly, July 5, 2010 @ 11:10 am

    On Nadine’s behalf as we have always agreed between us
    I understand your feelings about your friend ; I have been depressed and luckily for me I had my best friend; I have also helped someone who was depressed and you should not be afraid of making them talk about what is wrong; (you friend) mustn’t turn in on herself and it isn’t easy to come to terms with her losses. The person who could have reassured her was her mother, and she is no longer there; everyone knows that nothing can replace a mother. She has lost her baby and her mother and if she asks you to go and see her it is because she needs to talk to someone. You need to help her and you’ll find that when you are with her you will find the right words. The words come automatically. She is so unhappy, her life seems unfair; what parents can accept the loss of a child. And as Pam said there are plenty of people there ready to help her. Introduce her to the Friends of Paul: Circle of Light on Paul’s site. Both of you can write to us and we will be there to help her and to help you and give you the support you need. The very fact of opening up to someone else about her unhappiness will make her feel better.
    I send you both my love. MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOUR FRIEND

    and I second everything she has said. I can’t thank my friends among the circle of people I have met (online and in person) through Paul’s site and others for the support they have given me when things were getting me down. Most of us use this little phrase…but in case you don’t know where it came from – it was an early S&H when one asked the other ‘so who do we trust?’…Me and Thee.

  • By Sue, July 5, 2010 @ 1:49 pm

    @Pam M

    While those suggestions you offer have wonderful merit, I know that for myself, were you the person I found myself reaching for to unburden myself, and were you then to suggest I practice yoga or, worse, see a spiritually-based counselor, I’d run as fast and as far as I could in the other direction.

    I’m of the firm opinion (and yes, I know, they’re like @ss h*les, everyone has one) that advice shouldn’t be offered unless directly and unambiguously requested.

    Not necessarily with outright words, but any one of us can tell when a person is screaming “please tell me what to do” with everything but their voice.

    I find that most of the time, however, I don’t want advice or platitudes. I just want someone to listen without judgment, to share my burden and to just “be there”, in mind as well as in body.

    When I want advice as to how to come to grips with the root causes of my depression, I would most definitely ask for advice of a person I knew well and trusted fully. But if I didn’t ask for it, I would most likely resent it being given unto me.

    Course, I’m only me.

    Peace,

    Sue

  • By Frances, July 5, 2010 @ 3:46 pm

    I have to say how grateful I am for all the great advice and good wishes that I have received THANKS EVERYONE!!. I also have to be honest and say that I just wanted re-assurance that listening and letting my Friend talk was the best way to deal with the situation, and boy were you lot there to re-assure me! Thanks for the advice on meditation (Pam M) but I have to say that Meditation or yoga is not her “Thing” but I do appreciate your thoughtfulness.
    Thanks again EVERYONE I really DO appreciate your Kind help.

    All the very of best wishes to you all

    Frances.

  • By marly, July 6, 2010 @ 8:49 am

    Dear Frances,

    So sorry to hear about your friend.
    After all the advice you’ve been given I can only agree with most of what’s been said already.
    Just be there, listen ánd observe.
    You obviously know your friend well enough to be able to assess whether she can handle this depression with or without professional help.

    Pay attention to yourself as well, Frances.
    Keep in touch with your own emotions/feelings and don’t push yourself too hard.

    Take good care!

    Love,
    marly

  • By hilly, July 6, 2010 @ 11:40 am

    Marly is right Frances…don’t forget to be there for yourself!

    Way back on an earlier ‘thought’ we got into discussing what ‘selfishness’ is…sometimes is it remembering to look after yourself as well as the person you are helping. You can not help your fried if you become too worn down by the situation…and as a good friend you will be “stressed” (oh how I hate the way that word has been overworked and misused in recent years!) by being there…it is a vicious circle – but one with a far from vicious reason – or result.

  • By Frances, July 6, 2010 @ 12:39 pm

    Hi Marly & Hilly,
    Just have to say that you two or either very on the ball about these kinds of situations,(I am sure you are!) or I am very Transparent! I think I’ll go for the second option!. I have been told before that I get too emotionally involved in other peoples problems and was advised at one time to “step back” a little for my own good. That is what I did in this situation and as I’ve said before just wanted to assure myself I have done as much for my friend as possible and everyone here agreed about that.
    The ball is in my friends court now and I just hope that she IS up for coming over to visit me
    when she is ready.
    I am touched that you are concerned about my stress levels, but rest assured I am fine!
    If I know my Friend a swell as I think I do I should hear from her sometime next week.
    I will give you a progress report in dew course.
    Now I’ll let someone else use the blog for a change!

    Take care
    Frances.

  • By PamT, July 7, 2010 @ 1:44 am

    “See, I see compassion springing out of empathy, and empathy springing out of our human ability to place ourselves in someone else’s shoes. And I say then that it does spring from fear. I may be using the word differently than others here, but I still see it springing from that.”

    Sue: I hope you won’t mind if I rather belatedly comment on this. I’m with you on the first sentence but, no offence, I disagree when it comes to the second two. I think the trigger for the initial willingness and ability to feel empathy, which I agree is a precursor to compassion, comes from a place of love/goodwill/kindness (whatever you want to call it), rather than fear. I don’t generally feel very comfortable posting much of a personal informational nature on this rather weird medium that is the internet, but I’m going to bite the bullet now.

    A couple of years ago, while driving home along a country road one night, I was hit partially head-on by a USV speeding around a corner in the wrong lane. My small car careered off the road and, as I pulled myself out, I looked over to where the other vehicle had stopped – just in time to see the driver running off without a backward glance. My car was a complete write-off and I consider myself extremely lucky that I got away with nothing more serious than cuts, bruises and whiplash. But I was carted off to hospital anyway, where the police later advised me that they had caught the other driver; that he had been well over the drink drive limit and that he had told them he had ‘panicked’ after the accident. As the shock began to wear off on the following day, I was consumed with anger and fear. Anger that the driver had paid such scant regard to my well-being and scared about what might have happened if his vehicle had been just another foot across the lane; what if my car hadn’t been so well-reinforced; what if …… etc, etc, etc. Hang on in there, because I’m getting to the point …..(!)

    By an odd set of coincidence, I discovered a few days later what had happened to the other driver earlier on that night. In short, his long-estranged mother had asked him to meet her in a pub, where she had informed him that she was suffering from a terminal illness (and presumably he had drowned his sorrows. In a short space of time, I went from having ‘tried, convicted and sentenced’ him in my mind, to recognising that he was probably experiencing pain, shock, distress and a whole gamut of other emotions on that evening. I couldn’t condone his actions, but suddenly my impression of him changed from an anonymous figure of threat to a human being who had received a devastating piece of news – and I did feel compassion for him. I don’t want to make myself sound like some paragon of virtue, because that’s very far from being the case. In all honesty, my thoughts of compassion didn’t translate into action (I’m not sure what I’d have done in any event as by then proceedings were out of my hands), but I’m as sure as I can be that their foundations didn’t lie in fear. I guess it could be speculated that by empathising, I sub-consciously feared something along the same lines happening to me, but I really don’t believe that was the case. In fact, both the fear and anger I had felt up to that point of discovery, then seemed to dissipate and I was the better off for it.

    I was chatting to a mate about the relationship between empathy and compassion. We wondered whether empathy is being able to emotionally identify with another human being (even if on no other level than recognising that you both share the desire to be healthy, happy, safe etc) , while compassion is being able to empathise without being overwhelmed by their emotions yourself.

    Frances: I won’t add to the advice already given either, but I want to wish you and your friend all the very best.

    PamT

    PS. On the lighter side, a while ago somebody gave me this piece of advice: Never criticise anyone until you have walked a mile in their shoes. That way, if it all kicks off, you’re a mile away and you still have their shoes. ;-)

  • By Softly, July 7, 2010 @ 3:30 am

    Dear mr Glaser,

    Have you ever send a massage in a bottle?
    I had the idea of sending a message out a few years ago.

    So I looked for a bottle that would be able to hold my message and after rejecting a few I found the perfect one. I had never seen a bottle like that and, being the explorer that I am, I tried to learn as much as I could about the kind of vessel I chose for this journey.

    Now the writing, what kind of message could I possibly send into the world? I had put so much time and effort into finding the right bottle that a simple “hello” would not suffice. I wanted to send something that would make sense to another, something profound but not pompous, something touching but nothing sentimental, something the other could relate to without it being too personal. This goal seemed to high at times and there were many days where I wished I could go back to a simple bottle with a simple hello. But by now I had made an image in my head of “the other” and that images and the bottle on my desk kept reminding me of my initial intentions.

    By thinking about the unknown other and placing myself in their unfamiliar shoes made me rummage through the things that we must share. Things like pain and fear, joy and love, the sense of belonging and the feeling of being alone and slowly but surely my message formed. Exploring my side of these things and by walking a few miles in unfamiliar shoes brought me new perspectives and left me with no reasons to hold on to the familiar and claim it as truth. It took what seemed like forever to find a proper ending to conclude the message but I finally did. After reading it and rereading it, rewriting it and rereadig it again the message said: “I’m done, I’m told and I’m ready to be send”

    I placed the message in the bottle and there I was, at the line where water meets land and certainty meets uncertainty and I could feel a war raging inside me, letting go or holding on.
    I looked back at the person I was when I started this idea and smiled, than looked at the person I had become at the end of this quest and smiled. Gently I placed the bottle in the water and saw it being swept away by the tides of change and I smiled. Knowing I had no longer any control over it filled me with a sense of relieve and sadness. Knowing that I’ve picked my bottle and words carefully gave me a feeling of wellbeing and gratitude that was unfamiliar to me.

    Over the days and week that followed my mind drifted back to the bottle floating in the ocean of opportunities and I dreamed about “the other” that would find it. Those dreams went from bright pink in where the bottle would end up on a white beach where a handsome stranger would find and read the message and become instantly and forever happy, to dark gray where the bottle would be smashed to pieces and the message got eaten by sharks. I was surprised at how I would wake up from those dreams filled with emotion; after all, I’d let it go, didn’t I?

    The weeks became months and as the tides of changes ripped through my life, the memory of the message in a bottle faded. But the writing continued and so did the quest. I found words of others that were on a similar quest and found things that were lacking in mine. Was rudely awakened many times by the real realization that you should walk the walk if you talk the talk and was overwhelmed by moments of profound joy. Pieces I found along the way began to sink in deeper and I saw that I am the other, the handsome stranger and the shark and I could feel how we all suffer and I became conscious of what makes it so and where it will end.

    It could very well be that all who embark on this voyage will come to the same conclusions but it is I who had to do the walking and be willing to go that extra mile and not just take anyone’s word for it. Having said that, words of others were great and at times instrumental in helping me on my way.

    Words like:
    “Our consciousness gives us the ability to empower ourselves through choice and experience compassion for ourselves and by extension compassion for others.

    (PMG)

    Slowly but surely I am becoming a softer version of myself and see “the other” in a softer light and as I visit and revisit words of others I form my own and I get to know “the other me” even better.

    And than an unexpected miracle happened, I got word from “the other”, the familiar stranger found my message and said hello and thank you. It filled me with immense gratitude and sense of wellbeing that felt strangely familiar and that’s more than good enough for me.

    I remain in gratitue forever learning,

    Softly

  • By hilly, July 7, 2010 @ 11:21 am

    I have been told before that I get too emotionally involved in other peoples problems and was advised at one time to “step back” a little for my own good.

    now where have I heard that before? answer: from a good many of my friends!

  • By hilly, July 7, 2010 @ 11:28 am

    Slowly but surely I am becoming a softer version of myself and see “the other” in a softer light and as I visit and revisit words of others I form my own and I get to know “the other me” even better.

    not so much a message in a bottle but a moment where suddenly I understood that I could empower myself after all. Empower myself to believe that I can get there.
    And I’m still looking at that new version of the me I have known and TBH not always loved for 54 years and saying ‘wow I can do it and I can be there for others too.’

    My ‘internet alterego’ is a cat (as plenty here know)…well puss is learning to keep her claws neatly tucked into her paddy paws.

  • By Sue, July 7, 2010 @ 12:48 pm

    PamT:

    I don’t mind at all! I appreciate very much your example. I still hold to my own beliefs, but I do understand where you are coming from, definitely.

    Thanks for sharing it with me.

    Sue

  • By hilly, July 8, 2010 @ 3:34 am

    ;) and probably from the same people ;) ;)
    Aren’t we lucky to have friends like that.

  • By Raffy, July 8, 2010 @ 12:20 pm

    I guess our mind doesn’t allow us to be really
    conscious of what we “feel” through our senses and our experience…maybe it is too afraid of the reality (it is a “reality” in my perception obviously) that our supposed dear ego doesn’t exist and we could perceive it, afraid that something unknown could control us and have power over us. I think we are not that conscious that we are afraid to “lose” our mind. Most people apparently feel good with their minds. The mind gives us this “well-being” or can give so much suffering, and in both cases this stimulates the mind further. In my experience a part of my mind is a sort of burden to me and I have desired to get rid of it. And of course I am asking myself more and more now whether my inability to do it is just about fear… despite that need always there to “listen to my being”, to “surrender” to it… The mind is very overwhelming and gets us so uselessly wandering when we don’t find its true dimension in our life… and it seems that only by choice and practice we can try to use it in order to get in touch with our consciousness, otherwise it will be always an obstacle along our way I think.
    About empathy and compassion…thank you Sue and PamT for your points of view. I dont think that necessarily empathy leads to compassion. We are all human and for sure we can someway place ourselves in someone else’s shoes. Especially when we live the same experience, whether positive or negative, together with many people, we get even more this feeling of empathy, even if many times it lasts just for a short while. I think that true compassion is a dimension we can’t get so easily and requires a constant search, if I intend compassion in the buddhist meaning where we come to know first what the root of suffering is, and from this wisdom we start feeling the desire to get rid of it ourselves and then the others too, when the barrier between “I” and “you” fades, and it happens when we see, we feel the interconnection among all beings. When I feel only empathy I could not desire that others feel free from their suffering or not accept that they feel happy… maybe the contrary sometimes!, but with compassion it is possible, however difficult it is, because I guess it is different from just an emotional situation and comes from a deep understanding of our common human dimension and effort.

    Thanks always,Paul, for sharing…

    Raffy

  • By Sammy, July 9, 2010 @ 6:02 am

    Getting emotionally involved means you care about that person, or the things that person does or say, or care about the people that get affected of what someone else had done or said…. Getting emotionally involved means you are giving 100% of yourself. The risk is that when something goes wrong in a situation like that .. you get hurt… and you get hurt big time. The danger is that you might end up feeling worthless. I think this is something that has happened to all of us somewhere sometime in our lives.

    I once had to take a decision on stopping the hurt I felt because of something someone else was doing. I cried my heart out, begged the person to stop what he (yes that was a he!) was doing, and tried to fool myself telling that everything will be OK at the end but nothing changed. I finally understood that some people never change no matter what. I started to see what he was doing in another angle and after about two years (yes- it took me that long) I didn’t feel the hurt anymore. But I also realized that I had stopped caring about the person.

    No matter what the decision you make, what choice you make, how much you are involved emotionally or otherwise, when you gain something you also lose something. But the learning experience was worthwhile. And to know the balance between the extents of getting emotionally involved while still being a caring person, and not lose yourself in the process is priceless!

  • By Christine, July 9, 2010 @ 12:11 pm

    Hi Sammy and Pam, Feeling ‘worthless’ is a horrible feeling. I guess we can all get insecure, but when someone makes you feel ‘worthless’ it can be very hard if not impossible to get that confidence back.
    Then you start to throw questions at yourself, because are we ever really that sure of ourselves?. Self belief must be great. To know in your heart that no matter what someone throws at you its wrong. How great must that feel?. I’m having so much trouble right now trying to work through so much self doubt, its almost like struggling up a muddy slope only to slide straight back down it again. I so wish at this time that I had Paul’s positive attitude. I think mine’s gone on holiday….without me.
    Best wishes,
    Christine.

  • By hilly, July 9, 2010 @ 12:39 pm

    (Major rambling warning: I know I should have prepared this first, but bear with me, OK)

    Yes..and sometimes..it is hard to get yourself out of these feelings, isn’t it. And are ‘feelings’ who you are?” I don’t know…because certainly feelings are a part of you, and when you give all you have, and try your best and still it is is not enough or appears to be not enough or you are constantly reminded that yo are not enough….even if you do learn and do ‘know’ and work at awareness, witnessing everything without judging…that ‘place in your heart’…sometimes..there are just no words to describe or know your ‘balance’ to even yourself..

    This is when we need to step back from ourselves. When we need to remember that our friends care about us and may even be trying to find the strategy that will help us to pull through.
    When we need to disassociate ourselves from the ‘me’ of my feelings and the ‘me ‘ of my emotions and the interpretations of my feelings that they create
    The most dangerous moment is the moment when you question your worth. When you say to yourself ‘I’m not worth it’ or ‘Life isn’t worth it anymore.”
    Somewhere back there following on from one of Paul’s thoughts I posted about the day I sat and discussed all the ways of putting an end to it – and my reasons for rejecting each one. You only need to hold that conversation once in your life….with someone you trust. Because when you have gone through your list you will come to understand that you are worth so much to your friends and that your life is what you make it and worth what you want it to be – not what others expect or demand from you….and certainly not the version others may be trying to create for you.
    When you stand speechless…without words…before yourself; take a stock of all the good things and the good times. Inventory the errors and shelve them alongside the solutions.
    Be selfish! Take care of yourself. Some of us are of what was referred to as the ‘me generation’ (Ok so some of us were the tail end!). The term is used pejoratively now (mostly it seems by the kids of that same generation who seem to think that the world owes them everything and are bitter when it doesn’t come through); but they shouldn’t. The ‘me generation’ learned to examine itself (study its own navel and write a 2000 page book and a four hour film about the fluff they found there in some extreme cases!); it learned to come to terms with itself whether by meditation or drugs or the new variations on psychotherapy…it came to terms with itself; and learned to love itself.
    The Age of Aquarius dawned….
    And it went on to reach out to others and teach us to reach out to others too. But before you can care for a stranger you need to learn to care for yourself.(all psychotherapists have to go through therapy before they can offer therapy to others)

    It’s a strange thing Pam (and I think maybe Sammy will agree?)…these things happen suddenly. that light bulb moment. After being ready to fight my corner and argue until I’m blue in the face with someone so sure that she (usually a she!) knew better than I did what I meant/said….I have finally learned that there is a better way of dealing with people like that.

    (pause while the laughter dies down!)

    It happened suddenly. One day I was ready to spit fire and the next day I thought “why bother?”…I learned to walk away. Not run away; but simply turn round and raise my head in confidence (and a little disdain) and walk away…towards what is right for me and will make it possible for me to be ‘right’ to my friends. away from the hurt and those trying so hard to hurt me. towards my life and my soul. and away from the dragons.
    Is it a coincidence that at the same time things began to turn in my life…a new job; new opportunities…new inspirations?
    Did this happen because I came to terms with me a little….or was I somehow empowered to move on because of the change in my fortunes. Out of work – you soon start to question your worth; “why didn’t I get that job – what’s wrong with my CV? etc. You get negative about yourself and the jobs don’t come your way….

    In an article about Paul, an interview when he was directing something, the journalist mentioned a note tacked to the wall.
    “Do not go there”

    Very very good advice! Don’t go there where it hurts – go ‘there’ where it feels good: or stay here where you can enjoy your life and learn to take the next step in your journey better equipped not to be thrown off balance by a rock tossed onto your path by an evil spirit (the troll under the bridge).

    Ramble over. hope it makes sense to someone.

  • By hilly, July 9, 2010 @ 12:41 pm

    Christine your post appeared while I was typing my rambling….
    I call it swimming backwards through blue mud…if you need a lifebelt just shout.

  • By Sammy, July 9, 2010 @ 5:35 pm

    Pam.. I believe that feelings are certainly a part of us and are responsible therefore partly for what makes us who we are. But we do not always act upon our feelings which make a difference as well. The ‘balance’ between being involved and not drowning in it is not easy to identify or define – It also differs from person to person- doesn’t it?

    Christine : “but when someone makes you feel ‘worthless’ it can be very hard if not impossible to get that confidence back” … Christine.. Whoever made you feel that is the worthless person. Remember all the positive things that have been said about you by the people who know and love you. Only those comments are worth remembering my friend!

    Ahhhh Hilly… Talk about seeing the light- and things that happen suddenly- I think.. Yes! we tend to keep on seeing things over and over again at the same angle for a long period of time… and then like a switch that is turned on.. and the light bulb that comes alive, our mind/brain/heart start to see things differently. Maybe we are just tired of what is happening.. Maybe it takes just a word or two from a friend that knocks some sense into us, or maybe it is just us, on our own, snapping out of the situation we are in… Either way.. if we are out of it, out of the past, and live in the present, and live just in ‘now’ maybe we can step forward to stop the hurt… at least little bit.

  • By Sue, July 10, 2010 @ 5:59 am

    Dear All:

    Pardon the intrusion, but since some folks (not currently posting) seem to be having an absolute ball at my expense regarding the chimpanzee study, I just wished to post the study here, so as to make their day full of teh gigglez.

    http://www.healthfinder.gov/news/newsstory.aspx?docid=639352

    We now return you to your regularly scheduled sharing.

    Sue

  • By Christine, July 10, 2010 @ 2:17 pm

    Hi Hilly and Sammy, Thank you ladies. Hope you are having a good weekend.
    Christine xx

  • By Kay_T., July 10, 2010 @ 8:33 pm

    Hilly this is for you……I read your post or ramblings (as you called it ..LOL) dated July 9th.
    I don’t know why, but your post gave me inspiration. I have been having a particularly bad week, month, year……and I have been walking around pretending all is well; smiling and beaming happiness, but today I fell apart. I let fear take over and began to ask “why me”, “why this”, “why why why”. I had no answers. And after driving around crying during a rain storm, I decided to come home and exercise my brain cells by reading PMG’s blogs…which I enjoy. While reading comments, I came across yours. I don’t know why, but your words (or rambles) made me think. Its a completely different set of circumstances, but fear and worry and stress are the underlying factors for me. Today, I let those factors take over. I chose to turn away from the fear. ( walk away..thanks Hilly) I put on another set of glasses and looked at things from a different angle. (thanks Paul) I was able get control of my fear and my “why” became “why not”. I have decided that I am suppose to learn something from this experience. I don’t know what that is yet, but I will find out. So thank you, Hilly. Your rambles brought insight in weird way. I don’t know why. (there’s that “why” word again)
    So I say “why not me”.

  • By hilly, July 10, 2010 @ 11:11 pm

    oh blush!

    You know (or maybe you don’t) I operate bilingually (I live in France but I’m English)and 2 phrases from french comes to my mind when I’m exploring this new ramble. “se mettre en question” – means literally to examine yourself – your thoughts. the other is “faire un bilan de soi-même” which I guess can best be translated as to ‘take stock of yourself’ – sum up all your successes and your failures and balance them. “faire un bilan” comes from accountancy – and the french even get their bank statements in double entry! – so it involves ‘balancing’ your life so far – weighing up the ‘pros’ and the ‘cons’.
    I had a grandmother who loved to be 106; I’m 54 so I guess when you are half way along the path it is a good time to take stock and see how you are doing!
    When you draw up your personal balance sheet some of the fear gets balanced out by all the successes…the moments when you made it. I think most of us would be surprised how often the ‘why not me’ column is longer than the ‘why me’ column in the final balance.

  • By hilly, July 11, 2010 @ 7:29 am

    A friend of mine posted this elsewhere. I think it has bearing on what we have been discussing about fear and how we deal with it…

    The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. We live on a placid island of ignorance in the midst of black seas of infinity, and it was not meant that we should voyage far. The sciences, each straining in its own direction, have hitherto harmed us little; but some day the piecing together of disassociated knowledge will open up such terrifying vistas of reality, and of our frightful position therein, that we shall either go mad from the revelation or flee from the deadly light into the peace and safety of a new dark age.- H.P. Lovecraft-

  • By Sue, July 11, 2010 @ 9:16 am

    Hilly:

    I love that Lovecraft quote. I’m not sure, however, if all of us will. For myself, I can’t say one way or the other, but I’m already convinced I’m not even a dot on a virus on a mite on a mode of dust compared to the universe in all of its vast glory, and you know what? I’m perfectly fine with that.

    I, myself, love one of my favorite atheists who states (paraphrased) “We’re only 2 percent genetically above our closest primate ancestor. Two percent! I don’t know about you, but I sure as hell don’t want to meet the one who’s two percent above me!” (imitates a gooey mommy voice) “Aww, isn’t that sweet. Look at that cute little bug. Calls himself Hawking. Look. He mastered quantum physics. My little one mastered that in nursery school, and she’s a little, you know, s-l-o-w. Look! I have it on the fridge!”

    :D

    Sue

  • By hilly, July 11, 2010 @ 11:28 am

    woohoo Sue…that is a quote I love too. It kind of reminds me of that well used retort of the 70s when ‘equality’ was on the agender (sic…teee hee Ok so it is a sick pun)

    I don’t want equality with men…why should I stoop so low?

    Present Blog Host company excluded of course….;)

  • By Nadine, July 13, 2010 @ 7:15 am

    En panne d’ordinateur depuis 1 semaine ! Bisous à tous!!!

  • By hilly, July 13, 2010 @ 10:57 am

    Nadine’s computer has been down for a week – she sends her love to all

  • By Kay_T., July 13, 2010 @ 4:08 pm

    @ Hilly

    Thank you.

    Kay

  • By PamT, July 14, 2010 @ 12:15 pm

    Raffy: Thanks for your post. It prompted me to revisit my thoughts and understanding. I agree that empathy doesn’t always necessarily lead to compassion, but maybe it can sometimes serve as a stepping stone along the way and they can then work together hand in hand. However, if we limit ourselves only to those whose shoes we have a sense of having worn/might wear, then I think you are right that we are not really engaging in a oneness to its ‘true’ and full extent. We are connecting to those with whom we can identify (or we think we have the potential to) – the reinforcement of ‘sameness’, but within the restrictive context of specific criteria (perhaps those seemingly all-pervasive ‘us’ and ‘them’ sub-groups). So there remains a disconnection from anyone else to whom we feel our sense of empathy cannot stretch, usually as a result of the aversion we feel towards their words or actions. I think Marly posted on this subject earlier in the thread when she explored her quandary concerning Joran van der Sloot. Nevertheless, innumerable kind and heart-felt thoughts, words and actions do, I believe, emanate from that empathic state alone.

    “I think that true compassion is a dimension we can’t get so easily and requires a constant search, if I intend compassion in the buddhist meaning where we come to know first what the root of suffering is, and from this wisdom we start feeling the desire to get rid of it ourselves and then the others too, when the barrier between “I” and “you” fades, and it happens when we see, we feel the interconnection among all beings.”

    You make a good point, in my opinion. And if we are able to experience this awareness within our own being and not just grasp the concepts with our minds, I wonder whether other aspects, such as equanimity and abstinence from judging, may then perhaps slip more easily into place. What I have fairly recently come to understand, I think, is that this awareness is not entirely something new to be ‘discovered’, but more something that sits within us waiting to be ‘rediscovered’. PMG has written about re-attaching and re-membering – and that now makes more sense to me. For example, when we come into this world, I don’t think we arrive equipped with a sense of disconnection. Unfortunately, it’s something many of us pick up along the way – perhaps as a result of being ‘taught’ through our upbringing; our culture etc, etc or maybe in the way we have responded to our experiences. Maybe it is a constant search, but I do also think it’s a choice and then perhaps a series of reaffirmations of choice. What I find revealing, and sometimes frustrating, is that it’s a choice which my ego, with its entrenched sense of ‘identity’, seems to deny with the placing of obstacles and raising of objections almost every step of the way.

    PamT

  • By Connie, March 16, 2011 @ 6:58 pm

    New here. It seems a beautiful and safe place to be. I don’t know for sure what makes me feel that way but the color of the site is one. Another reason are the kind words of Paul Michael Glaser and others. I am a person who feels deeply. I am aware when someone looks at me, speaks to me, their expressions, and their words. It seems up to me how I wish to take all of these things the person is offering me. Depends on my mood. What I am feeling about myself. It can make a simple exchange between me and another person something pleasant or upsetting or in between. I have bipolar disorder. So I understand that depending on my mood, I can misinterpret what another person means. Now, that’s not good for me on one level, but once I understand that I am manic or the opposite-depressed, I can, if pick up on which mood I happen to be in, I can try to sort it out. That can allow me to be on a second level. In other words, I can take a moment to try to figure out what the other person might actually mean instead of allowing my moods to make that choice for me. If you think this is easy, it is not. Sometimes, I get even more confused and have to just let it go and not spend any time on the whole conversation. I may have confused you already. However, because, when I am not ill, I crave interactions with others and therefore care very much what others may say to me. I might actually have an opportunity to converse with another person which definitely brings a smile to my face. It’s a beautiful thing to have a friend but that is difficult for me with my illness. The constant changing moods and medication side effects keep me constantly hiding in my home reading, my only company, the characters in my books or writing short stories or journal entries. I was diagnosed around 15 years ago and since then I have read every book I could find and every website I discovered to learned about this illness. I have prayed and taught myself to resist some parts of the illness that could destroy me. I have a son that needs me and so the fight began to be as “normal” as I could be. I am a strong woman. A strong mother. Since my son was born, I promised him, he would go to college. He wants to be a doctor. I am a single parent. I have sent him through only 1/2 year of college so far but somehow I will get him through medical school. It doesn’t matter how. I will do this. I promised him. He is a smart student. I told him we have to believe and he has to work hard. He worries about me but I tell him not to. I am very happy that he is in college. This makes me so very happy. He gives me strength and he spends a lot of time talking to me about a variety of subjects from school to world news to movies to whatever I want to discuss. So I am not alone. I am blessed. Some children or adult children do not have a relationship with their parents. I have an illness that is hard to ignore and he knows about it and he treats me as if I don’t have it. Except when he notices I am becoming exhausted and not sleeping. This means a manic episode is coming on so he tells me, “Mom, maybe you should take a break and get some rest.” That is love. Or if I am getting depressed he will notice I can’t seem to get out of the bed so he will say “Mom, you haven’t gone to see your doctor lately. Maybe you should give her a call.” You’ve gotta love this kid. He loves me even though I am broken. And you know what? I work on getting fixed every day. And If I don’t get fixed? Well, I’ll keep meditating, praying, smiling, writing, breathing and walking, taking one step at a time, and never stop believing that I’m loved. And I will keep trying to converse with strangers. It will be a victory when it happens. Peace to all.

  • By hilly, March 17, 2011 @ 3:40 am

    Hi Connie.
    You are truly blessed to have such a wonderful son

  • By sstormc, April 7, 2011 @ 8:25 am

    Paul, I like this: “Fear of being wrong…of not knowing…fear of being uable to trust your heart, your senses, your experience of your existence which tells you what you KNOW with your being, not what you think/believe you know in your mind. Yes, they are seemingly two different realities constantly at war with one another.” i think we ARE afraid to believe what we FEEL is right sometimes…when it doesn’t mesh with what others have told us or what most of the world believes!
    Gosh, it sounds like something went on here that I completely missed. Kind of glad I did. I have always been able to see other points of view, and I agree that people who can’t should try to work on that.

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