It strikes me that one of the difficult things about swimming in satsang, ( the reciprocal and simultaneous experience of teaching/learning/teaching/learning), is that what I meditate and write about might not be understandable to others either because I can’t write it or they can’t hear/understand it. Or both. I say it is ‘difficult,’ when I really mean is an opportunity for me to accept both alternatives and not have to be burdened with which is right and which is wrong, true or false.
And maybe the notion of a world without right or wrong is offensive, even threatening to some, however, I believe that anything that we can identify as being beyond our comprehension is where we really want to go.That’s the place we speak of most often; heaven, eden, paradise, eternal peace, unending love. That’s the place that our minds can’t know and can only try to describe with words in an effort to quantify and qualify the experience of feeling.
The mind doesn’t feel.
That’s how it experiences itself. By doing. Its existence is entirely comprised of doing, judging, evaluating, ordering, controlling….not being.
And because it cannot feel, the mind creates with its definitions of sensation/feeling words, scenarios that defend and enrage, sadden and yearn in their complex stories of what happened or didn’t happen in the course of our conditioning in this journey of life.
The experience of feeling, experiencing the senses is an unknown to the mind. It is the unknown.
If the mind can’t ‘know’ something, (it being one of its favorite ways of ‘Doing’ in order to support its pursuit of immortality…or at least the illusion of immortality), it has a vast supply of weapons to deal with the unknown. At any time it can see it as horrible and dark and deathfull, exotic and mysterious, sometimes benevolent, and an ethereal spirituality to be adorned with all the gilt of honor, tradition, belief, philosophy and magic. It can defend against it with rage; rage at one’s self (read: ‘helplessness’: most commonly experienced as depression), hate,anger, killing, owning, controlling, obsessing, forgetting, DENYING any experience of the fear that always creeps in from the unknown.
Yet, we don’t experience life with our minds. We see it, measure it, etc, however we experience life through our senses. Our physical and by extension, emotional feelings. We experience, know—its existence and ours by feeling them.
Our minds can editorialize and spin the story any which way, but hold the presses: how did it/being/life feel?
So here’s a question; If there’s something that we feel that our minds can’t understand or control, (and we’re only using what small percentage of our brains(?), then what’s the point of having a brain? I mean besides the cars and medicines and exquisite war machines, (can’t say ‘nice music, good food, good sex…’ they’re feelings/sensations), the rule of law and the dollar, and the edifices of belief; the cathedrals, temples, and shrines,…good pizza…
It’s what we use the mind to focus on. We honor our senses within and without, as we honor our brains.
We enjoy our ability to exercise the muscle of thinking.
However when confronted with our inability to affect the outcome of something, like our lives, when that degree of helplessness paralyzes you or simply tickles you with some indigestion or rage, while our minds may be able to create a bandaid to deny that horrible feeling of helplessness… the fact is that our minds fear that they can’t help us out. How do we know this? With our feelings. Listen to them. That’s what they’ll tell you.
What we can do, is to focus our minds on things that reaffirm and bring us to a more peacefull place. The more we do it, the better we remember to do it the next time. How do we focus the mind?
We ask it questions.
Questions such as; ‘what do you hear? what do you see? what do you smell? what do you feel on your skin,what are you thinking? RIGHT NOW. HERE in the Present? Which is ALL you can ever really know…
Can you see yourself thinking , feeling, smelling…? Can you see yourself sitting there reading this?
Get cooled out, you know, relaxed.
Be in a comfortable place.
Close your eyes so that it is just your space..
Ask these questions and simply watch. Watch yourself asking the questions and watch yourself as you are feeling all your sensations, watch your mind think its thoughts…
As you watch, you are plugging into the great ethernet of existence of which…(just contemplate this…don’t feel like you have to judge your feelings about this experience…) of which everything is thought, knowing.
Consider this experience of being with everything that exists, has ever existed, will continue to exist….forever, eternally, immortally…
You are experiencing the true meaning of ‘knowing; ‘ Being one with. Belonging. Feeling a part of. Feeling as if when you leave this body behind, a part of you keeps going…forever, (of course your mind wants to believe that it has a ‘structure’ to it, like the Big Boss, and laws, and underlings, and people that deserve to be there and don’t.)
You don’t have to give it a name, because you already know it. It’s where you came from, it’s where you are going to, it’s where you are, right now, as you read this.
This is your truth.
You are everything that feels good and that doesn’t.
You are all of it.
You don’t have to judge it or identify it…that will not help control it or deny it.
Our experience of life is replete will all that we experience in pain and in pleasure. We can choose to honor our consciousness, to honor this enormous and, yes sacred gift: our ability to be see ourselves exist, our awareness that allows us to honor that gift, for this is truly the only thing thing we want…to climb to our higher being, to find the chalice, the fountain of youth, true love, God. You can call it what you will. This is home.
Just a thought..
J ust a thought.